Knot

A knot is a safe
For love to bind a promise
Until time is up.

I bought the gold knot stud earrings in Madrid, a place making me realise that a most stunning place can be the least safe one

when buying it, I didn’t know the meaning of knot: they just looked stunning

only when ending the 20-day solo travel in some EU countries, I know the knot stud earring means love and unity

beautiful!

Sunday, Fun Day

Weekend in Hanoi means walking around a lake, this time the West Lake. It was fun especially when closed with facial treatment in one local spa, May Spa.

Hanoi has a lot of spas named May but my friend said this is the “original” May Spa. Ok, I took the chance to relax there with facial treatment.

Hoa, the one doing the treatment was a polite woman who did her job very gently and thoroughly. Thank you, Hoa.

Let’s face the next week with the vibe!

with the daughter of the spa owner, cute!

Nature

Nature, Beloved
Where I plant true self of mine
That springs up lushly.

I saw this scarf in LUSH and got charmed with its theme; it’s a natural resources map from where LUSH source the raw material of its products

Indonesia: coconut oil, patchouli oil (both my favourites)

it will be a gift to an old friend who’s been raised in agriculture family. I hope she likes it.

A Home

A home, Beloved
Is never far, it's now here
In this very heart.

I thought building a house was easier than building a relationship. In fact it was as challenging. Even with money I can’t make it happen as a home is built also with love & trust; both must be there, the absence of either will collapse the plan & block the execution.

Korine Jati, my home, was planned to be ready some time ago but with some reasons, she has to wait patiently for some time to host the housewarming with my family and friends. Reasoning was made there (and beyond my capability to handle) but the actual thing is Korine Jati’s timing was not yet coming & I have to accept it without blaming anyone in the process.

It caused me problems by then & affected some aspects of life but now I’m ok.

Bismillah.

Korine Jati is restarting & with God’s grace she shall be ready within 2025.

To all that have helped in the process, matur sembah nuwun (thank you in Javanese).

I’m not resentful; I was simply upset. It’s just the way it is.

Thank you.

Sweet Dreams

All dreams should be sweet.
They should leave beautiful trails
To be well followed.

living with acceptance is a dream

and I’ve achieved it to some extent; I’ve learnt letting go each and every day

and now I want to enjoy my life with someone who has the same project with mine: to live loving & forgiving, to die loved & forgiven

because to me that’s the only way to live happily

Still About Dreams

When dreams are calling,
Get up! The sky's the limit,
Be the wind that blows.

my dreams call the wind so they can meet you soon

❣️

What About The Dreams?

I still keep the dreams:
You're the only one to meet
When sky's clear one day.

I hug my dreams in the dark day; they will again fly to find home when the wind sweeps clouds away

💙

🥰

Love

What's love, Beloved?
It's what she does and becomes.
As red as ruby--

I love jewelry; these are a set of ruby I bought in Scott Market in Yangon, Myanmar in 2018

so many gemstones made my eyes wildly browsed all possibly affordable ones

i bought sapphire, ruby, jade and amber that have become my precious entertainer cum advisor when I’m lost.

gemstone is not only beautiful but also symbols of wisdom and beauty

Thank you❣️

Blue

What's blue, Beloved?
Tranquility. Sky and sea
As calm as can be--

painted my nails blue to keep my spirit on and on and on

it doesn’t matter if people say I just look wise but actually unwise — I’m not wise indeed ☺️

I only say what’s aligned between my head and heart and even my belly

☺️

Why?

They ask, Beloved
Why repeated the same thing?
Based on what you do--

why I say the same ideas repeatedly, only moving the point of view?

because those are the things I not only know but also embrace, internalise and experience in life

saying something I don’t truly know and feel and walk feels like not stepping on the ground

❣️

Clear Glasses

Clear glasses, my love
With which colours and shapes seen
Are cleaned everyday.

it’s both the glass container and the glass spectacles should be clean to see clearly

exactly like one person’s action and the other’s perspective

❣️

Kitchen Calls

Kitchen calls, my love
Those in love with life and taste
And the folks in heart.

today’s ifthar with so much love

we call it bothok not the Botox injection — it’s tempeh, anchovy in grated coconut + santan wrapped by my hands in banana leaves 😍

sayur asem (sour soup) normally the sourness is from tamarind but today I used buah kedondong peel

Japanese cracker that I love always

still the Bac Ninh oranges

kedondong

Today’s Joy

What's for today's joy?
Colourful and full of taste
On a wooden tray

today’s ifthar

salad for fresh evening from my fridge

kolak (stew of sweet yam, aloe vera and sago pearl) from my kitchen

orange from Bac Ninh, Hanoi

steamed rice cake from Bengawan Solo

Loved? Fulfilled?

Stacking oranges
Shine on a fruit container.
Loved fruits to fulfill

Love has many languages: more than 5  to express it. Fulfilment has only 1: getting/giving what’s wanted.

Fulfilment can be the feeling of getting attention, receiving compliment, passing a test, making a relationship, owning a dream house, invited to important events, getting this or having that.

But love…. I still feel my father’s love although he passed away > 20 years ago. I feel my mother’s love although she lives far away. I still feel my siblings’ love although we don’t talk with each other everyday. It’s the time & moments we’ve cherished . It’s smiles & jokes when gathering in our small dining room. It’s their hi through WhatsApp asking where I am & telling me to be well. It’s the reconciliation after small fights. It’s the blood that I can’t unflow from this body. It’s the karma to serve in the same family. The prayers that I know sent through whisper & breath every time we remember each other. My best friends are included, too.

I constantly need love; without love I will lose hope & die in despair. It stays in the heart & soul, fueling the journey of human being in the making. No expiry date for love: beyond time & space.

I need fulfilment in certain timelines. No big house forever. Not much money forever. No jewelry forever. I won’t need this body forever. The best limit for fulfilment is “in moderation”, “enough” & yes it’s based on my own evaluation.

I claim this shallow mind about love & fulfilment. I’m learning.

Thank you.

Note: This might not work for you. Find your own life treasure within. 

💗

About A Magic

This love, Beloved,
Blooms to shine within and out.
Don't discriminate.

how deed is your love?

I love. Yes I do love….

…. but very rarely romantically up to this age (4 times).

Among the rare romantic love, what was the most magical?

It was when I fell in love with a (maybe) gay man.

Don’t judge me; I didn’t know he was a gay. Don’t judge him; it was his choice.

Love is love. It is still worth appreciating. I respect everyone’s choice of life including one’s sexual orientation & gender identity (some of my friends & colleagues are in that group) but I am not a person to be in a romantic relationship with LGBTQ no matter what.

Thank you, Love for the experience. I’m lucky to have a big heart. I believe my heart is even now deeper and more spacious with the magic that has happened to me.

Alhamdulillah.

😊

❣️

Journey

Journey, Beloved,
To the line where I started,
Timed with acceptance--

some people think when an effort doesn’t result in what is targetted, it means a loss — to me it is not a loss, it is a lesson learnt not to do better to win but to know how to let go more immediately, gracefully with less pain

no, not all can do that earlier — some people are just loving to compete against anyone in their journey not knowing it is a silent journey, they think any lane with others present is called a race

no, not all can do that earlier — some people think they are much more superior that can consider themselves excel in everything not knowing that they silently are left behind by many authentically much better in most aspects of life

”m sure everyone will be able to do it when the time is coming

it doesn’t matter, we’re all children of life

☺️

Note: negating, denying, ignoring: patterns that slow down maturity process

Peace, Joy

Peace and joy, my love,
Cheerfully dances with smiles
Or dives to the deep.

my dolphin earrings today reminded me that life should be experienced with some taste of peace and joy

Wisdom

Wisdom, Beloved
Mothers who are born the last
By daughters called life.

a book from Periplus Plaza Indonesia – good to read during a massage with Mbak Idah

Jakarta has given me a short delay from a fast-paced life.

❣️

Dwellers

Dwellers, Beloved
We are in this space, searching
What's known yet unknown;
Or, what's unknown in fact known
By a searcher who's been searched.

love is in the center of my searching in which I’ve been dwelling in this space with the sun, the moon and the stars

I’ve been searching myself who’s sitting patiently, radiantly knowing that I am longed for by the lover

thank you for the love that you’ve given to me through all those around me: human beings, non humane things and those unseen but sensed, and those unseen and not sensed

Eyes Closed

Eyes closed, Beloved
Blind her for love far away.
Tell her to go home.

today I’m called to go back home to my own heart full of love — love is blind taking me too far away from where I should be

I always think love is beautiful even when it’s so preoccupied with one object so alien for me, that way love lovingly and softly wakes me up after some time “Rike, time to go home, this might be someone else’s place, not yours”

with unsteady steps I had to accept that all the info is confirmed that I need to go home

to where I should be:

my dear heart full of love singing truly about who I am and who will be my home outside my own home

let me take care of this loving heart and calmly step on the love path, truly, genuinely, naturally….

keep singing love, dear self; there is nothing more beautiful than being natural, genuine, kind and true

keep loving

keep loving

keep loving

Heart

This heart, Beloved
Lives a limited timeline.
It can't wait too long.

I believe you can guess which one is today’s star: “sambel goreng kentang hati sapi” 💕

deep frying the Brastagi potato

heart that gives a kick!

the hardest work today after work

in Singapore it’s called “Indonesia potato”, in Indonesia we call in “Brastagi potato” aka “kentang Brastagi”; it won’t break when deep fried not like other types of Australian and American ones

Sometimes

Sometimes, Beloved
This heart screams so hard, your name.
Echoed in silence.

sometimes I want to share what I feel but even to the closest friend a secret is a secret….

Love

This love, Beloved,
Is a pack of hope and fear
Sailing in the heart.

loving you is like playing swing: fun of my hope and fear, nervous of your anger and confidence

I’ve felt gaslighted but then you said you’re gaslighted; maybe I don’t know my value…. But I think it’s because you don’t care about anything

🙏🏼