Mood – rike jokanan

Why Love Poem #2

What do I have to write about
You today?
My pen doesn't want to move, she said "The poem about him is like a blinking tiny beacon afar, signing on and off. Hard to read."

What do I have to feel about
You today?
My heart doesn't want to move, she said "The poem about him is like a flickering will of wisps swaying weakly. Hard to follow."

What do I have to believe about
You today?
My mind doesn't want to continue explaining, she said "The poem should be a prose that will take so much time to complete. Hard to describe."

What do I have to accept about
You today?
My soul doesn't give any sign but smiling, she said "The power is not what you need. Only love suits your journey. If not love, let go. Hard to digest."

What do I have to let go about
You, Today?
My life doesn't want to stop laughing, she said "Laugh when gaslighted. Smile when gaslighted. Look when gaslighted. Never strike
back. Stay or walk away. Peacefully. Not as hard as thought or felt or believed or planned."

I stay in the same plane to keep walking with my love poems for you, Today.

life is an opera, the most illogical and grandest one at times

How long do you think I write one poem? Less than one minute up to as long as 20 minutes.

I never use AI. Never and probably will never except using AI is the only way for me to live.

My poem is always about what happens to me or at me. It is always about what I love or not love. Is it always about love? Yes, because the only relevant thing to life is love: it can be romantic love, platonic love, family love, friendship love, dedication to work, compassion, self love, love to Love.

I feel it so flowing when I write love poem, it takes me snap of fingers to make it happen. When I am stressed after some meeting, I will type a haiku. When I am in the aeroplane sleepless, I will usually write love poem in my small book. Writing poem is never a distraction, it is a motivation to get fresher and braver and to perform better.

One more thing: the depth of the poem not only depends on my mood and calmness but also the mood and calmness of the subject recited in the poem. It would be so much calmness when I write about my little brother; much bravery about my sister, much fun about my older brother. My early poems in 2008 up to 2012 is full with expression of depression, around 2014 to 2017’s is energizing energy, 2019’s is liberation and blessings to forward movement. And 2024’s poems feel a bit heavy with a feel of being played around but still flowing rather heavily on positivity.

I kind of enjoy the altered energy everytime the writing of poem involves different stories and objects; so much enlightening inside and giving energy to keep the faith in this silent journey within.

Specifically past 3 months I’ve felt big energy of gaslighting and game playing. I am just observing and doing best to evaluate whether it is what’s inside me projecting my own despair or reflecting a despair from outside me.

No matter what, love poem is still my preferrence.

Early morning letter to self

Colouring Days

Learning, Map It!, Poetic

Colours adorn day—
Connect it to a mood which
Is the token. Not?

—

Flowers can give positive vibes in the room and even in the house. Working from home takes more effort to stay vibrant as for at least 8 hours some employees won’t be in “real contact” with other human beings; online platform can’t fully accommodate the actual need of interaction among human beings.

One of my colleagues in China who has the same interest in flower with me sometimes sends pictures of her today’s flower display. Last week she sent white peony. She knows I really really really want to have peony, which isn’t available in Singapore.

To some ladies flower is a medicine, curing some disturbed moods.

May all beings be happy.

About Flowers

Poetic

What about flowers?
Colours, fragrance, shapes, and mood
Wrapped in a prayer.

Singapore – November 20, 2020 / 00:10

Bengawan Solo – favourite

Learning

This song is one of those in my top rack! Nothing can beat Bengawan Solo. God bless you, Pak Gesang.

When a baby is born, s/he is “accompanied” by placenta. In Javanese culture the placenta should be either buried in the home where the baby will stay in his/her first 40 days or floated to the sacred river, both with sacred small ceremony. Mine was floated (larung in local language) in Bengawan Solo, the longest river in beloved Java island. If you Google “Bengawan Solo”, you’ll find a Singaporean bakery – hell yeah! Not making me much happy as that phrase has lost its authenticity. I’m not so upset though as at least I have a favourite place to buy “traditional Javanese cakes” (some claimed as Peranakan though – never mind anyone can claim anything with power) at the same time relating it to my favourite song and where “my brother placenta” was floated.

I miss the land where I can smile to anyone without being called weird…. My dear Java island.

I found some versions hitting the mood so damn gracefully! Enjoy.

May you all be happy.

Layers of Self – verses

Learning, Poetic, This Person, Those People

There is time when Mr Grey is reluctant to evaluate others’
Actions,
Motions,
Emotions,
Notions—
For as much as the head’s dullness, true colours won’t lie
And untrue intentions will reveal.

In the mode of working class,
Putting layered of dignified masks in silence,
Enchanting intelligent chorus in public,
Smirking in the dark.
Beloved dedication
Decorated with
Stabbing behind—
….

Doesn’t it matter?
No—
Take a time
As long as Time wishes to be with you:
Hiding behind true Smile,
Singing in the Heart,
Reciting poems in the Soul.

Someday
When the floor invites you to dance,
Offering the best music of Life,
Then down to the floor!

Dance until the Light fades away
Which is never.

Now
Observe all the moves
Of the masks around you
Which will undo themselves

One by one.

May all beings be happy.

Singapore – Jun. 9, 2020 / 21:58

Some Dream Grow So Fast- haiku

Learning, Poetic

Some dream grow so fast,
Move on a lane full of pain–
Like a lil bamboo?

Singapore – Jun. 6, 2020 / 11:19

It Says Thanks To You – haiku

Learning, Poetic, This Person

It says thanks to you
For showing true and untrue
Through this emotion.

Singapore – Jun. 1, 2020 / 22:15

—
Realising that a gift is not merely about a special thing wrapped beautifully but more about the true among the untrue is a gift itself. No matter how it feels inside until now, I still thank you.

What a beautiful Life!

May all beings be happy….

Rendang for Eid – my mood

Learning

What is one of the most delicious food in the world?

Rendang!

People think it is of Malaysia original. NO, it is not. It is originally an Indonesian food, more exactly from Padang, a place situated in Sumatera. Is it that important to debate where food is coming from? Not at all…. Yet I think I would be gracefully proud to tell people that I’m successful to cook one of the most delicious food from my own country rather than that from neighbouring country.

I present this rendang to all Muslim wherever you are…. Eid Mubarak!

All my cooking is always started with “Browse the Net, dear Self!”

392F9816-218F-4FC6-9B64-61159306A1FE — The list of treasure is found in the Net…. Guess what they are.

Let me boast my knowledge about spices and the rest of the “squad”: nutmeg (powder), turmeric leaf, cumin seed, coriander seed, cloves, lemongrass (I love this piece), tamarind, ginger, galangal, kefir lime leaves, red chilli (small and big ones), shallot, garlic, coconut milk (instant though).

6270C3F4-A2DD-4283-8883-A73B65F79C34 — I was a “chilli queen” but by time I’m afraid of the burning taste on my tongue. So let’s get rid of the seeds and use only the peels.

A50B669D-2C1B-41F2-92B5-F1B096FA87FC — Grind!

I normally use traditional stone pestle and mortar but this high quantity of herbs will hurt my hands so allow me to use the food processor. Such a sin haha

1841CC60-6719-4225-9268-B162152145D1 — Almost one kilogram of beef – not the AA grade, just a good one

D769DE1D-2351-4BDB-BADA-CA972ADC6557 — Boil all together!

5EEFC689-7202-4BED-9B6B-5351699B1642 — Oh no! The pot is too small, coconut milk should be poured into it in three stages. Be patient, dear Self….

839CD1F1-E5B0-492D-9F1C-DC634C62BFA9 — After one hour on the fire – oh my

D0419C68-5E4A-42DF-801F-0FD1940115BA — After one and a half hour – it gets oily, almost ready

8A6CF632-E6D7-4830-AB1C-83DE1DA63AD7 — Done in almost 3 hours (browsing the Net not included)

My rendang is accompanying me in this Eid — no home country visiting this year, no gathering in the Embassy, no friends will be visiting due to the Gov policy of social distancing. It is fine. Hope this pandemic is over immediately and leaving good memory for the rest of my life….

May all beings be happy….

Singapore – May 23, 2020 / 12:08am