Good heart, Beloved, What blossoms her life. Always. Bright light in the dark—
————————————————————
Human being with good heart looks weak. Yes. Not always though
Human being with good heart looks stupid. Yes. Not always though
Human being with good heart looks naive. Yes. Not always though
Human being with good heart looks vulnerable. Yes. Not always though
With all those, she’s still seeking all ways to shape a good heart. Failure. Pain. Sadness. Vulnerability. Anger. Disappointment. All those are nothing but chisels sculpting the best figure in the right place at the right time.
Thanks for sending me all those human beings with good heart along this journey.
May all beings be happy.
Salaam….
where I am now after my Japanese class – this heart is filled with joy! 💝
Life is eternal. Strand of dimensions through time Bargained with good deeds Also sins. How long? You guess. Till creation’s obsolete?
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September is the month when age becomes major contemplation.
How can I get older yet be more stupid?
There is a consistent concern: that the older I am, the more things I don’t know. This impression grows stronger every year. There is only one getting better: forgetting people’s names. 😎
Will there be a world where I’m not getting older, not getting younger but growing better and brighter? I don’t know….
The convo with this good friend has always left me in deep thoughts about my own self especially in September. Thanks for the chat and good contemplation, Mbak Nungki.
The play-smart mind told me “Find what’s the cause.”
The relaxed mind of me replied “Alamak… It’s just a metal.”
The play-pretty mind said “But it is now less pretty!”
The play-wise mind said “Small one. I’m just being careless. Ok!”
The greedy mind said “That’s a good reason to buy new ones!”
From behind the door, the naive one said “Why so noisy? It doesn’t kill.”
…… #@$%^&*!
And the core is just smiling, not even opening its eyes.
————————————————————
When talking to one’s own self, one should be ready to feel like crazy inside because one will suddenly realise even within one there are this one and that one, each of whom is craving for attention and needing entertainment.
Get entertained instead and they’ll be the most attractive acrobatics!
May all beings be happy.
dear dream catchers, I won’t buy new ones – you’ll stay as long as the dreams are flowing and vibrating 💕
Do you want to know, Beloved? He’s an Angel, Outcasted. Fallen Of jealousy, arrogance. So is your pride, Beloved?
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I was sitting on my bike checking the left side of AirPods that was not well connected and so lost the audio when someone stopped by and asked,”Are you lost? What way are you trying to find?”
“Oh no, no, no. I’m checking my audio.”
“Oh, I thought you’re lost ha… See map or what haha”
“No, no. Thank you, thank you, Uncle!”
His question “are you lost” reminded me to one who used to live in an exquisitely designed place called heaven and because of losing one’s clear thinking, one was outcasted. One became incompatible with one’s original position.
Who is that one? Those who read religious history of human creation might know, yet I’m not interested to think of the individual. One’s characters, actions and the implication become more relevant to ponder in my situation at that time.
And it calmed me down.
Sometimes losing pride is so significant to a human being. Sometimes failure to show one’s dignity or ability becomes the core of the day. Others’ perception has overridden the real importance of a success itself, or an action. In that situation someone can turn into a jealous, arrogant, irrational who thinks of two: fight or flight, while one should simply stay calm and collected.
Underestimation or humiliation if accepted positively might be simply inability to perceive what is or misunderstanding of self love. In short only those without knowledge and love will underestimate or humiliate others.
Why should I be upset? What a waste!
I don’t want to outcast my own self from the beauty of being a human being just because of forgetting who this person really is. Forget about jobs or credentials; both are not significant when alone meeting with one’s self.
I don’t want to ignore what’s happening inside just because of my own or others’ perceptions. Let them say I’m low; I’m not low although I’m never high. Let them say I’m nothing; I’m not nothing although I’m nobody. Let them say I’m meaningless; I’m not meaningless although I don’t mean to be the most meaningful of all.
Oh Lord, thanks for sending me an old wise man to show the other side of a coin.
Thanks for making me a human being so I won’t live forever outcasted in arrogance and jealousy.
Dear, Arrogance. Dear, Jealousy. Although not forever, you are still living here now comfortably. Be tamed for me.
Blessings, Beloved, Accepting with no review— See it differently.
———————————————————-
Today’s short message from a wise friend takes one of the longest thought. Lucky me for being alone so the time and space is serving just me.
Sometimes our emotion isn’t our emotion. It might be someone else’s that sits in us because some people entrust the emotions to us when sharing their burden to us. Believe it or not there is exchange of energy when beings are interacting with each other. We get sad when our family is sad. We are upset when our best friends are betrayed. We can be devastated when our pets pass away. The scale of the impact depends on how deeply they get hurt and/or how vulnerable we are to them. As simple as that.
When I asked this good friend why people or incidents are not avoidable although I’ve made best effort to stay away. Her message is “karma”. She is a Buddhist so that reply is her logical response. Besides I see the logic of karma thing.
Although I can’t tangibly prove that I live repeated lives, I live in karma system. If I do good, I get good. I do no good, I get no good. Simple and straightforward forward— whether the cause is the good one in the past affecting the current situation; or the present good deed affecting the future (not necessarily related to repeated life), that’s a certainty
But why the karma isn’t working as one to one? No, karma works like someone who plants mango seed – one mango seed will only give its fruits when it’s ready and the one seed will give the farmer hundreds of mango fruits. That karma. Alamak….!
So what should I do, Bude? I asked my friend.
Her message (translated into English word by word): that is your task of compassion.
So?
Accept it. Grow more good seeds that bad one. Pour clean water to your jug that is filled with dirty water until the jug is overflown with clean water and the dirty is flushed out.
So I can’t avoid them and don’t need to avoid them. The only thing I should do is to accept them without review. The only mandatory review is to my own emotions; understanding whether the emotion is my emotion or unnecessary impact that happens because of weak protection membrane around my own self.
This is not new thing for all of us. Yet 2020 and 2021 have been field of emotional battle in which I’ve learnt how to identify my own and others’. What a period! I wish all is getting better with the upcoming birthday. Amen.
So lucky to have good friends who are willing to accompany me in this journey.
Dear God, love me and love all my good friends. Thank you for giving the blessings of friendship, true one with true one. Please let me stay in the true one.
Salaam.
wherever the directions, the end is love and compassion, nothing else – if we accept it
You are, Beloved, A complete self who finds new Self one at a time.
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A philosopher once said that change is the only constant and others agreed with the statement. When we see change as tangibility yes, I totally agree.
Yet about growth of self I have my own comprehension. Do I change? Yes, I get thinner or fatter, older with wrinkles and lines not younger, slower, weaker physically, less sharp sight, and so on and so forth. So I change? No, I’m still the same person with the same DNA, family, date of birth, place of birth, or other possible constants.
Not only that….
I believe I’m always this full yet I discover this self more and more everyday. With deeper and deeper understanding, wider and wider disclosure I have lived and accepted life.
Personally everyone is granted with talents, DNA, family, date of birth, place of birth. No one can deny those. No one can escape even one hates those and wishes to have been born someone else. Sorry, you can’t! Embrace the personality.
Yet everyone is given opportunity to build identity.
What did I want myself to be?
What did I not want to be associated with?
How did I want others to perceive me?
How did I not want others to treat me?
What?
How?
Whom do I want to enter my life?
Who will be part of my inner circle I want?
Whom?
Who?
Why have I done this and that? This is a very important question to even know the unbroken chains that has brought me to this state.
Am I still I am? Yes, definitely a constant! But am I me? No, you’re a different you since you’ve embraced constant self discovery.
😏
Me: Saturday night, keep me safe and warm.
Saturday night: You’ll be safe and warm if you finish your laundry and mop the floor. No one will do it!
Me: (losing all suddenly-pretending-to-be-wise act and thought)
Saturday night: 🤪 capek deh….!
May all beings be happy.
pretty sword lilies and asiatic lilies – sorry, not today, no budget!!!
I want to want I want to not want I don’t want to want I don’t want to not want
Which one am I now?
————————————————————
As long as I’m human being, I won’t be able to deny the want and not want. It’s not the verb, it’s the subject. A complication of thinking!
I don’t want to love you but I want to free myself to love one staying in the heart. That’s perfection!
In fact the struggle seems like a perfect circle when two ends collides: things don’t always happen as expected. Then what appears is that the simplicity of acceptance is above perception.
Simplicity is the crown of perfection. 💝
Alhamdulillah….
just do things right – when you’re angry, be angry but just do it right
Good vibes, Beloved, Contagious and precious Keep it the longest.
—————————————————————————————————-
Years ago….. One teacher said “You do whatever you want to, but make sure what you do doesn’t harm….” Impatiently student asked,”Harmful to whom?” Teacher didn’t say anything, just pointed to one’s chest then head, and said “Go play and don’t harm yourself or your friends. Have fun, you’re good. You’re good, my child,”
Another teacher would just sang some traditional songs then explained the meaning that were full of wisdom when asked questions. Those silly children would ask so many questions about why religions were many and different, how many gods were there, why the teacher didn’t have religion, why, why, why…..
Another teacher just asked us to eat what one was cooking when we asked questions. We just did and enjoyed the food. It happened when our questions were about what Mr A or Mrs B did this and that for.
More teachers, more experiences…. And we all grew up becoming human beings who approach different things differently or sometimes uniquely although sometimes confusedly. How challenging life is sometimes!
All those learnings happened in the Wonderland! I hope the young get honourable and good teachers as we did before and even better so they build our land into real wonder! Not the most developed in infrastructure, yet with the most developed clear thinking. Not the most modern, yet the most dignified. Not the richest, yet the most caring and loving to the people. What a dream!
Freedom, Beloved, Inner beauty blooms in time. True celebration—
————————————————————
Celebration is a blessings enjoyed everyday. Celebrating health. Celebrating welfare. Celebrating family. Celebrating friendship. Celebrating breath. Celebrating greenery…… Celebrating anything I want to celebrate.
Celebrating stupid chats with some good friends. 😁
I love celebration in which commemoration is the core but never ever enjoy party in which entertainment is the core.
August is major celebration after September. In August two home countries celebrate their independence: Indonesia on 17, Singapura on 9. Both have unique ways to celebrate the days. For the past nine years on Singapura’s I’ve personally loved seeing all the flags hanging in apartments and along streets, in Indonesia’s except last and this years I’ve gone to the Embassy for flag ceremony combined with meeting with other Indonesians enjoying the precious moment together.
Happy National Day, Singapura! Thanks for taking care of me.
Dirgahayu Indonesiaku! How much ever the distance between us, you’re always in this heart. Thanks for gushing me some blood of great archipelago.
Dogma, Beloved, The least she can hold in life. She is full of quests.
————————————————————
What human beings should think of being sick is it is a tool materialised by Life to make them stop or at least slow down especially from analysing every single thing. Yet human beings often forget that blessing should not be always gift-wrapped in fancy paper with ribbons; it might be sometimes humbly bundled in a sack.
Blimey! Why do I have so many sacks? And poorly unable to untie them successfully 😎
May all beings be happy.
a pile of ugly sacks; filled with all the richness of nature
Secret, Beloved Ice cube waiting for warm touch— Melts and flows: a stream Of messages from the heart. Read or heard of. Clean and clear—
———————————————————
No secret, it’s exposure or disclosure in the right place at the right time. I believe life is somewhat designed WYSIWYG for those willing to see life as it is. What you see (should be) is what you get.
Private is about level of security one is living. One day things will be exposed and forgiven or glorified.
Confidential is about secret recipe. One day things will get disclosed and comprehended and copied.
As simple as that. I’ve got no secret hidden. It is just about time for you to know. Either you’ll hate me or hate yourself; OR love me or love yourself for knowing “the secrets”.
Quietude, Beloved, Disclosed to those committed To her self truly— Close all doors and windows. Stay. Rainstorm will end soon.
———————————————————-
Stay within and be calm. Heavy rain, flood, typhoon whatever in rage outside this home won’t destroy you. Just be there and be safe. Just don’t go out!
There is no dance in the rain this time for the acid will harm the hides. Stay. Stay. Stay.
Steam will be cool droplets with short contact with fresh air. Just a little while.
Clear sight, Beloved, Right, clean lens at the right time— Can you see her through?
————————————————————
The older I am getting, the worse this eyesight is growing. Just last week I decided to buy reading spectacles because of so many errors in identifying tenten (double apostrophe) and maru (circle), two grammatical markers added to hiragana and katakana characters especially that affect minimal pair of voices /p/ and /b/.
It’s fine, at least I can see myself clearer. Liking it or not, it’s me. 😘
Chaos, Beloved, Gives orders to those seeking Constellations.
——————————————————-
Dear Self,
With little “light pollution” we can look up to the sky and see millions of stars blinking to us. Small and big, dim and bright, near and distant, at one glance they seem like dots of sands spread on the floor – messy and scattered. Yet after these eyes get used to the focal points, there are patterns. With these constellations our ancestors read directions and made decisions whether they were going sailing, whatever they were growing or what nature would present soon.
There is sky within ourselves where we can stare up seeking clusters of stars, gleaming dots and glowing patches in the darkest of the mind. The chaotic mind isn’t necessarily bad. The mind is simply rolling out all memories to see or listen to or touch or taste or smell in order to find the messages and directions of what to do and where to go.
It takes a bit of silence for a while to realise that the crowded mind is full with clusters of messages and hidden wisdom. It takes a minute or two to calm down the helter-skelter on the day. It simply takes a short focus on the breathing to do it.
That simple, Self. That simple, that a few believe it works.
Salaam….
the bright in the dark – Cygnus that is clearly seen in September. soon 🥰
Numbers, Beloved Symbols of the countable Your blessings and grace
*
or the uncountable, the countless if we are not capable of it
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A friend —not close— changed her Instagram account name, it now includes 333. She’s fond of recurring sequential numbers especially 333, 3333, etc. She’s posted tons of photos of her treasured 333 or 3333 found in bank notes, amount of money in her book keeping (she is a finance manager), vehicle plate numbers, coffee shop bills, receipts, time in her mobile phone, everything and anything with 333 or more. Angelic number. Angka cantik!
When I asked her why she likes 3333, she said that when she first joined a community called “1111”, 333 was the first angelic number she met so since then she’s fallen in love with 333.
How simply Life makes someone connect with one’s self!
When I said to her that recently I’ve seen 1111, she said it is a wake up call. I asked for what? She said maybe my guardian angel is blahblahblah.
Didn’t tell her that 1111 is often visible because ComfortDelgro taxi is my preferred taxi, whose phone number is 65521111 painted on the car body. Hailing it, I see 1111. Sitting in it, I see 1111. In the apps, I see 1111. 😁
But hey! Subconsciously I pay more attention on twin numbers now. Aside from Citycab’s 1111, 65558888 is SMRT taxi, 65553333 is Trans Cab (should send it to her), etc…. Almost all taxi fleets in Singapore are angelic. Aww!
Ok, back to 1111. Maybe the angel is trying to tell me “one, one, one, one” in other words “take a deep breath, one at a time”. Yes! Now I believe in 1111 as a message. So simple!
August, Beloved Earth is thirsty and open. Second crop should come.
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Pranata mangsa literally means season (mangsa) rules (pranata). It is a structured rules for farmers and fishermen in Javanese culture with which they make their plans in growing plants and harvesting the sea. This comprehension was also implemented in Sundanese (major ethnic group in West Java) and Balinese (major ethnic group in Bali). Some European ethnic groups did have this, too like Bauern calendar in Germany.
There are 12 mangsa (seasonal cycles) in Javanese pranata mangsa.
Kasa (Kartika) – Jun. 22 to Aug. 1
Karo (Poso) – Aug. 2-24
Katelu – Aug. 25 to Sep. 17
Kapat (Sitra) – Sep. 18 to Oct. 12
Kalima (Manggala) – Oct. 13 to Nov. 8
Kanem (Naya) – Nov. 9 to Dec. 21
Kapitu (Palguna) – Dec. 22 to Feb. 2
Kawolu (Wasika) – Feb. 3-28
Kasanga (Jita) – Mar. 1-25
Kasadasa (Srawana) – Mar. 26 to Apr. 18
Dhesta (Pradawana) – Apr. 19 to May 11
Sadha (Asuji) – May 12 to Jun. 21
The dates are adjusted every four years due to the 365 and 366 days in a year (leap year).
Javanese would grow certain seeds in each mangsa because in those particular mangsa the earth metabolism have specifically different characteristics suit certain plants to grow; and so, growing them will both maximise the crops and mitigate hazards to the soil.
And the Javanese fishermen would go to sea on certain mangsa and wouldn’t in the others or if they went, they knew which directions they would go as in certain parts of sea is in rage or the sea habitat isn’t ready to present crops to the men. Combined with the ethnoastronomy, the pranata mangsa was a powerful tool for Javanese fishermen in their golden era. No more though 🥴
Pranata mangsa was developed to ensure the health, safety and welfare of both the human beings and the environment. That’s confirmed and proven for ages!
However, this powerful pranata mangsa has been left if not forgotten by the owner. Instead the owner has started using the modern no-season farming and fishery where earth is raped and tortured to cater for the human being greed. The Javanese have betrayed both their own identity and the environment by leaving the pranata mangsa.
Do we really need so much? Or do we want so much?
Maybe it has come to a time to apologise to the earth goddess (called Batari Sri in Javanese, the one given authority by God to take care of soil) and the ocean god (called Batara Baruna in Javanese, the one given authority to take care of water)— they might have screamed for so long because of us, we who don’t care of the risks of harmful fertilisers and irresponsible sea harvesting both to us and to the earth.
Maybe it has come to a time to start healing them that are almost broken and exploding, and healing ourselves for having been greedy and selfish.
We are all born naked Dressed differently in death. What— Would we do in life?
—————————————————————
Would keep laughing at myself in life because there are many comic moments in life (tragedy + time = comedy) — like being born every time, nakedly honest in front of own self
And would love to live around those who can see wisdom from what we’ve laughed at or jokes in wisdom— pure laughter, no humiliation, no underestimation, but yeah sweet insult 🤪
Can’t imagine how boring to live with those who can’t even laugh seeing their face on the mirror…. 🥳
Can’t wait to meet my best people and laugh at this life, accompanied with home made snacks and favourite drinks! Wisdom, jokes, social politic gossip and some stupid “garing” guessing games as always 🤓
Time is relative so next year can feel like one hour from now!
A tree, Beloved Dies of climbing harmful vines. Pull them to revive.
———————————————————-
Pull away gently the harmful vines that climb a tree in a garden to stop them from growing too wildly and finally leave the tree breathless and lack of sun then die slowly….
Knowing which vines are harmful is the first step.
So excited about next year to plant a tree in the home base’s tiny garden. Thanks to a good friend in Ubud who is willing to graft her arum ndalu tree for me.
Dear Pandemic, be mild and friendly. Don’t you know I want to see my home for just one weekend. Please…. 🤕
This homesickness feels like vines that climb a strong tree.
Words don’t end as words. They wait for context to be: Fact? Opinion?
————————————————————
Why should be afraid of using precise words —gathered in a context— clear context of statement, question, request or exclamation if it is to positively convey a message and/or to get expected responses?
I found some people are shy if not afraid of conveying messages because of unsuccessful experiences of getting the messages passed on to the others clearly. They thought the failure was purely theirs. No, not at all!
Know, Self that some people don’t have the tools to comprehend certain messages; it can be because of limitation of language, intelligence, culture, perception, intention, name it…. In fact some others simply don’t want to listen.
When the message isn’t well comprehended, an equivalent response most probably will be delivered, which is unpleasant and/or unclear one.
It is not nice to fail in communication. Only true learners never give up trying. 👍🏽
Communication is about intention as intrinsic factor (make sure it is good) and skill as extrinsic. Both take time to be mature. Yet, in whatever stage of maturity both don’t always collaborate at times.
Hell yeah! I’m talking about myself! Next time better, much better than today’s me.
May all beings be happy.
going back to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs – where am I, where am I?
Magic, Beloved, Scented, shaped, coloured. Travelled By sea, land and air—
————————————————————
There are many choices of flowers and leaves imported from Down Under recently. Protea, leucadendron, silver bell eucalyptus pods, Geraldton wax flower, eryngium big blue, eucalyptus leaves, etc appear in the flower shop.
As they don’t come every month like roses, chrysanthemum and spider lily, I grabbed them fast. Greedy? Please don’t. Let’s call it excited. 😌
These flowers and leaves prove to be not only pretty but also aromatically medicative. Imagine working breathing eucalyptus for at least one week. Ya, they last longer than roses, chrysanthemum and spider lily.
I think I’ve received a lot of blessing and healing through travelling, flowers and food most time of life, particularly recently. There is nothing better to thank but breathing deeply and chewing slowly with all heart and soul.
If not because of being blessed and loved, what else are we given all these?
Sending blessings and love across the ocean to the one dearly loved. 💝
May all beings be happy.
aromatherapy in a vaseleucadendron, the florist called it differently I forgot whatproteasilver bell eucalyptus pod – just saw them and fell in loveeucalyptus leaves – I can breathe it the whole day literally
It rains, Beloved Orange stays bright in the west. Wish you were here, Who?
———————————————————
Sometimes the one that is dearly missed is that who never remembers us. What a paradox!
Paradox is beauty of life, contradictory realities that are given at the same time. There are plenty of hidden messages in between only clear heart can read.
It takes basic skill To be happy and peaceful. Folding paper rice—
——————————————————-
Another Vietnamese cuisine came for brunch! 🍴
Thought it would be easy and fast to fold rice paper to wrap some veggies and meat. Thought it would take only basic skill of folding paper like making origami heart.
Yes, it is pre-basic skill of folding the paper yet the skill to control what’s inside the heart is not that basic. The intention to fold tidily and the urge of immediately eating nice food collided hard just because of a thin layer of helpless wet rice paper. It felt like now or never. Drama! 😂
Today’s target of eating 5 wraps didn’t happen. The rest of the filling became a bowl of salad.
Sorry, dearest paper rice. I failed you. No, no! 3 of 5 is 60%, more than 50% means winning in democracy. 😂
Friendship, Beloved A vast ocean and its waves Sweeping all debris—
———————————————————
A friend visited me at my lunch break. A short talk made the day.
About her retirement plan to hop from one city to another from one country to another with her husband, future visit to my home base, future visit to Ubud, her sons and the menace, my future plans, health and healthcare, vaccination, and everything….
Our longest talk after 2 years of not going someplace together! She brought our favourite kue from Bengawan Solo! 💝
Couldn’t believe it could happen only in one hour. We must have talked as fast as flash!
⚡️
Bengawan Solo jajanan pasar delivered by a friend today
Freedom, Beloved Is gauging limitation. How low can you go? How high can you fly? How long? Life’s integrated limits.
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There is always the next level of things. Perfection? Some say yes. Some say it is freedom, up to self, don’t care about others, want more, and everything.
No one can stop one except one’s self.
Is the end the limit? Not sure; yet it must be sun and moon the cycles integrate.
Beloved, if you allow, let me just be better than my own self before. Nothing more, nothing less.
May all beings be happy. 💝
thanks for the sugar; how many people mustn’t have sugar and I’m still free to consume it – isn’t it a blessing? 💝
Swaying gently down, Feather falls off from the wings Flapping. Angel smiles.
——————————————————————————————————
I used to pick up feathers met on the way to school, office, home, everywhere. Feathers have been good signs to me for years. There has been a feeling of being protected.
Superstition? I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe not.
Now? Still believing that feather present is the presence of protection, but I stopped hoarding. Just look at the feathers, pray for protection and greet the guardian angels, and walk on with a bunch of blessings.
Time runs, Beloved Not flies. Its feet touch the ground, Planting you deeply To the journey. Feel the pace, Beloved. The end is good.
————————————————————
Today’s video call with 6 best friends was at least 2 hours of stupidity in the brink of wisdom.
The talk of health of some of us and overall healthcare in our country has become both joke and contemplation.
One of us said that as a father of two he doesn’t want to be selfish thinking about his health too much. He wants to give the best to his children and if he has to leave them forever, his family won’t suffer of having too little. This oldest of all of us is always the funniest yet the wisest.
One of us said that whatever medical complaints she has, she wants to handle them now. She said she’d better know the diseases how much ever bad they are and do possible treatments soon rather than later when she is older. What a good anticipation!
Another said that he still enjoys everything freely. He called while chewing donuts with heavy chocolate and sugar toppings! What a joy!
Most of us don’t have serious medical issues except that the pandemic in the country is more happening that fear of it is more deadly than the virus itself.
Blahblahblah and hahaha continued when we talked about religions. Those who are religious made fun of us who are “not clear”. And we teased them who are “too clear-cut”.
Fun 2+ hours! Mood booster to welcome another week!
Hope we are all completing everything well.
Take care, crazy good friends! You’re blessed.
Sure we’ll still meet again in a better time! So sure!
💝
just-put-them-in leucadendron and pink striped daisy is ready to welcome the productive week 😎
rike jokanan 
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