graphs of my Universe
I’m a torch no more.
I’m a morning for my day
To be. Am I free?
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Just one click! Then the monitor shows something brighter and full of hopes! Vast ocean of happiness—
Why is it so blocked to be optimistic? Take a mirror, unlock just one sweet smile, look into the smiling face more deeply a little bit longer and know why…. Dear, Love. Just one click!
May all beings be happy.
Where are you, oh dear?
Mountains and oceans are passed
By with beauty glued
As memory. Beloved,
Where’s the next stop? Peek a boo!
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When I was young; I joined spiritual workshop, class, training; read spiritual books, journal, articles; listened to spiritual preaching, cassettes, radio programs; name more —mostly informal, some non-formal, one formal not finished oh I’m blessed that It wasn’t. Whenever I was asked why I did, I would say “I wanna know God.”
Hopeless popus!*
Has anyone experienced this looking-sophisticated-but-actually-comical thing? Thanks God (s/he’d like to be censored actually) I’m not alone in this zero to zigzagging journey— from being very excitedly curious to being a drunken master. 🤪
What a blessed journey it was!
If I’m supposed to tell that young me when starting through the reading of those looking-sophisticated-yet-actually-comical random materials, I would say “Hey, Lady Haha! You should have a map but a destination is paramount!”
And I still feel so blessed!
May all haha moments be deciphered. 😊
* refer to the video of “How To Dad” in “How To Teach A Kid Curse Words”.
Bruised and scarred she is;
A stained-glass window to see
Both sides of her world.
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22:22 / Sunday – June 6, 2021
I thought all of those were wounds and warts until observing carefully. I’ve been living with a beautiful stained-glass window which puts colours and gives unique perspectives when seeing inside and outside. As long as it doesn’t derail from being a human being, I think I’m blessed.
Why shouldn’t I be thankful and happy? 💞
And….
May all beings be happy.
Salam.
Where to go? Let’s go!
River never knows but flows.
This is estuary,
Beloved, sea welcomes you.
Black to blue is true. Slow down....
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One of my best friends is flying to Bali this morning. She’ll live in her most favourite island for how long only Heaven knows.
We knew she has dreamt of living in Ubud without knowing how to materialise it as she’s a full time employee in Jakarta and her job requires her to sit in front of her computer for 8 hours a day 5 days a week. Bali was just a holiday or weekend escapade that helps refresh before going back to the busy metropolis.
We had a 3-hour call last night, celebrating her flight to her paradise! She’s happy. I’m happy for her.
How can I not believe that this pandemic is a blessing? It has moved someone’s cubicle to her living room then to her mother’s home, and soon to a beautiful place where dreams have lingered for Heaven knows how long. I can imagine how serene and fun her productivity will be!
May all beings be happy.
Happy and healthy
Two to walk, to cook good food—
About the balance
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Have ever questioned why duality is everywhere? Right left. Hot cold. Bright dark. Name it.
So much about duality in which one finds oneness as the balance after these years of living and to many years to continue living— With less and less confusion for sure
Harmony
Black in white, white in black
Polarity well comprehended
Centeredness in busy hours
Distance between zero and infinity
May all beings be happy.
How sweet is a day?
Take a bowl of taste, sit down.
Nature’s gift is real.
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There is always a way to make a good day as long the stove has fire. Cooking can be one tastiest meditation. Stewed pumpkin and crunchy cashew nuts!
Did my father teach me how to curse? 😁
This dad has made me work hard to recall what and how my father taught us to do things as kids. 🤩
He’s a Javanese and a Buddhist. It’s always a perfect combination when someone can blend one’s belief with one’s own root. A blessings!
It’s never about what religion one holds, it’s about a good heart one nurtures.
So blessed to be born as a female human being, a Javanese, raised by parents of different religions and nurtured by complex environments, living around people of different walks of life and various nationalities and so much diversity—
Never want any other way than this. Thank you, Life…. 💝
Salaam.
When chords are played,
Heart beat tunes its harmony.
Song of peace and grace—
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Bengawan Solo is always giving me home wherever it is. There is a river flowing in me.
What happiness brings?
Smiles, grins, and message of love
From long unmet friends—
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Two cute jars of Lebaran cookies and a beautiful message from my dear niece whom I haven’t met for more than one year due to this pandemic and some illness, while we live only 5 kilometers away.
How are you, Lotus?
Your beauty was raised by mud.
Do you remember?
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Life story needs foundation. It is often time a bog of mud.
What about now, Love?
Now’s the time. Maybe no later—
Happiness can’t wait.
🐣
There is moment for every experience, there is expiry date for every life.
Young people, be vibrant, idealistic and fiery.
Grab the chance to be the agent of change! Change all the dead skin! Don’t change the sacred soul!
Young generation, you’re just gorgeous! Very much thankful to be young before and still feeling the vibe until now through all what I see in you!
I never regret of getting older every day ‘coz when I was young, I was on the side of those needing the loudest voice!
May all beings be happy. 💞
I just can’t hold sharing this. Humanity, that’s the keyword. Not even religion or religiosity; I’m not interested in dragging a topic to an exclusive faith. It’s simply about how human beings respect fellow human beings.
If one is against violence, one shouldn’t think of geography. It is about access of information. Violence, cruelty happens in all continents in many forms and different levels of brutality. A prolonged one might be the most political one.
Choose which power you want to use to be opponent of violence: whether it’s the strongest of active overt actions; or your diplomatic words and share of wisdom; or through prayer in heart which is the weakest of all. At least one….
May all beings be happy. 🤍
Without knowing it,
You’ve made me happy. Truly
You’re the sunshine. One—
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It is almost time to sleep and I am not waiting for another sunshine because the only one sun is shining every hour around this rotating globe. That’s enough to be happy to have a 24/7 sunshine.
Let it share its light spreading hope everywhere it is faced by all opening eyes on earth. Not an empty hope— 🐣
Weekend is always a sweet space. Oops nope nope…. I mean it is sweet except with the awaiting laundry….. 😩
Thanks that I forget,
When not forgive. Not easy
But age will make it.
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Who isn’t happy getting old? One should remember getting old means forgetting painful and/or shameful experiences.
Yes to getting older every year? Oops! Even every second! Yes!
Forget more things and be happier. Like Dory 🥰
Palate, hard or soft,
Still rules.... Voice or taste with which
Days are counted on—-
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After three giant scoops of sinful ice cream, let’s enjoy the day with much and much vegetable and protein! This must happen the whole day! Or the whole week 😩
Life is always good by ignoring nerve and counting the blessings.
Happy Vesak Day!
Sugar, sugar please.
Sometimes only sweetness works.
Is it tongue or brain?
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When palate should win over everything, taste is the only one can help….
Tongue twisted by words;
By taste, too that kicks the sense;
A toast to the health!
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Of being human:
Letting others be human
Although for a while.
If only human being is being human, giving up other predicates just for a while. If they give up the wrong concept of being religious, maybe no one will need to say “I’ll do whatever I want” because everyone respects everybody.
Humanity, Human, humanity.
What is meaningful?
None until you taste. Senses,
Vehicles to ride—
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Watching “Soul” the movie, I’ve been impressed by the jazz, the colours and Dorothea Williams’ young fish saying “this is water!”
Some discomfort makes you stay home and sit to get some comfort from movies.
Next!
So you need to move To be happy? Yes. Move to Your kind heart. Stay. Smile.
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I had a group call with some good friends and we asked one favourite friend how she could be always light and calm even when she didn’t have enough materially.
Just as a description about her (with her consent): This kind, humble, strong, cheerful, a bit crazy lady is a widow with two children (both finished their education and are now working to support themselves). Her husband left her without anything for another woman. She works a lot of temporary jobs to survive. She lives in a very small rented house until now. She earns less than USD500 per month. She supports her brother who is physically impaired. Yet she is the one that we run to for advices, wisdom, consolation and she never complains to us, her friends.
She said “Maybe I was born to be happy, happier than all of you hahaha…. Let me put it this way. I’m light because my life is simple. I know I don’t have that much others have and that’s why my happiness measure isn’t the same with theirs. I don’t even think of what you think of to spend a holiday. I know you get upset when your food isn’t good; I think good food is about something edible, clean and filling, not about palate.
And I’m calm because I believe people appreciate me the way I am. Some people think too much about how they look and start behaving pretentiously. I’m not. This is me, carefree, open, comfortable with myself. And I don’t want to hurt others. People might not like it; I just need to be nice and stay away.”
“Are we your friends, Mbak?” We teased her.
“Stupid question! Yes! Because you appreciate me not with money but simply with friendship although you girls can look very ugly when very busy; annoying when very stressed! You just need to go back to this!” She put her right palm on her left upper chest where heart is.
This type of friend makes us real. One who appreciates others not through what is materially defined and knows that one one’s self is appreciated genuinely.
I don’t have to move to Finland or Denmark to be happy. Of course not with nothing. A good laugh and some chocolate (good chocolate I mean) should be the least. Honestly I still want to at least travel there! 🤪
May all beings be happy.
Red fades away of Talks, drinks, not kisses. Lovely, Lively, blessed long day.
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You want to drink more after talking, you do. Drink! Water, not alcohol.🫖
You don’t want to look pale even when you’re too tired, you don’t. Put lipstick. Why did I even put lipstick when I didn’t turn on the video in the call? 🧐
Long day is as short as short when you know what you’re doing.
May all beings be happy.
Balance off? Get up! Round wheels, thousands of chances— Some laughter won’t harm.
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When joy overrides pain, laughter is the best medicine!
No one sees! Only ghosts are around! Laugh again! More loudly!
She walks to a place, Knowing it or not. She’s timed, Knowing it or not.
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One used to want to be a doctor then changed to be an engineer then to a flight attendant then to a journalist then to a teacher then to a writer then to be rich then to be happy and peaceful then to be a human being…. Maybe someday she will change, who knows?
Hope time and space take the side on her.
🐣
Too much love will kill Who? None. Love will overflow, Reviving the death.
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Finally an agreement was achieved among some friends to start a project to support a few batik makers that we know and to spread knowledge about batik from unique perspectives. There will be video about batik, the batik artisan’s life and thin slices of Javanese wisdom. And so I have to restart the old hobby that has been dormant for how long only heaven knows.
Can’t wait to travel to dear home-base-will-be and produce slides and shows….
Hope it works well.
Friendship nurtures human beings in many ways possible.
What is in the spread? A bunch of grub and wisdom Don’t leave any bit.
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It is Lebaran today.
I put what I cooked on the table (the only table in the house), took picture of it and sent to those with whom I would love to enjoy it together on Hari Raya: family, close friends and some colleagues. This year, we’re virtually enjoying it through pictures or video calls! What an exciting morning!
Rice cake (ketupat or lontong in Indonesia), sayur labu siam (chayotes in coconut milk), opor ayam (chicken opor, the yellow soup), beef rendang and sambel goreng kentang (potato sambal), kerupuk (crackers), nuts, sweet cookies from Bengawan Solo, and of course fruits! Enjoy!
And what’s under the spread? Table cloth of batik with “nitik” motif.
Nitik is a Yogyakartan-style batik which is traditionally dark colour (sogan in Javanese) with lighter colour background compared to Solo style. Nitik is the shortened structure of “nggawe (making) titik (dots)” that immediately shows the appearance of the motif, thousands of dots forming some geometrical patterns.
Historically this motif has been believed as the simplicity and humbleness of the designers and makers who were ordinary women in the villages which were located outside of city centre (palace). This motif came into palace environment after certain period of time and finally integrated into many designs.
Interestingly nitik is a Javanese word that can also mean niteni or marking based on data or facts. So, simple and humble of human beings character can show something bigger if gathered and analysed carefully. Ah my…. Why should it be that complex? Just enjoy the batik beauty, Beloved.
Selamat Hari Raya!
May all beings be happy. 💞
When moments collide, Time slows down, space enlarges. A coincidence?
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Based on solar calendar, it is my father’s birthday today. Based on lunar calendar it is his death commemoration.
Mathematically the two calculations are crossing, astronomically celestial bodies are in moving in harmony, momentarily it’s just a coincidence. To his family it’s a special moment— celebrating a point when an important human being’s life in the world is started and ended.
God bless you, Bapak. Happy 0th birthday! Are you watching me? Thank you. But no need, just take a rest, I’m safe now. 😘
Mistake? Oopsie-do! I do, they might do. Oopsie! Mistake is lesson.
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When I found that I wrongly saw the date…. Alamak! The Lebaran isn’t tomorrow, it’s the day after tomorrow. It means I still have one more day for fasting….. 😝
And I exclaimed “Oopsie-do!”
Lesson learnt: Don’t be too excited about food.
Blessing in disguise: one annual leave + one public holiday = heaven on earth
One awaited day, A line to end and to start A cycle. Nom nom nom!
This is the second Ramadhan without going out of this island. It feels serene. It is Lebaran (Ied) tomorrow. Many Muslim feel it is a happy sad time to end Ramadhan knowing that it is when they will celebrate a big day, realising that they might not meet with the next Ramadhan. For most Muslim Ramadhan is one of the most prominent and favorite months of the year with different reasons.
This person?
While it is culture that nurtures the vibe of Ramadhan in someone’s life, at the same time it is one’s personal experience that defines how meaningful and beautiful it is in one’s life.
My best Ramadhan was when I was a teenager. Ramadhan meant long holiday, browsing around from one “langgar” (small hut designated to pray together and teach how to read the Quran, usually won’t be used for Friday or ‘Ied prayer like mosques is, I never found extreme teaching in any of langgar I visited by then) to another, from one mosque to another looking for which prayer was the shortest and the most crowded with children to play with after. We would meet new friends, new games and new snacks every Ramadhan!
We also loved gathering food on the day for breakfast time when finally all the food could not be enjoyed. After fasting for 3 consecutive days, you can’t eat more than half of your normal. Your belly shrink! It didn’t stop us from gathering food though. Greedy child!
Clean if not new clothes is a recommended to wear in Ied. The clean and/or new clothes symbolise the self as spiritually newly born and pure gold after being “burnt” in the hottest month of the twelve. I loved it, I loved it, I loved it! I don’t buy clothes in Lebaran anymore, that’s not excited anymore and it has become an impulsive buying.
Ramadhan doesn’t feel that fun and full of adventures anymore to me. Aside from because of living in a place where legal restrictions will make people more citizen rather than human beings, no excitement of celebration involving cheerful crowd except scheduled and arranged by the authority; as an adult mature I “should” put more “less innocent” meaning in order to adjust with what the surroundings expect from me. How time flies but memories stay implanted in one’s remembrance.
In the opinion of this “aging me” fasting isn’t only about no eating, no drinking, no sex on the day. It is more about a structured self management: when to push the gas pedal and when to kick the brake. That’s life to me now: how effective the brake is working, not how outstanding the gas pedal is.
Anyway, Lebaran is also when Muslim should turn into butterfly after being a cocoon for one month. If they don’t, they should not look into the mirror. How could you be a cute caterpillar forever?
See how happily and how long a butterfly will live. No doubt that once one lies eggs, the next cycles will repeat soon. I myself am ready to eat big on the Lebaran’s day; a caterpillar mode on. Let’s cook tonight then eat tomorrow!
rike jokanan 
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