graphs of my Universe
A very entertaining and big fight of the year!
This cool boy is Indonesia’s sweetheart! The other one is comedian, the Indonesian women’s public enemy! The boy’s father is named “Indonesian’s Father of The Year” and “Father of YouTube”, he’s raised this boy since the divorce and almost everyone in our country consider he has raised his son successfully.
So hilarious and satisfying boxing game of the year! 👍🏽
What a great victory against a playboy! Thanks, Azka!
Perfume, Beloved,
Won’t be enjoyed by blocked nose.
Eyes though see bottle,
But the fragrance goes away
Leaving no trace but the spray.
—————————————————————
Once I had a chat about “Touch ‘n Go” card of Malaysia. One Malaysian friend made what he called a joke “Life is like touch and go la. You touch then you go la. As long as you pay, it is ok! The problem is after touch and go, you realise you run out of fuel and there is no gas station there, then you are stranded in the middle of nowhere.” None of us laughed. He said “Alamak! You all don’t get it la! Boy’s joke, boy’s joke!’
Only today I can really get it. I should text him to confirm a fresh understanding. He must be happy receiving a message from a long lost friend who is now “smart enough”. 😁
I prefer not to live like “touch and go in nice cars” touching here and there for temporary pleasure then losing the ability to detach from irresponsible people who can only suck joy out from my only self through the excessively irresponsible exchange of memories. I prefer “going on foot” consciously although it looks less luxurious.
‘d only build precious memories with those reciprocally loving me and not playing touch and go 💝
May all beings be happy.
Woman is human being
With exactly the same rights as man to be human being.
All her decisions should be respected like man’s decisions should be respected, too.
It is not a privilege to be a woman like it is not a privilege to be a man, too.
It is a privilege to be a woman like it is a privilege to be a man, too.
In some culture woman is discriminated based on different things, but overall the discrimination is simply because she is a woman.
Don’t worry, culture sustains when human being preserves it. So let’s change the discrimination culture by promoting a non-discriminative mindset.
In some culture though woman overdoes her fight of emancipation that makes herself suffer with no gain.
There should be no fighting between man and woman because the existence of both doesn’t generate competition. It is a complimentary and supplementary relationship for one another in different levels or fields of roles and responsibilities that are agreed without discrimination, harassment or abuse just because of being a woman or a man.
Ah! It is good for her to be a woman. And I know it is good for him to be a man.
Stop ranting! Go rest. 😀
Time travels with you
To where good memories sit,
Waiting to rejoice.
———————————————————-
When I was a girl, I got sick very often. Yet what I remember the most isn’t the pain but is how my family would take care of me. Of course they medically treated me either at home or hospitalised, but there was a unique way I can never forget what my mother, father and siblings did extra.
My father would chant Javanese mantra that would calm me down. My mother would wrap me with a sheet of batik cloth before putting the next thicker blanket. And of course siblings especially sisters would sleep with me the whole night.
What Javanese mantra chanted by father? Oh can’t remember! What batik, I definitely remember it and now own it for the same need; covering myself with batik gringsing when sick.
Gringsing is one of the oldest batik background patterns in Java. It is thousands of tiny square with a dot in the center symbolising “sedulur papat kalima pancer” (literally means 4 siblings and 1 core as the fifth) the cosmic balance of human reality in Javanese wisdom. And through the philosophy it is believed that when a Javanese human is sick, s/he is cosmically imbalanced and needs to be balanced. Physically s/he is medically treated, metaphysically s/he is cured with gringsing the balance symbol.
Gringsing is an acronym of gring or gering (sick, not well, ill) and sing (not); gringsing means not sick anymore. Oh! That simple! Made by hand! Oh! Not that simple!
What a blessed human being!
Across rainbow bridge,
Wings bring a tiny light up
High to where it glows.
————————————————————-
I’m surrounded by animal lovers and rescuers. Every now and then I see how they struggle with animals in pain or death. It’s not easy each time those friends have to say good bye but at the same time they learn again and again that the best end is by releasing sincerely and being released sincerely.
Happy journey, Dear. Thanks for all the lessons you have taught us.
Alfatihah 💝🙏🏼
Today I had a lunch chat with a colleague. We discussed about this and that and of course how we both grow more grey hair, more fat and of course more wisdom.
I remember when I was 30’s I said to him I was so afraid of growing old alone. Now I’m growing old alone and I’m not afraid. Today I said to him that I’m afraid of dying alone and he lightly said “No one wants to die with you or with anyone else, girl! No one!”
I laughed and said “Damn! you’re right!”
And I made a good decision right during the convo that I won’t be afraid of being alone! Everything is gonna be alright!
But he said something before saying goodbye “And you’d better be a bit stingy to those not helping!”
“Damn! You’re right again!”
Life is fair but life is also not fair so we’d better know how to surf! Unfortunately, I don’t like surfing, I’m just gonna be biking!
I’m a tiny dot in the galaxy, a mini tiny dot in the universe but I won’t give up praying that You will give peace in the heart of every human being on earth.
My prayer is for the children, elderly, disabled and animals where violence is hell on earth. That is the real hell.
Please, Peace grow in their heart and mine.
Beloved, please drive us to where peace survives.
Why should there be war?
Treasure’s treasured, why
In tombs guarded by legends?
It’s secret’s secrets.
——————————————————-/
I’ve often thought that people living in this society is either living right at the bars or above the bars. It’s either we force ourselves to enjoy comfort that gives us uncomfortable consequences OR we comfortably enjoy whatever we have for comfort with just-right consequences. Today I learnt that there might be some super rich living in an area which “normal” millionaires here won’t even think as a good place to live. I read a news about a millionaire who in fact lives under their own bar with his family. Extraordinary!
So?
Ah! Life is just like that! There are choices to make and people make choices which (they think) they deserve.
Nothing is more liberating knowing that life still offers me wonderful news. It has proven me that life can be NOT-WYSIWYG. I would not imagine someone mistook my car as a grab car, while I were a super duper rich girl waiting for my friends to get on my Honda Vezel. 😃
Weekend, weekend! Happy weekend!
Does it suffocate
Or release? Up to the sky
Or stuck in the black?
Meet the wind. Fly to the far.
Let the chimney nobly stand.
————————————————————-
Chimney is a symbol of industrial era like church for religiosity, tower for secularity and all kinds of stars of spirituality.
Yet I found different interpretation of mine on chimney through Japanese books reading (very very elementary, all hiragana and katakana, I can only remember 15 kanji so far, hell yeah!). Chimney can be a symbol of fairy tales, dreams, ideas and creativity emerging from the dark, beautiful stories. What else? Ya, just use imagination to find what clicks in mind until the word “chimney” meets its lighter connotation against the one in paragraph 1.
Reading the books, I can’t deny some people really get blessed with extraordinary imaginary world and ability to materialise what’s in it by intertwining the intangible blessings with the tangible ones. Like the writer whose books I’ve read.
God bless you, Akihiro Nishino (should be with ~san). Thanks for the books you’ve written.
Read. Read. Read.
Read the letters. Read the lessons. Read between the lines.
🏭
A dream, Beloved,
Is roots absorbing nutrient
In any seasons.
———————————————————-
Teak wood tree will shake all her leaves to fall off in dry season and look like standing death log in order to save her energy in managing her metabolism. It happens until the first rain pours down again. Young leaves will come out. The forest will come alive again. Annually!
That’s what I learn from my childhood living in a district where teak wood forest was rich and well protected.
If I were a tree, I would dance and sing in its root in the spring, summer and autumn before dozing off in the winter.
That’s what I learn about having dreams in life.
Thank you! for everything
🥰
A home, Beloved
Not an outlook— it’s the soul
That hugs when inside.
—————————————————————-
I bought my first property at 34, a bit late from the original plan simply because I was broke. It was a small house in Greater Jakarta, that is now called “Rumah Bob” (literally Bob’s home) named after my cat Bob.
It is one tiny house in a small cluster, uniformly designed with minimum freedom to show “me” — the owner can only have it painted different colours, install different window sills, plant different flowers and design different garden, add different carport, or maybe buy different cars.
That has motivated me to have a home that reflects “the me that I want to present”. None of the houses offered to me by brokers or friends hit my core although some were into my taste— of course some were simply too pricy. 😩 I rejected all offers.
Apology – Some people (who helped search property for me) thought I was too much because for some of them a house is simply a place to live in comfort, while I’ve always dreamt to live in a home where I can express the true me and help my guests understand their true selves by visiting the home. A few of them sarcastically said I shouldn’t have searched through them if I didn’t have enough money — ohhhhhh some bloody stings!!! 😂 Yet I did apologise to them for being so difficult.
I decided to buy a small plot of land in a greenery in Yogyakarta (my father’s home town) and build a home from scratch.
Architect – It’s very important to choose the right architect. Not necessarily the most prominent as to me integrity and friendship is the most important thing – luckily my best friend recommended her student to work on my dream. Working with an architect who was artist had blessed me. She understood what was wanted by her clients but she never got satisfied even when the clients said the final draft was excellent. She would get back to me saying “Mbak, I think I find which part should be optimised. I’ll get back to you with a new draft.” Thanks to Mbak Novi.
The Core – My home will never impress random onlookers from the outlook or those who think a good house is a luxurious building; they will simply think it’s a humble abode clean and fresh. It will only impress its guests, family and friends who truly relate with me as human beings with different kinds of engagements or those who know how to appreciate humanity and ordinary.
I wish to be granted health and prosperity to live long enough to enjoy being a sincere host in my true home to those who love life.
A dream come true! Alhamdulillah.
May all beings be happy. 💝
A she, Beloved,
Is far and near, clear and blur,
But not true or false.
—————————————————————
Some people describe something so beautifully that others feel found and blessed. Those people are called the wise.
Weekend is rich with memes and kitchen; a bit chaotic with laundry and rain. Like a she she is! 🤩
All memes: from Pinterest
Garden, Beloved,
Fertilized with poisons? Dead!
Cinder rose goes off.
———————————————————
A group call with my brother and sister in law is mostly either stupid or crazy. Once we talked about the old time passing and our addiction.
How someone gets addicted to something is mostly started from a physical or mental exit of pain— either clinically prescribed or personally decided— followed by excessive dependency on the substances or the activities.
I’ve seen how people addicted to medicine (I was to pain killer), drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, etc have changed from beautiful human beings into ugly persons either physically or mentally. It’s how awful co-dependency shapes someone’s life. Moreover, there is no addiction in any history that brings true happiness or freedom.
Three of us then discussed about someone who was addicted to something unusual: spiritual drills. Having all resources, the person went shopping on various classes and workshops about spirituality and self help such as meditation, mindfulness, tapping therapy, money magnet and how to optimise it spiritually, how to activate chakra, yoga and blahblahblah, gemstones and their spiritual power, mandala and spiritual awakening, how spiritual life pull financial abundance, spiritual traveling around many places, etc. One had been in one’s 60th class last time we met. One would be able to answer all questions in any possible ways. I called one ‘Mr/Ms Know All’, a euphemistic nick name that might be loved by those addicted to power and authority. Some friends called this person “Mr/Ms Spiritual Junky”.
What I remember about this person is that no one around was genuinely appreciated, everyone was just a “who-are-you-you-think-you’re-better-than-me”. One called most of one’s friends “cantrik”, a Javanese word that literally means follower/helper and would never be up to one’s level (one called one’s self healer and universe map reader).
How ironic! From someone who were full of compassion to someone who were full of envy and insecurity—
I think many if not all people to some extent were once addict who learned the lessons and changed the patterns to be free from co-dependency. My brother was a heavy smoker, been stopping for around 3 years. My sister in law was a Korean drama freak and quit. I myself was addicted to those I fell for and heavily overthinking.
“I almost got addicted to someone again.”
“Let go! Let go! Let go!” said they to me like cheerleaders.
Definitely! It’s a waste to wait for emotionally unavailable people to care that I care about them. I’m ok to get soaked in love and compassion but not in addiction to people. 💝
Addiction, oh addiction.
Alfatihah to all of those who are addicted to anything in any situation. Be healed and blessed.
Red leaves, Beloved,
Are red yet the eyes might catch
Different reds. Normal—
————————————————————-
My red is a red no matter how red is mine compared to others’ reds. I respect others’ reds by not questioning their ability to perceive a red. In fact I only care about the reds of those in my inner circle in order to live harmoniously; and, those working together in order to ensure that the red is articulated precisely with no misunderstanding by all work partners.
Alhamdulillah.
May all beings be happy in this Christmas Eve. 💝
The boughs touch the ground
Showing respect to nature,
Mother who loves all.
Fruits are ready to harvest
Everyday. Farmers’ blessings—
———————————————————-
One of those teaching me constant gratitude is my mother. When I share my problems, she will either tell me “We should be grateful that our problems are still solvable” or “We are still lucky that we are still given blessings when having problems” or “It is ok, someday they will understand”.
That lady is made of flexible rubber when hit by hard challenges. Nothing hurt her blessed heart. I’m lucky to be born by her. I guess God has sent her to teach me patience….
…. and at the same time to be patient. Hallow…. It takes patience to deal with patient people. I mean it!
Matur nuwun, Ibu. I love you. 💝
Thanks for everything
Not only abundance, but
Also scarcity.
—————————————————————
Online work mode has made people think creatively to minimize boredom including inserting some fun through dress code in online meetings. This time thanksgiving. Yay!
I’ve read some history and the development of that tradition, not a fans though because I am raised a Javanese who is supposed to thank every day —every moment if possible— with whatever reason. If you don’t have reasons to be grateful, find one.
For being a human being. For being a female. For being one rascal in the family. For being a persistent colleague. For the abundance. For the scarcity. For being me now.
If it is still hard to thank for who you are, Beloved, just be you with the layers of fear, hope and awe.
Thank you! For everything 🐣
Dear mango flowers,
Bloom when I’m home, have some fruits.
Let’s visit neighbours.
—————————————————————-
If you do good, your neighbours will be good, too. Really?
Not always. Sometimes however good you are, your neighbours will be not so good. Yet still do good, just give fewer mangoes to them.
Good discount should be given in some special occasions, right?
Hey, Neighbours! 🍀
Harvest is to reap
What’s nurtured from the nature.
Good plans might not work.
————————————————————-
Last weekend was one of the merrier offs. Meet up with friends in different places + online conversation with best friends did draw interesting facts about how they apply parenting.
I’m against those who consider children as investment. This mindset is broadly believed where I was raised. This old concept has poorly discouraged many of us to grow as we are.
Many children from my time feel that their success should be to fulfil what their parents want as the investors who often time consider financial support is paramount, not to actually use their own ideal dreams to contribute to society as an individual with their unique ID and personality.
No, I don’t deny how important formal education is for modern human beings. And so financial support -normally from parents in my society- should be highly appreciated by those who enjoy the privilege. Yet the financial support should not make children become economically vulnerable against their parents.
In the other hand children must know parents -assumed as the major or primary support before living independently- get old and need support in their retirement and so those elderly should be well taken care of. This should be a form of respect and responsibility, not an abusively forced task.
Good parents should know it is a responsibility to prepare children to be responsible human beings; good children should know it is a responsibility to support parents in retirement time. 💝
It is not easy to deal with parents who don’t give room or give very thin chance to bridge gaps of many topics. One of the significant result is these children fail managing their own future plans: losing the chance to work in a dreamed place, missing the chance to live abroad, getting married with someone they don’t love or being single for not getting approval to get married with the loved ones, and so on and so forth. I’m one of those 😝
When one best friend said she wanted her son to be so and so but the son shown his rebel, I couldn’t resist myself to not say “Do you remember why you are now still there?”
She laughed and said,”Ok, ok thanks for reminding me. But you are not married. haven’t been a parent, haven’t had children that’s why you can say that easily…..! You would be disappointed if your children grow not up to your expectation. You would never want them to live below your standards. They should be the one materialising parents’ dreams that are missed. What would you say, my dear?”
Damn! She might be right!
However, how would parents expect children to be what the parents failed to be? Don’t they think children will fail to do so as well with the same style of parenting parents copy from grandparents (who failed in the first hand)? 😫
Please forgive me, best friend. Can’t always agree with but respect your stance. If I have children, I won’t lazily apply the dictatorship or transactional relationship. 👍🏽😘
I thank God to be single in this situation although I have smaller hope to “harvest my own next generation”. I’m quite happy that my brothers (and some crazy good friends) allow me to love their children as an open-minded aunt cum good friend when they need to have fun smart discussions. 🥰
May all beings be happy.
They gild the lily,
Making them salt to the sea.
Ocean in a drop—
———————————————————-
When I was very young, I could desperately envy those who were physically beautiful, intelligently wise and, spiritually mature at the same time. How could people be blessed with such full readiness to face the complex life and completeness to address its various issues? I’m sure I wasn’t alone; many human beings were on the same boat with me.
Yet getting older has helped me not want anything but more consistently feeling comfortable to be my own self and realising that those perfect people only looked perfect because they were perceived through imperfect eyes (my young ones 😉).
Proofs and revelation then taught me acceptance to live with limitation, imperfection and physical flaws. In many ways I’ve seen blessings in me more than the perfect.
Being ordinary has saved me from getting high demands to be a gorgeous woman who should move gracefully in front of the crowd, a pious person who should perform religion disciplinedly or a wise friend who should give good advices when needed anytime. I’m blessed!
Being ordinary has driven me to live with only two goals: to enjoy being my own self and to do what’s best in life to be as much beneficial in my short life. With not much to choose, life is forced to be the integration between persistence and dedication, a commitment of body, mind and soul.
Fortunately being flawed is like an ocean. Ocean is full of beauty especially the deeper the diver is willing to explore; like Captain Nemo who found beauty in the depth of the sea that wasn’t witnessed by those who never traveled in Nautilus. However, thousands of cubics of any possible wastes are also dumped to the vast water: plastics, oil, waste water, many kinds of garbage and probably millions of memories drawn by broken hearts. A perfect beauty full with paradox!
Rumi reminds through one of his verses “You are not a drop in the ocean; you are the entire ocean in a drop”. A perfection in imperfection—
Truly an existence is perfect when with natural flaws and complete acceptance.
Nothing is more blessed than accepting one’s own self and taking care of one along the journey.
Summary of today’s conversation with my best friend 🐣
May all beings be happy 💝
Numbers, Beloved,
Tell you what life has brought in.
Blissful happiness—
————————————————————
7 or pitu in Javanese is an abbreviation of pitulungan that means help, aid, assistance, support in any form in a situation when a Javanese feels helpless and hopeless.
In life I believe whatever enjoyed whether it’s a tiny achievement or accessibility have always been in 3 forms of pitulungan: from my ally, my enemy or from the invisible.
It’s my ally for sure. They will never let me down because when I lose, they will lose as much as or even worse than I do. We’ll work together to achieve our common goals. My family, my friends, my colleagues.
The enemy? Believe it or not, I’ve won a lot of battles with the help from enemy. Unfortunately they never realise that the harm they caused have been the best fuel for me to boost myself to achieve what they’ve never thought would happen with their bad influence and/or actions. My enemy think their strikes against me will ruin me. Oh never, my dear. You throw me bricks, I build a castle!
And the invisible is a never-ending support I’ve received since I was a baby. I was born difficult my mother said. I got sick when I was a girl. I grew in an environment where popularity was the most appreciated; if you were ordinary (although with high quality of quotients), you would not be appreciated. I grew up humble and naive and knew nothing about (dirty) competition. If I’m not protected by the invisible, I would have lost every battle against opportunists and deceivers.
I’m so lucky to be surrounded by 7, pitu-pitulungan, a number the Javanese sacredly celebrate. And the three layers of 7? Definitely mine!
Thanks, 7. You’re not the 7 sins or evil other people consider. You’re not the 7 of bad luck on crap tables.
You’re a 3-layer 7 sent by the Life to protect me forever.
May all beings be happy.
Rebirth, Beloved,
Rose budding after winter,
Welcoming her spring
—————————————————————
A long lost friend texted me yesterday and asked if I could accompany her to buy sari and some Indian accessories for Deepavali Day celebration in the school where she is now working. Of course I made myself available. And we agreed to meet in Little India at 6pm which I missed. We both met at 6:30pm.
This friend was gone as if evaporating in 2017. Contacted, no reply, not even delivered. My last message to her in 2019 was “Are you still alive?”
Out of the blue she texted me using a new number in 2020 “How are you, friend? I miss you. Let’s meet up.” We were supposed to meet in October 2020 but never happened.
It was a cool rendezvous! We browsed the market to find the most beautiful yet the cheapest sets of costumes for the will-be-merry celebration.
At 9pm we decided to enjoy our dinner in one Indian restaurant before going home. And there she told me why she didn’t meet anyone of us. Now I become more and more convinced that the brightest person can have the darkest time in life. Luckily there’s a light at the end of the darkest tunnel if one is willing to move forward, not quitting.
We’ve been born as a human baby; and we can be reborn as anything good if we want to. One of the best is to be reborn as a new hope with good friends around!
The decision is ours.
May all beings be happy. 💝
Birthday, Beloved,
One step closer to the gate
To a rendezvous
———————————————————-
It’s my mother’s 77th birthday and she looked so happy when I called through my little brother’s phone. A happy day for all of us finding that she’s still happy and healthy in this age.
She’s a lady of the house. She’s respected by family and neighbours because of her kindness. She’s cheated though by the greed. She’s loved by her children at the same time official enemy of all of them at certain time. I personally have a shade of rivalry against her, she did envy me how I would be closed with and always got constant support from my father. 😂
My friends want to be like her but I don’t. I don’t want to be like her because her life was too tough. She was born in a period of war, raised mostly without a father and be given a lot of ups and downs in her personal journey. Lucky that she was married to a humble, kind, hard working man and they became one of the best couples in our humble world.
Happy birthday, Ibu. I wish you happiness. 💝 Long happy life! See you at our dining table on your 78th birthday. 😘😘😘😘😘😘
Lots of love as always,
Your daughter (stubborn yet sweet) 😊
Green hedge keeps growing.
It’s beauty and protection,
Keeping bugs away.
————————————————————
Some boundary should be set. Yes, it should. In certain situation it becomes a must.
When I was young, I used to think friendship ought to be taken for granted. This person’s young eyes were not sharp enough to recognise which was pure gold and which was gold-plated. Manipulation was never known by this mental dictionary. All smiles and good words were the same to me, they meant kindness.
After knowing what gold is, now it is clearer who should play in my garden of life a little bit deeper as real friends, those who can safe-keep more information about this precious journey. My smiles and good heart are free of charge for everyone, but beautiful green hedge with a humble strong gate will select who can enter the gate then the front door then living room then library then dining room then kitchen or finally to my bedroom. Not all are allowed to stay in for too long with privileges. Some couriers of messages or packages can only stay for one minute or two for the delivery then off they should go!
Boundary is not necessarily a fort. Beautiful plants around this home should be clearly understood that permission is required for guests to enter the premises.
I know when people don’t want me in their circle and that’s fine. So, I hope people know that my green hedge is the limit. Stepping on the line means violation and security alarm will go off.
Stop there, dear friends. Fix yourself before fixing others. Your experiences are not needed here. 😸
May all beings be happy.
Where is the kitchen, Dear?
Done; now dining area—
Let’s dine together.
————————————————————
Some discussion is naturally heating and escalating. And a recent one with some friends was one of them.
Started with questions of why do those people do this and that in the name of religions? What do you think about what happen in those countries?
“Perhaps none of the things in a religion is wrong. It is the interpretation of the script, interpretation is product of thinking that can be wrong or inappropriate. Many religious people rigidly think that only their interpretation is the truth. Only they can go to heaven. They behave as if they are the committee of heaven who decide who can enter the gate. They claim this and that. They don’t give space to others to present different opinions. For example the dark face of Islam nowadays is because of the image given based on how the Holy Quran is interpreted and presented by popular groups (minor percentage unfortunately) and it might not be the real teaching.
That religious interpretation has not built in vacuum chamber. It’s been loaded with political interests and competitions among scholars who have had different thinkings and interests based on whatever their strongest points at a certain time. Things have not been purely and objectively dedicated to the welfare and safety of ummah (people). It’s been always power and money.”
To me religion is a kitchen where a host optimises cooking skills and high standards of all ingredients and processes; attitude is a dining area where the host serves the best food to the guests with kindness and respect. I harvested this wisdom from a Javanese elder years ago and since then stopped religion discussion with those who only want to create tension or force belief to me.
Acceptance that truth is layered (personal, shared/agree, absolute) and should be respected is now my standpoint. Institutional religion is not my interest anymore. All religions are unbroken chains of stages of human beings’ ethical values development on earth.
Personal truth is what one believes with all the concoction of what one holds based on one’s understanding and experiences. In this layer religions can be very private and unique, based on how one has been raised since one was fetus up to now. My truth might not be yours and the vice versa.
Shared/agreed truth is agreements about things. This agreement becomes what are believed and strived by a group of individuals be it friendship, society, organization, sect, country, etc. In this layer religions might be used (even abused) to be commodity to drive policy and power; or institution to build boundary and authority.
Absolute truth is the core truth, no bias no spectrum, the vacuum chamber. In this layer religion might be nothing but a concept misunderstood, misinterpreted, mistreated, misused by many human beings. This absoluteness never belongs to any creatures on earth even Prophets, Messengers or Saints. It is the privilege of The One who might have been misunderstood by every single believer or thinker or whoever on earth. The One will only give signs and symbols in order for human beings to clarify and verify the truth. The One gives all tangible and intangible senses as tools to decipher the signs and symbols; however, The One lets the creatures decide how the senses are used— whether the tools are well kept and calibrated to work well, it is up to them.
I don’t worry about how I practice religion. What those people think about a religion might be not right at all; of course I might be wrong either.
The Prophet said “I was sent to uphold and complement ethical values.”
How could a group of people claim they do the right interpretation of the religion by doing unethical things? Discrimination, harassment, abuse, killing, stealing (corruption included), cheating (manipulation included), etc…. Is this the right thing as what the Prophet did teach about ethical values?
I guessed not. Now I don’t believe so and I don’t think so. Sadly many read text without context— jokingly intelligent.
Some days are tough when questions about religion bother.
I’m sorry, dear friends. I can’t always agree with you.
May all beings be happy.
Some green book wasn’t green;
As black as history; fun
As unique friendship.
————————————————————
A good watch for the weekend 🎉
How a trip makes a friendship.
How seat position makes different points of view.
How sweet words move a heart.
How a movie draws smiles.
How would you think?
Life is eternal.
Strand of dimensions through time
Bargained with good deeds
Also sins. How long? You guess.
Till creation’s obsolete?
————————————————————
September is the month when age becomes major contemplation.
How can I get older yet be more stupid?
There is a consistent concern: that the older I am, the more things I don’t know. This impression grows stronger every year. There is only one getting better: forgetting people’s names. 😎
Will there be a world where I’m not getting older, not getting younger but growing better and brighter? I don’t know….
The convo with this good friend has always left me in deep thoughts about my own self especially in September. Thanks for the chat and good contemplation, Mbak Nungki.
Salam….
Canna, you’re a maze.
An intricate bright beauty—
May I have jasmine?
———————————————————-
Some people behave like a maze alive. While impressing others with beautiful look, fascinating sweetness, deathly charms; they often hide the truest true.
Perhaps they are not ready with vulnerability as a result of experiences of untrue relationships. Or, the worst scenario is they have hidden agenda.
While it works wonder in literary or art (some authors or artists want anonymity or pseudonymity, and their works are better sold), it won’t work in friendship. It will be a total failure to some extent.
What are people trying to hide from those called closest friends…. if at the end the untruthfulness stops the friendship from functioning well? Why should ones be pretending?
To someone who is being forced by life for a seclusion:
Please be strong and learn to be vulnerably honest about yourself to your own self.
Wish you the best of the best. You’re a butterfly in the making. 💝
May all beings be happy….
Do you want to know,
Beloved? He’s an Angel,
Outcasted. Fallen
Of jealousy, arrogance.
So is your pride, Beloved?
——————————————————-
I was sitting on my bike checking the left side of AirPods that was not well connected and so lost the audio when someone stopped by and asked,”Are you lost? What way are you trying to find?”
“Oh no, no, no. I’m checking my audio.”
“Oh, I thought you’re lost ha… See map or what haha”
“No, no. Thank you, thank you, Uncle!”
His question “are you lost” reminded me to one who used to live in an exquisitely designed place called heaven and because of losing one’s clear thinking, one was outcasted. One became incompatible with one’s original position.
Who is that one? Those who read religious history of human creation might know, yet I’m not interested to think of the individual. One’s characters, actions and the implication become more relevant to ponder in my situation at that time.
And it calmed me down.
Sometimes losing pride is so significant to a human being. Sometimes failure to show one’s dignity or ability becomes the core of the day. Others’ perception has overridden the real importance of a success itself, or an action. In that situation someone can turn into a jealous, arrogant, irrational who thinks of two: fight or flight, while one should simply stay calm and collected.
Underestimation or humiliation if accepted positively might be simply inability to perceive what is or misunderstanding of self love. In short only those without knowledge and love will underestimate or humiliate others.
Why should I be upset? What a waste!
I don’t want to outcast my own self from the beauty of being a human being just because of forgetting who this person really is. Forget about jobs or credentials; both are not significant when alone meeting with one’s self.
I don’t want to ignore what’s happening inside just because of my own or others’ perceptions. Let them say I’m low; I’m not low although I’m never high. Let them say I’m nothing; I’m not nothing although I’m nobody. Let them say I’m meaningless; I’m not meaningless although I don’t mean to be the most meaningful of all.
Oh Lord, thanks for sending me an old wise man to show the other side of a coin.
Thanks for making me a human being so I won’t live forever outcasted in arrogance and jealousy.
Dear, Arrogance. Dear, Jealousy. Although not forever, you are still living here now comfortably. Be tamed for me.
Blessings, Beloved,
Accepting with no review—
See it differently.
———————————————————-
Today’s short message from a wise friend takes one of the longest thought. Lucky me for being alone so the time and space is serving just me.
Sometimes our emotion isn’t our emotion. It might be someone else’s that sits in us because some people entrust the emotions to us when sharing their burden to us. Believe it or not there is exchange of energy when beings are interacting with each other. We get sad when our family is sad. We are upset when our best friends are betrayed. We can be devastated when our pets pass away. The scale of the impact depends on how deeply they get hurt and/or how vulnerable we are to them. As simple as that.
When I asked this good friend why people or incidents are not avoidable although I’ve made best effort to stay away. Her message is “karma”. She is a Buddhist so that reply is her logical response. Besides I see the logic of karma thing.
Although I can’t tangibly prove that I live repeated lives, I live in karma system. If I do good, I get good. I do no good, I get no good. Simple and straightforward forward— whether the cause is the good one in the past affecting the current situation; or the present good deed affecting the future (not necessarily related to repeated life), that’s a certainty
But why the karma isn’t working as one to one? No, karma works like someone who plants mango seed – one mango seed will only give its fruits when it’s ready and the one seed will give the farmer hundreds of mango fruits. That karma. Alamak….!
So what should I do, Bude? I asked my friend.
Her message (translated into English word by word): that is your task of compassion.
So?
Accept it. Grow more good seeds that bad one. Pour clean water to your jug that is filled with dirty water until the jug is overflown with clean water and the dirty is flushed out.
So I can’t avoid them and don’t need to avoid them. The only thing I should do is to accept them without review. The only mandatory review is to my own emotions; understanding whether the emotion is my emotion or unnecessary impact that happens because of weak protection membrane around my own self.
This is not new thing for all of us. Yet 2020 and 2021 have been field of emotional battle in which I’ve learnt how to identify my own and others’. What a period! I wish all is getting better with the upcoming birthday. Amen.
So lucky to have good friends who are willing to accompany me in this journey.
Dear God, love me and love all my good friends. Thank you for giving the blessings of friendship, true one with true one. Please let me stay in the true one.
Salaam.
Time flies, Beloved
Wraps a flying plane. Bless me
At my travel end.
————————————————————
Finally met my Sensei again after some time! In June I took a break because of some sickness and work. In July and early August she did because she had to take care of her family who were infected with the virus.
We didn’t open the book at all last night. Only a happy reunion checking what had happened for the past 2.5 months without meeting just some hello via messaging. Conversation flew about language, culture and personal experience dealing with both.
At one point she interestingly described about pleasure and purpose that compose happiness.
She decided to retire from her position as a VIP in one of the biggest business empire in the world before she was 40. She knew that she could not work forever and she wanted her own self not her age to decide when she had to quit. She thought she was ready and here she is now, an independent woman with a lot of personal projects and teaching Japanese with a style!
When she worked, she did with all her heart. She didn’t involve herself in office politics that made her not a social darling but definitely made her a genuine and independent loyal. She made decision with wisdom and integrity that made her a leader-maker but at the same time a strong gate of ethics. And she shined in her own way!
A sun is a sun when it knows when it rises and sets. And my Sensei is one.
She said it was a pleasure to work in her position with much luxury but she left because she didn’t see the real purpose she was serving. She was rich but true happiness was missed. She moved out from her luxurious apartment in the heart of Jakarta and rent it out, and moved to her mother’s home – a home full with flowers and good neighbours in East Jakarta. She restarted balancing pleasure and purpose.
Pleasure makes someone’s life sustain but without purpose there is no true sustainability. When one outgrows the other, happiness tank isn’t optimised. Pleasure and purpose is also a blend of colours that creates a perfect hue.
When I said whether she was afraid of losing the grip for having no routine, she said yes for the first two months of her early retirement; she felt somewhat regret of giving up the corporate vibe. She felt like cutting herself off from the world. In those two months she just went out eating, driving, cleaning the house. And after that her life started to bloom in different ways.
She found many more opportunities that she didn’t even know existing. And she is still rich with more leisure time and true friends. She said life is miracle.
Before pandemic she often traveled to smaller islands in the archipelago as a volunteer and annually visited Japan as her old habit. She said she wants to continue that after the pandemic is over, when Heaven knows.
When I said I wish I could do it, she said no. She said what I’m doing is what she dreamt of in corporate life before: having the pleasure of working with purpose. Conversation went more even livelier, we skipped the Japanese lesson and shared about our dreams. A more interesting class!
Last night was one of the great time in life when the feeling of balance surrounds me.
It was 1:07am when we finally said good bye. See you next week, Sensei! Thanks for the lessons.
Life is full of Teachers. Learn from them. But don’t forget the Master in you, live with one with love.
May all beings be happy.
rike jokanan 
You must be logged in to post a comment.