No! It is not unlucky number. 13 is a number indicating productivity, optimism and life long education. Who said so? Me! 😁
13 ladies —1 master and 12 false beginners— compile their writings in one book after completing a writing online class. Most of the main characters in the stories are female who fearlessly face the reality of life. This book is about how tough yet simple daily life is portrayed through special angles that others will agree that simple can be special.
Simple but special! That’s the key!
May all beings be happy. 💝
cover of our first anthology – more projects to go❣️
Regret and sorry Not easy to feel and say, Yet flushing the guilt. Look! It’s rain water pouring On the roof, sweeps away dirt.
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Ramadhan is starting tomorrow, it’s my 38th year in which I do full fasting. I’m so grateful with this achievement. Achievement? Yes! Imagine for one full month during the day we don’t drink, we don’t eat, we don’t smoke, we don’t sex, we don’t let out uncontrolled emotion, we simply hold whatever we normally let out easily with no delay. We are human beings though, we can do all those at night. Ahem!
As a Javanese Muslim welcoming Ramadhan is as special as the fasting itself. We welcome the Ramadhan with a small celebration called megengan which literally means holding (esp. the breath).
In megengan a Javanese family will deliver a basket of rice with dishes to neighbours and extended family members living separately. While each family can choose what they share, there is one must specialty in this occasional delivery so called “apem” in Javanese or “kue apam” in Bahasa Indonesia or Malay.
Apem is steamed cake whose ingredients are rice flour, coconut milk, coconut water, yeast, sago starch and some sugar.
The word apem is derived from the word “afwun” (an Arabic word) meaning apology. Why apology? In Ramadhan when a Muslim is fasting, s/he is not only holding her/himself from hunger, thirst, lust, uncontrolled anger, and exercising her/his integrity; but s/he is also recommended to contemplate her/his own “action records” for the past one year. It is not easy for one to bear the guilt during the contemplation, so it is recommended for a Muslim before Ramadhan to apologise to their family and friends or to whomever s/he did wrongdoing, to ease the contemplation process. As it might not be easy to say sorry through a naked word, Javanese Muslim will include a symbolic apology in the food called apem when they deliver the whole food package. Everyone knows what it is, what it does— it is up to each person whether or not to accept the apology. And there they go starting the fasting month with a light heart to physically, mentally and spiritually exercise her/himself for one full month.
I used to think that that celebration was a waste of food. For one week I used to see sooooo many plastic and bamboo baskets piled up in our dining table and shelves — all those megengan packages which would be eaten just a bit and end up given to our chickens at the back yard. Fyi, the apem is never wasted though as every family has different taste and ways of how to make their best apem – maybe it’s a symbol that everyone is taking the apology seriously. I used to say to my mom that megengan was more about chickens celebrating than human beings celebrating. However after I understand what is symbolised through those simple deliveries, I highly appreciate the way we Javanese hold the integrity through our humble tradition.
I used to tell my mother to not do it, but now I’ve always been a reminder to her to not forget doing it and done it myself although I’m living around those not familiar with this tradition. I normally cook some simple food for the cleaning ladies and the gardeners who are assigned in the block two days before Ramadhan. Unfortunately minus the apem, simply because I am not confident enough to make my own apem. Tried this year though and failed 🙃
I promise to myself that this year is gonna be a good Ramadhan.
Welcome, month of holding, month of exercising integrity. It might not be always easy but doable.
I’m sending out apology to all the people having felt hurt by me. I’m sorry with my heart and soul in naked words. 🙏🏼
May all beings be happy.
my private megengan in 2022 minus rice, the white one is my own first apem in life – taste good but imperfect texture 🥰
This cool boy is Indonesia’s sweetheart! The other one is comedian, the Indonesian women’s public enemy! The boy’s father is named “Indonesian’s Father of The Year” and “Father of YouTube”, he’s raised this boy since the divorce and almost everyone in our country consider he has raised his son successfully.
So hilarious and satisfying boxing game of the year! 👍🏽
What a great victory against a playboy! Thanks, Azka!
It sets, Beloved, When birds swoop in to the nests And you go to bed.
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Sunset doesn’t suddenly come. It sets as a process slowly through time. Just like this life: before birth… then birth, infant, child, teenager, adult, old, end of life — aging before the great divide coming
Some wise men said to me “death should be thought of as an ordinary thing, it shouldn’t be afraid of”. Not easy, it invites fright of uncertainty to me personally, but death has become a relevant thing to ponder at my age — I’ll be 50 a couple of years soon. 🥳 Although I am not prone to heaven and hell after life, I believe there is another cycle of life after the physical death whose quality depends on how the earth life is enjoyed and celebrated. A huge enigma!
Good thought that has motivated me to see death positively is a chance to be beautifully remembered by those loving me. I’m not afraid of being disliked by some (even those that I love) because I know I am loved by those whose life I’ve touched. Enjoying life to the fullest joyfully and responsibly is both a game and a goal at the same time. I don’t regret what I’ve done because there is always lesson behind. Now I just want to be a human being around human beings who appreciate each other properly and help each other grow.
Who doesn’t want to be like a sunset whose existence is realised and enjoyed by those who can sense the scene and the moment? No one.
May all beings be happy.
Damn! I’m being melancholic for just a bit. 🥰
hey, Sun! thank you for sharing a moment and being a reminder
Smile is a good mask Than a mask can be. A mask Masks a masking smile. What masks a mask? Or who does? Unmask! A soul has missed you.
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Sometimes she doesn’t know why she feels a blissful joy. She tries her best to find a reason but seems to fail. When people ask why she looks radiant on certain day, she will just say I love the food, I love the weather, I love this, I love that — simply for courtesy with a bit of honesty compromised due to inability to give exact reason.
Perhaps the reason is because the footprints of falling in love is greater than the scars of broken heart. Alas! It might not be. Or, it might be. Come on, it might not be. Ah! That’s not important.
Oh? She doesn’t know. And it is ok to feel that way – blissfully joyful with unknown reason like when she is falling in love, unreasonable — her love did go to that that she never ever thought of getting on the way then suddenly gone away.
Tragic comedy! 🙃
❣️
guess why happy? the salad counter is at least 50% open! eyes can’t hide a smile 🙂
Laughter is healing And killing at the same time. Lessons for two sides—
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Many people love laughing at funny jokes and at themselves. Yet secretly perhaps they feel some jokes are crossing the line. I myself don’t always tell those friends who make either impolite or improper jokes about me or about someone/something in front of me especially when I know they don’t have sensitivity to listen to others’ feedback. Bitter smiles or sharp shrugging then making effort to change the topics are my bad strategy – yes, I’m a coward and (to some extent) stupid. So far most friends know but some new people don’t (want to) know and keep acting funny with their own limits making fun of others.
There is always a limit; however some limits are not easy to define and pertaining to private life and can only be understood by the individual. Moreover, where privacy is already “co-owned” by public (celebrity, politician, spiritual leaders, etc), the limit might be vague, misunderstood or disagreeable.
Harassment, publicly, privately, verbally, mentally, physically are all not acceptable. Verbal one sounds less painful but hey! No one wants one’s family members to be fooled around and laughed out loud if it’s related to disability or illness.
And hey! A slap on the face can be medically treated especially if not severe BUT the embarrassment and resentment can sustain. Oh hey! Sometimes it can be well capitalized…. Especially in that particular place where money is the foundation of almost everything.
In a nutshell both are violence!
Punchline got punched!
Ouch! Ouch! Ooouuuch!!!
oh my God! that must have been a combination of pain and embarrassment – for both sides
Perfume, Beloved, Won’t be enjoyed by blocked nose. Eyes though see bottle, But the fragrance goes away Leaving no trace but the spray.
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Once I had a chat about “Touch ‘n Go” card of Malaysia. One Malaysian friend made what he called a joke “Life is like touch and go la. You touch then you go la. As long as you pay, it is ok! The problem is after touch and go, you realise you run out of fuel and there is no gas station there, then you are stranded in the middle of nowhere.” None of us laughed. He said “Alamak! You all don’t get it la! Boy’s joke, boy’s joke!’
Only today I can really get it. I should text him to confirm a fresh understanding. He must be happy receiving a message from a long lost friend who is now “smart enough”. 😁
I prefer not to live like “touch and go in nice cars” touching here and there for temporary pleasure then losing the ability to detach from irresponsible people who can only suck joy out from my only self through the excessively irresponsible exchange of memories. I prefer “going on foot” consciously although it looks less luxurious.
‘d only build precious memories with those reciprocally loving me and not playing touch and go 💝
Woman is human being With exactly the same rights as man to be human being. All her decisions should be respected like man’s decisions should be respected, too. It is not a privilege to be a woman like it is not a privilege to be a man, too. It is a privilege to be a woman like it is a privilege to be a man, too.
In some culture woman is discriminated based on different things, but overall the discrimination is simply because she is a woman. Don’t worry, culture sustains when human being preserves it. So let’s change the discrimination culture by promoting a non-discriminative mindset.
In some culture though woman overdoes her fight of emancipation that makes herself suffer with no gain.
There should be no fighting between man and woman because the existence of both doesn’t generate competition. It is a complimentary and supplementary relationship for one another in different levels or fields of roles and responsibilities that are agreed without discrimination, harassment or abuse just because of being a woman or a man.
Ah! It is good for her to be a woman. And I know it is good for him to be a man.
Stop ranting! Go rest. 😀
thanks for saving me, Beloved❣️we can adopt a cat, a dog or an underprivileged child! 😁not less woman by being not a wife or a mother with a childI never be in this type of changing room but yes, I get itexotic and uniquely builtoh, I’m not either of them but yes it’s my body and I love it so I take care of itcommitment and integrityto those underestimating me, thanks for staying away 🥰not only happy, be joyful❣️
Time travels with you To where good memories sit, Waiting to rejoice.
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When I was a girl, I got sick very often. Yet what I remember the most isn’t the pain but is how my family would take care of me. Of course they medically treated me either at home or hospitalised, but there was a unique way I can never forget what my mother, father and siblings did extra.
My father would chant Javanese mantra that would calm me down. My mother would wrap me with a sheet of batik cloth before putting the next thicker blanket. And of course siblings especially sisters would sleep with me the whole night.
What Javanese mantra chanted by father? Oh can’t remember! What batik, I definitely remember it and now own it for the same need; covering myself with batik gringsing when sick.
1.2mx2.3m batik cloth with gringsing background pattern of flower bouquets
Gringsing is one of the oldest batik background patterns in Java. It is thousands of tiny square with a dot in the center symbolising “sedulur papat kalima pancer” (literally means 4 siblings and 1 core as the fifth) the cosmic balance of human reality in Javanese wisdom. And through the philosophy it is believed that when a Javanese human is sick, s/he is cosmically imbalanced and needs to be balanced. Physically s/he is medically treated, metaphysically s/he is cured with gringsing the balance symbol.
Gringsing is an acronym of gring or gering (sick, not well, ill) and sing (not); gringsing means not sick anymore. Oh! That simple! Made by hand! Oh! Not that simple!
What a blessed human being!
wrapping body when catching fever doesn’t replace paracetamol, it’s to recall the memory of how my family well treated me when I was sick 🥰detail of gringsing: a tiny squarish scale with a dot in the center – sedulur 4 ka-5 pancer
Across rainbow bridge, Wings bring a tiny light up High to where it glows.
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I’m surrounded by animal lovers and rescuers. Every now and then I see how they struggle with animals in pain or death. It’s not easy each time those friends have to say good bye but at the same time they learn again and again that the best end is by releasing sincerely and being released sincerely.
Happy journey, Dear. Thanks for all the lessons you have taught us.
Alfatihah 💝🙏🏼
bye, Item; see you across the bridge 🥰 alfatihah 💝
Today I had a lunch chat with a colleague. We discussed about this and that and of course how we both grow more grey hair, more fat and of course more wisdom.
happy to work with those having courage to tell when it’s right or wrong, with objectivity
I remember when I was 30’s I said to him I was so afraid of growing old alone. Now I’m growing old alone and I’m not afraid. Today I said to him that I’m afraid of dying alone and he lightly said “No one wants to die with you or with anyone else, girl! No one!”
I laughed and said “Damn! you’re right!”
And I made a good decision right during the convo that I won’t be afraid of being alone! Everything is gonna be alright!
But he said something before saying goodbye “And you’d better be a bit stingy to those not helping!”
“Damn! You’re right again!”
Life is fair but life is also not fair so we’d better know how to surf! Unfortunately, I don’t like surfing, I’m just gonna be biking!
slow down to both directions, live and die is like drawing an ♾
Honestly I prefer to name it by either feminine or masculine rather than women and men. It’s not about what’s attached between your crotch that matters by being a human, it’s about the quality attached to your spirit and contribution made to society.
So, even if someone is born a woman, she won’t be able to appreciate other women as long as she only sees the other women’s physical body measurement as the indicators. And by doing so, she does discriminate other women in the essence for having non-essential indicators to appreciate them.
Whereas, at the same time I see many men around me respect and appreciate women simply because they know those women have the same opportunity to contribute for a better life. Or else, they discriminate based on sex or even any other thing attached to the women.
Ok, let’s agree though to call today as International Women’s Day and make the spirit of anti-discrimination based on anything possible be rekindled.
Happy International Women’s Day to all women who represent the symbol of femininity and to all men who become part of appreciating agent.
from one of my good friends – I’m grateful male in my inner circle are those respecting women based on what we’re capable of doing at the same time having ability to laugh at what’s funny in reality e.g.: ladies parking 😂 oops! sorry, myself 😶🌫️
A flower blooms, dries to fall off or falls to dry at time in place for a given moment. It lives then dies. It blossoms or prematurely drops.
Some flowers are admired, some are not even noticed. Some are vibrantly coloured, some are dead dull. Some are meticulous, some are straightly simple. Some produce edible fruits, some the poisonous.
It’s about flower, the beauty in itself, although most view points perceive the look differently. Absolute beauty sits where it is, lingering forever as values and concepts. Relative beauty fades away through aging, some even without being remembered as memory or history.
It’s about flower, the one in a palace and that in a lawn.
Salam. Alfatihah.
prominent, admired, blessedunnoticed, hidden beauty, blessedfall to dry, blesseddried and ready to decompose, blessed
It’s the sun, not she Who can be fair. Yet she tries Shutting up her mouth.
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People scold at other people, while instead they should oppose the actions. People humiliate others, while they have the same evil in their own heart. What’s that? Arrogance? Ignorance?
Today’s conversation was about why I curse the war/invasion but think that that Russian guy is a decent balancing power in the world politically. Good query from not so nice friend— It’s tiring to chat with a “sinless” religious person. 😶🌫️
It’s so much difficult to see how a wicked person can get high appreciation; and so much difficult to witness a kind person may experience very difficult life. Should I hate the wicked? Hmmm…. I may dislike a wicked who is granted so much luxury, yet how much do I know about that person? S/he might have done so much in some way that life decides to grant huge blessings to her/him. So, how much I may dislike a wicked, being just is the only choice to treat her/him. And I’m ok with it.
I might still say something harsh about the wicked if s/he is doing something unjust to me or to those I love and/or care about. Yet, I won’t do harm to her/him. Or, if I should do so, I will try to avoid the person the best I can personally (professionally I don’t like blocking people from shining). Or, if needed, with “fair” fairness I’ll reciprocate the actions against me and/or my family. Hey! At the same time I can declare her/his good points objectively….
…. if I like or most time I will just shut my mouth up forever 😁
I’m not a religious person but one suurah in the Quran has taught me well about being just in my humble life: QS Al-Maiyah:8.
translation by Abdullah Yusuf Ali on Al-Maidah:8 O ye who believe! stand out firmly for Allah, as witnesses to fair dealing, and let not the hatred of others to you make you swerve to wrong and depart from justice. Be just: that is next to piety: and fear Allah. For Allah is well-acquainted with all that ye do.
be just. listen from two sides; otherwise, remove one ear of yours. and I’m still against war and violence, pal!
What can a cruel king Do when a small ant marches down His left ear canal?
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Some bad guy can be a true balancing power. 💝
Salam. Salam. Salam.
I never agree with anyone’s making war to colonialise others, war is only legit when you are defending your country – but this very guy is a true balancing power against the “big brother” who’s been arrogantly boastfully declaring one’s self as super power, world police a**!
Even though they’re weed, They’re flower, ready to bloom. Truly as they are.
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Respect each other as all of us have become us with no choice but traveling the paths we’ve agreed to sign up. Early termination doesn’t apply; life is about starting and completing what’s written.
I know, Beloved, Those words are leaves falling down, Decayed before you.
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Jika kita lahir dan tumbuh sebagai kata-kata, saya akan selalu menggarisbawahi kamu seperti kata yang saya anggap penting, meski kamu nanti mencetak miring saya seperti kata yang tak dikenal dan asing. (part of a poem by Adimas Immanuel)
I’m a tiny dot in the galaxy, a mini tiny dot in the universe but I won’t give up praying that You will give peace in the heart of every human being on earth.
My prayer is for the children, elderly, disabled and animals where violence is hell on earth. That is the real hell.
Happy, Beloved, Return to office saying “Hi!” to real bodies
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My first day working in office after 23 months working from remote workplace felt like my first day joining the company. Excitement and thrill, this time with clarity, calmness and strong ground
Although not many, I met people in real bodies not their avatar.
Thanks for the new day!
frozen in a huge quiet space but happy! 🥰🥰🥰
on my way to the bus stop after work, I met a jungle fowl as happy as me 🥰🥰🥰 – hello, ayam hutan!
Weekend, Beloved, A bowl of green tea nicely Served cold and creamy—
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Give yourself reward for being a brave person sometimes. 😎
For an ordinary person setting a clear boundary is enough a bravery. Sometimes a passive person should tell arrogant people “You can step on my shoulders to reach your goal ‘coz I’ll support anyone dreaming high but you mustn’t step on my head to underestimate a human being ‘coz I have the same right to be respected. Please excuse me this time to be equal and forever be.”
Happy weekend. 🤩
this is a yummy weekend and….…. and this, all after weekend classes ; God bless the seigaiha pattern composer
Live once, no regret, Said banana trees. They die After giving fruits.
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the boy, the mole, the fox and the horse – them in oneunlearn, my dear…. let gomy finding me is like finding a piece of unpolished sapphire, not diamond which is too high value nor gravel which is too low – maybe it’s gonna be unpolished forever but at least I know it’s a sapphire, not diamond not gravel
rike jokanan 
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