graphs of my Universe
Happy, Beloved,
Return to office saying
“Hi!” to real bodies
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My first day working in office after 23 months working from remote workplace felt like my first day joining the company. Excitement and thrill, this time with clarity, calmness and strong ground
Although not many, I met people in real bodies not their avatar.
Thanks for the new day!
Weekend, Beloved,
A bowl of green tea nicely
Served cold and creamy—
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Give yourself reward for being a brave person sometimes. 😎
For an ordinary person setting a clear boundary is enough a bravery. Sometimes a passive person should tell arrogant people “You can step on my shoulders to reach your goal ‘coz I’ll support anyone dreaming high but you mustn’t step on my head to underestimate a human being ‘coz I have the same right to be respected. Please excuse me this time to be equal and forever be.”
Happy weekend. 🤩
Live once, no regret,
Said banana trees. They die
After giving fruits.
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Listen, Beloved,
To Wind, Earth, Water, and Fire.
Metal does clank, too.
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A set of data is powerful only when the owner knows how to use it; it is equivalent to the ability of questioning leads to better result than ability of answering.
A good start is by collecting from different points. The more data points, the more valid and accurate answers will come up. One point will be misleading.
Salaaam….
Treasure’s treasured, why
In tombs guarded by legends?
It’s secret’s secrets.
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I’ve often thought that people living in this society is either living right at the bars or above the bars. It’s either we force ourselves to enjoy comfort that gives us uncomfortable consequences OR we comfortably enjoy whatever we have for comfort with just-right consequences. Today I learnt that there might be some super rich living in an area which “normal” millionaires here won’t even think as a good place to live. I read a news about a millionaire who in fact lives under their own bar with his family. Extraordinary!
So?
Ah! Life is just like that! There are choices to make and people make choices which (they think) they deserve.
Nothing is more liberating knowing that life still offers me wonderful news. It has proven me that life can be NOT-WYSIWYG. I would not imagine someone mistook my car as a grab car, while I were a super duper rich girl waiting for my friends to get on my Honda Vezel. 😃
Weekend, weekend! Happy weekend!
Does it suffocate
Or release? Up to the sky
Or stuck in the black?
Meet the wind. Fly to the far.
Let the chimney nobly stand.
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Chimney is a symbol of industrial era like church for religiosity, tower for secularity and all kinds of stars of spirituality.
Yet I found different interpretation of mine on chimney through Japanese books reading (very very elementary, all hiragana and katakana, I can only remember 15 kanji so far, hell yeah!). Chimney can be a symbol of fairy tales, dreams, ideas and creativity emerging from the dark, beautiful stories. What else? Ya, just use imagination to find what clicks in mind until the word “chimney” meets its lighter connotation against the one in paragraph 1.
Reading the books, I can’t deny some people really get blessed with extraordinary imaginary world and ability to materialise what’s in it by intertwining the intangible blessings with the tangible ones. Like the writer whose books I’ve read.
God bless you, Akihiro Nishino (should be with ~san). Thanks for the books you’ve written.
Read. Read. Read.
Read the letters. Read the lessons. Read between the lines.
🏭
Go solo travel
Through blocked road, dead end
With fright, thirst and hope!
Trees will tell you where to go.
Sun will tell you when to halt.
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I (almost) always travel alone and I love it. It is not only business trip but also travel for leisure.
My first impressive adventurous solo travel was at 12 with my red mini bike. I would bike from home to my uncle’s home in a hilly district. It was about one hour ride of 7 kilometers away excluding all the U turns of getting lost in quite rough terrain in the route. I was excited doing it though because of nieces and nephews waiting to play with and the agriculture experience to enjoy. The up-hill biking to uncle’s home was my private getaway until my little brother insisted joining.
Another impressive solo travel of mine was in Bandar Lampung where I visited elephant and rhino conservation centres. Unfortunately the sweet young me was still innocent that people thought I was welcoming them; and I got sexual-physically harassed. Lucky me to be saved by a bus driver — wherever you are (maybe you away already because you looked like 60 years old when I was 26), you are blessed, Pak Supir!
And the excitement of the first impressive solo travel and the most dangerous one have combined to be a sufficient foundation for me to be a 99% solo traveler until now.
Traveling solo, I learn and improve how to cope with life challenges: languages, culture, human behaviour, security, etc. Yet I can enjoy the trips as I wish without having to wait for others moving slower or having to be dragged by others moving faster. It is almost always about excitement, freedom and privacy!
The bravest trip of mine was to Bangladesh in 2011. Plane touched down at 12am. Taxi waited in a corner that will be considered dangerous spot by any normal women on earth. Hotel was totally different from what was described online. Food was a bit below my hygiene par but I had to show my respect by eating with (fake) happy look! Yet I was truly happy to meet 3 new friends who hosted me with genuine hospitality (no fakey smiley like in some countries on earth I won’t mention); they brought me to city parks, mosques, slum areas, high end areas, etc in Dhaka. That was one paradoxically the happiest-saddest trip where I met the most skinny dogs and poor people right in front of luxurious houses. The most teary nights ever!
My smoothest, most expensive was 20-day solo travel in Europe: expensive flights, flights between countries, 1st class trains between cities and countries, taxi rides, good hotels, accessible public facilities, drinkable water free of charge!, good choices of food…. very little warm smile though. My favourite cities are still Amsterdam with so many Indonesians that warmed my soul and Madrid with so many handsome men that freshened my eyes! 😂
Do I still want to travel alone? YES! but not 99% anymore, maybe will be 75%. I have a small group of semi-backpacker ladies who will be best neighbours when I retire. So they might be my travel buddies when I want to share some itinerary with.
I miss traveling!!!
Next destination? I don’t know…. The virus has evolved from physical barrier to physio-socio-psycho-political block for me to move around! God bless you, dear Corona.
Happy Sunday home! Salaam. 💝
Aging, Beloved,
Counting blessings everyday—
Feeling challenging?
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Sometimes a challenge or deadline is needed like fertiliser sprinkled on to the soil to trigger more chemical, biological, physical reactions from the root dancing in the ground to go deeper and healthier so that the tree grows even stronger and taller.
頑張りましょう！
A dream, Beloved,
Is roots absorbing nutrient
In any seasons.
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Teak wood tree will shake all her leaves to fall off in dry season and look like standing death log in order to save her energy in managing her metabolism. It happens until the first rain pours down again. Young leaves will come out. The forest will come alive again. Annually!
That’s what I learn from my childhood living in a district where teak wood forest was rich and well protected.
If I were a tree, I would dance and sing in its root in the spring, summer and autumn before dozing off in the winter.
That’s what I learn about having dreams in life.
Thank you! for everything
🥰
New year, Beloved,
Leaf falling celebrated
By the wind then gone;
Only memories will stay
In the soul of those alive.
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You can start the year on any day and call it a new year. You can use lunar or solar or any other possible cycle in the galaxy or even beyond the galaxy as you wish.
The only thing you need is making sure your start is well used.
I thank everyday for the second chance, the new day everyday, the new year everyday.
Happy Chinese New Year!
I’m in, Beloved,
Heart and soul. Give me some time,
I might be behind.
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Life journey is a bus full of passengers. They are free to choose how to enjoy the ride except to disturb the driver. Some read books. Some sleep. Some look out day dreaming. Some enjoy the running-backwards scenery. Some talk to other passengers. Some try to seduce sexy passengers. Some take chances to steal sleeping people’s valuable belongings. Some complain why it takes so long to reach the destination. Some just look around confused or amazed or stupid or blank. Some do. Some do other things. Some don’t. Many, many and many things are happening in one packed stuffy place, misunderstood as the only whole life.
Which are you, Beloved?
Ah! A decision was made! I’m not in that bus. I got off earlier and am now riding my scooter! I might be left behind but I made a change inside of me! 🤠
Salaam….
Balance, Beloved
Not about same measurement—
It’s the harmony.
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Let’s be fair, dear Self. Are you 1 kg of feathers or 1 kg of gold?
Let’s be honest. Do you prefer 2-week laundry to wash or 2-week laundry to iron?
Challenging choices to be aligned with immediate happiness
🤹🏼♀️
Bl—dy he—❣️
Laughter, Beloved, A curtain shading shadow Hiding a hermit. Pulled up, it unhides a smile Coming out from a long sleep.
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Once in while, she chooses to slip in to a hermitage among the daily noise without moving away from the crowd.
The taste, Beloved,
Touches life in every point.
No excuse for her—
————————————————————
Sometimes life is about experiencing spiciness level, low to high level. Sweet is hiding for a while, it will come another day.
That’s some of my conversation with my Sensei in today’s Japanese class.
Hell yeah! ⚡️
In love, Beloved,
With life witnessed by flowers
That bloom in my heart.
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I love but also don’t love myself.
Blooming, Beloved
Not the most important phase.
Root is foundation
Where seed is a buried secret
With dancing roots, and the crop—
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Mind the strong foundation resiliently planting you to where you stand and contribution generously assisting yourself and those around.
Weakness, Beloved
A bamboo bent by the wind,
No crack found. Intact—
——————————————————-
They call it weak, bamboo just sways beautifully. They call it havoc, bamboo just jerks along the storm rigorously.
Bamboo stays strong with its hollow and light life.
Salaam. 💞
Is there sacrifice?
Earth lovingly hugs our waste,
Giving all her love.
Committed, sacrifice not—
Yet Mars looks better? Damn you!
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I salute those who are ready to migrate to Mars yet curse them for destroying dear Mother Earth through mining and exploiting her to build spacecraft to join the god of war.
Allegedly-visionary people dream of living forever while destroying where they live. Allegedly-ordinary people take care of where they live and be considered underdeveloped.
To Mother Earth, so much love to and for you. Please forgive your children.
🌏💞
Know not, Beloved
This path about to end when
And where. I trust you.
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Trust is what she’s been holding tight because without it she’s lost the grip against so much magnetic force around that will pull her into a gaping hole, where greediness can consume anyone till no end.
Thanks, Beloved, for giving me a life that’s imperfect but perfectly humbling me in many ways.
I trust You; voluntarily or forcefully.
💞
Her life, Beloved,
Perfectly-directed film
Ready for Oscars—
————————————————
She sometimes forgets that life is a performed script in which she is casted to act out a given role the best she can. She should follow the director’s direction and directive.
What about spectators? She should ignore spectators. Spectators are stars whose job is to see and comment on the film. And they pay for what they see and comment. The payment goes to the stars!
So, dear Star. Fix your moves. Better your expression. Tag your ears with the melody. Live in harmony, with your own self like Javanese Bedhaya performers who are meditatively drowned in the sacred composition.
Oscars are waiting.…
…. Only if you play all out!
Heart and soul dancing through body 💞
Alhamdulillah 🌻
A wreath, Beloved,
A circle packed with beauty,
Arranged true colours—
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Dear Self,
When you’re bored, splash some paints! When you’re angry, splash some paints! When you feel happy, splash some paints! When you feel funny, splash some paints! When you get offended, splash some paints!
As honest as you to you when you’re alone, your colours speak the truth.
Yours truly,
Your own self 💞
Wasted it’s never
If blooming or not. Pretty
In its full cycle.
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Blessed again with 5 beautiful flower stems, accompanied by other beautiful growing not blooming orchids.
Beauty is not only in the flower. It is in the root, leaves, keiki, pot and their presence everyday.
Salaam.
🐣
Love’s yellow on green,
Sprinkling ripeness on freshness.
Pack your smile for me.
—————————————————————
💚💛💚
River, Beloved,
Flows. Let things go with the flow
From, in, through, to you.
—————————————————————
Feel the flow: calm, swift, pushing, breaking, splashing, swirling, stuck, moving. No matter what, flow.
Seed deeply buried,
Grown finding the sun slowly—
It is about time.
——————————————————
Good life was once tiny little secret longing for forgiveness and blessings.
I accept my history, present and future.
May all beings be happy. 💝
A home, Beloved
Not an outlook— it’s the soul
That hugs when inside.
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I bought my first property at 34, a bit late from the original plan simply because I was broke. It was a small house in Greater Jakarta, that is now called “Rumah Bob” (literally Bob’s home) named after my cat Bob.
It is one tiny house in a small cluster, uniformly designed with minimum freedom to show “me” — the owner can only have it painted different colours, install different window sills, plant different flowers and design different garden, add different carport, or maybe buy different cars.
That has motivated me to have a home that reflects “the me that I want to present”. None of the houses offered to me by brokers or friends hit my core although some were into my taste— of course some were simply too pricy. 😩 I rejected all offers.
Apology – Some people (who helped search property for me) thought I was too much because for some of them a house is simply a place to live in comfort, while I’ve always dreamt to live in a home where I can express the true me and help my guests understand their true selves by visiting the home. A few of them sarcastically said I shouldn’t have searched through them if I didn’t have enough money — ohhhhhh some bloody stings!!! 😂 Yet I did apologise to them for being so difficult.
I decided to buy a small plot of land in a greenery in Yogyakarta (my father’s home town) and build a home from scratch.
Architect – It’s very important to choose the right architect. Not necessarily the most prominent as to me integrity and friendship is the most important thing – luckily my best friend recommended her student to work on my dream. Working with an architect who was artist had blessed me. She understood what was wanted by her clients but she never got satisfied even when the clients said the final draft was excellent. She would get back to me saying “Mbak, I think I find which part should be optimised. I’ll get back to you with a new draft.” Thanks to Mbak Novi.
The Core – My home will never impress random onlookers from the outlook or those who think a good house is a luxurious building; they will simply think it’s a humble abode clean and fresh. It will only impress its guests, family and friends who truly relate with me as human beings with different kinds of engagements or those who know how to appreciate humanity and ordinary.
I wish to be granted health and prosperity to live long enough to enjoy being a sincere host in my true home to those who love life.
A dream come true! Alhamdulillah.
May all beings be happy. 💝
Be smile, Beloved,
A curve where warmth is contained.
Emoticon not—
————————————————————
Smiling is an activity which will be a habit and the skin of the owner if well trained. And so it can disappear when not practiced anymore.
Smile and smile and smile then she’ll be the smile itself. Smiling is watermelon juice! Sweet and fresh!
Happy weekend! Skip laundry! Don’t care about the mountain of ready-to-wash. Just smile!
Salaam….
After the moon? No.
The sun is where this heart walks
With rain that visits.
—————————————————————
Chasing what’s not clear and uncertain was an exciting thing for the hot-blooded. Dark, shadowy picture of what she once imagined has started fading away. The moon’s shift is over.
Walking in this forest, the leaves has rekindled her faith that rain is paying a short visit. When the rain stops, she will again realise that her heart is always enveloped in the warmth of clarity.
Sunbeam always opens a new chapter in which sunshine will take over what’s mysterious and frightening. Light will help her eyes see things the way they are, no assumption, no prejudice. It is what it is.
When she reaches the edge of the forest, she will step on a meadow where the moon is again sending shadow but this time there is no mystery anymore.
All is clear. All is well. What it takes is just counting the milestones and blessing all that are sensed.
May all beings be happy.
A she, Beloved,
Is far and near, clear and blur,
But not true or false.
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Some people describe something so beautifully that others feel found and blessed. Those people are called the wise.
Weekend is rich with memes and kitchen; a bit chaotic with laundry and rain. Like a she she is! 🤩
All memes: from Pinterest
Walk life on colours.
Down’s green. Up’s blue. Inside’s clear.
Here’s some red for fun.
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It depends on what she mixes on the pallets. Any hues will appear as she wishes.
She keeps working on a canvas because it is hers. Her parts of body work in harmony to draw a picture of her complete cycle of life.
She’s covered at least half of her journey so she won’t turn back. Besides, the sign doesn’t allow her to.
Weekend, weekend. 🍃
rike jokanan 
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