Life's, Beloved
Adorned with perfect senses
To find your beauty.
Adorned
Tag: poet
Whatever You Say, It’s My Day
Whatever you say, Beloved,
It's my day.
I've built it through seconds, minutes, hours.
Just because others use extended brain,
Doesn't mean I will.
I live my true life
Even without a perfect "1100100" score given.
Whatever you say, Beloved,
It's my day.
no artificial intelligence is involved in my writing process except if my brain is considered one
using AI in my thinking and writing process is haram π€
haram is not related to any religion standpoint, it simply means i will never use it until professionally mandated in my work which i believe will not happen — will never use it for my poem and ranting of mine
πΊ
Falling In Love
I asked myself about
Falling in love.
My brain said
Falling in love is scary.
I could not concentrate,
I dropped what I carried,
These tears came down miserably,
Dizzy, oh dizzy!
My heart said
Falling in love is beautiful.
I could imagine what was best,
I shared what I carried,
These tears came down happily,
Pretty, oh pretty!
My soul said
Falling in love is magical.
I could think beyond what was,
I multiplied what I carried to share,
These tears came down with no reason,
Willingly, oh willingly!
Someone said
Falling in love is inevitable.
It filled me when I was hungry,
It emptied me when I was full,
Do, just do
However dizzy or pretty, do it only willingly!
I checked who was the last speaker:
Damn! My stomach was smiling in glee.
scary, beautiful, magical and inevitable
Composed
She's simply composed,
Not even shaken by storm.
Rooted to the earth--
My intuition works wonder when it comes to family esp mother, as if knowing when something wrong happens even no one informs me.
Yesterday I contacted my sister saying that mother might not be good. She said mother was ok and sleeping.
My gut said different. I contacted my cousin saying the same thing and she said “Yes, she fell and injured a bit on her chin and left hands.”
I happened to know later that my mother didn’t allow my sister to tell me about the incident.
I tried to digest the “lie” although the feeling inside was a mix of anger, disappointment, sadness, left behind at the same time relief that she was now ok.
This morning after a long meeting I called my mother. I really wanted to give her some “lecture” that she should be careful, should not do this or that and should let me know whatsoever happens to her. But I detered myself from doing so.
I know what I would say is something true but don’t want to hurt her motherly affectionate decision. I chose to accept her reason of not informing me: so my child can work with light heart.
My mother is one of the mentally strongest women I’ve known in life. None of people knowing her will say otherwise.
Once I joked around with her “Ibu, please pray that I don’t have to be as strong as you in life as when I’m as strong as you, it means I will have one most challenging of human life.”
She said “You can be stronger than me but don’t need to experience what I have in life. Trust your life.”
Yes, I do trust life will protect me from the harms.
I love you, Ibu. Thank you.
π
No Worry
Why worry?
I am here
Always.
who withers first? the flower? the lady? none, night will wither first then sun rises; the flower and the lady stay now here
Dear Life
Do you know that the road I've taken is not what I wanted?
And do you know that this is the best I've experienced?
Yes, you know.
Thank you.
Yours truly,
One humble traveler breathing your blessings
Overflown
I'm a room
Overflown with blessings.
Some visible,
Some unseen,
All undeniable--
this is where water, soil, air and fire show their potential in harmony, no collision
Garden of Eden
Eden, Beloved
Exists next to the kitchen
Where she has some fun.
A tropical garden is a kind of lush garden I want to see when washing the dishes. I am looking forward to it with the help from our tropical gardener– we can find them easily in Indonesia.
But it will be done after the Japanese garden. Right now the spot is still packed with construction material and debris. There shall be deep cleaning to ensure no left over of material in the soil and fertile soil to be added.
While the Japanese garden is restricted to inner circle, this tropical garden is where all guests can take some fresh air as long as they don’t make any harm to anyone around.
Please be patient, dear self. One at a time–
π
had to cut out the coloured part as there is some spoiled part around it
yosh! now time to complete my laundry π
the sketch that kept delayed
Private
Private's, Beloved
This ordinary one's life.
Not much to expose--
I lock my Instagram account always and it forever will be locked, only those having directly met with me can become my contacts. Does it sound arrogant? No, it is a protection — to protect myself from unfair judgement from those contacts knowing me from my words or my pictures in my curated frames; and to protect my contacts from misjudging me simply based on my curated frames– they will be able to judge me more fairly by talking to me or meeting with me first before becoming my contacts in Instagram.
My contacts are those family members and friends; not even colleagues as we believe our professional judgement might be clouded with some personal bias that is not even related to work.
I am so so sorry for being so picky (a bit irritating I know I am) but I am still willing to reply anyone’s messages.
π
What about WordPress?
It is where I am ranting and there are only 20-40 people visiting me daily and my postings are all extracted ideas in poetry that by nature can be interpreted by anyone. So anyone is welcome to visit my WordPress even without leaving a trace.
π
Release
Release, Beloved
What's wished. Let it fly to find
Its way to go home.
this fragile dandelion is my favourite plant, it reminds me to release wishes to their way home, where they materialise their best potentials
π
(picture from Pinterest)
Flowers from Banksy
Banksy,
It throws me flowers
At a silent weekend.
I'm dead.
Have a nice weekend, everyone!
Banksy’s work of art
Laughter
Laughter's, Beloved
You radiate cheerfulness,
We all count blessings.
when you laugh, the dried grass comes alive
I Can’t Yet I Can
I can't talk about
You all the time,
People will think I am crazy
Or crazy about
You.
But how can I
Stop thinking about
You, while obviously
You are everywhere
I am?
blaming why a plate seems empty but actually full of unseen material
aka
what is wanted is obvious, but there is no way — don’t blame the guest standing in front of the door, blame the host not responding to the greeting
Long Life
Long life's, Beloved
Feel the breathing one by one,
No matter how long.
eat noodle to live long? today’s dinner is shirataki noodle soup with shredded chicken breast and carrot
Without Teacher
What am I
Without teacher?
A lost wanderer
Losing destination.
What am I
Without teacher?
A confused traveler
Losing guidance
What am I
Without teacher?
A dreamer
Losing inspiration.
What am I
Without teacher?
A human
Losing meaning.
What am I
Without teacher?
A Soul
Repeating the same mistakes.
Dear
Teacher,
You are born
For me
To be reborn
As me.
I'm grateful to
You.
Today’s lunch break was about a phenomenal chat with some teachers of life.
Thousands if not millions of teachers have taught me in life. There are some that I cherish the most today, those that have triggered me to make biggest decisions in life.
Thank you, dear teachersβ£οΈ
Bapak Merta Ada, he was the one teaching me to go within without doubt, without limit – “spread love and compassion”, his advice π₯Ή
Sister Zak, my Arabic teacher — she emphasised that what we read needs to be well understood first then pondered then can be interpreted (differently) — “be a responsible interpreter of the Quran for yourself, no one to blame when you make wrong interpretation or decision“, her advice
Aaron Cass, my mentor in Beshara School who helped me open most doors of freedom of responsibly being human through his amazing knowledge and wisdom about sufism and esp about Ibn Arabi & Rumi — “from now on whatever you do differently, never make it a new religion”, his advice
Ina, a best friend from high school whose action moved my soul: she left her brilliant career (at the same time I started mine in Singapore) without new career to take care of her parents for her sense of responsibility; she took care of her mother until she passed away, now she is taking care of her father; Ina, you are beautifully blessed — “let’s exchange stupid memes and videos”, her message
dear Ibu, i won’t let anyone hurt you — “work responsibly and take care”, her every morning’s advice
Vito, my dear nephew, “i will always love you and protect you forever”, his last message before he passed
the fire warden in the mirror, “have you smiled today?” my greeting to myself
Clarity
Clarity's in you,
In the mirror in your hand.
Clean it everyday.
how can i deny how ugly i am with the mirror patched with oil and dust?
morning message from my mirror
thank you
Dear Master
Dear Master,
Fill this lake
With wisdom
To keep on
Flowing through rivers,
Permeating through earth veins
Towards
You
RC Gorman’s work of art
Pondering
What she's pondering's
A jar of water, sugar
And how lemonade's made.
life’s good as lemon for health and lemonade for drink
Sunflowers
Dear Sunflowers,
Teach me how to be so strong
To face the sun.
She said
"I'm just following
My nature. I'm dead
Without the sun."
RC Gorman’s work of art
Water War
Today
The war was cool
Under the water
With some kids
Who know
Only fun!
look at those 3 teenagers — they shot me with a water gun under the water while i was swimming; they thought i would be annoyed, i said to them “hello” when i breathed in above the water then we became friends, they moved aside when i was passing by — thank you, sweet rascals ππ
i saw they did the same to other swimmers πππ½
i think i have fewer and fewer reasons to ignore blessings in this life
A Home
A home's, Beloved
Where door's silently guarding,
Hot tea's comforting.
it is very easy for me to feel home anywhere i am as long as i see an immediate chance to be calm — i can stay in different hotels in different cities/countries with no effort as long as they are safe and clean
it answers why i don’t enjoy wandering around too long in a market place like shopping mall; i feel like the market place is moving in to me
it also answers why i feel so home in WordPress rather than in other platforms
home is where my heart can tolerate excitement
Pleased, Guilty
Pleased and guilty, love
Intertwine with her black hair,
Making some balance.
They will fall and get flushed out
When the root is weak or dried.
today’s dinner after work (from remote on Monday)
i started cooking almost all my meal in early 2020 when working from remote was applied due to the pandemic; since then i only eat out with colleagues, friends or visiting families or when i myself want to eat Japanese food (good Japanese food needs refined ingredients and high skill that can only happen in a pro place) — no one can cook my Indonesian food better than me π
i also started doing all household chores that were before done by a paid assistant
since then i don’t want to give up doing it, even if i have to stay up late i will do all by myself for self satisfaction — so pleased to be moving around at home
just yesterday my regular assistant finally requested to go back to take my weekly chores like before (since pandemic i only call her in emergency situation) — i could not say yes or no as it is not about money anymore although it is not a big expense to do (my mother will complain and say it is an act of ignorance — i’m sorry, Ibu π)
i’m still feeling guilty since i finally said no this morning, i told her that i might call her just for occasional need and include her in my meal list when i have something special in my kitchen π
i feel that giving up household chores is like giving up some part of my moving meditation
cooking, cleaning, gardening (small group of potted plants), laundry, etc give me sanctuary from routine at work — also honestly give me excuse to reject some (unnecessary) invitation from (unwanted) people
this guilt will be difficult to go away i know
but i prefer losing compliments rather than losing my sanity
π
Gringsing Bharatayudha (batik)
This battle's, dear heart
Will win you with condition:
You have the courage.
Whatsapp gave me a surprise that my batik Gringsing Bharatayudha is ready to ship; by plan it should be by November this year.
This time I don’t want it to be shipped, I’d like to collect it by myself so I can say thank you directly to the makers.
Gringsing is my favourite aside from batik nitik, kawung and parang. Gringsing reminds me how I was taken care of when I was a girl and sick — my mother would wrap me in a sheet of batik gringsing, my father would chant his mantra (I can remember what it was and will disclose it at the right time some day.) and my siblings would sleep with me in my bedroom until I was recuperated. Gringsing bears a sweet memory about my family in early period.
Bharatayudha is something familiar in our family. Our parents wanted us to be “true Javanese” who knew “the root” as a middle way because our parents held different religions; so Javanese tradition would not make them play tug of war of who would follow whom and it would not harm any of us to learn local wisdom. They bought R. A. Kosasih’s wayang comic books and other funny wayang stories of Punakawan (please allow me talk about it later). Another series that also built some of us was series of S. H. Mintarja’s “Api Di Bukit Menoreh”. We enjoyed it and shared it to other friends — we lost some books as some friends did not responsibly return the books after reading.
Long story short I grew up with Javanese and wayang wisdom before finally I decided to hold one religion as a legal requirement in our country — Indonesian must display their religion in the ID card. π I am thankful to be raised by parents of different faiths — they have taught us to respect others regardless….
Last year Ibu Tien showed me a white sheet with Gringsing Bharatayudha pattern then several months later the half done. I could not resist its charm.
There are two scenes in the batik Gringsing Bharatayudha:
1. Bhatara Kresna the King of Dwaraka on the chariot: He is the coachman of Arjuna who is fighting against Adhipati Karna whose coachman is Prabu Salya the King of Madra. Arjuna and Karna are actually brothers from one mother (Dewi Kunthi) of different fathers whose each upbringing has brought them to different partiality. Arjuna for sure is in the side of Pandhawa, Karna decides to side with Kurawa who has provided life care and social status.
Bhatara Kresna, the King of Dwaraka (the most intelligent character in wayang, the master mind of all wars in his time) used to be my idol when I was a kid before I changed my mind to idolize Semar Badranaya (one humble deity who is assigned to accompany and guide Pandhawa)
2. Bima and Dursasana: Bima is the 2nd of 5 knights of Pandhawa the antagonist of wayang world; Dursasana is the 2nd of 100 Kurawa children the protagonist. In this scene Bima is executing Dursasana to death. This symbolises ending a preserved anger through revenge. Years back Bima swears to kill Dursasana and lets his sister in law Drupadi wash her hair using Dursasana blood — by then Dursasana sexually harasses Drupadi in public when Drupadi’s husband (Yudhistira) loses on a gamble table.
Not a few consider that the Bharatayudha (the civil war between Pandhawa and Kurawa) is not really a politically-triggered war; it is allegedly the result of the wounded pride of Pandhawa and the allies after Kurawa (Dursasana as the main perpetrator under the instruction of Duryudana the King and other Kurawa brothers’ cheering support) harasses Drupadi in the gamble court.
See. Woman can be the cause of war if not treated well— treated well can mean educated well, respected, nurtured, protected, etc. Drupadi is so broken hearted due to the fact that the Pandhawa knights donot do anything to stop the shameful act of harassment and she shouts pledging to wash her hair with Dursasana’s blood — that is when Pandhawa knights get so embarassed and promises to make Kurawa pays some day.
How could a group of knights be so retardedly ignorant? From one side it is integrity, following what’s agreed (the agreement is if Yudhistira loses in the last round of gamble, he has to give up Drupadi), in the other it is cowardice.
Sometimes being good is not an option when there is underpriviledge being abused or harassed. But it is predestined: there shall be evil to bring out good and good to bring out evil — cycle of life.
Fun fact about Bharatayudha: many don’t know that after death Pandhawa representing good side are still sent to hell for punishment, Kurawa considered representing evil are given chance to stay in heaven for some time. Indeed it is not our chosen side that brings us to heaven; it is our good deed does.
What a wisdom on one sheet of batik!
looks like a violence yet it is simply a depiction of a scene in Bharatayudha so please excuse the “looking like” violence
By the way honestly I prefer circle gringsing than square ones. Yet I know Ibu Tien’s team consists of those simbah-simbah and budhe-budhe (senior citizens) whose physical strength is not anymore at prime time so making square gringsing is easier than circle one. I will usually lend them my generous excuse: some of my batik sheets are not evenly dipped and even some are not fully drawn yet I still paid them full price. However, on some batik patterns like kawung and parang I will not let Mbak Izzah miss her grip in managing the work.
Weekend cannot be sweeter with this surprise.
I miss Jogja…. π
Delima (batik)
Fruit of heaven, love
No effort to pick-- It hangs
To reach you so low.
Another batik waiting in the pipeline to be disclosed is Batik Delima or Batik Delimo. I chose it because of the colour– white is always giving soothing effect to my ageing eyes.
Delima aka delimo means pomegranate in Bahasa Indonesia, Bahasa Melayu and Javanese.
When Ibu Tien and Mbak Izzah mentioned its name (Batik Delimo), my curiosity rose as Batik Delima that I knew didn’t look like that. The delimo I knew was a “sido” cluster (ceplok) batik with delima in the center of the cluster. But they insisted that this was known as Batik Delima in Jogja.
No argument with the batik makers please, Rike.
The next was a clarification of meaning which is always the interesting part. Mbak Izzah said “I give you what I know, you improve what I know based on your repertoire of meaning. As you wish.”
To me although that statement was uttered in a very soft speech, it was a blow on my face. Jogjakartan speak their truth through subtly cynical style. They will not tell you are wrong but they will tell that “you have your way which is not mine”. Almost like Japanese– Bloody hell! I’d better prepare as my retirement plan belongs to that city. βΊοΈ
Mbak Izzah said Batik Delimo aka Delimo is about fertility.
I read some articles about pomegranate in different places and culture but I won’t include it here to avoid complication.
Pomegranate is used in one of Javanese traditional function named “tingkeban” which is a ceremony held on the 7th month of pregnancy when the fetus is considered mature enough to be called a human being. Pomegranate is one of the ingredients needed to make “rujak tingkeban” which consist of 7 kinds of fruit. Yes, Javanese is obsessed with number 7 (seven, pitu in Javanese, the short version of pitulungan that means help).
Pomegranate is added as a message that the fetus will grow strong until it is ready to be a newly born.
Those 7 kinds of fruit shall represent all taste of food: salty, sweet, sour, hot. These are to symbolise that the baby has started learning about the taste of life before her/his delivery to the world.
It is said that if the rujak tastes good, the baby will be a girl; if it tastes “not that good”, the baby will be a boy. Interesting fun (not verifiable) fact. Do I believe it? No, I believe in ultrasonography from the obgyn. π I love though believing that this tradition is loaded with conprehensive stories of what happen around human being’s life. Fabulous!
it is very refreshing, i make this rujak every now and then — one big bowl for one week
Back to Batik Delimo….
There are three elements in this batik that deserve attention: the pomegranate, the pomegranate flowers and the birds (pigeons).
The pomegranate is about fertility itself.
The pomegranate flower is about potential of fertilify that are surrounding the fruit as if waiting to continue the cycle.
Birds (pigeons) is those dwellers of pomegranate tree. They are the ones guarding the fertility.
Does it make sense? I will ask Mbak Izzah when I meet her in Jogja. I know she will just smile sweetly, saying nothing. π
This time I don’t include number in my intrepretating the batik as I am afraid Mbak Izzah will condemn me too creative. π
I know though someone intreprets delima from its linguistic aspect. Delima is transcribed as DALIMA. Dal is the 8th Arabic script (Ψ―). Lima is 5 in Javanese and Bahasa Indonesia. 5 “Ψ―” (five dals) is connected to a suurah in the Quran that has 5 “Ψ―” in its composition which is Al-Ikhlash.
Suurah Al-Ikhlash is about singularity in which human being is surenderring to the single authority in life.
So if people are interested to connect this batik to suurah Al-Ikhlash, it is possible. Yet, the story will not be about the 7th month celebration of a fetus. It might be about a fetus that is ready to worship the One.
π
I prefer Batik Delima is about fertility. More simple, more straightforward–
Thank you, Mbak Izzah! π
Batik Delimo aka Delima
pomegranate fruit, symbol of fertility
flowers of pomegranate, symbol of potential of fertility
pigeons of love, symbol of protectors of fertility
a pair of batik delima from Ibu Tien and her group – matur sembah nuwun, Ibu Tien, Simbah-Simbah and Budhe-Budhe
batik sogan never fails me, even its fragrance is a stress reliever to me
Dipped
Dip me in
Your colours
In which
Arrogance turns to
Modesty,
Selfishness turns to
Compassion,
Torrential current to
A calm flow.
Dip me in
Your colours
In which
Paintings sing
Love songs,
Music displays
Flowing curves,
Sculptures splash
Romantic hues.
Dip me in
Your colours
In which
I keep living love
With true intension
However little it is.
Never let
Your colours
Fade away from me.
Breathing Forgiveness
Good morning, morning.
Would you please lend her fresh air
To forgive the world?
please make forgiveness air that i breathe
today i learnt that i am not that forgiving
Fear & Hope
Dear, Beloved.
Thank
You
For reminding me
About being humble.
I won't
I won't
I won't
Let this self
Boast of one's self.
Please always tone me down
When I am too high.
Yours truly,
One of
Your breathed
Soul....
the first page that i continue reading from “Fihi Ma Fihi” directly slaps my ego to tone down
thank you for not giving me long time to feed my selfishness
thank you for reminding me that i still have fear to shadow my hope and ears to listen to what universe whispers
please protect those that i love the most from the imbalance between fear and hope
thank you, always
A Noise In My Head
A noise in my head
Is a noise in my stomach
And in the kitchen.
weekend is a noisy kitchen
Nicely Blur
Nicely blur, dear heart
It takes glasses to see you.
Still you're nicely blur.
What will the curtain disclose?
I wish you a full figure.
let’s call it a week, welcome home
4-day intelligence exchange on a round table just makes me want to enjoy my weekend cooking, video calling with family and friends then reading my owed books
so blur even when these eyes see things clearly — sometimes it’s nice to be blur βΊοΈ
Glued
They are clearly glued
Sailing through tides, high and low
One sweet tomorrow--
back to 2022, 2024 photo is not published as the pose is too vulgar π
we 1st met in 2013 and this friendship is lasting forever
born in different countries, nurtured in different culture, educated in different discipline, moulded in the same work culture — see you again in mid Aug, ladies!
rike jokanan 
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