You don’t know what love is
Until….
Even when I have lost love that yet never dies, I still don’t know what love is….
And so I’m blessed for not knowing what love is.
🥰
Smile – my mood
With just a smile
You’ll change every single of your day into a joy!
May all beings be happy….
Jazzy evening – my mood
I’m missing you…. from afar
Far from the place
Far from the time
Maybe far from your heart….
But still I’m missing you.
💝
Celebrate your days! – haiku
Celebrate your day!
Every day! For all blessings
Poured down to your life.
Singapore – May 5, 2020 / 00:52
—-
Dear Self,
Every day is counted blessing, none of which is unworthy even if you experience unworthiness.
Never underestimate small detail. A piece of missing puzzle will break a big picture.
Thanks for all the blessed days, dear Life!
May all beings be happy. 🥰
Lady Rain – Sunday evening mood
Gemintang (Stars) – my mood
Stubborn emotion, stubborn feeling
Just see it come and go,
Don’t take it as a burden,
As long as the stars are there,
Just relax….
🥰
What Is New Normal? – haiku
What is new normal?
A set of taboos maybe
Or ancient practice—
Singapore – May 1, 2020 / 20:00
—
I feel an acceptable level of my new normals after two months of flexible work arrangement and no business trip. I wake up almost at the same time everyday – in my old normal I woke up in different time almost everyday because either of my flight, the pick up time or time zones.
I did my groceries very rarely; now regularly and enjoyably! Oh my god, I feel like going picnic in fact just going to either wet market or to Cold Storage 😁
I used to cook only at the weekend or holiday – sometimes not even because I would prefer going to my home country for short trips to meet my family and friends; now I cook literally every single day and I love it!
I did my laundry sometimes if it wasn’t done at the hotel; but now I handwash my clothes twice a week – big fabric like towels and bedsheet will still be thrown to washing machine.
I used to wear casual or sometimes dress for work; now I wear pyjamas, rompers or even just underwear when working as long as there is no conference call for the day!
And my plants have become happier – blooming orchids and growing rhizomes. 🥰
If these are new normals, would it be my normal even after the outbreak is cured? Might not all be….
I wish I have a better life after this circuit breaker and can keep some of the good and enjoyable things as my forever normal.
May all beings be happy.
It’s My Life – my mood
🤩
And Then Her Heart Broke – ranting
And then her heart broke.
Pieces of which are scattered
In this self journey.
Singapore – Apr. 23, 2020 / 22:04
—
You can find many pictures in Pinterest showing how human beings help and love each other but also destroy and hurt each other. Some pictures so touching remind me to childhood friends who have gone from contact list.
As a child I lived with my parents -both civil servants assigned in one remote area in the edge of a teak wood forest in East Java- working to take care of the people’s health in one dry district where we met unexpectedly poor community at that time.
I remember I had schoolmates whose parents were not able to buy them new clothes or school bags. Some students in my school wore shoes only on certain days to keep their shoes last long. Some had to help their parents sell something -snack, toys, kites, anything sellable- after school. Hey! They were laughing every day though. They laughed at their own life story, which I thought not ok to do so.
Sad? Yes, seeing the poverty. But they were happy people although others might think they were not lucky. Maybe that’s why it is easy for me to get stirred to see unfortunate situations as part of childhood memory but at the same time it takes very cheap things to make myself happy as part of lesson learned ☺️
In later age I grew up in a more structured culture, modernised and lack of empathy. I found some people act fake: fake smile, fake friendship, all fake as long as not fake money they were fine. People ground each other to win. Cruel!
Since then I promised to do all best to work in a place that promotes balance between business and people, that enables me to improve people’s welfare.
Once I taught children for free when I was in uni. I joined organisations that helped the underprivileged. I volunteered in free school programs for society. Ideal thing to fight against poverty. Me against the world! Gosh! Why was I so serious?
And now? Me against me! Realising the wicked problem is all within me…. So funny!
May all beings be happy. 🙏🏼
Universe Moves Us – haiku
Universe moves us,
Forcing life between two poles—
Swinging pendulums
Singapore – Apr. 23, 2020 / 18:00
—
We are constantly in motion, tracing lined-up momentum among extreme points in life.
If we think we stand still, that’s a momentum on which we meditate before pushed to the next vector.
A split second stillness,
An infinite balancing.
May all beings be happy.
Have You Seen A Saint? – haiku
Have you seen a saint
Walking on earth with no sin?
Yes? What a non sense!
Singapore – Apr. 23, 2020 / 00:30
—-
No saint—
There is never a saint.
What there is
Is someone whose soul is awakened,
Whose life is eaten away by humanity
Whose heart is shining
Through it.
At least those are saints I believe having lived in human form.
May all beings be happy. 🙏🏼
Is River The Water? – haiku
Is river the water?
Is river the flow? Either’s
Gone, it’ll never show.
Singapore – Apr. 21, 2020 / 23:16
—
What do you know about river?
Water?
Flow?
May all beings be happy. 🙏🏼
link of picture: https://wartawisata.id/2018/06/17/bengawan-solo-mengalir-sampai-jauh-destinasi-sejarah-dan-kekayaan-alam/
When You Miss Someone – haiku
When you miss someone,
Would you call his name, or push
His shadow away?
Singapore – Apr. 18, 2020 / 2020
—
May all beings be happy…. 💝
Buds Are Coming Out – haiku
Buds are coming out.
Orchids bloom when they’re loved. Ah!
Best fertiliser?
Singapore – April 13, 2020 / 18:40
—
Once more my orchids are producing bud stems.Yay!
I believe they are happy seeing me who greets and talks to them everyday now. Once I thought talking or singing to plants was a madness but now I think it is a medicine for madness.
Try it and you’ll find those plants happier by showing you more vibes, flowers or fruits and yourself happier for knowing that you still have friends offline during this remote work.
I wish my orchids get happier and happier and so do I.
May all beings be happy. 🙏🏼
This Cat – my mood
Today I feel like….. this cat.
Fortunately, I need some food then I do some cooking. 🥰
Half Of Me Is Back – haiku
Half of me is back.
What has gone can return by
A state of boredom.
Singapore – April 9, 2020 / 23:03
—
After becoming someone working behind a computer with so little care of household chores, now I’ve found the old me that is almost forgotten. A gem under piles of river stones kind of–
Since this flexible working arrangement I’ve got much more time staying at home with myself and seeing what are interestingly interesting to be done. Not only cooking that’s usually done at the weekend and cleaning the house that’s usually done by a regular cleaner, now I also happily do all my laundry. What’s so special about that?
Hey! For someone like me doing household chores is not only special, it is fantastically incredible! What’s more? I don’t use my washing machine. I HANDWASH ALL MY LAUNDRY!
Why so stupid oops diligent?
Oh, Love…. The handwashing has kept me sane and happy and excited twice in a week. Imagine I will soak the clothes in detergent (note that mine is environment friendly) for some time -I’ll wait patiently- then I will rub off the pieces of clothes one by one -no brush please, it destroys the fabric- trying to clean the folds and joints and the special surfaces -you know what I mean- then rinse them several times with clean water -not only once, I do it up to four times!- then hang or line them to dry. All is by my dear two hands that mostly only dance on keyboards and keypads!!! With love….
I believe this writing will be one of the most historical turning points in life when I flashback reading this blog years later (if still alive)…. 🥰
I am in love with the half of me that’s almost forgotten. I hope I can keep it intact forever.
But handwashing forever? Maybe not…. 😄
Stay safe. Stay healthy. Stay sane.
May all beings be happy…. 🙏🏼
It Is April And – haiku
It is April and
Two of my resolutions
Have wildly unmet.
Singapore – April 4, 2020 / 15:00
—
One of my 2020 resolutions is high price of my company stock price. And in the first quarter I’ve got to accept a bitter fact that it went down to a point that I could not tolerate. It was almost 50% dropped.
I can only hope that it soars up with magical wings slowly and surely. Better future is always the best probability.
The other one is holiday.
There won’t be a short holiday in the first half of the year. September will be without long holiday as there will be more things to cover in the second half of the year after this virus outbreak — if and only if this outbreak is settled by mid of the year.
I can only hope that next year I’ve still got time to have long even longer holiday. Always hoping for the best…. 🥰
This tiny creature called virus has shattered my ego, leaving me a powerless human being with dysfunctional plans and aborted wishes. I don’t blame that virus as they probably naturally live like that. Let’s just make sure that our body is not their nice cozy home to survive.
Thanks, Virus for reminding me to stay humane with all types of broken heart yet to stay alert that the smallest thing can be the most lethal.
I’m sending love to myself and to beloved Coronavirus….
May all beings be happy. 🙏
Simple Victory – haiku
Simple victory
Is completing ironing
After the laundry.
Stay home peacefully – 2020
—-
Excessive happiness always catches me when I can finish all the laundry then iron all of them on the same day!
I’m proud of myself.
May all beings be happy! 🙏🏼
What’s The Best Part – haiku
What’s the best part of
Work from home? Cook my own meal,
Eat it, no complaint.
Singapore – March 23, 2020 / 22:13
—
And the key is NO COMPLAINT 😂🥰
May all beings be happy. 💝
featuring my “chicken opor” 😻
Why Are You Afraid – haiku
Why are you afraid
Of using the word love? Yet
You said “I love cake”.
Singapore – March 20, 2020 / 19:16
—
Some friends asked me why I like using the word “love”. They said I’m too much about love. I’m ok with using that word because word is mutually agreed in society to express emotion and/or idea to each other. So it is either emotion or idea, OR both emotion and idea. So don’t get me wrong…. Not that I’m selling love in clearance sale everywhere but it is just me loving to love many things including what I do….! And, it is never too much to love….. only if you understand.
Some people say:
I love reading
I love apple
I love my country
I love my dress
I love pink
What’s wrong with love?
Are you allergic to love?
Can you feel love?
Maybe you only know lust, not love
Etc
Above sentences with the word love are so normal to me, should be to you if you are normal. 😌
One of my best friends said “word can become sick” – it is when the word is not used because people are afraid of being judged because of using that word; and the way we heal the word is by using it with compassion and not leaving it when we are supposed to use it. If selecting a diction has hampered you from expressing true feeling or idea, you’ve gotta look within because the word feels sick to the human beings who are sick!
If you are afraid of saying I love you to your mom, there might be a twist of emotion in you.
If you think love is only between two people romantically, you’d better start healing your own self because you may be sick…. 😁
Gotta enjoy my wonderful weekend…. with love…. 💝
May all beings be happy…. 🙏🏼🥰
😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻
Song of The Day – my mood
While working from home
You need a real break. This song
Rocks. It’s a Pop though.
😊
Working from home can be fun when it is once in a while. But no office interaction, no traveling, sitting at home in front of your machine for one full month takes not only love to your job as life dedication but also high self discipline that you can only earn with rigorous training. And this time I still need a booster. Music has worked wonder for the past one week especially this song.
Either YouTube or Music in my iPhone has been a real tool to cheer me up. And Rizky Febian, this young talent has made either of them magic!
Today I played this song I don’t know how many times – Heaven knows. If the singer had to sing live, he must have lost his voice and bored to die! 😁
Thanks for making me realise that only love can make me stay with everything — love to people, love to humanity, love to lifelong learning, love to be my own self….
May all beings be happy! 🙏💕
Please Stay Calm, Humans – haiku
Please stay calm, humans.
This state of fear might extend.
Hey! It has an end.
Singapore – March 13, 2020 / 21:00
—-
In current situation I find some real nature of human beings and how they cope with a stressful situation. Some glue themselves to their selfishness by excessively buying stocks of logistics in the name of saving for rainy days, some rant and nag as if whatever the Govt have done is never enough, some keep being as crazy as if nothing happens, some others keep calm, some others become calmer, some others are afraid to death, etc….
So what?
Everyone copes with stress in different way. I don’t blame them for doing what they have done. However, I prefer pushing my happiness to an extreme level. I’m happy and thankful that I’m still healthy and active now. I prefer smiling to as many colleagues/neighbours/passers-by or at least not looking so bitter, being kind to as many people as I can; and most importantly letting myself feel that however worst a situation outside of me will be, I can always go within and find peace and calmness here….
God bless all of us.
May all beings be happy. 🙏🏼
Staying Home Longer – haiku
Staying home longer
Is such a bless. She’s happy.
Thanks, trip postponement.
Singapore – March 11, 2020 / 7:50am
—
My March will be with less packing and unpacking. Two trips to Japan have been postponed until situation is well settled. It means a lot to me: walking more, cooking more, going to gym more, meet-up more, sketching more, reading more, all is more except eating – no eating more!
Sometimes others’ hell can be someone else’s heaven. I’m not happy with the COVID-19 but honestly it has blessed me with awareness of self health and more time to stay home. 🥰
I pray that the situation will be well settled soon.
May all beings be happy….
They Prefer Dying – haiku
They prefer dying
To living with a big heart
Full of guilt and love?
Singapore – March 7, 2020 / 16:00
—-
One of my good friends called me yesterday ranting why I should put unnecessary personal risk by allowing myself to continue business trip to one particular country during this COVID-19 outbreak, while others decided to drop their trips there.
“Rijk, you’re just a statistic. If you die, hundreds will fight for this hot seat. And life goes on without you because you are just a bit of trillions of forgotten memories.”
“I just feel I’m very healthy and I’m gonna be fine.”
“One last reminder: a rose will only be remembered when it dies.”
“You are scaring me? You mean I will die because of the virus?”
“Yes, in a way that you should not be a fool today just to avoid busy end of year. You never know what’s going on. That country will never disclose the real situation. Look! Historically their ancestors preferred ending their life in an irresponsible escapade entitled as honoured suicide to making peace with their own life. They can’t bear guilt or shame. Hey, Rijk remember they might not be able to bear love. So better think twice about your adoration to anything or anyone from that country. Hahahaha….!”
Bloody cold-hearted friend!!!
My head shakes. Should I cancel all my trips to that country?
My heart stands still. I will be fine and I’m going.
May all beings be happy…. 🙏🏼
It’s On My Way Home – haiku
It’s on my way home
There is a road not taken.
Mine is the right one.
Singapore – Mar. 3, 2020 / 17:45
—
There are times I’ve gotta make a choice, the best of mine. Mine is always the right one because there is no correct or incorrect – there are only right and left…. 🤪
Weekend Cooking & Sketching – my mood
Weekend is always fun with cooking my own food. Never say my food is bad. However it is, I’ll eat it and say YUMMY!!!
And of course sketching, writing and walking!!! 🥰
May all beings be happy!
There’s Nothing Too Much – haiku
There’s nothing too much.
It is just you who don’t have
The capacity.
Here now 🥰
—-
Some people underestimate others by saying “that’s too much”. It is not always the case….
Some people say “that’s too much” just because they can’t digest that “too much” with their capacity.
So, if your brilliance gets “that’s too much” comment, step back and look. You’ll find those people’s capacity is way too low and can’t reach your level.
May all beings be happy.
What Should I Do Now? – haiku
What should I do now?
When the brain’s frozen, rotten–
Reset to zero.
Singapore – Feb. 24, 2020 / 7:45pm
—
What will people do when finding that there is one big mistake laying as the base of the whole life? Like when someone finds that the way s/he perceives god has changed…. I can imagine how chaotic his/her life is.
The only thing to do is to reset to zero.
Don’t think,
Don’t judge,
Don’t evaluate,
Don’t ask question.
Just observe any thought or question,
Look into self,
Accept what it is,
Be with yourself,
Embrace who you are.
Karma is a bitch
Yet the worst is when the bitch reminds you for payback.
Don’t let your next life is the repeated, unfinished lessons
That will punish you again and again,
That will make you stupid person again and again.
Better meet the bitch now and pass the test.
May all beings be happy.
Thanks for the picture to: https://www.motaword.com/blog/famous-translators/the-little-prince
Three Cats In One Day – haiku
Three cats in one day
Challenged what sharing’s about:
Sacrifice or deed?
Bali – February 21, 2020 / 22:13
—
Cat seems to be a natural attraction for me, either I’m attracted to them or they are to me. Good thing is cat is sweet and adorable so I (almost) never reject cat.
Today I found at least three cats; six actually but only three were framed through the camera, the rest were too fast to catch or too serene to disturb.
Cat has taught me a lot of thingS especially about how to be relaxed yet of fully alarmed at the same time. My first pet cat, Bob was the best teacher on those two things – hope he is now happy across the bridge seeing me more and more relaxed with my own self. What he did was true sincerity, not a mathematical take and give. Thank you, Bob Kucing!
May all beings be happy.
May all feline be adorable and loved.
🐈
What’s Next? – my mood
And stay humble, dear Self…. 💝
rike jokanan 
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