graphs of my Universe
What's best, Beloved?
The one assigned to you now.
It's one and for all.
she is not the best mother compared to others, might not even better, but i think she is the best assigned to me
it’s great to talk to my mother now and then; please live healthy and longer, Ibu 😘
Beloved,
It is about whether or not
The path is walked.
Not about prediction,
Not about opinion,
Not about hurting or getting hurt,
Not about giving up,
Not about result.
This journey is
Mine.
The destination is
You.
The end is
Heaven knows.
Today’s dinner
please don’t judge hungry stomach — today was another reading, cooking and eating plus a bit of napping, laundry was missed and will be done tomorrow night after office 😎
this plate is a work of 3-hour labor of an amateur: potato perkedel (potato hash mixed with minced beef), fried rice with corn in Balinese sambal matah & teri kacang (my 1st attempt soooo challenging, too sweet, almost giving up, next time better with different recipe) – yay❣️
i made chicken soup for my own soul and my friend sent me sourdough from her bakery — alhamdulillah….
RAMBUTAN!!! 😍 exotic tropical fruit
It's confusing.
Tell me how
I should love
You.
Is it to shine
As a sun does?
Is it to glow
As a star does?
Is it to reflect
As a moon does?
Is it to pass by
As a comet does?
I'm none of those.
I am now loving
You as the space does,
It is to contain
Your existence,
Embracing what's all
In and about
You.
Tell me how
I should love
You.
RC Gorman’s work of art
My life
Is a drop of dew
That glistens and freshens
The life of a sleepy leaf,
Woken up in a beautiful morning
To greet the sun.
I fall to the tip of a grass leaf
And break
Becoming
Spurt of water, so tiny
Enough to shower less than an inch of dry land
Then come through the soil gently
Finding a way to the earth veins,
Traveling back to the sea.
thank you, life for always making me nod to the simplicity of accepting what is
Sweat is
Either from hard work
Or from
Nerve.
Feel its particular heat and movement on the skin
To find which.
old that i love the most — i can’t count how many times i tripped and fell with her, just catching or sometimes racing with the wind; i wanted to give it away to my nephew but never happens as i so much love this powerful Blue
my frequent commute buddy when i am not on taxi or bus
colleagues who commute by bikes will shower (again) in the office before starting working because of sweating but i won’t
i let my sweat dry by the AC 😁
biking is in my blood, from elementary until senior high schools and sometimes in uni i did move around by bike — i only totally stopped riding bike when i was working in Jakarta where cars are more preferred even if the traffic is heavy
my friend was in biz trip in London and brought one home for me with much cheaper price compared to Singapore’s — new, lighter and brighter and fancier than Blue but sometimes too shiny for me to move around so she doesn’t get frequent outting; i’ll bring you out more, Red and maybe someday i will give you away to my nephew so you will be ridden more for functional fun
thank you, life for opening my eyes every now and then with or without sweating
A book, Beloved
Soaks a soul in clean water.
Washed off and refreshed--
I read a book by Haemin Sunim, Love for Imperfect Things. It is second book from him I’ve read, the first was When Things Don’t Go Your Way. While the latter felt like diving into my own understanding of life– a set of confirmation of what I’ve done and/or understood in life; the currently read is like a playful garden to me, giving me more space to reinterpret my life based on Haemin Sunim’s point of view.
I’ve stopped reading “heavy books”, those that make me more intelligent with bunches of upgraded sciences and knowledge, more critical towards others’ (different from me), more analytical around my folks (outside work), more rigid in forgiving those “making mistakes”. I am now trying to dull the knife in my mind, I’d love to have curvy corners that will just give slight sensation without wound when bumping or bumped by my fellow human beings.
💕
Yes, I am now a weak book reader, but I am an avid reader of my own heart and life.
This book reminds me that I should be bonding myself to an anchor called compassion in life so whatever happens to or around me, it is always love and kindness that become my basis of judgement and decision.
thank you, Haemin Sunim — how grateful i am to have read this book
Most books I am now attracted to are fiction, short books, those illustrated, colourful, with picture collection. I read some biography but only of my favourite people (now reading Alan Rickman’s).
Not a fan of “self help” books either as I don’t need to be helped, just need to sit together with a company to listen and to be listened to.
every chapter is as powerful as decades of dripping water that forms a smooth hole on a rock 💕
thanks to my favourite person for recommending this book; i wish to see you soon 💕
Continuing reading Haemin Sunim’s next book–
Good view, Beloved
Gives her bright vibe and clear hope.
Saturday fever--
the view in female outdoor pool shower — Saturday can’t be more fun and brighter with heliconia
If I'm to follow,
It's only to follow you.
Do you mind me to?
the sun, sunflower and a weekend
My life is poetry
I recite in solitude.
As short as Basho's haiku,
As long as Bhagavad Gita--
No ears are to hear,
No critic is to review,
As private as a fetus in the womb, dearly loved--
As hidden as an unexplored cave, well protected--
There will be time when it travels out
To a place called a meadow of flowers
Where words become meaningless,
Senses truthfully shout.
That day I'll recite my life
To that whom I truly endear.
That day I'll sing my song
About the love I truly adhere.
a humble life is a tiny drop of water pushing out ripples on a placid pond– hidden and loved
Looking for one face behind the cloud,
I meet a smiling sky whispering
"Land and meet one while your feet are on the ground."
Dear sky,
How paradoxical this dream is!
I've dreamt of a perfect angel
Only to find that the perfect is a real sample of imperfection.
How paradoxical this fear is!
I've been afraid of imperfect ghost
Only to see that the imperfect is a real specimen of perfection.
How paradoxical that both perfection and imperfection reside in the same home!
Step by step
I crawl down from the bed
And go to the garden
Where I guess singing birds are hopping from one swaying twig to another,
Butterflies are flying around bright coloured flowers.
What I find is silent dews gliding on sleepy leaves,
Dragonflies perching on tips of coarse leaves.
They're though real and I befriend with a verse of beauty.
Dear sky,
Always bring me naked truth with which I can be real.
Thank you.
it’s not where i want to find you; if you’re there, i will immediately leave you because it mustn’t be the real you
💕
Do you walk or do you fly?
You're gone with memories,
Forgotten through yourself.
Do you melt or do you evaporate?
You disappear from busy days,
Buried by yourself.
Do you love or do you mock?
You hide behind the light,
Escaped into yourself.
Do you know or do you not?
You become yesterday, today then tomorrow,
Celebrated as yourself,
Dear time.
picture from Pinterest
Silently I pass by,
You gracefully nod to me
Like my mom waving hand at me.
Lotus,
You're there observing me
And others living so busy.
You're mute witnessing
How hectic human's life can be,
No second can be wasted
To earn
Yet every breath is missed
To learn.
lotus in the hotel court yard
in silence witnessing life
Your style's, Beloved
Yours that cajoles her to move
Current point of view.
i’m not a fan of French style but this hotel makes me feel home in Hanoi so i accept the style as it is and make it my preferred hotel
Roses,
You are bright
As bright as her eyes
When finding the way
And she's relieved.
Roses,
You are shiny
As shiny as her hair
When reflecting the sunray
And she's radiant.
Roses,
You are prickly
As prickly as her mood
When getting hurt
And she's fiery.
Roses,
You are wild
As wild as her rage
When becoming uncontroled
And she's sorry.
Roses,
You are quiet
As quiet as her composure
When realising the truth
And she's calm.
Roses,
You are muted
As muted as her body
When taking a rest
And she's refreshed.
Roses,
You can be everything
As complete as her existence
When getting enlightened
And she's humbled.
everytime in-room dining is served, a stem of rose in a vase will accompany the food
once done, the tray will be taken back and i ask for permission to put the rose in the vase in the room
and at the end of my stay there will be roses as many as how many times i choose to dine in the room than to go out (recently being evening lazed mode on)
And so does it, Love
Doors closed are blessings to those
Needing to move on.
duck never fails me….
….and so does mango salad
oh so fresh and refreshing, gone in less than 30 minutes; let’s move on…
Tongue tied, Beloved
Seeing you're celebrating.
Wishing you from here!
a north star is where you find an answer
She's calmed, Beloved,
By evening breeze and shade.
Simple as breathing--
i’m back to my preferred hotel, not the hotel on the lake; this is Hoan Kiem lake where i love to just sit on a bench by the lake for a while before going back to hotel for dinner or having coffee or dessert
should i or should i not?
Lucky, Beloved-
A path cleared to be walked on
With warm heart and smile.
i received a bunch of luck today: in the same flight with a colleague (sorry, i didn’t check iCal, buddy), given a room whose number is ended with 88 which is lucky number in Vietnamese culture, finding this song again after some time
hopefully i am lucky enough with all my preps to complete the work well
luck is simply small things to be humbly acknowledged
hello, Hanoi; you’ve been kind to me, i’ll be kinder to you
It’s you my favourite thing, not what you have.
What you have can be yours but can’t be you.
💕
how i love Yuna is equal to how i love Yura
I wish I know
You better
So there won't be useless tears falling to long for
You.
I wish to meet
You now
So there won't be useless words
Uttered in secret for
You.
I wish to be with
You, too
So there won't be useless thought dancing restlessly for
You.
But I won't force to be with
You soon
As the timing is predestined by and arranged for
You.
counting my falling hair before finally meeting you
💕
Everything, dear self
Has its own time, no delay.
There is never doubt.
when my doubt is unbearable, i will open the Quran and ask to be given one answer to my doubt — after some short meditative moment; i will randomly open a page and the first part that i see or point with my forefinger, i will simply take it as the answer
and this is the most recent one when i asked about doubt “…. and He has appointed a term in which there is no doubt.”
it might be a coincidence that the “no doubt” appeared to me when i asked about doubt
it is not a scientific process to make a decision, but i choose to believe it because i don’t want to lose the ability to rely on intuition in time when logic cannot help
it takes practices and acceptance to embrace this simple (speculative) way of making decision, and it takes humility (for a logical person like me) to humbly believe
thank you, Gusti 💕
Dear kitchen,
I promise you
To love you
As long as
You let me sing
While cooking.
grilled saba from my kitchen and friends from outside (i ate 1.5 saba….)
i’m crazy about deep fried & carrot – all from my kitchen
the chicken in the heart shaped bowl is garang asem, favourite! my kitchen loves me!
Want I
To be surrounded by
You
Where laughter is generous,
Thought is serious,
Confidence is contagious,
Maturity is glorious.
How merry
To have conversation hilarious!
Once in a while though days look rigorous,
That's when it is to my senses obvious,
To my thought serious
That you're famous
Surrounded by
Thousands of those
Marvelous.
Sigh I.
surrounded by beauty
If I were a scent,
I would be herbal.
If I were a scent,
I would be flowers.
If I were a scent,
I would be sandalwood.
If I were a scent,
I would be musk.
If I were a scent,
I would be sea breeze.
If I were a scent,
I would be mountain dew.
What other scents could
I become?
Floral?
Oriental?
Woody?
Fresh?
If I were a scent,
I would be anything that's
Loved to breath in by
You.
Ripples call you, Love
To go back home and sit still
Through questions and doubts.
ripples
i started learning spirituality from my father
that he made mistakes, yes but i still respect him as a human being who regretted his wrong doings then taught us how to dive in to the depth of our own selves
he was one of those teaching me that what we do is like an object falling on to surface of water; the heavier the gravity, the bigger and farther the ripples will occur
the volume and distance of the ripples will be affected by the weight of the falling object and also the stillness of the water….
…. analogically a still heart will be able to better catch subtle ripples than a moving heart can do
i hope i am gifted with good senses in a still heart so i don’t have to wait until something “bad” happens to stop my wrong/inappropriate actions/doings — in Javanese we can call it “janma limpad seprapat tamat”
Trace of a sweet heart
Resonates across the earth
With its clear fragrance.
ripples will not stop until edge of the lake and will reflect back to the source
Ripples of her love
Widely travel to the edge
Of the universe.
ripples
Zero's, Beloved
Count erased, leaving nothing.
Peaceful in motion--
shunya: zero, nothingness, void, emptiness, a state of awareness in which the mind is brought to complete stillness, perfect harmony, neutrality, peaceful calm
enso = shunya
many think zero is meaningless, which is wrong
it is a number that brings a lot of meanings
zero is an important number that enable mathematic to progress exponentially, it is a number between negative and positive, it enables formation of whole numbers and decimal numbers, it represents a place with no amount or value
good discussion today at lunch break with some jokes and wittiness
Living light, dear love
Gives her a flowing river
And peaceful meadow.
live a true life responsibly and lightly day by day is a great wisdom i found in this late 40’s — damn, i’ll be 50 by end of next year, yeah yeah! 💕
Three that cheer, dear self
Gather in a space to laugh
And plan other dates.
you can share our pic, just blur it, ok? 😎
done, ladies
gathering in SW’s apartment
my favourite ladies: they drink without getting drunk, i get drunk without drinking
all ranting and nagging about our getting older together; i love you, ladies❣️
past midnight (2am) kept us more awake
thank you, ladies; i need to catch the ferry this morning at 7:40 to be back to my work in Batam so i need to sleep soon — gather again next year either in Jogja or Taipei
one slice for three
sourdough from JC’s new bakery in Taipei 💕
rike jokanan 
You must be logged in to post a comment.