Sanctuary

In sanctuary,
Where birds from paradise sing,
Clear mirror reflects—

Out of office is set meaning that work is safe-kept for a while. Only silence remains. Even my boss and my mother— two whose calls I’ll never reject in normal situation can’t contact me. They know where I am so they won’t contact me. 😎

All my postings will be automatically scheduled starting May 1.

I pray that you all be blessed with good life.

Salaam.

💝

my goddess, Saraswati 💝

just wanna be offline for a while 🌸

i love to be with those knowing how to reflect me and themselves clearly ♥️

it is safe 💝

accompanied by two paradise birds in Ubud before starting my sacred silence tomorrow in Baturiti

Almost Birthday

It almost arrives.
A blessed day,
The one when
A generation is born
To share what may
And
To bear what shall.

Happy birthday!

—-

a prayer is recited — health and happiness with the loved ones 💝

Best Not, Better Be

What’s best is not best.
Better is, leaving a space
For the next better.

—-

I am never craving for best for me. Only doing my best to be better and to deserve whatever makes me better and/or see opportunity to do better.

Yet best seller book is the best for today. And one previously best seller for my best friend—-

Salaam.

💝

bestseller shelfnot my normal shelf but it was today

old book i did read at uni and want to check some details and so re-read 😎

curious what’s inside 😍

seems promising for a discussion in a reading club

for my best friend who watched the movie but not read the novel yet

Quiet Noise

Quiet and noise
Are both luxury
Which cross clarify
And cross verify.
Both cost so high
In each phase.
At times each is a spy
To bug each other
To find when the best time
To be quiet
Or
To be noisy.

I am doing a sacred silence retreat next week. Called Tapa Brata, this retreat is where we will meditate most of the time in a day. Pak Merta is a devoted Buddhist who has been opening this meditation center for years to promote self health and at certain level herbal medication teaching. I am not a Buddhist but I feel that this retreat has helped me a lot to calm my mind.

There won’t be any interaction with others directly during the retreat. No talking. No reading. No writing. No listening except to the meditation guidance and sound of nature in Forest Island. All gadgets will be safe-kept by the organiser so we will be totally offline human beings.

It is about communicating with one’s self.

The interaction is primarily within. I remember how hard it was for me in my first Tapa Brata in 2018 just to not say good morning and good night to my roommates on the first day. Hope this one is easier for me.

💝

that joglo (the building with terracotta roof) is the meditation hall, two jinengs (Balinese rice storage) are sleeping quarters (only for male), 9 bungalows are located behind the joglo for meditators to sleep, the dog is in front of the dining joglo

the dog? he was with whom everyone wanted to talk after lunch in silence — he would just stare at us and yawn and sleep seeing us talking without saying things, he probably understood 😃 hope to see him again

Cuts and Bruises

All cuts and bruises
Paint a life of a blossom
Before it decays.

i was so young and innocent, a loved friend of many, a hated enemy of some — i was so much blessed 💝

life has brought me travel through labyrinth of life with traps and turns that cut and torture yet i am still a loved friend of many, a hated enemy of some — i am still so much blessed with cuts and bruises 💝 i’ve lost much but i find myself

no one shall erase this happy girl within — a blessed soul that travels through space and time 🙏🏼 thank you

Wildly Grows

That flower is born
By wind and gardener’s love.
Celebrating life—

—-

the pretty zinnia in my sister’s garden are all wild, she never intentionally grows them, they just popped out of the soil, she believes they were spread from the neighboirs’ as some of our neighbours have them in their garden — we don’t know if our neighbours also unintentionally grow them with the same reason as ours 😁

Maleman

Breathing the same air
Under the same sun and moon,
All pray for good days.

Sharing is not only about self satisfaction and social support, it is also about gauging how much I dare to let go of what heavy and significant. Trust me giving will not make you poor.

This monthly food sharing is about Ramadhan odd night and night of revelation (lailatul qadar).

Salaam.

💝

package for some elderly people and tricycle drivers who deserve food sharing back in my mother’s town 💝
what’s inside
while the monthly food sharing is without kue apem, this maleman food sharing is with kue apem 💝
5 big monthly package for nuclear family 💝
what’s in the big package 💝

Ramadhan Odd Night

Sleeping under dome,
Reciting signs of wisdom,
Ramadhan odd night

—-

Some friends of mine and I stayed overnight in Istiqlal Mosque on Apr 15 (25th night of Ramadhan) to focus on “sleep less, pray more”. We did much earlier as high schooler when we stayed overnight at school in 2 Ramadhan nights to sleep less and pray more to gain lailatur qadar that my friends and I believe is special night to reveal truth within our own selves.

This very time in Istiqlal 3 things were emphasised by some teachers to all of us.

  1. Birr walidayn (doing good deed to our parents) including but not limited to making them feel in ease and peace, show respect and gratitude, talk softly, pay regular visit, cook their favourite food, buy good clothes, and other good deeds
  2. Knowing one’s self = knowing the God — interaction with one’s self is as important as interaction with other human beings as tools to clearly see the core self within
  3. Loving fellow creatures is paramount in life — no choice as human beings without discrimination!

Thousands of muslims stayed in the mosque and we didn’t know each other, we just followed the scheduled activities mostly in silence or very casual salaam except talking in low voice to few friends going together as groups.

Thanks for giving me one night to sleep less and pray more.

💝

with girl friends in senior high school class — me with 2 besties 💝💝💝 night for (crazy) youngsters

Ramadhan Odd Night in Istiqlal Mosque, me and 2 good friends slept under the 3rd pillar in the female chamber (left side of the hall), there is partition between male and female chambers — felt like staring hundreds of star clusters 💝

Maleman (Ramadhan’s odd nights celebration)

Dear oh dear, it’s time to slide the curtain and see your face.

Crescent moon is here.
It illuminates my sky,
Showing your perfect beauty.

Dear oh dear, your love has perfectly wrapped my imperfect reality.

This dusk
To dawn
I pray.

—-

Javanese celebrate life through sharing and commemorating ancestors. They will find reasons to call a day sacred and so they can celebrate it with especially family and neighbours through sharing. One of the chosen moments is in the last 10 days of Ramadhan.

Ramadhan is believed to have 3 phases: 1st 10 days as the grace and mercy of the God, 2nd 10 days as forgiveness of the God and 3rd ones as liberation from purgatory. It is believed that one of the nights in the 3rd 10 days is called Lailatul Qadar (literally night of revelation or night of honour) whose value is more than 1000 months so if Muslim spends the night in goodness s/he will be appreciated with 1000 months of good deeds. Many Muslim scholars interpret lailatul qadar differently; I myself believe that it is the night when a human being becomes aware of one’s bearing the quality of humanity as well as divinity. No one knows which night it is but it is believed that the night allegedly falls on odd nights of Ramadhan: 21, 23, 25, 27 or 29.

Javanese think that it would be good to share joy at any of those odd nights. Those who are blessed with abundance will share more, they will invite their neighbours to dine in and make a basket of food to bring home for each of them. The less or under privilege will usually bring 2 baskets of food to a nearest mosque or mushola to share with others; as it is not mandatory, it is ok for them not to bring anything, their neighbours will give more to them.

The odd night celebration in Javanese is called maleman that comes from the word malem (dusk or twilight) and -an (a suffix added to a word that make the word a noun or a noun another noun with different meaning). Maleman means an activity that is conducted at dusk or twilight.

We hope that by doing the maleman we can be blessed with the 1000 months of good deed of food sharing. And isn’t sharing food the simplest thing to do with neighbour? 🙏🏼

There is one kue (small cake) typically present among all food shared in maleman, it is called apem— a rice cake made with yeast and coconut milk.

Apem is a symbol of forgiveness and asking for forgiveness with each other among the Javanese Muslim. It is derived from an Arabic word “afwun/afuwwun” that means forgiving. This rice cake is a special cake appearing in many Javanese celebration as a symbol of forgiving and forgiveness among people surrounding.

I am glad that the 3rd 10 days of Ramadhan is here. Time to sleep less and pray more for the sake of my happiness and joy.

Salaam.

—-

Nowadays kue apem has been creatively modified. Originally it is steamed; now many also fry it. I love this one of Javanese delicacies! 💝

Have a look of a few of the creations of our amateur cooks. 🙏🏼

we used to have this “apem conthong” either using jackfruit or banana leaves to both mould and wrap it — not many though make it due to its complicated process

the most common nowadays

this one is fried 😍

simple to cook but take long time to slice when set after cooked

💝

apem with Javanese palm sugar as the flavour — the sweetest one

apem kembang — my favourite 😍

Background

It takes good backgrounds
For stories to come alive.
Time, place or colours—

—-

this is the finally-decided colour for the background; just the background after many months, making sure this gift is loved by the birthday lady — thanks for your patience and understanding, Mbak ☺️💝

Harvested

Not only fruits,
It might be flowers, seeds and seedlings.
It might be leaves, woods or saps.
It might be barks, husks or roots.
It might be more.
Whatever beneficial—

What is this tree harvested for?
None—
No. Either
One:
Good deed or good time.

Harvest from life, Beloved.
Remember to sow before the next reap.


Her heart and soul is her best seeds,
And she is the farmer and the crop.

biggest lessons taken from this — not so much relatable yet good lessons indeed

a bit of hilariously heroic – good to build good mood 😃

enigmatic and dark

Melodic Prayer

No billowing smoke
Of incense she’s whispering
Melodies that free.

—-

i prayed that all that i love are happy and healthy wherever they are 🙏🏼

i prayed that their soul is reborn free and dedicated to humanity wherever they both are 🙏🏼

Reflection & Fragrance

Standing in front of you,
I see love.
It is clearly reflected—
A face of mine smiling at itself.

When you look at this mirror,
What do you see?

I wish you know
You are love reflected by a clear mirror.
I wish you see
This water clearly reflects you,
A love that exudes fragrance.

—-

a pond behind Himeji Castle 🏯 i could breathe drizzles and pine freshness while seeing a school of fish swimming in clear water reflecting acceptance

Grateful Heart

There’s always a room
For a smile to fully bloom.
It’s called day and night.

—-

Thanks for being part of this journey. Without you I won’t be a full version of a human being. 💝

hope you are healthy and happy with your loved ones 💝

today’s Ramadhan breakfast (ifthar) — cooked by myself for myself with love ❣️

Dream of Home

If home’s made of dreams,
It’s green, warm and musical;
Or nothing at all.

—-

exhausted like heaven! the toilets and cleanliness imprison me, the railway system bids me a farewell — not a perfect home of mine 💝 Singapore and Indonesia is the best home of mine 💝

home is where new dreams are ready to come true 💝

dandelions ready to fly 💝

My Heart Is Leaping

My heart is leaping.
It opens its windows, breathes the joy.
It celebrates parties,
As invited by beauty that pops out out of life.
It claps hands.
It taps feet.
It dances love songs.
It sings “Ode to Joy”.

My heart is leaping.
It turns my sadness
To joyous moments,
Leaving tiny gap to
Contemplation and regret.

—-

do you see that breathing the pink fragrance 👁

camellia ~ symmetrical layers

sakura near castle boulders

pink sakura ~ hanging blessings

sakura tree ~ almost end of cherry blossoms

Faded Away


The longing has gone
Too far left by trueness.
No plate is prepared,
No wish is grown,
No intelligence is to decipher message
As heart is numb by laughter
And ridicule.
No number symbolises,
No alphabet pronounces,
All are faded away.
There’s only mine on its way.
Dandelion,
Bring it fly
To where it roots beauty,
Peace and eternity.

Only love remains
For the journey
That appreciates
Not a point
That fades away.

—-

i’ve met dandelions in many different spots; all of them are blooming new dreams, totally new, leaving the blur ones — prayer heard and soon coming true 💝

Grown Blessing

All are grown blessing,
Making days more radiant
Without prejudice.

—-

Flowers don’t envy others just because of colours, shapes, fragrance and/or sizes. They just bloom without prejudice blessing whoever seeing, smelling, touching, feeling, listening to the description.

Be blessed by flowers even those of grasses.

Salaam.

💝

gerbera, ranunculus and the gang 💝

💝

💝

💝

💝

💝

💝

Good Morning, Joy

Pink joy greets in breeze
Showering earth with blessings
Of cherry petals.

—-

a surprise at the gate! 🥰

trust me it made my day! 💝

showered earth 💝

neighbour’s sakura 💝

thanks for the blessings!

thanks for the blessings!

thanks for the blessings!

thanks for the blessings!

thanks for the blessings!

Pink Beauty

Their eyes see pig pink.
She sees cherry blossom pink.
Pink can be anything, anywhere.
Not anyone though sees beauty in pink.
My heart is red
Yet it feels ever pink.

—-

cherry blossoms along JR Kobe Line 😍 — almost ten times visiting Japan and this is my very first experience of cherry blossoms

Best

All is best
Like all is well
In someone’s hands
At give time.
Don’t waste any second.
If you have slight time,
Smile like seeing heaven.
It is best
Always.

—-

my best smile this sleepy morning 🥰

other than the precision manufacturing, this is one of best products of Japan! never disappointed with one 😘

Blossoms

Blossom, welcome her
Among tasks and assignments
So she smiles and blooms.

—-

The way we thank for the work we do is by doing our very best for the work we do. There is no other way. Give our better best everyday for the work has given us their best.

Salaam.

cherry blossoms!

more cherry blossoms!

Beautifully Unheard

If she says
Love is the only gift,
It is still inaudible
As the doors are all closed
And that room is air-tight.

Unheard—

Even if she screams,
What flies back
Is smooth and soft echo,
The bouncing waves
From a solid wall.

Beautiful—

—-

peace can be as simple as reading vague messages without trying to understand as guessing is not a good habit 💝

Perfect Imperfection

Is life abundant?
She asked.
They said,
When you have everything.
She walked away,
There was never everything
In imperfection.

She says.
Life is generous.
They say,
Because you have everything.
She walks away,
There is never perfection
In everything.

Life is abundant,
She agrees.
They ask,
Do you have everything? You are not perfect.
She walks away,
There is always perfection
In anything imperfect.

—-

anger has long gone but sadness is still lingering like a hungry fox hunting a chicken 🙃 yet life is so generous to me offering sweet imperfection and simplest perfection that might be just a dream for those perfect perfection — so thank you as always! 💝

giving myself time and space to live again 💝

Interaction

Where is sun when sets?
Where is moon in the day light?
They share love through time.

Interaction is about reciprocity; even when we are alone, we are interacting with some tool of life or with the deep self within.

When it is not reciprocated, interaction is not genuinely true.

Salaam.

a grandma with her grandson

a mother with her son

family gathering

feeding two grandsons

let’s climb!

hi, dove! said the little boy

what’s in the water? said he

bubbles!!!

what is that over there? ahh hope! ☺️

am i your headache? no, you are my universe 😂

don’t move, just smile! someone is taking our picture ☺️

she is asking her cam to see what she sees 🙏🏼

our daughter is playing, i am sitting near her

hey! clear up! i am gonna land!

electrocution my a**! 😁

Weekend Full of Heart

Every weekend
This heart multiplies.
They wander
Everywhere
Through music, pictures, poems and prayers
Sending peace
And love
That might not be
Returned.
What a sweet weekend!

—-

although you’ve targeted me with uncertainty, (pic: Banksy’s)

although you prefer war (pic: Banksy’s)

although you ignorantly hijack the love, (pic: Banksy’s)

sweet heart is still what you deserve,

no missile but beautiful heart should be sent to you (pic: Banksy’s)

freshened and showered with warm heart is your right

at the end a bunch of flowers will be thrown to you (pic: Banksy’s)

hahahaha…. i am always laughed by my best friends for constantly being “love sick” (pic: Banksy’s)

Choice

Choice’s falling star
Brightened in a quiet dark night,
Orbited to earth.

respecting this family for their choice of happiness, knowing that i will never be able to do so

inspiring me to at least enjoy simpler life and to accept all blessings more happily

Shadow

Is it the shadow
Or the real you show to me?
Distinguished beauty—

—-

i can’t remember which one is the shadow and which one is the real — i don’t want to observe further to find which is which

what i know the castle is beautiful day and night 💝

Balance

Is it tug of war
Or pendulum played within?
Two polar extremes—

—-

decision making is about choosing

winning one interest…

….and letting the other conform

there shall be a stop at one balanced point at which the momentum reaches its maturity or its exhaustion 💝

Bubble

A bubble’s bursting,
United with the free air.
Would you please join me?

Although Kyoto has a lot of impressive shrines, my favourite is not there. Mine is Izumo Taisha in Shimane prefecture about 343 km from Kyoto.

When visiting other shrines in Japan, I was so aware of being in Japan. In Izumo Taisha I got home: sunny, green, serene and unexplainably blissful. There were many visitors but my senses didn’t absorb their presence as if the hot air and bright light muffled their noise and wrapped me in a safe bubble bursting when my last step left the shrine front gate.

Romantic!

a long walk from the gate to the shrine — i remember it was a scorching hot day in August 2018 and i was humming while walking 😇

ablution, my daily ritual that i find also so soothing in Japan shrine especially in Izumo Taisha

torii 💝 a gate to the shrine yard

this is Izumo Taisha! 💝

shimenawa (sacred straw rope)

i only go to this coffee shop with my colleagues, but i wholeheartedly believed drinking Starbucks coffee was a nice thing; only in Izumo! right outside the shrine complex

Izumo Taisha, Shimane