Happy

Happy, Beloved,
Return to office saying
“Hi!” to real bodies

——————————————————-

My first day working in office after 23 months working from remote workplace felt like my first day joining the company. Excitement and thrill, this time with clarity, calmness and strong ground

Although not many, I met people in real bodies not their avatar.

Thanks for the new day!

frozen in a huge quiet space but happy! 🥰🥰🥰
on my way to the bus stop after work, I met a jungle fowl as happy as me 🥰🥰🥰 – hello, ayam hutan!

Alone

Go solo travel
Through blocked road, dead end
With fright, thirst and hope!
Trees will tell you where to go.
Sun will tell you when to halt.

—————————————————————

I (almost) always travel alone and I love it. It is not only business trip but also travel for leisure.

My first impressive adventurous solo travel was at 12 with my red mini bike. I would bike from home to my uncle’s home in a hilly district. It was about one hour ride of 7 kilometers away excluding all the U turns of getting lost in quite rough terrain in the route. I was excited doing it though because of nieces and nephews waiting to play with and the agriculture experience to enjoy. The up-hill biking to uncle’s home was my private getaway until my little brother insisted joining.

Another impressive solo travel of mine was in Bandar Lampung where I visited elephant and rhino conservation centres. Unfortunately the sweet young me was still innocent that people thought I was welcoming them; and I got sexual-physically harassed. Lucky me to be saved by a bus driver — wherever you are (maybe you away already because you looked like 60 years old when I was 26), you are blessed, Pak Supir!

And the excitement of the first impressive solo travel and the most dangerous one have combined to be a sufficient foundation for me to be a 99% solo traveler until now.

Traveling solo, I learn and improve how to cope with life challenges: languages, culture, human behaviour, security, etc. Yet I can enjoy the trips as I wish without having to wait for others moving slower or having to be dragged by others moving faster. It is almost always about excitement, freedom and privacy!

The bravest trip of mine was to Bangladesh in 2011. Plane touched down at 12am. Taxi waited in a corner that will be considered dangerous spot by any normal women on earth. Hotel was totally different from what was described online. Food was a bit below my hygiene par but I had to show my respect by eating with (fake) happy look! Yet I was truly happy to meet 3 new friends who hosted me with genuine hospitality (no fakey smiley like in some countries on earth I won’t mention); they brought me to city parks, mosques, slum areas, high end areas, etc in Dhaka. That was one paradoxically the happiest-saddest trip where I met the most skinny dogs and poor people right in front of luxurious houses. The most teary nights ever!

My smoothest, most expensive was 20-day solo travel in Europe: expensive flights, flights between countries, 1st class trains between cities and countries, taxi rides, good hotels, accessible public facilities, drinkable water free of charge!, good choices of food…. very little warm smile though. My favourite cities are still Amsterdam with so many Indonesians that warmed my soul and Madrid with so many handsome men that freshened my eyes! 😂

Do I still want to travel alone? YES! but not 99% anymore, maybe will be 75%. I have a small group of semi-backpacker ladies who will be best neighbours when I retire. So they might be my travel buddies when I want to share some itinerary with.

I miss traveling!!!

Next destination? I don’t know…. The virus has evolved from physical barrier to physio-socio-psycho-political block for me to move around! God bless you, dear Corona.

Happy Sunday home! Salaam. 💝

traveling isn’t the only way to find your true self, you can travel within instead; yet when having time and resources, do travel out of your familiar towns and cities – you’ll feel different blessings! stay safe!

Aging

Aging, Beloved,
Counting blessings everyday—
Feeling challenging?

——————————————————————————————————

Sometimes a challenge or deadline is needed like fertiliser sprinkled on to the soil to trigger more chemical, biological, physical reactions from the root dancing in the ground to go deeper and healthier so that the tree grows even stronger and taller.

頑張りましょう!

28-day writing challenge with some friends feels like a squid game 💝 😵‍💫

Do!

Balance, Beloved
Not about same measurement—
It’s the harmony.

———————————————————

Let’s be fair, dear Self. Are you 1 kg of feathers or 1 kg of gold?

Let’s be honest. Do you prefer 2-week laundry to wash or 2-week laundry to iron?

Challenging choices to be aligned with immediate happiness

🤹🏼‍♀️

Bl—dy he—❣️

this is a true disaster! the surface of my universe 🦸🏻‍♀️

About Her

In love, Beloved,
With life witnessed by flowers
That bloom in my heart.

———————————————————

I love but also don’t love myself.

flowing down
flowing in

I Trust You

Know not, Beloved
This path about to end when
And where. I trust you.

——————————————————-

Trust is what she’s been holding tight because without it she’s lost the grip against so much magnetic force around that will pull her into a gaping hole, where greediness can consume anyone till no end.

Thanks, Beloved, for giving me a life that’s imperfect but perfectly humbling me in many ways.

I trust You; voluntarily or forcefully.

💞

a song that touches my heart like a tiny leaf falling on a placid lake 💝 thank you

River

River, Beloved,
Flows. Let things go with the flow
From, in, through, to you.

—————————————————————

Feel the flow: calm, swift, pushing, breaking, splashing, swirling, stuck, moving. No matter what, flow.

enzo on a plate
golden enzo

Home

A home, Beloved
Not an outlook— it’s the soul
That hugs when inside.

—————————————————————-

I bought my first property at 34, a bit late from the original plan simply because I was broke. It was a small house in Greater Jakarta, that is now called “Rumah Bob” (literally Bob’s home) named after my cat Bob.

It is one tiny house in a small cluster, uniformly designed with minimum freedom to show “me” — the owner can only have it painted different colours, install different window sills, plant different flowers and design different garden, add different carport, or maybe buy different cars.

That has motivated me to have a home that reflects “the me that I want to present”. None of the houses offered to me by brokers or friends hit my core although some were into my taste— of course some were simply too pricy. 😩 I rejected all offers.

Apology – Some people (who helped search property for me) thought I was too much because for some of them a house is simply a place to live in comfort, while I’ve always dreamt to live in a home where I can express the true me and help my guests understand their true selves by visiting the home. A few of them sarcastically said I shouldn’t have searched through them if I didn’t have enough money — ohhhhhh some bloody stings!!! 😂 Yet I did apologise to them for being so difficult.

I decided to buy a small plot of land in a greenery in Yogyakarta (my father’s home town) and build a home from scratch.

Architect – It’s very important to choose the right architect. Not necessarily the most prominent as to me integrity and friendship is the most important thing – luckily my best friend recommended her student to work on my dream. Working with an architect who was artist had blessed me. She understood what was wanted by her clients but she never got satisfied even when the clients said the final draft was excellent. She would get back to me saying “Mbak, I think I find which part should be optimised. I’ll get back to you with a new draft.” Thanks to Mbak Novi.

The Core – My home will never impress random onlookers from the outlook or those who think a good house is a luxurious building; they will simply think it’s a humble abode clean and fresh. It will only impress its guests, family and friends who truly relate with me as human beings with different kinds of engagements or those who know how to appreciate humanity and ordinary.

I wish to be granted health and prosperity to live long enough to enjoy being a sincere host in my true home to those who love life.

A dream come true! Alhamdulillah.

May all beings be happy. 💝

front door, greeting family and friends with all my heart and soul – no fake people are welcome

A She In Words

A she, Beloved,
Is far and near, clear and blur,
But not true or false.

—————————————————————

Some people describe something so beautifully that others feel found and blessed. Those people are called the wise.

Weekend is rich with memes and kitchen; a bit chaotic with laundry and rain. Like a she she is! 🤩

All memes: from Pinterest

Rose Garden

Garden, Beloved,
Fertilized with poisons? Dead!
Cinder rose goes off.

———————————————————

A group call with my brother and sister in law is mostly either stupid or crazy. Once we talked about the old time passing and our addiction.

How someone gets addicted to something is mostly started from a physical or mental exit of pain— either clinically prescribed or personally decided— followed by excessive dependency on the substances or the activities.

I’ve seen how people addicted to medicine (I was to pain killer), drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, etc have changed from beautiful human beings into ugly persons either physically or mentally. It’s how awful co-dependency shapes someone’s life. Moreover, there is no addiction in any history that brings true happiness or freedom.

Three of us then discussed about someone who was addicted to something unusual: spiritual drills. Having all resources, the person went shopping on various classes and workshops about spirituality and self help such as meditation, mindfulness, tapping therapy, money magnet and how to optimise it spiritually, how to activate chakra, yoga and blahblahblah, gemstones and their spiritual power, mandala and spiritual awakening, how spiritual life pull financial abundance, spiritual traveling around many places, etc. One had been in one’s 60th class last time we met. One would be able to answer all questions in any possible ways. I called one ‘Mr/Ms Know All’, a euphemistic nick name that might be loved by those addicted to power and authority. Some friends called this person “Mr/Ms Spiritual Junky”.

What I remember about this person is that no one around was genuinely appreciated, everyone was just a “who-are-you-you-think-you’re-better-than-me”. One called most of one’s friends “cantrik”, a Javanese word that literally means follower/helper and would never be up to one’s level (one called one’s self healer and universe map reader).

How ironic! From someone who were full of compassion to someone who were full of envy and insecurity—

I think many if not all people to some extent were once addict who learned the lessons and changed the patterns to be free from co-dependency. My brother was a heavy smoker, been stopping for around 3 years. My sister in law was a Korean drama freak and quit. I myself was addicted to those I fell for and heavily overthinking.

“I almost got addicted to someone again.”

“Let go! Let go! Let go!” said they to me like cheerleaders.

Definitely! It’s a waste to wait for emotionally unavailable people to care that I care about them. I’m ok to get soaked in love and compassion but not in addiction to people. 💝

Addiction, oh addiction.

Alfatihah to all of those who are addicted to anything in any situation. Be healed and blessed.

are they addicted to gadget or hugs? so clingy, damn…. 😂

Addiction to technology?

cinder rose, dusty pink 🥰 from Pinterest

Time Takes Side

Time flows, Beloved,
To an estuary of hope.
Time flows, Beloved,
To the eternity sea.
Won’t be long before we meet—

Time flows, Beloved
To you through me. White beacon
Blinks red at low tide.
Wind says the woodlands miss me.
Time flows, Beloved. Thank you.

—————————————————————

Don’t take too long a time to fix an issue. Time wisely travels with those willing to appreciate a journey through action taking along with wisdom harvesting. Otherwise, it will bulldoze what’s not solved.

Dear January. I know you’ll transform with me who doesn’t want remedial lessons next year.

Thank you, 2021. Welcome, 2022.

Bismillaahirrahmaanirrahiem….

💝

nothing is forever, let go of all that are not serving for my highest good either interest or ambition
no one is perfect, accept the dark side of my own self and learn all lessons either pleasant or unpleasant
balance is feasible only when mental detachment and appropriate acceptance are achieved, I claim the balance
I’m ok, dude…. You’re not? 🤠

Red Leaves

Red leaves, Beloved,
Are red yet the eyes might catch
Different reds. Normal—

————————————————————-

My red is a red no matter how red is mine compared to others’ reds. I respect others’ reds by not questioning their ability to perceive a red. In fact I only care about the reds of those in my inner circle in order to live harmoniously; and, those working together in order to ensure that the red is articulated precisely with no misunderstanding by all work partners.

Alhamdulillah.

May all beings be happy in this Christmas Eve. 💝

I love all reds in my frame. I joyfully let those out of the frame go.

Play Wise

How time flies!
How age discolours hair,
Folds skin,
Accumulates fat,
Shortens eyesight,
Softens muscles,
Weakens body.
Damn!

How life dives!
How age develops mind,
Broadens horizon,
Wises up perception,
Deepens empathy,
Harden willingness,
Strengthens compassion.
Hell yeah!

Don’t play wise, Fool. Your hair needs dyeing soon!

————————————————————-

I was an old soul. Now I am just old. 😌

sweating through brisk walking and jogging, the grey refused to hide – stubborn old hair! 😎

How To See The Self

Mirror on the wall,
I’m the prettiest of all?
It cracks up. Masks gone—

————————————————————-

Ah, weekends of mid December! Work is slowing down on several days. Weekends feel like starting on Friday morning. I have some longer time to talk to the mirror and find that I’m still there! A hidden innocent rascal nicely sitting behind layers of curtains

Masquerade on break!

🤡👻🤖👽😈👹👺🎭💩🎃👾🤠

🥰

May all beings be happy! 💝

🤩
watching Maru, feeling like looking at the mirror 🤪

Matur Nuwun

The boughs touch the ground
Showing respect to nature,
Mother who loves all.
Fruits are ready to harvest
Everyday. Farmers’ blessings—

———————————————————-

One of those teaching me constant gratitude is my mother. When I share my problems, she will either tell me “We should be grateful that our problems are still solvable” or “We are still lucky that we are still given blessings when having problems” or “It is ok, someday they will understand”.

That lady is made of flexible rubber when hit by hard challenges. Nothing hurt her blessed heart. I’m lucky to be born by her. I guess God has sent her to teach me patience….

…. and at the same time to be patient. Hallow…. It takes patience to deal with patient people. I mean it!

Matur nuwun, Ibu. I love you. 💝

matur nuwun

Thanksgiving

Thanks for everything
Not only abundance, but
Also scarcity.

—————————————————————

Online work mode has made people think creatively to minimize boredom including inserting some fun through dress code in online meetings. This time thanksgiving. Yay!

I’ve read some history and the development of that tradition, not a fans though because I am raised a Javanese who is supposed to thank every day —every moment if possible— with whatever reason. If you don’t have reasons to be grateful, find one.

For being a human being. For being a female. For being one rascal in the family. For being a persistent colleague. For the abundance. For the scarcity. For being me now.

If it is still hard to thank for who you are, Beloved, just be you with the layers of fear, hope and awe.

Thank you! For everything 🐣

not a fans of costume but thanksgiving is not far from turkey, turkey headband is counted costume 🦃☺️ my hair! 🙄

What Kind of Neighbour Am I?

Dear mango flowers,
Bloom when I’m home, have some fruits.
Let’s visit neighbours.

—————————————————————-

If you do good, your neighbours will be good, too. Really?

Not always. Sometimes however good you are, your neighbours will be not so good. Yet still do good, just give fewer mangoes to them.

Good discount should be given in some special occasions, right?

Hey, Neighbours! 🍀

tiny fragrant flowers 🥰
I’ll be a good neighbour and will give good discount in some occasions, only to those not so good 😊

Forever

A strand of white pearls
Harvested in the deep sea
Bedazzles her neck.

————————————————————

There is time when I regret of what’s done and nervous about what will happen. Why did I do that? I should have done this. What if I fail again? I am not good enough.

I used to think money was everything with happiness but I prove that money is the biggest illusion in life that I misunderstood. Now I consider money should be merely a tool, never a purpose. Yet I still think of what if my company stock price decreases? 😁

I used to look for happiness and protection in a relationship. With experiences I become strongly convinced that only a healthy relationship with the self can help me cope with problems; moreover, without healthy relation with my self any relationship with others won’t work well. Yet I still don’t heal from broken heart easily and still think whether or not I will meet someone I can share some simple happiness and shelter with.

I was between life and death situations more than once for some illness before, and so helpless about future. And gradually I realise that death can come anytime even when people are healthy. Yet I still hope I die when I let go of any confusion and live in clarity.

However, there is time when I know that only in the now I can accept everything. In the now I can shed tears with mixture of gratefulness for what’s breaking my heart and blessings of what’s boosting the quality of life. In the now I can smile just by seeing piling laundry waiting for ironing. In the now I can see the canvas is the door of self healing. In the now I can imagine sending a cake full of love for my loved ones who live in many different places, whom I cannot visit with many reasons. In the now I can see shades of real and true happiness in each and every experience from wake up to sleep.

Thank you for the now and now and now that form a strand of pearls called forever.

I live forever until the last now meets with the first now.

Al Fatihah to all of my loved ones across the oceans. I bless you happiness.

Salaam….

back on track, contemplating with colours
do things with love, the definition of love? enjoying good things to the fullest or, in bad time enjoying the process with patience 💝
thank you, Emily for the message 🪶🙏🏽

Harvesting Generation (ranting)

Harvest is to reap
What’s nurtured from the nature.
Good plans might not work.

————————————————————-

Last weekend was one of the merrier offs. Meet up with friends in different places + online conversation with best friends did draw interesting facts about how they apply parenting.

I’m against those who consider children as investment. This mindset is broadly believed where I was raised. This old concept has poorly discouraged many of us to grow as we are.

Many children from my time feel that their success should be to fulfil what their parents want as the investors who often time consider financial support is paramount, not to actually use their own ideal dreams to contribute to society as an individual with their unique ID and personality.

No, I don’t deny how important formal education is for modern human beings. And so financial support -normally from parents in my society- should be highly appreciated by those who enjoy the privilege. Yet the financial support should not make children become economically vulnerable against their parents.

In the other hand children must know parents -assumed as the major or primary support before living independently- get old and need support in their retirement and so those elderly should be well taken care of. This should be a form of respect and responsibility, not an abusively forced task.

Good parents should know it is a responsibility to prepare children to be responsible human beings; good children should know it is a responsibility to support parents in retirement time. 💝

It is not easy to deal with parents who don’t give room or give very thin chance to bridge gaps of many topics. One of the significant result is these children fail managing their own future plans: losing the chance to work in a dreamed place, missing the chance to live abroad, getting married with someone they don’t love or being single for not getting approval to get married with the loved ones, and so on and so forth. I’m one of those 😝

When one best friend said she wanted her son to be so and so but the son shown his rebel, I couldn’t resist myself to not say “Do you remember why you are now still there?”

She laughed and said,”Ok, ok thanks for reminding me. But you are not married. haven’t been a parent, haven’t had children that’s why you can say that easily…..! You would be disappointed if your children grow not up to your expectation. You would never want them to live below your standards. They should be the one materialising parents’ dreams that are missed. What would you say, my dear?”

Damn! She might be right!

However, how would parents expect children to be what the parents failed to be? Don’t they think children will fail to do so as well with the same style of parenting parents copy from grandparents (who failed in the first hand)? 😫

Please forgive me, best friend. Can’t always agree with but respect your stance. If I have children, I won’t lazily apply the dictatorship or transactional relationship. 👍🏽😘

I thank God to be single in this situation although I have smaller hope to “harvest my own next generation”. I’m quite happy that my brothers (and some crazy good friends) allow me to love their children as an open-minded aunt cum good friend when they need to have fun smart discussions. 🥰

May all beings be happy.

the cause of crop failure might be flood, 😫
or draught, or any other reason like…
this and the gang, or….
THIS 😖

Friendly Green

This life, Beloved,
Needs greenery and friendship
To stay beautiful.

————————————————————

Someone can’t truly live without dreams. Dreams make days clear with focus and full of energy, nights calm with focus and full of serenity.

Simple dreams will do; as simple as doing daily gardening on a small courtyard garden and veggies garden around a house that is hosting simple rendezvous of family and good friends, cooking, teaching free language classes and life skill or tips of management or leadership to those who need, traveling light to places friendly to weaker body, sharing how life is so broad and deep with those who care.

Come true. Come true. Come true. 🐣

Wake up! All is still on paper. Go back to work! 😃

May all beings be happy. 💝

Lily, Salt Or Drop of Ocean?

They gild the lily,
Making them salt to the sea.
Ocean in a drop—

———————————————————-

When I was very young, I could desperately envy those who were physically beautiful, intelligently wise and, spiritually mature at the same time. How could people be blessed with such full readiness to face the complex life and completeness to address its various issues? I’m sure I wasn’t alone; many human beings were on the same boat with me.

Yet getting older has helped me not want anything but more consistently feeling comfortable to be my own self and realising that those perfect people only looked perfect because they were perceived through imperfect eyes (my young ones 😉).

Proofs and revelation then taught me acceptance to live with limitation, imperfection and physical flaws. In many ways I’ve seen blessings in me more than the perfect.

Being ordinary has saved me from getting high demands to be a gorgeous woman who should move gracefully in front of the crowd, a pious person who should perform religion disciplinedly or a wise friend who should give good advices when needed anytime. I’m blessed!

Being ordinary has driven me to live with only two goals: to enjoy being my own self and to do what’s best in life to be as much beneficial in my short life. With not much to choose, life is forced to be the integration between persistence and dedication, a commitment of body, mind and soul.

Fortunately being flawed is like an ocean. Ocean is full of beauty especially the deeper the diver is willing to explore; like Captain Nemo who found beauty in the depth of the sea that wasn’t witnessed by those who never traveled in Nautilus. However, thousands of cubics of any possible wastes are also dumped to the vast water: plastics, oil, waste water, many kinds of garbage and probably millions of memories drawn by broken hearts. A perfect beauty full with paradox!

Rumi reminds through one of his verses “You are not a drop in the ocean; you are the entire ocean in a drop”. A perfection in imperfection—

Truly an existence is perfect when with natural flaws and complete acceptance.

Nothing is more blessed than accepting one’s own self and taking care of one along the journey.

Summary of today’s conversation with my best friend 🐣

May all beings be happy 💝

be perfume, even best eyes can’t see but good nose can smell

Hey, Gardeners

Plants greet gardeners,
Life shows generosity.
Optimism springs.

————————————————

Sometimes what she needs is optimising the sight in enjoying spectrums of light reflected through colours around her and rests. Then only a meadow of no feeling…. All can be called whatever it is, she prefers calling it beauty.

She realises rain has brought a lot of happiness to the orchids. It probably contains fertiliser triggering blooms and blossoms. Strong roots, healthy leaves, appearing flower stems, keiki. Thank you.

Nature greets those who’d like to take care of others who also want to survive, even the least of care is repaid.

Salaam….

these what make an amateur gardener stay longer in the shower room – enjoying the beauty of colours and looking down a crowded crossroad
pretty!
pretty!
pretty!
pretty!
pretty!

7

Numbers, Beloved,
Tell you what life has brought in.
Blissful happiness—

————————————————————

7 or pitu in Javanese is an abbreviation of pitulungan that means help, aid, assistance, support in any form in a situation when a Javanese feels helpless and hopeless.

In life I believe whatever enjoyed whether it’s a tiny achievement or accessibility have always been in 3 forms of pitulungan: from my ally, my enemy or from the invisible.

It’s my ally for sure. They will never let me down because when I lose, they will lose as much as or even worse than I do. We’ll work together to achieve our common goals. My family, my friends, my colleagues.

The enemy? Believe it or not, I’ve won a lot of battles with the help from enemy. Unfortunately they never realise that the harm they caused have been the best fuel for me to boost myself to achieve what they’ve never thought would happen with their bad influence and/or actions. My enemy think their strikes against me will ruin me. Oh never, my dear. You throw me bricks, I build a castle!

And the invisible is a never-ending support I’ve received since I was a baby. I was born difficult my mother said. I got sick when I was a girl. I grew in an environment where popularity was the most appreciated; if you were ordinary (although with high quality of quotients), you would not be appreciated. I grew up humble and naive and knew nothing about (dirty) competition. If I’m not protected by the invisible, I would have lost every battle against opportunists and deceivers.

I’m so lucky to be surrounded by 7, pitu-pitulungan, a number the Javanese sacredly celebrate. And the three layers of 7? Definitely mine!

Thanks, 7. You’re not the 7 sins or evil other people consider. You’re not the 7 of bad luck on crap tables.

You’re a 3-layer 7 sent by the Life to protect me forever.

May all beings be happy.

7 feathers

Moment

Moment, Beloved
The breeze before falling rain
Greets the earth. A joy—

—————————————————————

Moment is when an experience gets clicked with all senses, falls on to the right-chosen meanings, stays for a longer time.

Yet each moment should vanish, fade away, blend into pixels of maturity in someone’s life. It will be forgiven, might be forgotten, must be learnt as life lessons. How delicious this life is for those who are willing to appreciate both shade and light. How beautiful life is as it is composed by millions of pixels of different experiences whose essence is memorable.

The more experience, the better? Yes, only when its essence is memorable. Its essence is memorable only when all senses are capturing the experience and reflecting it through lesson learnt. Or else, it is just motion gone with the tick-tock of a clock— not forgiven, not forgotten, no learnt-lesson.

Walking through the lanes around Masjid Sultan, sitting at the verandah of an old shop lot, reading new old-book from Wardah Books, drinking Turkish coffee, sucking the sweetness of kunefe, breathing the air right before the rain, hearing the warm chats from other tables are all motions which are waiting for the moment to disclose beauty before things end. The taste of life!

Weekend is always much appreciated through slow pace, to balance the fast-paced demanding targets that are relevant for a preparation before the next beneficial life journey.

May all beings be happy.

books before coffee, coffee before sugar, sugar before smiles
taken it many many times, still favourite Turkish food of mine
dear Lamp, is anyone living inside of you?

Alaturka Mediterranean and Turkish Restaurant, gonna be back again (and again) 🥇

a pretty corner
eyes everywhere, omnipresent omniscient

Moment To Simply Live

Life pace, Beloved
Chosen wisdom, loved glory
Of everyday life—

————————————————

I wish to retire at 52 and will be a person with not too many layers of identity, being a human being living a slower-paced life, contributing to smaller society and community with my own hands with all my heart and soul, respected as I am I am not as I am who is associated to prominent organizations.

One of good friends reminded me to get prepared for that will definitely be a much different life. There won’t be luxurious facilities enjoyed, privilege given, smiles and hand shake or bow. She says it’s gonna be a true life though loved and respected by those with genuine love and respect. No transactional courtesy, all is about friendship and humanity.

When? Still long time to go but short enough because now I live in a fast-paced life.

Time to prepare.

Once retired, I won’t want to be in contact with those who have respected me because of business or money. They should be eliminated from friendship. They will deserve others who have the capacity.

May all beings be happy. 💝

next one week flower arrangement
enjoy the moment
extended appreciation to those in my heart
someday flowers will be daily life for me, not weekly anymore

Light Weekend

This heart is a pot
With seed buried in its dark,
Growing to the light.

————————————————————

Always believe in the beauty of human’s heart. The darkest of it there is still a dot of light that will brighten one’s life! There must be at least one tiny dot of light.

Believe it. Run free like Bambi playing in peaceful woods.

Enjoy this blessed weekend! Take all light, as light as feather

🐣

Salaam….

Accessible Memories

Deny all what’s not
Is a start where to find me.
Seed to be seedling,
Tree decayed, the decayed soil
Eaten by air. Who am I?

————————————————————

Identity is a consequence of marriage. You marry the country, you’ll be a nationality but what if your passport expires? You marry a company, you become an employee but what if you retire? You marry a career, you are higher and higher but what if you are not promoted? You marry a clique, you become a friend but what if they kick you out?

You marry a person, you become a spouse then a mother then a grandmother, etc. You are a wife only to your husband. You are a mother only to your children. And so on.

What you have married brings you an identity. Layered identity is wrapping you.

You can marry as many as those to earn identity. You can’t be any of them forever and you can’t be with those you marry forever. None of them is permanent; there’s a time for each of them.

Are all those identities you? After living this long, I can confidently say NO.

I thought I was this body, but the body deteriorate. I thought I was the mind, but the mind is so inconsistent. I’m not even this name.

There must be a question inside that you can’t deny, dear Self. Who…. Are…. You?

The answer lies at one point of your cruise. Grab your apparatus and dive in your own deep ocean, Self.

Be alone some time either when alone or among the crowd, and naked in front of your own self. Deny all what’s not and find the truly you.

I love you, my dear self.

💝

Cool, Calm

Curtain of water
Falls down from the sky. Earth says
Thanks for the blessings.

————————————————————

Rain has come almost everyday making the heart comfy and calm. Rain has always strengthened any kinds of dreams about this life. Rain is always the trigger of productivity.

So, never go away, Rain.

Oops! My laundry, my laundry….!

🤪

these boys’ uniform reminds me of my childhood; in rainy days I would ignore umbrella and just ran home pushing the curtain of water 💝 hey, the boys were on the way to school not home that’s why they needed the “umbrella” 🥰

Boundary

Green hedge keeps growing.
It’s beauty and protection,
Keeping bugs away.

————————————————————

Some boundary should be set. Yes, it should. In certain situation it becomes a must.

When I was young, I used to think friendship ought to be taken for granted. This person’s young eyes were not sharp enough to recognise which was pure gold and which was gold-plated. Manipulation was never known by this mental dictionary. All smiles and good words were the same to me, they meant kindness.

After knowing what gold is, now it is clearer who should play in my garden of life a little bit deeper as real friends, those who can safe-keep more information about this precious journey. My smiles and good heart are free of charge for everyone, but beautiful green hedge with a humble strong gate will select who can enter the gate then the front door then living room then library then dining room then kitchen or finally to my bedroom. Not all are allowed to stay in for too long with privileges. Some couriers of messages or packages can only stay for one minute or two for the delivery then off they should go!

Boundary is not necessarily a fort. Beautiful plants around this home should be clearly understood that permission is required for guests to enter the premises.

I know when people don’t want me in their circle and that’s fine. So, I hope people know that my green hedge is the limit. Stepping on the line means violation and security alarm will go off.

Stop there, dear friends. Fix yourself before fixing others. Your experiences are not needed here. 😸

May all beings be happy.

picture from below link

Incredibly Dreamy

Dream is more than true.
It’s alive in different world.
Sail, Dream. Sail to me.

—————————————————

If you’ve got dreams, never kill them no matter how impossible they look, with one condition: they should be good dreams that don’t harm other creatures. Live with the dreams. Ship them to reality with all whispers and prays.

Dreams are standing in queue, waiting for the door to open up to them.

Just like my biryani!

I don’t mind throwing up biryani today. 😁

Salaam….

ya Allah, enak banget! 😂💝
💝
pressure cooker is needed for next cooking 😁
regret of not including the bone! next time better
I love this one! So fragrant and glazed 🥰
boiled basmati rice with some cinnamon bark and Indian bay leaves – I shouldn’t have put the saffron at this stage 🥰
a bit too much yoghurt in, next time better 🥰
herbs and spices, one was left not taken picture the garan masala
basmati rice