a message sent to me on Apr 24 when I was in my mother’s house, from a shipping company – could not recall what I purchased as not much shopping these days
today I picked it up when arriving home – what is it, what is it, said I curiously
ahhh!!! I purchased Elon Musk’s perfume, the Burnt Hair on Oct 14, 2022
the longest wait of a PO to be shipped in my life 😂
it is almost like burnt hair smell – maybe this is the smell of Elon Musk’s burnt hair 😂
does it worth the wait? hmmm…. for my curiosity yes, not for my olfactory system 😹
Anger, Beloved Swirling stream drawning what flow, Demolishing luck--
—
Anger can bring unluck, now I believe that.
I was furious because some people made unnecessary mistakes. Although mistake is mistake that can be fixed but covering up is another level of mistake making a mistake not just a mistake. I can never accept when people are not well treated, not well protected, ignored, disrespected.
anger is maelstrom
I still could not get rid of the patches of anger even after some hours. No sleep cured it. No food did. No nothing. I felt my body tremble whenever thinking of how those mistakes were made and so on and so forth.
This very morning I realised that my anger didn’t bring good things. It brought me heat in head, unclear thought and unlucky events. And the unlucky events were the worst as I’ve always been feeling lucky in my life.
Look what happened to me….
I queued behind a lady who failed scanning her fingerprints and facial recognition in the immigration autogate that made the waiting too long for such a sophisticated system. My Malaysia Digital Arrival Card submission failed 4 times today. My passport identification page got folded. My automatic bagagge check-in failed, with a bonus of bitter sour unfriendly female airline assistant treating my passport like a trash.
Please forgive me, dear self. Those mistakes do not belong to you and you are not responsible to bear any cost; they are those people’s, let them deal with any consequences possible.
There is pain And patience In endurance, A chemical compound That swims in blue skies, Gets sprinkled down to a pool Where Superman Is endured.
—
i met Sam who swam for 20 laps of 50-meter long pool today – she swam without stopping at all, while i stopped in the middle just because a leaf poked my goggles
Sam was 65 and she said she also started like me (not consistently moving, she even said she preferred the small pool of 25-meter long near my block) – sixtyfiiivvveee!!!
she said she pushed herself past several years before finally enjoying the 50-meter long lap with no stop back and forth for one hour
see you in two days, Sam! thanks for inspiring me with your humbleness and endurance 💕
How do you feel loved? Not so much effort, It's just a smile, Or a cuddle from a dog.
I'm loved, I'm loved Just because Life loves, Love lives Here Now.
—
before going back to Singapore, i visited my friend in Lod Tunduh – she has 2 dogs and both love me so much, wherever i sit, both will sneak around like this!
Coincidently waking up With light breath And open eyes In a good morning That calls for Another day.
Some don't know the feel And it's just a coincidence For me? How fair life is! How unfair life is!
Be blessed, dear. Be blessed everyday With the blessings That come from Every other way.
—
That coincidence often comes as blessings might have been ingrained in me, even more.
One Coldplay-big-fan friend said to me some time ago “If you have spare ticket for Coldplay in Singapore, please sell it to me.” He really wanted to watch Coldplay in many different places. Seems to him Coldplay has brought in a lot of good meanings into his life. Not denying this possibility, I have to admit the lyrics are powerful for those wanting to look deep in to their own selves.
I said “I will but it is a very thin chance knowing this band has tremendously massive lovers.”
Sorry, friend….
Yet one fine day in January one good friend from Jakarta texted me asking if he can let me buy two Jan 30’s Coldplay show tickets as he was “suddenly” assigned for a biz trip and would not make it to be in Singapore for the show. What a blow! This friend and his wife would have met me before or after the show so I was kind of upset to hear the news. Yet at the same time I remembered that one friend would be super excited to buy the tickets.
What a coincidence!
Long story short the Coldplay-big-fan friend agreed to buy two. He wanted to watch with his friend this time.
Some time after he agreed, he texted me again saying that his friend could not fly in for the show. Honestly I felt it was another coincidence as I was also thinking of going again – I found listening to “Biutyful” live was addictive to me. So, I asked if it was ok for me to buy the other ticket: Coincidently he agreed; he must have really wanted to watch with his special friend yet he welcomed me nicely.
excited in my 3rd watch! more? no, no, it was the last for the “Music of The SpheresWorld Tour”, now time to enjoy them back in Apple Music 😃
So, this time we watched from above. A very stunning view with all the well-arranged illumination and performance.
Another coincidence. My friend and I didn’t say anything about which tee to wear yet both of us happened to wear the same one: Coldplay 2023 Tokyo special edition design. Wow!
We both went crazy blended with others who were as crazy as us. I don’t know when I will meet him again after the show but I truly thank him for giving me a lesson that someone can love something (in his case a band) that he is capable of explaining almost all fun facts about the band that I didn’t even think exist. Memorizing all songs’ lyrics, knowing albums and EP contents, and so on and so forth! Thank you, KM-san! God bless you. 🙏🏼
I asked him how he could memorise all lyrics. His answer was annoyingly true “If you love something, you will remember.” Damn! I just realized forgetful is my middle name especially when dealing with passwords and where I put small stuff. 😂
Jan 31 was another merry day. My niece watched with her best friend and they stayed overnight in my home after that. Her friend is a journalist who knows how to access “Kampung Badui Kanekes” that I have dreamed of visiting. To my excitement he agreed to escort me to visit the unique ethnic group in Banten anytime I want to go. ♥️
Should I underestimate a coincidence? Or, actually there is no that that we call coincidence. It is just a lesson that we never clearly see and (hopefully) later will be well learnt.
Thank You!!!!
among all this is my favourite photo – AngelMoon❣️ BIUTYFUL!!!
Kindness, Beloved A strand of gemstones glowing. A gift for my love--
—
arriving home from Malaysia, i found a sukun (bread fruit) as a gift from my neighbours (cleaners, gardeners, security guards) for the 2nd time — need to look for things that can give them smile
In our next Next Next rendezvous We won't see but white And laughter Decorating the day. All bad times will be forgotten, Leaving early with the short memory Giving us only good times And an ease that next stage Is just another Rendezvous.
—
if we all survive by then, my best friends and i will look like this 😍 all of us will wear spectacles 😁 how sweet and romantic a friendship can be ❣️
I’m amazed Of the days Passing by like trees on a street marching fast when I ride a car,they’re forgotten. But you came like a red tree bending down Telling me “Stop! I remember you.”
I’m amazed Of the days Passing by like white clouds in the sky swimming when I look up, they’re adored. But you came like silver cloud sprinkling light Telling me “Yess…. We will meet again.”
I’m amazed Of the days Passing by like regrets deep down in this heart when seeing a name, it’s untouched. But you came like a saint forgiving me Telling me “Take care and be safe.”
——
I remember that day when I took care of 2 dogs in a construction site near my office — now they both are relocated to other construction sites 💕
a very good friend said he remembered that I used to visit dorms whose residents took care of some dogs — I’m glad that someone remembers me that way 🙏🏼 thank you so much
I am not taking care of dogs anymore, but only donate to no-killing dog shelters where stray dogs have their days free as dogs without abuse and starvation — may all dogs be happy 💕 and may the one reminding me of a good memory with the two dogs near my office be happy
I am crazy about nothing. You are crazy about her. A good combination, Let’s enjoy our own show.
——
one Japanese friend sent me a picture of Tokyo Dome of Nov 6 saying “No way you were in Tokyo Dome on Nov 6; you should have seen me among people!”
this Coldplay huge fan friend has watched in Tokyo Dome both days, one day in KL and will do in up coming 2 days in Bangkok
he said he failed to get ticket for Coldplay in Singapore
gonna be 5 times? he said he is crazy; I said “yes, you are!”
sent him my location on Nov 6 — totally different view and my concentration was to just enjoy the concert; even my friend shot my video “trance dancing and singing along” 😂
I am crazy about now and here and sometimes I lose interest to anything around me especially when there is no serious alert sent to me — ahh sorry for being so focused 🤭
Fragrance of sambac Ferries the wish to the love Reborn with new scents.
——
The death of my beloved nephew at young age (22 yo) is one extreme turning point in how I see life and what is in it.
I am not sad anymore and not considering it a loss anymore. Just drying tears and grateful smiles so — remembering how good his life was. How someone with so big mental wound could survive life by serving others in such a fun witty ways. 🥰 We now know how much we loved him and how tremendously he loved us.
Yet….
reborn
not interested in talking in group except for work;
prefer seeing life more lightly yet deeply at the same time;
choose to seclude myself by doing what I can do genuinely; if not, I will stay away;
respond to human interaction differently and it might have hurt people in outer rings; it doesn’t matter
still the same human being yet not the same anymore;
so amazed how losing loved ones can change someone so significantly. And the reality shows me whom are real and unreal, true and untrue…. 💚
Life is mysteriously beautiful.
Thank You so very much!
Alfatihah.
my younger brother’s 1st son was a newborn death; my older brother’s sons: one died at 10, the other at 22 — wishing them to be reborn with love, prosperity and luck 💕😊 you’re (always) in my heart and (sometimes) at my left wrist, boys! 💕💕😊
The bow that launches Is the arrow that is shot: An exhibit by the One That honour is inevitably Gorgeous For that Respecting From that Witnessing.
Salute to the bowstring.
——
I have learnt how to genuinely respect my teachers and other human beings even more after learning meditation in Bali Usada — I humbly thank you, Pak Merta Ada. I bow to the divine in youand all my fellow Tapa Brata participants 🙏🏼
it was a sunny day so Pak Merta Ada invited us all to end the Tapa Brata with 1-hour meditation under the blessed bodhi tree — hope health and calmness be granted to all of us ♥️
Pak Ishak giving his testimony about the noble silence, Ibu Lady his wife video shooting him — the oldest participants in this Tapa Brata 2 we all cordially respect
canang under a tree as a daily respect to it for being part of the environment protection
torch ginger is the most grown herb in Bali Usada meditation center — yummy and fragrant when cooked
💚
Three of us stayed in bungalow #4 for 12 days of which in 1st-11th we didn’t talk to each other. We just took turn of using bathroom, switching on/off light at 3:30am and 10:00pm, making sure towel racks were sunbathed, replenishing toilet tissue, cleaning bathroom. All were done in silence in between meditation sessions, physical exercises, meals and lectures. Only at the last night after Tapa Brata was officially summed up, we could not stop sharing about our life journey until 2:00am.
Tami is 32, Fitri is 33 and I am 48: I am the oldest but I am the baby in meditation — they meditated 1.5 hours without changing position, I did but could not stop “ngereog” in the last 5 to 10 minutes.
My age doesn’t mean anything with these 2 ladies of harmonious mind.
See you again, my little sisters! Anicca! 💕
ngereog literally means performing reog dance; Tami used the word to describe someone’s intense movement during meditation due to muscle stress 😂
Ibu Lady, Srimurni and I showered by the morning light right after morning meditation and no shower (yet) — Srimurni was one of those could not stop talking to me after the Tapa Brata 😄
Have a seat, dear friends. Breathe this home before our chat. Leave the heat outside. Pages of shapes and colours, Tell them to bring their best selves.
——
Coffee table books are good to make guests relaxed before longer chat with me and at the same time to lay foundation of the chat. Not all guests visit me to chill out; some do to ask for help that might make it difficult for them to start a convo, so some flash reading can help them break the ice and sometimes for the host to loop back to the ice breakers when strategising to refuse unreasonable requests. 😉
Just fyi, some people don’t easily give up “selling misery to get a buy-in”, so be softly tough; one exquisite coffee table book might not even work.
Surprisingly Life throws one surprise After another Of all types To me who is cushioned Only by submission And genuineness. How generous Life is! How intriguing it is At the same time!
Dear, Life. I don’t want any other way to love You.
——
Life is full of astonishments to me. The most recent one was when I met the architect of my Jogja base home in Jazz Gunung Bromo without planning. I happened to know that she has been the bamboo stage designer of the annual jazz festival for the past 15 years! Yes, she is an architect cum bamboo artist.
We decided to ride a jeep together to see the sunrise the next morning before she returned to Jogja and I enjoyed my jazzy night.
A short fun meet up with a friend it became.
Thank you!
🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
feeling so blessed to have met so many humble human beings in my life and it has made my life even more wonderful
How’s life, dear pearls of friendship? Your shadow flashed in the tips of these eyes All of a sudden. I wish you all good heart That shines Through the orbits Of all friendly comets That travel the universe Bringing verses About love and friendship That last forever With the expanding universe. You are truly loved And missed….
——
Brisbane 2017 with Mbak Wien, my friend back in uni the only person able to make me sit in a club for almost 5 hours in a riverbank of a Brisbane river (not sure what river it was though), yet she was not successful to make me drink but jugs of orange juice
a loving daughter and sister, a wife of a kind man, a mother of 2 brilliant boys, a rather crazy friend
when will i see you again? maybe some day when i’m back to down under
Orbit of a star Keeps it moving yet centred. Devotional fact—
——
Ibu Tien Wartienah is one of the best batik makers whose work of art has spread around the globe; most of her customers are international art curators and prominent people from many countries incl our own country
she started making batik at 8 years old to help her mother who was also a batik maker; in her 66, she is the most sought-after devoted batik maker — her devotion to batik esp Yogyakartan style is second to none – her eyes were sparkling when she was sharing about batik and what she has done with her skill and art
many of my classical batik collection are made by this humble lady — i’m so blessed to keep guard her work of art and to have met her this visit; thank you, Ibu Tien — your life is blessed by many
Ibu Tien’s half done wax-blocking (nyanthing) work “Kembang Manggar” aka “Satria Manah”
i tried one batik yesterday in Ibu Tien’s home in Imogiri — trust me it is a challenging task 🤓
I started teaching this morning. Overall I’ll be teaching English, soft skills, art and hopefully someday Japanese. I partner with my best friend to establish a free weekend class for the kids and youth in her small library in south area of Yogyakarta. It is a community support that we humbly provide for a better leadership and communication skills of our young generation.
We have very very very limited budget but we commit to help the community not only to welcome but also to design bright future.
Pray for us.
May all beings be happy.
children class this morning — very very basic communication skills of reading, writing, listening, speaking — what a sweet fun session! 💝
these two girls were the youngest students today 💝
I give up the war before I fight, that’s probably the best description about my response to the Coldplay’s Indonesia Concert ticket war on May 19.
It is a working day although coincidently I am taking a leave on that day; however, it is a medical leave to meet the specialist and receive regular medical treatment in the hospital. 🙃
I can just say May All Beings Be Happy. All the ticket war fighters to win their strongest wish!
I wish to watch them somewhere else or most preferably in England or Spain someday! Please long life for that. Yaaay!!! 🥰
Good luck, fighters! I am praying for us all!
💝
—
who doesn’t like a humble person? two of them are and so i love them both 💝
What is age, dear love? Pearls of memories of you Shining in my mind.
—-
May 12 is my father’s birthday. He was born in 1939 but his physical body died years ago leaving memories about him.
Happy birthday, Bapak. May you be reborn a happy one wherever you are.
💝
mango was his favourite — i’ve eaten mango for 3 days to celebrate his birthday 😀 no cake this year as I prioritised my time for something more important; sorry, Bapak 😘
She cleans the mugs From which we drink, She swipe the stains Of tea and coffee.
She moves the mugs To humming machine, She unloads them out, In to drying machine.
She smiles to us We smile to her, She says hello We say thank you.
She asks me why I drink so much, She guesses I’m thirsty Or the aircon is cold.
She’s a guardian Of the white mugs. How life is hilarious! Among those who are serious!
—-
i like talking with certain cleaning ladies assigned in the pantries near my section and the gym, and seems that they love doing it, too. there is one particular loving it the most, a (probably) 25-yo lady with a syndrome making her not talking clearly and processing messages rather slowly yet she is the friendliest. today she told me how many mugs she has to wash (helped by machines) everyday and why there are many more on Tue to Thu. she said many employees like to use more than one mug (each mug for one tea flavour) and she’s wondering why. when i said “i use one mug for one tea flavour because i don’t want to mix the taste, i am sorry”, she said “no, no, then it is ok lah” 🥹 what a blessing to talk to a humble human being — not so much thought processed and so much fun enjoyed 🥰
Sleeping under dome, Reciting signs of wisdom, Ramadhan odd night
—-
Some friends of mine and I stayed overnight in Istiqlal Mosque on Apr 15 (25th night of Ramadhan) to focus on “sleep less, pray more”. We did much earlier as high schooler when we stayed overnight at school in 2 Ramadhan nights to sleep less and pray more to gain lailatur qadar that my friends and I believe is special night to reveal truth within our own selves.
This very time in Istiqlal 3 things were emphasised by some teachers to all of us.
Birr walidayn (doing good deed to our parents) including but not limited to making them feel in ease and peace, show respect and gratitude, talk softly, pay regular visit, cook their favourite food, buy good clothes, and other good deeds
Knowing one’s self = knowing the God — interaction with one’s self is as important as interaction with other human beings as tools to clearly see the core self within
Loving fellow creatures is paramount in life — no choice as human beings without discrimination!
Thousands of muslims stayed in the mosque and we didn’t know each other, we just followed the scheduled activities mostly in silence or very casual salaam except talking in low voice to few friends going together as groups.
Thanks for giving me one night to sleep less and pray more.
💝
with girl friends in senior high school class — me with 2 besties 💝💝💝 night for (crazy) youngsters
Ramadhan Odd Night in Istiqlal Mosque, me and 2 good friends slept under the 3rd pillar in the female chamber (left side of the hall), there is partition between male and female chambers — felt like staring hundreds of star clusters 💝
rike jokanan 
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