A hope that vanishes With the forgotten true stories Of the unsung heroes, Those not buried with engraved tombstone
Dear, Elden Heroes Who are taking a break from battles. Wish us a basket of flower Full of prayer summoning The only thing left with Mother Earth: Love that glows in the heart. Wish us her love That fades all selfishness away Swiftly Like the colours dissolve from a white fabric. No trace of arrogance. No trace of greed. Only love. Only care. By everyone, For everyone Including The Elden Soldiers--
A poem for a piece of Mother Earth’s true love called Indonesia on her 80th birthday–
Thank you. You’re staying in this very heart that weeps for getting hurt over and over again yet keeping the trust in a journey called life.
💕
your promise to liberate your offspring’s life from all that occupy them was well done
would you say that what your offspring is doing to celebrate the victory is truly what you wished to be
dear, Elden Soldiers who have been either well-known or unsung….
There are ways For those hiding To stay hidden. There are ways For those running To keep running. There are ways For those struggling To forever struggle. They say they do it For those they love. They claim they do it For those they care. They pledged they do it For those they respect. Is it true? Words can lie. Numbers can manipulate. Silence can cover. Yet eyes can't bury What's sliding with tears On the face of reality.
Don't lie to me Honesty saves everyone's time. I have no time To have fun If fun is your way to hide Your true face from me. Save yourself By letting go Off the masks That you wear even when alone. Let it fall off And I will stride away With a lot of pray.
About a year, Love Where you're present and again Giving me all joy-
2024 was such a year! Thanks much for the one year teaching me again to warmly love sincerely with little to no condition: unclear hints that broke my heart. Life is not always about glory; it’s also losing to win lessons.
2024 was about sudden trips & data as professional breakfast & lunch. I see how fast I process biased opinions & immediately detour to the right path! Such a training by & for brain muscles!
2025 is about continuing my spiritual journey with the same foundation: singularity, uniqueness & humanity;
also about doing my life work with dedication & expertise;
sweet friendship with those that respect and love each other as best friend;
about enjoying long weekends in Korine Jati soon & enjoying longer holiday somewhere else;
about keeping sharing the blessings with those around me verbally, materially, intelectually & spiritually in moderation;
& knowing & loving myself again, again, again….
…. all genuinely & with light heart.
Welcome, 2025. I already feel your sweetness.
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2025
dear, monkey mind
i don’t regret but it was the most painful moment in 2024 and thankfully i was helped by my life work
i love my messy hair that gets happy with breeze caressing it and my eyes that tell even when my mouth shuts
2024, thank you for bringing Banksy’s works of art to Scotts Road
In everyday life Leaves are on trees, trees on roots; Blooms and fruits on hopes--
my everyday life is prosaic, i recompose it to be poetic so i can enjoy it with my loved ones
💕
Lyrics (softly spoken, deep and on point)
What in the world are we going to do? Look at what everybody's going through What kind of world do you want it to be? Am I the future or the history?
'Cause everyone hurts Everyone cries Everyone tells each other all kinds of lies Everyone falls Everybody dreams and doubts Got to keep dancing when the lights go out
How in the world I am going to see? You as my brother Not my enemy?
'Cause everyone hurts Everyone cries Everyone sees the color in each other's eyes Everyone loves Everybody gets their hearts ripped out Got to keep dancing when the lights go out Gonna keep dancing when the lights go out Hold tight for everyday life Hold tight for everyday life
At first light Throw my arms out open wide Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelu-halle-hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelu-halle-hallelujah Yes
Is there anyone Before & After Me Leaving Without permission?
None--
It is a consent that forms Life, A period where You & I Meet at a dot on a ring.
salam, dear shrine where heart and soul escort body to whisper all secrets
Kameyama Shrine
before cleaning – looked like birds loved to bathe and leave some feathers as token of gratitude
after cleaning – no one asked me to clean this, i just felt that i needed to give Japan a small token of gratitude and Kameyama Shrine be the one to receive it
always praying someday I can come back to that shrine. I will tell her that she did give me amazing vibe in my whole visit in Kameyama. Shrines, mosques, temples, churches and other places where human beings whisper their heart and soul out have always been a charm to me.
enso – there’s a dot where two extremes meet and form balance to ensure life flows
My breathing is poetry. It brings in inspiration, Emits meaning. My dreaming is poetry. It attracts hopes, Depicts reality. My walking is poetry. It steps on milestones, Follows you.
Coincidences, Unexplained experience In one fast crossroad
——
‘M supposed to watch Coldplay in Japan with Vito, my nephew. We’d planned the trip since May; he passed away in July. Feeling desperate and not wanting to go alone, I was about to cancel the trip when coincidently one best friend said she wanted to visit me in Singapore in the week of the supposed-to-be-cancelled trip. I offered her a free Coldplay ticket to go with me. She agreed! And so the trip cancellation didn’t happen. 💕
I am still selecting which photo of his is the best to bring. I want to take picture with his picture before, during and after Coldplay concert and wherever we would have been going in Japan.
Sometimes we live to walk on others’ dreams and those who have the dreams must let go off their dream to be walked on by others. That’s why I always want to live my life with true dedication as not everyone has the opportunity to live this long.
For those living chasing dreams, you can!
For those leaving with some dreams behind, your dreams are cherished by your beloved!
Rest in love, dear boy.
Salam.
my life is a chain of ordinary acts, rare sprinkles of drama and magical coincidences — unexplainable except that I am blessed with all the problems and solutions 💕
This heart blooms and blooms Leaving quiet budding season, Emerging from mud.
——
One of my friends complained why all my poems are about love, like I am either falling in love or broken hearted day by day.
After some time of chat and juice against wine glasses that friend answered one’s own question.
“Ya! Life is about loving: smoothly or broken-heartedly. Now I know what you mean. I thought all were about romance! Ahhh!”
I tried a sip of wine from that friend’s glass.
“You’ll get drunk more at home and write more love poems!” Said that friend laughing.
“Yes, I won’t give up this love whatever interpretation is thrown about me to me. I am thankful enough to have very few true friends who understand.”
Salaam.
true love is too tasteless for those weighing it with money; yet too complex for those weighing it with faith — for those not knowing the true secrets behind words, love is just a marriage between distrust and fear hidden in sparkling plastic 🙃 i know love is still beautiful whether it is well understood or misunderstood 💕
All cuts and bruises Paint a life of a blossom Before it decays.
—
i was so young and innocent, a loved friend of many, a hated enemy of some — i was so much blessed 💝
life has brought me travel through labyrinth of life with traps and turns that cut and torture yet i am still a loved friend of many, a hated enemy of some — i am still so much blessed with cuts and bruises 💝 i’ve lost much but i find myself
no one shall erase this happy girl within — a blessed soul that travels through space and time 🙏🏼 thank you
Life is wonderful when it has ups, downs and plateau at the right time. In fact, time is always right at least twice a day when the clock is broken. When time seems not right, it will be right by deploying the right genre— prose, poetry or drama? Your decision! 😊
Realist: Stop drama now.
Me: Oh! You mean I should not use acts and scenes?
Married, Beloved, To your shadow that follows Wherever I go.
Divorced, Beloved, From your doubt that hunts and haunts Wherever I hide.
—-
One very long chat decorated a night. A childhood friend did sharing about what she had experienced when we were away for about 10 years, busy with our own life. This is her promise to tell the full story after giving hints and looking puzzled when meeting me.
She married thrice. First husband died of illness. Second abused and cheated her and so they divorced. Third one, this one has brought a lot of stories and enlightenment.
How she finally decided the third after the traumatic second has strengthened about my own lesson in life – acceptance. How she lets a seemingly perfect person be with her imperfect figure does add amazement about one of my loyalist. How she ignores words and stares from people disapproving her behaviours has told me she is still girl going foraging in the wild with me in our lively early age.
She hit me with some bitter comments about my complicated points. She ridiculed me for being so guarding and distant from risking broken heart to happen. She also highlighted how her love transforms to friendship that I would have not believed can happen to her – she is not a “friendship-friendly” type of person, she is a snapping turtle 😑
There are things she has regretted about all 3 decisions but the regret has brought her to a final realisation that her life has shaped her into a composed, mature woman strong yet flexible enough to be beautifully bent by the hardship of life. The pain pays off, she said. What a beautiful creature my dear friend is! 😘😘😘
This weekend has given me another package of lessons from our childhood. A blast from the past!
Weekend is still long. I’d better have more fun!
May all beings be happy! 🙏🏼
the commitment on paper needs realisation in 3 dimension reality with soul and trust – red torii in progress
Breathing in Breathing out The air is flowing Pumping freshness to the blood Pushing the recyclable out.
Time units are agreed. If passed, something is overdone. If missed, something is given up. If right on, moment is created.
Breath is my chosen time unit That I prudently save Between two points That I travel in.
How many will I take? I don’t even know Or how many have I taken? I’ve lost count.
It’s as accurate as your digital timepiece, Or as elegant as your mechanical winding. Our time is as precious, Yet we count with different tools.
Alas! Don’t ask me to walk faster Just because you run. Don’t tell me to stay put Just because you sit.
Life is short Yet expensive to lament If we don’t cross the path, It’s simply because of Simple word: Decision Because Fate sometimes doesn’t seem to fit. Whose decision? I don’t know. I’ll just breathe Until the sun moves in reverse.
Know not, Beloved This path about to end when And where. I trust you.
——————————————————-
Trust is what she’s been holding tight because without it she’s lost the grip against so much magnetic force around that will pull her into a gaping hole, where greediness can consume anyone till no end.
Thanks, Beloved, for giving me a life that’s imperfect but perfectly humbling me in many ways.
I trust You; voluntarily or forcefully.
💞
a song that touches my heart like a tiny leaf falling on a placid lake 💝 thank you
Her life, Beloved, Perfectly-directed film Ready for Oscars—
————————————————
She sometimes forgets that life is a performed script in which she is casted to act out a given role the best she can. She should follow the director’s direction and directive.
What about spectators? She should ignore spectators. Spectators are stars whose job is to see and comment on the film. And they pay for what they see and comment. The payment goes to the stars!
So, dear Star. Fix your moves. Better your expression. Tag your ears with the melody. Live in harmony, with your own self like JavaneseBedhaya performers who are meditatively drowned in the sacred composition.
Garden, Beloved, Fertilized with poisons? Dead! Cinder rose goes off.
———————————————————
A group call with my brother and sister in law is mostly either stupid or crazy. Once we talked about the old time passing and our addiction.
How someone gets addicted to something is mostly started from a physical or mental exit of pain— either clinically prescribed or personally decided— followed by excessive dependency on the substances or the activities.
I’ve seen how people addicted to medicine (I was to pain killer), drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, etc have changed from beautiful human beings into ugly persons either physically or mentally. It’s how awful co-dependency shapes someone’s life. Moreover, there is no addiction in any history that brings true happiness or freedom.
Three of us then discussed about someone who was addicted to something unusual: spiritual drills. Having all resources, the person went shopping on various classes and workshops about spirituality and self help such as meditation, mindfulness, tapping therapy, money magnet and how to optimise it spiritually, how to activate chakra, yoga and blahblahblah, gemstones and their spiritual power, mandala and spiritual awakening, how spiritual life pull financial abundance, spiritual traveling around many places, etc. One had been in one’s 60th class last time we met. One would be able to answer all questions in any possible ways. I called one ‘Mr/Ms Know All’, a euphemistic nick name that might be loved by those addicted to power and authority. Some friends called this person “Mr/Ms Spiritual Junky”.
What I remember about this person is that no one around was genuinely appreciated, everyone was just a “who-are-you-you-think-you’re-better-than-me”. One called most of one’s friends “cantrik”, a Javanese word that literally means follower/helper and would never be up to one’s level (one called one’s self healer and universe map reader).
How ironic! From someone who were full of compassion to someone who were full of envy and insecurity—
I think many if not all people to some extent were once addict who learned the lessons and changed the patterns to be free from co-dependency. My brother was a heavy smoker, been stopping for around 3 years. My sister in law was a Korean drama freak and quit. I myself was addicted to those I fell for and heavily overthinking.
“I almost got addicted to someone again.”
“Let go! Let go! Let go!” said they to me like cheerleaders.
Definitely! It’s a waste to wait for emotionally unavailable people to care that I care about them. I’m ok to get soaked in love and compassion but not in addiction to people. 💝
Addiction, oh addiction.
Alfatihah to all of those who are addicted to anything in any situation. Be healed and blessed.
are they addicted to gadget or hugs? so clingy, damn…. 😂
Murky, Beloved, That pool’s full of mud and smell. Enough to kill fish—
—————————————————————
There is a proverb in Indonesian “ada udang di balik batu” literally “there are shrimps behind the rocks” that means there is a hidden (fishy) agenda.
I’ve received some invites from “unclear” people in Instagram, most are men that I believe scammers trying to lure a victim whatever they are aiming at from me; maybe as simple as attention or most probably money. And how did I feel? Disturbed? Not at all. Scammers are equivalent with friends with hidden (fishy) agenda— they are sources of entertainment either directly connected or just ignored.
God bless you all scammers. You’ll find a way to get a big money with your work, plus the logical consequences but not from me.
May all beings be happy.
barbecued pomfret – finally the fish (not from murky water) was served after some situational vegetarian period 🥰sambal dabu-dabu, a specialty from Manado, North Sulawesi, Indonesia – I can never finish the archipelago culinary experience 🥰
Time flows, Beloved, To an estuary of hope. Time flows, Beloved, To the eternity sea. Won’t be long before we meet—
Time flows, Beloved To you through me. White beacon Blinks red at low tide. Wind says the woodlands miss me. Time flows, Beloved. Thank you.
—————————————————————
Don’t take too long a time to fix an issue. Time wisely travels with those willing to appreciate a journey through action taking along with wisdom harvesting. Otherwise, it will bulldoze what’s not solved.
Dear January. I know you’ll transform with me who doesn’t want remedial lessons next year.
Thank you, 2021. Welcome, 2022.
Bismillaahirrahmaanirrahiem….
💝
nothing is forever, let go of all that are not serving for my highest good either interest or ambition
no one is perfect, accept the dark side of my own self and learn all lessons either pleasant or unpleasant
balance is feasible only when mental detachment and appropriate acceptance are achieved, I claim the balance
No cane, root can be. Woods’re a case where food’s stored Use your axe and fire.
—————————————————————
My fridge had not much for me to cook. There was only green here and there. Alamak! What to do?
Limitation is where creativity waits to be picked. Let’s do the experiment. Just don’t burn the kitchen.
Ahhhh! My roasted potato and pumpkin soup turned to be exactly the same as those served in 5-star restaurant. Really? Might not be but…. Sorry, my tongue comments what my tongue tastes. 😁
Alhamdulillah. May all beings be happy.
situational vegetarian – no meat, cook what’s left! 😁not much in the case, while I’m hungry! 😌
A door, Beloved, Reflects a host. Open, shut, To which wind sources. Or affects a host? Can be. Decision and reflection—
————————————————————
Know your door, Beloved. Some winds are good and calming, some strong and disturbing. Not all winds should be welcomed. Close your door if you’re not ready with cleaning and tidying in your home.
😎
These five senses are doors, too.
Welcome, Tuesday! I’m welcoming you with warm heart because you’re a nice wind to this home.
🍃
gebyok entrance – Javanese traditional teak wood art
Fasting, Beloved, A space where you’re meeting me To interpret life.
—————————————————————
Fasting is a very common practice for a Javanese. I started at six but saw the real benefits of fasting only at 20’s. At 30’s for around 5 years I skipped recommended fasting due to congested biz trip schedule before finally I realised of losing good healthy days.
Intermittent fasting has helped me a lot with heart health management. There are more benefits though for those who are in either good or bad health. Hundreds of journals and articles about it are easy to browse in the Net.
Side effects? For those not familiar with fasting, they will get lethargic or headaches in the first some days (for me not at all), dried lips (come on, you can put lip balm) or the worst probably people will get cranky when hungry 😁
To a rather romantic person intermittent fasting is a space where one can contemplate about life, love, problem before finally laughing or at least smiling with or without tears finding that everything is not coincidentally met. Everything is systematically designed, reasonably put, no coincident, no accident. And space is where one can see the broken pieces come into a big picture.
Just need a space. I respect your space. 😎
May all beings be happy.
today’s breakfast in the intermittent fasting – lekker!
rike jokanan 
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