A gift, Beloved Breeze bringing a good fragrance Keeping me with you.
I bought a box of gift for myself – perfume 💗
patchouli is one of my favourite fragrances, it is mostly harvested in Indonesia — there’s a documentary about how patchouli farmers are ‘exploited” for perfume industry
I’m cruelly aware that my liking to scent is making me part of the exploitation. What should I do?
It's locked, Beloved. Hiding from those not wanted, Enjoying close doors.
I put my Instagram account back to private from being public. I am not a public figure and not selling anything so why should it be in public mode?
Actually when being public, the account started getting random people following me (although I removed them right away). Not those I wish to follow me 😁
WordPress is still the best platform where I can rant about the public policy and service in my country without being questioned “why are you talking about thing you don’t know?” and whisper about my silent journey within.
Needing some time to stay submerged–
wanting my back garden door in this colour 😍 the one between Japanese garden and the back yard
One, two, Beloved, Numbers to start a journey To the zero point.
With ageing I am able to feel the surge of high energy I experienced before. With broken heart I’m so thankful that I’ve got love in this heart. With thirst I appreciate how freshness of water cures me. With the stuck in the head I become more and more familiar that flowing is the only way to love. With scarcity I can grow sense of gratitude with even just a little hope in life.
It’s you. Yes, it’s you. None other but you that makes me. None other but you that puts meaning on the word me. None other but you that moves all this life within me.
How can I be feeling so detached….
If you are the one attaching in all my senses?
If you are the one behaving with this corpse?
If you are the one drawing a circle for me to circumambulate until the two dots meet?
Lessons, Beloved Learnt! She feels tired and dumb And just wants to sleep.
I experienced an intense fun last Friday evening. I was about to check in and the machine said it could not find my name and so redirect me to the check-in counter.
Airline staff (AS): Ma’am, you are not at this flight.
Me: But I booked it.
AS: You booked it for another date?
Me: What date?
AS: October 23, 2025
Me: Oh Lord…. How would it be?
AS: (smiling, shrugging)
Me: Are there still seats for the flight?
AS: Please go to that counter and get further info, Ma’am.
Me: (heading to the ticketing counter)
Long story short, I had to buy a new ticket because I had 2 gifts to deliver to 2 people in Jakarta. I had promise to keep.
I bought a new ticket for a much more expensive price than the original one wrongly booked. Lesson learnt? Check, recheck, check, recheck….. Maybe I shouldn’t have had to book a new one. I should have decided to deliver the gifts through my friend; in fact finally I had to deliver the gifts through that friend.
It’s not easy to meet with famous people; it’s either I’m too cheap to meet them, or they are playing hard to get.
Stupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupid………..stupid enough to call myself a stupid!
Lesson learnt again? I’ve got one round ticket for October to Jakarta. Still stupid!
Your plodding footsteps Call me to keep this journey To where sunrise is.
Wherever I go as long as I’m following my honesty, I’m meeting with you.
I’ve tried denying that life is just a matter of birth to death & struggling between those two, but no life is not that indeed — pain is inevitable but suffering is optional so I prefer put always lightheartedness and useful meaning to steps of life.
One day which is today I plant my believe more deeply as I also believe that this tree of life is not only one growing for a while; this tree of life needs strong & stubborn roots to support itself to the end of universe life.
Thank you for this beautiful life, Beloved. Whatever I’ve gone through is beauty that leads me to the reality of life:
Kata guruku hati harus ringan, Harus. Kata guruku langkah harus pasti, Harus. Kata guruku badan harus rajin, Harus. Kata guruku hidup harus berserah, Harus. Susahnya! Laku kuganti guru. Ngomongnya begini: Buat apa jadi manusia kalau tidak punya hati bahagia? Kalau kerjanya bermalas-malas diombang-ambing angan-angan? Kalau kerjanya memaksa semua dengan maunya?
Duh! Berguru di mana-mana sama! Aku duduk di depan patung Dorna, Pendeta legenda, Sebagai Ekalaya aku berpura-pura.
Bambang Ekalaya (Anggraeni’s husband), most loyal male wayang to his teacher
Dewi Anggraeni (Ekalaya’s wife), most loyal female wayang to her husband
There are ways For those hiding To stay hidden. There are ways For those running To keep running. There are ways For those struggling To forever struggle. They say they do it For those they love. They claim they do it For those they care. They pledged they do it For those they respect. Is it true? Words can lie. Numbers can manipulate. Silence can cover. Yet eyes can't bury What's sliding with tears On the face of reality.
Don't lie to me Honesty saves everyone's time. I have no time To have fun If fun is your way to hide Your true face from me. Save yourself By letting go Off the masks That you wear even when alone. Let it fall off And I will stride away With a lot of pray.
Gurindam is a form of ancient poem of (old) Malay.
Gurindam 12 (twelve gurindam(s)) is a set of gurindam composed by Raja Ali Haji in 1847. Raja Ali Haji was a poet born in Pulau Penyengat, Kepulauan Riau, Indonesia in 1808. He is one of national heroes of Indonesia.
I read it back then in junior high school when comprehension was not really well obtained. I wish to fully understand this gurindam before time is up.
Saturday night, Love Keeps her radiant and calm In a place called heart.
I became hungry and decided to slice carrot, beet root and chayote for salad.
For this Saturday night’s calm vibe, I sliced shallot, chili, lemon grass and kefir lime leaves then sauté them in coconut oil added with shrimp block.
At times it's hard to deal with what's factual Yet I talk to the face in the mirror: Aren't all these present by your previous decisions? Or do you regret of taking what considered best by then?
Nothing is in vain. There's always a trail I can trace back: choices and decisions I made.
What lesson? Now don't regret. Tomorrow don't repeat the same mistakes. Yesterday is always valuable lesson. Never (again) blame others.
Is that what's truly it? Maybe just for me, not for everyone.
Life list, Beloved, Not about glory or lost. It's what truly costs.
I used to list what I wanted to do. Every year I made the list longer until I stopped as I’ve found primary list that I won’t forget to make come true.
One of them is writing my own book (I’ve written with friends in anthology books) so I’m working on it.
Another one is having a home where family and friends feel the true selves in them. My first house was but as it is located not in a preferred place, I decided to make a new one. Working on it–
Many more and I’m working on all of them.
They might come true or not as age is not predictable yet at least I’m working on all of them.
Dear Home, Welcome me With your warm heart That beats with love, And trust.
Do you know how I miss You? Your walls with my paintings, Your ceiling with the down light, Your floor with shine after vacuum, Your roof after washed by rain, Your fragrance that is me.
How are you? Are you as spacious as before installed with furniture? I won't add more. Are you serene after some music played? I won't play more. Are you bright after curtain hung? I won't put those too thick. I hope you're still a home Even after I come. Even I hope you become more homey After that.
Please know I only wanted those loving to be here But then that's not fair. So you'll see bad people around, I promise that won't be long and make sure one will only visit once, And only very few. Vibe clear! So only those with clarity want to stay long.
Please know I want fireflies to be around at night So you'll be pretty with the tiny bright dots blinking cheerfully.
Please know, dear Home That you are built now By this wandering self With a loving hope To meet You Very soon.
Dear, Home.
listening to this song this whole day; yes I can do it to any song that builds a good mood
Sal Priadi’s songs sound like romantic mantra to me especially this one
The strength is his lyrics: simple yet poetic
Lyrics
Kita usahakan rumah itu Dari depan akan tampak sederhana Tapi kebunnya luas Tanamannya mewah, megah
Kita usahakan rumah itu Dari depan akan tampak sederhana Tapi dibuat kuat Dirancang muat, lega
Urusan perabotan dan wangi-wangian Kuserahkan pada s’leramu yang lebih maju Tapi tata ruang, aku ikut pertimbangkan Kar’na kalau nanti kita punya kesibukan
Malam tetap kumpul di meja panjang Ruang makan kita Berbincang tentang hari yang panjang
Kita usahakan rumah itu Dari depan akan tampak sederhana Tapi penerangannya Diracik begitu romantis
Urusan perabotan dan wangi-wangian Kuserahkan pada s’leramu yang lebih maju Tapi tata ruang, aku ikut pertimbangkan Kar’na kalau nanti kita punya kesibukan
Malam tetap kumpul di meja panjang Ruang makan kita Berbincang tentang hari yang panjang
Boleh kamu keliling dunia Dan temukan banyak tempat-tempat ‘tuk singgah Sementara
Kamu boleh namai itu rumah Selama ada m’reka yang kamu cinta Di dalamnya
. Breathing is about circulating CO2 and O2 scientifically. Breathing is about welcome and sayonara mentally. Breathing is about the rhythms and rhymes chosen by one to sing the life path. Breathing is about slowing down and racing on the chosen way.
Which one have I chosen?
My breathing is a center that I'll go back in any daily situation. When happy, I'll go check my breathing. When angry, I'll do the same. When calm, I can feel my breathing slow and soft. When this and when that, I won't let myself depart without managing my breathing. How much fast or slow the breathing is, I will make it calm and long.
My breathing is my anchor that I should release or retrieve based on need.
Dear, Breath. Never leave me behind, or Let me walk ahead. We should travel side by side.
rike jokanan 
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