Category: Learning

My heart is a garden
Where flowers are nodding to butterflies and ladybugs
That need a ride to play.

My heart is a pond
Where lilies spread their pads to dragonflies and frog
That stop to meditate.

My heart is a cave
Where treasures are hidden from
eyes and ears
That crave for secrets.

My heart is an ocean
Where space is containing depth and width
That hug the abyss.

My heart is a home
Where songs are waiting for rhythms and rhymes
That long for a voice.

dear heart, be fragrant even when it’s around bad odor ♥️

Indonesia History, Hijacked?

Thank you for being so clear, Pak Peter.

Let It Fly

Learning, love, Poetic

Dear, kind heart
Let it fly
To where dreams
Dance with mornings.

You

Learning, Poetic, Those People

Maybe it is you
That sits on every sea wave
Gently touching me--

A Door

Learning, life, Poetic

A door, Beloved
Your way I take to enter
The way of loving--

some people said to me directly and some indirectly “my way or no way”

my life is like one-way highway with no U-turn with which the choice is chosen by itself, go ahead and that’s it! when I choose my way, the way becomes bumpy and muddy and not safe,

so I’ve never really thought about my way

letting it be instructed through my heart and follow Life’s way

so when some ask “my way or no way”, I’ll smile and think

maybe those people’s life has been so easy and smooth that all their way is running without any interruption or alteration or even 100% negotiation

maybe

but I again just smile and try to understand while waiting whose way is winning

Camouflage

Hiding in colours
Quiet, before partying again
With the same colours--

I realised that someone can show the world what’s the opposite to be able to do whatever they like behind the stage.

A man said to a woman that his parents didn’t approve the marriage with her so that he could marry another her.

A man marry a woman hiding his true sexual orientation. Once married people think he is a sexually straight, ignoring that he is giving hell to the woman who blindly loves him.

Skeleton in the cupboards — No!

camouflage to be exact

Honesty saves everyone’s time.

🙃

Dear

Learning, love

Dear Life,
Thanks for the luck
That goes on
And on
Between your fingers
Caressing my hair
With love.

Gift

Learning, love, Poetic

A gift, Beloved
Wrapped with a curled pink ribbon
For all that she loves--

my life is a gift that I share with those close around me

my gift might not be expensive but it’s the best I can present

when time is up, I hope all that I love will have received the blessing I silently promise to share with them

♥️

The Way

The way, Beloved
A way that is not one way
Made for everyone--

In the last discussion I said something unplanned. I just felt that it was the right way to say, to liberate the self that had refused to be molded or shaped with no consent.

“I feel that my journey has no pattern, I just flow, I’m always a human being in the making, I’m probably ever unfinished, always in progress”.

Today while doing the household chores, I’d been thinking if I really had no pattern. Brownian Movement, my favourite physical phenomenon that has always made me contemplate how random someone can be, is even seemingly random, yet it is statistically patterned; it’s just unpredictable. The zigzag movement will distribute particles evenly in the medium. Fabulous!

So of course I know I’m not that random.

Maybe I just need to sleep more to be more random. 🙃

the graph shows pattern

maybe I look like this to people not knowing me well & im ok with that ☺️

Karma

My biggest karma is not my family & closest friends.
It is being me in this very life,
With choices to make
And decisions to take.

Thank
You,
Life.

I’m the sunflowers that follow the sun, that will only stop moving when it sets.

Home

A home, Beloved
Where heart hums to see beauty
In just greenery--

this is where my long weekend resides (Jogja, where Mount Merapi & Prambanan Temple are pinned)

where I bike & walk in my free time, Singapore greenery

Changi Terminal 2, the airport that I mostly take off to fly out before always coming back to my second home, Singapore

New Year

New year, Beloved
An open door with a smile
Keeping soul leaping--

welcome the new year of Javanese lunar year cum Islamic new year

The Sun

Learning, love, Poetic

What if the sun never rises again?
I might also lose my sunflowers.
The yellow in my life fades away,
With the calming breathing at the end.

At least I love, Beloved,
At least I've loved
You so much.

Coffee Flowers

Learning, love, Poetic, This Person

Coffee flowers, Love
It breathes what I long for much,
Poisons me with love.

coffee flowers – I used to see many at the backyard of my uncle’s house in Jogja

I loved breathing its fragrance every morning and afternoon when I had the time to stroll along the path

yet not as many now

I love breathing coffee fragrance but not drinking it as much

Clarity

Clarity, my love
Is silence that loudly says
About who you are.

some people talk about honesty as if honesty is falling hair of theirs – nothing but waste….

…. not because honesty doesn’t mean anything; yet because they claim being honest but actually lying.

once I thought you were this, and your signs said you were this until all birds then messengers coming saying that you are that….

honesty saves everyone’s time….

1) when honesty is about dishonesty

2) when it is the talking of the walk

3) when it is the walking of the talk

🙃

so clear to me, after meeting a friend yesterday

☺️

Fallen

Learning, love, Poetic, This Person

Gravity, my love
Pulls me to Mother Earth's lap
To be just like her.

Weather

Weather is my boat
From one condition
To the next
Until I arrive
At my intended address
Where I greet flowers and fruits
Hanging so close to my hands.

my dream rambutan & starfruit

my dream climbing roses

Start The Day

Start the day, my love
With bright eyes and dancing tongue.
A day to excite--

a bowl of “pempek from Palembang & “sambal ijo” from Padang with a piece of boiled duck leg starting my day

time to clean the house & packing for tomorrow’s exciting trip 😍

A Gift

A gift, Beloved
Breeze bringing a good fragrance
Keeping me with you.

I bought a box of gift for myself – perfume 💗

patchouli is one of my favourite fragrances, it is mostly harvested in Indonesia — there’s a documentary about how patchouli farmers are ‘exploited” for perfume industry

I’m cruelly aware that my liking to scent is making me part of the exploitation. What should I do?

….thinking in awareness & with compassion

If I’m To Be

Learning, love, Map It!

If I’m to be a somewhere,

I’d love to be a flower garden

Where butterflies walk their life cycles;

A river bank

Where dragonflies daydream on the grass tips;

A pond

Where frogs get sleepy on the water lily pads;

A forest edge

Where fireflies breathe peacefully;

A meadow

Where silence and crowd collide;

A space

Where you only live to love.

Locked

It's locked, Beloved.
Hiding from those not wanted,
Enjoying close doors.

I put my Instagram account back to private from being public. I am not a public figure and not selling anything so why should it be in public mode?

Actually when being public, the account started getting random people following me (although I removed them right away). Not those I wish to follow me 😁

WordPress is still the best platform where I can rant about the public policy and service in my country without being questioned “why are you talking about thing you don’t know?” and whisper about my silent journey within.

Needing some time to stay submerged–

wanting my back garden door in this colour 😍 the one between Japanese garden and the back yard

A Reason Enough To Marry

I feel the need to listen to this.

Thank you, Mbak Rani.

Me Married? (cheerful)

it's where two sweet hearts
meeting in a quiet meadow
to sing together

(haiku about an ideal marriage of mine)

When I was a high schooler I wanted to get married at 25. At 35 broken-hearted decided to be single forever; at 45 re-opened myself to any possibility–

While in my culture talking about romance or wishing to get married at my age is considered a shame, I proceed. I’m a human being— if they do, why not me? I’m so comfortable to say this even thinking it out loud in front of family and friends; and they were the one sometimes would feel less comfortable and tell me to be calm.

I’m calm and not in a hurry chasing anyone. I”m just so relaxed. I’m accepting the fact that wanting something will not affect my state of being thankful-to-be-me if what’s wanted doesn’t happen. At this point my thought is if I’m getting married, I’m happy getting married. If I’m not, I am happy not getting married.

Last Monday I watched a podcast in which Raline Shah was interviewed by Dave Hendrik & Iwet Ramadhan (my favourite duo the DVET) in YouTube. She highlighted what I’ve thought about for so long in life (maybe also what’s been thought about by many female single around me).

And these are some loved statements of hers shareable to you all:

“I want us to still get married but I want to have faith that even if I have this job also be with you. So sometimes this independence creates insecurity in the man I date…”

It was about her stance on her own dream and the man she dated who wanted her to be just a wife instead of a woman with career.

“I would love to compromise my life. I would love to compromise my dreams because getting married is also another dream but I just don’t feel that in your natural state, does that person love you? …. They don’t really like you, they’re just in love with you.”

It was when she was asked if she would compromise her dream for marriage. This is truly a beautiful statement.

“Just be yourself para jomblo. Do what you like, …. And see who likes you for that version of you.”

Yes, being one’s self is a must. Oscar Wilde said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken“.

I hope all single people especially ladies in my culture (or other culture resembling mine) decide to get married or not because of their own choice, not because of no choice. It sounds utopic but it is what it is.

Cheerio, dear me!

Note: jomblo: single (not married) person

Iwet Ramadhan, Raline Shah, Dave Hendrik

Island

Learning, love, This Person

The isle, Beloved
Sails inch by inch through calm breeze
Telling me to breathe.

Java Jazz 2025