graphs of my Universe
There's no dilemma.
There's only heart
Rocking in a sea of abundance
Misunderstood as distraction.
Sit still, Beloved
When world is noisy and busy
With laughters and cries.
i thank god that my dilemma is only between whether to read some books or to iron my clothes — not so complicated and i it only happens at the weekend; the rest is just to work and to enjoy after work 😘
it is what it is as weekend is a list of household chores in silence
enjoy your weekend!
Morning brings me heart
Newly dipped in coloured hopes
To welcome new days.
maroon heliconia
yellow heliconia
the sun showing his radiance
This life is written
Along a ribbon coiling
Around a live book.
weekend is to read what’s written as weekdays is to write what’s read
i’m a book with cover, title, table of content, chapters, and an end; and i’m craving to know about its precious author among all readers
These wings bring me everywhere
And also home.
These wings bring me adventure
And also joy.
What have your wings brought you?
finally home
it’s amazing to fly home
the peak of a mountain under my wings
the sky full of cotton under my wings
turning right with spreading wings
the sun under left wing
Is there anyone
Before
&
After
Me
Leaving
Without permission?
None--
It is a consent that forms
Life,
A period where
You
&
I
Meet at a dot on a ring.
salam, dear shrine where heart and soul escort body to whisper all secrets
Kameyama Shrine
before cleaning – looked like birds loved to bathe and leave some feathers as token of gratitude
after cleaning – no one asked me to clean this, i just felt that i needed to give Japan a small token of gratitude and Kameyama Shrine be the one to receive it
always praying someday I can come back to that shrine. I will tell her that she did give me amazing vibe in my whole visit in Kameyama. Shrines, mosques, temples, churches and other places where human beings whisper their heart and soul out have always been a charm to me.
enso – there’s a dot where two extremes meet and form balance to ensure life flows
Your face that I keep
Won't grow old. This heart preserves
Everything that's loved.
my face has been all over my iPhone’s face for the past 4 years – can’t get over my COVID era face ❣️
The sun blares a loud red.
The trees hide a peaceful green.
The commuting enjoys the grey road
That cuts across an island.
It's a home
From which the eyes pull all colours
To the heart.
the sun, the trees and the commuting
Now is a new time
Turned to old right after said.
Don't say. Just begin.
daisy is a new beginning
For:
You
Who breathes love in silence,
Who touches heart in secret,
Who smiles in the dark,
Who listens to whispers,
Who reads all scrolls,
Who kisses faraway dreams;
Take these roses,
That dance with the wind,
That spread strange chemicals,
That show off colours,
That boast deadly pricks,
That symbolise love,
That decay over time.
if i were roses, what would life be?
Won't be using this body forever,
Won't be celebrating the same victories forever,
Won't be losing the same battles forever,
Won't be this forever,
Won't be that forever,
And so it is,
Let a best be accepted--
A long sleep is waiting
Maybe tomorrow,
Maybe today.
this beauty experienced dead as seed, dead as sprout, dead as bud, dead as blossom, dead as fruit even not met the fruition yet this was once lived and loved
never underestimate any size of life; it is all enough
never miss appreciation to all blessings
❣️
Cured is what's preserved:
Head and heart from discomfort
Of forgotten hope--
Enjoy your weekend!
i don’t like daily chemical medication but once i realized that it is part of what makes the body cured (longer preserved from decay), i’ve made great peace 😍
back-to-back trips are at peace with 3-in-1 (passport, money and medication) primarily prepared
let’s fly again
Note to fellow human beings: All what human beings do to be physically healthy is to ensure a longer preserved life. I’ve made peace since forever that human beings’ body is dying everyday, unstoppable, just made the process nicer and more relaxed.
Weekend, Beloved
Perfect with noisy kitchen
And finished laundry--
—
today’s healthful brunch❣️ we call it urap in Javanese cuisine — the raw leaves are “kencur” from the pot in the balcony ♥️
About kencur
wanted to eat raw veggies but i didn’t trust the source so boiled it was — missing my home in Yogyakarta where greeneries grow organically
the grated coconut
i still haven’t bought a new food processor after the old one was spoiled so today i had to do it with my favourite pestel and mortar — now my hands feel burnt of the chili heat 😎
In this life of hues
How can I note what’s given?
To work and study--
had breakfast sometimes dinner at this table for 9 days was an experience
it is a table under an artificial tree, the light is not too bright, not so obvious from too many angles so I chose it and when I saw the number, it became my table
next time might be other numbers 🍀
44 means foundation, hard work, growth, achievements and if it is what is communicated to me, thank you.
44 is also country code of United Kingdom; I miss Chisholme House where time flows calmly while this body works and mind studies life with true devotion engaging with fellow human beings and nature. Dear God, please carry me there again.
About Chisholme House
Spirituality--
What is it, Dearest?
She talks to all sides of walls, ceilings and floors.
They talk no word, just a long hum enticing her to stop thinking;
Leaving her no choice but a weekend laundry.
Spirituality, Dearest
Is her life with
Its ups and downs,
Its ins and outs.
Her strong wills and deteriorating muscles--
—
a short spiritual interview in my laundry weekend — thank you!
enjoy your weekend!
It is very hot in Bangkok but I really want to sit down meditating before praying in a place where people pray. A place of praying is one of best places as in that area human beings are willingly connecting themselves with power beyond their own, God’s or whatever they call the power is.
I went to Wat Pathum Wanaram Rachaworawihan near the hotel and it really is a serene spot among this busy city.
This hot day out has turned to a serene cool within.
Thank you❣️
in bloom
ready to bloom
Wat Pathum Wanaram Rachaworawihan
wherever i go, i won’t miss — i won’t iss praying (my own way), it can be in mosque, shrine, temple, church, meditation center, hotel room, where.ever i feel my heart is showing me a space ♥️ — praying hall of Wat Pathum Wanaram Rachaworawihan
wherever i go, i won’t miss eating — lunch before temple 💕
Here is the long wait!
Here is the curiosity potion!
Here is the Burnt Hair!
😁
a message sent to me on Apr 24 when I was in my mother’s house, from a shipping company – could not recall what I purchased as not much shopping these days
today I picked it up when arriving home – what is it, what is it, said I curiously
ahhh!!! I purchased Elon Musk’s perfume, the Burnt Hair on Oct 14, 2022
the longest wait of a PO to be shipped in my life 😂
it is almost like burnt hair smell – maybe this is the smell of Elon Musk’s burnt hair 😂
does it worth the wait? hmmm…. for my curiosity yes, not for my olfactory system 😹
at least I have his product, not Tesla though 😎
She's navigated
By stars that cluster in shapes.
They're glowing maps.
—
remarkable aspect of manta ray behavior is their ability to navigate across vast distances
a friend who didn’t meet for quite some time met me again in Hanoi and brought me this manta ray for my bag
she said she will invite me soon to her wedding 😍
thank you❣️
About manta ray
Pink petals falling,
Showering two tiny hands
Under bluish dome
—
Himeji, I’ll be back next year 😍
This dream doesn't end
Until cherry blossom falls
On a black forest
—
black forest
This fool
Is learning
Through
Humming and
Walking with a friend and
Greeting fun adventures and
Kissing the flowers and the air.
Hello,
Fool.
Be sweet life!
—
one of my best friends is a prominent tarot master in Ubud, whose reading always reminds me that I am The Fool — thank you, De Nov ❣️
A little frog leaps
Across ocean in a pail.
Clean water splashes.
—
ranunculus, the little frogs ☺️
Anger, Beloved
Swirling stream drawning what flow,
Demolishing luck--
—
Anger can bring unluck, now I believe that.
I was furious because some people made unnecessary mistakes. Although mistake is mistake that can be fixed but covering up is another level of mistake making a mistake not just a mistake. I can never accept when people are not well treated, not well protected, ignored, disrespected.
anger is maelstrom
I still could not get rid of the patches of anger even after some hours. No sleep cured it. No food did. No nothing. I felt my body tremble whenever thinking of how those mistakes were made and so on and so forth.
This very morning I realised that my anger didn’t bring good things. It brought me heat in head, unclear thought and unlucky events. And the unlucky events were the worst as I’ve always been feeling lucky in my life.
Look what happened to me….
I queued behind a lady who failed scanning her fingerprints and facial recognition in the immigration autogate that made the waiting too long for such a sophisticated system. My Malaysia Digital Arrival Card submission failed 4 times today. My passport identification page got folded. My automatic bagagge check-in failed, with a bonus of bitter sour unfriendly female airline assistant treating my passport like a trash.
Please forgive me, dear self. Those mistakes do not belong to you and you are not responsible to bear any cost; they are those people’s, let them deal with any consequences possible.
I feel lucky.
Feel lucky.
Lucky!
There’s much ado
About what’s not done.
Shakespeare said that’s nothing.
There’s much ado
About what’s promised.
I said that’s nothing.
—
4th day of Ramadhan 💗 nothing but so much smile at my own cookings
There is pain
And patience
In endurance,
A chemical compound
That swims in blue skies,
Gets sprinkled down to a pool
Where Superman
Is endured.
—
i met Sam who swam for 20 laps of 50-meter long pool today – she swam without stopping at all, while i stopped in the middle just because a leaf poked my goggles
Sam was 65 and she said she also started like me (not consistently moving, she even said she preferred the small pool of 25-meter long near my block) – sixtyfiiivvveee!!!
she said she pushed herself past several years before finally enjoying the 50-meter long lap with no stop back and forth for one hour
see you in two days, Sam! thanks for inspiring me with your humbleness and endurance 💕
Living is breathing.
A quest of in and out air
To define meaning
—
breathing day for some of my beautiful batik, the Javanese exhibition of wisdom
One of treatments to handmade batik is letting them breath or in Javanese language we call it “angin-angin” that is literally “wind-wind” — hanging batik clothes in fresh air, not directly under the sun to let them be in contact with air to decrease the humidity.
Enjoy your breathing.
❣️
What war do you prefer?
War where I win against
My own self
To be
With
You.
—
this batik-in-process is about the epic Bharatayudha, the war between Pandawa and Kurawa
my beloved batik maestro “Ibu Tien Wartinah” is committed to complete it this year
Mbak Izzah (Ibu Tien’s daughter in law who is also a batik maker) and me with the “Gringsing Bharatayudha”
gringsing is a type of batik, one of my favourite
About Bharatayudha
About grinsing
How do you feel loved?
Not so much effort,
It's just a smile,
Or a cuddle from a dog.
I'm loved,
I'm loved
Just because
Life loves,
Love lives
Here
Now.
—
before going back to Singapore, i visited my friend in Lod Tunduh – she has 2 dogs and both love me so much, wherever i sit, both will sneak around like this!
If I can cry my soul,
It is only for
You.
I
Whose heart is made of
Silken nets miss
You.
I
Whose plane wanders
Circumambulate
You.
—
stillness that spins, noise that calms, memory that vanishes, emptiness that fulfils — all within
what’s missed has all been met at a point for a moment then time pulls the wanderer to keep the journey on and on like a subtle network full of signs and wisdom about the beloved
happy long weekend with no interruption
💕
Now here, Beloved
Is the best nowhere to go.
Breathing, close your eyes.
—
gethuk sukun with grated palm sugar 💕 for today’s breakfast! long weekend will be full of home cooking and some fun now and here
happy long weekend fully home…. no no fully home, maybe biking or walking too
waking up hungry, i went to kitchen this morning; re-steam the sukun then put one big slice in the mortar
yesterday aunty cleaning service knocked my door and showed me a big sukun (breasfruit) saying “Ma’am, would you mind cutting this into 2, one for me and and for you” — she promised me to give some sukun harvested from a tree at the green swimming pool; of course i did it happily! thank you very much, Aunty! 💕
i loved to eat it steamed or fried back home — can i grow it in my backyard? 😍
About sukun
I'm late. I'm so late.
A date that I've given up,
A dinner I've skipped--
—
beef rib soup for late dinner 😊
rike jokanan 
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