What is it in memory?
Data
Process them
To build a better program
With a more beneficial function
For brighter output.
Singapore – December 16, 2018 – 4:03pm
Caged Bird – free verse
My father had a black starling.
It loved eating kepok* banana – no, had no choice.
It sang – no, cried
It danced – no, nervous
It entertained our guests – no, tried to escape
It slept peacefully – no, dreamed nightmares days and nights
It did happily – no, a prisoner.
The cage was wires and wood.
We hoped it could talk.
Our family moved
To a much smaller home.
Our starling got neglected
How much I can feel the guilty is like a teary moment to a bloody heart!
The black starling got a home
Bigger:
My mother’s relative.
It loved eating kepok* banana – no, had no choice.
It sang – no, cried
It danced – no, nervous
It entertained our guests – no, tried to escape
It slept peacefully – no, dreamed nightmares days and nights
It did happily – no, a prisoner.
The cage was wires and wood, half we gave to it.
We hoped it could talk.
If you are dead, dear Black Starling,
Be in a peaceful moment.
Fly with your beautiful wings, black and shiny!
Feed your life with all the fresh memories.
Forget all the cages and bars.
Be the air
Be the vapour
Be the atmosphere
Be our silent guidance to the freedom out of this cage.
Thank you for your will to be our prisoner
Thank you for your sincerity to be our exhibition
Thank you for your sacrifice to feed our ego
Thank you for your life to complete our purity.
See you across the bridge.
You’ve met him, right?
Tell him you forgive us.
Yours truly,
Me
Shanghai – Dec. 15, 2018 – 12:05 noon is here
Drunken Master – free verse
A jug of water
Flows down in to many mugs.
Drink, Master. Drink!
Shanghai, Dec. 14, 2018 – 23:49
Picture borrowed from https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080179/
The Theophany of Perfection – Muhyiddin Ibn ‘Arabi
The Theophany of Perfection
Muhyiddin Ibn ‘Arabi
Listen, O dearly beloved!
I am the reality of the world, the centre of the circumference,
I am the parts and the whole.
I am the will established between Heaven and Earth,
I have created perception in you only in order to be the object of My Perception.
If then you perceive Me, you perceive yourself.
But you cannot perceive Me through yourself.
It is through My Eyes that you see Me and see yourself,
Through your eyes you cannot see Me.
Dearly beloved!
I have called you so often and you have not heard Me.
I have shown Myself to you so often and you have not seen Me.
I have made Myself fragrance so often, and you have not smelled Me,
Savorous food, and you have not tasted Me.
Why can you not reach Me through the object you touch
Or breathe Me through sweet perfumes?
Why do you not see Me? Why do you not hear Me?
Why? Why? Why?
For you My delights surpass all other delights,
And the pleasure I procure you surpasses all other pleasures.
For you I am preferable to all other good things,
I am Beauty, I am Grace.
Love Me, love Me alone.
Love yourself in Me, in Me alone.
Attach yourself to Me,
No one is more inward than I.
Others love you for their own sakes,
I love you for yourself.
And you, you flee from Me.
Dearly beloved!
You cannot treat Me fairly,
For if you approach Me,
It is because I have approached you.
I am nearer to you than yourself,
Than your soul, than your breath.
Who among creatures
Would treat you as I do?
I am jealous of you, over you,
I want you to belong to no other,
Not even to yourself.
Be Mine, be for Me as you are in Me,
Though you are not even aware of it.
Dearly beloved!
Let us go toward Union.
And if we find the road
That leads to separation,
We will destroy separation.
Let us go hand in hand.
Let us enter the presence of Truth.
Let It be our judge
And imprint Its seal upon our union
For ever.
Temasek – December 5, 2018 – 20:53 (when I’m sick)
Picture is borrowed from mezquita.html
A Reservoir – haiku
In the dark black night
She is staring at afar
At the reservoir.
Temasek – Dec. 3, 2018 – 11:13pm
Pause
It’s been quite long I haven’t posted anything in this site. Too busy? Or not able to manage the time? Oh my goodness, how life lasts long yet runs so fast that it rolls in like a useless scroll.
Alas!
What will I give to Life?
Nothing?
Ya, nothing as I have nothing.
Yet, I still do things with my nothing.
Life,
Please guide me through my nothingness to the Light at the end of the scroll.
No, not at the end. It is along the scroll…
Glad to be here again….
The Estuary, Temasek – Nov. 30, 2018 – 9:47pm
Seasons
Two or four are they?
Cycling to count the moments–
That never come back.
Temasek – September 10, 2018 – 5:08
Orchid in a spot – haiku
Orchid in a spot
Is reflected on mirror
On both walls, so clear.
Temasek – July 29, 2018
Tersandung Cahaya – pengingat (Indonesian)
Tak akan lepas dari ingatanku kutipan dari seorang guru: Sesama murid dilarang memberikan rapot. Artinya, tidak perlu menilai orang-lain dalam perjalanan ini. Masing-masing memanggul salipnya sendiri, setiap diri menangisi lukanya, beban dan segala derita yang didukungnya sendiri. Tak elok menganggap bebanmu lebih berat dan hebat daripada yang lain — menangis dalam diam menelan tapi tertawa saat ada yang mengajak melihat lebih tajam meminjam mata sesama.
Pun, ketika kau melihat diri sebagai pembawa cahaya.
Lalu kau menilai siapa yang membawa cahaya dan siapa yang membawa kegelapan, kau puja pembawa cahaya (versimu) dan kau sentil pembawa kegelapan (versimu). Aduhai, lalu kau menjadi pengamat gelap-terang. Seakan kau paling gape tentang gelap dan terang-Nya.
Kepahitanmu sendiri tak kau tilik, sedangkan rasa di sekitarmu harus menutup diri supaya tak mengendusnya.
Kebijaksanaanmu bagai puncak ilmu, sedangkan rasa di sekitarmu harus memicingkan mata memahami kebenarannya.
Kehalus-budianmu bagai elusan malaikat, sedangkan rasa di sekitarmu bagai tercucuk duri-duri tajam sakit linu ngilu hingga di dasar jiwa.
Kebahagiaanmu bagai warna pelangi, sedangkan rasa di sekitarmu ketakutan kehilangan warna karena tak mampu mengekspresikan diri secara merdeka.
Tapi kupaham, ini hanya spectrum cahaya.
Biar dipandang sebagai spectrum gelap-Nya. Tiada mengapa….
Aku tinggal di sini, di gelap-Nya supaya dapat menonton yang sedang dikucuri kemenangan akan kesadaran cahaya. Aku ada di kesadaran spectrum lainnya dan aku bahagia. Tiada mengapa….
Kubahagia untuk kalian….
Bagaimana jika nanti kau terkurung gelap?
Bagaimana jika tersandung cahaya?
…. Jika ternyata kau terserimpet cahayamu sendiri?
Mengapa tak pernah kau panggil aku ke rengkuhanmu sebelum kau caci?
…. tak kau sapa aku sebelum kau hakimi?
…. tak kau tanyai sebelum kau namai?
Cahayamu mulai nyerimpet dari awal perjalanan kita.
Terlalu silau lalu menyilapkan.
Terlalu dekat hingga menghanguskan.
Tidak ada sesal di rasaku.
Tidak ada maaf akan kukirimkan,
Sebelum kau dapatkan cerlang dari gelapku.
Biar kubahagiai cahayamu.
Sampai kau temukan spectrum yang bening untuk menengok dirimu sendiri, rasamu sendiri.
Runtuh satu pilarmu.
Kurengkuh diriku sendiri, kupersembahkan pada Kanjeng Nabi. Dalam sunyi.
Lagi, kuingat kata guruku “dilarang memberi rapot pada sesama murid” dan akan kulakukan selama aku dalam spectrum cahaya-Nya.
Duh Gusti, mugi paringo ing margi kaleresan
Kados margining menungso kang manggih kanikmatan
Sanes margining menungso kang paduko la’nati
Shollu ‘alaa Sayyidinaa Muhammad….
Temasek – 13 Mei 2018 – 02:07 pagi
Picture borrowed from Wikipedia.org/wiki/Datei:Spectrum.2400.1800.S.G.png
Bold Petals – haiku
Bold petals of red
Roses among thorns dry out
By the Wind of North.
GH Jakarta — May 8, 2018
How – ranting
I’m almost 50?
Gosh! Am I that near to what is called half a century? it gives me goosebump!
What have I done?
To my beloved parents?
To my beloved sisters?
To my beloved brothers?
To my friends?
To my country?
To humanity?
To….
To myself?
Last month I visited a good friend and found more things about her. She has done so much in her life.
She helped me and her colleagues grow professionally.
She did many things to help people in her industry.
She did so much to her mother especially when her mother was in the deathbed.
She travels to see many places.
She plays piano.
She plays violin.
She plays golf.
She hangs out with friends.
She read spiritual books.
She always comes up with solutions of problems around her.
She dedicates her life to humanity.
She does many many things that I can even only imagine I can do with my mini courage.
Once I told her “My Friend, I think you will not regret your life when you die.”
And she said “You’re right, Rike. I won’t regret my life when I die. I will die happy because I’ve lived happily.”
She said to me, “Be happy. Do something that you have wanted to do but you haven’t. Hey, what about taking music classes?”
Going out from her apartment, I could not stop thinking of what I should do to make my life meaningful for myself and for those I love that I leave when I die.
Life is short and I’ve gotta do something.
Thanks, my Friend for being an inspiration to me.
I will die happy because I’ve lived happily.
Singapore – April 29, 2018 – 02:39
The picture below is of Fifi (the black and white) and Chocho (the ginger), kittens in my Mom’s home. Chocho died of suffering for his back on April 23, 2018 at around 11:15am Jakarta time. Thank you, Chocho for telling me over and over again that you lived happily and died happy. Thank you, my dear kitten. See you across the rainbow bridge….
Faces – haiku
Facets and faces
On diamonds and humans are
Overt covert beauty —
===
Can you see the real things behind the things? You might be able or not but the thing is there you know it or not. Existence is not about the humans’ ability to see through, existence is about that it is there and that’s it. You’ve gotta to reach the fact that you believe what’s true is true, what exists exists without judging what’s true and what exists. My homework for myself.
Temasek – April 28, 2018 – 14:04
Train – haiku
Connected and long,
It moves on a rail towards
A destined station.
===
Like a train, a training is an un-broken chain of programs a trainee should undergo. Trainee shall follow instructions in the assigned modules as guided by the trainer. Alas! Long. Connected. Tested. Goal.
Yet we shall get certified by a licensed party eh?
Singapore – April 27, 2018 – 18:31
Enchanting – haiku
Intense beams of light
Flash in front a locked gate.
Those are enchanting.
Singapore – April 26, 2018 – 00:27
Gratitude – haiku
Wet arrows pour down
To earth, sow blessings and love.
Green and gold grows up.
Ipoh – April 23, 2018 – 22:55
Forget – ranting
I’m a frequent flyer, constantly the whole year. I’ve got good frequent flyer points of course but that’s not what I want to share about my flight.
It is how I deal with it is more interesting…. Or annoying?
I used to be an early riser, now I wake up just on time without having spare time to step my feet on the floor gracefully. I just jump up from the bed and rush to the restroom then prepare my next schedule.
With such a hurry, I forget something sometimes. Sometimes is not a good expression — so, let’s say seldom. No, just take sometimes ‘coz seldom means slightly better quality — it’s not though.
Ok, I forget what?
I have some experience when I forget to wear shoes to fly out of Singapore. For vacation, no shoes is ok except for the cold weather but for business trip…. You don’t have a choice but wearing shoes and if you forget your shoes, you’ve gotta buy them or borrow them from heaven knows who and heaven knows it is shoe shop.
Once I forgot bringing shoes and I decided to buy a pair of sneakers that I now have to wear. It was a good chance for me to know that pig skin can be made for shoes. Pigskin is much softer for suede shoes. With the various colours offered, I had no doubt to buy one pair until the shopkeeper said to me “Ma’am, they are made of pig skin. I suggest you not buy them, just to be safe ‘coz we are Muslim”. What?! Then I bought a pair of polyester-base sneakers. Now I think I should have bought the pigskin thing!
Then another time I forgot to bring shoes again. No choice (again), I had to buy a new pair. This time I went to a shoe shop where many leather base shoes are displayed. No pigskin, no sneakers, only boots and nicely-cut female shoes and sandals. I decided to buy loafers that look very elegant.
I wore them for a two-day meeting and an occasion. I was so happy…. Until I realised that I traveled for a business over the weekend with two different agenda: one for in-house meeting and the other one after the weekend for a field tour. A field tour! Then I couldn’t wear my new shoes. Should I buy another pair again?
Lesson learned: never forget. Never forget your shoes. Never forget your trip purpose. One important thing: never forget that you are forgetful now.
Thanks, God for my being forgetful. I’m happy that I’m forgetful so I can just say “I’m sorry I forgot.” Gosh! Now I know why people forgetting is given allowance to skip some duties.
Whoa! I left my toiletries in the hotel room. I forgot again!
Thanks again, God!
Jakarta – April 22, 2018 – 07:00
Picture borrowed from https://m.ebay.com/itm/Mens-Florsheim-Black-Leather-Tassel-Slip-on-Loafer-Shoes-Sz-7-1-2-D-fw226-/152823959836?_mwBanner=1
On The Way – haiku
He is on the way,
Plucking flowers and berries.
Should they join him now?
Jakarta – April 21, 2018 – 00:14
Vacation – haiku
Sunshine’s in whole year.
A backpack and travel check–
Still in a vacation.
GH Jakarta, 20 April 2018 – 06:33am
Chocho – haiku
He’s a yellow cat,
With a hurt back and couldn’t walk.
Much love is showered.
Chocho is one of two kittens that survive of 4 of Mother Prengil. He got an unknown accident that made him not able to walk and just drag his body. I wish I’d be with him to give him medication.
I’m so sorry, Chocho. 💝
GH Jakarta, April 19 2018 – 23:10
Hotel – haiku
Bed and bath and meal,
Hospitality and warmth
Grow well with homesick.
GH Jakarta – April 18, 2018 – 21:00
Picture borrowed from http://boss.co.id/project/grand-hyatt/
A Broken Brake – haiku
A broken brake
Has made a bike fall to well,
Without rider. Phew!
Temasek – 18 April , 2018 – 03:54am
Picture borrowed from https://victoryforwomen.org/stories/ivy-league-period-girl
Flute – haiku
Breathing out the wind
Through a flute– she is finding
The tide of the sea.
Temasek – April 16, 2018 – 22:15
Picture borrowed from https://flute247.com/yamaha-yfl-221-vs-222-flute-comparison/
Reflection – ranting
Just yesterday I told myself to stop ranting, today I am using the same word “ranting” for my posting title.
Please just consider it a sign that I’ll write longer than haiku, my favorite type of poem.
Ok, so….
I stand in front of mirror everyday, at least twice a day.
And I see the same person, me–
But with different expressions. Sometimes I look ok, sometimes not. Sometimes I look fresher, sometimes dull and duller. Sometimes I look beautiful, sometimes ugly and uglier. But most of all I feel that I can look better than current condition.
Is that normal? Let’s say yes.
The only thing that is not normal is…. How can I say to myself again and again that I can look better than this but then the next day I can feel that I look worse?
Is it because I don’t commit to look better?
Or is it my mind hijacking me?
Whatever.
Let’s do this again: stand in front of the mirror, say to myself “Hey, You. You are you yourself. If you realize that it is yourself, don’t compare yourself to others cause whomever they are you compare yourself with won’t ever reach your level and nor will you to theirs. You have your own pedestal to be you. And they have theirs to be them. Stop feeling more or less. It is you, the best you however you are.”
And, now I’m standing in front of my real reflection.
Does it guarantee I’m a good person?
No…. It is just a ranting old lady. 🙂
Kaohsiung – April 12, 2018 – 19:12
Below is a picture of mine with a giant durian — you’ve gotta see if I am more interesting than the durian hahaha….
Just cluttering – ranting
Sitting in my tiny bedroom, I felt ache in my chest and said to myself, “Damn! How can I have so many things in my little nest? What am I going to build of those rubbish?”
Books, bottles, containers, clothes and other things were scatterred everywhere, on the floor, on the table, at the shelf, on my bed. Once again, what would I make with all of these? Nothing but an old lady hoarding bric-a-brac.
Please stop myself. Please….
“When I’m going to read my book, I’m confused which book I should read first as all the titles show me all the urgencies in life. When I’m going to write on my diary, I forgot which one is the most recent one as there are at least six different books and sketchbooks that I’ve used so far. When I’m going to iron my clothes, I’m confused which one should I work on first as the piling rags are covering my rooms. Oh my gosh!”
I stopped for a while and looked at my hands.
Only two hands….
What have they done in my life? My two hands have done so much but not so much, — too much unnecessary stuff.
….
Take a deep breath.
….
I have been clutterring and need decluttering.
….
Start with one simple thing. My mind.
…. Declutter my mind.
…. Throw away unnecessary things.
…. Just take what is needed, ignore what is not.
…. Stop talking, start doing.
Stop ranting!
Salam.
RA
Temasek – April 11, 2018 – 00:40
Nothing But A Rock – haiku
What’s called history:
Grey yet great. But your eyes caught
Nothing but a rock.
GH Manila – March 19, 2018 – 23:03
Sugar-coated – haiku
Sweet and red and smooth –
Soft, heartwarming cushions: when
Word’s sugarcoated.
Temasek – March 9, 2018 – 11:41am
When people say good words? It is not always that they mean it to the heart. It can be formal communication that can’t be trusted to the core. Yet good word can also be real, sweet, sincere communication when it is true.
Be true. Be true until you become true blue.
Journey – ranting
It is 2018, March! Third month of the 12 months, year is rolling so fast, not long after this it’s gonna be next year. I’m happy that I was given a chance to start 2018 – my fortysomethingth year of life.
In my movie mind I’m a global trotter, walking or running or hitchhiking, taking vehicles. There are a backpack, oh no just a satchel and a small rucksack, a pair of strong yet comfy boots, a hat and wow wow comfy apparel. I have some cash and some plastic money that I can use when needing to spend for food and things. I use Apple Pay anyway.
I’m so far quite a distance from home and still don’t wanna come back. I have some sites to visit. I am in a journey, yes I am. I know where I am going, yet I won’t share with anyone where I’ve been until I reach Finish line. Blogs, vlogs and notes are saved everywhere as I have left fingerprints and footprints there. “Global Trotter was here” is the stamp, seen or unseen. This journey has engraved prayers and wishes on milestones along the path. In rain and shine, I’m not alone yet I’m alone. What a beautiful journey! Thank You.
Where am I going? I know where it is, I just will not tell – it’s a Secret. They told me to be careful of wild boar and snake or tiger and bear or crocodile and quicksand and everything poisonous, dangerous or scary. But I am alive. They reminded me of getting lost or being cheated or getting robbed or kidnapped. But I am safe and sound.
I am on the right path. How do I know? I just know.
I remembered my Mother then made a call clarifying that I was ok and I would proceed. She cried and asked if I would go home soon. I said I am sorry but I have to go. I love you, Goddess of My Life….
I promise to only myself that I will not stop until this journey completes itself. I won’t tell either where I’m heading to. Just don’t worry, I’ll be safe and reach straight home without getting lost because….
…. I have my North Star.
Temasek – March 2, 2018 – 03:05
Picture borrowed from https://www.reference.com/geography/latitude-north-star-5-degrees-above-horizon-8d32bb0c6f9cb1e2
Direction – haiku
Much a do ’bout it
Ripples in a pool have brought
A Star. Guide me please.
I might not involve emotions in my devotion but I mean it. Never ask me to love you coz I don’t. Never force me to long for you coz I don’t. My realm is so much different from yours. Mine is far under the bottomless abyss, yours might be in heaven. Leave me coz I don’t have a promise.
I love myself and that’s just it.
Temasek – March 1, 2018 – 19:57
Something Just Like This – lyrics
Thank you for those who wrote the lyrics and composed the music. It reflects the conversation between my soul and my physical reality. I want something just like this!
For them, I dedicate this plain haiku:
Longing for a song.
I am something just like this.
I accept my this.
===
“Something Just Like This”
(with Coldplay)
I’ve been reading books of old
The legends and the myths
Achilles and his gold
Hercules and his gifts
Spiderman’s control
And Batman with his fists
And clearly I don’t see myself upon that list
But she said, “Where d’you wanna go?
How much you wanna risk?
I’m not looking for somebody
With some superhuman gifts.
Some superhero,
Some fairytale bliss.
Just something I can turn to.
Somebody I can kiss.
I want something just like this.”
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Oh, I want something just like this
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Oh, I want something just like this
I want something just like this
I’ve been reading books of old
The legends and the myths
The testaments they told
The moon and its eclipse
And Superman unrolls
A suit before he lifts
But I’m not the kind of person that it fits
She said, “Where d’you wanna go?
How much you wanna risk?
I’m not looking for somebody
With some superhuman gifts.
Some superhero,
Some fairytale bliss.
Just something I can turn to.
Somebody I can miss.
I want something just like this.
I want something just like this.”
Oh, I want something just like this
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Oh, I want something just like this
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
“Where d’you wanna go?
How much you wanna risk?
I’m not looking for somebody
With some superhuman gifts.
Some superhero,
Some fairytale bliss.
Just something I can turn to.
Somebody I can kiss.
I want something just like this.”
Oh, I want something just like this
Oh, I want something just like this
Oh, I want something just like this
Manusia Sejati – ranting
Setiap manusia adalah pena penggurat cerita: manis, perih. Tulus, berpamrih – itu RAHASIA
Aku Pembaca, bukan Hakim.
=====
Each of human being is a Pen to write stories: sweet ones, sour ones. Sincere or pretended – that’s a SECRET.
I am the Reader, not a Judge.
Shanghai, Feb. 6, 2018 – 23:50
rike jokanan 
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