graphs of my Universe
Travel light is fun,
With so little to carry.
Prancing deer,
Safe in the forest,
No tiger,
No bear,
Just green and breeze.
Travel full is peace,
With all so prepared.
Walking elephant,
Graceful in the desert,
No hyena,
No lion,
Just sun and breeze.
Let’s travel
With light heart,
Flying eagle,
Free in the high,
No storm,
No lightning,
Just blue and breeze.
Let’s travel
With full heart,
Humming alpaca,
Peaceful in the hill,
No distress,
No agitation,
Just earth and breeze.
—
It sways flexibly
In stormy days.
It grows calmly
In sunny days.
It roots perennially
In the meadow.
It sings;
It hums;
It mutes;
It sees;
It hears;
It touches;
It tastes;
It smells;
In silence
Perfectly.
It does well.
—
Dear, day.
Do you know that I never stop waiting for you?
When my watch ticks a second,
My heart drips a note,
My pulse vibrates softly,
I know I am closer to you.
Dear, day.
Do you know that every part of you blesses me?
When morning breaks,
Noon flares,
Dusk fades to night,
I know the next you is waiting
For me.
Day oh day
Many I can’t understand,
Much I can’t decipher,
Little I can see,
Very few I can give
Yet I still hope
To meet you again.
Dear, day.
How I am blessed with family,
Gifted with friends,
Sufficed with this self,
You are still the one
Sung by this heart.
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
All have been today
And never faded away.
I am blessed, day
With another you
In the best way.
And for you
I am grateful.
—
—
Welcomed by a home with greenery to be cooked, she builds a sweet mood.
Towers will mostly collapse of weak foundation…. Or the strongest quake
—
A bird builds a nest in what its mother describes a home. Protection—
—
No one is truly detached from one’s root and that is a foundation that should not be shaken. Foundation is the last and foremost protecting part of a building. When others try to shake adult mature’s foundation principles, they are sooner or later surely destroying a construction that has been built carefully and systematically through parenting, education and culture especially in early age.
Still want to change your friends to be like what you want them to be? It is either killing them inside or killing you inside. Worse is both don’t realise that the other is dying or dead inside; even think there is a good change considered “a success to educate (wrong) friends”. Ah….! Illusion.
Solution? Eh? How would you treat a beautiful gift given to you? Don’t try changing others’ foundation principles. Instead accompany them grow to their best version as they are.
And for those not even appreciating their own or others’ roots: congratulations, you are doomed. Oops! I mean it takes longer time for you to reach true goals. 😁
Salaam.
💝
Thank you, 2022 for every single second spent together. You are a stronger part of what I’ve been building with love. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
And thanks to all years passing, too. I’ll miss you. 💝
—
Life is wonderful that she is eager about it and is willing to expand and to keep up with what she is becoming. She is the pilot, she is the plane. She is the destination, she is the direction. She is the standard, she is the conformance. She is the alignment, she is the aligned. She is enough.
It is not others’ responsibility that she feels good or not good. The feel existing is because she allows it to be. And the vice versa.
—
2023, be my excellent canvas of feel-good-no-matter-what. Clarity, sufficiency, integrity as in good life, beautiful love, genuine laughter 💗
Alfatihah.
💝
About tumpeng or buceng (in Bahasa Indonesia)
The rose apple is pink enough to be harvested. It’s the right time.
—
About Lucy Van Pelt
The truth that I learnt
Is unlearnt.
The truth that I unlearnt
Is re-learnt.
The truth is within
Unsaid, unseen, embraced.
The truth is without
Loudly said, interpreted differently.
The truth is there
To be shut down by the next truth.
The truth is here
To be embraced by accepting heart.
The truth is a spectrum of colours
Layered like no clear lining.
The truth is an ocean of probabilities
Stored like no possible turns.
—
Smile, Beloved, smile.
It’s a luxurious gift
For you and for me.
—
I was checking my educational docs and was in awe to see my photos in each of different docs. How I am touched by physical transformation and what experiences attached to it, that makes me stay loyal with my own self whatsoever.
Tell yourself that your life is a journey that if you need buddy, you should pick those willing to share wonder. Otherwise, travel alone. 💝
Thank you!
💝
Journey to the self
Takes a long and winding road,
Worth doing. Half done—
—
Human beings’ journey to understand one’s self is often unpredictable. I never wanted to visit Mecca and Medina yet because of my devotion to a mother, I agreed to go to ensure that she was safe and healthy. And the result was tremendous evolution of self. 💝
To Ibu: I miss you much today 😘
Alfatihah
Why 9? It’s just 9.
When counting 9, it brings 9.
9 is 9. Be 9.
—
Why 9?
Back to uni days I was very keen of learning numerology, slightly superstitious to certain level but it was very entertaining and encouraging. It doesn’t give me a lot of benefits in career but a little knowledge about numerology sometimes gives me unique perspective of problem solving; or hmmm at least good distraction. Based on numerology each number has meaning and energy. Different number, different meaning, different vibe, different luck.
Among all numbers my favourite is 1, 7, 9. Very personal. Yet I like to make it look reasonable and logical. 😊
What about those numbers?
1 – One is loyalty, dedication, unity, singularity. We are loyal when we “worship” one – the God, the love. Dedication is focusing on one – one company, one citizenship, one goal. Unity is multiple agreeing on one – unity in diversity. Singularity is uniqueness of one, no comparison – feel it when we’re alone, that’s who you are. My definition as individual being rules the game.
7 – Seven is pitu in Javanese, an abbreviation of pitulungan that means help, support. No one can live alone as social beings so helping and supporting each other is the only way to survive in society. Cultural definition rules the game.
9 – September the 9th month is my birth month. I was categorised to have a character of group 9 in one numerology class. Almost dead at 9. 9 is the only number that I adore because of its logical and scientific function. 9 is my lucky number! Both empirical and logical experiences rule the game.
Dear, my favourite numbers. When will my company stock price go up back to 179 again? That is the point of my favourite numbers ranting today!
Happy weekend!
Now here is a point
Where start and finish collide.
A shadow of yours—
—
Midnight is calling
With blaring sound in the aisle.
Desperate lovers—
—
Suddenly very loud voice of (maybe) two lovers walking down the aisle outside the hotel room laughing interrupted my sleep, and so interrupted my nightmare. Thank you and at the same time damn you!
Beloved, please send me back to slumberland again. 👀
❤️🩹
Manusia mengembarai langit
Manusia menyusuri cakrawala
Tidak untuk menguasainya
Melainkan untuk menguji dirinya
Apakah dia bertahan menjadi manusia,
Tidak untuk hebat kuasa atau perkasa
Melainkan untuk setia sebagai manusia.
(Emha Ainun Nadjib)
—
Good morning, Surabaya. You did a lot of moulding to this human being. Thank you!!! 💝
How good is friendship?
As good as age of a friend
Whose food transforms taste.
—
My mother said
You were a cute baby
Even when crying.
My mother said
You were a beautiful toddler
Running around,
Bubbling all words.
My mother said
You were a cheerful girl
Cycling around
Climbing up trees
Playing drowning in the river.
My mother said
You were a beautiful woman
Arguing every ideas from me
Showing me your strong desires
Moving to where life brought us.
My mother said
You are an adult woman
Enjoying life differently from me
Giving me what you’ve promised to be
Loving what you love with no doubt
Living life with smiles and warm heart.
My mother said
I love you
I bless you
Wherever you are.
You’re loved
You’re blessed
However you are.
—
My mother called, we laughed a lot today. She said I laughed as I did when I was a baby. How happy I have been to be her daughter. Lots of hugs and kisses, Ibu.
Alfatihah.
💝
A path to a place
Is walked through trees and uphills.
A meadow is waiting
Opening another path
To a warm home filled with love.
—
My friend sent me three photos of our beloved “simbah” (those senior people who are considered wise or those who have grandchildren) – Javanese). Most people call these simbah “batik maker” because they make batik to earn a living. We both call them “batik artist”. More than that through what we’ve seen and heard about them, we’ve considered they are artists of their life. How they embrace their humble life gracefully and consciously has always amazed both of us. They live like calm river flowing to the sea. They don’t struggle against what others think about or do to them. They live as if there is no hindrance and disturbance in life.
When my friend told me some things about those three honourable ladies, I secretly harvested some lessons. It is very critical reminder for me who is still very much attached to a feeling of (accidentally) underestimated and (slightly) humiliated because of one petty case. These three artists of life have silently told me to let go.
What a loud shot in a quiet weekend!
No apology is needed. All is gradually let go through my own wish and willingness. This is my life and I only want to be the artist of my own life. 💝
Thank you, artists of life. You’re blessed. 💝
Salaam.
A hole curls sweetly
As a center of a whole.
Delicious truth—
—
She be, Beloved,
The space not the furniture,
Lets all come and go.
—
If only maturity could be implanted like nose or breast or whatever, I would still choose to get mature naturally through ageing and weakening although it takes almost half of century of struggling and pain to find only its gate. Damn late!
One maturity breakthrough of my life was when realising I should be more a “space human being” (my teacher calls it “room human being”) rather than a “furniture human being”.
Salaam….
A guest, Beloved,
Makes host happy yet confused.
Smile sweet and thank, too.
—
I’ve met hosts with different types of personality or characteristics. When the host is a person, it’s just about that particular person. When the host is a company, it shows me the company culture or local culture.
I’ve got a few “cute” treatment from some hosts.
One company in Koka was informed that I’m a Muslim. My colleague told them “Rike eats halal, please find the food source from now.” They didn’t clarify to me and just followed that pranking colleague blindly. And in my 3-day visit they fed me halal food they ordered online and had to be delivered long trip to that remote area.
“Is it good, Rike-san?” The host asked me on the last day.
“Do you expect honest or polite answer?” said I laughing.
“Be honest please ha ha…”
“I tried NN-san’s food from your canteen. I love your food much much better. This online food tasted good but didn’t taste fresh.” It was impolite like hell for most Japanese host I guess. 😂
“Our canteen food is not halal. I’m sorry about the online food.” He must have wanted to commit suicide after that. 😁
Then I started preaching what halal meant to me. And they said they would not order the halal food for me anymore and give me their canteen food the following years. 😂
—
The second was one company knowing I’m a Muslim as informed by the branch in Malaysia. So they knew I pray although they never knew I only pray when wanting to.
So they brought me to a small room to do afternoon prayer. I asked if they have Muslim employees so they had the room, they said it was prepared for me. They moved out table, chairs and other cultural ornaments. 🙇🏻♀️
The first day I prayed, the other days they asked if I would pray. I said no. Then again I preached what type of Muslim I was and they nodded heads looking confused— they might think how would a human being can be this obedient yet disobedient to her God.
—
The third is also about being a Muslim. I came with 6 other people for 2 days and the company gave me fruit salad while giving nice beef/chicken/pork, egg, vegetable, rice lunch to others. They said they only had salad as halal food and no restaurant near the industrial area cooks halal and non halal food separately.
My colleagues explained that I could eat this and that but “not pork only”. So the next day they provided my favourite Vietnam spring roll with “vegetable and pork” not “pork only”. I left the lunch box untouched and went back to the yummy salad. I’ll come back next year, please give me pho. 😁
—
Some people are so naive not knowing what to do and deciding to do their bestest best to respect the guests. God bless them.
I enjoy being a (not so good) Muslim. Misunderstood but still well treated by those willing to respect others. God bless you! 💝
Salaam….
These gifts, Beloved,
Peace and love hummed to loved ones
Living here and there—
—
One of the Javanese and Islamic teachings that I will never leave for the rest of my life is sending gift of prayer containing peace and love to my loved ones wherever they are, whether they are physically wandering on earth or spiritually gathering around life.
I believe that my passing-away ancestors are living in different levels of consciousness (call it hell, heaven or somewhere in between up to your liking) and they are watching their offsprings without being able to directly communicating with us. They deserve my gift as they have been my line to get the chance to be here now. They deserve peace and love as they have done the best they could to draw a meaningful family tree. Yes, some might have made silly mistakes but hey that’s what Buddhism calls “karma”. Yes, some might have caused shameful stains on the family picture but hey that’s what Islam calls “alam syahadah”. Whoever and whatever they were, all of my ancestors deserve good wishes sung to them.
I also wish peace and love to those I love still breathing the air. Wishing all of them health and happiness. 💝
We Javanese Muslim will send gift by reciting some Javanese prayer closed with Alfatihah, a short chapter in the Quran containing peace, love, praise, forgiving, protection and guidance. A basket of beautiful wishes—
How light this heart is to be sure that all whom I love are well.
Alfatihah to all whom I love. You’re loved. You’re blessed. Don’t shop too much. 😁
Happy weekend!
Little bird, dear love,
Telling her to soar then go home
To where her heart is—
—
Home. Is it a what, a who, a whom, a whose, a which, a when, a where or a how? She knows hers and it doesn’t always the same as others’. 💝
With love, Beloved,
All is done and completed.
How would she not thank?
—
Dream home, Beloved,
Sitting with all senses on,
Capturing moments—
—
Lunch break + very very heavy rain = early wish of birthday getaway to come true!
To be continued with more destinations in 2028, 2029, 2030, 2031, 2032, 2033, 2034, 2035, 2036, 2037, 2038, 2039, 2040, 2041, 2042, 2043, 2044, 2045, 2046, 2047, 2048, 2049, 2050, 2051, 2052, 2053, 2054, 2055, 2056, 2057, 2058, 2059, 2060, 2061, 2062, 2063, 2064, 2065…. As if I knew how long I will wander around here? I hope to live as long as time is mentally and physically enjoyable with family and friends without bothering them.
Long life, fresh and sane!
Then came the calculation part…. A lot of coins to spend to comfortably celebrate that way in those particular places. Easy! Just need a clover pendant to make it happen. 😝
Thanks for the rain and daydream. I know there is more than meets the eye! Life is so rich and I accept all the gifts.
Morning, Beloved,
When seeds of joy is planted.
When dewdrops slide off.
What hues are painted for skies.
Whose voice will define the day.
—
Leadership is about being able to discriminate my own thoughts and making conscious decisions for the best of the agreed direction.
after morning prayer, certain day is just so….
Sky gate, Beloved
Once opened, cannot be closed.
Blessings shower down.
—
How would it feel to be showered with rain of blessings? Intuition is truly a blessing.
Dear, Sky. Thanks for the bright half moon last night which kept reminding me to not regret for telling genuinely with no anger about my intuition that might have offended someone.
Intuition is to be listened. Intuition is not always popping out; yet once popping out, it is always right. Yes, yes, this person is better in to be genuine than to look gorgeous. 🙂
Let’s go out to breathe the freedom and victory. Today still with Blue, let Red take a rest. 💝
Salaam.
after morning prayer
Weekend, Beloved,
When heaven moves to kitchen
Where AirPods are on—
—
It’s always good to hear from good and best friends especially at weekends in which time feels like unlimited, calls can be done while cooking or cleaning the house. Topics vary from food to rubbish, celebrity to annoying friends, spirituality to sexuality, neighbourhood to social media, history to future, measured dream to dreamy imagination, everything.
This morning a group call stopped abruptly in the middle of a topic “what’s your most interesting experience in social media”.
F1 (friend #1): You all know. We married.
F2 (friend #2): That’s happy. Try again.
F1: Scammer! It was long before this marriage. A guy put a French guy photo uploading activities of the rich handsome guy who was actually not himself and after one month I found that he was from an Asian country trying to get my money. It became a twisted plot when finally I found who he was. He made up stories that he lost his business, he tried many things but could not make it and had no choice but doing what he was doing.
F2: Was it the one you told me?
F1: Yes. You?
Me: I stalked my crush. I thought he played numbers to align with the numbers of my postings, followers and followings until finally I knew he was adjusting his numbers of postings, followers and followings to align with his fiancée’s numbers! 😫
F2: How did you know that she was the fiancée?
Me: Long story short: I found their photos having vacations to many different places every single year with one particular hashtag of their nicknames put together. They’re liking each other’s postings, too. Since then I stopped stalking him. I guess they are secretly married. Why was I so stupid? 😁
F2: Better stupid then knowing you are and so you learn. 🙂 Ok my turn. I watched porn videos.
F1, Me: What?! Where?!
F1: When?!
F2: 😂😂😂😂😂 Prank youuuuu! Of course not! I don’t have interesting experience in social media. I’m too busy with my work. Hey! Why are you both so excited? You want?
F1, Me: No!
F2: I do want.
F1: What? Say that again! I guess you have done it, you just don’t want to admit it! You’re a man and impossible to not watch that kind of videos! Don’t lie!
Me: Hmmm…. Ok, ok. That’s interesting. It’s fine just admit it.
F2: What’s wrong with you, ladies? I’m joking!
F1: (left group call)
Me: Are you there?
F2: (left group call)
Me: (feeling confused and stupid after talking to husband and wife who probably started a fight because of one failed joke)
What a (stupid) weekend! May all beings be happy.
Lesson learnt: plan your joke well esp in front of your wife! 😝
Dream home, Beloved,
A place where nature meets hearts;
Hearts warmly greet souls—
—
The conversation with a long lost friend came to a topic of “where we want to live if ending living alone?”
Living in Singapore was never part of my dream. A visit in 2010 gave me impression that I would die of hunger in a week with Indonesia salary. 😁
Now this city is a lovely second home; my impression has changed. I won’t die because of hunger but I will die because of loneliness if I stay single retiring here. I still can’t find enough friends like those in home country. There are three but all of them will retire in Bali and New Zealand sooner than me.
Residing in a landed property where gardening and backyard dining is affordable is a preference, yet I don’t have the luxury of living in such place here. And I don’t want to die alone in a locked condo found rotten after days or even weeks. Oh God, please protect me from such horrible thing. Amen….
F: I’ve always wanted to live in Ubud and it will happen very soon. I’ll open a spa with all traditional herbal from all over Indonesia. I’ll quit my job soon. I want to live my own life as me, no one can tell me to do this and that anymore! No bloody politics anymore! Visit me often! You’ll find my spa super special! I’ll give you discount! Be a regular customer! Hey! You once wanted to live in Thailand?
Me: Someone informed me about a good property in low price near my favourite hotel in Ayutthaya. Yet Thai have controversial life style I’m not comfortable with in a way. I’m too simple, sometimes too honest and can be against those status-oriented that I might not be able to adapt well. Not a true dream! Hey! Actually love to live in Kyoto!
F: You’ll die in three months after you complete second round of shrine, temple and ancient house hopping! 😂
Me: Dying of walking! 😂
What a refreshing conversation! And yes, I’ll visit her spa soon! 😍
Lesson learnt: Will only live with those I love and loving me where home is a real feel. No excuse.
Salaam…. 💝
Weekend, Beloved:
Hopping corner to corner
Building joyous vibe—
—
What a busy weekend I have! One living room, one kitchen, one balcony, one bedroom, one bathroom, one storage room, one laundry corner — all must be done on one day by one person.
Professionally it is called one on one! 🤡
rike jokanan 
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