graphs of my Universe
Comfort zone's, dear self
A clear bubble waits to burst.
Life is just like that.
need warm soup for weekend comfort: veggies n sukiyaki beef in dashi stock, tempe + torch ginger — imperfect combination but i love both 😍
need a second helping of soup and fruit before back curling up in bed reading then hopefully falling to sleep
Pondering where this tiny love story means,
Counting breathing through hope in highs and lows.
In I breath fragrance of rose, out jasmine.
How beautiful! No one but a key knows.
The breeze sometimes softly shakes the heartbeat.
The river flows tampering a quiet mind.
The fire ignites a heart that longs to meet.
Under the drizzle the sun warmly shines.
Beloved, is it you she's waiting for?
Is it her you're letting in your grand throne?
The cloud hanging disguises sweet flavor,
Or the flavor is love and love alone?
Love is beautiful with cloudy sweet dream.
If time allows, rain stops, be shown sunbeam.
there’s a girl within falling in love, a woman without daydreaming of love
be real, woman! the girl is as true as your love itself
never doubt your heart; trust your life
Wrap me, Beloved
With a blanket that calms down
And colours my heart.
today was a painful day, my emotion was so drained and i need a long battery charge before starting a new week — a thick blanket would be good
some days pull me too deep then suddenly kick me high abruptly or the other way round; i am now back to my grip ‘coz life is just like that
alhamdulillah
💕
Seems that the “Kiai Semar” piggy bank in my instastory has drawn hidden attention. My friend sent me a picture of ancient piggy bank saying “Are you still saving in celengan, don’t you have a bank account? Why so traditional?”
Arrgh! Should I tell people I save in the bank? It is something common to save in the bank because I need debit card to do all my financial thingy every now and then. How can I shop without debit card? And they think my debit card will just get impregnated with money without me feeding it? I am saving in the bank, my dear.
When said by a close friend in a normal situation, it feels ok. When said by a distant friend who has a rather unpleasant history, it feels rather ouch!
Anyway celengan (Javanese) is apiggy bank, a traditional container to save money.
What does celengan literally mean? Celengan is a Javanese word formed by celeng and -an. Celeng means boar or wild boar, –an is a suffix to form a word to be a Noun. Celeng itself is a Noun, celengan is a Noun to change the word celeng into another Noun with slightly different meaning. While celeng is wild boar, celengan means toy wild boar or a container in a wild boar form.
Why wild boar or celeng? As we know boar or wild boar is a family of pig. Maybe because pig is a symbol of luck, prosperity, wealth so people hope that by saving in a container formed like a wild boar they can be lucky and wealthy. I don’t think it is an original Javanese culture as Javanese didn’t originally raise it in the neighborhood. They got wild boar by hunting — remember the word “wild”. This might come from a culture where pig was domesticated and so became close to human beings’ daily activities.
By the time piggy bank is not in a form of pig or wild boar anymore. It can be in a form of chicken, frog, jar, etc including the Kiai Semar (a wayang character) that I bought in Kasongan, Yogyakarta. And the material can be from plastic, wood; while the original is terracotta.
Why am I ranting so long?
Sometimes liking it or not, I feel one word from one person can ruin my day in silence. It doesn’t matter, life is just like that. Why making that person so important that I get hurt by just random words from one? Forget it.
Thanks, celengan for making me even more relaxed after digging in the Japanese cuisine.
Weekend is here.
Please bless me with good time. Amen.
Have a good weekend!
ancient terracotta piggy bank for me
i wish to have a big one filled with gold — and some people will say “are you a gold digger?”
damn! if i am a gold digger, i won’t be here, i will have been in Japan married to the only son of a president of a company 😎
Relax, Beloved,
There's a place for victory
Other than fighting.
finding that Sunday evening i will be away, i changed my Japanese food craving to today, tomorrow will be my packing day for next two trips, reading and chasing wind
Friday’s message: just relaxxx and eat crabbb!
Eden, Beloved
Exists next to the kitchen
Where she has some fun.
A tropical garden is a kind of lush garden I want to see when washing the dishes. I am looking forward to it with the help from our tropical gardener– we can find them easily in Indonesia.
But it will be done after the Japanese garden. Right now the spot is still packed with construction material and debris. There shall be deep cleaning to ensure no left over of material in the soil and fertile soil to be added.
While the Japanese garden is restricted to inner circle, this tropical garden is where all guests can take some fresh air as long as they don’t make any harm to anyone around.
Please be patient, dear self. One at a time–
💕
had to cut out the coloured part as there is some spoiled part around it
yosh! now time to complete my laundry 😍
the sketch that kept delayed
Private's, Beloved
This ordinary one's life.
Not much to expose--
I lock my Instagram account always and it forever will be locked, only those having directly met with me can become my contacts. Does it sound arrogant? No, it is a protection — to protect myself from unfair judgement from those contacts knowing me from my words or my pictures in my curated frames; and to protect my contacts from misjudging me simply based on my curated frames– they will be able to judge me more fairly by talking to me or meeting with me first before becoming my contacts in Instagram.
My contacts are those family members and friends; not even colleagues as we believe our professional judgement might be clouded with some personal bias that is not even related to work.
I am so so sorry for being so picky (a bit irritating I know I am) but I am still willing to reply anyone’s messages.
💕
What about WordPress?
It is where I am ranting and there are only 20-40 people visiting me daily and my postings are all extracted ideas in poetry that by nature can be interpreted by anyone. So anyone is welcome to visit my WordPress even without leaving a trace.
💕
Release, Beloved
What's wished. Let it fly to find
Its way to go home.
this fragile dandelion is my favourite plant, it reminds me to release wishes to their way home, where they materialise their best potentials
💕
(picture from Pinterest)
Today I am browsing around with my Blue and feeling good!
Back on track. Let’s do it all day!
Thank you for all the active senses❣️
….many more to share in silence
Banksy,
It throws me flowers
At a silent weekend.
I'm dead.
Have a nice weekend, everyone!
Banksy’s work of art
Laughter's, Beloved
You radiate cheerfulness,
We all count blessings.
when you laugh, the dried grass comes alive
This battle's, dear heart
Will win you with condition:
You have the courage.
Whatsapp gave me a surprise that my batik Gringsing Bharatayudha is ready to ship; by plan it should be by November this year.
This time I don’t want it to be shipped, I’d like to collect it by myself so I can say thank you directly to the makers.
Gringsing is my favourite aside from batik nitik, kawung and parang. Gringsing reminds me how I was taken care of when I was a girl and sick — my mother would wrap me in a sheet of batik gringsing, my father would chant his mantra (I can remember what it was and will disclose it at the right time some day.) and my siblings would sleep with me in my bedroom until I was recuperated. Gringsing bears a sweet memory about my family in early period.
Bharatayudha is something familiar in our family. Our parents wanted us to be “true Javanese” who knew “the root” as a middle way because our parents held different religions; so Javanese tradition would not make them play tug of war of who would follow whom and it would not harm any of us to learn local wisdom. They bought R. A. Kosasih’s wayang comic books and other funny wayang stories of Punakawan (please allow me talk about it later). Another series that also built some of us was series of S. H. Mintarja’s “Api Di Bukit Menoreh”. We enjoyed it and shared it to other friends — we lost some books as some friends did not responsibly return the books after reading.
Long story short I grew up with Javanese and wayang wisdom before finally I decided to hold one religion as a legal requirement in our country — Indonesian must display their religion in the ID card. 🙃 I am thankful to be raised by parents of different faiths — they have taught us to respect others regardless….
Last year Ibu Tien showed me a white sheet with Gringsing Bharatayudha pattern then several months later the half done. I could not resist its charm.
There are two scenes in the batik Gringsing Bharatayudha:
1. Bhatara Kresna the King of Dwaraka on the chariot: He is the coachman of Arjuna who is fighting against Adhipati Karna whose coachman is Prabu Salya the King of Madra. Arjuna and Karna are actually brothers from one mother (Dewi Kunthi) of different fathers whose each upbringing has brought them to different partiality. Arjuna for sure is in the side of Pandhawa, Karna decides to side with Kurawa who has provided life care and social status.
Bhatara Kresna, the King of Dwaraka (the most intelligent character in wayang, the master mind of all wars in his time) used to be my idol when I was a kid before I changed my mind to idolize Semar Badranaya (one humble deity who is assigned to accompany and guide Pandhawa)
2. Bima and Dursasana: Bima is the 2nd of 5 knights of Pandhawa the antagonist of wayang world; Dursasana is the 2nd of 100 Kurawa children the protagonist. In this scene Bima is executing Dursasana to death. This symbolises ending a preserved anger through revenge. Years back Bima swears to kill Dursasana and lets his sister in law Drupadi wash her hair using Dursasana blood — by then Dursasana sexually harasses Drupadi in public when Drupadi’s husband (Yudhistira) loses on a gamble table.
Not a few consider that the Bharatayudha (the civil war between Pandhawa and Kurawa) is not really a politically-triggered war; it is allegedly the result of the wounded pride of Pandhawa and the allies after Kurawa (Dursasana as the main perpetrator under the instruction of Duryudana the King and other Kurawa brothers’ cheering support) harasses Drupadi in the gamble court.
See. Woman can be the cause of war if not treated well— treated well can mean educated well, respected, nurtured, protected, etc. Drupadi is so broken hearted due to the fact that the Pandhawa knights donot do anything to stop the shameful act of harassment and she shouts pledging to wash her hair with Dursasana’s blood — that is when Pandhawa knights get so embarassed and promises to make Kurawa pays some day.
How could a group of knights be so retardedly ignorant? From one side it is integrity, following what’s agreed (the agreement is if Yudhistira loses in the last round of gamble, he has to give up Drupadi), in the other it is cowardice.
Sometimes being good is not an option when there is underpriviledge being abused or harassed. But it is predestined: there shall be evil to bring out good and good to bring out evil — cycle of life.
Fun fact about Bharatayudha: many don’t know that after death Pandhawa representing good side are still sent to hell for punishment, Kurawa considered representing evil are given chance to stay in heaven for some time. Indeed it is not our chosen side that brings us to heaven; it is our good deed does.
What a wisdom on one sheet of batik!
looks like a violence yet it is simply a depiction of a scene in Bharatayudha so please excuse the “looking like” violence
By the way honestly I prefer circle gringsing than square ones. Yet I know Ibu Tien’s team consists of those simbah-simbah and budhe-budhe (senior citizens) whose physical strength is not anymore at prime time so making square gringsing is easier than circle one. I will usually lend them my generous excuse: some of my batik sheets are not evenly dipped and even some are not fully drawn yet I still paid them full price. However, on some batik patterns like kawung and parang I will not let Mbak Izzah miss her grip in managing the work.
Weekend cannot be sweeter with this surprise.
I miss Jogja…. 💕
💃🏽
Dip me in
Your colours
In which
Arrogance turns to
Modesty,
Selfishness turns to
Compassion,
Torrential current to
A calm flow.
Dip me in
Your colours
In which
Paintings sing
Love songs,
Music displays
Flowing curves,
Sculptures splash
Romantic hues.
Dip me in
Your colours
In which
I keep living love
With true intension
However little it is.
Never let
Your colours
Fade away from me.
Good morning, morning.
Would you please lend her fresh air
To forgive the world?
please make forgiveness air that i breathe
today i learnt that i am not that forgiving
Dear, Beloved.
Thank
You
For reminding me
About being humble.
I won't
I won't
I won't
Let this self
Boast of one's self.
Please always tone me down
When I am too high.
Yours truly,
One of
Your breathed
Soul....
the first page that i continue reading from “Fihi Ma Fihi” directly slaps my ego to tone down
thank you for not giving me long time to feed my selfishness
thank you for reminding me that i still have fear to shadow my hope and ears to listen to what universe whispers
please protect those that i love the most from the imbalance between fear and hope
thank you, always
A noise in my head
Is a noise in my stomach
And in the kitchen.
weekend is a noisy kitchen
Nicely blur, dear heart
It takes glasses to see you.
Still you're nicely blur.
What will the curtain disclose?
I wish you a full figure.
let’s call it a week, welcome home
4-day intelligence exchange on a round table just makes me want to enjoy my weekend cooking, video calling with family and friends then reading my owed books
so blur even when these eyes see things clearly — sometimes it’s nice to be blur ☺️
Start each morning, Love
With ready ears to listen,
Heart blessed with shared joy--
DVET Siaran Pagi in TikTok
one sample of rebroadcast that i randomly watched 🌶️
I feel like talking about my excitement that makes my morning brighter. There is a morning show (in Indonesian only) in TikTok labeled DVET Siaran Pagi.
There are two announcers in the morning show. And they have made my days with the show although I mostly watch its rebroadcast through YouTube in the evening; I can listen to them live when commuting or when working from remote and no meeting starts early.
I started listening to this show in early July through YouTube as a random algorithm result (justpopped up like that) while the show has been there since 2023, so I kind of not know what topics have been covered before. Yet it doesn’t matter, I don’t need to flash back to enjoy their hilarious friendly talk.
What topics so attract me?
Any random topic in life. It is just like when radio show was happening (when I was young — gosh!) the announcers talked about anything s/he liked or experienced or breaking news in town/country (sometimes alone, sometimes more than one announcer at the same time) and played some song playlist that was planned or sometimes requested by the listeners.
These two announcers in the DVET Siaran Pagi act like they are video calling and talking about their day like two friends — you can hear laughter, slangs, swearing. Simply like we are eavesdropping on two friends. 😝
Anyway I think they are truly friends in life.
Who are they?
One streamer is Dave Hendrik, a previously radio announcer is now a prominent MC in Indonesia — his name has been one of very few celebs that I adored because of his originality and confidence.
When sexual orientation or identity was still a rare topic to touch, he was already himself — even as a straight I respect his openness as he is not the one forcing others to follow his choice.
I also love how he treats his niece and nephew (at least that’s what I see in his Instagram) actually he’s inspired me to do the same thing to mine — thank you, Dave.
The way Dave expresses himself is sometimes “random” that I have no choice but laughing or exclaiming “what?!” or “huhhh?!” While talking smart he can suddenly produce wrong pronunciation, wrong naming, slip of the tongues and the like. Hilarious!
Wishing Dave a good life for making my days. If I meet him in Jakarta someday, I will give him a bar of Toblerone. ☺️
The other announcer is Iwet Ramadhan. He was also a radio announcer back then; he is now a business leader.
Among his works that I know his batik documentaries in YouTube should have been one biggest contribution to Indonesia culture & that he has a batik-based business to support “mothers working at home” in Jakarta has made him a decent man to respect. I hope he continues the culture-based activities and gets bigger success. 😍
I so much like him 💕 for his intelligence, laughter and a vibe that I can’t explain (maybe maturity and confidence?) — and so he becomes special to me. Not surprising: a male celeb must have many female eyes on him.
There is one song he mentioned (Daur Hidup by Donne Maula) and now it becomes my cooking or gardening soundtrack. Thank you!
Wishing him a good life, too and….
…. If meeting him in person in Singapore someday, I will treat him ice cream as much as he likes in Orchard Road 😂💕
note #1: both of them once were hosts of gossip shows that I didn’t enjoy 🙃 They’ve changed the way they discuss things – quite objective and balanced at least in the show 😁 Salute to you, both!
note #2: I created TikTok account only to watch this show
note #3: in this era human beings do not have to meet in person to support each other; just do something online and here you go!
Garden's, Beloved
Where seasons play with the sun,
Weathers with the shade.
Japanese garden layout in Winsor & Newton water colour
i’ve always wanted a Japanese garden in one spot of my yard
i contacted one Japan contractor but they offerred USD8,000 just for the design for 11*2 size
i politely refused the offer and decided to work on the design by myself and transferred the USD8,000 to my own bank account 😁
now it is ready to execute; i’ll be working with a garden contractor to complete this task; i’ve also found moss and grain loval sources – see you in 3 months, dear Jogja
layout of behind study, near maintenance entrance — yellow bamboo bush will sing when the wind blows
layout of in front of bedroom — no grass, just moss, grain, a few boulders and shrub of hosta; the engawa is a perfect seat to contemplate either at dusk or dawn
after some time of hibernating
Welcome, Beloved
To a home in a quiet house
Where heart sings sweetly.
i trained myself rigorously today: no distraction 🤩
and then….
kitchen is always a good welcome home — let me boast my best oxtail soup aka sop buntut sapi and almost frozen pomegranate aka delima & osmanthus pudding 💕
It is harvest time
After years of nurturing.
Fruits are gathered now.
today’s gathering with uni circle was a sweet bunch of chat
thank you and….
….see you again, sweet pears!
flying home soon 💕
Sharp eyes take a rest
Just for a click before sleep.
Resting from details--
doing VIP again which is so close with the stage in which spectators see what the tribune folks are curious about; almost like how my job is done: meticulous, detailed, focus-based, forcing, defining violation, root cause analysis, corrective action, management system, emotionless and in some way cruel — loved by my employer, hated by those not committed 🤠
ignoring details is almost like catching eel with hand covered with coconut oil
finding chaos among harmony is almost a curse to me; now i am pulling back my expertise to find harmony among chaos — outside my job
on the way. yosh!
to my colleagues reading this in silence you know how i love this job 🤠 頑張ってね❣️
this is the closest i can be with my favourite singer whose songs were memorised by me and childhood friends like we memorised our own landline number by then
すごい❣️
Noe Clerc Trio from France — the accordion made it so much unique
other than Ring of Fire this duo is another permanent “performer”, the ones who warm the stage not less than the artists — they’re artists, too with their typical Jogjakartan jokes
see you again, syuuu!
Kuntari – amazingly incredible! i could not resist their beats that resemble Sumatran music; one nephew could not stop rocking our bench following the tempo
my God, this is my fave among those i took by myself — the hues and the moon are like magic
two of 4 founders (Pak Sigit, Mas Butet), advisors (Pak Andy, Mas Iko), the duo
🤍
I didn’t take picture of Gigi Jazz Project performing, pre-occupied with the vibe to sing along and laugh at myself due to the lyrics! 😂😍💕
a different Gigi i’ve ever experienced
this was type of source of heat for all of us — thank you, dear fire
if time allows, i’ll see you again next year, dear Bromo nature — you are amazing
Sometimes her tongue is too sharp
But don't blame her tongue,
It's her eyes too sharp
But don't blame her eyes,
It's her brain too critical
But don't blame her brain,
It's her rationale too weak
But don't blame her rationale,
It's her research insufficient
But don't blame her research,
It's her data too narrow
But don't blame her data,
It's her survey not detailed
But don't blame her survey,
It's her objective not well conveyed
But....
She writes love poems.
Yet they get angry, not knowing that
She just expresses naked truth.
She hopes that she is not exposed
As her poems are limited edition.
RC Gorman’s work of art
Lend me ears, my love
To listen to the silence
That whispers your songs.
RC Gorman’s
earrings are to me not only accessories, they are an agreement that i am ready to hear some news 💕 earrings i wear amplify important messages to me
There's so much here
Wanting to burst
Colours and fragrances
That have been hiding
In a deep cave
For ages.
It is gemstones,
The petrified blood, tears and sweats
Traveling with time and space:
Flowing river
To the turquoise sea
Uniting with
You.
RC Gorman’s work of art
i kno it’s U
Who's a knight who shoots?
Archer who knows the bull's eye
And bow and arrow--
Satria manah (satrio manah) is a Javanese phrase formed by two words:
1. Satria or satrio that means a knight,
2. Manah that is derived from the word panah (archery in Javanese). Panah (Noun) is changed to manah (Verb)
As name of batik pattern should be incorporated with wisdom, the interpretation can be built with some exaggeration or maybe slightly drammatical structure. And so, satria manah is not simply a knight who shoots anything but it is intrepreted as a knight who shoots accurately at the heart of a lady.
Life of a wise can be as light as shooting a heart; yet as hard as shooting at the right spot so that it won’t hurt the heart; it even will make the lady fall in love harder with the knight.
Is that even possible?
I don’t know. Not a knight, am not a wise knight. A lady, am the lady whose heart should be shot by a wise knight. 😁
Another fun fact this batik is usually worn by the groom-to-be’s parents when they are officially proposing the bride-to-be in front of her family. The groom-to-be may also wear this batik when he is with his parents during the marriage proposal. Unofficially? the man can propose the woman personally before introducing to each other’s family.
What batik should be worn by the bride-to-be in the marriage proposal? It is batik semen rante. What is that? I will talk about it next year when the semen rante is ready to ship to me by Mbak Izzah. ☺️
This batik has given me a light heart and a good laugh after a long day.
Have a good weekend!
the batik that is ready for delivery
close up of batik Satria Manah
Don't overestimate me, Beloved.
My victory won't be like yours.
You win a business tender.
You build a business empire.
You rob the hearts of the best men.
You steal all eyes with your body.
No, I don't.
I win a big basket of laundry
And make them stacks of folded clothes
Wrapping me in daily commute to office or
To fields where I squeeze my wisdom out of best standards or
Just at home wander around digging what I can boil.
I love today's victory.
I live a best life.
best victory of my weekend, today!!!
There's no dilemma.
There's only heart
Rocking in a sea of abundance
Misunderstood as distraction.
Sit still, Beloved
When world is noisy and busy
With laughters and cries.
i thank god that my dilemma is only between whether to read some books or to iron my clothes — not so complicated and i it only happens at the weekend; the rest is just to work and to enjoy after work 😘
it is what it is as weekend is a list of household chores in silence
enjoy your weekend!
Morning brings me heart
Newly dipped in coloured hopes
To welcome new days.
maroon heliconia
yellow heliconia
the sun showing his radiance
rike jokanan 
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