graphs of my Universe
I’ll love
No matter what
I’ll be over anyways.
I’ll work
No matter what
I’ll be over anyways.
There is me
Or not,
It might be the same.
Yet as long as there is me,
I’ll do what I can
To add more
Meanings
And
Utility
To my life.
I’ll love
No matter what
In life.
Life is good,
I won’t skip
A thank
And
Or
Cheers.
—
listen to love; it is everywhere 💕
Bring me takeaway,
A souvenir that reminds
Meaning of a road.
—
The biggest takeaway of my recent Tapa Brata:
a silver bangle of ANICCA
About ANICCA
May 5 is today.
This is my second Tapa Brata and both of them are special. My first in 2018 was special because Pak Merta Ada’s teacher (Merta Ada is my health meditation teacher) a Buddhist high priest visited his retreat center and gave us blessings. This second one is because we found that May 5 is his birthday! He was born on May 5, 1957 — a long journey of a meditation teacher and healer.
Someone is also celebrating his birthday across the ocean. May 5 becomes more special today this time. A journey of a silent traveler.
Happy birthday Pak Merta and dear KU. Both of you have a special place in my heart.
For Pak Merta, we immediately prepared a green sarung rangrang. For KU I thoughtfully prepared a poem.
—-
Alone the bird flies
From a nest on a tall tree
It knows where home is.
🙏🏼
May 5 2023 is when the biggest moon rises this year; Waisak (Vesak) is already celebrated in some countries (on May 6 in other countries) — my meditation teacher is celebrating his birthday, another life teacher of mine is celebrating his
an “emergency” birthday present for Pak Merta Ada from our class, wrapped in a beautiful fancy paper from the nearest small shop nearby to wrap a sarung rangrang I originally bought for my additional spread and table cloth — what a beautiful togetherness in this meditation class 💝
Sky invites me
To swarm around a show
That is glistened with colours
In a Saturday night.
Rain almost falls
But is held until the show ends
Simply to tell me
You are welcome.
These steps walk me
To where blessings are.
These breaths inhale me
To where peace is.
Among the crowd I find a calmness
With my own self I find merriness
All is well
All is good
I enjoy Saturday night in Central Ubud.
i normally stay rather far from city center of Ubud but this one night i wanted to stay in the city where dance performances are located in many different spots — this is the side gate of Puri Saraswati Dijiwa Ubud opening to the lotus garden
tonight’s performance in lotus garden was Tari Janger (janger dance), maybe next time 🙏🏼
i wanted to watch Legong Dance performance so i walked to Pura Saren Ubud which was 200 meters away from where i stayed
was the first to enter to get a seat in the 1st row and later found it was not at all the 1st row 😂
seeing the preps is already exciting!
musicians were getting ready
Tari Pendet (welcoming dance) — i learnt this dance as a child, felt like wanted to laugh remembering how funny i was dancing with my sister 😂
Tari Topeng #1 — sorry i don’t know the name; watching with many types of spectators whose joy might be over the limit and blocks others’ view 😂
Tari Legong – the primary show 👏🏼
Tari Legong — i wanted to watch this simply because i have a sleeping gown with legong dancer on it 😀
Tari Oleg Tamulilingan
Tari Kupu-Kupu (butterfly dance) inserted as part of Oleg Tamulilingan
Tari Oleg Tamulilingan (dancing bees)
Tari Oleg Tamulilingan (dancing bee)
Tari Topeng #2 — sorry i don’t know the name
we didn’t know who was behind the mask but he did perform so well and we enjoyed it 💝
thanks for the show! 🙏🏼 happiness is an ambiance shareable with those we don’t know and we probably don’t care to know — God bless all 💝
All cuts and bruises
Paint a life of a blossom
Before it decays.
—
i was so young and innocent, a loved friend of many, a hated enemy of some — i was so much blessed 💝
life has brought me travel through labyrinth of life with traps and turns that cut and torture yet i am still a loved friend of many, a hated enemy of some — i am still so much blessed with cuts and bruises 💝 i’ve lost much but i find myself
no one shall erase this happy girl within — a blessed soul that travels through space and time 🙏🏼 thank you
One or at least one at a time 💝
You!
Breathing the same air
Under the same sun and moon,
All pray for good days.
—
Sharing is not only about self satisfaction and social support, it is also about gauging how much I dare to let go of what heavy and significant. Trust me giving will not make you poor.
This monthly food sharing is about Ramadhan odd night and night of revelation (lailatul qadar).
Salaam.
💝
When a lady goes,
Two dogs race with her, saying
See you again, friend!
—-
Completing the mosque night in Jakarta, I hopped to the next island. I have a holiday in lieu as I was working outside Singapore in its public holiday so why not meeting my friend in Bali to spend my Monday?
This good friend is a Buddhist, a devoted pupil of Dalai Lama. She has met him four times in person in Dharamshala. So it is a good thing to discuss about the news circulated about him; the sooner, the better for me to clear my hazy mind.
I explained to her my understanding about sexual harassment and abuse and the video that has made what might be called framing or true case depending on what brings to whom. She listened to me patiently. Then she explained to me quite long and clear about the Tibetan culture of “tongue eating” not “tongue sucking” and mostly about what kind of person Dalai Lama whom she has met and shaken hand with. She also asked me to watch the complete video, not only some part of it so I can build clearer context.
We had a long talk. Based on the chat l decided to delete my posting about Dalai Lama, not because I totally agree with my friend but simply because I don’t want to make things more unclear. Resting my case—
Waiting doe my flight with a light heart—
Salaam.
Pablo Picasso and Salvador Dali, my friend’s dogs
Sleeping under dome,
Reciting signs of wisdom,
Ramadhan odd night
—-
Some friends of mine and I stayed overnight in Istiqlal Mosque on Apr 15 (25th night of Ramadhan) to focus on “sleep less, pray more”. We did much earlier as high schooler when we stayed overnight at school in 2 Ramadhan nights to sleep less and pray more to gain lailatur qadar that my friends and I believe is special night to reveal truth within our own selves.
This very time in Istiqlal 3 things were emphasised by some teachers to all of us.
Thousands of muslims stayed in the mosque and we didn’t know each other, we just followed the scheduled activities mostly in silence or very casual salaam except talking in low voice to few friends going together as groups.
Thanks for giving me one night to sleep less and pray more.
💝
with girl friends in senior high school class — me with 2 besties 💝💝💝 night for (crazy) youngsters
Ramadhan Odd Night in Istiqlal Mosque, me and 2 good friends slept under the 3rd pillar in the female chamber (left side of the hall), there is partition between male and female chambers — felt like staring hundreds of star clusters 💝
Is there a space
For happiness in an angry man’s belly?
Simple joy can cure hunger.
It draws smiles.
It brews laughter.
It dampens dry heart.
It cheers up weary soul.
Is there a space
For unhappiness in an angry man’s belly?
If he knows joy is as simple as
A pattern on matcha latte,
He should say “Sorry for breaking your heart,
But loving myself is a priority”.
Simple joy is not that simple
For those knowing no simplicity.
—
we asked the barista in our office to draw flower on on the matcha latte but he said it was too difficult “this time this lah, flower needs more training haha…. sorry ya” 😁 thank you, that is pretty, too
No billowing smoke
Of incense she’s whispering
Melodies that free.
—-
i prayed that all that i love are happy and healthy wherever they are 🙏🏼
i prayed that their soul is reborn free and dedicated to humanity wherever they both are 🙏🏼
Standing in front of you,
I see love.
It is clearly reflected—
A face of mine smiling at itself.
When you look at this mirror,
What do you see?
I wish you know
You are love reflected by a clear mirror.
I wish you see
This water clearly reflects you,
A love that exudes fragrance.
—-
a pond behind Himeji Castle 🏯 i could breathe drizzles and pine freshness while seeing a school of fish swimming in clear water reflecting acceptance
The longing has gone
Too far left by trueness.
No plate is prepared,
No wish is grown,
No intelligence is to decipher message
As heart is numb by laughter
And ridicule.
No number symbolises,
No alphabet pronounces,
All are faded away.
There’s only mine on its way.
Dandelion,
Bring it fly
To where it roots beauty,
Peace and eternity.
Only love remains
For the journey
That appreciates
Not a point
That fades away.
—-
i’ve met dandelions in many different spots; all of them are blooming new dreams, totally new, leaving the blur ones — prayer heard and soon coming true 💝
Is life abundant?
She asked.
They said,
When you have everything.
She walked away,
There was never everything
In imperfection.
She says.
Life is generous.
They say,
Because you have everything.
She walks away,
There is never perfection
In everything.
Life is abundant,
She agrees.
They ask,
Do you have everything? You are not perfect.
She walks away,
There is always perfection
In anything imperfect.
—-
anger has long gone but sadness is still lingering like a hungry fox hunting a chicken 🙃 yet life is so generous to me offering sweet imperfection and simplest perfection that might be just a dream for those perfect perfection — so thank you as always! 💝
giving myself time and space to live again 💝
Where is sun when sets?
Where is moon in the day light?
They share love through time.
—
Interaction is about reciprocity; even when we are alone, we are interacting with some tool of life or with the deep self within.
When it is not reciprocated, interaction is not genuinely true.
Salaam.
a grandma with her grandson
a mother with her son
family gathering
feeding two grandsons
let’s climb!
hi, dove! said the little boy
what’s in the water? said he
bubbles!!!
what is that over there? ahh hope! ☺️
am i your headache? no, you are my universe 😂
don’t move, just smile! someone is taking our picture ☺️
she is asking her cam to see what she sees 🙏🏼
our daughter is playing, i am sitting near her
hey! clear up! i am gonna land!
electrocution my a**! 😁
Every weekend
This heart multiplies.
They wander
Everywhere
Through music, pictures, poems and prayers
Sending peace
And love
That might not be
Returned.
What a sweet weekend!
—-
although you’ve targeted me with uncertainty, (pic: Banksy’s)
although you prefer war (pic: Banksy’s)
although you ignorantly hijack the love, (pic: Banksy’s)
sweet heart is still what you deserve,
no missile but beautiful heart should be sent to you (pic: Banksy’s)
freshened and showered with warm heart is your right
at the end a bunch of flowers will be thrown to you (pic: Banksy’s)
hahahaha…. i am always laughed by my best friends for constantly being “love sick” (pic: Banksy’s)
The sun rises, sets
At two ends to tell the time
To the open eyes.
—
I always become guilty when my nieces say they want to be like me after breaking up romantically. They might think being single is the best choice in that situation, which is true yet nothing is permanent. Don’t be too sure about what you think, that’s what I always tell those young ladies.
The wedding of my niece recently was truly one miracle to witness after so long she thought she would not trust marriage institution. She finally trusts a man, a lucky one as much as my niece is lucky to be married by that funny guy! 💝
Behind the wedding scene one of my nieces approached me and asked me questions and here is the interestingly funny abridged conversation.
N: Auntie, you still hope to get married?
Me: You?
N: You know what happened. I believe mother told you. She said to me you disagreed with my decision.
Me: Of course. You are young. No reason to not getting married.
N: You? Tell me.
Me: I am slightly different.
N: Old?
Me: Yes.
N: Are you abnormal?
Me: Like what?
N: Homosexual.
Me: No.
N: You hate men?
Me: No
N: You are afraid of being poor?
Me: I am not. But I won’t want to be poor.
N: So what makes you single for so long?
Me: The same as you.
N: Trust?
Me: Yes.
N: Do you think I can get my trust back faster than you?
Me: Yes. Look at Dan. It took her only some years to finally getting married.
N: I hope I can.
Me: When you still talk about hope, it means you will get it.
N: But I hope you get married first before I do. Please…
Me: I hope….
N: (she smiled and went to fetch some snack)
Sometimes you’ve gotta show your beloved how much hope you have to make them keep hoping for the best. To me although I have to pretend…. 😝
N: (she got back with some snack on a plate) Do you really hope? It’s been 16 years!
Me: 😂
—
Catch my dreams, my love
The ones I could not.
Share the joy, my love
The one I would enjoy.
Let’s smile together
At the road we’ve taken.
You might have missed some dreams
Caught by your beloved around.
We’re dream catchers
Catching the ones
Delivered by the brightest fireflies.
Happy for good
Joyful forever.
—
Waiting for you, Love.
Each day, extra affection.
What a devotion.
—
I said to angels
Near me,”Tell my love there’s love
In your flapping wings”.
—
I was about to send some pictures containing angel numbers (twin/repeated numbers) to a friend who has been in love with especially 333, 3333, 33333 and all the repeated angel number 3 when realising that that friend was not in the list. Where was she? Maybe she unfollowed me? But why?
When checking in other friends’ lists this person was not there either, both in follower and following ones. Ahhh! Maybe she was deactivating herself?
As I don’t have her mobile number, I checked it with her best friend and he said “Yes, she has done it now and then. You don’t realise sometimes your list shortens? It might be her.”
Ahhh! Ok, ok…. 😊
She’s not lucky. The photos with her angel number are now for you all. 🙏🏼
Salaam.
Lessons? Things unknown,
Still unknown, maybe won’t be,
Solved with acceptance—
—
Oftentimes people make the biggest mistake because they are young, because they are stupid or because they are not clear of what they aim at in life. At least that is what my core circle has agreed.
Many people reject to go for health check earlier only to find that they have really bad health problems too late to manage through life style change— too old or too weak and can only be managed through surgery and/or medication. This happens a lot around me. They would say “I am ok. I am healthy. No symptoms. It is just light headache. It is just small numb. It is just light coughing. It will get better soon. Blahblahblah.” And boom! Big troubles come (almost) late!
Do health check without waiting for intense symptoms. Don’t underestimate a pinch as it can be a punch.
Many people think buying property can be done at later age. They prefer buying cars, branded stuff, etc for the sake of high prestige. They would say “I want to enjoy my single life. I still can live with my parents. Why so hurry? My spouse will buy it for me later. Blahblablah.” And boom! Property price soars high in just some years and those branded stuff investment can’t cover the desired property.
Prioritise property (although at the same time some fancy stuff can’t wait). Of course this is not applicable to the haves who can buy whatever they want.
Certain people overshare for the sake of feeling guilty and trying to explain excessively. I am one of them— once tried to explain why and why just because I was afraid of being judged. And so I shared something that I promised to myself would keep it for VVIP circle of mine. And boom! The humiliation and disrespect that came back to me has made me feel like a biggest moron and worthless in the universe. It is taking time to accept the total stupidity about (blind) love.
Don’t overthink. Don’t overshare even with someone that you love the most if there is no clear foundation.
Aaaahhh!
Life is a school whose next classes can only be entered through a bunch of lessons learnt because of failures and wrong doings which look unforgivable but actually truly forgivable. 😘
There is no right or wrong. What is there is only acceptance and lessons learnt.
Salaam.
—-
One by one they fall,
Petals decompose to soil,
Fertilising life—
—
Time is a fortress
Protecting from memories
Of love that once bloomed.
—
Colours, hues, shades, tints
In a garden strike the eyes
Wandering within.
—
I am on an emergency short leave to visit my mother as my mother is sick. A sister called saying “she doesn’t want to eat”, “she can’t sleep well”, “she doesn’t want to visit her doctor”, “she thinks it is her time”, blahblahblah…. Alamak! Although sometimes we think she can be a drama queen, we start to think seriously when she can’t sleep well.
The second day of my visit she already watered her plants that line along my sister’s narrow garden. She sang along while walking in her house. She ate one big chunk of fast food’s fried chicken that my nephews insisted taken away for her. She has been back to her nature after meeting her children and grandchildren whom she missed who are now laughing with her at every breakfast, lunch and dinner time.
This morning she happily greeted the newspaper lady delivering her favourite “Jawa Pos”, the lady said “good morning, Ibu, you look radiant again”. She also had a short chat with her front neighbour about rain, cats and plants.
I think sometimes you just need to meet someone to be healthy. 💗
Yesterday morning I joined her watering the plants and took pictures of some of the blooms that have always made us all smile.
Salaam.
This corner is quiter,
Sitting on a placid lake,
Where still water
Hides a huge secret
Called love,
Is covered with a vast blanket
Called peace.
This corner is cozy,
Getting warmer and calmer,
Where a cat
Curls in a bed
Called dream,
Is lullabied with long slumber
Called hope.
How peaceful it is
Pampered with a life
Called humble.
Salaam.
—
It is easy to say “that I should love all”; yet it is not that easy as to finally love easily in life as it takes a long process, including to understand what love is, how to express the love, to whom I should express it, how much love I should share, etc before it becomes my commitment to love.
To me everyday is love day, no matter how much love I can feel flowing in my veins. Today several love wishes came from some friends. Good to share with more people.
💕
—-
It might not be clear
As the mirror is not clean.
Reflection of
You on me
Is as clear as the song sung by the breeze,
Whistling softly
On to these eardrums.
Swoosh!
You whisper,
I could hear,
We both share unvoiced laughter.
Is that our smiles
Or grins
That we both share from miles away?
You
Are playing so well,
I
Stay hugging this heart
That shrinks with
Your coldness,
That shines with
Your old shadow.
Dear, heart.
Stay flawless mirror.
With you I see
Beloved.
Be it beast or beauty,
My love is worth reflecting clearly.
—
💗🎼
—
Aku ini adalah dirimu
Cinta ini adalah cintamu
Aku ini adalah dirimu
Jiwa ini adalah jiwamu
Rindu ini adalah rindumu
Darah ini adalah darahmu
Tak ada yang lain selain dirimu
Yang selalu kupuja
Wo uh wo
Ku sebut namamu
Di setiap hembusan napasku
Kusebut namamu
Kusebut namamu
Dengan tanganmu aku menyentuh
Dengan kakimu aku berjalan
Dengan matamu ku memandang
Dengan telingamu ku mendengar
Dengan lidahmu aku bicara
Dengan hatimu aku merasa
Tak ada yang lain selain dirimu
Yang selalu kupuja
Wo uh wo
Ku sebut namamu
Di setiap hembusan napasku
Kusebut namamu
Kusebut namamu
Tak ada yang lain selain dirimu
Yang selalu kupuja
Wo uh wo
Ku sebut namamu
Di setiap hembusan napasku
Kusebut namamu
Kusebut namamu
Floating and flowing
As is. Stones and whirls push her
To the sea of love.
—
What is love day?
A day when love is precious?
Only once a year?
How stingy human being is!
To express love only on that day—
Maybe they are afraid
Of saying love to
That they love dearly.
Maybe expression is
Embarrassing and too low
That they dump it cruelly.
Maybe love is considered a myth
Scientifically unproven
That it is skipped.
Maybe….
So much maybe.
I will still love
You
In silence
As
Love has made my heart pretty
Although rejection and ignorance
Once made it ugly.
All days are my love days.
To my
Beloved—
—
rike jokanan 
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