Time travels with you To where good memories sit, Waiting to rejoice.
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When I was a girl, I got sick very often. Yet what I remember the most isn’t the pain but is how my family would take care of me. Of course they medically treated me either at home or hospitalised, but there was a unique way I can never forget what my mother, father and siblings did extra.
My father would chant Javanese mantra that would calm me down. My mother would wrap me with a sheet of batik cloth before putting the next thicker blanket. And of course siblings especially sisters would sleep with me the whole night.
What Javanese mantra chanted by father? Oh can’t remember! What batik, I definitely remember it and now own it for the same need; covering myself with batik gringsing when sick.
1.2mx2.3m batik cloth with gringsing background pattern of flower bouquets
Gringsing is one of the oldest batik background patterns in Java. It is thousands of tiny square with a dot in the center symbolising “sedulur papat kalima pancer” (literally means 4 siblings and 1 core as the fifth) the cosmic balance of human reality in Javanese wisdom. And through the philosophy it is believed that when a Javanese human is sick, s/he is cosmically imbalanced and needs to be balanced. Physically s/he is medically treated, metaphysically s/he is cured with gringsing the balance symbol.
Gringsing is an acronym of gring or gering (sick, not well, ill) and sing (not); gringsing means not sick anymore. Oh! That simple! Made by hand! Oh! Not that simple!
What a blessed human being!
wrapping body when catching fever doesn’t replace paracetamol, it’s to recall the memory of how my family well treated me when I was sick 🥰detail of gringsing: a tiny squarish scale with a dot in the center – sedulur 4 ka-5 pancer
Across rainbow bridge, Wings bring a tiny light up High to where it glows.
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I’m surrounded by animal lovers and rescuers. Every now and then I see how they struggle with animals in pain or death. It’s not easy each time those friends have to say good bye but at the same time they learn again and again that the best end is by releasing sincerely and being released sincerely.
Happy journey, Dear. Thanks for all the lessons you have taught us.
Alfatihah 💝🙏🏼
bye, Item; see you across the bridge 🥰 alfatihah 💝
Today I had a lunch chat with a colleague. We discussed about this and that and of course how we both grow more grey hair, more fat and of course more wisdom.
happy to work with those having courage to tell when it’s right or wrong, with objectivity
I remember when I was 30’s I said to him I was so afraid of growing old alone. Now I’m growing old alone and I’m not afraid. Today I said to him that I’m afraid of dying alone and he lightly said “No one wants to die with you or with anyone else, girl! No one!”
I laughed and said “Damn! you’re right!”
And I made a good decision right during the convo that I won’t be afraid of being alone! Everything is gonna be alright!
But he said something before saying goodbye “And you’d better be a bit stingy to those not helping!”
“Damn! You’re right again!”
Life is fair but life is also not fair so we’d better know how to surf! Unfortunately, I don’t like surfing, I’m just gonna be biking!
slow down to both directions, live and die is like drawing an ♾
Honestly I prefer to name it by either feminine or masculine rather than women and men. It’s not about what’s attached between your crotch that matters by being a human, it’s about the quality attached to your spirit and contribution made to society.
So, even if someone is born a woman, she won’t be able to appreciate other women as long as she only sees the other women’s physical body measurement as the indicators. And by doing so, she does discriminate other women in the essence for having non-essential indicators to appreciate them.
Whereas, at the same time I see many men around me respect and appreciate women simply because they know those women have the same opportunity to contribute for a better life. Or else, they discriminate based on sex or even any other thing attached to the women.
Ok, let’s agree though to call today as International Women’s Day and make the spirit of anti-discrimination based on anything possible be rekindled.
Happy International Women’s Day to all women who represent the symbol of femininity and to all men who become part of appreciating agent.
from one of my good friends – I’m grateful male in my inner circle are those respecting women based on what we’re capable of doing at the same time having ability to laugh at what’s funny in reality e.g.: ladies parking 😂 oops! sorry, myself 😶🌫️
A flower blooms, dries to fall off or falls to dry at time in place for a given moment. It lives then dies. It blossoms or prematurely drops.
Some flowers are admired, some are not even noticed. Some are vibrantly coloured, some are dead dull. Some are meticulous, some are straightly simple. Some produce edible fruits, some the poisonous.
It’s about flower, the beauty in itself, although most view points perceive the look differently. Absolute beauty sits where it is, lingering forever as values and concepts. Relative beauty fades away through aging, some even without being remembered as memory or history.
It’s about flower, the one in a palace and that in a lawn.
Salam. Alfatihah.
prominent, admired, blessedunnoticed, hidden beauty, blessedfall to dry, blesseddried and ready to decompose, blessed
Even though they’re weed, They’re flower, ready to bloom. Truly as they are.
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Respect each other as all of us have become us with no choice but traveling the paths we’ve agreed to sign up. Early termination doesn’t apply; life is about starting and completing what’s written.
I’m a tiny dot in the galaxy, a mini tiny dot in the universe but I won’t give up praying that You will give peace in the heart of every human being on earth.
My prayer is for the children, elderly, disabled and animals where violence is hell on earth. That is the real hell.
Happy, Beloved, Return to office saying “Hi!” to real bodies
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My first day working in office after 23 months working from remote workplace felt like my first day joining the company. Excitement and thrill, this time with clarity, calmness and strong ground
Although not many, I met people in real bodies not their avatar.
Thanks for the new day!
frozen in a huge quiet space but happy! 🥰🥰🥰
on my way to the bus stop after work, I met a jungle fowl as happy as me 🥰🥰🥰 – hello, ayam hutan!
Live once, no regret, Said banana trees. They die After giving fruits.
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the boy, the mole, the fox and the horse – them in oneunlearn, my dear…. let gomy finding me is like finding a piece of unpolished sapphire, not diamond which is too high value nor gravel which is too low – maybe it’s gonna be unpolished forever but at least I know it’s a sapphire, not diamond not gravel
Treasure’s treasured, why In tombs guarded by legends? It’s secret’s secrets.
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I’ve often thought that people living in this society is either living right at the bars or above the bars. It’s either we force ourselves to enjoy comfort that gives us uncomfortable consequences OR we comfortably enjoy whatever we have for comfort with just-right consequences. Today I learnt that there might be some super rich living in an area which “normal” millionaires here won’t even think as a good place to live. I read a news about a millionaire who in fact lives under their own bar with his family. Extraordinary!
So?
Ah! Life is just like that! There are choices to make and people make choices which (they think) they deserve.
Nothing is more liberating knowing that life still offers me wonderful news. It has proven me that life can be NOT-WYSIWYG. I would not imagine someone mistook my car as a grab car, while I were a super duper rich girl waiting for my friends to get on my Honda Vezel. 😃
Go solo travel Through blocked road, dead end With fright, thirst and hope! Trees will tell you where to go. Sun will tell you when to halt.
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I (almost) always travel alone and I love it. It is not only business trip but also travel for leisure.
My first impressive adventurous solo travel was at 12 with my red mini bike. I would bike from home to my uncle’s home in a hilly district. It was about one hour ride of 7 kilometers away excluding all the U turns of getting lost in quite rough terrain in the route. I was excited doing it though because of nieces and nephews waiting to play with and the agriculture experience to enjoy. The up-hill biking to uncle’s home was my private getaway until my little brother insisted joining.
Another impressive solo travel of mine was in Bandar Lampung where I visited elephant and rhino conservation centres. Unfortunately the sweet young me was still innocent that people thought I was welcoming them; and I got sexual-physically harassed. Lucky me to be saved by a bus driver — wherever you are (maybe you away already because you looked like 60 years old when I was 26), you are blessed, Pak Supir!
And the excitement of the first impressive solo travel and the most dangerous one have combined to be a sufficient foundation for me to be a 99% solo traveler until now.
Traveling solo, I learn and improve how to cope with life challenges: languages, culture, human behaviour, security, etc. Yet I can enjoy the trips as I wish without having to wait for others moving slower or having to be dragged by others moving faster. It is almost always about excitement, freedom and privacy!
The bravest trip of mine was to Bangladesh in 2011. Plane touched down at 12am. Taxi waited in a corner that will be considered dangerous spot by any normal women on earth. Hotel was totally different from what was described online. Food was a bit below my hygiene par but I had to show my respect by eating with (fake) happy look! Yet I was truly happy to meet 3 new friends who hosted me with genuine hospitality (no fakey smiley like in some countries on earth I won’t mention); they brought me to city parks, mosques, slum areas, high end areas, etc in Dhaka. That was one paradoxically the happiest-saddest trip where I met the most skinny dogs and poor people right in front of luxurious houses. The most teary nights ever!
My smoothest, most expensive was 20-day solo travel in Europe: expensive flights, flights between countries, 1st class trains between cities and countries, taxi rides, good hotels, accessible public facilities, drinkable water free of charge!, good choices of food…. very little warm smile though. My favourite cities are still Amsterdam with so many Indonesians that warmed my soul and Madrid with so many handsome men that freshened my eyes! 😂
Do I still want to travel alone? YES! but not 99% anymore, maybe will be 75%. I have a small group of semi-backpacker ladies who will be best neighbours when I retire. So they might be my travel buddies when I want to share some itinerary with.
I miss traveling!!!
Next destination? I don’t know…. The virus has evolved from physical barrier to physio-socio-psycho-political block for me to move around! God bless you, dear Corona.
Happy Sunday home! Salaam. 💝
traveling isn’t the only way to find your true self, you can travel within instead; yet when having time and resources, do travel out of your familiar towns and cities – you’ll feel different blessings! stay safe!
A dream, Beloved, Is roots absorbing nutrient In any seasons.
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Teak wood tree will shake all her leaves to fall off in dry season and look like standing death log in order to save her energy in managing her metabolism. It happens until the first rain pours down again. Young leaves will come out. The forest will come alive again. Annually!
That’s what I learn from my childhood living in a district where teak wood forest was rich and well protected.
If I were a tree, I would dance and sing in its root in the spring, summer and autumn before dozing off in the winter.
That’s what I learn about having dreams in life.
Thank you! for everything
🥰
my dream is much simpler than his (I don’t even dream of visiting NY/USA, the only place I’m willing to visit is my office) but he is one of those inspiring me! he is mediocre (he said) just like me (I said) but given so much by life❣️
New year, Beloved, Leaf falling celebrated By the wind then gone; Only memories will stay In the soul of those alive.
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You can start the year on any day and call it a new year. You can use lunar or solar or any other possible cycle in the galaxy or even beyond the galaxy as you wish.
The only thing you need is making sure your start is well used.
I thank everyday for the second chance, the new day everyday, the new year everyday.
Happy Chinese New Year!
a video from a colleague in Taiwan, always one of my favourite buddies at work!!! 👍🏽 Gong Xi, Gong Xi, Tim!
I’m in, Beloved, Heart and soul. Give me some time, I might be behind.
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Life journey is a bus full of passengers. They are free to choose how to enjoy the ride except to disturb the driver. Some read books. Some sleep. Some look out day dreaming. Some enjoy the running-backwards scenery. Some talk to other passengers. Some try to seduce sexy passengers. Some take chances to steal sleeping people’s valuable belongings. Some complain why it takes so long to reach the destination. Some just look around confused or amazed or stupid or blank. Some do. Some do other things. Some don’t. Many, many and many things are happening in one packed stuffy place, misunderstood as the only whole life.
Which are you, Beloved?
Ah! A decision was made! I’m not in that bus. I got off earlier and am now riding my scooter! I might be left behind but I made a change inside of me! 🤠
Know not, Beloved This path about to end when And where. I trust you.
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Trust is what she’s been holding tight because without it she’s lost the grip against so much magnetic force around that will pull her into a gaping hole, where greediness can consume anyone till no end.
Thanks, Beloved, for giving me a life that’s imperfect but perfectly humbling me in many ways.
I trust You; voluntarily or forcefully.
💞
a song that touches my heart like a tiny leaf falling on a placid lake 💝 thank you
A home, Beloved Not an outlook— it’s the soul That hugs when inside.
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I bought my first property at 34, a bit late from the original plan simply because I was broke. It was a small house in Greater Jakarta, that is now called “Rumah Bob” (literally Bob’s home) named after my cat Bob.
It is one tiny house in a small cluster, uniformly designed with minimum freedom to show “me” — the owner can only have it painted different colours, install different window sills, plant different flowers and design different garden, add different carport, or maybe buy different cars.
That has motivated me to have a home that reflects “the me that I want to present”. None of the houses offered to me by brokers or friends hit my core although some were into my taste— of course some were simply too pricy. 😩 I rejected all offers.
Apology – Some people (who helped search property for me) thought I was too much because for some of them a house is simply a place to live in comfort, while I’ve always dreamt to live in a home where I can express the true me and help my guests understand their true selves by visiting the home. A few of them sarcastically said I shouldn’t have searched through them if I didn’t have enough money — ohhhhhh some bloody stings!!! 😂 Yet I did apologise to them for being so difficult.
I decided to buy a small plot of land in a greenery in Yogyakarta (my father’s home town) and build a home from scratch.
Architect – It’s very important to choose the right architect. Not necessarily the most prominent as to me integrity and friendship is the most important thing – luckily my best friend recommended her student to work on my dream. Working with an architect who was artist had blessed me. She understood what was wanted by her clients but she never got satisfied even when the clients said the final draft was excellent. She would get back to me saying “Mbak, I think I find which part should be optimised. I’ll get back to you with a new draft.” Thanks to Mbak Novi.
The Core – My home will never impress random onlookers from the outlook or those who think a good house is a luxurious building; they will simply think it’s a humble abode clean and fresh. It will only impress its guests, family and friends who truly relate with me as human beings with different kinds of engagements or those who know how to appreciate humanity and ordinary.
I wish to be granted health and prosperity to live long enough to enjoy being a sincere host in my true home to those who love life.
A dream come true! Alhamdulillah.
May all beings be happy. 💝
front door, greeting family and friends with all my heart and soul – no fake people are welcome
Garden, Beloved, Fertilized with poisons? Dead! Cinder rose goes off.
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A group call with my brother and sister in law is mostly either stupid or crazy. Once we talked about the old time passing and our addiction.
How someone gets addicted to something is mostly started from a physical or mental exit of pain— either clinically prescribed or personally decided— followed by excessive dependency on the substances or the activities.
I’ve seen how people addicted to medicine (I was to pain killer), drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, etc have changed from beautiful human beings into ugly persons either physically or mentally. It’s how awful co-dependency shapes someone’s life. Moreover, there is no addiction in any history that brings true happiness or freedom.
Three of us then discussed about someone who was addicted to something unusual: spiritual drills. Having all resources, the person went shopping on various classes and workshops about spirituality and self help such as meditation, mindfulness, tapping therapy, money magnet and how to optimise it spiritually, how to activate chakra, yoga and blahblahblah, gemstones and their spiritual power, mandala and spiritual awakening, how spiritual life pull financial abundance, spiritual traveling around many places, etc. One had been in one’s 60th class last time we met. One would be able to answer all questions in any possible ways. I called one ‘Mr/Ms Know All’, a euphemistic nick name that might be loved by those addicted to power and authority. Some friends called this person “Mr/Ms Spiritual Junky”.
What I remember about this person is that no one around was genuinely appreciated, everyone was just a “who-are-you-you-think-you’re-better-than-me”. One called most of one’s friends “cantrik”, a Javanese word that literally means follower/helper and would never be up to one’s level (one called one’s self healer and universe map reader).
How ironic! From someone who were full of compassion to someone who were full of envy and insecurity—
I think many if not all people to some extent were once addict who learned the lessons and changed the patterns to be free from co-dependency. My brother was a heavy smoker, been stopping for around 3 years. My sister in law was a Korean drama freak and quit. I myself was addicted to those I fell for and heavily overthinking.
“I almost got addicted to someone again.”
“Let go! Let go! Let go!” said they to me like cheerleaders.
Definitely! It’s a waste to wait for emotionally unavailable people to care that I care about them. I’m ok to get soaked in love and compassion but not in addiction to people. 💝
Addiction, oh addiction.
Alfatihah to all of those who are addicted to anything in any situation. Be healed and blessed.
are they addicted to gadget or hugs? so clingy, damn…. 😂
Time flows, Beloved, To an estuary of hope. Time flows, Beloved, To the eternity sea. Won’t be long before we meet—
Time flows, Beloved To you through me. White beacon Blinks red at low tide. Wind says the woodlands miss me. Time flows, Beloved. Thank you.
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Don’t take too long a time to fix an issue. Time wisely travels with those willing to appreciate a journey through action taking along with wisdom harvesting. Otherwise, it will bulldoze what’s not solved.
Dear January. I know you’ll transform with me who doesn’t want remedial lessons next year.
Thank you, 2021. Welcome, 2022.
Bismillaahirrahmaanirrahiem….
💝
nothing is forever, let go of all that are not serving for my highest good either interest or ambition
no one is perfect, accept the dark side of my own self and learn all lessons either pleasant or unpleasant
balance is feasible only when mental detachment and appropriate acceptance are achieved, I claim the balance
Dream team is unique— Bright, with little craziness To keep all intact.
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This dream team isn’t ideally perfect. The members argue and debate. We confuse and get confused at some turning points before clarity. We can be tired.
It is a perfect fit though for me. We fight for what we believe is right. We silently inspire each other. We don’t fit in others’ squares, are strongly reasonable and on point though. We don’t easily give up. We can accept wide spectrum of ideas and behaviours.
When everyone sings and the composition is clear in hand, no one can deny the unison in a choir. Ya, there is always one Snoopy-ing with its unknown tunes that (believe it or not) always makes other singers happier, more energised and the whole team glued and valued. That is how a dream is shared without discrimination. Snoopy being Snoopy is always needed for laughter and contemplation! That’s my dream team!
I don’t need perfect team because a dream team is not about a group of perfect people with perfect behaviour. It is about a group of imperfect heads with open mind and progressive appreciation sitting together to perfect a common goal to the right direction.
Holiday is going to be over…. Ready to sing again. Let’s wait what is the song and who is willing to be Snoopy-ing next year — ya, take turn, take turn ya…. 😁
May all beings be happy.
this picture on pyjama describes my dream team well
rike jokanan 
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