Donโ€™t Kill Your Dreams

A dream, Beloved,
Is roots absorbing nutrient
In any seasons.

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”-

Teak wood tree will shake all her leaves to fall off in dry season and look like standing death log in order to save her energy in managing her metabolism. It happens until the first rain pours down again. Young leaves will come out. The forest will come alive again. Annually!

Thatโ€™s what I learn from my childhood living in a district where teak wood forest was rich and well protected.

If I were a tree, I would dance and sing in its root in the spring, summer and autumn before dozing off in the winter.

Thatโ€™s what I learn about having dreams in life.

Thank you! for everything

๐Ÿฅฐ

my dream is much simpler than his (I donโ€™t even dream of visiting NY/USA, the only place Iโ€™m willing to visit is my office) but he is one of those inspiring me! he is mediocre (he said) just like me (I said) but given so much by lifeโฃ๏ธ

Happy Chinese New Year

New year, Beloved,
Leaf falling celebrated
By the wind then gone;
Only memories will stay
In the soul of those alive.

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”

You can start the year on any day and call it a new year. You can use lunar or solar or any other possible cycle in the galaxy or even beyond the galaxy as you wish.

The only thing you need is making sure your start is well used.

I thank everyday for the second chance, the new day everyday, the new year everyday.

Happy Chinese New Year!

a video from a colleague in Taiwan, always one of my favourite buddies at work!!! ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ Gong Xi, Gong Xi, Tim!

Lullaby Before CNY

Sole Monday between weekend and two-day CNY holiday is a good insert!

Welcome, Monday! You wonโ€™t be lonely with me and the OS.

whatโ€™s better than Xanax: Monomanโ€™s masterpiece ๐ŸŽถ๐ŸŽถ๐ŸŽถ๐ŸŽถ๐ŸŽถ๐ŸŽถ๐ŸŽต

Change Left Behind?

Iโ€™m in, Beloved,
Heart and soul. Give me some time,
I might be behind.

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”-โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”

Life journey is a bus full of passengers. They are free to choose how to enjoy the ride except to disturb the driver. Some read books. Some sleep. Some look out day dreaming. Some enjoy the running-backwards scenery. Some talk to other passengers. Some try to seduce sexy passengers. Some take chances to steal sleeping peopleโ€™s valuable belongings. Some complain why it takes so long to reach the destination. Some just look around confused or amazed or stupid or blank. Some do. Some do other things. Some donโ€™t. Many, many and many things are happening in one packed stuffy place, misunderstood as the only whole life.

Which are you, Beloved?

Ah! A decision was made! Iโ€™m not in that bus. I got off earlier and am now riding my scooter! I might be left behind but I made a change inside of me! ๐Ÿค 

Salaamโ€ฆ.

de do do do! de da da da!

Do!

Balance, Beloved
Not about same measurementโ€”
Itโ€™s the harmony.

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”

Letโ€™s be fair, dear Self. Are you 1 kg of feathers or 1 kg of gold?

Letโ€™s be honest. Do you prefer 2-week laundry to wash or 2-week laundry to iron?

Challenging choices to be aligned with immediate happiness

๐Ÿคน๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ

Blโ€”dy heโ€”โฃ๏ธ

this is a true disaster! the surface of my universe ๐Ÿฆธ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

The Hermit

Laughter,  Beloved,
A curtain shading shadow
Hiding a hermit.
Pulled up, it unhides a smile
Coming out from a long sleep.

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”-

Once in while, she chooses to slip in to a hermitage among the daily noise without moving away from the crowd.

one can feel solitude among everyone like one flower among other flowers, one leaf among other leaves, a tree among other trees

Taste

The taste, Beloved,
Touches life in every point.
No excuse for herโ€”

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”

Sometimes life is about experiencing spiciness level, low to high level. Sweet is hiding for a while, it will come another day.

Thatโ€™s some of my conversation with my Sensei in todayโ€™s Japanese class.

Hell yeah! โšก๏ธ

Hot!!!

About Her

In love, Beloved,
With life witnessed by flowers
That bloom in my heart.

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”

I love but also donโ€™t love myself.

flowing down
flowing in

Process Based

Blooming, Beloved
Not the most important phase.
Root is foundation
Where seed is a buried secret
With dancing roots, and the cropโ€”

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”-

Mind the strong foundation resiliently planting you to where you stand and contribution generously assisting yourself and those around.

๐Ÿ’

Strong Weakness

Weakness, Beloved
A bamboo bent by the wind,
No crack found. Intactโ€”

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”-

They call it weak, bamboo just sways beautifully. They call it havoc, bamboo just jerks along the storm rigorously.

Bamboo stays strong with its hollow and light life.

Salaam. ๐Ÿ’ž

bamboo blowing in the wind from davidlondonmd.com

Sacrifice

Is there sacrifice?
Earth lovingly hugs our waste,
Giving all her love.
Committed, sacrifice notโ€”
Yet Mars looks better? Damn you!

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”

I salute those who are ready to migrate to Mars yet curse them for destroying dear Mother Earth through mining and exploiting her to build spacecraft to join the god of war.

Allegedly-visionary people dream of living forever while destroying where they live. Allegedly-ordinary people take care of where they live and be considered underdeveloped.

To Mother Earth, so much love to and for you. Please forgive your children.

๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’ž

he is singing it well โšก๏ธ thank you

I Trust You

Know not, Beloved
This path about to end when
And where. I trust you.

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”-

Trust is what sheโ€™s been holding tight because without it sheโ€™s lost the grip against so much magnetic force around that will pull her into a gaping hole, where greediness can consume anyone till no end.

Thanks, Beloved, for giving me a life thatโ€™s imperfect but perfectly humbling me in many ways.

I trust You; voluntarily or forcefully.

๐Ÿ’ž

a song that touches my heart like a tiny leaf falling on a placid lake ๐Ÿ’ thank you

The Director

Her life, Beloved,
Perfectly-directed film
Ready for Oscarsโ€”

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”

She sometimes forgets that life is a performed script in which she is casted to act out a given role the best she can. She should follow the directorโ€™s direction and directive.

What about spectators? She should ignore spectators. Spectators are stars whose job is to see and comment on the film. And they pay for what they see and comment. The payment goes to the stars!

So, dear Star. Fix your moves. Better your expression. Tag your ears with the melody. Live in harmony, with your own self like Javanese Bedhaya performers who are meditatively drowned in the sacred composition.

Oscars are waiting.โ€ฆ

โ€ฆ. Only if you play all out!

Heart and soul dancing through body ๐Ÿ’ž

Alhamdulillah ๐ŸŒป

The Director from Pinterest
Bedhaya, the epitome of Javanese dance

Loyalty

Good day, Beloved!
Time for lunch, a space for rest
And daydream of youโ€”

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”-โ€”-

Weekend is like a lunch break after one half day before the other half, of the week.

If I could be anything, I would love to be a chipmunk at least once to enjoy the most loyal lunch menu on earth.

๐ŸŒป

Salaam.

โ€œLunch Timeโ€ in progress ๐Ÿ˜„

Beauty

A wreath, Beloved,
A circle packed with beauty,
Arranged true coloursโ€”

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”-

Dear Self,

When youโ€™re bored, splash some paints! When youโ€™re angry, splash some paints! When you feel happy, splash some paints! When you feel funny, splash some paints! When you get offended, splash some paints!

As honest as you to you when youโ€™re alone, your colours speak the truth.

Yours truly,

Your own self ๐Ÿ’ž

a wreath waiting for the final touch ๐ŸŽจ

Beauty

Wasted itโ€™s never
If blooming or not. Pretty
In its full cycle.

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”

Blessed again with 5 beautiful flower stems, accompanied by other beautiful growing not blooming orchids.

Beauty is not only in the flower. It is in the root, leaves, keiki, pot and their presence everyday.

Salaam.

๐Ÿฃ

balcony #1
balcony #2
balcony #3
bathroom window sill #1
bathroom window sill #2

Perfect Combination

Loveโ€™s yellow on green,
Sprinkling ripeness on freshness.
Pack your smile for me.

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”

๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š

yum yum or yuck yuck? ๐Ÿ˜

River

River, Beloved,
Flows. Let things go with the flow
From, in, through, to you.

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”

Feel the flow: calm, swift, pushing, breaking, splashing, swirling, stuck, moving. No matter what, flow.

enzo on a plate
golden enzo

Disclosure

Seed deeply buried,
Grown finding the sun slowlyโ€”
It is about time.

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”

Good life was once tiny little secret longing for forgiveness and blessings.

I accept my history, present and future.

May all beings be happy. ๐Ÿ’

secret unveiled, happy life

Home

A home, Beloved
Not an outlookโ€” itโ€™s the soul
That hugs when inside.

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”-

I bought my first property at 34, a bit late from the original plan simply because I was broke. It was a small house in Greater Jakarta, that is now called โ€œRumah Bobโ€ (literally Bobโ€™s home) named after my cat Bob.

It is one tiny house in a small cluster, uniformly designed with minimum freedom to show โ€œmeโ€ โ€” the owner can only have it painted different colours, install different window sills, plant different flowers and design different garden, add different carport, or maybe buy different cars.

That has motivated me to have a home that reflects โ€œthe me that I want to presentโ€. None of the houses offered to me by brokers or friends hit my core although some were into my tasteโ€” of course some were simply too pricy. ๐Ÿ˜ฉ I rejected all offers.

Apology – Some people (who helped search property for me) thought I was too much because for some of them a house is simply a place to live in comfort, while Iโ€™ve always dreamt to live in a home where I can express the true me and help my guests understand their true selves by visiting the home. A few of them sarcastically said I shouldnโ€™t have searched through them if I didnโ€™t have enough money โ€” ohhhhhh some bloody stings!!! ๐Ÿ˜‚ Yet I did apologise to them for being so difficult.

I decided to buy a small plot of land in a greenery in Yogyakarta (my fatherโ€™s home town) and build a home from scratch.

Architect – Itโ€™s very important to choose the right architect. Not necessarily the most prominent as to me integrity and friendship is the most important thing – luckily my best friend recommended her student to work on my dream. Working with an architect who was artist had blessed me. She understood what was wanted by her clients but she never got satisfied even when the clients said the final draft was excellent. She would get back to me saying โ€œMbak, I think I find which part should be optimised. Iโ€™ll get back to you with a new draft.โ€ Thanks to Mbak Novi.

The Core – My home will never impress random onlookers from the outlook or those who think a good house is a luxurious building; they will simply think itโ€™s a humble abode clean and fresh. It will only impress its guests, family and friends who truly relate with me as human beings with different kinds of engagements or those who know how to appreciate humanity and ordinary.

I wish to be granted health and prosperity to live long enough to enjoy being a sincere host in my true home to those who love life.

A dream come true! Alhamdulillah.

May all beings be happy. ๐Ÿ’

front door, greeting family and friends with all my heart and soul – no fake people are welcome

Cheese!

Be smile, Beloved,
A curve where warmth is contained.
Emoticon notโ€”

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”

Smiling is an activity which will be a habit and the skin of the owner if well trained. And so it can disappear when not practiced anymore.

Smile and smile and smile then sheโ€™ll be the smile itself. Smiling is watermelon juice! Sweet and fresh!

Happy weekend! Skip laundry! Donโ€™t care about the mountain of ready-to-wash. Just smile!

Salaamโ€ฆ.

smile, Lucy! Lucy has started her job as a key ring at my bag and she has been trying to compete smiling against me ๐Ÿ˜ hush! Iโ€™m winning ๐Ÿ™‚

Cycled

After the moon? No.
The sun is where this heart walks
With rain that visits.

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”

Chasing whatโ€™s not clear and uncertain was an exciting thing for the hot-blooded. Dark, shadowy picture of what she once imagined has started fading away. The moonโ€™s shift is over.

Walking in this forest, the leaves has rekindled her faith that rain is paying a short visit. When the rain stops, she will again realise that her heart is always enveloped in the warmth of clarity.

Sunbeam always opens a new chapter in which sunshine will take over whatโ€™s mysterious and frightening. Light will help her eyes see things the way they are, no assumption, no prejudice. It is what it is.

When she reaches the edge of the forest, she will step on a meadow where the moon is again sending shadow but this time there is no mystery anymore.

All is clear. All is well. What it takes is just counting the milestones and blessing all that are sensed.

May all beings be happy.

take the bent road or go ahead? your choice, the sun will guide you ๐Ÿงญ

Kebun Raya Purwodadi

Heโ€™s Fucked Up

Fucked up, Beloved,
Are those with no choice but grin
Or laughter to death.

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”

Enjoy beautiful South East Asian sunny days. Everyday! What a luxury! ๐Ÿ’

Asian food, please. ๐Ÿฃ

some people are born to get things fucked up ๐Ÿคฃ

A She In Words

A she, Beloved,
Is far and near, clear and blur,
But not true or false.

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”

Some people describe something so beautifully that others feel found and blessed. Those people are called the wise.

Weekend is rich with memes and kitchen; a bit chaotic with laundry and rain. Like a she she is! ๐Ÿคฉ

All memes: from Pinterest

Walk On Not Away

Walk life on colours.
Downโ€™s green. Upโ€™s blue. Insideโ€™s clear.
Hereโ€™s some red for fun.

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”

It depends on what she mixes on the pallets. Any hues will appear as she wishes.

She keeps working on a canvas because it is hers. Her parts of body work in harmony to draw a picture of her complete cycle of life.

Sheโ€™s covered at least half of her journey so she wonโ€™t turn back. Besides, the sign doesnโ€™t allow her to.

Weekend, weekend. ๐Ÿƒ

life is about moving forward, Singaporeโ€™s Treetop Walk reminded me that

Prudent Clown

Comic, Beloved,
Life through senses. Through head, stormsโ€”
Through soul, a great giftโ€”

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”-

โ€˜m wishing the borders re-open soon so I can travel to meet my family and friends then have some chat with them while throwing sour jokes without emoticon or disturbed internet connection.

โ€˜m wishing the borders re-open soon so I can travel to see my base home starting her life.

โ€˜m wishing Iโ€™m as fine as now if the borders donโ€™t re-open soon. ๐Ÿ˜Ž

Borders re-opening means no quarantine applied ๐Ÿ˜ 10-day in a closed room -how much ever it is comfy- is truly a must-not-happen-experience-in-life thing!

wisdom, humour and friendship at one table ๐Ÿ˜‚

Life Should Be

Blissful, Beloved,
Joyful, gleefulโ€” life should be.
Save the right window.

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”-

โ€˜m praying that Iโ€™ll be saved from any danger and threats from any creature. Amenโ€ฆ

Nagasari or Nogosari is rice cake filled with ripe banana, one โ€œsnackโ€ included in Javanese praying ceremony. This food symbolises prayer to God for safety and security from any danger and threats from any creature; and so a Javaneseโ€™s life can be blissful, joyful and gleeful.

Always sit next to the right window, dear Self. ๐Ÿ’

prayer of safety and security in a piece of ramekin ๐Ÿฅฐ
modern Nagasari, should be wrapped in banana leaf but today it was steamed in a ๐Ÿ’ instead

Rose Garden

Garden, Beloved,
Fertilized with poisons? Dead!
Cinder rose goes off.

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”

A group call with my brother and sister in law is mostly either stupid or crazy. Once we talked about the old time passing and our addiction.

How someone gets addicted to something is mostly started from a physical or mental exit of painโ€” either clinically prescribed or personally decidedโ€” followed by excessive dependency on the substances or the activities.

Iโ€™ve seen how people addicted to medicine (I was to pain killer), drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, etc have changed from beautiful human beings into ugly persons either physically or mentally. Itโ€™s how awful co-dependency shapes someoneโ€™s life. Moreover, there is no addiction in any history that brings true happiness or freedom.

Three of us then discussed about someone who was addicted to something unusual: spiritual drills. Having all resources, the person went shopping on various classes and workshops about spirituality and self help such as meditation, mindfulness, tapping therapy, money magnet and how to optimise it spiritually, how to activate chakra, yoga and blahblahblah, gemstones and their spiritual power, mandala and spiritual awakening, how spiritual life pull financial abundance, spiritual traveling around many places, etc. One had been in oneโ€™s 60th class last time we met. One would be able to answer all questions in any possible ways. I called one โ€˜Mr/Ms Know Allโ€™, a euphemistic nick name that might be loved by those addicted to power and authority. Some friends called this person โ€œMr/Ms Spiritual Junkyโ€.

What I remember about this person is that no one around was genuinely appreciated, everyone was just a โ€œwho-are-you-you-think-youโ€™re-better-than-meโ€. One called most of oneโ€™s friends โ€œcantrikโ€, a Javanese word that literally means follower/helper and would never be up to oneโ€™s level (one called oneโ€™s self healer and universe map reader).

How ironic! From someone who were full of compassion to someone who were full of envy and insecurityโ€”

I think many if not all people to some extent were once addict who learned the lessons and changed the patterns to be free from co-dependency. My brother was a heavy smoker, been stopping for around 3 years. My sister in law was a Korean drama freak and quit. I myself was addicted to those I fell for and heavily overthinking.

โ€œI almost got addicted to someone again.โ€

โ€œLet go! Let go! Let go!โ€ said they to me like cheerleaders.

Definitely! Itโ€™s a waste to wait for emotionally unavailable people to care that I care about them. Iโ€™m ok to get soaked in love and compassion but not in addiction to people. ๐Ÿ’

Addiction, oh addiction.

Alfatihah to all of those who are addicted to anything in any situation. Be healed and blessed.

are they addicted to gadget or hugs? so clingy, damnโ€ฆ. ๐Ÿ˜‚

Addiction to technology?

cinder rose, dusty pink ๐Ÿฅฐ from Pinterest

Madly In Love

Was madly in love,
Still amโ€ฆ. Realm is the limit.
โ€ฆ. With you, Belovedโ€”

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”

Where is the end of love journey? Either hopelessness or time ๐Ÿ’

Alfatihah ๐Ÿ’•

love poem of Nizar Qabbani

Nizar Qabbani