graphs of my Universe
As if I’m not there.
Floating— I’m a drone over
You, who never cares.
Singapore – July 14, 2020 / 20:24
—-
Expectation is like gravity to a plane that is taking off leaving the runway. Fly away to the destination! Expectation will only overkill your dream especially if the one that you want is not the one that can appreciate sincerity.
May all beings be happy.
Messy like heaven.
After cooking I feel tired
Of all the dirty
Pots, plates, spoons, knives and rubbish.
Full without eating—
—
I am naturally a picky eater, but trying my best to eat every thing served as long as healthy and non poisonous. I even let myself eat those I’m allergic to – just to prove to this weak Self that this body can bear the poison though has failed now and then.
Today I cooked one traditional food from Java island of beautiful archipelago, my dear Indonesia – buntil.
It is stuffed cassava leaves wraps, you can also use papaya leaves. The content can be as cheap as grated young coconut only or added with anchovy or meat or any protein that you wish to have in the meal. This time I make a fusion – buntil stuffed with Korean stir fried anchovies with pumpkin seed and walnuts. The fusion is just because I could not find the seed that originally cooked in the Java island, we call it “petai Cina” (please use your freedom to find what it is in Google). I bought the Korean side dish coz I don’t know how to make it.
This is cheap and humble dish that is traditionally eaten as side dish with rice. But it has become a rare food where I live now – even people from Indonesia might not find it interesting anymore. Not sure why but alas! Everybody has one’s own liking. I’m so grateful that the cleaning lady knocked my door and brought some earth products that I’ve missed dearly – bamboo shoot, banana flower, cabai rawit and cassava leaves! So why not making food that I’ve missed so dearly, too.
I’m happy with the result, knowing that there are details of ingredients and still a good success. But the after cooking was not so happy seeing piles of dirty containers and cooking utensils that I had to wash by myself…. Heaven!
Anyway! Let’s see the happy scenes! Unhappy scenes of cleaning and tidying up the shelves and cabinets are off the records!
Welcome next good week!
May all beings be happy….
When you miss your friends and you can’t meet them, just FaceTime. When you miss your childhood memories that you can’t revive, just YouTube!
I found an interesting YouTube channel and just by watching the videos I feel so full and feel like home. Can’t stop watching, liking and sharing them!
The game in one of the videos reminds me of when I was young, competing eating the most chili with the least veggie fritter. Oh how I miss gorengan and cabe rawit!
😁
I prefer bokeh.
My eyes stare, brain relaxes.
Focused on nothing.
—
I just wanna sleep, blurring my memories in the slumberland and dream sweet about you…. Have a good vibe, Universe!
May all beings be happy.
Beauty is Nature
Married to Culture. Others?
All failed engagement—
Yet you’ll find culture too shy
And wrapped in modernity.
Singapore – Jul. 3, 2020 / 0:48
—
I miss going someplace, any place where land is covered with nature mixed with friendly people….
May all beings be happy.
Slowing down footsteps
Pace along an ancient route.
Trace back your soul path.
Now here
—
Thought sometimes gets puzzled why thing happens to the Self, while logically she has made best possible efforts to control it not to emerge into events. At times emotions pour like heavy rain or they numb all nerves.
Then the Self realises that all is about tracing back the soul path: paying one’s karma, optimising one’s dharma.
Dear, Self.
You’d better pass major lessons in the current life. You shouldn’t want to fail the same lessons: acting lame or repeatedly meeting lame spirits wrapped in different physical planes, or both at the same time.
Dear, Beloved.
If it is not done,
Don’t let me slip from Your hands.
May all beings be happy….
You’re different, my Love.
Don’t turn your full life to none.
Keep your head. Alone….
Singapore – Jun. 26, 2020 / 22:31
—
I won’t let you change your life just to be with me. Fly, dear Self.
As you wish
‘Coz you’re the master of your own Life.
May all beings be happy.
Stumbled on music,
Ears hum into melody.
Life is always good.
Singapore – Jun. 24, 2020 / 21:11
—
Life is always good with music.
May all beings be happy.
Eyes are partying.
Sleepless night is back online.
Is lockdown over?
Singapore – Jun. 24, 2020 / 12:45am
My desk misses me so much!
Pardon, your bed misses you so much?
No. It’s the bike misses me so much!
Oh? You mean the couch misses you so much?
May all beings be happy.
Picture borrowed from Shusama Patel Thank you….
When the Rain hugs her,
Sun is weaving Light spectrum.
Does she see the arch?
Singapore – June 22, 2020 / 23:32
—-
I love the rain as it warms my heart and waters my hopes.
May all beings be happy.
Morning greets sweetly
Eyes that open lazily.
Love is truly blind.
Singapore – June 19, 2020 / 21:40
—
Only human beings own the ability to manipulatively respond to anything, while other beings will always respond honestly as they are. Morning will always present bright colours either with the shining sun, cooling rain, wrapping cloud, awaiting meeting, and other possible hustle-bustle of the job; yet people will not always smile in the morning. There are those choosing to start the day with heavy burden and drudging steps.
If you wanna see what true love is, find the love shown by the nature and learn through it.
May all beings be happy.
Can Wind vanish, Love?
Look how pressurised we’ve been!
Just give me soft Breeze.
Singapore – Jun. 18, 2020 / 21:30
—-
Sometimes you wonder why the wind blows all the hopes. Sometimes you want strong wind to dry your sweat. Sometimes you are longing for soft, nice breeze to accompany you in a solo journey. Nothing is permanent….
May all beings be happy.
Listen to the masks
Hanging ear to ear. Take one,
Let the party start.
Singapore – Jun. 17, 2020 / 19:45
—-
You need your masks, not to hide but to show the kindness of a human being even if you have to suffer in the dark.
May all beings be happy.
Awake while asleep:
Concocting cocktails of dreams,
Or mocktails of facts—
Singapore – Jun. 15, 2020 / 18:30
—
If you think your life is too crazy, drink some mocktail. If too plain, add a bit of cocktail. Don’t let any concoction make you either 100% asleep or fully awake.
You get that, dear Self?
May all beings be happy.
The lost paradise
Found— By whom? Where? When? And how?
By you, here, now….. Halt!
Between two heart beats, you see
The realm of a peaceful mind.
Singapore – Jun. 10, 2020 / 21:45
There is time when Mr Grey is reluctant to evaluate others’
Actions,
Motions,
Emotions,
Notions—
For as much as the head’s dullness, true colours won’t lie
And untrue intentions will reveal.
In the mode of working class,
Putting layered of dignified masks in silence,
Enchanting intelligent chorus in public,
Smirking in the dark.
Beloved dedication
Decorated with
Stabbing behind—
….
Doesn’t it matter?
No—
Take a time
As long as Time wishes to be with you:
Hiding behind true Smile,
Singing in the Heart,
Reciting poems in the Soul.
Someday
When the floor invites you to dance,
Offering the best music of Life,
Then down to the floor!
Dance until the Light fades away
Which is never.
Now
Observe all the moves
Of the masks around you
Which will undo themselves
One by one.
May all beings be happy.
Singapore – Jun. 9, 2020 / 21:58
It says thanks to you
For showing true and untrue
Through this emotion.
Singapore – Jun. 1, 2020 / 22:15
—
Realising that a gift is not merely about a special thing wrapped beautifully but more about the true among the untrue is a gift itself. No matter how it feels inside until now, I still thank you.
What a beautiful Life!
May all beings be happy….
Celebrate your day!
Every day! For all blessings
Poured down to your life.
Singapore – May 5, 2020 / 00:52
—-
Dear Self,
Every day is counted blessing, none of which is unworthy even if you experience unworthiness.
Never underestimate small detail. A piece of missing puzzle will break a big picture.
Thanks for all the blessed days, dear Life!
May all beings be happy. 🥰
What is new normal?
A set of taboos maybe
Or ancient practice—
Singapore – May 1, 2020 / 20:00
—
I feel an acceptable level of my new normals after two months of flexible work arrangement and no business trip. I wake up almost at the same time everyday – in my old normal I woke up in different time almost everyday because either of my flight, the pick up time or time zones.
I did my groceries very rarely; now regularly and enjoyably! Oh my god, I feel like going picnic in fact just going to either wet market or to Cold Storage 😁
I used to cook only at the weekend or holiday – sometimes not even because I would prefer going to my home country for short trips to meet my family and friends; now I cook literally every single day and I love it!
I did my laundry sometimes if it wasn’t done at the hotel; but now I handwash my clothes twice a week – big fabric like towels and bedsheet will still be thrown to washing machine.
I used to wear casual or sometimes dress for work; now I wear pyjamas, rompers or even just underwear when working as long as there is no conference call for the day!
And my plants have become happier – blooming orchids and growing rhizomes. 🥰
If these are new normals, would it be my normal even after the outbreak is cured? Might not all be….
I wish I have a better life after this circuit breaker and can keep some of the good and enjoyable things as my forever normal.
May all beings be happy.
None is left behind.
Humans, animals are saved—
Humanity served.
Here now, in my silent heart
—
Flood is everywhere in my beloved country (Indonesia) and rescuers are the physically busiest of all. The good things are getting better, not only humans but also animals are rescued. There shan’t be any to be left behind even those they call non human. Those that you love in your good time shall receive the same care in your bad time no matter who or what they are….
God bless all rescue units who have worked hard soaked in the flood to carry babies, children, women, old people and others underprivileged including animals pet or cattle. God bless them.
Anyone is functioned differently. Some are active on the field, some financing, some fixing the root causes, some whispering to the Universe to save all of us.
Sending love, prayer and whatever aid I can…. 💝
Incineration
Is open, ready to burn
Rubbish. All is well.
Singapore – December 31, 2019 / 20:40
—
New year again? 😼
Although a year is just an agreed cycle, it has always directed a human being (me) to (nervously) plan things – end of year feels like a Management System practice for me: reviewing all the goal, action, gap, errors, plan adjustment, take away and self-scolding of why-this-why-not-that. Of course I’ve failed in many corners and turns every single year. Umm…. It doesn’t matter, lovely Self. 😘
And taps on my shoulders are enough to celebrate some success. 😘
Learning from my stupidity, I decided to make 2020 an incineration. A central waste plant to destroy each and every memory and/or situation that doesn’t serve my journey anymore. Decluttering!
I have a long virtual list of those needing to be burnt! One of them could be YOU! 😁
Thank you, 2019 for the ride and lessons. You are loved, you are remembered. Rest In Peace.
Happy New Year 2020! Welcome, this new Self!
Health, Love, Stock Price!
I wish you are all blessed through your own blessings.
….. One more: God bless all animal rescuers on earth! 💝
A bowl of corn soup
Served for lunch without pepper—
Can’t be any better.
Singapore – December 27, 2019 / 21:00
—-
Mbak Sari cooks for me everyday during her stay and it makes my tummy full and happy. Today she made corn soup and I love it.
I remember years ago when I was a Uni student. My friend and I were “assigned” to take care of another friend who was hospitalised for long time while her parents lived in faraway island. Of course we didn’t have to cook for her as the hospital did but I can remember how difficult it was to convince her that all food was good and had to be finished so that she could get stronger and recuperated. Sometimes my friend would just tell us to eat the food that we refused.
Mbak Sari’s cooking is far from the taste of my friend’s hospital food. Mbak Sari’s is made perfectly with friendship love and care for me to recuperate soon.
Just 3 more days for her to stay…. Hope all her cookings do me good for those 3 days and I can get back to work completely up and around.
May all beings be happy.
💝
Before I know You,
My Dear. Before I know you,
I’ve loved the haiku.
Singapore – December 23, 2019 / 10:45am
—
Feeling painful and bored….
Hope days go by quickly
So that I can do things normally like doing household chores, writing haiku, drawing with pencils and working with MacBook or just speeding around on Brommie…..
I still Tell myself to be grateful for and love the boring days.
💝
Holiday season:
A knot in a rope acting
As connecting stop.
Shanghai – December 14, 2019 / 00:40
—-
There is always a space to halt before proceeding.
In a world of men
She mostly forgets to thank
For being woman.
Shanghai – December 12, 2019
—-
Why should we struggle to compete in a male dominated world? Why bother? Even when their logic doesn’t show they are logical, the men will always think they are more logical than women. So be it….
I want to be more relaxed, enjoying my privilege of being a woman. I realise I’ve given up many many things and I want to take them back!
It is time.
🎬
You are not alone.
Millions cry at the same time.
On different cause though—
Singapore – December 6, 2019 / 20:36
—
Dearest Nephews,
If you feel your problem is the most unbearable, it is hardly wrong. Yet yours won’t probably represent the most difficult ones.
Can you count how many people live on earth? All of them have issues – even worse, they have issues while they have no choice but living with those because of absence of resources and no help whatsoever.
And how many abused animals are there? Be thankful that you are not a karmic animal this time around. Or, maybe in next life if you are abusive to animals in present life. 😈
And how much abused the natural resources are? If you think they are not alive, you’d better think twice.
So don’t feel like you are the poorest human beings in the universe just because you can’t afford the latest version of PlayStation.
🥰
Ode to my Beloved
Please hear me saying
The words that sweep your sorrow.
I’m in love with you.
Please kiss the rosebuds
That will bloom at the next dawn,
Opening new day.
Please touch the dewdrops
For me. Can you feel the love
When the water bursts?
Please close your eyes now.
Look at the Sun in my heart.
Do you see a You?
Please taste through my Soul.
What color do you find there?
It does remain true.
Somewhere on Nov. 7 / 12:00 (a throwback to embrace a frozen heart)
Love is that bringing us to the now either with the five senses or the sixth.
Love is that neutralising past & future into lessons & hopes.
What can be better than to be you, my Beloved?
If being you feels annoying or painful, do remember that you were born to the world welcome by a mother’s love, a father’s pride, a family’s cheer and unlimited future.
So, love yourself.
Only by loving yourself you can clear the blocked path.
Namaste
When mind is set free,
I want to live forever
As long as with you.
Singapore – long weekend of Deepavali Day 2019
—
King of Swords and Queen of Swords turned to King of Wands and Queen of Wands after stumbled by The Tower. From icy cold to passionately loving characters
Amazing! Ramblin Mike’s cards were open so “coincidently” magical. But I believe nothing is coincident.
End of this long weekend has got a nice closure of a bitter wound that gradually turns into a sweet journey, even if having to wait for an unknown shadow of a you. Just with a zodiac reading — that I used to underestimate :-p
Lesson learnt: Don’t underestimate a small talk, it can change a cold heart and angry mind of Maleficent into a warm heart and liberating mind of Nala of The Lion King.
Useful links: My Lion King and Maleficent
Wanna see Ramblin Mike’s zodiac reading? Enjoy.
Shopping list failure’s
None of the items are shopped.
Impulsive buyer—
—
Have you ever listed all that you need to buy; but ended up buying things not even in the list. The wallet is thinner but the list is not shorter. Not again….
Blame the bookstore! Aio…
I’d like to thank to this link The Six Signs of Impulsive Buying for the picture 🙂
No need to tell them
That your heart bleeds dry of Love.
Theirs might have bled, too.
Here now with myself
Sometimes we cry in the dark alone because of repeated broken heart. Sometimes you just wanna leave, run somewhere where no hurt can be felt. Don’t! Just stay!
And don’t blame on others that you think have broken your heart. No. The heart is yours to embrace, to love, to fix, to regrow…. You can do it. Don’t tell them how suffering you are because they might suffer at the same level, or even worse.
Just pray…
That we all will value the Love better and never break any heart anymore,
Especially our own heart.
Salaam for all of you who love your heart. Take care.
The link below is where I borrow the picture from, it is a very beautiful writing about heart. The Most Beautiful Heart
https://madamsabi.wordpress.com/2014/08/24/the-most-beautiful-heart/
rike jokanan 
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