Ocean welcomes all, River flown and rain fallen. Friends in a friendship—
—
A meet up with my first mentor training me in my current profession almost 20 years ago. He and his wife are in Singapore to celebrate their 10th wedding anniversary and spend this whole day to meet up with me: shopping in Orchard Road Apple Store, browsing around looking for my favourite Japanese restaurant that was found closed down since 2021, having lunch (Indonesian food in Singapore….? Oh my) walking around Orchard Road, taking MRT for fun, enjoying evening coffee in Starbucks Bugis Junction before our farewell.
This wise couple gave me a bunch of advices to be this and to be that…. How lovely this life is to have friends who are willing to share their (personal) experiences for precious lesson learning.
Thank you, Pak Donny and Mbak Maya. See you in Jakarta! 💗🙏🏽
Alfatihah to my dear friends.
three mugs, different content, enjoyed from the same table
Manusia mengembarai langit Manusia menyusuri cakrawala Tidak untuk menguasainya Melainkan untuk menguji dirinya Apakah dia bertahan menjadi manusia, Tidak untuk hebat kuasa atau perkasa Melainkan untuk setia sebagai manusia.
(Emha Ainun Nadjib)
—
Good morning, Surabaya. You did a lot of moulding to this human being. Thank you!!! 💝
thank you 💝 for making me a human being; I won’t give up moulding this self to be loyal to being humane
Garden of the death Where pray and wish are whispered To eternity—
—
plaque of cemetery of kings of Mataramgate to the bathing pool for women; women should at least take ablution before entering the graveyard complexgate to the graveyard complex of kings of Mataram; visitor can only enter this enclosure by wearing Javanese apparel: kemben for female and surjan for maleas I didn’t want to wear kemben, I preferred not entering the graveyard complex and decided to take some pics (with my bag) under a tropical fruit tree called kepel aka Stelechocarpus burahol
Hello, dear friendship. This ship is sailing smoothly, Storms don’t ruin our cruise.
—
Four are (fake) backpackers. One is (true) camper. We all sail together in a ship called friendship.
Alfatihah.
💝
a visit to a best friend’s youth center, this woman dedicates her life to accompany those needing support; the main house is for the classes, sitting room and kitchen; the front is a pendhopo for bigger discussion group plus tiny senthong for librarya visit to a best friend, a Javanese dancer cum lecturer, the wife of a late most well-known puppeteer in the country and the mother of a most sought-after teenage puppeteer in the island 💝 god bless her and family 💗 dear photographer, why do you always block me in group selfie? 🙃Yuki after playing with my dress 😍 hey, you’ll meet a vet , you’d better watch out 😁
Don’t let anything and anyone be a happiness snatcher even if they hurt you unintentionally or intentionally.
—
Feel good is successfully deciphering the codes in my life.
final hunt of interior doors and window done!4 windows, 3 doors – not easy to find lovable ones in tact in high quality; thanks to an antique collector who is willing to let go off his collection to me 🙏🏼
The green yard behind Is where greets and smiles soft-land On the plate and glass.
—
Jiwa Jawi’s my backyard – found that the owner is a good friend of my best friend’s. she briefed me about the environment and seems that i can only raise cats, not dogs 😁torch ginger aka kecombrang one of the major herbs grown within Jiwa Jawi, the more than 15,000sqm-garden-homeiga sapi bumbu rujak, lunch today 😘with neighbours to be after 6-hour chat filled with warmth laughter and experience sharing 💝 I humbly thank you!
Wondered about home. Has wandered finding a home. She’s learnt she’s a home.
—
Feel good is feel home wherever she is.
not bored (yet) with this place, d’Omah is my omah before my omah is fully ready for weekend getawaymessing around before unpackingMbah Petruk, you’re not supposed to be in my bathroom – ladies only 😆
Tragic is comic After fermentation time. Dark jokes bring bright joy.
—
We always remember how our father loved our mother. He liked giving gifts to her and doing household chores like cleaning the floor and doing heavy laundry. Yet he also enjoyed teasing my mother around; his goal was to make her angry just to show that he was good at calming her down. 😂 Yet his strong affection to our mother did one extreme discomfort to her and some of us.
This morning my older siblings asked mother to re-tell a story that we the younger don’t record well as we were too young to save the moment. While they laughed before she started telling the story, we three waited curiously.
Mother: Once I went with my friend to a beauty parlour. She wanted to have her hair cut.
Younger children: With whom?
Mother: (mentioning a name that we are familiar with)
All children: (commenting about mother’s friend who happened to be a very fashionable woman at that time)
Mother: She said that I should have my hair made curly or at least wavy so I could look different. I said no because I should get permission from your father. But you know her, she was able to convince me to do it.
All children: (laughing and commenting about the lady who spent money like she would die today. Mother said that woman got much money from ex husbands so she deserved to do it.) So, curled or waved?
Mother: Medium curled
Older children: (laughing and commenting how she looked fresh but weird as we had never had anyone with curly hair in the family before)
Mother: When I reached home, your father seeing me with curly hair looked surprised. I thought it would be a terrific moment but then it changed to one terrible day. He was so angry, never before he became that angry.
Older children: Ya, I was shocked. Never saw him like that before—
Mother: I was not shocked with his reaction but the next action of his was a biggest discomfort in my life. He said he wanted to make the hair look better which I thought minor trimming and he took a pair of scissors.
Older children: I didn’t expect that to happen. He cut most of the curly hair and only left the one with very vague curls near the headskin. You were almost bald! (laughing) You became so not you.
Me: (upset) Why did’t you run to hide and protect your hair?
Older children: Hey! Don’t be too serious. He didn’t hurt her.
Me: But he hurt her pride! I won’t let my hair be screwed up by anyone.
Older children: I remember mother sobbed and I screamed to father to stop. He didn’t do it harshly, but I felt worried about her sobbing.
Me: Damn wrong thing! I never knew he would have this in the checklist.
Mother: No worry. He regretted and apologized on the same day. And trust me it was the only one bad thing he did to me. He said he didn’t want me to draw attention of other men.
Older children: Jeeeaaaalousy! We know some other things about his jealousy! You should tell more stories.
Mother: I think it was the best lesson for him about how he should not be too possessive.
All children: Yaaa!!! Agree!
Older children: Do you remember that you turned to be a better fashionista than her. I remember you wore turban and sometimes wigs.
Mother: Yes. And I guess he regretted it even more as I asked for different wigs and turbans until my hair was good enough to show.
What a comedy! Oops! What a tragedy turning to comedy after some time!
Lesson learnt: choose the best expression of love to avoid bad impression, don’t have your hair curled 😁, find a husband who doesn’t hate curly hair 😁, forgive your husband’s wrong expression while educating him, and see a comedy in a tragedy
Good chirp of two birds Fill the air with random songs Above golden trees.
—
Time flies when we spend it with those we love. How would I not thank this life for giving me abundance of them? Good to have a holiday at home before spending more holidays outdoor faraway from them after this. 💝
I am blessed. 💝
installation art of two golden birds – good time is a chat of two sisters remembering the sweet and the shit 😊
Sweet smile always blooms To season and deck each day. Keep it, don’t waste it.
—
not the best airline on earth but always one of my favourite airlines 💝 its flight attendants’ genuine smiles remind me that there is always warm heart at home 😊
There is a tall tree Greeting the sky with its green, The earth with its white.
—
There is only one choice left: grow! What’s grown within affects what’s grown without and the other way around — all in unison. Liking it or not, I grow as the sole way.
when feet are happily walking, eyes are happily observing 🥰
vegetable levelled terraces ready for next plantingthe white lines hanging are pipelines traditionally built to transport spring water from mountain to the vegetable plantation
Good roots are strong roots Supporting those on the soil. They won’t be betrayed.
—
This trip is incredibly beautiful. Meeting best friends is more than anything. We talk. We laugh. We eat. We visit places. We engage with people.
One of my best friends who will be my neighbour in my humble abode is one of best human beings I’ve ever known. She lives to humbly serve humanity. She dedicates her life to help the underprivileged. She is so patient about what others do to her and always in understanding mode. She is so passionate in doing what she is doing to help others.
Among all her non profit projects that are my favourite is opening library in a small village that is functioning as youth center at the same time and supporting buruhgendong (traditional female labours who are paid to carry things either by sellers or buyers in Yogyakarta traditional markets, most of them are senior) in some traditional markets in Yogyakarta. If time allows me to live as long as I wish, our agreement is I will teach free classes of English, Japanese, leadership and management system in her youth center, while occasionally going with her from one market to another to greet the buruh gendong. Yet as an artist she is also teaching (mostly) women on how to make artistic products for sale to support themselves financially.
In this trip we discuss a lot about what we should do to ourselves and others but we can’t because of immovable blockages. We also talk about how we can feel good no matter bad a situation is. We talk about what will happen if the youth are not aware of what lies in their future at the same time we concern about how children around us get mature faster than we did before. And all always last long although with only a glass of tea, a cup of Javanese coffee and some pieces of local snack.
Life is too precious to focus on what doesn’t serve us good anymore. Life is too short to lament of any loss that is truly never loss. Life is too grand to just be sad of how that that we love disrespects us. Life is just too beautiful to consider what is not real.
So thankful for how real my best friends are in helping others. So thankful to be part of their spirit. So thankful that we are ordinary people in this grand life. So thankful that we are a grain of sand in the vast shore. So thankful that we accept who we are. So thankful that we are strong roots for each other.
Thank you, dear friend. It is good to always have a question “so what is our plan and action?” 💝
Deaccelerate, Accelerate on the road. Life is not a race.
—
Fasting is a very familiar way of life to Javanese. Called pasa or poso, fasting in Javanese culture is always related to the effort to self align. Many Javanese like doing fasting with or without meditation (tapabrata or topobroto) depending on their commitment.
While Javanese Muslim do at least one month of fasting per year in Ramadhan, fasting in Javanese culture itself came even much earlier before Islam was introduced. While in Islam fasting is between dawn to dusk and the same restriction is commonly applied to all kinds of fasting, Javanese fasting is more varied both in term of period and restriction.
Fasting helps Javanese slow down the pace in their mind, regulate the speed of their ambitious behaviour upon life goals, train themselves to be patient.
There are several kinds of fasting in Javanese culture that are still practiced by relatively many nowadays.
1. Regular fasting This fasting is done only from dawn to dusk like the Islamic fasting. This is a common practice, many Javanese parents use this kind of fasting to train their children about how to manage their immediate excessive desires and concentration in under pressure situation. I remember when we were elementary and high schoolers, we were instructed by parents to do fasting on Monday and Thursday during yearly school testing weeks. Yes, I felt more focused on my study as I had to prioritise tasks to save energy. Brilliant!
2. Mutih Mutih is derived from the word putih (white in Javanese, Indonesian, Malay). During this fasting, a person is restricted to eat other than white rice and fresh water for 24 hours started either at dawn or dusk. Ordinary Javanese can do it for one day, three or seven. Yet more advanced (usually senior) Javanese would extend the period as per commitment.
3. Ngasrep or nganyep Ngasrep is derived from the word asrep that means cool or cold; while nganyep from the word anyep means tasteless. In this kind of fasting the food and drink should be all cool and tasteless. The person is suggested to eat only boiled vegetable without adding taste (salt, sugar, oil, sauces, etc) and drink fresh water. It is mostly done in three days.
3. Ngrowot Ngrowot is a word derived from the word krowot that means Javanese common carbo source except rice. The person who does this fasting will only eat carbo non rice like sweet potato, suwek (konjac), gembili, gembolo (English please….), taro, cassava and other tubers.
4. Ngebleng Ngebleng means staying in; so doing this, a person will do regular fasting but very limited food intake allowed without leaving room or house, not meeting anyone, just doing meditation or doing household chores without distraction from anyone. Someone can do it three and seven days and forty days. Not many are doing this as this is a challenging one: not easy to find a place. This fasting is quite heavy because it does not allow sufficient food intake for a long time.
5. Patigeni(pati: turned off, geni: fire) It literally means “fire turned off”. This is the highest level of Javanese fasting as the restriction applied really tests the person’s very high commitment: s/he is not allowed to eat, drink, sleep including fall asleep and see any light both artificial and natural. How long? The shortest is 24 hours, maximum unlimited. Note: if s/he sleeps or falls asleep, s/he has to restart the fasting.
There are other kinds of fasting in Javanese culture which were done by very limited people and have been left by many due to the impracticality such as pasangidang (from the word kidang or deer) in which a person is only allowed to eat raw foliage like a deer, pasangalong (from the word kalong or bat) only eating ripe fruit from the tree, pasakungkum (bathing up to chin level either in the pool, river or shallow sea) without eating or drinking, etc. There are probably other kinds of fasting as Javanese used to be very creative in “fasting engineering” hahaha….
Javanese believe that with fasting they will connect better to themselves and inevitably with the ultimate power of the universe. They will usually become confident people without showing off. Those fasting committed people —if doing it right and without evil intension— will be a highly spiritual people and voluntarily dedicated to environment and people.
Javanese believe that this type of people bring blessings to the surroundings although blessings are not always tangibly seen. The blessings can be as simple as peaceful daily life with little conflict,
Do we still have many of them? In very silent villages around Java island we might still find a few. They are traditional farmers who feel the need to connect with the ultimate power as only that can help them manage their humble farming that is now severely industrialised and exploited.
Hope we still have them in silence. Amen.
Alfatihah.
“too much” in all kinds: portion, protein, sugar, carb – never mind, it’s good! 🥰 my yesterday’s break fasting
See you, dear neighbour. The old prays, the new welcomes. Good memories stay.
—
One of my neighbours move to a new place as they need an apartment with 3 bedrooms after having a new baby. We met at the basement carpark when they were stuffing cartons and stuffs to the Lalamove lorry.
The wife gave me their new address that is near my office so it can be easy to visit them someday.
We pray for your nice warm new home. We bless our 4-year neighbourhood. Thank you.
Let’s meet Under a tree that we climbed when we were children.
The tree will say “Here are the children who perched like birds the whole day to eat my fruit.”
Let’s meet At the river whose bank we used to build sand figures.
The sand will say “Here are the children who tap and slap me to look stunning.”
Let’s meet At the crossroad where we departed to where our bikes agreed to go.
The road will say “Here are the children who noisily negotiated which place to visit”.
Let’s meet Once again before the next once-again.
The rendezvous will say “Here are the children who have refused to lose excitement in life and continued to be young in heart, Even when age has taken some muscles away.”
Weather is changing, Sky isn’t. Furniture does, Space sits still smiling.
—
No condition changes space. It’s there, might look temporarily conditioned sometimes but simply because some furniture is busy “stirring the air”. And sky is just there being the canvas of weathers which come and go.
It’s fun to observe and silently enjoy each moment of truth.
Salaam.
sky is unconditional, and so is space – whatever happens is just weather that is passing
My mother said You were a cute baby Even when crying.
My mother said You were a beautiful toddler Running around, Bubbling all words.
My mother said You were a cheerful girl Cycling around Climbing up trees Playing drowning in the river.
My mother said You were a beautiful woman Arguing every ideas from me Showing me your strong desires Moving to where life brought us.
My mother said You are an adult woman Enjoying life differently from me Giving me what you’ve promised to be Loving what you love with no doubt Living life with smiles and warm heart.
My mother said I love you I bless you Wherever you are. You’re loved You’re blessed However you are.
—
My mother called, we laughed a lot today. She said I laughed as I did when I was a baby. How happy I have been to be her daughter. Lots of hugs and kisses, Ibu.
A path to a place Is walked through trees and uphills. A meadow is waiting Opening another path To a warm home filled with love.
—
My friend sent me three photos of our beloved “simbah” (those senior people who are considered wise or those who have grandchildren) – Javanese). Most people call these simbah “batik maker” because they make batik to earn a living. We both call them “batik artist”. More than that through what we’ve seen and heard about them, we’ve considered they are artists of their life. How they embrace their humble life gracefully and consciously has always amazed both of us. They live like calm river flowing to the sea. They don’t struggle against what others think about or do to them. They live as if there is no hindrance and disturbance in life.
When my friend told me some things about those three honourable ladies, I secretly harvested some lessons. It is very critical reminder for me who is still very much attached to a feeling of (accidentally) underestimated and (slightly) humiliated because of one petty case. These three artists of life have silently told me to let go.
What a loud shot in a quiet weekend!
No apology is needed. All is gradually let go through my own wish and willingness. This is my life and I only want to be the artist of my own life. 💝
Dark night starts early In fall when red leaves sway down To earth cooling off.
—
pretty crimson leaves covering the earth somewhere (from Pinterest)
While normally talking about spirituality and self love, one day one bestie and I conversed about money. To me she appears much more calculating than all of us in the circle. She manages her money very carefully and (of course) influences her friends to do so.
“If we feel ready with both predictable and measured emergency issues, we can feel good in more time than not.” 100% agree!
She is one of two besties teaching us to save at least 12-month income for emergency, fully pay all the loan the soonest possible, stay liquid rather than fixed (assets), not lend any assets to anyone anymore even with one’s emergency reason. I stubbornly disagreed with last one.
And she said all should be done soon because 2023 seems gloomy.
I didn’t take her words until watching a bunch of YouTube videos about financial analysis and forecast by experts and practitioners for the past two years.
Not hoping the darkness happens but there is no harm to prepare the umbrella before it rains.
River flows. Wind blows. Birds perch on a twig and chirp, Enjoying good food.
—
Life is not really WYSIWYG, there are layers that can be peeled off like peeling off onions layered skins.
What is seen in a river? Its flow. What’s behind the flow?
What is felt in a wind? Its blow. What’s behind the flow?
What’s behind the singing birds? What’s behind good food?
Something looking like nothing yet there are powerful layers of realities that wrap another deeper level of reality. At the end of the peeled-off onion, what is it? The eyes see “none” that can be immediately ignored, the self sees “the essence” that can only be understood through accepting in silence.
What an experience as a human being! Maybe this is a euphoria of being alive, or being aware? This is a good time and I will always feel good no matter what. 💝
Thank you for everything. 💝
good breakfast for a tempe(h) lover 🥰good snack for a pumpkin lover – run out of honey this time
Background, Beloved, Grass of meadow, Water of lake, Sand of desert, Breeze of mountain, Wave of ocean, Trees of forest, A spill of a secret.
Background, Beloved, Without which One can’t be Fully described.
A signature After yours truly—
—
Today’s call was with a not so close friend who found a Facebook account she suspected as mine after seeing the account commented in one of her friend’s Facebook post. Slightly not a welcomed call but a good one to learn to be sweetly sarcastic to a public enemy—
F: You should change the background photo. The current one if too plain.
Me: With what?
F: It should be a picture that describes you, the owner. You like flower, maybe you can put flowers? Or kitchen because you like cooking? Or books?
Me: This is not a personal Facebook account. Don’t own one; not needed. This one is for me to display gathering schedules and photos to family and friends.
F: An AirBnB wanna be?
Me: More or less but more a rendezvous place. Other ideas for the background photo?
F: Maybe Kraton Yogyakarta or its symbol. Or Merapi. Or Candi Boko. Anything associated to Yogyakarta well known tourist spots; your home can be one of a very interesting place for some people in that city, too. Eh, eh you can also put photos of Singapore landscapes as you’ve been living there; it is to show people that you live in both places.
Me: The home is a humble place, too petty to represent or to be represented by those grand things. I prefer screenshooting the map of the surrounding like now. You see the Jiwa Jawi Restaurant? That is my backyard.
F: Nice! But you should give some luxury touch so people will be interested to visit.
Me: Thank you. Hey! Your background photo is Eiffel Tower! You want to live in Paris?
F: No, just symbol of romance. that’s to show how romantic me and my spouse are.
Me: Maybe you should use Taj Mahal picture. I can give you mine. That’s more relevant.
F: Eiffel is more romantic to us. It represents modern romance.
Me: Oh, ok. (eyes rolled)
F: I like the name you give to your home. What’s the meaning? May we both visit and stay overnight?
Me: Thank you. The meaning is a door to those real or a door to those true. You may visit but I’m sorry not for staying overnight. I’ll invite you for lunch with other friends someday. Not so soon though. Wait until I have a decent kitchen and long dining table so no one touches each other’s elbows when eating
F: Would be glad to! May we both request special cookings?
Me: Ah! It is a friendly invitation not a paid lunch so I don’t accept request. The best will be served for sure.
F: Ah…. Unfortunately…. We’d like some western food if there is.
Me: Ah.,.. Mostly served are local foods from different islands in Indonesia or a few Asian ones. Never mind. I can invite you only for a house tour minus my bed room because you’re not gonna like it…. (smiled at the end of the line then excused myself immediately)
Boundary is important. We can be kind but not be fooled around.
She be, Beloved, The space not the furniture, Lets all come and go.
—
If only maturity could be implanted like nose or breast or whatever, I would still choose to get mature naturally through ageing and weakening although it takes almost half of century of struggling and pain to find only its gate. Damn late!
One maturity breakthrough of my life was when realising I should be more a “space human being” (my teacher calls it “room human being”) rather than a “furniture human being”.
Come true, Beloved, Wishes colouring this life, Bringing love and joy—
—
My mini daruma dolls package arrived from Japan. Now it is time to make wishes and draw the left eye.
May all beings be happy!
arriving from trip then checking the mail box at the basement this afternoon and found these package among all letters and magazines! 🥰each colour has meaning! quickly copied them! (ignore the ugly handwriting 😁) now let’s make wishes and paint their left eye 🧿 then let them take a rest in the box to open and be drawn right eye when the wishes come true 😎
rike jokanan 
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