Tag: blessings

Love

Learning, Poetic
I found love
In your eyes
Only to find it none of yours.
It was mine 
Reflected by mirror
Standing facing me.

This love is light
Shining incandescently 
Within a glass,
It does stay
Yet radiates
To all directions.

Never so much
Simply bright—

—

walking around only to find love 💝

Bed of Tulips

Learning, Poetic
Bed of tulips bloom
Under April’s sun. They smile
Through linen canvas.

—

Monet’s
April 2017, Musee d’Orsy

Hope

Learning, love, Poetic
The sun rises, sets
At two ends to tell the time
To the open eyes.

—

I always become guilty when my nieces say they want to be like me after breaking up romantically. They might think being single is the best choice in that situation, which is true yet nothing is permanent. Don’t be too sure about what you think, that’s what I always tell those young ladies.

The wedding of my niece recently was truly one miracle to witness after so long she thought she would not trust marriage institution. She finally trusts a man, a lucky one as much as my niece is lucky to be married by that funny guy! 💝

Behind the wedding scene one of my nieces approached me and asked me questions and here is the interestingly funny abridged conversation.

N: Auntie, you still hope to get married?

Me: You?

N: You know what happened. I believe mother told you. She said to me you disagreed with my decision.

Me: Of course. You are young. No reason to not getting married.

N: You? Tell me.

Me: I am slightly different.

N: Old?

Me: Yes.

N: Are you abnormal?

Me: Like what?

N: Homosexual.

Me: No.

N: You hate men?

Me: No

N: You are afraid of being poor?

Me: I am not. But I won’t want to be poor.

N: So what makes you single for so long?

Me: The same as you.

N: Trust?

Me: Yes.

N: Do you think I can get my trust back faster than you?

Me: Yes. Look at Dan. It took her only some years to finally getting married.

N: I hope I can.

Me: When you still talk about hope, it means you will get it.

N: But I hope you get married first before I do. Please…

Me: I hope….

N: (she smiled and went to fetch some snack)

Sometimes you’ve gotta show your beloved how much hope you have to make them keep hoping for the best. To me although I have to pretend…. 😝

N: (she got back with some snack on a plate) Do you really hope? It’s been 16 years!

Me: 😂

—

never give up, dear kids — everyone has love to share
there’s always love in hope
💝

Dream Catchers

Learning, love, Poetic
Catch my dreams, my love
The ones I could not.
Share the joy, my love
The one I would enjoy.
Let’s smile together
At the road we’ve taken.

You might have missed some dreams
Caught by your beloved around.
We’re dream catchers
Catching the ones
Delivered by the brightest fireflies.

Happy for good
Joyful forever.

—

i’d always wanted to be a journalist, i can’t for some reason — but she’s the one reaching my dream even much better 💝 god bless you, Dan! 😘

By That I’ve Been Taught

Learning

Tuhan, Aku Berguru Kepadamu

a poem in a song
Tuhan,
aku berguru kepadaMu,
ajarilah bagaimana mendengarkan batu,
membaca suara,
menggenggam angin yang bisu.

Tuhan,
kedunguan memberiku pengertian,
buta mata menganugerahi penglihatan,
kelemahan menyimpan berlimpah kekuatan.

jika aku tahu
terasa betapa tak tahu,
waktu melihat
betapa penuh rahasia gelap
yang dikandung cahaya

Tuhan, aku berguru kepadaMu,
tak tidur di kereta waktu,
lebur dalam ruang,
karena setiap satu mengandung seribu
berguru kepadaMu.

Tuhan,
kuragukan setiap yang kutemu,
kutimba ilmu dari yang paling dungu.


Tuhan,
aku berguru kepadaMu,
gelap dan terang saling menegaskan,
garis batasnya memusnahkan jaraknya,
pada pertentangannya memancarkan kesatuannya.

[Emha Ainun Nadjib, dari majalah Horison edisi Desember 2007]

Par

Learning, Poetic
This tongue says
What belly doesn’t.
Under par, Tongue shouts
Then never stops complaining.
Above par, Belly says
Then waits until the next par.
Is it fondness or fullness
The ruler?
Up to you,
Said the Tongue
Who whines about the taste.

Beloved,
You’ve raised a double agent.

Ha!

—

what an excessively oily aglio olio, said I — but I was sooo happy that I slept earlier 💝

Describing You

Learning, Poetic
You’re a fact
Just untouchable.

You exist
Just indescribable.

You’re not illusion
Just intangible.

You’re one
Just distracting.

You’re near
Just invisible.

You’re far
Just haunting.

You’re minute
Just blocking.

You seem nothing
Just enshrouding.

You’re everything
Just spacing.

You’re not a puzzle
Just enigmatic.

You make me think about you
Just to fail right through.

You’re clear
Just misunderstood.

You
Just
You.

—

you’re my needle in a haystack

Choice of Face

Learning, Poetic
An artist opens her closet.
There are masks piling,
Waiting for the tasks.
One mask, one face
To make a day.

She stares and thinks
One face today
A genuine
A bright
A true
A nice—

A good day.

—

my watch face is Minnie Mouse almost everyday because she makes me a sweet cheerful cartoon! 💝

Numbers

Learning, love, Poetic
I said to angels
Near me,”Tell my love there’s love
In your flapping wings”.

—

I was about to send some pictures containing angel numbers (twin/repeated numbers) to a friend who has been in love with especially 333, 3333, 33333 and all the repeated angel number 3 when realising that that friend was not in the list. Where was she? Maybe she unfollowed me? But why?

When checking in other friends’ lists this person was not there either, both in follower and following ones. Ahhh! Maybe she was deactivating herself?

As I don’t have her mobile number, I checked it with her best friend and he said “Yes, she has done it now and then. You don’t realise sometimes your list shortens? It might be her.”

Ahhh! Ok, ok…. 😊

She’s not lucky. The photos with her angel number are now for you all. 🙏🏼

Salaam.

33333
222

Lessons Learnt (sharing)

Learning, love, Poetic
Lessons? Things unknown,
Still unknown, maybe won’t be,
Solved with acceptance—

—

Oftentimes people make the biggest mistake because they are young, because they are stupid or because they are not clear of what they aim at in life. At least that is what my core circle has agreed.

Many people reject to go for health check earlier only to find that they have really bad health problems too late to manage through life style change— too old or too weak and can only be managed through surgery and/or medication. This happens a lot around me. They would say “I am ok. I am healthy. No symptoms. It is just light headache. It is just small numb. It is just light coughing. It will get better soon. Blahblahblah.” And boom! Big troubles come (almost) late!

Do health check without waiting for intense symptoms. Don’t underestimate a pinch as it can be a punch.

Many people think buying property can be done at later age. They prefer buying cars, branded stuff, etc for the sake of high prestige. They would say “I want to enjoy my single life. I still can live with my parents. Why so hurry? My spouse will buy it for me later. Blahblablah.” And boom! Property price soars high in just some years and those branded stuff investment can’t cover the desired property.

Prioritise property (although at the same time some fancy stuff can’t wait). Of course this is not applicable to the haves who can buy whatever they want.

Certain people overshare for the sake of feeling guilty and trying to explain excessively. I am one of them— once tried to explain why and why just because I was afraid of being judged. And so I shared something that I promised to myself would keep it for VVIP circle of mine. And boom! The humiliation and disrespect that came back to me has made me feel like a biggest moron and worthless in the universe. It is taking time to accept the total stupidity about (blind) love.

Don’t overthink. Don’t overshare even with someone that you love the most if there is no clear foundation.

Aaaahhh!

Life is a school whose next classes can only be entered through a bunch of lessons learnt because of failures and wrong doings which look unforgivable but actually truly forgivable. 😘

There is no right or wrong. What is there is only acceptance and lessons learnt.

Salaam.

—-

make a beautiful string of beads from the lessons learnt; then life is counting wisdom 💝

Freshness

Learning, Poetic
A window shows some
What’s in both sides with freshness
Hidden by curtains.

—

Let’s refresh. Refresh. Refresh.

Salaam.

celebration of freshness through centrepiece of orange and yellow
orange lily
yellow gerbera
orangish red or reddish orange gerbera
what is it? cute beauty!
another cute beauty 😁

Sweet Surprises

Learning, Poetic
Sweet surprises march
Silently following a season
Bringing colours to the sight.
Don’t hold breath,
They stay quite long
To give more space
For wow! and whoa!

—

I think I don’t give my orchids enough attention that I always see the bud rather late— only when they are long enough to stand out.

Sorry….

And thanks much! for giving me surprises after several years not blooming.

Salaam.

i guess she is pink
i guess she is yellow
i guess she is purplish white

Music

Learning, Poetic
Close your eyes tight
If you hate to see me.
You will fall asleep
Peacefully.

Unlucky you,
Beloved.

You cannot block your ears
If you hate my music.
Your earbuds will amplify it
Loudly.

You will get used to it
And die while joyfully humming it.

My music,
My breathing
Will become your music,
Your breathing.

A
Heart
Beats—

—

inspired by QS 15:29

not everyone though

No Regret

Learning, Poetic
One by one they fall,
Petals decompose to soil,
Fertilising life—

—

when i see more fine lines under my eyes, i feel blessed that i am alive up to this age; i wish to live longer with the same amount of love or even more 💝 there is no regret for all are signs and turns to the home 💝

The Mist That Is Erased

Learning
The green of beauty was there 
Until the mist slithers around
And hides what was seen.

Nature is a mystery
Unrolls its scroll slowly
As if not wanting to hurt
The hands with which it is held.

The mist though will be beautiful
Before it is kissed by warm air
That whispers a song singing
“Melt away. Morning thanks you. Day, noon, after and night truly love you.
If space unvoiced between trees scripting can’t connect the dots, only light can do.”

In no time the sun is rising,
Then the mist is missed.

That is how the story begins.

—-

Thanks, Michael for allowing me to repost this picture to illustrate my verses. God bless you.

A Journey into Mist 4

Emergency

Learning, Poetic
Fly, leaf with the wind
Pushing you to where you go
For joy and safety.

—

near the wing, near the emergency exit — both safe area yet the most critical for action, while extremely sleepy; it doesn’t matter, the passenger (in mask) sitting next to me said “let me open it in case of emergency, you may sleep” — what a nice flight: sleeping in a calm flight, guarded by an unknown angel 🙏🏼

Primary Patience

Learning, Poetic
Prime time must be secured,
Said they.
Wait! In what definition?
Time to get mature?
Time to board the flight?
Time to earn TV ads?

Time to be patient.

It’s this time
Yet
No time primarily.

—

At young age I was told that there were 3 types of need: primary, secondary and tertiary in which primary included shelter, clothing and food. Now my primary need increases to 4 with internet connection added. On the same floor of my apartment there are at least 17 wifi links connectible or locked including mine. My mother’s house has been installed with wifi so she can enjoy more information and entertainment, her grandchildren can play games freely when staying overnight, her daughter (me) can work with ease when visiting and (i guess knowing my mother’s (over)generosity) so some next door neighbours’ children can sneak the wifi to browse around from their homes.

While GOOD internet connection is a primary need in some places, it is still secondary in some others. Outside Singapore (even when traveling to Japan) I feel “tortured” by the low speed. In Indonesia (oh people will all have patience as their super power after dealing with the internet connection outside prominent cities) and other South East Asia countries (please, Singapore might be a European country lost among us) good internet connection might be secondary or even tertiary.

Uh and oh are my normal expressions when I spend my holiday or long weekends in my mother’s house. My nephews and nieces who visited me in Singapore has claimed “There is no word “loading” in your home. In here you have to wait for a while because loading is a must process. Be patient. Be patient. Be patient, dear. Hahaha….” 😁

And yes, some work cannot wait but have to wait until I arrive home because internet connection is not yet a primary service every time everywhere.

Salaam….

i told my nephews and nieces to be patient in some situations; yet when dealing with internet connection for work, everything nice about being patient is just a meme to me 😝

Time Is A Fortress

Learning, Poetic
Time is a fortress
Protecting from memories
Of love that once bloomed.

—

i bought a rose to tell myself that some emotions will soon fade away like flowers that wither through time 🥀 especially with very slim memories in store 💝

Weekend Is Coming

Learning, Poetic
Weekend is coming
Completing a full cycle
Between work and rest.

—

when she can’t find Friday late flight and is in Penang, what can she do but enjoying the slow time — griiin!
it’s weekend and work’s done — smiiile!
dinner 🙃
complimentary — arrgh!
it’s the fruit challenge to report today
a friend called “Rike, let’s go durian party! we’ll pick you up at 7” — oh, Penangites! 😁

Hot Party

Learning, Poetic
Met
In a circle
Glowing
In their own lights.
No disco ball,
No loud music,
No expensive wine,
No trendy bar,
No dancing floor,
No smoke,
No things fancy,
No luxury,
None—
Oh!
They are not that innocent.
They gossip those funny facts,
They laugh at each others
And at others,
They munch baskets of food,
They drink gallons of water,
They sip wine to tipsy,
They speak loud and lots,
They enjoy some music,
They gather humbly.
They oopsy WE do it worse
Just differently from other decent parties.
Ordinary we—

—

recent hot party with good friends; thank you, dear humble life 💝

Jewels

Learning, Poetic
Between green and blue
There is this heart.
It adorns this white soul.
They adore each other.
One hums melodies to the other.
The other recites lyrics to the one.
One by one the stones are strung.
A strand, two strands, three strands—
They are jewels that embelish.
They beautify the beauty.

—

RC Gorman’s woman and turquoise

What You Eat Should Calm You

Learning

Thanks, Allah for today! Please ignore my complaints; they are mostly coming as post menstrual signals or ummm when these hormones are truly testing me. 🥰

Thanks for the yummy food and for the good mood.

Salaam.

—

of course the roti canai was bought frozen and i just re-cooked them 😁

Asterix & Obelix (re-read)

Learning

Used to read the Indonesian version of Asterix comics, I become curious of the English one. So I bought one in Surabaya airport and almost completed reading it during flight.

The story is of course the same but interestingly the names attributed to some characters are different. Maybe it is to match with how the names of characters with certain personality traits are described in local language that suits more to the “locally logical thought”. It is almost the same case with “adapted names” in other translated comics (Disney comics, Tintin, etc). I don’t know, am just guessing.

Re-reading this comic has given me so much space to feel that I am not more than a human being that can feel so stressed with just a tip of taste of sadness and need a very light touch of humour to trigger laughter. 😊

Thanks, Grandpa Goscinny and Grandpa Uderzo. 💝

while Asterix and Obelix bear the same names, Obelix’ dog is Dogmatix in the English version — Idefix in Indonesian
the beloved druid who is Panoramix in Indonesian version — Getafix in the English
the beloved bard Assurancetourix in the Indonesian version — Cacofonix in the English
Vitalstatistix is the English version’s name of the chief of the tribe — Abraracourcix in the Indonesian
that village 😁 — Desa Galia in the Indonesian version

Garden

Learning, Poetic
Colours, hues, shades, tints
In a garden strike the eyes
Wandering within.

—

I am on an emergency short leave to visit my mother as my mother is sick. A sister called saying “she doesn’t want to eat”, “she can’t sleep well”, “she doesn’t want to visit her doctor”, “she thinks it is her time”, blahblahblah…. Alamak! Although sometimes we think she can be a drama queen, we start to think seriously when she can’t sleep well.

The second day of my visit she already watered her plants that line along my sister’s narrow garden. She sang along while walking in her house. She ate one big chunk of fast food’s fried chicken that my nephews insisted taken away for her. She has been back to her nature after meeting her children and grandchildren whom she missed who are now laughing with her at every breakfast, lunch and dinner time.

This morning she happily greeted the newspaper lady delivering her favourite “Jawa Pos”, the lady said “good morning, Ibu, you look radiant again”. She also had a short chat with her front neighbour about rain, cats and plants.

I think sometimes you just need to meet someone to be healthy. 💗

Yesterday morning I joined her watering the plants and took pictures of some of the blooms that have always made us all smile.

Salaam.

java tea — we call it “kumis kucing” here
jasmine sambac, everlasting fragrance — her favourite
zinnia, the humble beauty
white bougainvillea, the tough beauty
orchids at the left side of the gate — “your sister is a good gardener, she has made your orchids happily bloom!” she said
the one at the other side
the one squeezed between leaves

A Gift

Learning, Poetic
What can a gift do?
Dance in the heart of friendship,
Rest in the friends’ soul—

—

Kinokuniya has much bigger collection than the bookstore in Changi airport; yet the books I buy for my friends are all from this airport. Is it because my search of books wanted by friends is always ready here? Or is it impulse buying? 😂

It doesn’t matter which one as long as it is for a good friend.

Salaam.

a gift for a friend