Welcome, Beloved,
To where you belong. The home
That keeps missing you.
β
They are welcoming me home with love β₯οΈ






graphs of my Universe
Welcome, Beloved,
To where you belong. The home
That keeps missing you.
β
They are welcoming me home with love β₯οΈ






Flowers, Beloved,
Dipping her days in colours,
Leaving her in aweβ
β
Thanks God for the flowers around which have helped me much to be in good mood. Suddenly get the urge to ritually pray and thank for all the blessings sprinkled on to meβ
Weekend, bring me to Masjid Sultan. π₯°







Blessings, Beloved,
Smiles counted as a welcome
Paid with a thank you.
β
Iβve always loved South East Asia countries; its friendliness, warmth and good food is beyond compare. Tonight was a nice local experiences with a colleague at Hanoi night for cha ca la vang, desserts on the road and egg coffee in Cafe Dinh. Most importantly on motor bike!
π






Got lost, Beloved,
Standing in a night-market
Seeing all the cheersβ
β-









Coffee, Beloved,
Brings back the fragrance of breeze
From the green high land.
β-
I drink coffee but am not a big fan of it. Fragrance of raw coffee beans, coffee cherries, coffee leaves, coffee flowers, coffee trees are much more lovable to these nostrils. Last 2019 visit to my uncle and auntβs home in Menoreh Hill has always been a fresh fragrant memory; it is because the coffee fragrance would welcome us in the morning when wind blowing down the hill through the window sills.
Along the path up the hill going to our grandparentsβ graveyards these hands would playfully pull some coffee leaves or coffee cherries, squeeze them and breathe the aroma in. My cousins and nieces would do the same. We would throw them to the dogs jumping around as playful as the owners.
Miss that green high land, where my ancestors started their humble legendsβ
Wind, fly me. π«
Salaam.




For granted I take
The green, the blue and the red
Until they turn grey.
β-
Sometimes Iβm thankful that Iβm not given opportunity to have children. I canβt imagine what playfulness and nature exploration they will have in their future with very minimum real nature around. Iβm thankful. π₯°
Sometimes Iβm broken-hearted that Iβm not given opportunity to have children. I canβt agree on how some people raise their children. I egotistically imagine how well I would raise them to be human-respecting and nature-loving generation in the family tree. Iβm selfish. π
Meanwhile Iβm always feeling lucky to be me, born when and where nature was willing to introduce her excessive bounties, grew up when and where human interaction was real and warm, working when and where human right and environment protection is a paramount topic. Iβm blessed. π₯°
β₯οΈ


Time zones, Beloved,
Limit spaces with blurred ends.
Illusion that jails.
β
One hour makes things different.
Dear, timeβ¦. Thanks for the space you just gave for whatβs called holiday. Please bless me with nice pace and good vibe again and again like always.
If I forget about your kindness, please remind me gently as Iβm fragile. If I take you for granted, please remind me that Iβm traveling between your two points: start and end.
Thanks again.
Me that is blessed with both negative and positive yet trying to balance at the zero β£οΈ


Mother, Beloved
Sheβs giving more than taking
No end since morning.
β-
This morning I saw my mother cleaned our slim long patch of plants and Mother Nature showed the beauty along the patch. Many herbs and flowers are presenting their prime time. Some of them are preparing their exhibit and yields. Many of them are of no bloom after last month.
I didnβt help her. Let her enjoy the cleaning, let me take some pictures. π
Some neighbours passed by and greeted us, exchanging some light chat about the neighbourhood. One of them came to us bringing a bowl of nasi jagung (steamed corn grain) before she went teaching.
A short visit with long lost warmth of a real neighbourhood
May all beings be happy.












and so onβ¦.

Indonesia – May 10, 2022 / 07:28am
I learn
Life is about counting gates of moments.
Itβs not what I celebrate,
Itβs how I celebrate.
They call it this,
I call it that,
Itβs a day dyed with red, blue, yellow
Yet
Really the day wonβt describe its own color when asked.
One more day to celebrate!
β-
Itβs not unusual Ramadhan is closed on different days by different groups of Muslim esp. in big country like Indonesia. One group may close Ramadhan on 29th day, the other on 30th. Itβs not a big deal (although some noisy people like to debate about it) but itβs not simple things to explain. Overall the difference is due to 2 different methods of seeing the crescent moon visibility in the horizon – one group is using mathematical astronomy (computation), the other physical observation (telescope).
This year most of my family in Indonesia celebrated the Eid yesterday, I in Singapore today.
Without further adoβ¦.

Celebrate moments that are given in life including this festivity. Every moment is a gate to another moment before entering the next gate of moment. After entering Ramadhan gate, now Syawal gate, whatβs next? Any should be simply a gate to start or to restart or to continue.

Gate after gate before finally the grandest gate β©

once moreβ¦
Selamat Hari Raya Idul Fitri 1443H
Home is where heart feels safe and calm. And going home is always something to cherish. One of terminology for going home in Indonesia βonly in Indonesiaβ is mudik. Some consider mudik as a derivational Indonesian and Malay word from the words βme+udik= mengudik = mudikβ that means going back to home town (udik= home town, rural). However, it is also allegedly an acronym of two Javanese words mulih (going home) and sedhiluk (for a short while). The mudik tradition is done on one celebrated religion festive day called Hari Raya Idul Fitri (the Eid Mubarak after Ramadhan). It is a massive movement happens from medium to big cities to smaller regions/towns/districts/villages where senior family members (grand parents, parents) usually reside.
Mudik is one cultural side product of urbanisation. Urbanisation as a population shift from rural to urban areas due to concentration of modern work styles (non agricultural) has left minimum of not no choice to younger people to go to bigger cities to work in big companies or manufacturing sites. And, as they have left their homes with parents and other groups of elders, they see the need to go home regularly. As much as they want to meet the elders more often to pay homage, their work duties have only allowed them to do it annually.
Why Hari Raya Fitri is the most chosen? It is closely related to the fact that especially in Java island the biggest population is Muslim. But not only Muslim will do mudik, other religion believers also do it as they want to enjoy the festivity with their Muslim family and friends. Everyone loves Hari Raya Idul Fitri. Everyone looks forward to mudik every year.
Aside from that it is the best time for a rendezvous, mudik is also associated with the word Fitri literally meaning βbecoming holy againβ or βgoing back to the origin of creation which is sinlessβ. So mudik isnβt only physical movement to where people were born, itβs also commemoration of going back to holy again (although the holiness isnβt the point as no one alive is truly holy), going back to the origin of creation (to realise that how big their success in career in the cities, they are still human beings created by God, born by a mother and raised by parents in rural area).
Maybe only Indonesians can really relate with this. Weβre so blessed. π
This year is gonna be one of the biggest after the lock-down thingy due to the beloved COVID-19. Canβt wait to finally meet with my beloved family and friends after 2 yearsβ£οΈ
Selamat Hari Raya Idul Fitri. Maafkan lahir dan bathin. π£
Note: Hari Raya Idul Fitri = Lebaran = Riyaya = Baβdan = Eid Mubarak

Singapore – May 1, 2022 / 22:20
Regret and sorry
Not easy to feel and say,
Yet flushing the guilt.
Look! Itβs rain water pouring
On the roof, sweeps away dirt.
βββββββββββββββββ
Ramadhan is starting tomorrow, itβs my 38th year in which I do full fasting. Iβm so grateful with this achievement. Achievement? Yes! Imagine for one full month during the day we donβt drink, we donβt eat, we donβt smoke, we donβt sex, we donβt let out uncontrolled emotion, we simply hold whatever we normally let out easily with no delay. We are human beings though, we can do all those at night. Ahem!
As a Javanese Muslim welcoming Ramadhan is as special as the fasting itself. We welcome the Ramadhan with a small celebration called megengan which literally means holding (esp. the breath).
In megengan a Javanese family will deliver a basket of rice with dishes to neighbours and extended family members living separately. While each family can choose what they share, there is one must specialty in this occasional delivery so called βapemβ in Javanese or βkue apamβ in Bahasa Indonesia or Malay.
Apem is steamed cake whose ingredients are rice flour, coconut milk, coconut water, yeast, sago starch and some sugar.
The word apem is derived from the word βafwunβ (an Arabic word) meaning apology. Why apology? In Ramadhan when a Muslim is fasting, s/he is not only holding her/himself from hunger, thirst, lust, uncontrolled anger, and exercising her/his integrity; but s/he is also recommended to contemplate her/his own βaction recordsβ for the past one year. It is not easy for one to bear the guilt during the contemplation, so it is recommended for a Muslim before Ramadhan to apologise to their family and friends or to whomever s/he did wrongdoing, to ease the contemplation process. As it might not be easy to say sorry through a naked word, Javanese Muslim will include a symbolic apology in the food called apem when they deliver the whole food package. Everyone knows what it is, what it doesβ it is up to each person whether or not to accept the apology. And there they go starting the fasting month with a light heart to physically, mentally and spiritually exercise her/himself for one full month.
I used to think that that celebration was a waste of food. For one week I used to see sooooo many plastic and bamboo baskets piled up in our dining table and shelves β all those megengan packages which would be eaten just a bit and end up given to our chickens at the back yard. Fyi, the apem is never wasted though as every family has different taste and ways of how to make their best apem – maybe itβs a symbol that everyone is taking the apology seriously. I used to say to my mom that megengan was more about chickens celebrating than human beings celebrating. However after I understand what is symbolised through those simple deliveries, I highly appreciate the way we Javanese hold the integrity through our humble tradition.
I used to tell my mother to not do it, but now Iβve always been a reminder to her to not forget doing it and done it myself although Iβm living around those not familiar with this tradition. I normally cook some simple food for the cleaning ladies and the gardeners who are assigned in the block two days before Ramadhan. Unfortunately minus the apem, simply because I am not confident enough to make my own apem. Tried this year though and failed π
I promise to myself that this year is gonna be a good Ramadhan.
Welcome, month of holding, month of exercising integrity. It might not be always easy but doable.
Iβm sending out apology to all the people having felt hurt by me. Iβm sorry with my heart and soul in naked words. ππΌ
May all beings be happy.

Does it suffocate
Or release? Up to the sky
Or stuck in the black?
Meet the wind. Fly to the far.
Let the chimney nobly stand.
ββββββββββββββββββββ-
Chimney is a symbol of industrial era like church for religiosity, tower for secularity and all kinds of stars of spirituality.
Yet I found different interpretation of mine on chimney through Japanese books reading (very very elementary, all hiragana and katakana, I can only remember 15 kanji so far, hell yeah!). Chimney can be a symbol of fairy tales, dreams, ideas and creativity emerging from the dark, beautiful stories. What else? Ya, just use imagination to find what clicks in mind until the word βchimneyβ meets its lighter connotation against the one in paragraph 1.
Reading the books, I canβt deny some people really get blessed with extraordinary imaginary world and ability to materialise whatβs in it by intertwining the intangible blessings with the tangible ones. Like the writer whose books Iβve read.
God bless you, Akihiro Nishino (should be with ~san). Thanks for the books youβve written.
Read. Read. Read.
Read the letters. Read the lessons. Read between the lines.
π


A home, Beloved
Not an outlookβ itβs the soul
That hugs when inside.
βββββββββββββββββββββ-
I bought my first property at 34, a bit late from the original plan simply because I was broke. It was a small house in Greater Jakarta, that is now called βRumah Bobβ (literally Bobβs home) named after my cat Bob.
It is one tiny house in a small cluster, uniformly designed with minimum freedom to show βmeβ β the owner can only have it painted different colours, install different window sills, plant different flowers and design different garden, add different carport, or maybe buy different cars.
That has motivated me to have a home that reflects βthe me that I want to presentβ. None of the houses offered to me by brokers or friends hit my core although some were into my tasteβ of course some were simply too pricy. π© I rejected all offers.
Apology – Some people (who helped search property for me) thought I was too much because for some of them a house is simply a place to live in comfort, while Iβve always dreamt to live in a home where I can express the true me and help my guests understand their true selves by visiting the home. A few of them sarcastically said I shouldnβt have searched through them if I didnβt have enough money β ohhhhhh some bloody stings!!! π Yet I did apologise to them for being so difficult.
I decided to buy a small plot of land in a greenery in Yogyakarta (my fatherβs home town) and build a home from scratch.
Architect – Itβs very important to choose the right architect. Not necessarily the most prominent as to me integrity and friendship is the most important thing – luckily my best friend recommended her student to work on my dream. Working with an architect who was artist had blessed me. She understood what was wanted by her clients but she never got satisfied even when the clients said the final draft was excellent. She would get back to me saying βMbak, I think I find which part should be optimised. Iβll get back to you with a new draft.β Thanks to Mbak Novi.
The Core – My home will never impress random onlookers from the outlook or those who think a good house is a luxurious building; they will simply think itβs a humble abode clean and fresh. It will only impress its guests, family and friends who truly relate with me as human beings with different kinds of engagements or those who know how to appreciate humanity and ordinary.
I wish to be granted health and prosperity to live long enough to enjoy being a sincere host in my true home to those who love life.
A dream come true! Alhamdulillah.
May all beings be happy. π

After the moon? No.
The sun is where this heart walks
With rain that visits.
βββββββββββββββββββββ
Chasing whatβs not clear and uncertain was an exciting thing for the hot-blooded. Dark, shadowy picture of what she once imagined has started fading away. The moonβs shift is over.
Walking in this forest, the leaves has rekindled her faith that rain is paying a short visit. When the rain stops, she will again realise that her heart is always enveloped in the warmth of clarity.
Sunbeam always opens a new chapter in which sunshine will take over whatβs mysterious and frightening. Light will help her eyes see things the way they are, no assumption, no prejudice. It is what it is.
When she reaches the edge of the forest, she will step on a meadow where the moon is again sending shadow but this time there is no mystery anymore.
All is clear. All is well. What it takes is just counting the milestones and blessing all that are sensed.
May all beings be happy.

Flowers scent the air
With messages telling her
To follow North Star.
The path brings her to the gate
Where home is a state of mind.
ββββββββββββββββββββ-
Home is where the heart belongs to. This wanderer finds it where she is. Now and hereβ¦.


Green, lush forest trail
Where fresh air infuses life
With hopes and good vibes.
ββββββββββββββββββββ
Todayβs 4-hour walk in MacRitchie National Park gave me full stock of tropical vibes that will last for a year ahead keeping me positively motivated.
Wish there are more and bigger places like this in more countries especially in South East Asia so that people can find sanctuaries to breathe in cleaner tropical air for a while after busily working in populated buildings where air is conditioned or in factories where excessive chemicals are used or made.
Thanks, Singapore for keeping some managed greeneries which keeps the oxygen happily circulated.
π³











Sail by a bumboat
To linger where natureβs mixed
With preserved good life.
ββββββββββββββββββ-
Finally I visited Pulau Ubin, the only place in Singapore where there are no apartment buildings, malls or highways. It just a kampung (village in Malay language). Cool and green!
Wikipedia: On 3 June 2005, the Singapore Government ordered that all the farmers rearing poultry on the island were to ship them to mainland Singapore and rear them in government-approved farms by 17 June 2005, in the wake of the avian influenza. In exchange, the local inhabitants were offered HDB government housing packages, although they could choose to live on the island. As of 2012, there are only 38 people living on the island.[8]
Wikipedia: Pulau Ubin’s wooden house villages and wooden jetties, relaxed inhabitants, rich and preserved wildlife, abandoned quarries and plantations, and untouched nature make it the last witness of the old kampung Singapore that existed before modern industrial times and large-scale urban development.
Thanks, Singapore for teaching me a lot of paradoxical loads of experiences.
Holiday is real! π€©










Wish you, Beloved,
Sent with white heart through the air
And short holiday
ββββββββββββββββββββββ
Christmas falls on Sunday so itβs replaced with a day off on the following Monday. I take 2 days of special shut-down on 23 and 24 soβ¦. It is a long weekend for 2021βs Christmas. Whoohoo!
As much as missing my family, I donβt have enough gut to go back to Indonesia which still applies 10-day quarantine in Jakarta while I still have to fly to Surabaya before meeting my mother.
βItβs fine, you stay safe there. Take good care of yourself,β said they. Thatβs enough as blessings to me.
So? Where to go?
Pulau Ubin by bike!
Al Fatihah to all celebrating Christmas and those enjoying holiday! π
How time flies!
How age discolours hair,
Folds skin,
Accumulates fat,
Shortens eyesight,
Softens muscles,
Weakens body.
Damn!
How life dives!
How age develops mind,
Broadens horizon,
Wises up perception,
Deepens empathy,
Harden willingness,
Strengthens compassion.
Hell yeah!
Donβt play wise, Fool. Your hair needs dyeing soon!
ββββββββββββββββββββ-
I was an old soul. Now I am just old. π

Nature, Beloved,
Speaks to you about a path
Where wings be North Star
Which gives signs and directions
Only when you walk.
βββββββββββββββββββββ
Only when you know your destination, Beloved, and are willing to take the walk, all signs, symbols and directions become relevant.
Salaamβ¦. π






Lily bulbs come back
Among red leaves in autumn.
Second chance from Herβ
βββββββββββββββββββββ-
What is second chance? Once again? Or again and again like lily bulbs that come back every autumn and bloom beautifully until forever ends?

Mother Nature has taught me that mistake doesnβt come with punishment; it comes with lesson to be a better human being, someone who has purer intention and clearer attention. She consistently brings messages about acceptance that no one will be perfect as imperfection is an included package to realise and/or materialise perfection. That welcoming the next good day is doing the best today. That if the next now called tomorrow is here, the second chance has welcome me to be a better me. A me thatβs more me than beforeβ
I remember my Kyoto trip in 2014, my first encounter with spider lily. Fascinated, I sat down on the grass for quite long time in front of a temple with my camera until a beautiful Japanese (old) lady stopped by me.
βHana! Hana! Hana!β She said smiling, with her thumbs pointed to the lily then to my camera.
βYa! Ya! Ya! Thank you! Beautiful flowers!β
It was a surprise for me. A moment with no preparation. A short act with no anticipation. She just went away with her wise old smile.
That lady was probably sent to me as a second chance to re-define what possibly a Japanese truly looks like as the previous week I didnβt have a good experience with another one in Nagano.
I wonβt probably meet with her again, yet enough for me to know that when Iβm that age, Iβd like to be as friendly and warm as her. π
Thank you for everything that comes with second chance, even second chance after my second chance so that in the second second chance I realise that it is my second chance not to be missed.
Al-Fatihah for all those who miss the second chance and those who are waiting for a second chance.
Salaamβ¦.

Both pictures are borrowed from https://www.japanvisitor.com/japanese-culture/seasons/higanbana
Lunar and field lights.
One beams, the other ones glare.
Runners run in peace.
βββββββββββββββββββββ

Covered with white sand,
A beach lies behind mountains.
The breeze that is missedβ
βββββββββββββββββββββ
Unfolding map of South East Asia, getting travel gears with excitement
South East Asia, a truly loved place of mine where human beings are created humble and friendly in nature. Nature, please always make us that way. π
Salaamβ¦.

This life, Beloved,
Needs greenery and friendship
To stay beautiful.
ββββββββββββββββββββ
Someone canβt truly live without dreams. Dreams make days clear with focus and full of energy, nights calm with focus and full of serenity.
Simple dreams will do; as simple as doing daily gardening on a small courtyard garden and veggies garden around a house that is hosting simple rendezvous of family and good friends, cooking, teaching free language classes and life skill or tips of management or leadership to those who need, traveling light to places friendly to weaker body, sharing how life is so broad and deep with those who care.
Come true. Come true. Come true. π£
Wake up! All is still on paper. Go back to work! π
May all beings be happy. π
Distance, Beloved,
Isnβt how far youβre from me.
Itβs how soft the voice
Can reach your heart. These whispers
Slide through the space of the rain.
βββββββββββββββββββββ-
Have a good weekend! π±
Moment, Beloved
The breeze before falling rain
Greets the earth. A joyβ
βββββββββββββββββββββ
Moment is when an experience gets clicked with all senses, falls on to the right-chosen meanings, stays for a longer time.
Yet each moment should vanish, fade away, blend into pixels of maturity in someoneβs life. It will be forgiven, might be forgotten, must be learnt as life lessons. How delicious this life is for those who are willing to appreciate both shade and light. How beautiful life is as it is composed by millions of pixels of different experiences whose essence is memorable.
The more experience, the better? Yes, only when its essence is memorable. Its essence is memorable only when all senses are capturing the experience and reflecting it through lesson learnt. Or else, it is just motion gone with the tick-tock of a clockβ not forgiven, not forgotten, no learnt-lesson.
Walking through the lanes around Masjid Sultan, sitting at the verandah of an old shop lot, reading new old-book from Wardah Books, drinking Turkish coffee, sucking the sweetness of kunefe, breathing the air right before the rain, hearing the warm chats from other tables are all motions which are waiting for the moment to disclose beauty before things end. The taste of life!
Weekend is always much appreciated through slow pace, to balance the fast-paced demanding targets that are relevant for a preparation before the next beneficial life journey.
May all beings be happy.




Alaturka Mediterranean and Turkish Restaurant, gonna be back again (and again) π₯


Green hedge keeps growing.
Itβs beauty and protection,
Keeping bugs away.
ββββββββββββββββββββ
Some boundary should be set. Yes, it should. In certain situation it becomes a must.
When I was young, I used to think friendship ought to be taken for granted. This personβs young eyes were not sharp enough to recognise which was pure gold and which was gold-plated. Manipulation was never known by this mental dictionary. All smiles and good words were the same to me, they meant kindness.
After knowing what gold is, now it is clearer who should play in my garden of life a little bit deeper as real friends, those who can safe-keep more information about this precious journey. My smiles and good heart are free of charge for everyone, but beautiful green hedge with a humble strong gate will select who can enter the gate then the front door then living room then library then dining room then kitchen or finally to my bedroom. Not all are allowed to stay in for too long with privileges. Some couriers of messages or packages can only stay for one minute or two for the delivery then off they should go!
Boundary is not necessarily a fort. Beautiful plants around this home should be clearly understood that permission is required for guests to enter the premises.
I know when people don’t want me in their circle and that’s fine. So, I hope people know that my green hedge is the limit. Stepping on the line means violation and security alarm will go off.
Stop there, dear friends. Fix yourself before fixing others. Your experiences are not needed here. πΈ
May all beings be happy.

Green is forever
On the belt of this round earth.
How would I leave it?
βββββββββββββββββββ
It is green that makes things fresh and refreshing. When I was young, I thought being young was too long a time and I wanted to grow older soon so that I could wear my eldest sisterβs beautiful skirts and dresses. Now Iβm old, I feel that there was so much I should have done that Iβve missed. If given the chance to get back to that period, I would be this me but with a little more shade of patience and enjoyed everything with no fear. Alas! I thank God though that I donβt have to get back to that period as there were incidents I never want to re-experience at any cost.
Being green being young, Iβll keep it in heart and soul. Let my body weaken, but my inner stays fresh without boredom to spread the vibes like the khatulistiwa which stays green as long as human beings want to breathe fresh air.
May all beings be happy. π


Breathing, Beloved,
Circulating to balanceβ
Inhale the laughter,
Exhale the wisdom. Or else,
Wise in, laugh out. Life is full.
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
This weekend is laundry session accompanied by a marathon of Indonesian comedy films closed with a documentary, Semesta from Tanakhir Film.
She wonβt survive without laughing and will rot faster without contemplating; or the other way around.
How would she not be grateful with both accessible?
Welcome, a new week.
Some green book wasnβt green;
As black as history; fun
As unique friendship.
ββββββββββββββββββββ
A good watch for the weekend π
How a trip makes a friendship.
How seat position makes different points of view.
How sweet words move a heart.
How a movie draws smiles.
How would you think?
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