She's simply composed, Not even shaken by storm. Rooted to the earth--
My intuition works wonder when it comes to family esp mother, as if knowing when something wrong happens even no one informs me.
Yesterday I contacted my sister saying that mother might not be good. She said mother was ok and sleeping.
My gut said different. I contacted my cousin saying the same thing and she said “Yes, she fell and injured a bit on her chin and left hands.”
I happened to know later that my mother didn’t allow my sister to tell me about the incident.
I tried to digest the “lie” although the feeling inside was a mix of anger, disappointment, sadness, left behind at the same time relief that she was now ok.
This morning after a long meeting I called my mother. I really wanted to give her some “lecture” that she should be careful, should not do this or that and should let me know whatsoever happens to her. But I detered myself from doing so.
I know what I would say is something true but don’t want to hurt her motherly affectionate decision. I chose to accept her reason of not informing me: so my child can work with light heart.
My mother is one of the mentally strongest women I’ve known in life. None of people knowing her will say otherwise.
Once I joked around with her “Ibu, please pray that I don’t have to be as strong as you in life as when I’m as strong as you, it means I will have one most challenging of human life.”
She said “You can be stronger than me but don’t need to experience what I have in life. Trust your life.”
Yes, I do trust life will protect me from the harms.
What am I Without teacher? A lost wanderer Losing destination.
What am I Without teacher? A confused traveler Losing guidance
What am I Without teacher? A dreamer Losing inspiration.
What am I Without teacher? A human Losing meaning.
What am I Without teacher? A Soul Repeating the same mistakes.
Dear Teacher, You are born For me To be reborn As me.
I'm grateful to You.
Today’s lunch break was about a phenomenal chat with some teachers of life.
Thousands if not millions of teachers have taught me in life. There are some that I cherish the most today, those that have triggered me to make biggest decisions in life.
Thank you, dear teachers❣️
Bapak Merta Ada, he was the one teaching me to go within without doubt, without limit – “spread love and compassion”, his advice 🥹
Sister Zak, my Arabic teacher — she emphasised that what we read needs to be well understood first then pondered then can be interpreted (differently) — “be a responsible interpreter of the Quran for yourself, no one to blame when you make wrong interpretation or decision“, her advice
Aaron Cass, my mentor in Beshara School who helped me open most doors of freedom of responsibly being human through his amazing knowledge and wisdom about sufism and esp about Ibn Arabi & Rumi — “from now on whatever you do differently, never make it a new religion”, his advice
Ina, a best friend from high school whose action moved my soul: she left her brilliant career (at the same time I started mine in Singapore) without new career to take care of her parents for her sense of responsibility; she took care of her mother until she passed away, now she is taking care of her father; Ina, you are beautifully blessed — “let’s exchange stupid memes and videos”, her message
dear Ibu, i won’t let anyone hurt you — “work responsibly and take care”, her every morning’s advice
Vito, my dear nephew, “i will always love you and protect you forever”, his last message before he passed
the fire warden in the mirror, “have you smiled today?” my greeting to myself
Today The war was cool Under the water With some kids Who know Only fun!
look at those 3 teenagers — they shot me with a water gun under the water while i was swimming; they thought i would be annoyed, i said to them “hello” when i breathed in above the water then we became friends, they moved aside when i was passing by — thank you, sweet rascals 😀😘
i saw they did the same to other swimmers 😂👍🏽
i think i have fewer and fewer reasons to ignore blessings in this life
They are clearly glued Sailing through tides, high and low One sweet tomorrow--
back to 2022, 2024 photo is not published as the pose is too vulgar 😁
we 1st met in 2013 and this friendship is lasting forever
born in different countries, nurtured in different culture, educated in different discipline, moulded in the same work culture — see you again in mid Aug, ladies!
Start each morning, Love With ready ears to listen, Heart blessed with shared joy--
DVET Siaran Pagi in TikTok
one sample of rebroadcast that i randomly watched 🌶️
I feel like talking about my excitement that makes my morning brighter. There is a morning show (in Indonesian only) in TikTok labeled DVET Siaran Pagi.
There are two announcers in the morning show. And they have made my days with the show although I mostly watch its rebroadcast through YouTube in the evening; I can listen to them live when commuting or when working from remote and no meeting starts early.
I started listening to this show in early July through YouTube as a random algorithm result (justpopped up like that) while the show has been there since 2023, so I kind of not know what topics have been covered before. Yet it doesn’t matter, I don’t need to flash back to enjoy their hilarious friendly talk.
What topics so attract me?
Any random topic in life. It is just like when radio show was happening (when I was young — gosh!) the announcers talked about anything s/he liked or experienced or breaking news in town/country (sometimes alone, sometimes more than one announcer at the same time) and played some song playlist that was planned or sometimes requested by the listeners.
These two announcers in the DVET Siaran Pagi act like they are video calling and talking about their day like two friends — you can hear laughter, slangs, swearing. Simply like we are eavesdropping on two friends. 😝
Anyway I think they are truly friends in life.
Who are they?
One streamer is Dave Hendrik, a previously radio announcer is now a prominent MC in Indonesia — his name has been one of very few celebs that I adored because of his originality and confidence.
When sexual orientation or identity was still a rare topic to touch, he was already himself — even as a straight I respect his openness as he is not the one forcing others to follow his choice.
I also love how he treats his niece and nephew (at least that’s what I see in his Instagram) actually he’s inspired me to do the same thing to mine — thank you, Dave.
The way Dave expresses himself is sometimes “random” that I have no choice but laughing or exclaiming “what?!” or “huhhh?!”While talking smart he can suddenly produce wrong pronunciation, wrong naming, slip of the tongues and the like. Hilarious!
Wishing Dave a good life for making my days. If I meet him in Jakarta someday, I will give him a bar of Toblerone. ☺️
The other announcer is Iwet Ramadhan. He was also a radio announcer back then; he is now a business leader.
Among his works that I know his batik documentaries in YouTube should have been one biggest contribution to Indonesia culture & that he has a batik-based business to support “mothers working at home” in Jakarta has made him a decent man to respect. I hope he continues the culture-based activities and gets bigger success. 😍
I so much like him 💕 for his intelligence, laughter and a vibe that I can’t explain (maybe maturity and confidence?) — and so he becomes special to me. Not surprising: a male celeb must have many female eyes on him.
There is one song he mentioned (Daur Hidup by Donne Maula) and now it becomes my cooking or gardening soundtrack. Thank you!
Wishing him a good life, too and….
…. If meeting him in person in Singapore someday, I will treat him ice cream as much as he likes in Orchard Road 😂💕
note #1: both of them once were hosts of gossip shows that I didn’t enjoy 🙃 They’ve changed the way they discuss things – quite objective and balanced at least in the show 😁 Salute to you, both!
note #2: I created TikTok account only to watch this show
note #3: in this era human beings do not have to meet in person to support each other; just do something online and here you go!
Found a dearest good friend wrote a touching message in Instagram this evening and would love to keep it here — only in Bahasa Indonesia though
My translation into English might never be good enough to contain how compassionate her message is. You might want to translate with Google.
Note: it is a verbatim text
❣️
bertahun lalu, ketika berkesempatan mengunjungi ka’bah, aku duduk menatapnya lalu berucap: “tuhan, tunjukkan aku cara membaca (iqra) alquran. karean aku tidak percaya tuhan mana pengasih maha penyayang se-strict itu.” aku mengacu ke penekanan pada dosa dan neraka yang kerap diangkat.
sejak itu—atau sebenarnya jauh sebelumnya, aku percaya tuhan terus menjawab permintaanku: hidupku adalah tanggapan tak putus dari tuhan atas permintaan itu. dia menunjukkan betapa dia maha pengasih, maha penyayang dan nama-nama lain yang terlingkupi oleh rahman dan rahim.
aku dipertemukan dengan manusia dan makhluk lain (kucing misalnya) yang menunjukkan ragam bentuk kasih sayang, diperjalankan melalui peristiwa-peristiwa yang membantu melembutkan hati—atau menunjukkan di bagian mana hatïku masih perlu dilembutkan; dan dititipkan pada sekolah-sekolah yang secara gamblang membimbingku untuk lebih berwelas asih, berserah, dan merayakan hidup dan keagungannya.
manusia sejatinya bisa berjalan sesuai fatwa hatinya; bisa tergerakkan oleh arahan jiwa (spirit)-nya; bisa hidup dengan lebih jujur minimal kepada diri sendiri. utopis? atau bisa jadi pemikiran bahwa hal ini utopis telah membatasi kita?
banyak yang ingin kuceritakan. bukan untuk mengajarkan, karena siapalah aku ini. namun, lebih ke berbagi. siapa tahu ada yang mengetuk hatimu, lalu kau mengetuk hatiku kembali. Sama-sama kita belajar menjadi manusia.
ingin bercerita, tetapi belum tahu bagaimana. kutaruh tulisan ini di sini sebagai langkah awal. atau, mungkin, kau punya cerita, kegelisahan, pertanyaan, atau ide yang bisa melanjutkkan pembicaraan ini? terima kasih.
❣️
Thank you, dear friend. You’ve touched my heart many times, I hope I’ve at least once done as good as you.
Friendship Is one fragment of life That keeps me alive. It hits me so warmly With friends' openness. It hits me so sadly With their secret battles.
There is a way and There is the other way To meet again Always one day.
Fauzia Fatchan or Fau or Uud is a great friend of mine. She was one supporting badass in uni time; she was an objective wall between those cheating and those with integrity. Her critical thinking would make those cheating to know their “no worth” and at the same time make those with integrity to humbly stay composed.
She’d been my best discussion buddy in all topics! Politics, social, economy, culture, religion, spirituality, education, poverty, conflict free mineral, business, sex, romance, etc. She would tell me I was misled when I had insufficient data to say my analysis. She would tell me excellent when my opinion outsmarted hers.
She yet would laugh her shits out when I broke my heart romantically.
“You are more valuable than those underestimating you or ignoring you!” That was a voice echoing until now.
She is the one I name a perfect friend!
I haven’t talked with her for the past 4 months as we both had been tremendously busy. She’d been managing her rare earth mine in one of big islands in Indonesia.
She is now battling against a rare disease, leaving no chance for me to hear her voice anymore.
I called her through video call by her brother’s help. I believed she could hear, she didn’t say anything but she moved her mouth everytime I called her name like saying something.
I love you so much, dear best friend.
I love you as an honest friend.
I love you as a proud Indonesian.
I love you as an extraordinary human being.
I love you as you!
Dear, Fauzia Fatchan. Even if I can not meet you again, I am honored to have lived as a human being knowing you.
See you again in eternity, my dear…
❣️
If we both have time, we will meet again, that was what you said in our last conversation.
I am sorry that I told you all my battles while you’d been in the same one, my dear. Please forgive me.
From a broken hearted friend because of your condition….
a message sent to me on Apr 24 when I was in my mother’s house, from a shipping company – could not recall what I purchased as not much shopping these days
today I picked it up when arriving home – what is it, what is it, said I curiously
ahhh!!! I purchased Elon Musk’s perfume, the Burnt Hair on Oct 14, 2022
the longest wait of a PO to be shipped in my life 😂
it is almost like burnt hair smell – maybe this is the smell of Elon Musk’s burnt hair 😂
does it worth the wait? hmmm…. for my curiosity yes, not for my olfactory system 😹
Anger, Beloved Swirling stream drawning what flow, Demolishing luck--
—
Anger can bring unluck, now I believe that.
I was furious because some people made unnecessary mistakes. Although mistake is mistake that can be fixed but covering up is another level of mistake making a mistake not just a mistake. I can never accept when people are not well treated, not well protected, ignored, disrespected.
anger is maelstrom
I still could not get rid of the patches of anger even after some hours. No sleep cured it. No food did. No nothing. I felt my body tremble whenever thinking of how those mistakes were made and so on and so forth.
This very morning I realised that my anger didn’t bring good things. It brought me heat in head, unclear thought and unlucky events. And the unlucky events were the worst as I’ve always been feeling lucky in my life.
Look what happened to me….
I queued behind a lady who failed scanning her fingerprints and facial recognition in the immigration autogate that made the waiting too long for such a sophisticated system. My Malaysia Digital Arrival Card submission failed 4 times today. My passport identification page got folded. My automatic bagagge check-in failed, with a bonus of bitter sour unfriendly female airline assistant treating my passport like a trash.
Please forgive me, dear self. Those mistakes do not belong to you and you are not responsible to bear any cost; they are those people’s, let them deal with any consequences possible.
There is pain And patience In endurance, A chemical compound That swims in blue skies, Gets sprinkled down to a pool Where Superman Is endured.
—
i met Sam who swam for 20 laps of 50-meter long pool today – she swam without stopping at all, while i stopped in the middle just because a leaf poked my goggles
Sam was 65 and she said she also started like me (not consistently moving, she even said she preferred the small pool of 25-meter long near my block) – sixtyfiiivvveee!!!
she said she pushed herself past several years before finally enjoying the 50-meter long lap with no stop back and forth for one hour
see you in two days, Sam! thanks for inspiring me with your humbleness and endurance 💕
How do you feel loved? Not so much effort, It's just a smile, Or a cuddle from a dog.
I'm loved, I'm loved Just because Life loves, Love lives Here Now.
—
before going back to Singapore, i visited my friend in Lod Tunduh – she has 2 dogs and both love me so much, wherever i sit, both will sneak around like this!
Coincidently waking up With light breath And open eyes In a good morning That calls for Another day.
Some don't know the feel And it's just a coincidence For me? How fair life is! How unfair life is!
Be blessed, dear. Be blessed everyday With the blessings That come from Every other way.
—
That coincidence often comes as blessings might have been ingrained in me, even more.
One Coldplay-big-fan friend said to me some time ago “If you have spare ticket for Coldplay in Singapore, please sell it to me.” He really wanted to watch Coldplay in many different places. Seems to him Coldplay has brought in a lot of good meanings into his life. Not denying this possibility, I have to admit the lyrics are powerful for those wanting to look deep in to their own selves.
I said “I will but it is a very thin chance knowing this band has tremendously massive lovers.”
Sorry, friend….
Yet one fine day in January one good friend from Jakarta texted me asking if he can let me buy two Jan 30’s Coldplay show tickets as he was “suddenly” assigned for a biz trip and would not make it to be in Singapore for the show. What a blow! This friend and his wife would have met me before or after the show so I was kind of upset to hear the news. Yet at the same time I remembered that one friend would be super excited to buy the tickets.
What a coincidence!
Long story short the Coldplay-big-fan friend agreed to buy two. He wanted to watch with his friend this time.
Some time after he agreed, he texted me again saying that his friend could not fly in for the show. Honestly I felt it was another coincidence as I was also thinking of going again – I found listening to “Biutyful” live was addictive to me. So, I asked if it was ok for me to buy the other ticket: Coincidently he agreed; he must have really wanted to watch with his special friend yet he welcomed me nicely.
excited in my 3rd watch! more? no, no, it was the last for the “Music of The SpheresWorld Tour”, now time to enjoy them back in Apple Music 😃
So, this time we watched from above. A very stunning view with all the well-arranged illumination and performance.
Another coincidence. My friend and I didn’t say anything about which tee to wear yet both of us happened to wear the same one: Coldplay 2023 Tokyo special edition design. Wow!
We both went crazy blended with others who were as crazy as us. I don’t know when I will meet him again after the show but I truly thank him for giving me a lesson that someone can love something (in his case a band) that he is capable of explaining almost all fun facts about the band that I didn’t even think exist. Memorizing all songs’ lyrics, knowing albums and EP contents, and so on and so forth! Thank you, KM-san! God bless you. 🙏🏼
I asked him how he could memorise all lyrics. His answer was annoyingly true “If you love something, you will remember.” Damn! I just realized forgetful is my middle name especially when dealing with passwords and where I put small stuff. 😂
Jan 31 was another merry day. My niece watched with her best friend and they stayed overnight in my home after that. Her friend is a journalist who knows how to access “Kampung Badui Kanekes” that I have dreamed of visiting. To my excitement he agreed to escort me to visit the unique ethnic group in Banten anytime I want to go. ♥️
Should I underestimate a coincidence? Or, actually there is no that that we call coincidence. It is just a lesson that we never clearly see and (hopefully) later will be well learnt.
Thank You!!!!
among all this is my favourite photo – AngelMoon❣️ BIUTYFUL!!!
Kindness, Beloved A strand of gemstones glowing. A gift for my love--
—
arriving home from Malaysia, i found a sukun (bread fruit) as a gift from my neighbours (cleaners, gardeners, security guards) for the 2nd time — need to look for things that can give them smile
In our next Next Next rendezvous We won't see but white And laughter Decorating the day. All bad times will be forgotten, Leaving early with the short memory Giving us only good times And an ease that next stage Is just another Rendezvous.
—
if we all survive by then, my best friends and i will look like this 😍 all of us will wear spectacles 😁 how sweet and romantic a friendship can be ❣️
I’m amazed Of the days Passing by like trees on a street marching fast when I ride a car,they’re forgotten. But you came like a red tree bending down Telling me “Stop! I remember you.”
I’m amazed Of the days Passing by like white clouds in the sky swimming when I look up, they’re adored. But you came like silver cloud sprinkling light Telling me “Yess…. We will meet again.”
I’m amazed Of the days Passing by like regrets deep down in this heart when seeing a name, it’s untouched. But you came like a saint forgiving me Telling me “Take care and be safe.”
——
I remember that day when I took care of 2 dogs in a construction site near my office — now they both are relocated to other construction sites 💕
a very good friend said he remembered that I used to visit dorms whose residents took care of some dogs — I’m glad that someone remembers me that way 🙏🏼 thank you so much
I am not taking care of dogs anymore, but only donate to no-killing dog shelters where stray dogs have their days free as dogs without abuse and starvation — may all dogs be happy 💕 and may the one reminding me of a good memory with the two dogs near my office be happy
I am crazy about nothing. You are crazy about her. A good combination, Let’s enjoy our own show.
——
one Japanese friend sent me a picture of Tokyo Dome of Nov 6 saying “No way you were in Tokyo Dome on Nov 6; you should have seen me among people!”
this Coldplay huge fan friend has watched in Tokyo Dome both days, one day in KL and will do in up coming 2 days in Bangkok
he said he failed to get ticket for Coldplay in Singapore
gonna be 5 times? he said he is crazy; I said “yes, you are!”
sent him my location on Nov 6 — totally different view and my concentration was to just enjoy the concert; even my friend shot my video “trance dancing and singing along” 😂
I am crazy about now and here and sometimes I lose interest to anything around me especially when there is no serious alert sent to me — ahh sorry for being so focused 🤭
Fragrance of sambac Ferries the wish to the love Reborn with new scents.
——
The death of my beloved nephew at young age (22 yo) is one extreme turning point in how I see life and what is in it.
I am not sad anymore and not considering it a loss anymore. Just drying tears and grateful smiles so — remembering how good his life was. How someone with so big mental wound could survive life by serving others in such a fun witty ways. 🥰 We now know how much we loved him and how tremendously he loved us.
Yet….
reborn
not interested in talking in group except for work;
prefer seeing life more lightly yet deeply at the same time;
choose to seclude myself by doing what I can do genuinely; if not, I will stay away;
respond to human interaction differently and it might have hurt people in outer rings; it doesn’t matter
still the same human being yet not the same anymore;
so amazed how losing loved ones can change someone so significantly. And the reality shows me whom are real and unreal, true and untrue…. 💚
Life is mysteriously beautiful.
Thank You so very much!
Alfatihah.
my younger brother’s 1st son was a newborn death; my older brother’s sons: one died at 10, the other at 22 — wishing them to be reborn with love, prosperity and luck 💕😊 you’re (always) in my heart and (sometimes) at my left wrist, boys! 💕💕😊
The bow that launches Is the arrow that is shot: An exhibit by the One That honour is inevitably Gorgeous For that Respecting From that Witnessing.
Salute to the bowstring.
——
I have learnt how to genuinely respect my teachers and other human beings even more after learning meditation in Bali Usada — I humbly thank you, Pak Merta Ada. I bow to the divine in youand all my fellow Tapa Brata participants 🙏🏼
it was a sunny day so Pak Merta Ada invited us all to end the Tapa Brata with 1-hour meditation under the blessed bodhi tree — hope health and calmness be granted to all of us ♥️
Pak Ishak giving his testimony about the noble silence, Ibu Lady his wife video shooting him — the oldest participants in this Tapa Brata 2 we all cordially respect
canang under a tree as a daily respect to it for being part of the environment protection
torch ginger is the most grown herb in Bali Usada meditation center — yummy and fragrant when cooked
💚
Three of us stayed in bungalow #4 for 12 days of which in 1st-11th we didn’t talk to each other. We just took turn of using bathroom, switching on/off light at 3:30am and 10:00pm, making sure towel racks were sunbathed, replenishing toilet tissue, cleaning bathroom. All were done in silence in between meditation sessions, physical exercises, meals and lectures. Only at the last night after Tapa Brata was officially summed up, we could not stop sharing about our life journey until 2:00am.
Tami is 32, Fitri is 33 and I am 48: I am the oldest but I am the baby in meditation — they meditated 1.5 hours without changing position, I did but could not stop “ngereog” in the last 5 to 10 minutes.
My age doesn’t mean anything with these 2 ladies of harmonious mind.
See you again, my little sisters! Anicca! 💕
ngereog literally means performing reog dance; Tami used the word to describe someone’s intense movement during meditation due to muscle stress 😂
Ibu Lady, Srimurni and I showered by the morning light right after morning meditation and no shower (yet) — Srimurni was one of those could not stop talking to me after the Tapa Brata 😄
Have a seat, dear friends. Breathe this home before our chat. Leave the heat outside. Pages of shapes and colours, Tell them to bring their best selves.
——
Coffee table books are good to make guests relaxed before longer chat with me and at the same time to lay foundation of the chat. Not all guests visit me to chill out; some do to ask for help that might make it difficult for them to start a convo, so some flash reading can help them break the ice and sometimes for the host to loop back to the ice breakers when strategising to refuse unreasonable requests. 😉
Just fyi, some people don’t easily give up “selling misery to get a buy-in”, so be softly tough; one exquisite coffee table book might not even work.
Surprisingly Life throws one surprise After another Of all types To me who is cushioned Only by submission And genuineness. How generous Life is! How intriguing it is At the same time!
Dear, Life. I don’t want any other way to love You.
——
Life is full of astonishments to me. The most recent one was when I met the architect of my Jogja base home in Jazz Gunung Bromo without planning. I happened to know that she has been the bamboo stage designer of the annual jazz festival for the past 15 years! Yes, she is an architect cum bamboo artist.
We decided to ride a jeep together to see the sunrise the next morning before she returned to Jogja and I enjoyed my jazzy night.
A short fun meet up with a friend it became.
Thank you!
🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
feeling so blessed to have met so many humble human beings in my life and it has made my life even more wonderful
How’s life, dear pearls of friendship? Your shadow flashed in the tips of these eyes All of a sudden. I wish you all good heart That shines Through the orbits Of all friendly comets That travel the universe Bringing verses About love and friendship That last forever With the expanding universe. You are truly loved And missed….
——
Brisbane 2017 with Mbak Wien, my friend back in uni the only person able to make me sit in a club for almost 5 hours in a riverbank of a Brisbane river (not sure what river it was though), yet she was not successful to make me drink but jugs of orange juice
a loving daughter and sister, a wife of a kind man, a mother of 2 brilliant boys, a rather crazy friend
when will i see you again? maybe some day when i’m back to down under
rike jokanan 
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