graphs of my Universe
Go jazz, Beloved
Improvise on your own path
Where hidden seeds grow.
—-
Jazz is like secret love, confusing and almost unknown at the first catch but wrapped in harmony through time… and space? Seems space never takes my side. 😎
Jazz each day up!
⭐️
Forward, Beloved,
To the North Star. Ride the wind.
Ignore the thunders.
—
⭐️
How are you, Yellow?
Happiness, warmth, sunshine, or
Other perfect fits.
—-
Nature never fails to convince me that all are beautiful given appropriate angles. Not all love winter but with the yellow crocus growing in the middle of white snow, who will say no?
Yellow isn’t my favourite colour but the yellow crocus is one of those I’m wanting to see with naked eyes to witness Mother Earth’s generosity even in its coldest period.
May time lets me explore more places on earth.
🐣
SIN – May 25, 2022 / 21:57
For granted I take
The green, the blue and the red
Until they turn grey.
—-
Sometimes I’m thankful that I’m not given opportunity to have children. I can’t imagine what playfulness and nature exploration they will have in their future with very minimum real nature around. I’m thankful. 🥰
Sometimes I’m broken-hearted that I’m not given opportunity to have children. I can’t agree on how some people raise their children. I egotistically imagine how well I would raise them to be human-respecting and nature-loving generation in the family tree. I’m selfish. 😐
Meanwhile I’m always feeling lucky to be me, born when and where nature was willing to introduce her excessive bounties, grew up when and where human interaction was real and warm, working when and where human right and environment protection is a paramount topic. I’m blessed. 🥰
♥️
After one Monday,
Throw laughter before Tuesday.
Or at least a smile,
That draws a line on a face,
That strengthens steps miles away.
—-
Laughter brings brightness. It carves good mood. It (hopefully) enables longevity.
Sunset, Beloved,
Gliding, hiding in the night
Blanketing the day—
—-
Night and day are protecting each other, a complete package, a balance of duality.
Happy weekend! 😇
A kite, Beloved,
A bird all wings soaring high—
Rain, don’t fall too soon.
A kid is running, laughing.
Peaceful sky, joyful earth. Here.
Singapore – May 19, 2022 / 00:26
A smile, Beloved,
Not to or for. It’s just there,
A ready bounty.
—
All the lyrics and the music — lyrics were recited, music was listened to. Those lyrics and music were so beautiful that they invited the best smile of the day. A smile that appeared like a good shape coming out of a foggy morning in the moorland. Until some reality struck, telling that those were directed more to a head than a heart, and to somewhere else.
Uh oh!
Well! A smile must still be kept. It is a grace, an alms, a bounty, a gift, a bonus, an appreciation; or from hidden wisdom formed through sedimentation of things annoyed yet forgiven. Or probably a smile is a package of lyrics and music — sweetly flowing. Aaah! Must be appreciated!
Put a best smile on the face and world will smile, too.
May all beings be happy.
😊
Time zones, Beloved,
Limit spaces with blurred ends.
Illusion that jails.
—
One hour makes things different.
Dear, time…. Thanks for the space you just gave for what’s called holiday. Please bless me with nice pace and good vibe again and again like always.
If I forget about your kindness, please remind me gently as I’m fragile. If I take you for granted, please remind me that I’m traveling between your two points: start and end.
Thanks again.
Me that is blessed with both negative and positive yet trying to balance at the zero ❣️
Today, Beloved,
Filled with laughter of past times.
Bitter was, sweet is—
Time doesn’t heal. It turns taste,
Look. All is well. All shall pass.
—
Rendezvous with my best people, those who are always with ears to listen and to be listened to, with tongue to twist bitterness to wisdom, with foolishness to laugh at what’s not even funny but needing some appreciation.
Some people are amazing with just one reason called trust.
Blessed to have them.
Holiday is getting shorter. Let’s slow the steps and insert more meaningful conversations before it halts.
May all beings be happy.
TA – May 12, 2022 / 11:46am
You? Where, Beloved?
The omnipresent through air,
Undefined calmness—
Breeze that caresses the leaves.
Breath that blows prayer for you.
—-
🐣
I’m a nut
In a gigantic machine.
Even if I’m missed,
The machine still works wonder.
And so be it.
I’m a grain of sand
In a far vast sand dune.
Even if I’m missed,
The land still spreads wonder.
And so be it.
I’m a drop of water
In a cask of wine.
Even if I’m missed,
You’re still having happy hour.
And so be it.
I’m one in billions
In this spinning plane.
Even if I’m missed,
It won’t mean less greater.
And so be it.
Life is so fragile
Yet so dense
Like a spider web
Wrapping a prey
Before it’s dissolved
Away….
And
You are
Written in this tiny matter—
….. so be it.
—-
Temasek – May 4, 2022 / rainy morning, 4:50
A wise teacher said:
If you have a space for shelter,
A plate of rice for meal,
A job for a living;
That’s when you’re blessed.
I couldn’t say a word
To deny.
It’s true
And
Only true.
—-
Enjoy!
I learn
Life is about counting gates of moments.
It’s not what I celebrate,
It’s how I celebrate.
They call it this,
I call it that,
It’s a day dyed with red, blue, yellow
Yet
Really the day won’t describe its own color when asked.
One more day to celebrate!
—-
It’s not unusual Ramadhan is closed on different days by different groups of Muslim esp. in big country like Indonesia. One group may close Ramadhan on 29th day, the other on 30th. It’s not a big deal (although some noisy people like to debate about it) but it’s not simple things to explain. Overall the difference is due to 2 different methods of seeing the crescent moon visibility in the horizon – one group is using mathematical astronomy (computation), the other physical observation (telescope).
This year most of my family in Indonesia celebrated the Eid yesterday, I in Singapore today.
Without further ado….
Celebrate moments that are given in life including this festivity. Every moment is a gate to another moment before entering the next gate of moment. After entering Ramadhan gate, now Syawal gate, what’s next? Any should be simply a gate to start or to restart or to continue.
Gate after gate before finally the grandest gate ⛩
once more…
Selamat Hari Raya Idul Fitri 1443H
Hi, Purple Crocus.
You must have been hugged by snow,
Now rise joyfully.
—-
How is it possible for a seed to grow if not because of a warmth hug from Mother Earth blanketed by white snow?
May all beings be happy.
I’m so blessed with such a looooong weekend that I say it again and again and won’t stop playing with colours.
✍️
Roses, Beloved
Gift born by Mother Nature.
A beau with sharp thorns—
—-
When you love a flower, let it stay in its tree until it passes away by the warmth of the day prince and the coolness of the night queen. It deserves nothing but appreciation; admiration is too fake for a shirt life of a rose.
Weekend, weekend! Very looong weekend!
🐣
Hari Kartini ki mesthi dadi dina paling dieling-eling marang bocah-bocah wedok jamanku ning Indonesia. Ngapa? Merga saben Hari Kartini bocah-bocah wedok jamanku paling ora pisan pindho nate bayakan (nganggo kebaya), jarikan, gelungan, sing wong tuwane nduwe ragat ya macak ning salon barang. Sing wong tuwane dhompete kandel ya anake ayu moblong-moblong. Sing sederhana ya wis biasa ae, ketok wedhakan, bengesan, jungkasan mening wis lumayan mbois.
Ning maknane Hari Kartini ki kok ora pati mancep lan nilas ning ati lan jiwane bocah-bocah ya? Nek diarani tokoh emansipasi wanita Indonesia, apa iya bocah-bocah sing jarikan macak nganti ayune uleng-ulengan ki paham maksude apa? Kok nganti saiki wong-wong wedok ijik akeh sing didiskriminasi kaya jamane Ibu Kartini.
Apa cukup carane memperingati Hari Kartini ki nyang sekolah utawa kantor nganggo klambi daerah mblenger ditutuli benges, sedow lan celak ben ketok medoki?
Sakjane ya kudune rada jeru ya masiya nek isane ngono ya wis ben ngono sik. Ning muga-muga ae bocah-bocah wedok Indonesia ora mandheg maknani Hari Kartini mung dadi tetenger wiyose Ibu Kartini, tapi luwih meneh maknani laire rasa setara, dudu kompetisi antarane lanang lan wedok, rasa melengkapi antarane lanang karo wedok ana ing urip iki, ora balapan, ora royokan.
Alhamdulillah wis enek Hari Kartini. Paling ora enek sing ngelingne lek wedok ki kudu piye lan isa piye. — wedok ki ora mung sumur, kasur, dapur tapi ya oleh tandur, tutur, ngatur barang. Wis piye?
Sugeng ambal warsa, RA Kartini.
Selamat Hari Kartini, para perempuan Indonesia. You’re well respected whoever, wherever, whenever you are, no matter what. 🙏🏼
You have to believe
Nature lives with you, ruling
Games in which you are.
See colours. Watch shapes. Seasons,
Patterns count the scores to make.
Fruits rot. Flowers sere.
Leaves fall. Trunks topple. Roots die.
This plant is a name
In encyclopaedia,
Memory of its climbers.
——-
This body has expiry date. I’m seeing it deteriorates in time. What will be something of me left behind?
Temasek, Ramadhan 11 / 5:55am
Sweetness, Beloved,
A limit everyone sets.
She has for good words,
Not for sugar. It is fine.
World gives space to all tastes.
————————————————————-
Life can be seen from many different perspectives. It can look bitter, sometimes sweet but the level of bitterness and sweetness is not standardisable. If someone wants to set a standard of bitterness based on her/his limit, s/he will suffer for her/himself. 😁
May all beings be happy (with different level of sweetness)❣️
There is a crystal clear ribbon
Flying through a cavity
Bringing a message
About love
To whom
I say
“This painting is made for you from the first stroke to the last dot in the artist’s signature.”
I’m mixing colours to find the best hue to paint you.
I’m balancing the real and unreal to find the vibe of you.
I’m panning my own work to find if this is truly a gift or stolen relic from you.
I keep these hands engraving
But eyes focusing on you.
All to find you.
And every second I can see myself reading another message on another ribbon:
“Is this a hide-and-seek?
Or simply a peek-a-boo?”
Ahh! You maybe only smile, enjoying the scene of how funny this could be.
——————
Up and down the hills
The feet walk, the heart stands still.
Journey of the nights—
———————————————————
Nights and days are the consequences of sun and moon fixed courses. Or is it the other way around: sun and moon fixed courses are existing due to the need of nights and days in this particular planet.
Many say day is for activities, night is for resting. I don’t deny but I have my own interpretation of activities and resting. Activity is when all my concentration is for transactional economy, resting is when my concentration is for relaxation and personal. Rest day? Of course all my rest days will become nights. 💞
Thanks for giving me days and nights.
May all beings be happy❣️
Regret and sorry
Not easy to feel and say,
Yet flushing the guilt.
Look! It’s rain water pouring
On the roof, sweeps away dirt.
—————————————————
Ramadhan is starting tomorrow, it’s my 38th year in which I do full fasting. I’m so grateful with this achievement. Achievement? Yes! Imagine for one full month during the day we don’t drink, we don’t eat, we don’t smoke, we don’t sex, we don’t let out uncontrolled emotion, we simply hold whatever we normally let out easily with no delay. We are human beings though, we can do all those at night. Ahem!
As a Javanese Muslim welcoming Ramadhan is as special as the fasting itself. We welcome the Ramadhan with a small celebration called megengan which literally means holding (esp. the breath).
In megengan a Javanese family will deliver a basket of rice with dishes to neighbours and extended family members living separately. While each family can choose what they share, there is one must specialty in this occasional delivery so called “apem” in Javanese or “kue apam” in Bahasa Indonesia or Malay.
Apem is steamed cake whose ingredients are rice flour, coconut milk, coconut water, yeast, sago starch and some sugar.
The word apem is derived from the word “afwun” (an Arabic word) meaning apology. Why apology? In Ramadhan when a Muslim is fasting, s/he is not only holding her/himself from hunger, thirst, lust, uncontrolled anger, and exercising her/his integrity; but s/he is also recommended to contemplate her/his own “action records” for the past one year. It is not easy for one to bear the guilt during the contemplation, so it is recommended for a Muslim before Ramadhan to apologise to their family and friends or to whomever s/he did wrongdoing, to ease the contemplation process. As it might not be easy to say sorry through a naked word, Javanese Muslim will include a symbolic apology in the food called apem when they deliver the whole food package. Everyone knows what it is, what it does— it is up to each person whether or not to accept the apology. And there they go starting the fasting month with a light heart to physically, mentally and spiritually exercise her/himself for one full month.
I used to think that that celebration was a waste of food. For one week I used to see sooooo many plastic and bamboo baskets piled up in our dining table and shelves — all those megengan packages which would be eaten just a bit and end up given to our chickens at the back yard. Fyi, the apem is never wasted though as every family has different taste and ways of how to make their best apem – maybe it’s a symbol that everyone is taking the apology seriously. I used to say to my mom that megengan was more about chickens celebrating than human beings celebrating. However after I understand what is symbolised through those simple deliveries, I highly appreciate the way we Javanese hold the integrity through our humble tradition.
I used to tell my mother to not do it, but now I’ve always been a reminder to her to not forget doing it and done it myself although I’m living around those not familiar with this tradition. I normally cook some simple food for the cleaning ladies and the gardeners who are assigned in the block two days before Ramadhan. Unfortunately minus the apem, simply because I am not confident enough to make my own apem. Tried this year though and failed 🙃
I promise to myself that this year is gonna be a good Ramadhan.
Welcome, month of holding, month of exercising integrity. It might not be always easy but doable.
I’m sending out apology to all the people having felt hurt by me. I’m sorry with my heart and soul in naked words. 🙏🏼
May all beings be happy.
How are you, flowers?
You’ve greeted me with colours,
Loved me with fragrance.
The canvas has been waiting
To perpetuate your beauty.
———————————————————-
Only heaven knows when the “flowers on canvas” project will be completed. Let’s take picture of flowers before painting them.
Soon! Soon!
It sets, Beloved,
When birds swoop in to the nests
And you go to bed.
—————————————————————
Sunset doesn’t suddenly come. It sets as a process slowly through time. Just like this life: before birth… then birth, infant, child, teenager, adult, old, end of life — aging before the great divide coming
Some wise men said to me “death should be thought of as an ordinary thing, it shouldn’t be afraid of”. Not easy, it invites fright of uncertainty to me personally, but death has become a relevant thing to ponder at my age — I’ll be 50 a couple of years soon. 🥳 Although I am not prone to heaven and hell after life, I believe there is another cycle of life after the physical death whose quality depends on how the earth life is enjoyed and celebrated. A huge enigma!
Good thought that has motivated me to see death positively is a chance to be beautifully remembered by those loving me. I’m not afraid of being disliked by some (even those that I love) because I know I am loved by those whose life I’ve touched. Enjoying life to the fullest joyfully and responsibly is both a game and a goal at the same time. I don’t regret what I’ve done because there is always lesson behind. Now I just want to be a human being around human beings who appreciate each other properly and help each other grow.
Who doesn’t want to be like a sunset whose existence is realised and enjoyed by those who can sense the scene and the moment? No one.
May all beings be happy.
Damn! I’m being melancholic for just a bit. 🥰
Smile is a good mask
Than a mask can be. A mask
Masks a masking smile.
What masks a mask? Or who does?
Unmask! A soul has missed you.
————————————————————-
Sometimes she doesn’t know why she feels a blissful joy. She tries her best to find a reason but seems to fail. When people ask why she looks radiant on certain day, she will just say I love the food, I love the weather, I love this, I love that — simply for courtesy with a bit of honesty compromised due to inability to give exact reason.
Perhaps the reason is because the footprints of falling in love is greater than the scars of broken heart. Alas! It might not be. Or, it might be. Come on, it might not be. Ah! That’s not important.
Oh? She doesn’t know. And it is ok to feel that way – blissfully joyful with unknown reason like when she is falling in love, unreasonable — her love did go to that that she never ever thought of getting on the way then suddenly gone away.
Tragic comedy! 🙃
❣️
Calm breeze blows her hair,
Pulls memories out of head.
Filling the fresh air—
Water soaks flowers,
Distills their fragrance slowly.
Diffusing the scents—
—————————————————-
Weekend is studying, doing laundry, cleaning home, and listening to things. Cooking? Not today, I’ll skip the healthful food 🦸🏻♀️
Woman is human being
With exactly the same rights as man to be human being.
All her decisions should be respected like man’s decisions should be respected, too.
It is not a privilege to be a woman like it is not a privilege to be a man, too.
It is a privilege to be a woman like it is a privilege to be a man, too.
In some culture woman is discriminated based on different things, but overall the discrimination is simply because she is a woman.
Don’t worry, culture sustains when human being preserves it. So let’s change the discrimination culture by promoting a non-discriminative mindset.
In some culture though woman overdoes her fight of emancipation that makes herself suffer with no gain.
There should be no fighting between man and woman because the existence of both doesn’t generate competition. It is a complimentary and supplementary relationship for one another in different levels or fields of roles and responsibilities that are agreed without discrimination, harassment or abuse just because of being a woman or a man.
Ah! It is good for her to be a woman. And I know it is good for him to be a man.
Stop ranting! Go rest. 😀
Red leaves, Beloved
Gracefully fall on the lap
Of Mother Nature,
Garnishing coloured autumn
Welcoming benign winter.
Dream, dream, Beloved.
As vibrant as you wish to,
As sweet as you want.
You’re red leaves lightheartedly
Flying decorating life.
—————————————————————
I wish all my good dreams come true. And all of yours, too 🙏🏼
Salam.
Time travels with you
To where good memories sit,
Waiting to rejoice.
———————————————————-
When I was a girl, I got sick very often. Yet what I remember the most isn’t the pain but is how my family would take care of me. Of course they medically treated me either at home or hospitalised, but there was a unique way I can never forget what my mother, father and siblings did extra.
My father would chant Javanese mantra that would calm me down. My mother would wrap me with a sheet of batik cloth before putting the next thicker blanket. And of course siblings especially sisters would sleep with me the whole night.
What Javanese mantra chanted by father? Oh can’t remember! What batik, I definitely remember it and now own it for the same need; covering myself with batik gringsing when sick.
Gringsing is one of the oldest batik background patterns in Java. It is thousands of tiny square with a dot in the center symbolising “sedulur papat kalima pancer” (literally means 4 siblings and 1 core as the fifth) the cosmic balance of human reality in Javanese wisdom. And through the philosophy it is believed that when a Javanese human is sick, s/he is cosmically imbalanced and needs to be balanced. Physically s/he is medically treated, metaphysically s/he is cured with gringsing the balance symbol.
Gringsing is an acronym of gring or gering (sick, not well, ill) and sing (not); gringsing means not sick anymore. Oh! That simple! Made by hand! Oh! Not that simple!
What a blessed human being!
rike jokanan 
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