Tag: poem

I thought
I saw you
At the gate
But not.

I walked,
Am still walking
Deeper in
To a forest.

I thought
I would meet you
Somewhere
But not.

I saw you
Waving hand
To me
But not.

I run
To you,
You vanish
With a shadow.

I saw
Numbers around,
The shadow owns you
And brings you away.

I want to go back
To where I started;
But I am deeply lost
In a forest of you.

I stopped and saw a light.
I don’t chase anymore.
Too much hide and seek.
Too many games.

I look up,
I look in,
I look forward
To a love within.

—

i just want to sit down through this Ramadhan and find a string to tidy up all these scattered beads

About Time

Time is
Lightning striking
And that’s it.
A patch
Of burnt earth is
A trace
Of surprise.

When we meet
Someday,
Ignore the time.
Let’s count it
With heart beats
And senses 
That touch.

Let me fall
In love with
You
Over and over again
As long as
Time
Can be defined.

—

is one chasing the other or the kite? it is love that makes both run and laugh, a kite that keeps the child within alive

picture from Pinterest

Blue

Blue is
Sky.
Blue is
Sea.
Blue is
You,
When smiling at me.

Blue is
Peaceful.
Blue is
Deep.
Blue is
Bruised by
You ignoring me.

Blue is
Seen.
Blue is
Felt.
Blue is
Angel you sent to me.

—

peaceful sky that lullabies — i slept almost the whole flight

i thought of changing to 44A but decided to keep 47A…

…. only to find that my seat number is the number of gate we disembarked 🪶

i am superstitious 😂

Angel Number

Angel talks through signals
Differently read through places.
Some codes break others.

—

in Chinese number 4 sounds like death; but in another numerology version it is a symbol of solidity, stability and confidence

across the aisle is a marching 3 which is a powerful number, it symbolises communication, optimism and quest 😎

angel numbers are constantly around me so i never deny when they say to me “you’re always lucky!”

Bali, A Space In A Place

Learning, Map It!, Poetic

I don’t need a place.
They can build a palace
To place me.
I’m not a queen,
Please gift it to someone more beautiful and loving luxury.

I deserve just a space.
It can be a table for two
To chat with me.
I’m a traveler,
Please go on a quest with me through joy and challenges to be.

Let me clean my place
For a little space.
Now and here
With or without
You—

—-

i went ***melukat*** with one of my best friends in Pura Pacampuhan Sala on Saturday to welcome Seclusion Day and Ramadhan month — it was such a blessing for both of us

About MELUKAT

Linguistically melukat is derived from the old Javanese word “lukat” which means to “cleanse” or “purify”.

Melukat itself is understood as bathing or cleansing with water that aims to cleanse both body and mind, to refresh the spirit and dissolve away any negative influences. It is also believed to cure non medical diseases and sickness of the spirit and whether it does or not, a session bathing in holy waters will certainly make you feel good.

It is a symbol of letting go or releasing something burdening within us. It is a ritual that can be performed many times, in fact the more, the merrier as it can only lead to good things. It is also a kind of self purification that is very common by Indonesians of Hindu and Javanese Muslim in different ways as ritual.

Hindu in Bali will do it as frequent ritual, even for tourist attraction in some way.

Muslim have daily ablution (washing face/nostrils/earlobes/hands/feet) and mandatory bathing for women after menses or married couples after sexual intercourse. They also have another self purification affected by original Javanese tradition called “Adus Suran” or “taking a bath in Assyura/Suro month” in which they will do bathing in Javanese New Year’s Eve called “1st night of Suro”. Muslims are also suggested to do cleansing ritual (normal bathing with strong intension) before Ramadhan.

While in Bali why not I committed myself to self-purify? My best friend did it for Seclusion Day. I did for Ramadhan. Both of us did it for health, happiness and joy. 💝

Salaam.

walking along Sok Wayah’s rice field the whole morning on Sunday

after a long walk, Pukako’s drink and sweet potato is the best choice 😎

Love

I found love
In your eyes
Only to find it none of yours.
It was mine 
Reflected by mirror
Standing facing me.

This love is light
Shining incandescently 
Within a glass,
It does stay
Yet radiates
To all directions.

Never so much
Simply bright—

—

walking around only to find love 💝

Bed of Tulips

Bed of tulips bloom
Under April’s sun. They smile
Through linen canvas.

—

Hope

The sun rises, sets
At two ends to tell the time
To the open eyes.

—

I always become guilty when my nieces say they want to be like me after breaking up romantically. They might think being single is the best choice in that situation, which is true yet nothing is permanent. Don’t be too sure about what you think, that’s what I always tell those young ladies.

The wedding of my niece recently was truly one miracle to witness after so long she thought she would not trust marriage institution. She finally trusts a man, a lucky one as much as my niece is lucky to be married by that funny guy! 💝

Behind the wedding scene one of my nieces approached me and asked me questions and here is the interestingly funny abridged conversation.

N: Auntie, you still hope to get married?

Me: You?

N: You know what happened. I believe mother told you. She said to me you disagreed with my decision.

Me: Of course. You are young. No reason to not getting married.

N: You? Tell me.

Me: I am slightly different.

N: Old?

Me: Yes.

N: Are you abnormal?

Me: Like what?

N: Homosexual.

Me: No.

N: You hate men?

Me: No

N: You are afraid of being poor?

Me: I am not. But I won’t want to be poor.

N: So what makes you single for so long?

Me: The same as you.

N: Trust?

Me: Yes.

N: Do you think I can get my trust back faster than you?

Me: Yes. Look at Dan. It took her only some years to finally getting married.

N: I hope I can.

Me: When you still talk about hope, it means you will get it.

N: But I hope you get married first before I do. Please…

Me: I hope….

N: (she smiled and went to fetch some snack)

Sometimes you’ve gotta show your beloved how much hope you have to make them keep hoping for the best. To me although I have to pretend…. 😝

N: (she got back with some snack on a plate) Do you really hope? It’s been 16 years!

Me: 😂

—

never give up, dear kids — everyone has love to share

Dream Catchers

Catch my dreams, my love
The ones I could not.
Share the joy, my love
The one I would enjoy.
Let’s smile together
At the road we’ve taken.

You might have missed some dreams
Caught by your beloved around.
We’re dream catchers
Catching the ones
Delivered by the brightest fireflies.

Happy for good
Joyful forever.

—

i’d always wanted to be a journalist, i can’t for some reason — but she’s the one reaching my dream even much better 💝 god bless you, Dan! 😘

By That I’ve Been Taught

Tuhan, Aku Berguru Kepadamu

a poem in a song

Tuhan,
aku berguru kepadaMu,
ajarilah bagaimana mendengarkan batu,
membaca suara,
menggenggam angin yang bisu.

Tuhan,
kedunguan memberiku pengertian,
buta mata menganugerahi penglihatan,
kelemahan menyimpan berlimpah kekuatan.

jika aku tahu
terasa betapa tak tahu,
waktu melihat
betapa penuh rahasia gelap
yang dikandung cahaya

Tuhan, aku berguru kepadaMu,
tak tidur di kereta waktu,
lebur dalam ruang,
karena setiap satu mengandung seribu
berguru kepadaMu.

Tuhan,
kuragukan setiap yang kutemu,
kutimba ilmu dari yang paling dungu.


Tuhan,
aku berguru kepadaMu,
gelap dan terang saling menegaskan,
garis batasnya memusnahkan jaraknya,
pada pertentangannya memancarkan kesatuannya.

[Emha Ainun Nadjib, dari majalah Horison edisi Desember 2007]

Hold My (ranting)

Life is wonderful when it has ups, downs and plateau at the right time. In fact, time is always right at least twice a day when the clock is broken. When time seems not right, it will be right by deploying the right genre— prose, poetry or drama? Your decision! 😊

Realist: Stop drama now.

Me: Oh! You mean I should not use acts and scenes?

Playwright: She means no life drama.

Me: Ok. I will try prose.

Novelist: She means don’t be too much, my dear.

Me: Alright. I will use poem.

Poet: She means the content!

Me: Ahh! So it is about genre?

All but me: (speechless)

Critic: Hold my beer! I mean my teapot!

—

Par

This tongue says
What belly doesn’t.
Under par, Tongue shouts
Then never stops complaining.
Above par, Belly says
Then waits until the next par.
Is it fondness or fullness
The ruler?
Up to you,
Said the Tongue
Who whines about the taste.

Beloved,
You’ve raised a double agent.

Ha!

—

what an excessively oily aglio olio, said I — but I was sooo happy that I slept earlier 💝

Describing You

You’re a fact
Just untouchable.

You exist
Just indescribable.

You’re not illusion
Just intangible.

You’re one
Just distracting.

You’re near
Just invisible.

You’re far
Just haunting.

You’re minute
Just blocking.

You seem nothing
Just enshrouding.

You’re everything
Just spacing.

You’re not a puzzle
Just enigmatic.

You make me think about you
Just to fail right through.

You’re clear
Just misunderstood.

You
Just
You.

—

Waiting for Love

Waiting for you, Love.
Each day, extra affection.
What a devotion.

—

💝

Choice of Face

An artist opens her closet.
There are masks piling,
Waiting for the tasks.
One mask, one face
To make a day.

She stares and thinks
One face today
A genuine
A bright
A true
A nice—

A good day.

—

my watch face is Minnie Mouse almost everyday because she makes me a sweet cheerful cartoon! 💝

Be A Life

Learning, life, Poetic

It’s the flow,
Not the water.
It’s the grow,
Not the tree.
It’s the glow,
Not the light.
It’s the vow,
Not the word.

Wow!
It’s a life
Alive.

—

hellow, home!

Numbers

I said to angels
Near me,”Tell my love there’s love
In your flapping wings”.

—

I was about to send some pictures containing angel numbers (twin/repeated numbers) to a friend who has been in love with especially 333, 3333, 33333 and all the repeated angel number 3 when realising that that friend was not in the list. Where was she? Maybe she unfollowed me? But why?

When checking in other friends’ lists this person was not there either, both in follower and following ones. Ahhh! Maybe she was deactivating herself?

As I don’t have her mobile number, I checked it with her best friend and he said “Yes, she has done it now and then. You don’t realise sometimes your list shortens? It might be her.”

Ahhh! Ok, ok…. 😊

She’s not lucky. The photos with her angel number are now for you all. 🙏🏼

Salaam.

Lessons Learnt (sharing)

Lessons? Things unknown,
Still unknown, maybe won’t be,
Solved with acceptance—

—

Oftentimes people make the biggest mistake because they are young, because they are stupid or because they are not clear of what they aim at in life. At least that is what my core circle has agreed.

Many people reject to go for health check earlier only to find that they have really bad health problems too late to manage through life style change— too old or too weak and can only be managed through surgery and/or medication. This happens a lot around me. They would say “I am ok. I am healthy. No symptoms. It is just light headache. It is just small numb. It is just light coughing. It will get better soon. Blahblahblah.” And boom! Big troubles come (almost) late!

Do health check without waiting for intense symptoms. Don’t underestimate a pinch as it can be a punch.

Many people think buying property can be done at later age. They prefer buying cars, branded stuff, etc for the sake of high prestige. They would say “I want to enjoy my single life. I still can live with my parents. Why so hurry? My spouse will buy it for me later. Blahblablah.” And boom! Property price soars high in just some years and those branded stuff investment can’t cover the desired property.

Prioritise property (although at the same time some fancy stuff can’t wait). Of course this is not applicable to the haves who can buy whatever they want.

Certain people overshare for the sake of feeling guilty and trying to explain excessively. I am one of them— once tried to explain why and why just because I was afraid of being judged. And so I shared something that I promised to myself would keep it for VVIP circle of mine. And boom! The humiliation and disrespect that came back to me has made me feel like a biggest moron and worthless in the universe. It is taking time to accept the total stupidity about (blind) love.

Don’t overthink. Don’t overshare even with someone that you love the most if there is no clear foundation.

Aaaahhh!

Life is a school whose next classes can only be entered through a bunch of lessons learnt because of failures and wrong doings which look unforgivable but actually truly forgivable. 😘

There is no right or wrong. What is there is only acceptance and lessons learnt.

Salaam.

—-

make a beautiful string of beads from the lessons learnt; then life is counting wisdom 💝

Freshness

A window shows some
What’s in both sides with freshness
Hidden by curtains.

—

Let’s refresh. Refresh. Refresh.

Salaam.

celebration of freshness through centrepiece of orange and yellow

Sweet Surprises

Sweet surprises march
Silently following a season
Bringing colours to the sight.
Don’t hold breath,
They stay quite long
To give more space
For wow! and whoa!

—

I think I don’t give my orchids enough attention that I always see the bud rather late— only when they are long enough to stand out.

Sorry….

And thanks much! for giving me surprises after several years not blooming.

Salaam.

Music

Close your eyes tight
If you hate to see me.
You will fall asleep
Peacefully.

Unlucky you,
Beloved.

You cannot block your ears
If you hate my music.
Your earbuds will amplify it
Loudly.

You will get used to it
And die while joyfully humming it.

My music,
My breathing
Will become your music,
Your breathing.

A
Heart
Beats—

—

inspired by QS 15:29

No Regret

One by one they fall,
Petals decompose to soil,
Fertilising life—

—

when i see more fine lines under my eyes, i feel blessed that i am alive up to this age; i wish to live longer with the same amount of love or even more 💝 there is no regret for all are signs and turns to the home 💝

The Mist That Is Erased

The green of beauty was there 
Until the mist slithers around
And hides what was seen.

Nature is a mystery
Unrolls its scroll slowly
As if not wanting to hurt
The hands with which it is held.

The mist though will be beautiful
Before it is kissed by warm air
That whispers a song singing
“Melt away. Morning thanks you. Day, noon, after and night truly love you.
If space unvoiced between trees scripting can’t connect the dots, only light can do.”

In no time the sun is rising,
Then the mist is missed.

That is how the story begins.

—-

Thanks, Michael for allowing me to repost this picture to illustrate my verses. God bless you.

A Journey into Mist 4

Emergency

Fly, leaf with the wind
Pushing you to where you go
For joy and safety.

—

near the wing, near the emergency exit — both safe area yet the most critical for action, while extremely sleepy; it doesn’t matter, the passenger (in mask) sitting next to me said “let me open it in case of emergency, you may sleep” — what a nice flight: sleeping in a calm flight, guarded by an unknown angel 🙏🏼

Primary Patience

Prime time must be secured,
Said they.
Wait! In what definition?
Time to get mature?
Time to board the flight?
Time to earn TV ads?

Time to be patient.

It’s this time
Yet
No time primarily.

—

At young age I was told that there were 3 types of need: primary, secondary and tertiary in which primary included shelter, clothing and food. Now my primary need increases to 4 with internet connection added. On the same floor of my apartment there are at least 17 wifi links connectible or locked including mine. My mother’s house has been installed with wifi so she can enjoy more information and entertainment, her grandchildren can play games freely when staying overnight, her daughter (me) can work with ease when visiting and (i guess knowing my mother’s (over)generosity) so some next door neighbours’ children can sneak the wifi to browse around from their homes.

While GOOD internet connection is a primary need in some places, it is still secondary in some others. Outside Singapore (even when traveling to Japan) I feel “tortured” by the low speed. In Indonesia (oh people will all have patience as their super power after dealing with the internet connection outside prominent cities) and other South East Asia countries (please, Singapore might be a European country lost among us) good internet connection might be secondary or even tertiary.

Uh and oh are my normal expressions when I spend my holiday or long weekends in my mother’s house. My nephews and nieces who visited me in Singapore has claimed “There is no word “loading” in your home. In here you have to wait for a while because loading is a must process. Be patient. Be patient. Be patient, dear. Hahaha….” 😁

And yes, some work cannot wait but have to wait until I arrive home because internet connection is not yet a primary service every time everywhere.

Salaam….

i told my nephews and nieces to be patient in some situations; yet when dealing with internet connection for work, everything nice about being patient is just a meme to me 😝

Time Is A Fortress

Time is a fortress
Protecting from memories
Of love that once bloomed.

—

i bought a rose to tell myself that some emotions will soon fade away like flowers that wither through time 🥀 especially with very slim memories in store 💝

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