Stories, Beloved, Chronological events With no emotion She puts meanings and settings To characters in action.
β
I like poems loaded with love even when it is not love stories according to my friends. To me all stories are potential love stories.
I couldnβt find my left green sock and a poem about losing a beloved one was born. My kitchen lamp was blinking before switched off for good, a poem about a lover moving on after struggling reaching out to the beloved. Yet real broken heart helped me develop poems about how a heart shape blinks from white to blue to red to black before fading away.
Everything is love story between a lover and beloved. Of left and right socks. Of dark and light. Of hope and fear. Of head and heart. Of missing you and hating you. Of everything and nothing. Of me and my beloved that constantly changeable among me, you and them.
Mystery? Cheesy? It doesnβt matter. It helps me relax yet focus. β₯οΈ
Life is all romance through these eyes. Wish that they remain with romantic lenses until life shows its true romanticism at the end of the journeyβ
π
oh oh oh love you love you love youβ¦.. who are you? someone, something or some money? π
Married, Beloved, To your shadow that follows Wherever I go.
Divorced, Beloved, From your doubt that hunts and haunts Wherever I hide.
β-
One very long chat decorated a night. A childhood friend did sharing about what she had experienced when we were away for about 10 years, busy with our own life. This is her promise to tell the full story after giving hints and looking puzzled when meeting me.
She married thrice. First husband died of illness. Second abused and cheated her and so they divorced. Third one, this one has brought a lot of stories and enlightenment.
How she finally decided the third after the traumatic second has strengthened about my own lesson in life – acceptance. How she lets a seemingly perfect person be with her imperfect figure does add amazement about one of my loyalist. How she ignores words and stares from people disapproving her behaviours has told me she is still girl going foraging in the wild with me in our lively early age.
She hit me with some bitter comments about my complicated points. She ridiculed me for being so guarding and distant from risking broken heart to happen. She also highlighted how her love transforms to friendship that I would have not believed can happen to her – she is not a βfriendship-friendlyβ type of person, she is a snapping turtle π
There are things she has regretted about all 3 decisions but the regret has brought her to a final realisation that her life has shaped her into a composed, mature woman strong yet flexible enough to be beautifully bent by the hardship of life. The pain pays off, she said. What a beautiful creature my dear friend is! πππ
This weekend has given me another package of lessons from our childhood. A blast from the past!
Weekend is still long. Iβd better have more fun!
May all beings be happy! ππΌ
the commitment on paper needs realisation in 3 dimension reality with soul and trust – red torii in progress
Good night, Beloved, They slow down even the trains. But times, it moves right.
β-
One friend said βSome people show their sweet side when they need me, I just knew they laughed at me behind my back and said how stupid Iβve been for (she mentioned one big social contribution she made). Do you think I should stop being kind to people?β
Another friend said βNo. why stop? There is karma so youβd better do good deed. Your good actions will be repaid with good reactions. Believe it.β This one is also very kind.
Another one said βThis life doesnβt owe you anything. So how much ever you spend, it will not be paid back. You will not be repaid 10 points just because you donate 1 point. Look! How much have you lost, just like that? No one gives you 10 times the amount, right? What karma? Whose karma? Youβd better do whatβs the best for your benefits and without harming others.β She is the most critical.
The other friend said βit should be balanced. You do good things and donβt forget doing bad things.β π€ Gosh she is always the most confusing.
I said βIβm hungry. Letβs go dinner. Our brain needs to slow down.β Those three stopped arguing.
Night is always good for a chat with some friends whose heads contain different things whose heart is of one intension β to respect friendship.
Salaam. β₯οΈ
two trains to/from opposite directions of the same line, Red Line
Sometimes Iβm somebody At a conference room Where win-win Isnβt always a solution. Powerfulβ Decisiveβ
Sometimes Iβm anybody When long lost friends Suddenly say hi and cry βWould you please help? Would you help?β Unconditionalβ Usedβ
Sometimes Iβm everybody When I blindly devote myself, When I wholeheartedly do everything needed, When I run around everywhere to find you. Preoccupiedβ Stand-aloneβ
Sometimes Iβm nobody When I feel my heart beats, My breath slows down with calmness, When I know nobody is with me. Blissfulβ Submissiveβ
Thanks, my body. Youβre a complete gift to me.
I dedicate the above free verse to Emily Dickinson who has touched my life with many of her poems especially βIβm Nobody! Who are you?β
π£
Salaam.
this poem was introduced by Ibu Siti Parwati Soemarto, our lecturer who always challenged her students to bravely see who we truly are – 28 years ago! damn Iβm an old nobody! how bitterly fair life is! Terima kasih, Ibu Soemarto. π
They live in the mud. Flowers wanted. Story not, Real beauty thatβs missedβ
β
Dark and bright, two limits that often corrupt my perception of facts and so affect many plans. In fact both bring different strengths supplementally support my life.
What is it about? Oh, it is just about that night ride is cool and serene, morning ride is colourful and fresh.
In the dark I hear more; when itβs bright., I see more.
Hey! Riding morning makes skin darker! Damn right! πΏ
Salaam.
the blooming happiness along my normal route of fun this morningtheyβre all resting buds last eveningmostly living in cluster, colourful same colour clustertwo of themliving at the edgesoloisolated duosupporting systemhiddensome can see their reflection on the water, some not π
Go jazz, Beloved Improvise on your own path Where hidden seeds grow.
β-
Jazz is like secret love, confusing and almost unknown at the first catch but wrapped in harmony through timeβ¦ and space? Seems space never takes my side. π
Jazz each day up!
βοΈ
Java Jazz is on – wish I were it π·πΊto a secret love across the ocean βοΈ
A smile, Beloved, Not to or for. Itβs just there, A ready bounty.
β
All the lyrics and the music β lyrics were recited, music was listened to. Those lyrics and music were so beautiful that they invited the best smile of the day. A smile that appeared like a good shape coming out of a foggy morning in the moorland. Until some reality struck, telling that those were directed more to a head than a heart, and to somewhere else.
Uh oh!
Well! A smile must still be kept. It is a grace, an alms, a bounty, a gift, a bonus, an appreciation; or from hidden wisdom formed through sedimentation of things annoyed yet forgiven. Or probably a smile is a package of lyrics and music β sweetly flowing. Aaah! Must be appreciated!
Put a best smile on the face and world will smile, too.
May all beings be happy.
π
because I know any news is worth smiling – bitter or sweet
A wise teacher said: If you have a space for shelter, A plate of rice for meal, A job for a living; Thatβs when youβre blessed.
I couldnβt say a word To deny.
Itβs true And Only true.
β-
Enjoy!
todayβs spread π₯° – less than last year, not much time to cook π£specialty for Lebaran – opor π₯° minus fried shallot that makes it less special to me ππ not the biggest fan of beef, but this one is super goodwant moreβ£οΈππ₯³
I learn Life is about counting gates of moments. Itβs not what I celebrate, Itβs how I celebrate. They call it this, I call it that, Itβs a day dyed with red, blue, yellow Yet Really the day wonβt describe its own color when asked.
One more day to celebrate!
β-
Itβs not unusual Ramadhan is closed on different days by different groups of Muslim esp. in big country like Indonesia. One group may close Ramadhan on 29th day, the other on 30th. Itβs not a big deal (although some noisy people like to debate about it) but itβs not simple things to explain. Overall the difference is due to 2 different methods of seeing the crescent moon visibility in the horizon – one group is using mathematical astronomy (computation), the other physical observation (telescope).
This year most of my family in Indonesia celebrated the Eid yesterday, I in Singapore today.
Without further adoβ¦.
Hari Raya Puasa = Hari Raya Idul Fitri = Lebaran = Riyaya = Baβdan = Eid Mubarak whatever they call it, it is here to be claimed and celebrated, not debated. π₯°
Celebrate moments that are given in life including this festivity. Every moment is a gate to another moment before entering the next gate of moment. After entering Ramadhan gate, now Syawal gate, whatβs next? Any should be simply a gate to start or to restart or to continue.
a common greeting in Eid: May Allah accept (good deeds) from us and from you.
There is a crystal clear ribbon Flying through a cavity Bringing a message About love To whom I say βThis painting is made for you from the first stroke to the last dot in the artistβs signature.β
Iβm mixing colours to find the best hue to paint you. Iβm balancing the real and unreal to find the vibe of you. Iβm panning my own work to find if this is truly a gift or stolen relic from you.
I keep these hands engraving But eyes focusing on you. All to find you.
And every second I can see myself reading another message on another ribbon: βIs this a hide-and-seek? Or simply a peek-a-boo?β
Ahh! You maybe only smile, enjoying the scene of how funny this could be.
ββββββ
wonβt stop learning how to depict whatβs in mind on physical media πΌ
Nights and days are the consequences of sun and moon fixed courses. Or is it the other way around: sun and moon fixed courses are existing due to the need of nights and days in this particular planet.
Many say day is for activities, night is for resting. I donβt deny but I have my own interpretation of activities and resting. Activity is when all my concentration is for transactional economy, resting is when my concentration is for relaxation and personal. Rest day? Of course all my rest days will become nights. π
Thanks for giving me days and nights.
May all beings be happyβ£οΈ
βkembang ganyongβ will fill the Ramadhan nights
Sometimes she doesnβt know why she feels a blissful joy. She tries her best to find a reason but seems to fail. When people ask why she looks radiant on certain day, she will just say I love the food, I love the weather, I love this, I love that β simply for courtesy with a bit of honesty compromised due to inability to give exact reason.
Perhaps the reason is because the footprints of falling in love is greater than the scars of broken heart. Alas! It might not be. Or, it might be. Come on, it might not be. Ah! Thatβs not important.
Oh? She doesnβt know. And it is ok to feel that way – blissfully joyful with unknown reason like when she is falling in love, unreasonable β her love did go to that that she never ever thought of getting on the way then suddenly gone away.
Tragic comedy! π
β£οΈ
guess why happy? the salad counter is at least 50% open! eyes canβt hide a smile π
Respect each other as all of us have become us with no choice but traveling the paths weβve agreed to sign up. Early termination doesnβt apply; life is about starting and completing whatβs written.
Jika kita lahir dan tumbuh sebagai kata-kata, saya akan selalu menggarisbawahi kamu seperti kata yang saya anggap penting, meski kamu nanti mencetak miring saya seperti kata yang tak dikenal dan asing. (part of a poem by Adimas Immanuel)
the boy, the mole, the fox and the horse – them in oneunlearn, my dearβ¦. let gomy finding me is like finding a piece of unpolished sapphire, not diamond which is too high value nor gravel which is too low – maybe itβs gonna be unpolished forever but at least I know itβs a sapphire, not diamond not gravel
I (almost) always travel alone and I love it. It is not only business trip but also travel for leisure.
My first impressive adventurous solo travel was at 12 with my red mini bike. I would bike from home to my uncleβs home in a hilly district. It was about one hour ride of 7 kilometers away excluding all the U turns of getting lost in quite rough terrain in the route. I was excited doing it though because of nieces and nephews waiting to play with and the agriculture experience to enjoy. The up-hill biking to uncleβs home was my private getaway until my little brother insisted joining.
Another impressive solo travel of mine was in Bandar Lampung where I visited elephant and rhino conservation centres. Unfortunately the sweet young me was still innocent that people thought I was welcoming them; and I got sexual-physically harassed. Lucky me to be saved by a bus driver β wherever you are (maybe you away already because you looked like 60 years old when I was 26), you are blessed, Pak Supir!
And the excitement of the first impressive solo travel and the most dangerous one have combined to be a sufficient foundation for me to be a 99% solo traveler until now.
Traveling solo, I learn and improve how to cope with life challenges: languages, culture, human behaviour, security, etc. Yet I can enjoy the trips as I wish without having to wait for others moving slower or having to be dragged by others moving faster. It is almost always about excitement, freedom and privacy!
The bravest trip of mine was to Bangladesh in 2011. Plane touched down at 12am. Taxi waited in a corner that will be considered dangerous spot by any normal women on earth. Hotel was totally different from what was described online. Food was a bit below my hygiene par but I had to show my respect by eating with (fake) happy look! Yet I was truly happy to meet 3 new friends who hosted me with genuine hospitality (no fakey smiley like in some countries on earth I wonβt mention); they brought me to city parks, mosques, slum areas, high end areas, etc in Dhaka. That was one paradoxically the happiest-saddest trip where I met the most skinny dogs and poor people right in front of luxurious houses. The most teary nights ever!
My smoothest, most expensive was 20-day solo travel in Europe: expensive flights, flights between countries, 1st class trains between cities and countries, taxi rides, good hotels, accessible public facilities, drinkable water free of charge!, good choices of foodβ¦. very little warm smile though. My favourite cities are still Amsterdam with so many Indonesians that warmed my soul and Madrid with so many handsome men that freshened my eyes! π
Do I still want to travel alone? YES! but not 99% anymore, maybe will be 75%. I have a small group of semi-backpacker ladies who will be best neighbours when I retire. So they might be my travel buddies when I want to share some itinerary with.
I miss traveling!!!
Next destination? I donβt knowβ¦. The virus has evolved from physical barrier to physio-socio-psycho-political block for me to move around! God bless you, dear Corona.
Happy Sunday home! Salaam. π
traveling isnβt the only way to find your true self, you can travel within instead; yet when having time and resources, do travel out of your familiar towns and cities – youβll feel different blessings! stay safe!
Sometimes a challenge or deadline is needed like fertiliser sprinkled on to the soil to trigger more chemical, biological, physical reactions from the root dancing in the ground to go deeper and healthier so that the tree grows even stronger and taller.
ι εΌ΅γγΎγγγοΌ
28-day writing challenge with some friends feels like a squid game π π΅βπ«
Trust is what sheβs been holding tight because without it sheβs lost the grip against so much magnetic force around that will pull her into a gaping hole, where greediness can consume anyone till no end.
Thanks, Beloved, for giving me a life thatβs imperfect but perfectly humbling me in many ways.
I trust You; voluntarily or forcefully.
π
a song that touches my heart like a tiny leaf falling on a placid lake π thank you
Her life, Beloved, Perfectly-directed film Ready for Oscarsβ
ββββββββββββββββ
She sometimes forgets that life is a performed script in which she is casted to act out a given role the best she can. She should follow the directorβs direction and directive.
What about spectators? She should ignore spectators. Spectators are stars whose job is to see and comment on the film. And they pay for what they see and comment. The payment goes to the stars!
So, dear Star. Fix your moves. Better your expression. Tag your ears with the melody. Live in harmony, with your own self like JavaneseBedhaya performers who are meditatively drowned in the sacred composition.
Chasing whatβs not clear and uncertain was an exciting thing for the hot-blooded. Dark, shadowy picture of what she once imagined has started fading away. The moonβs shift is over.
Walking in this forest, the leaves has rekindled her faith that rain is paying a short visit. When the rain stops, she will again realise that her heart is always enveloped in the warmth of clarity.
Sunbeam always opens a new chapter in which sunshine will take over whatβs mysterious and frightening. Light will help her eyes see things the way they are, no assumption, no prejudice. It is what it is.
When she reaches the edge of the forest, she will step on a meadow where the moon is again sending shadow but this time there is no mystery anymore.
All is clear. All is well. What it takes is just counting the milestones and blessing all that are sensed.
May all beings be happy.
take the bent road or go ahead? your choice, the sun will guide you π§
rike jokanan 
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