Tag: 5-7-5

Nature, Beloved
Where I plant true self of mine
That springs up lushly.

I saw this scarf in LUSH and got charmed with its theme; it’s a natural resources map from where LUSH source the raw material of its products

Indonesia: coconut oil, patchouli oil (both my favourites)

it will be a gift to an old friend who’s been raised in agriculture family. I hope she likes it.

A Home

Learning

A home, Beloved
Is never far, it's now here
In this very heart.

I thought building a house was easier than building a relationship. In fact it was as challenging. Even with money I can’t make it happen as a home is built also with love & trust; both must be there, the absence of either will collapse the plan & block the execution.

Korine Jati, my home, was planned to be ready some time ago but with some reasons, she has to wait patiently for some time to host the housewarming with my family and friends. Reasoning was made there (and beyond my capability to handle) but the actual thing is Korine Jati’s timing was not yet coming & I have to accept it without blaming anyone in the process.

It caused me problems by then & affected some aspects of life but now I’m ok.

Bismillah.

Korine Jati is restarting & with God’s grace she shall be ready within 2025.

To all that have helped in the process, matur sembah nuwun (thank you in Javanese).

I’m not resentful; I was simply upset. It’s just the way it is.

Thank you.

Sweet Dreams

All dreams should be sweet.
They should leave beautiful trails
To be well followed.

living with acceptance is a dream

and I’ve achieved it to some extent; I’ve learnt letting go each and every day

and now I want to enjoy my life with someone who has the same project with mine: to live loving & forgiving, to die loved & forgiven

because to me that’s the only way to live happily

Still About Dreams

When dreams are calling,
Get up! The sky's the limit,
Be the wind that blows.

my dreams call the wind so they can meet you soon

❣️

What About The Dreams?

I still keep the dreams:
You're the only one to meet
When sky's clear one day.

I hug my dreams in the dark day; they will again fly to find home when the wind sweeps clouds away

💙

🥰

Love

What's love, Beloved?
It's what she does and becomes.
As red as ruby--

I love jewelry; these are a set of ruby I bought in Scott Market in Yangon, Myanmar in 2018

so many gemstones made my eyes wildly browsed all possibly affordable ones

i bought sapphire, ruby, jade and amber that have become my precious entertainer cum advisor when I’m lost.

gemstone is not only beautiful but also symbols of wisdom and beauty

Thank you❣️

Blue

Learning, Poetic, This Person

What's blue, Beloved?
Tranquility. Sky and sea
As calm as can be--

painted my nails blue to keep my spirit on and on and on

it doesn’t matter if people say I just look wise but actually unwise — I’m not wise indeed ☺️

I only say what’s aligned between my head and heart and even my belly

☺️

Why?

They ask, Beloved
Why repeated the same thing?
Based on what you do--

why I say the same ideas repeatedly, only moving the point of view?

because those are the things I not only know but also embrace, internalise and experience in life

saying something I don’t truly know and feel and walk feels like not stepping on the ground

❣️

Clear Glasses

Clear glasses, my love
With which colours and shapes seen
Are cleaned everyday.

it’s both the glass container and the glass spectacles should be clean to see clearly

exactly like one person’s action and the other’s perspective

❣️

Kitchen Calls

Kitchen calls, my love
Those in love with life and taste
And the folks in heart.

today’s ifthar with so much love

we call it bothok not the Botox injection — it’s tempeh, anchovy in grated coconut + santan wrapped by my hands in banana leaves 😍

sayur asem (sour soup) normally the sourness is from tamarind but today I used buah kedondong peel

Japanese cracker that I love always

still the Bac Ninh oranges

kedondong

Today’s Joy

What's for today's joy?
Colourful and full of taste
On a wooden tray

today’s ifthar

salad for fresh evening from my fridge

kolak (stew of sweet yam, aloe vera and sago pearl) from my kitchen

orange from Bac Ninh, Hanoi

steamed rice cake from Bengawan Solo

Loved? Fulfilled?

Stacking oranges
Shine on a fruit container.
Loved fruits to fulfill

Love has many languages: more than 5 to express it. Fulfilment has only 1: getting/giving what’s wanted.

Fulfilment can be the feeling of getting attention, receiving compliment, passing a test, making a relationship, owning a dream house, invited to important events, getting this or having that.

But love…. I still feel my father’s love although he passed away > 20 years ago. I feel my mother’s love although she lives far away. I still feel my siblings’ love although we don’t talk with each other everyday. It’s the time & moments we’ve cherished . It’s smiles & jokes when gathering in our small dining room. It’s their hi through WhatsApp asking where I am & telling me to be well. It’s the reconciliation after small fights. It’s the blood that I can’t unflow from this body. It’s the karma to serve in the same family. The prayers that I know sent through whisper & breath every time we remember each other. My best friends are included, too.

I constantly need love; without love I will lose hope & die in despair. It stays in the heart & soul, fueling the journey of human being in the making. No expiry date for love: beyond time & space.

I need fulfilment in certain timelines. No big house forever. Not much money forever. No jewelry forever. I won’t need this body forever. The best limit for fulfilment is “in moderation”, “enough” & yes it’s based on my own evaluation.

I claim this shallow mind about love & fulfilment. I’m learning.

Thank you.

Note: This might not work for you. Find your own life treasure within.

💗

About A Magic

This love, Beloved,
Blooms to shine within and out.
Don't discriminate.

how deed is your love?

I love. Yes I do love….

…. but very rarely romantically up to this age (4 times).

Among the rare romantic love, what was the most magical?

It was when I fell in love with a (maybe) gay man.

Don’t judge me; I didn’t know he was a gay. Don’t judge him; it was his choice.

Love is love. It is still worth appreciating. I respect everyone’s choice of life including one’s sexual orientation & gender identity (some of my friends & colleagues are in that group) but I am not a person to be in a romantic relationship with LGBTQ no matter what.

Thank you, Love for the experience. I’m lucky to have a big heart. I believe my heart is even now deeper and more spacious with the magic that has happened to me.

Alhamdulillah.

😊

❣️

Journey

Learning, Poetic, This Person

Journey, Beloved,
To the line where I started,
Timed with acceptance--

some people think when an effort doesn’t result in what is targetted, it means a loss — to me it is not a loss, it is a lesson learnt not to do better to win but to know how to let go more immediately, gracefully with less pain

no, not all can do that earlier — some people are just loving to compete against anyone in their journey not knowing it is a silent journey, they think any lane with others present is called a race

no, not all can do that earlier — some people think they are much more superior that can consider themselves excel in everything not knowing that they silently are left behind by many authentically much better in most aspects of life

”m sure everyone will be able to do it when the time is coming

it doesn’t matter, we’re all children of life

☺️

Note: negating, denying, ignoring: patterns that slow down maturity process

Peace, Joy

Peace and joy, my love,
Cheerfully dances with smiles
Or dives to the deep.

my dolphin earrings today reminded me that life should be experienced with some taste of peace and joy

Wisdom

Wisdom, Beloved
Mothers who are born the last
By daughters called life.

a book from Periplus Plaza Indonesia – good to read during a massage with Mbak Idah

Jakarta has given me a short delay from a fast-paced life.

❣️

About Believing (ranting)

Learning, love, This Person

Doubt and trust, my love,
Between which I wait for you
To sing a love song.

While knowing makes me clearly decide what to do, believing keeps me walking even when it’s pitch black or blinding bright.

Believing is not about taking something with evidences. Believing is taking things for granted as there is no choice while I should keep on. As long as evidence is not yet well presented, it’s believing, not knowing.

What do I believe most in life? That there is only one able to help me, the one I often call beloved, my love, dear love, you. Yet I’m shaken now & then by what’s called doubt. Doubt moves the graphic of trust up & down which is normal as said by a master “the faith is up & down”.

In uncertainty, do I still believe of salvation? Yes, I believe in salvation as I don’t know if it is happening or not. At the same time I make space for doubt so I’m humanely questioning myself whether I’m doing well in clarifying the ways. There’s something I miss when in doubt & the space in which I miss always gives me hope, a feel of falling in love with something that I believe will drop wisdom to the heart.

How beautiful the collaboration of belief & doubt is! It ignites love. Love is an eternal flame that sparkles dancing depending on how trust & doubt tango. Without the existence of both, love will look like a marble slab: cold, hard, mute; while a flame: warm, soft, dynamic.

I know in order to keep love & wisdom rekindling as long as I live, I’ve got to believe in the one I often call beloved, my love, dear love or you that sometimes resides so deep in Him or Me.

What a rant!

at that age (below 30) I believed that all were good with lil doubt and as a result I was cheated, lied to but at the same time I gained kindness, endurance and silence

now? kindness, carefree, clarity as these 3 are most needed to live a human being’s life lightly and genuinely

my formula, not applied to all

keep believing that love prevails

😊

Eyes Closed

Eyes closed, Beloved
Blind her for love far away.
Tell her to go home.

today I’m called to go back home to my own heart full of love — love is blind taking me too far away from where I should be

I always think love is beautiful even when it’s so preoccupied with one object so alien for me, that way love lovingly and softly wakes me up after some time “Rike, time to go home, this might be someone else’s place, not yours”

with unsteady steps I had to accept that all the info is confirmed that I need to go home

to where I should be:

my dear heart full of love singing truly about who I am and who will be my home outside my own home

let me take care of this loving heart and calmly step on the love path, truly, genuinely, naturally….

keep singing love, dear self; there is nothing more beautiful than being natural, genuine, kind and true

keep loving

Blown Away

Learning, love

Blown away, Beloved,
By how much love I receive
From points of compass.

blowing love to the air, breathing

Heart

This heart, Beloved
Lives a limited timeline.
It can't wait too long.

I believe you can guess which one is today’s star: “sambel goreng kentang hati sapi” 💕

deep frying the Brastagi potato

heart that gives a kick!

the hardest work today after work

in Singapore it’s called “Indonesia potato”, in Indonesia we call in “Brastagi potato” aka “kentang Brastagi”; it won’t break when deep fried not like other types of Australian and American ones

Water

Water, Beloved
Splashes with this body's moves
And the wind that blows.

finally I take picture of the water I soak myself in

Carnation

Carnation, dear love
Blooms in February for you.
It vibes with this heart.

Sometimes

Sometimes, Beloved
This heart screams so hard, your name.
Echoed in silence.

sometimes I want to share what I feel but even to the closest friend a secret is a secret….

Love

This love, Beloved,
Is a pack of hope and fear
Sailing in the heart.

loving you is like playing swing: fun of my hope and fear, nervous of your anger and confidence

I’ve felt gaslighted but then you said you’re gaslighted; maybe I don’t know my value…. But I think it’s because you don’t care about anything

🙏🏼

A Home

A home, Beloved
The stove warms food and water,
The fridge cools the fruit--

4 Elements In Me

I'm water, my love
Living with the soil and air
Burnt by this blue fire.

To me clarity is more important than belief. With belief I might grab in the dark, to some level of darkness I might be frantically euphoric or falling into abyss of confusion. With clarity I can appropriately choose what I need to do & when further blessed, to do it appropriately.

Clarity is gained through many ways, as many as the heart in life. I myself like to think I clarify myself about myself based on how 4 nature elements (water, air, soil & fire) purify themselves.

There are few ways to gain clarity/purity in each but I’d like to talk about one for each.

Water naturally flows to clean itself; flowing to filter what’s in through its movement against all odds (stones, holes, debris, etc). By filtering for clarity it means I need to pass by at the same time to let go a lot of things in life to be clear (& clean). Like river, I receive materials from various sources that possibly contain unnecessary or unfavourable matters & I need to choose which to stay & which to get rid of. Flowing is leaving some behind & taking necessary some ahead. I’ve let go a lot of memories & people.

Air circulates what’s in. By circulating for clarity it means I should not stop sharing. The more I share (material, knowledge, vibes, etc), the more I find clarity in life. Like air, this person needs to vent, too. I tell stories, write, rant, talk, argue, discuss to verify information accuracy.

Soil decomposes what’s in. It breaks things into minuscule or even atomic pieces & blend all in one environment. Like soil, I don’t mind dealing with rotten and/or damaged things (ideas, gossips, accusation, prejudice, etc). Sometimes I swallow the worst leftover. Rubbish can turn to gold! Is it possible artist here? (Not the artist in Bahasa Indonesia’s artis, it is the seniman)

Fire heats to purify itself. Like blue fire I sometimes feel of having the most life energy (oxygen) & the motivation (high temperature). I clarify by motivating myself & others. I often don’t need external voice to motivate myself. I can be rather stubborn against change: sometimes only my will can change my ways. Learning from own mistakes is good: getting burnt 😁

Clarification leaves waste (emotions) so I need to deal with it by treating them well.

Note:

I’m more water than fire. I’m more soil than than air. I’m more air than fire. I’m more water than soil. 😊
This idea is original but murky; might not work for you. Find your own way to be clear about yourself.

One Word

One word, Beloved
Expressed to draw emotions
That flow out of cells--

trapped

torn

zigzagging

slipped

Life Is Just Like That

Learning, life, Poetic, This Person

Life is just like that.
It is round, square, triangle
Seen from three angles.

Life is just like that.
Like what?
Like what I’ve never thought but I can handle it by letting go.
I thank Gusti Allah for making me a human being so I can experience being human who lives as an ordinary person, maybe less than ordinary 🤐

It is everyday lessons come and go. Some challenging, some lighter. Some are leveled up or completed, in fact some are repeated. Repetition of lessons means that a human being fails to accept what is favourable to now here and to let go of what is not favourable for the soiritual journey to achieve clarity about being human. I’m one of this that’s why I learn from all of you. ☺️

As much as I want no repetition of mistakes though I will accept life as it is, still with kindness. Kindness to whom? To myself and to others although being kind to myself might be a delayed kindness to others — it doesn’t matter, it is just about time or perception.

Photo: Yes, I will always be seen half or less than half by those who see themselves partially: either good or evil, not even a sweet arrangement of those two.

Life is just like that. ☺️

Loved Love (ranting)