A wise teacher said:
If you have a space for shelter,
A plate of rice for meal,
A job for a living;
That’s when you’re blessed.
I couldn’t say a word
To deny.
It’s true
And
Only true.
—-
Enjoy!






graphs of my Universe
A wise teacher said:
If you have a space for shelter,
A plate of rice for meal,
A job for a living;
That’s when you’re blessed.
I couldn’t say a word
To deny.
It’s true
And
Only true.
—-
Enjoy!






I learn
Life is about counting gates of moments.
It’s not what I celebrate,
It’s how I celebrate.
They call it this,
I call it that,
It’s a day dyed with red, blue, yellow
Yet
Really the day won’t describe its own color when asked.
One more day to celebrate!
—-
It’s not unusual Ramadhan is closed on different days by different groups of Muslim esp. in big country like Indonesia. One group may close Ramadhan on 29th day, the other on 30th. It’s not a big deal (although some noisy people like to debate about it) but it’s not simple things to explain. Overall the difference is due to 2 different methods of seeing the crescent moon visibility in the horizon – one group is using mathematical astronomy (computation), the other physical observation (telescope).
This year most of my family in Indonesia celebrated the Eid yesterday, I in Singapore today.
Without further ado….

Celebrate moments that are given in life including this festivity. Every moment is a gate to another moment before entering the next gate of moment. After entering Ramadhan gate, now Syawal gate, what’s next? Any should be simply a gate to start or to restart or to continue.

Gate after gate before finally the grandest gate ⛩

once more…
Selamat Hari Raya Idul Fitri 1443H
Home is where heart feels safe and calm. And going home is always something to cherish. One of terminology for going home in Indonesia —only in Indonesia— is mudik. Some consider mudik as a derivational Indonesian and Malay word from the words “me+udik= mengudik = mudik” that means going back to home town (udik= home town, rural). However, it is also allegedly an acronym of two Javanese words mulih (going home) and sedhiluk (for a short while). The mudik tradition is done on one celebrated religion festive day called Hari Raya Idul Fitri (the Eid Mubarak after Ramadhan). It is a massive movement happens from medium to big cities to smaller regions/towns/districts/villages where senior family members (grand parents, parents) usually reside.
Mudik is one cultural side product of urbanisation. Urbanisation as a population shift from rural to urban areas due to concentration of modern work styles (non agricultural) has left minimum of not no choice to younger people to go to bigger cities to work in big companies or manufacturing sites. And, as they have left their homes with parents and other groups of elders, they see the need to go home regularly. As much as they want to meet the elders more often to pay homage, their work duties have only allowed them to do it annually.
Why Hari Raya Fitri is the most chosen? It is closely related to the fact that especially in Java island the biggest population is Muslim. But not only Muslim will do mudik, other religion believers also do it as they want to enjoy the festivity with their Muslim family and friends. Everyone loves Hari Raya Idul Fitri. Everyone looks forward to mudik every year.
Aside from that it is the best time for a rendezvous, mudik is also associated with the word Fitri literally meaning “becoming holy again” or “going back to the origin of creation which is sinless”. So mudik isn’t only physical movement to where people were born, it’s also commemoration of going back to holy again (although the holiness isn’t the point as no one alive is truly holy), going back to the origin of creation (to realise that how big their success in career in the cities, they are still human beings created by God, born by a mother and raised by parents in rural area).
Maybe only Indonesians can really relate with this. We’re so blessed. 💓
This year is gonna be one of the biggest after the lock-down thingy due to the beloved COVID-19. Can’t wait to finally meet with my beloved family and friends after 2 years❣️
Selamat Hari Raya Idul Fitri. Maafkan lahir dan bathin. 🐣
Note: Hari Raya Idul Fitri = Lebaran = Riyaya = Ba’dan = Eid Mubarak

Singapore – May 1, 2022 / 22:20
Roses, Beloved
Gift born by Mother Nature.
A beau with sharp thorns—
—-
When you love a flower, let it stay in its tree until it passes away by the warmth of the day prince and the coolness of the night queen. It deserves nothing but appreciation; admiration is too fake for a shirt life of a rose.
Weekend, weekend! Very looong weekend!
🐣

Beauty, Beloved
Bodily fades. Beauty stays
Only as value:
Commitment, integrity.
Forever? Yes, forever.
—-
I won’t exchange anything in me with anything from any other beautiful, rich, sexy women who look happier and more successful because I love the way Mother Nature presents life through this very journey.
Watching physical deterioration is provoking yet amazing. Seeing my own picture from small girl to adult mature, it takes courage to tell myself that who was radiantly strong has grown to this dully weak. At the same time it takes courage to tell myself that who was carelessly egotistical has grown to this wisely humble.
Thanks so much for all the lessons and gifts. I won’t regret. 🐣
May all beings be happy.
Dedicated to: scammers who never stop trying stealing from others in one way or another – if you don’t have money, just stop shopping, don’t use others’ to satisfy your impulsive buying, lazybones!
A gift, Beloved,
From hands with a heart tested
Through time to well shine—
—-
Giving is one of human nature that can fade away if the hands and the heart are let be corroded by calculation and distrust.
It’s a gift to have hands loaded with loving and caring heart or heart equipped with loving and caring hands with very little if not any calculation and distrust. Train yourself, dear self to be generous. Just don’t get trapped by scammers who never stop trying to leak tanks. 🙂
Alfatihah.

A gate, Beloved,
Before a flight through the stairs
Before the next gate—
—-
⛩

Never miss a step
Taken to reach the last point.
Just enjoy. And joy—
——
Enjoy today’s experimental bread. Not the best but truly an enjoyable process. Should have been only one potato
Fasting is always about hunger, thirst and on hold of many things. But it’s worth doing, its breaking is worth waiting.
May all beings be happy.
🐣








Life’s misunderstood
As blurred when eyes are cloudy.
Beauty is constant
Not to the eyes. To the heart
It’s a bunch of what’s biutyful.
——
Observing the observer—
Let them misunderstand whatever about your own self as a secret is a secret that will remain mystery to those sleeping or cloudy eyes. If bright eyes can be tricked with a sheet of A4, what will a block of wall do to those cloudy?
Life is biutyful.
Hari Kartini ki mesthi dadi dina paling dieling-eling marang bocah-bocah wedok jamanku ning Indonesia. Ngapa? Merga saben Hari Kartini bocah-bocah wedok jamanku paling ora pisan pindho nate bayakan (nganggo kebaya), jarikan, gelungan, sing wong tuwane nduwe ragat ya macak ning salon barang. Sing wong tuwane dhompete kandel ya anake ayu moblong-moblong. Sing sederhana ya wis biasa ae, ketok wedhakan, bengesan, jungkasan mening wis lumayan mbois.
Ning maknane Hari Kartini ki kok ora pati mancep lan nilas ning ati lan jiwane bocah-bocah ya? Nek diarani tokoh emansipasi wanita Indonesia, apa iya bocah-bocah sing jarikan macak nganti ayune uleng-ulengan ki paham maksude apa? Kok nganti saiki wong-wong wedok ijik akeh sing didiskriminasi kaya jamane Ibu Kartini.
Apa cukup carane memperingati Hari Kartini ki nyang sekolah utawa kantor nganggo klambi daerah mblenger ditutuli benges, sedow lan celak ben ketok medoki?
Sakjane ya kudune rada jeru ya masiya nek isane ngono ya wis ben ngono sik. Ning muga-muga ae bocah-bocah wedok Indonesia ora mandheg maknani Hari Kartini mung dadi tetenger wiyose Ibu Kartini, tapi luwih meneh maknani laire rasa setara, dudu kompetisi antarane lanang lan wedok, rasa melengkapi antarane lanang karo wedok ana ing urip iki, ora balapan, ora royokan.
Alhamdulillah wis enek Hari Kartini. Paling ora enek sing ngelingne lek wedok ki kudu piye lan isa piye. — wedok ki ora mung sumur, kasur, dapur tapi ya oleh tandur, tutur, ngatur barang. Wis piye?
Sugeng ambal warsa, RA Kartini.
Selamat Hari Kartini, para perempuan Indonesia. You’re well respected whoever, wherever, whenever you are, no matter what. 🙏🏼
Perfect, Beloved
Indication of moments,
Not about others—
——-
I thought there was perfection but then life showed me that the only thing truly modified by the word perfect is time or in some situation called moment. Other than those two creatures are never essentially perfect, they are perfect through some agreed points of view.
When it is over, it is perfectly done – time is up. When it is cut, it is perfectly completed – time is up.
And I accept a “time is up” sincerely or forcefully. A let go. A move on. A celebration. A moment to remember. A memory to save.
Oh life…. A set of perfect moments you are!
Thank you!

Singapore – Apr. 19, 2022 / 21:03
Good life, Beloved
Surrounded by them most loved
In green serene air—
—-
I like to tell some colleagues that I’ll be the host for our reunion dinner in my home 15 years from now. It must be a good time to talk about how we’re doing what we’re doing.
Though not soon, ‘m looking forward to a long life to make it happen.
See you in a green serene garden, fellas! 🥳

Temasek – Apr. 19, 2022 / 19:33
It’s silence
Filling the air,
Expanding time that kills
With infinity and mystery.
This strand has threaded millions of pearls of breathing taken one by one.
This is also a ribbon that goes miles and miles scripted with memories loaded with emotions.
There is one last pearl and there is a period. Only time knows at which point—
Only flowers can fill the gap while waiting.
They are food and garnish at the same time,
Bride and groom,
Prayer and curse,
Bright and pale,
Symbolised and clarity,
Birth and death,
Duality in one bouquet.
This lounge feels alive
With the flower arrangement sitting at the corner,
Silently
Accompanying everyone
Waiting to depart.
————
Life is forever, crossing one bridge to another. Alfatihah.

Temasek – Apr. 18, 2022 / 20:14
It’s dark, Beloved,
I’m afraid. Where should I go?
Walk through the shushed wind.
————
One wise teacher said,”Your path might be dark and you can’t see anything but don’t worry, my child as the hearing works without the light.
Listen. Listen carefully”.

Singapore – Apr. 13, 2022 / 21:22
Up and down the hills
The feet walk, the heart stands still.
Journey of the nights—
———————————————————
Nights and days are the consequences of sun and moon fixed courses. Or is it the other way around: sun and moon fixed courses are existing due to the need of nights and days in this particular planet.
Many say day is for activities, night is for resting. I don’t deny but I have my own interpretation of activities and resting. Activity is when all my concentration is for transactional economy, resting is when my concentration is for relaxation and personal. Rest day? Of course all my rest days will become nights. 💞
Thanks for giving me days and nights.
May all beings be happy❣️

Regret and sorry
Not easy to feel and say,
Yet flushing the guilt.
Look! It’s rain water pouring
On the roof, sweeps away dirt.
—————————————————
Ramadhan is starting tomorrow, it’s my 38th year in which I do full fasting. I’m so grateful with this achievement. Achievement? Yes! Imagine for one full month during the day we don’t drink, we don’t eat, we don’t smoke, we don’t sex, we don’t let out uncontrolled emotion, we simply hold whatever we normally let out easily with no delay. We are human beings though, we can do all those at night. Ahem!
As a Javanese Muslim welcoming Ramadhan is as special as the fasting itself. We welcome the Ramadhan with a small celebration called megengan which literally means holding (esp. the breath).
In megengan a Javanese family will deliver a basket of rice with dishes to neighbours and extended family members living separately. While each family can choose what they share, there is one must specialty in this occasional delivery so called “apem” in Javanese or “kue apam” in Bahasa Indonesia or Malay.
Apem is steamed cake whose ingredients are rice flour, coconut milk, coconut water, yeast, sago starch and some sugar.
The word apem is derived from the word “afwun” (an Arabic word) meaning apology. Why apology? In Ramadhan when a Muslim is fasting, s/he is not only holding her/himself from hunger, thirst, lust, uncontrolled anger, and exercising her/his integrity; but s/he is also recommended to contemplate her/his own “action records” for the past one year. It is not easy for one to bear the guilt during the contemplation, so it is recommended for a Muslim before Ramadhan to apologise to their family and friends or to whomever s/he did wrongdoing, to ease the contemplation process. As it might not be easy to say sorry through a naked word, Javanese Muslim will include a symbolic apology in the food called apem when they deliver the whole food package. Everyone knows what it is, what it does— it is up to each person whether or not to accept the apology. And there they go starting the fasting month with a light heart to physically, mentally and spiritually exercise her/himself for one full month.
I used to think that that celebration was a waste of food. For one week I used to see sooooo many plastic and bamboo baskets piled up in our dining table and shelves — all those megengan packages which would be eaten just a bit and end up given to our chickens at the back yard. Fyi, the apem is never wasted though as every family has different taste and ways of how to make their best apem – maybe it’s a symbol that everyone is taking the apology seriously. I used to say to my mom that megengan was more about chickens celebrating than human beings celebrating. However after I understand what is symbolised through those simple deliveries, I highly appreciate the way we Javanese hold the integrity through our humble tradition.
I used to tell my mother to not do it, but now I’ve always been a reminder to her to not forget doing it and done it myself although I’m living around those not familiar with this tradition. I normally cook some simple food for the cleaning ladies and the gardeners who are assigned in the block two days before Ramadhan. Unfortunately minus the apem, simply because I am not confident enough to make my own apem. Tried this year though and failed 🙃
I promise to myself that this year is gonna be a good Ramadhan.
Welcome, month of holding, month of exercising integrity. It might not be always easy but doable.
I’m sending out apology to all the people having felt hurt by me. I’m sorry with my heart and soul in naked words. 🙏🏼
May all beings be happy.

It sets, Beloved,
When birds swoop in to the nests
And you go to bed.
—————————————————————
Sunset doesn’t suddenly come. It sets as a process slowly through time. Just like this life: before birth… then birth, infant, child, teenager, adult, old, end of life — aging before the great divide coming
Some wise men said to me “death should be thought of as an ordinary thing, it shouldn’t be afraid of”. Not easy, it invites fright of uncertainty to me personally, but death has become a relevant thing to ponder at my age — I’ll be 50 a couple of years soon. 🥳 Although I am not prone to heaven and hell after life, I believe there is another cycle of life after the physical death whose quality depends on how the earth life is enjoyed and celebrated. A huge enigma!
Good thought that has motivated me to see death positively is a chance to be beautifully remembered by those loving me. I’m not afraid of being disliked by some (even those that I love) because I know I am loved by those whose life I’ve touched. Enjoying life to the fullest joyfully and responsibly is both a game and a goal at the same time. I don’t regret what I’ve done because there is always lesson behind. Now I just want to be a human being around human beings who appreciate each other properly and help each other grow.
Who doesn’t want to be like a sunset whose existence is realised and enjoyed by those who can sense the scene and the moment? No one.
May all beings be happy.
Damn! I’m being melancholic for just a bit. 🥰

Smile is a good mask
Than a mask can be. A mask
Masks a masking smile.
What masks a mask? Or who does?
Unmask! A soul has missed you.
————————————————————-
Sometimes she doesn’t know why she feels a blissful joy. She tries her best to find a reason but seems to fail. When people ask why she looks radiant on certain day, she will just say I love the food, I love the weather, I love this, I love that — simply for courtesy with a bit of honesty compromised due to inability to give exact reason.
Perhaps the reason is because the footprints of falling in love is greater than the scars of broken heart. Alas! It might not be. Or, it might be. Come on, it might not be. Ah! That’s not important.
Oh? She doesn’t know. And it is ok to feel that way – blissfully joyful with unknown reason like when she is falling in love, unreasonable — her love did go to that that she never ever thought of getting on the way then suddenly gone away.
Tragic comedy! 🙃
❣️

Woman is human being
With exactly the same rights as man to be human being.
All her decisions should be respected like man’s decisions should be respected, too.
It is not a privilege to be a woman like it is not a privilege to be a man, too.
It is a privilege to be a woman like it is a privilege to be a man, too.
In some culture woman is discriminated based on different things, but overall the discrimination is simply because she is a woman.
Don’t worry, culture sustains when human being preserves it. So let’s change the discrimination culture by promoting a non-discriminative mindset.
In some culture though woman overdoes her fight of emancipation that makes herself suffer with no gain.
There should be no fighting between man and woman because the existence of both doesn’t generate competition. It is a complimentary and supplementary relationship for one another in different levels or fields of roles and responsibilities that are agreed without discrimination, harassment or abuse just because of being a woman or a man.
Ah! It is good for her to be a woman. And I know it is good for him to be a man.
Stop ranting! Go rest. 😀









Red leaves, Beloved
Gracefully fall on the lap
Of Mother Nature,
Garnishing coloured autumn
Welcoming benign winter.
Dream, dream, Beloved.
As vibrant as you wish to,
As sweet as you want.
You’re red leaves lightheartedly
Flying decorating life.
—————————————————————
I wish all my good dreams come true. And all of yours, too 🙏🏼
Salam.
Time travels with you
To where good memories sit,
Waiting to rejoice.
———————————————————-
When I was a girl, I got sick very often. Yet what I remember the most isn’t the pain but is how my family would take care of me. Of course they medically treated me either at home or hospitalised, but there was a unique way I can never forget what my mother, father and siblings did extra.
My father would chant Javanese mantra that would calm me down. My mother would wrap me with a sheet of batik cloth before putting the next thicker blanket. And of course siblings especially sisters would sleep with me the whole night.
What Javanese mantra chanted by father? Oh can’t remember! What batik, I definitely remember it and now own it for the same need; covering myself with batik gringsing when sick.

Gringsing is one of the oldest batik background patterns in Java. It is thousands of tiny square with a dot in the center symbolising “sedulur papat kalima pancer” (literally means 4 siblings and 1 core as the fifth) the cosmic balance of human reality in Javanese wisdom. And through the philosophy it is believed that when a Javanese human is sick, s/he is cosmically imbalanced and needs to be balanced. Physically s/he is medically treated, metaphysically s/he is cured with gringsing the balance symbol.
Gringsing is an acronym of gring or gering (sick, not well, ill) and sing (not); gringsing means not sick anymore. Oh! That simple! Made by hand! Oh! Not that simple!
What a blessed human being!


Across rainbow bridge,
Wings bring a tiny light up
High to where it glows.
————————————————————-
I’m surrounded by animal lovers and rescuers. Every now and then I see how they struggle with animals in pain or death. It’s not easy each time those friends have to say good bye but at the same time they learn again and again that the best end is by releasing sincerely and being released sincerely.
Happy journey, Dear. Thanks for all the lessons you have taught us.
Alfatihah 💝🙏🏼

Today I had a lunch chat with a colleague. We discussed about this and that and of course how we both grow more grey hair, more fat and of course more wisdom.

I remember when I was 30’s I said to him I was so afraid of growing old alone. Now I’m growing old alone and I’m not afraid. Today I said to him that I’m afraid of dying alone and he lightly said “No one wants to die with you or with anyone else, girl! No one!”
I laughed and said “Damn! you’re right!”
And I made a good decision right during the convo that I won’t be afraid of being alone! Everything is gonna be alright!
But he said something before saying goodbye “And you’d better be a bit stingy to those not helping!”
“Damn! You’re right again!”
Life is fair but life is also not fair so we’d better know how to surf! Unfortunately, I don’t like surfing, I’m just gonna be biking!

I laugh, am I happy?
I smile, am I happy?
What?
Happy?
What is “happy”?
Oh! I’m happy because I forgot all of his contact details.
Thanks!
Am I happy now?
I choose to be.
———————————————————-
Normal people choose to be happy. But do people take actions that lead them to happiness? Not always! And that’s the gap in life.
Happiness should come as a decision, with consequences and risks. To me happiness is as simple as forgetting important details of my life.
Thank you for making me forget some things. I’m blessed!
Salam. 💝
Honestly I prefer to name it by either feminine or masculine rather than women and men. It’s not about what’s attached between your crotch that matters by being a human, it’s about the quality attached to your spirit and contribution made to society.
So, even if someone is born a woman, she won’t be able to appreciate other women as long as she only sees the other women’s physical body measurement as the indicators. And by doing so, she does discriminate other women in the essence for having non-essential indicators to appreciate them.
Whereas, at the same time I see many men around me respect and appreciate women simply because they know those women have the same opportunity to contribute for a better life. Or else, they discriminate based on sex or even any other thing attached to the women.
Ok, let’s agree though to call today as International Women’s Day and make the spirit of anti-discrimination based on anything possible be rekindled.
Happy International Women’s Day to all women who represent the symbol of femininity and to all men who become part of appreciating agent.

It’s about flower in its life cycle.
A flower blooms, dries to fall off or falls to dry at time in place for a given moment. It lives then dies. It blossoms or prematurely drops.
Some flowers are admired, some are not even noticed. Some are vibrantly coloured, some are dead dull. Some are meticulous, some are straightly simple. Some produce edible fruits, some the poisonous.
It’s about flower, the beauty in itself, although most view points perceive the look differently. Absolute beauty sits where it is, lingering forever as values and concepts. Relative beauty fades away through aging, some even without being remembered as memory or history.
It’s about flower, the one in a palace and that in a lawn.
Salam. Alfatihah.




Even though they’re weed,
They’re flower, ready to bloom.
Truly as they are.
———————————————————
Respect each other as all of us have become us with no choice but traveling the paths we’ve agreed to sign up. Early termination doesn’t apply; life is about starting and completing what’s written.
Respect each other. At least….
💝
I’m a tiny dot in the galaxy, a mini tiny dot in the universe but I won’t give up praying that You will give peace in the heart of every human being on earth.
My prayer is for the children, elderly, disabled and animals where violence is hell on earth. That is the real hell.
Please, Peace grow in their heart and mine.
Beloved, please drive us to where peace survives.
Why should there be war?

Happy, Beloved,
Return to office saying
“Hi!” to real bodies
——————————————————-
My first day working in office after 23 months working from remote workplace felt like my first day joining the company. Excitement and thrill, this time with clarity, calmness and strong ground
Although not many, I met people in real bodies not their avatar.
Thanks for the new day!


Live once, no regret,
Said banana trees. They die
After giving fruits.
——————————————————



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