graphs of my Universe
I’ll send
You postcards.
Cards with white flower
On white paper
And some messages
On white ink
That will glow
When
You bring it to the dark.
Only
You and I know what it is
Until one day
You bring the light
To burn it or frame it.
—
Dear you…. 💝
This cart, Beloved,
Been through deserts and oceans,
It now resides here.
—
Sometimes she just doesn’t want any. It’s just enough to be what is. Sitting down, ignoring planned route, forgetting prescribed destination, letting other travelers pass by with no hallo or hi, enjoying silence, remembering what’s not describable through resting senses….
…. Not anything….
…. Of nothing….
…. In everything….
Wishing, Beloved,
Upon a star where dreams sit
Waiting to be picked
One by one to the bucket
Before the steps reach the home—
—
Many dreams look so much near. Places to go on earth displayed in Pinterest lengthen the list and be a good escape for mind every weekend before dosing off. Can only wish that the lengthened list lengthens the life, pushing the EOL later and later— 🤗
Some dreams can’t even be described…. You are as near as far away…. 🙃
Happy weekend. Oops long weekend.
Sketches, Beloved
Turning imagination
To the sensible
That won’t last longer than life;
Let go from the very start—
—
Sometimes I asked myself “what will happen to all these sketches when I die?” 🫥 Not easy to answer until I realised what I have done to most of my mistakes: let go.
🤡
Mirror, Beloved.
Look back while looking forward!
Sigh. Blank. Mute. Smile. Shine.
—
Acceptance has gathered laughter, smile, speechlessness, emptiness, anger into a frame with a figure looking into a mirror at the same time seeing what is situated behind.
Beloved, the past is the past but it is what has molded a present person. It should be forgiven, it should not be forgotten.
Thank you, yesterday! Hello, today! Welcome, future!
lovely reservoir — under the clean night sky, with the bestest friend of mine, my own self 💝
Two friends are chatting under a tree.
Friend #1: I think God takes care of us very well.
Friend #2: I think God stopped working after creating us.
Friend #1: You just don’t know.
Friend #2: I just don’t care.
Suddenly a lightning strikes not far from the tree.
Friend #1: Cheese!!!
Friend #2: What the hell are you doing?
Friend #1: I told you! You don’t know! God just took a picture of us gossiping.
Friend #2: @&@$#%^*~
(this is a very common joke among Indonesians, modification is applied here)
—
It is the way some crazy heads respond to what’s striking around them. 🤩
Counting beads of pray,
An echoed name flows away
Through silence of heart.
—
Have you ever prayed so silently? No one can hear. Only beads of pray click. A remembrance of love that is unseen. Beyond the ocean and beyond existence—
Literature is a limited tool to disclose ideas and emotions; not accurate enough to shoot one heart. Math is sharp to operate a complex equation; not sweet enough though to state naked truth.
With what then should I count this reality between two lovers? Beauty or precision?
Only beads of pray is whispered silently. Who knows the river will sail this soft voice along its flow introducing it to the estuary that escorts it to the ocean where winds push the current following the North Star to meet with you.
Salaam.
Sincerely,
from a tiny heart wrapped in a peaceful morning
Scarlet, Beloved,
Traveling in a canal
Brings blossom to life.
—
Flamboyan tree is magnificently stunning, all part of it— trunk, branches, twigs, leaves, scarlet flowers and seed pods, no exception.
Seeing pictures of flamboyan trees with blossoming scarlet flowers feels like my blood gets healthier and flows more smoothly. Or maybe it’s just a coincidence that I’m being healthy now and seeing the pictures. So, it is the blood not the scarlet flowers causing me feel alive! ☺️
Alhamdulillah. Monday is well done. A satisfying healthy day!
Note: Blood colour isn’t always bright red. It won’t be blue though.
Salaam.
Bouquet, Beloved,
A bunch of symbols arranged
Through fragrance and hues.
—
Amaryllis: strength and determination
Daffodil: honesty, truth and forgiveness
Eucalyptus: division of the underworld, earth and heaven (Aboriginal wisdom); inner and outer strength, leadership
Gladiolus: faithfulness and integrity
Lily of the valley: sincerity and joy
Sunflower: loyalty and unconditional love
Tendril: growth, softness, flexibility (Javanese wisdom)
Deep dive, Beloved,
To where soft bodies guard light
Wisdom of the dark
—
Nowhere is better than within, where price tag is no longer a concern, where silence and acceptance is currency, where no one looks evil or harmless, where only gratitude and peace reside, where no colour distracts, where pain and joy are blended to ecstatic reality….
….where I finally get sleepy 😁
Salaam.
Reading, Beloved
Deciphering messages
Sent by soul that shines—
—
Sending my warm regards to all readers in the world. Hope we’re all blessed with wisdom and fun from reading and what is read.
Salaam…. 🙏🏼
Kinokuniya SG – calm Saturday afternoon after Japanese class with Honda Sensei
Welcome, Beloved,
To where you belong. The home
That keeps missing you.
—
They are welcoming me home with love ♥️
Flowers, Beloved,
Dipping her days in colours,
Leaving her in awe—
—
Thanks God for the flowers around which have helped me much to be in good mood. Suddenly get the urge to ritually pray and thank for all the blessings sprinkled on to me—
Weekend, bring me to Masjid Sultan. 🥰
Hungry, Beloved,
For love yet the bucket’s full.
The love though won’t stop.
—
Was so hungry! Hungry or greedy me? Maybe greedy but just couldn’t tell people “I’m greedy I could eat a horse”. 🤤
How much time
Is good to meet
Old friends?
Neither hours
Nor minutes;
A bowl of dessert
Is good enough
To throw jokes,
To exchange laughter,
Before the next page
After PTO.
—
Hanoi – Jun. 30, 2022/22:50
Morning is breathing
With sun light from the window
And red carnation.
—
There is always good thing to associate to morning….
…. if we accept it.
💝
Your sketch, Beloved,
Done, undone, done, undone for
Perfect silhouette—
—
Your look in this mind. More or less—
Blessings, Beloved,
Smiles counted as a welcome
Paid with a thank you.
—
I’ve always loved South East Asia countries; its friendliness, warmth and good food is beyond compare. Tonight was a nice local experiences with a colleague at Hanoi night for cha ca la vang, desserts on the road and egg coffee in Cafe Dinh. Most importantly on motor bike!
🏍
Got lost, Beloved,
Standing in a night-market
Seeing all the cheers—
—-
I see
You
In the clarity of evening lake.
I hear
You
Through the whispering midnight wind.
I touch
You
In the warm water I splash at the dawn.
I taste
You
In the green tea I sip in the morning bright.
I smell
You
In the best lunch of the day.
I feel
You
In this throbbing heart in the sweet twilight.
To
You
Across the ocean:
Your
Name is so real,
Why not
Your
Presence?
—
Blessed life, Beloved,
Chains of weeks with good content
Closed with happy ends—
—
Weekend!
Again?
I’ve been curious how many weekends I’ve lived.
Way more than 2000!
Are there more good weekends than not so good ones? After some contemplation the answer is yes! There have been way more good weekends in my life! Thanks to laughter and clumsiness naturally blessed to me.
Hope to live thousands of more healthy weeks and commit to spend them gloriously!
If not given that long? Still enjoy! Or if given too short, negotiate! Don’t disappoint this human being, God. 😶
Rock this weekend!!!
This heart, Beloved,
Vast and deep where I hide you
As bright as daylight—
—-
Bird songs, Beloved,
About rice fields and rivers
Caressed by the wind
Blowing with freshness of life
Blessed with calmness of the heart—
—-
– Learning to use the word love has never been easy.
– It was not a word what I uttered to people cared so much although loving vibe was there.
– Where I was born love was never a word to tell, only expression and action naturally sensed everyday.
– Day by day, place to place walked and camped away from the nest has introduced me particular words in many different languages with the same vibe and function.
– It was battle after battle, more losing than winning that finally pulled me to a realisation that that word can never be wasted.
– A word that sums up the scattered things among what is felt, what is thought and what is expressed.
– The word that I learnt with heavy head as it was awkward to say, clumsy to hear, and risky to offer.
– Yet the word knocked on my heart more intensely.
– It didn’t give up until at one turn it was taken for granted that every baby is born to recognise it to label the depth of intension for the rest of its life.
– Love is a magical word indeed uttered either to thinly sugar coat or to sincerely deep dive.
– Love though acts like a sieve welcoming fine dust that can enter a micro hole, leaving coarse material too grand to strain.
– Love gives me bright days with smiles from the understanding.
– Love discloses grins and groans from the disbelieving.
– Love makes life lighter with its innocent bouncing.
– Love makes heavy life heavier if not let go.
– This word is just a word….
Yet
– This word has made me more acceptant to the present.
– This word has transformed the way I see the past.
– The load and content and context around this word have beautifully shaped my perception about future.
– I don’t listen anymore when people tell me love is for the weak and the spoiled.
– Love is for the vulnerable yet ready to face the reality.
– Love is for the fragile yet tough in losing battle but winning the war.
– True Javanese think that love is as vast as this life itself. It is not stagnant. It expands. It doesn’t only connote branta or wuyung. Love is also built as tresna, asih, sih and welas asih.
– I will use this word more to and for those closer to my heart and soul.
These bullet points are sponsored by a terrible headache. 😁
Note:
- branta, wuyung: love directly related to infatuation, young love, puppy love, pure romance
- tresna, asih: love as universally used, can be any love
- sih: deep love, mature love, love related to soul to soul or heart to heart connection
- welas asih: love based on humanity
Singapore – Jun. 21, 2022/20:22
Love is
Unseen rope
Invisibly tying
Sparkling souls.
Love is
Interconnected network
Constantly connecting
All computers.
Love is
Moving air
Secretly exchanged
Through breathing.
Love is
An attached context
Building meaning
In a statement.
Love is
A medium
Conveying messages
To a ready recipient.
And what is not
Is not.
—
Years of experience has brought me to an understanding that subtle sensitivity is one of the keys to understanding, genuineness, boundary and security.
Welcome to genuine hearts. Good bye to tricky engagements.
Today I’m in love again with those around me who never give up on my clumsiness and insensitivity and with myself who becomes more patient and acceptant.
Salaam. 💝
Love at the first sight
To what’s captured by senses
And stays in the heart—
—
One beloved person called me asking why I didn’t attend a nephew’s wedding party yesterday. I said I couldn’t as I’ve been physically “beaten up” because of an accident recently. After what happened, sorry and better be careful, don’t go biking at night, wear the right shoes; she started ranting….
“What are you looking for in life? Look at your nephews and nieces getting married one by one. They wish their best wishes for you but you don’t seem to care. You’d better find one man and get married and they will attend your wedding party with all love and gifts.”
“Not my priority”, I said.
“What is your priority? Your work? Your dream? What?”
It is sometimes annoying to be a single woman in a society in which marriage is highly appreciated and considered as highway to happiness. I feel so lucky for living overseas away from those caring so much about me so I can enjoy my life the way I love to. Many of my single girl friends call me now and then telling me how tiring it is to answer the same questions again and again even when they don’t seem to have problems for not getting married. We are mentally and financially stable. 😁
“Ok, tell me I’ll find one. I know you won’t want one like your last. Tell me.”
“Sexually straight and not abusive in any way possible.”
“That’s easy! It is just you so difficult! Sometimes you just have to give up your priority or your love. I got married without love and it goes well. Many of us do and it goes well. Know that we worry about you.”
Alamak….
Weekend still goes well. And I’m happily looking forward to another week.
Life is a mystery, and so is love. I love my life and I don’t worry. 🥰
the right place possible – Jun. 19, 2022/17:12
Story, Beloved
Told through colours, dots and lines
About nature love.
—
So much miss “playgrounds” where plants are greeting freely with their stories and advices. Hallo Jogja and Bali, wait for me. 🍀
Happiness in progress
Might be a mess.
It will turn to solid prime
Only if she meets finish line.
In no time—
—
Happy Sunday!
Be fair, Beloved,
Neither east nor west to face.
Be centered in self.
—
Power should be balanced. No one should overpower. Only respect and love can rule the world appropriately.
Find love, Beloved,
Through the air breathed in and out.
No end of blessings-
—
Weekend is about breathing with zero sighing.
Can’t imagine life with no space to just stop for a while. 💝
rike jokanan 
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