graphs of my Universe
There is a tall tree
Greeting the sky with its green,
The earth with its white.
β
There is only one choice left: grow! Whatβs grown within affects whatβs grown without and the other way around β all in unison. Liking it or not, I grow as the sole way.
Colours make a day
Worth celebrating. Live it.
Donβt regret a bit.
β
Terraced hilly fields
Build levels, reduce runoff.
Beautifully strongβ
β
Good roots are strong roots
Supporting those on the soil.
They wonβt be betrayed.
β
This trip is incredibly beautiful. Meeting best friends is more than anything. We talk. We laugh. We eat. We visit places. We engage with people.
One of my best friends who will be my neighbour in my humble abode is one of best human beings Iβve ever known. She lives to humbly serve humanity. She dedicates her life to help the underprivileged. She is so patient about what others do to her and always in understanding mode. She is so passionate in doing what she is doing to help others.
Among all her non profit projects that are my favourite is opening library in a small village that is functioning as youth center at the same time and supporting buruh gendong (traditional female labours who are paid to carry things either by sellers or buyers in Yogyakarta traditional markets, most of them are senior) in some traditional markets in Yogyakarta. If time allows me to live as long as I wish, our agreement is I will teach free classes of English, Japanese, leadership and management system in her youth center, while occasionally going with her from one market to another to greet the buruh gendong. Yet as an artist she is also teaching (mostly) women on how to make artistic products for sale to support themselves financially.
In this trip we discuss a lot about what we should do to ourselves and others but we canβt because of immovable blockages. We also talk about how we can feel good no matter bad a situation is. We talk about what will happen if the youth are not aware of what lies in their future at the same time we concern about how children around us get mature faster than we did before. And all always last long although with only a glass of tea, a cup of Javanese coffee and some pieces of local snack.
Life is too precious to focus on what doesnβt serve us good anymore. Life is too short to lament of any loss that is truly never loss. Life is too grand to just be sad of how that that we love disrespects us. Life is just too beautiful to consider what is not real.
So thankful for how real my best friends are in helping others. So thankful to be part of their spirit. So thankful that we are ordinary people in this grand life. So thankful that we are a grain of sand in the vast shore. So thankful that we accept who we are. So thankful that we are strong roots for each other.
Thank you, dear friend. It is good to always have a question βso what is our plan and action?β π
Alfatihah.
Ripples break the face
On the lake. Beauty remains
In the loverβs heart.
β
A teacher asked whether there could be two Layla for one Majnun.
Everyone in the class knew the answer. There is only one Layla for one Majnun. That Majnun and that Laylaβ
Salaam.
Deaccelerate,
Accelerate on the road.
Life is not a race.
β
Fasting is a very familiar way of life to Javanese. Called pasa or poso, fasting in Javanese culture is always related to the effort to self align. Many Javanese like doing fasting with or without meditation (tapa brata or topo broto) depending on their commitment.
While Javanese Muslim do at least one month of fasting per year in Ramadhan, fasting in Javanese culture itself came even much earlier before Islam was introduced. While in Islam fasting is between dawn to dusk and the same restriction is commonly applied to all kinds of fasting, Javanese fasting is more varied both in term of period and restriction.
Fasting helps Javanese slow down the pace in their mind, regulate the speed of their ambitious behaviour upon life goals, train themselves to be patient.
There are several kinds of fasting in Javanese culture that are still practiced by relatively many nowadays.
1. Regular fasting
This fasting is done only from dawn to dusk like the Islamic fasting. This is a common practice, many Javanese parents use this kind of fasting to train their children about how to manage their immediate excessive desires and concentration in under pressure situation. I remember when we were elementary and high schoolers, we were instructed by parents to do fasting on Monday and Thursday during yearly school testing weeks. Yes, I felt more focused on my study as I had to prioritise tasks to save energy. Brilliant!
2. Mutih
Mutih is derived from the word putih (white in Javanese, Indonesian, Malay). During this fasting, a person is restricted to eat other than white rice and fresh water for 24 hours started either at dawn or dusk. Ordinary Javanese can do it for one day, three or seven. Yet more advanced (usually senior) Javanese would extend the period as per commitment.
3. Ngasrep or nganyep
Ngasrep is derived from the word asrep that means cool or cold; while nganyep from the word anyep means tasteless. In this kind of fasting the food and drink should be all cool and tasteless. The person is suggested to eat only boiled vegetable without adding taste (salt, sugar, oil, sauces, etc) and drink fresh water. It is mostly done in three days.
3. Ngrowot
Ngrowot is a word derived from the word krowot that means Javanese common carbo source except rice. The person who does this fasting will only eat carbo non rice like sweet potato, suwek (konjac), gembili, gembolo (English pleaseβ¦.), taro, cassava and other tubers.
4. Ngebleng
Ngebleng means staying in; so doing this, a person will do regular fasting but very limited food intake allowed without leaving room or house, not meeting anyone, just doing meditation or doing household chores without distraction from anyone. Someone can do it three and seven days and forty days. Not many are doing this as this is a challenging one: not easy to find a place. This fasting is quite heavy because it does not allow sufficient food intake for a long time.
5. Pati geni (pati: turned off, geni: fire)
It literally means βfire turned offβ. This is the highest level of Javanese fasting as the restriction applied really tests the personβs very high commitment: s/he is not allowed to eat, drink, sleep including fall asleep and see any light both artificial and natural. How long? The shortest is 24 hours, maximum unlimited. Note: if s/he sleeps or falls asleep, s/he has to restart the fasting.
There are other kinds of fasting in Javanese culture which were done by very limited people and have been left by many due to the impracticality such as pasa ngidang (from the word kidang or deer) in which a person is only allowed to eat raw foliage like a deer, pasa ngalong (from the word kalong or bat) only eating ripe fruit from the tree, pasa kungkum (bathing up to chin level either in the pool, river or shallow sea) without eating or drinking, etc. There are probably other kinds of fasting as Javanese used to be very creative in βfasting engineeringβ hahahaβ¦.
Javanese believe that with fasting they will connect better to themselves and inevitably with the ultimate power of the universe. They will usually become confident people without showing off. Those fasting committed people βif doing it right and without evil intensionβ will be a highly spiritual people and voluntarily dedicated to environment and people.
Javanese believe that this type of people bring blessings to the surroundings although blessings are not always tangibly seen. The blessings can be as simple as peaceful daily life with little conflict,
Do we still have many of them? In very silent villages around Java island we might still find a few. They are traditional farmers who feel the need to connect with the ultimate power as only that can help them manage their humble farming that is now severely industrialised and exploited.
Hope we still have them in silence. Amen.
Alfatihah.
See you, dear neighbour.
The old prays, the new welcomes.
Good memories stay.
β
One of my neighbours move to a new place as they need an apartment with 3 bedrooms after having a new baby. We met at the basement carpark when they were stuffing cartons and stuffs to the Lalamove lorry.
The wife gave me their new address that is near my office so it can be easy to visit them someday.
We pray for your nice warm new home. We bless our 4-year neighbourhood. Thank you.
Salamβ¦. ππΌ
A dream is shadow
Who is loyal to the light,
Acting as the dark.
β
Weekend is always the second best after everything even when it is cloudy and full of rain everyday. π
Letβs meet
Under a tree that we climbed when we were children.
The tree will say
βHere are the children who perched like birds the whole day to eat my fruit.β
Letβs meet
At the river whose bank we used to build sand figures.
The sand will say
βHere are the children who tap and slap me to look stunning.β
Letβs meet
At the crossroad where we departed to where our bikes agreed to go.
The road will say
βHere are the children who noisily negotiated which place to visitβ.
Letβs meet
Once again before the next once-again.
The rendezvous will say
βHere are the children who have refused to lose excitement in life and continued to be young in heart,
Even when age has taken some muscles away.β
β
Weather is changing,
Sky isnβt. Furniture does,
Space sits still smiling.
β
No condition changes space. Itβs there, might look temporarily conditioned sometimes but simply because some furniture is busy βstirring the airβ. And sky is just there being the canvas of weathers which come and go.
Itβs fun to observe and silently enjoy each moment of truth.
Salaam.
My mother said
You were a cute baby
Even when crying.
My mother said
You were a beautiful toddler
Running around,
Bubbling all words.
My mother said
You were a cheerful girl
Cycling around
Climbing up trees
Playing drowning in the river.
My mother said
You were a beautiful woman
Arguing every ideas from me
Showing me your strong desires
Moving to where life brought us.
My mother said
You are an adult woman
Enjoying life differently from me
Giving me what youβve promised to be
Loving what you love with no doubt
Living life with smiles and warm heart.
My mother said
I love you
I bless you
Wherever you are.
Youβre loved
Youβre blessed
However you are.
β
My mother called, we laughed a lot today. She said I laughed as I did when I was a baby. How happy I have been to be her daughter. Lots of hugs and kisses, Ibu.
Alfatihah.
π
A path to a place
Is walked through trees and uphills.
A meadow is waiting
Opening another path
To a warm home filled with love.
β
My friend sent me three photos of our beloved βsimbahβ (those senior people who are considered wise or those who have grandchildren) – Javanese). Most people call these simbah βbatik makerβ because they make batik to earn a living. We both call them βbatik artistβ. More than that through what weβve seen and heard about them, weβve considered they are artists of their life. How they embrace their humble life gracefully and consciously has always amazed both of us. They live like calm river flowing to the sea. They donβt struggle against what others think about or do to them. They live as if there is no hindrance and disturbance in life.
When my friend told me some things about those three honourable ladies, I secretly harvested some lessons. It is very critical reminder for me who is still very much attached to a feeling of (accidentally) underestimated and (slightly) humiliated because of one petty case. These three artists of life have silently told me to let go.
What a loud shot in a quiet weekend!
No apology is needed. All is gradually let go through my own wish and willingness. This is my life and I only want to be the artist of my own life. π
Thank you, artists of life. Youβre blessed. π
Salaam.
The biggest secrets
Are sitting on the eyelids
Without disguising.
β
Where is peace on earth?
In deep sea, blue sky, green land,
Kind heart and here now.
β
Dark night starts early
In fall when red leaves sway down
To earth cooling off.
β
While normally talking about spirituality and self love, one day one bestie and I conversed about money. To me she appears much more calculating than all of us in the circle. She manages her money very carefully and (of course) influences her friends to do so.
βIf we feel ready with both predictable and measured emergency issues, we can feel good in more time than not.β 100% agree!
She is one of two besties teaching us to save at least 12-month income for emergency, fully pay all the loan the soonest possible, stay liquid rather than fixed (assets), not lend any assets to anyone anymore even with oneβs emergency reason. I stubbornly disagreed with last one.
And she said all should be done soon because 2023 seems gloomy.
I didnβt take her words until watching a bunch of YouTube videos about financial analysis and forecast by experts and practitioners for the past two years.
Not hoping the darkness happens but there is no harm to prepare the umbrella before it rains.
Please save us. Amenβ¦
Loud enough and clearβ
Thunder strikes and rain begins.
Children play outside.
β
Your signs are well read, well noted, well understood. Wellβ¦. π
River flows. Wind blows.
Birds perch on a twig and chirp,
Enjoying good food.
β
Life is not really WYSIWYG, there are layers that can be peeled off like peeling off onions layered skins.
What is seen in a river? Its flow. Whatβs behind the flow?
What is felt in a wind? Its blow. Whatβs behind the flow?
Whatβs behind the singing birds? Whatβs behind good food?
Something looking like nothing yet there are powerful layers of realities that wrap another deeper level of reality. At the end of the peeled-off onion, what is it? The eyes see βnoneβ that can be immediately ignored, the self sees βthe essenceβ that can only be understood through accepting in silence.
What an experience as a human being! Maybe this is a euphoria of being alive, or being aware? This is a good time and I will always feel good no matter what. π
Thank you for everything. π
Background, Beloved,
Grass of meadow,
Water of lake,
Sand of desert,
Breeze of mountain,
Wave of ocean,
Trees of forest,
A spill of a secret.
Background, Beloved,
Without which
One canβt be
Fully described.
A signature
After yours trulyβ
β
Todayβs call was with a not so close friend who found a Facebook account she suspected as mine after seeing the account commented in one of her friendβs Facebook post. Slightly not a welcomed call but a good one to learn to be sweetly sarcastic to a public enemyβ
F: You should change the background photo. The current one if too plain.
Me: With what?
F: It should be a picture that describes you, the owner. You like flower, maybe you can put flowers? Or kitchen because you like cooking? Or books?
Me: This is not a personal Facebook account. Donβt own one; not needed. This one is for me to display gathering schedules and photos to family and friends.
F: An AirBnB wanna be?
Me: More or less but more a rendezvous place. Other ideas for the background photo?
F: Maybe Kraton Yogyakarta or its symbol. Or Merapi. Or Candi Boko. Anything associated to Yogyakarta well known tourist spots; your home can be one of a very interesting place for some people in that city, too. Eh, eh you can also put photos of Singapore landscapes as youβve been living there; it is to show people that you live in both places.
Me: The home is a humble place, too petty to represent or to be represented by those grand things. I prefer screenshooting the map of the surrounding like now. You see the Jiwa Jawi Restaurant? That is my backyard.
F: Nice! But you should give some luxury touch so people will be interested to visit.
Me: Thank you. Hey! Your background photo is Eiffel Tower! You want to live in Paris?
F: No, just symbol of romance. thatβs to show how romantic me and my spouse are.
Me: Maybe you should use Taj Mahal picture. I can give you mine. Thatβs more relevant.
F: Eiffel is more romantic to us. It represents modern romance.
Me: Oh, ok. (eyes rolled)
F: I like the name you give to your home. Whatβs the meaning? May we both visit and stay overnight?
Me: Thank you. The meaning is a door to those real or a door to those true. You may visit but Iβm sorry not for staying overnight. Iβll invite you for lunch with other friends someday. Not so soon though. Wait until I have a decent kitchen and long dining table so no one touches each otherβs elbows when eating
F: Would be glad to! May we both request special cookings?
Me: Ah! It is a friendly invitation not a paid lunch so I donβt accept request. The best will be served for sure.
F: Ahβ¦. Unfortunatelyβ¦. Weβd like some western food if there is.
Me: Ah.,.. Mostly served are local foods from different islands in Indonesia or a few Asian ones. Never mind. I can invite you only for a house tour minus my bed room because youβre not gonna like itβ¦. (smiled at the end of the line then excused myself immediately)
Boundary is important. We can be kind but not be fooled around.
Salaam.
She be, Beloved,
The space not the furniture,
Lets all come and go.
β
If only maturity could be implanted like nose or breast or whatever, I would still choose to get mature naturally through ageing and weakening although it takes almost half of century of struggling and pain to find only its gate. Damn late!
One maturity breakthrough of my life was when realising I should be more a βspace human beingβ (my teacher calls it βroom human beingβ) rather than a βfurniture human beingβ.
Salaamβ¦.
Come true, Beloved,
Wishes colouring this life,
Bringing love and joyβ
β
My mini daruma dolls package arrived from Japan. Now it is time to make wishes and draw the left eye.
May all beings be happy!
Brewed tea, Beloved,
Best sipped anytime with you
While counting the starsβ
β
Certain music composition like good friends is like well brewed tea, suitable for any occasion.
Feel good, Beloved,
No matter what. Stars still shine.
Moon and earth still spin.
—
Why are you nervous, my dear? Romance is within reach, just between breathing in and breathing out. Stars, moon and earth give you so much attention while you are ignoring them. They have done their jobs; you should do yours if you think it feels good.
May all beings be happy.
Salaam. π
White hair, Beloved,
Waves through the wind of white sword
Waved by white wizard.
β
In white hair, will I be as strong as Gandalf?
Romance, Beloved,
Turns her into a dreamer
Of a slow dinner.
β
Todayβs dinner is the longest ever I have alone: sitting in the restaurant for almost one hour not only to eat but also to enjoy a sight of two old-aged lovers enjoying dinner at a table across mine. There was no obsession of showy loving, no romantically staring each other, no hand holding, only picking food from the shared menu on a plate and a bowl s-l-o-w-l-y almost meditatively β Hmmm I mean I still dream of doing the young romance but at their age all lovers will have become βprivate life historiansβ wanting to recount memories alone in the crowd. π
They spoke Vietnamese so I (almost) whispered to a waitress serving both of our tables to translate a chunk of the chat we both eavesdropped. A couple of hackers of very ordinary topics! π
When I left the table (they were having a shared plate of dessert s-l-o-w-l-y), I smiled and waved my hand to the lady. She smiled and waved to me, too. Silently I sent my prayer gift for their health and happiness.
I think my dinner was more romantic than theirs. What a beautiful evening!
Wakey, wakey!
Time to prepare tomorrowβs work! βΊοΈ
Salaam.
These gifts, Beloved,
Peace and love hummed to loved ones
Living here and thereβ
β
One of the Javanese and Islamic teachings that I will never leave for the rest of my life is sending gift of prayer containing peace and love to my loved ones wherever they are, whether they are physically wandering on earth or spiritually gathering around life.
I believe that my passing-away ancestors are living in different levels of consciousness (call it hell, heaven or somewhere in between up to your liking) and they are watching their offsprings without being able to directly communicating with us. They deserve my gift as they have been my line to get the chance to be here now. They deserve peace and love as they have done the best they could to draw a meaningful family tree. Yes, some might have made silly mistakes but hey thatβs what Buddhism calls βkarmaβ. Yes, some might have caused shameful stains on the family picture but hey thatβs what Islam calls βalam syahadahβ. Whoever and whatever they were, all of my ancestors deserve good wishes sung to them.
I also wish peace and love to those I love still breathing the air. Wishing all of them health and happiness. π
We Javanese Muslim will send gift by reciting some Javanese prayer closed with Alfatihah, a short chapter in the Quran containing peace, love, praise, forgiving, protection and guidance. A basket of beautiful wishesβ
How light this heart is to be sure that all whom I love are well.
Alfatihah to all whom I love. Youβre loved. Youβre blessed. Donβt shop too much. π
Happy weekend!
Guessing, Beloved,
The least inaccurate points
Of mangosteen seedsβ
β
Thatβs what we call βtebak buah manggisβ, guessing game to decide whether the number of sections at the bottom of the fruit accurately matches the number of seeds inside. Mostly matching, yet this time it is not! π Life is sometimes unpredictable even with good database; anomaly is a rule whose patterns are not yet formulatable oops formulated by human beings β please excuse my English, Iβm not a native. π
Like someone we love. We thought they are 6, in fact they are 5.
Fair enough to say: seldom expect accuracy in estimation; better be sufficiently into the least inaccuracy so it wonβt drop one down to abyss when finding inaccurate things. Iβm trying to be wise as myself for myself about myself. π₯°
Oh dear, mangosteens!
Payday, Beloved,
Crossroads to 4 directionsβ
6 oβclock, good bye!
β
Ah yes! Iβve been paid with how a group of people feel proud of achieving what they thought would never happen for my persistence and never-ending-annoying questions and reminders. Iβve been paid with sweet smiles for greeting the cleaning ladies and security guards and colleagues and neighbours. Iβve been paid with my family and friendsβ laughter for the jokes that were not even funny. Iβve been paid with my colleaguesβ flooding emoji for my βdrunkenβ fingers sending auto-correct silliness. Iβve been paid by many many of those Iβve never thought of making me so light hearted more than dollars and cents.
Hey! Donβt get me wrong! Iβve also been paid with bitter rejections and secret smirks for what I did wrongLY and/or I did inappropriateLY.
And hey! Iβve also been actually paid with wages and benefits for working in a company.
Everything is worth paying and everyday is a payday.
Never look back to what was wrongly spent, thatβs my payday commitment!
Ah how I love my payday!
Of course! Whoβs not?
May all beings be happy.
Prime time, Beloved,
The best time to bloom or dry.
Not her decisionβ
β
David and Goliath were enough lesson to learn that prime time isnβt always at oneβs physical prime.
May all beings be happy
π
Time is paper
With which poems are unrolled.
My beloved said
You need pens, I give you trees.
You need ink, I give you oceans.
Write love poems with love
Until you run out of paper.
I said
I need much paper
I want as much as I want
My love poems are trillions and more.
My beloved said
I wonβt let you write forever
The last paper is not for you
It is for me to invite poets for a party
Where a special spread is ready.
I asked
How much paper will I get
Will you give me as much as I want
Will you let me write trillions of love poems?
My beloved said
Write as much as you want
Iβll give you as much as you write
Youβll get your paper for your trillions
As long as theyβre yours.
My beloved said
Be dignified, write your own poems,
As the spread will be only for those
Not claiming from othersβ names.
β
Daruma city
Youβve witnessed left eyes were drawn.
Wish me the right ones.
–
A group of people in Takasaki wished me a happy birthday in an online meeting. A real surprise that made my day! I almost cried of happiness! π₯Ί
This evening one of them went back to Tokyo and she sent me messages with photos taken in Takasaki station. Another sweet surprise!
γγγγ¨γγγγγΎγ, AWγγγγΎγζ₯εΉ΄γδΌγγγΎγγγοΌ
Looking forward to a set of daruma dolls of different colours I ordered from Amazon (because of cancelled plan to buy them in its original city). Not a real surprise but hope the dolls give me a little shade of surprise! π€©
Salaam.
rike jokanan 
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