This breeze blows gently
Sending a dowry of Life
From Love, sincerely.
—————————————————-
Breathe…. It’s what Life has shown that Love still wants to live.
Salaam. 🙏🏼
Love Lives Life
Tag: acceptance
Forever
A strand of white pearls
Harvested in the deep sea
Bedazzles her neck.
————————————————————
There is time when I regret of what’s done and nervous about what will happen. Why did I do that? I should have done this. What if I fail again? I am not good enough.
I used to think money was everything with happiness but I prove that money is the biggest illusion in life that I misunderstood. Now I consider money should be merely a tool, never a purpose. Yet I still think of what if my company stock price decreases? 😁
I used to look for happiness and protection in a relationship. With experiences I become strongly convinced that only a healthy relationship with the self can help me cope with problems; moreover, without healthy relation with my self any relationship with others won’t work well. Yet I still don’t heal from broken heart easily and still think whether or not I will meet someone I can share some simple happiness and shelter with.
I was between life and death situations more than once for some illness before, and so helpless about future. And gradually I realise that death can come anytime even when people are healthy. Yet I still hope I die when I let go of any confusion and live in clarity.
However, there is time when I know that only in the now I can accept everything. In the now I can shed tears with mixture of gratefulness for what’s breaking my heart and blessings of what’s boosting the quality of life. In the now I can smile just by seeing piling laundry waiting for ironing. In the now I can see the canvas is the door of self healing. In the now I can imagine sending a cake full of love for my loved ones who live in many different places, whom I cannot visit with many reasons. In the now I can see shades of real and true happiness in each and every experience from wake up to sleep.
Thank you for the now and now and now that form a strand of pearls called forever.
I live forever until the last now meets with the first now.
Al Fatihah to all of my loved ones across the oceans. I bless you happiness.
Salaam….
Harvesting Generation (ranting)
Harvest is to reap
What’s nurtured from the nature.
Good plans might not work.
————————————————————-
Last weekend was one of the merrier offs. Meet up with friends in different places + online conversation with best friends did draw interesting facts about how they apply parenting.
I’m against those who consider children as investment. This mindset is broadly believed where I was raised. This old concept has poorly discouraged many of us to grow as we are.
Many children from my time feel that their success should be to fulfil what their parents want as the investors who often time consider financial support is paramount, not to actually use their own ideal dreams to contribute to society as an individual with their unique ID and personality.
No, I don’t deny how important formal education is for modern human beings. And so financial support -normally from parents in my society- should be highly appreciated by those who enjoy the privilege. Yet the financial support should not make children become economically vulnerable against their parents.
In the other hand children must know parents -assumed as the major or primary support before living independently- get old and need support in their retirement and so those elderly should be well taken care of. This should be a form of respect and responsibility, not an abusively forced task.
Good parents should know it is a responsibility to prepare children to be responsible human beings; good children should know it is a responsibility to support parents in retirement time. 💝
It is not easy to deal with parents who don’t give room or give very thin chance to bridge gaps of many topics. One of the significant result is these children fail managing their own future plans: losing the chance to work in a dreamed place, missing the chance to live abroad, getting married with someone they don’t love or being single for not getting approval to get married with the loved ones, and so on and so forth. I’m one of those 😝
When one best friend said she wanted her son to be so and so but the son shown his rebel, I couldn’t resist myself to not say “Do you remember why you are now still there?”
She laughed and said,”Ok, ok thanks for reminding me. But you are not married. haven’t been a parent, haven’t had children that’s why you can say that easily…..! You would be disappointed if your children grow not up to your expectation. You would never want them to live below your standards. They should be the one materialising parents’ dreams that are missed. What would you say, my dear?”
Damn! She might be right!
However, how would parents expect children to be what the parents failed to be? Don’t they think children will fail to do so as well with the same style of parenting parents copy from grandparents (who failed in the first hand)? 😫
Please forgive me, best friend. Can’t always agree with but respect your stance. If I have children, I won’t lazily apply the dictatorship or transactional relationship. 👍🏽😘
I thank God to be single in this situation although I have smaller hope to “harvest my own next generation”. I’m quite happy that my brothers (and some crazy good friends) allow me to love their children as an open-minded aunt cum good friend when they need to have fun smart discussions. 🥰
May all beings be happy.
The Estuary
Rivers change their flows,
Meet salt, join tides, become sea
In an estuary.
—————————————————————
Eyes are a lagoon where tears are gliding through to the ocean of realities before evaporating then giving up what’s not serving anymore and turning grief into spirit to achieve the next milestones.
Soul is what’s peeping out through two windows, zooming in and out of what life presents to the self, finding the best view with accuracy and precision to gain clarity.
There won’t be anything wasted. All is flowing, without stopping. Like rivers that keep moving from soft to fast flows before finally joining a vast ever-moving force named the sea.
May all beings be happy. 💝
Sensing Softest Move
A dust falls on lake,
Minute ripples pulse softly.
Sensitivity—
—————————————————————
You’re not exaggerating, Beloved. It is the sensitivity amplified, with the quietness of the mind.
And it is not a disturbance anymore. It is a greeting to remind that you’re not alone.
May all beings be happy.
Picture borrowed from http://photography blogger.net
Beautifully Wounded
She’s dancing freely
Between needles of the rain.
Wounds in a bright soul—
—————————————————————
She loves rain as much as she adores rainy days. It reminds her of millions of water needles sharply in high speed falling on earth, different parts of earth.
Heart rain washing a rainforest is a blessing, flood in Jakarta tortures many stray animals and the underprivileged.
It’s not the pain, Beloved. It’s what’s left after suffering.
Are you still beautiful?
May all beings be happy.
Picture is borrowed from https://wallpaperaccess.com
Friendly Green
This life, Beloved,
Needs greenery and friendship
To stay beautiful.
————————————————————
Someone can’t truly live without dreams. Dreams make days clear with focus and full of energy, nights calm with focus and full of serenity.
Simple dreams will do; as simple as doing daily gardening on a small courtyard garden and veggies garden around a house that is hosting simple rendezvous of family and good friends, cooking, teaching free language classes and life skill or tips of management or leadership to those who need, traveling light to places friendly to weaker body, sharing how life is so broad and deep with those who care.
Come true. Come true. Come true. 🐣
Wake up! All is still on paper. Go back to work! 😃
May all beings be happy. 💝
No Distance Ever Be
Distance, Beloved,
Isn’t how far you’re from me.
It’s how soft the voice
Can reach your heart. These whispers
Slide through the space of the rain.
—————————————————————-
Have a good weekend! 🌱
Lily, Salt Or Drop of Ocean?
They gild the lily,
Making them salt to the sea.
Ocean in a drop—
———————————————————-
When I was very young, I could desperately envy those who were physically beautiful, intelligently wise and, spiritually mature at the same time. How could people be blessed with such full readiness to face the complex life and completeness to address its various issues? I’m sure I wasn’t alone; many human beings were on the same boat with me.
Yet getting older has helped me not want anything but more consistently feeling comfortable to be my own self and realising that those perfect people only looked perfect because they were perceived through imperfect eyes (my young ones 😉).
Proofs and revelation then taught me acceptance to live with limitation, imperfection and physical flaws. In many ways I’ve seen blessings in me more than the perfect.
Being ordinary has saved me from getting high demands to be a gorgeous woman who should move gracefully in front of the crowd, a pious person who should perform religion disciplinedly or a wise friend who should give good advices when needed anytime. I’m blessed!
Being ordinary has driven me to live with only two goals: to enjoy being my own self and to do what’s best in life to be as much beneficial in my short life. With not much to choose, life is forced to be the integration between persistence and dedication, a commitment of body, mind and soul.
Fortunately being flawed is like an ocean. Ocean is full of beauty especially the deeper the diver is willing to explore; like Captain Nemo who found beauty in the depth of the sea that wasn’t witnessed by those who never traveled in Nautilus. However, thousands of cubics of any possible wastes are also dumped to the vast water: plastics, oil, waste water, many kinds of garbage and probably millions of memories drawn by broken hearts. A perfect beauty full with paradox!
Rumi reminds through one of his verses “You are not a drop in the ocean; you are the entire ocean in a drop”. A perfection in imperfection—
Truly an existence is perfect when with natural flaws and complete acceptance.
Nothing is more blessed than accepting one’s own self and taking care of one along the journey.
Summary of today’s conversation with my best friend 🐣
May all beings be happy 💝
Be Willing To Be Reborn
Rebirth, Beloved,
Rose budding after winter,
Welcoming her spring
—————————————————————
A long lost friend texted me yesterday and asked if I could accompany her to buy sari and some Indian accessories for Deepavali Day celebration in the school where she is now working. Of course I made myself available. And we agreed to meet in Little India at 6pm which I missed. We both met at 6:30pm.
This friend was gone as if evaporating in 2017. Contacted, no reply, not even delivered. My last message to her in 2019 was “Are you still alive?”
Out of the blue she texted me using a new number in 2020 “How are you, friend? I miss you. Let’s meet up.” We were supposed to meet in October 2020 but never happened.
It was a cool rendezvous! We browsed the market to find the most beautiful yet the cheapest sets of costumes for the will-be-merry celebration.
At 9pm we decided to enjoy our dinner in one Indian restaurant before going home. And there she told me why she didn’t meet anyone of us. Now I become more and more convinced that the brightest person can have the darkest time in life. Luckily there’s a light at the end of the darkest tunnel if one is willing to move forward, not quitting.
We’ve been born as a human baby; and we can be reborn as anything good if we want to. One of the best is to be reborn as a new hope with good friends around!
The decision is ours.
May all beings be happy. 💝
Breathe The Life
Flow to the ocean,
Swim in the sea of blessings.
Experience life.
—————————————————-
Who doesn’t like good smell? Not necessarily perfume, yet perfume is one most common celebrated fragrance other than food—
While many perfume brands provide the customers with their concoction of scents, there are two prominent brands offering different ways of how they sell their collections.
One brand is making the perfumes following customers’ taste or favourite scents after some discussion. The assistant will go in to their “lab chamber” and go back after a couple of minutes presenting a bottle of perfume as what have been discussed. I love the rose that I chose— some orange as too note with rose in the middle and no base.
Another brand is even more transparently doing it. They spread bottles of many kinds of oil that are categorised in 3 perfume notes: top, middle and base. The customers are free to choose which and how many percents of each of them they want to have in the concoction. To me it’s an interesting experience, making me think of how my scent last: light, heavy, long lasting or not. Once the customers decide, the assistant will go to a lab corner open to the guests. The assistant will measure and weigh how much of those 3 notes are wanted. Customers can talk to her/him and try on the weighed mixture before finally they are ok with the customised fragrance. Some minutes later….
Tada! A bottle of a “perfume signature” is produced!
Another interesting feature: customers are allowed to engrave a 4-to-6-character word on the bottle! For free!
It’s like experiencing “I hear, I know. I see, I remember. I do, I understand.”
Welcome, next week.
Moment To Simply Live
Life pace, Beloved
Chosen wisdom, loved glory
Of everyday life—
————————————————
I wish to retire at 52 and will be a person with not too many layers of identity, being a human being living a slower-paced life, contributing to smaller society and community with my own hands with all my heart and soul, respected as I am I am not as I am who is associated to prominent organizations.
One of good friends reminded me to get prepared for that will definitely be a much different life. There won’t be luxurious facilities enjoyed, privilege given, smiles and hand shake or bow. She says it’s gonna be a true life though loved and respected by those with genuine love and respect. No transactional courtesy, all is about friendship and humanity.
When? Still long time to go but short enough because now I live in a fast-paced life.
Time to prepare.
Once retired, I won’t want to be in contact with those who have respected me because of business or money. They should be eliminated from friendship. They will deserve others who have the capacity.
May all beings be happy. 💝
Happy Journey
Birthday, Beloved,
One step closer to the gate
To a rendezvous
———————————————————-
It’s my mother’s 77th birthday and she looked so happy when I called through my little brother’s phone. A happy day for all of us finding that she’s still happy and healthy in this age.
She’s a lady of the house. She’s respected by family and neighbours because of her kindness. She’s cheated though by the greed. She’s loved by her children at the same time official enemy of all of them at certain time. I personally have a shade of rivalry against her, she did envy me how I would be closed with and always got constant support from my father. 😂
My friends want to be like her but I don’t. I don’t want to be like her because her life was too tough. She was born in a period of war, raised mostly without a father and be given a lot of ups and downs in her personal journey. Lucky that she was married to a humble, kind, hard working man and they became one of the best couples in our humble world.
Happy birthday, Ibu. I wish you happiness. 💝 Long happy life! See you at our dining table on your 78th birthday. 😘😘😘😘😘😘
Lots of love as always,
Your daughter (stubborn yet sweet) 😊
Light Weekend
This heart is a pot
With seed buried in its dark,
Growing to the light.
————————————————————
Always believe in the beauty of human’s heart. The darkest of it there is still a dot of light that will brighten one’s life! There must be at least one tiny dot of light.
Believe it. Run free like Bambi playing in peaceful woods.
Enjoy this blessed weekend! Take all light, as light as feather
🐣
Salaam….
Accessible Memories
Deny all what’s not
Is a start where to find me.
Seed to be seedling,
Tree decayed, the decayed soil
Eaten by air. Who am I?
————————————————————
Identity is a consequence of marriage. You marry the country, you’ll be a nationality but what if your passport expires? You marry a company, you become an employee but what if you retire? You marry a career, you are higher and higher but what if you are not promoted? You marry a clique, you become a friend but what if they kick you out?
You marry a person, you become a spouse then a mother then a grandmother, etc. You are a wife only to your husband. You are a mother only to your children. And so on.
What you have married brings you an identity. Layered identity is wrapping you.
You can marry as many as those to earn identity. You can’t be any of them forever and you can’t be with those you marry forever. None of them is permanent; there’s a time for each of them.
Are all those identities you? After living this long, I can confidently say NO.
I thought I was this body, but the body deteriorate. I thought I was the mind, but the mind is so inconsistent. I’m not even this name.
There must be a question inside that you can’t deny, dear Self. Who…. Are…. You?
The answer lies at one point of your cruise. Grab your apparatus and dive in your own deep ocean, Self.
Be alone some time either when alone or among the crowd, and naked in front of your own self. Deny all what’s not and find the truly you.
I love you, my dear self.
💝
Incredibly Dreamy
Dream is more than true.
It’s alive in different world.
Sail, Dream. Sail to me.
—————————————————
If you’ve got dreams, never kill them no matter how impossible they look, with one condition: they should be good dreams that don’t harm other creatures. Live with the dreams. Ship them to reality with all whispers and prays.
Dreams are standing in queue, waiting for the door to open up to them.
Just like my biryani!
I don’t mind throwing up biryani today. 😁
Salaam….
Sprung
There’s a renewal;
Flowery, fruitage, once more.
Enlightened each day—
————————-————————
Life is like farming. A farmer only sows good seeds, waters the plant, weeds the grass in the field or garden, prunes the leaves or does other things simply to farm.
Whether or not flowers and fruit will appear, it is not in the farmer’s hand.
Remember, dear farmer. Do your best. Not because you want flowers and fruits but because that’s what you can and should do as a farmer.
Hey, maybe learning a little more about seasons and seasoning. The first is for you to manage the farm, the other is for you to make your life tastier.
Salaam…. 💝
Trust
Cool breeze sweeps dry leaves,
Branches stretch to where Wind blows.
Where do you go, Wind?
————————————————————
How can I ignore my own silence? How can I listen to the noise more? It is tiring to leave my own self behind, I’m doing it though. I haven’t trusted my self. 🙃
This mind acts like dry leaves, scrambling frantically just because of cool breeze. Sometimes it moves lazily in panic pulled by strong wind, changing directions every now and then. Lightly and heavily moving because of doubt and fear of failure—
Trust is what can help. Trust that there is a net catching me when I free fall. Trust that there is light at the end of the tunnel although I haven’t seen it yet. Trust that I’m in process, not lost.
Trust is a light word, weighing as heavy as an unmovable mountain.
May all beings be happy. 💝
Shape A Good Heart
Good heart, Beloved,
What blossoms her life. Always.
Bright light in the dark—
————————————————————
Human being with good heart looks weak. Yes. Not always though
Human being with good heart looks stupid. Yes. Not always though
Human being with good heart looks naive. Yes. Not always though
Human being with good heart looks vulnerable. Yes. Not always though
With all those, she’s still seeking all ways to shape a good heart. Failure. Pain. Sadness. Vulnerability. Anger. Disappointment. All those are nothing but chisels sculpting the best figure in the right place at the right time.
Thanks for sending me all those human beings with good heart along this journey.
May all beings be happy.
Salaam….
Life Is Buying Time
Life is eternal.
Strand of dimensions through time
Bargained with good deeds
Also sins. How long? You guess.
Till creation’s obsolete?
————————————————————
September is the month when age becomes major contemplation.
How can I get older yet be more stupid?
There is a consistent concern: that the older I am, the more things I don’t know. This impression grows stronger every year. There is only one getting better: forgetting people’s names. 😎
Will there be a world where I’m not getting older, not getting younger but growing better and brighter? I don’t know….
The convo with this good friend has always left me in deep thoughts about my own self especially in September. Thanks for the chat and good contemplation, Mbak Nungki.
Salam….
Memory
Freshness, Beloved,
Breathing in and out the air
Loaded with blessings—
————————————————————
Beautiful memory is as fresh as tropical fruits.
Define beautiful! That drawing a smile on a face, like you….
Define fresh! That popping up when soul arrives from travel in the morning, like you….
May all beings be happy.
tropical fruits of the week 💝
Walking The Dark
Value, Beloved,
Not only talked; also walked—
White cane of the blind
———————————————————
One teacher said talking and walking the value consistently is one of the safest way of life. Challenging though especially where many are unknown or unfamiliar—
Yet it takes integrity to stay in a value.
“Hey! What about economical value? Political value?“ asked the students.
Teacher said,”When it is about taking advantage from others, we’d better not call it value.”
“What would you call it then?”
“Hmm…. I don’t know, whatever you call it as long as you don’t harm yourself and others.”
“Sometimes those who know don’t know….,” said one student whispering almost no voice.
“Some things just don’t have exact name. They are simply known and felt,”said the teacher in the heart smiling and walking ahead.
Aah! It takes a journey to be a student. It takes a journey to be a teacher. The same journey, different lessons 💝
Salaam…
Who Is The Key
I want to want
I want to not want
I don’t want to want
I don’t want to not want
Which one am I now?
————————————————————
As long as I’m human being, I won’t be able to deny the want and not want. It’s not the verb, it’s the subject. A complication of thinking!
I don’t want to love you but I want to free myself to love one staying in the heart. That’s perfection!
In fact the struggle seems like a perfect circle when two ends collides: things don’t always happen as expected. Then what appears is that the simplicity of acceptance is above perception.
Simplicity is the crown of perfection. 💝
Alhamdulillah….
Wonderland
Good vibes, Beloved,
Contagious and precious
Keep it the longest.
—————————————————————————————————-
Years ago….. One teacher said “You do whatever you want to, but make sure what you do doesn’t harm….” Impatiently student asked,”Harmful to whom?” Teacher didn’t say anything, just pointed to one’s chest then head, and said “Go play and don’t harm yourself or your friends. Have fun, you’re good. You’re good, my child,”
Another teacher would just sang some traditional songs then explained the meaning that were full of wisdom when asked questions. Those silly children would ask so many questions about why religions were many and different, how many gods were there, why the teacher didn’t have religion, why, why, why…..
Another teacher just asked us to eat what one was cooking when we asked questions. We just did and enjoyed the food. It happened when our questions were about what Mr A or Mrs B did this and that for.
More teachers, more experiences…. And we all grew up becoming human beings who approach different things differently or sometimes uniquely although sometimes confusedly. How challenging life is sometimes!
All those learnings happened in the Wonderland! I hope the young get honourable and good teachers as we did before and even better so they build our land into real wonder! Not the most developed in infrastructure, yet with the most developed clear thinking. Not the most modern, yet the most dignified. Not the richest, yet the most caring and loving to the people. What a dream!
God bless my dear Indonesia and what’s in it. 💝
Quests
Dogma, Beloved,
The least she can hold in life.
She is full of quests.
————————————————————
What human beings should think of being sick is it is a tool materialised by Life to make them stop or at least slow down especially from analysing every single thing. Yet human beings often forget that blessing should not be always gift-wrapped in fancy paper with ribbons; it might be sometimes humbly bundled in a sack.
Blimey! Why do I have so many sacks? And poorly unable to untie them successfully 😎
May all beings be happy.
No Secret
Secret, Beloved
Ice cube waiting for warm touch—
Melts and flows: a stream
Of messages from the heart.
Read or heard of. Clean and clear—
———————————————————
No secret, it’s exposure or disclosure in the right place at the right time. I believe life is somewhat designed WYSIWYG for those willing to see life as it is. What you see (should be) is what you get.
Private is about level of security one is living. One day things will be exposed and forgiven or glorified.
Confidential is about secret recipe. One day things will get disclosed and comprehended and copied.
As simple as that. I’ve got no secret hidden. It is just about time for you to know. Either you’ll hate me or hate yourself; OR love me or love yourself for knowing “the secrets”.
May all beings be happy.
It’s All About Becoming
Magic, Beloved,
Not just spells. It’s click and twist
Within time and space.
————————————————————
I thought magic was a split second materialisation of what were wished. Years ago I believed that The Most Powerful would make things in just a blink of an eye. With millions of disclosure and exposure, magical things have become something natural. Everything can be interpreted as miracle as much as it can be considered ordinary.
Magic is a mechanisation in the universe in which processes and timelines cannot be denied. Sooner or later….
May all beings be happy.
Setting
We Are All Prime Numbers
What’s prime number, Love?
Itself and one can divide.
Most intimate love—
—————————————————————
It’s just me and the one.
The one that I’ve always missed with no reason. The one that I’ve perceived but not perceivable. The one that I’ve missed and travelled for but nowhere to find. The one that I’ve felt so intimate but so distant. The one that I’ve cried for but making me smile. The one that I’ve been peaceful with but breaking my heart.
You’re a prime number, Self, one that is greater than one and can only be divided by one and itself. The rest is excluded.
What prime number are you?
Salam…. 💝
Keep Learning!
Words don’t end as words.
They wait for context to be:
Fact? Opinion?
————————————————————
Why should be afraid of using precise words —gathered in a context— clear context of statement, question, request or exclamation if it is to positively convey a message and/or to get expected responses?
I found some people are shy if not afraid of conveying messages because of unsuccessful experiences of getting the messages passed on to the others clearly. They thought the failure was purely theirs. No, not at all!
Know, Self that some people don’t have the tools to comprehend certain messages; it can be because of limitation of language, intelligence, culture, perception, intention, name it…. In fact some others simply don’t want to listen.
When the message isn’t well comprehended, an equivalent response most probably will be delivered, which is unpleasant and/or unclear one.
It is not nice to fail in communication. Only true learners never give up trying. 👍🏽
Communication is about intention as intrinsic factor (make sure it is good) and skill as extrinsic. Both take time to be mature. Yet, in whatever stage of maturity both don’t always collaborate at times.
Hell yeah! I’m talking about myself! Next time better, much better than today’s me.
May all beings be happy.
Master Horse
A horse is running
In a round. To win it not;
To serve the master—
————————————————————————————————
Am I the horse or the master?
If the horse, do I know enough who is my master so that I don’t just gallop whenever anyone other than the master whips me.
If the master, do I know enough how to appropriately engage with the horse and whether or not the horse has endurance for certain round either race or equestrian.
More importantly do I know what’s a horse and what’s a master?
May all beings be happy.
rike jokanan 
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