graphs of my Universe
If she says
Love is the only gift,
It is still inaudible
As the doors are all closed
And that room is air-tight.
Unheard—
Even if she screams,
What flies back
Is smooth and soft echo,
The bouncing waves
From a solid wall.
Beautiful—
—-
peace can be as simple as reading vague messages without trying to understand as guessing is not a good habit 💝
Mosquito’s smiling
At a girl grinning of itch.
A mutual joy—
—
i used to learn how to not smile at those at the other side of the table; back to smile after some years — i can lose in some negotiation but i won’t let them smile more genuinely than i do 😁 i grin actually
Veggies on the plate
Tease eyes and brain to gobble
Quickly silently.
—-
Selamat Berbuka Puasa 💝
I should have eaten more slowly and experienced each and every taste with my palate. There should have been no sensation missed: sweet, bitter, salty, sour, gurih (umami). Don’t forget hot and cold.
Alhamdulillah.
Salaam.
yesterday’s Ramadhan breakfast (ifthar): boiled veggies, spicy tuna, boiled egg
today’s: nasi bakar (grilled rice with squid and stinky beans wrapped in banana leaf), boiled veggies, left-over of spicy tuna, grated mango and bangkuang rujak*
Rujak — Rujak (Indonesian spelling) or Rojak (Malay spelling) is a salad dish of Javanese origin, commonly found in Indonesia, Malaysia and Singapore. The most popular variant in all three countries is a salad composed of a mixture of sliced or grated fruit and vegetables served with a spicy palm sugar dressing. It is often described as tangy and spicy fruit salad due to its sweet, hot and spicy dressing made from ground chilli, palm sugar and peanuts.
Bengkoang (Indonesian spelling) or Bangkuang (Malay spelling) is jicama turnip.
My version of rujak: chilli, palm sugar, tamarind and a pinch of salt
Fragrance of blossoms
Slips to the romance breathing
Of a broken heart.
—
I feel romantic when remembering how love can make human being do the toughest efforts for the beloved. It might not be romance at all like what parents do to raise children, it might be though the very romance like somebody who deeply loves someone who doesn’t care about being loved.
Massive blooming of (any) flowers always touches me romantically. Tulips, daffodils, lotus, hibiscus, sunflowers, jasmine, roses, canna, and so on and so forth even grass flowers on the street can imprison my presence in swift silence.
I’ve visited Japan many times (to me 3 and more is categorised as many) yet never before was in cherry blossom season in the visited prefectures — clean natural beauty in every place I stepped in is a guarantee; there is no dirty spot I saw there. All places in the world are gifted with beauty yet Japan has made the gift in a splendid fancy wrapping of cleanliness and tidiness; no one having visited Japan doesn’t want to come back for leisure.
I haven’t experienced cherry blossoms myself yet cherry blossoms have been part of a lot of haiku, photos seen in the Net, perfume worn so it feels so close to my heart. Wishing so much that I can visit Himeji Castle and Osaka Castle to feel my Japanese romance decorated with cherry blossoms. Sssooo much hoping to the blessings from April.
Dear April, please sweetly invite me to breathe in the subtle fragrance of and sway among the shower of tiny petals of this fragile beauty. 🌸
If this dream comes true, I will…. (thinking) 💝
Himeji Castle by NHK Japan Unfortunately the link doesn’t support embedded version. Enjoy.
stunning! cherry blossoms in Himeji Castle
gorgeous! cherry blossoms in Osaka Castle
What gift is not wrapped?
Blooming flowers in April.
Warm and colourful—
—-
she is sitting next to the shower so she is generously bathed twice a day
balcony gang 💝 watered once in three days plus some blessings from the rain
at the corner of the shower room, behind the glass door so she doesn’t bath too often 😎 but still blooming 💝
Is life abundant?
She asked.
They said,
When you have everything.
She walked away,
There was never everything
In imperfection.
She says.
Life is generous.
They say,
Because you have everything.
She walks away,
There is never perfection
In everything.
Life is abundant,
She agrees.
They ask,
Do you have everything? You are not perfect.
She walks away,
There is always perfection
In anything imperfect.
—-
anger has long gone but sadness is still lingering like a hungry fox hunting a chicken 🙃 yet life is so generous to me offering sweet imperfection and simplest perfection that might be just a dream for those perfect perfection — so thank you as always! 💝
giving myself time and space to live again 💝
Tegel kunci is floor tile original from Yogyakarta. It brings both good look and mood to a home.
Wishing to have all long weekends in my humble abode soon. Welcome, Jogja. Farewell, Ubud. 😘
💝
exquisitely different and cultural 💝 Javanese floor
The only thing making me commit to stay in a conversation and keep it confidential is my promise 15 years ago that I would never reject anyone who comes to share whatever they want to, mostly about their pain. And once a sharing from a young friend was hitting me so hard.
Me: Why do you think that friend hurts you? She doesn’t even say it is about you.
F: She should know that the case she highlights in her social media is almost the same case as mine. If she thinks it is to support me, it is a wrong way. Does she think highlighting a trauma a nice thing?
Me: Maybe she is trying to show you her support. She wants to tell you “You are not the only one, be tough, I am on your side.”
F: By making me thinking of the bad thing happening to me?
Me: You may not want to share. It is ok. What happened to you?
F: (she was crying, telling me some cases hitting me so hard that it gave me some pain in my chest.) Now you know. I think I don’t deserve anyone.
Me: I understand how it makes you feel. I guess it is gonna be ok. Do you want to tell her about your feeling to her about how the sharing has made you feel? You said you shared with her about the cases.
F: Once I told her the big picture, not the details. She said I am weak for not being able to accept what happened years ago. And I feel that I may have become a circulated story among people in her circle.
Me: (could not say much, just tried to listen as what happened to her is almost the same with what is happening to me — someone highlighted again and again some case that might make me remember what I always want to forever bury. And that contact to ensure confidentiality has been blocked is another pain.) You deserve very good people with your good heart, dear friend.
F: (crying until I finally asked her to end the call and take some rest)
I can never blame those who think trauma should or can or will be healed fast. For them it is just a story, for her (and people like her) it is a nightmare that has made her feel not deserving some things or some people or even this life.
I wish more people can appreciate and respect others regardless what others have experienced in life and won’t make the trauma a ridicule or a joke or circulated stories to make more fun.
Salaam.
shower this life with peace and love 💝 accepting, accepting, accepting
Disclaimer: by permission of the sharer
What makes my days comfortable 💝
Where is sun when sets?
Where is moon in the day light?
They share love through time.
—
Interaction is about reciprocity; even when we are alone, we are interacting with some tool of life or with the deep self within.
When it is not reciprocated, interaction is not genuinely true.
Salaam.
a grandma with her grandson
a mother with her son
family gathering
feeding two grandsons
let’s climb!
hi, dove! said the little boy
what’s in the water? said he
bubbles!!!
what is that over there? ahh hope! ☺️
am i your headache? no, you are my universe 😂
don’t move, just smile! someone is taking our picture ☺️
she is asking her cam to see what she sees 🙏🏼
our daughter is playing, i am sitting near her
hey! clear up! i am gonna land!
electrocution my a**! 😁
Every weekend
This heart multiplies.
They wander
Everywhere
Through music, pictures, poems and prayers
Sending peace
And love
That might not be
Returned.
What a sweet weekend!
—-
although you’ve targeted me with uncertainty, (pic: Banksy’s)
although you prefer war (pic: Banksy’s)
although you ignorantly hijack the love, (pic: Banksy’s)
sweet heart is still what you deserve,
no missile but beautiful heart should be sent to you (pic: Banksy’s)
freshened and showered with warm heart is your right
at the end a bunch of flowers will be thrown to you (pic: Banksy’s)
hahahaha…. i am always laughed by my best friends for constantly being “love sick” (pic: Banksy’s)
Weekend is a space
When noise is sweetly arranged
For ears and soul’s joy.
—-
my music is random selection by the flowing river within 💝
my friends often said “your music shows me your age” 😍
—
Choice’s falling star
Brightened in a quiet dark night,
Orbited to earth.
respecting this family for their choice of happiness, knowing that i will never be able to do so
inspiring me to at least enjoy simpler life and to accept all blessings more happily
She’s got her eyes caught
By the bright among the soft.
The charm stays for good.
—-
Is it the shadow
Or the real you show to me?
Distinguished beauty—
—-
i can’t remember which one is the shadow and which one is the real — i don’t want to observe further to find which is which
what i know the castle is beautiful day and night 💝
Is it tug of war
Or pendulum played within?
Two polar extremes—
—-
decision making is about choosing
winning one interest…
….and letting the other conform
there shall be a stop at one balanced point at which the momentum reaches its maturity or its exhaustion 💝
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder (Greek proverb)
—-
when a picture is taken while shaking in cold — tilting building ☺️ Suzhou (2017)
Humble Administrator’s Garden, Suzhou
Humble Administrator’s Garden, Suzhou
Humble Administrator’s Garden, Suzhou
A bubble’s bursting,
United with the free air.
Would you please join me?
—
Although Kyoto has a lot of impressive shrines, my favourite is not there. Mine is Izumo Taisha in Shimane prefecture about 343 km from Kyoto.
When visiting other shrines in Japan, I was so aware of being in Japan. In Izumo Taisha I got home: sunny, green, serene and unexplainably blissful. There were many visitors but my senses didn’t absorb their presence as if the hot air and bright light muffled their noise and wrapped me in a safe bubble bursting when my last step left the shrine front gate.
Romantic!
a long walk from the gate to the shrine — i remember it was a scorching hot day in August 2018 and i was humming while walking 😇
ablution, my daily ritual that i find also so soothing in Japan shrine especially in Izumo Taisha
torii 💝 a gate to the shrine yard
this is Izumo Taisha! 💝
shimenawa (sacred straw rope)
i only go to this coffee shop with my colleagues, but i wholeheartedly believed drinking Starbucks coffee was a nice thing; only in Izumo! right outside the shrine complex
Castles small or big
Stand on a hill among trees
Wave to the white clouds.
—
Matsue Castle, from afar (2018)
Matsue Castle, closer view (2018)
there is no reason to not thank life for making me me; with all the ups and downs, zig-zagging, winding roads, flood and quake, fake and genuine people around; i survive and become more and more relaxed — like Matsue Castle, my life is small, humble but strong enough and sweetly suitable for me 💝
She builds a castle
Protecting and comforting.
Illuminated—
—-
Nagoya Castle under the moonlight (2014)
Nagoya Castle under the sunlight (2014)
wishing to explore another castle soon 💝
no LV or Chanel or Dior or Burberry or Tory Burch or Coach or other brands — bamboo bag is my dream 💝 wishing to visit Kyoto again some day
Last night
I dreamt
All white.
Today the dreams
Come true.
White is paper
On which I write,
With which I hope,
Through which I walk,
By which I am guided.
White is that
I trust,
Love,
Respect,
Witness.
I will be white
Even if it is broken.
Broken white—
That is more
Than just enough.
—-
Wear white and you’ll feel good!
💝
in outer from Hanoi; white is good even in the dark
in a white short-sleeve kebaya from Uluwatu Handmade Balinese Lace
parang in white from Batik Baronggung, Tulungagung, my mother’s town 💝
white linen is a simple comfort
white apparel makes me feel good 🥰 the white hair does too 🤩
feel good as good as white dreams flying to find their home 💝
First listen this Ramadhan morning. Thank you as always, Pak Gita for helping us broaden horizon making us easy to respect and love others for the sake of humanity. 🙏🏼
never thought an angry boy can become this patient 🙏🏼
good faith, one thing all human beings need to respect each other — whatever the good faith is based on, hopefully on true colours of their heart snd soul
best of rewatches today! 💝
i was raised by a maid; she was treated like a family member in our home; my younger brother and i visit her graveyard twice a year now 💝 rest in peace, Yu Yat
What arranging flowers has taught me?
it teaches me to try my best then let go 😊
and to accept the fact that it is just like following an idol in social media — observing because of knowing of nothing will happen ☺️
Remembering time when I joined a self discovery workshop in Chisholme, Hawick. One of the daily task was cutting wood. It was assigned to a friend called Gill because she was strong and sturdy.
Me? Harvesting potatoes, raking the dried leaves at the yards, making bread, ironing the bedsheets, polishing silverware and making the table before meal! All exciting!
I miss that day!
Salaam.
Hello, Sun
Today is your day.
Be bright.
Be warm.
Be nice to whomever is home.
Taste delicious.
Taste good.
Taste homy to whomever is lost.
—-
weekend is about waking up late with selfie 🥱
cooking whatever i want 😍
(re)watching movies while cooking — iPad is forced to perch on the plate rack 😁
I thought I am kind
But no,
Dogs are kinder.
I thought I am strong
But no,
Dogs rock my heart.
I thought I am me
But not
Yet.
Dogs know who they are,
They live as dogs
As they are.
I live as what I want to be,
Even
When being inhumane human
Is what gives me benefits.
—-
watched this movie in today’s flight and cried — how dogs’ life is more genuine than mine🙏🏼
Haw! 💝
rike jokanan 
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