Author: rike jokanan

And then her heart broke.
Pieces of which are scattered
In this self journey.

Singapore – Apr. 23, 2020 / 22:04

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You can find many pictures in Pinterest showing how human beings help and love each other but also destroy and hurt each other. Some pictures so touching remind me to childhood friends who have gone from contact list.

As a child I lived with my parents -both civil servants assigned in one remote area in the edge of a teak wood forest in East Java- working to take care of the people’s health in one dry district where we met unexpectedly poor community at that time.

I remember I had schoolmates whose parents were not able to buy them new clothes or school bags. Some students in my school wore shoes only on certain days to keep their shoes last long. Some had to help their parents sell something -snack, toys, kites, anything sellable- after school. Hey! They were laughing every day though. They laughed at their own life story, which I thought not ok to do so.

Sad? Yes, seeing the poverty. But they were happy people although others might think they were not lucky. Maybe that’s why it is easy for me to get stirred to see unfortunate situations as part of childhood memory but at the same time it takes very cheap things to make myself happy as part of lesson learned ☺️

In later age I grew up in a more structured culture, modernised and lack of empathy. I found some people act fake: fake smile, fake friendship, all fake as long as not fake money they were fine. People ground each other to win. Cruel!

Since then I promised to do all best to work in a place that promotes balance between business and people, that enables me to improve people’s welfare.

Once I taught children for free when I was in uni. I joined organisations that helped the underprivileged. I volunteered in free school programs for society. Ideal thing to fight against poverty. Me against the world! Gosh! Why was I so serious?

And now? Me against me! Realising the wicked problem is all within me…. So funny!

May all beings be happy. 🙏🏼

When you miss someone,
Would you call his name, or push
His shadow away?

Singapore – Apr. 18, 2020 / 2020

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May all beings be happy…. 💝

Today I feel like….. this cat.
Fortunately, I need some food then I do some cooking. 🥰

Why are you afraid
Of using the word love? Yet
You said “I love cake”.

Singapore – March 20, 2020 / 19:16

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Some friends asked me why I like using the word “love”. They said I’m too much about love. I’m ok with using that word because word is mutually agreed in society to express emotion and/or idea to each other. So it is either emotion or idea, OR both emotion and idea. So don’t get me wrong…. Not that I’m selling love in clearance sale everywhere but it is just me loving to love many things including what I do….! And, it is never too much to love….. only if you understand.

Some people say:
I love reading
I love apple
I love my country
I love my dress
I love pink
What’s wrong with love?
Are you allergic to love?
Can you feel love?
Maybe you only know lust, not love
Etc

Above sentences with the word love are so normal to me, should be to you if you are normal. 😌

One of my best friends said “word can become sick” – it is when the word is not used because people are afraid of being judged because of using that word; and the way we heal the word is by using it with compassion and not leaving it when we are supposed to use it. If selecting a diction has hampered you from expressing true feeling or idea, you’ve gotta look within because the word feels sick to the human beings who are sick!

If you are afraid of saying I love you to your mom, there might be a twist of emotion in you.

If you think love is only between two people romantically, you’d better start healing your own self because you may be sick…. 😁

Gotta enjoy my wonderful weekend…. with love…. 💝

May all beings be happy…. 🙏🏼🥰

😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻

There’s nothing too much.
It is just you who don’t have
The capacity.

Here now 🥰

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Some people underestimate others by saying “that’s too much”. It is not always the case….

Some people say “that’s too much” just because they can’t digest that “too much” with their capacity.

So, if your brilliance gets “that’s too much” comment, step back and look. You’ll find those people’s capacity is way too low and can’t reach your level.

May all beings be happy.

Three cats in one day
Challenged what sharing’s about:
Sacrifice or deed?

Bali – February 21, 2020 / 22:13

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Cat seems to be a natural attraction for me, either I’m attracted to them or they are to me. Good thing is cat is sweet and adorable so I (almost) never reject cat.

Today I found at least three cats; six actually but only three were framed through the camera, the rest were too fast to catch or too serene to disturb.

Cat has taught me a lot of thingS especially about how to be relaxed yet of fully alarmed at the same time. My first pet cat, Bob was the best teacher on those two things – hope he is now happy across the bridge seeing me more and more relaxed with my own self. What he did was true sincerity, not a mathematical take and give. Thank you, Bob Kucing!

May all beings be happy.
May all feline be adorable and loved.

🐈

Ma’am, you are off spec.
What do you mean, I asked them.
“I’m sorry, just saying.”

Kuala Lumpur – Feb. 18, 2020 / 18:07

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When changing outlook, people will experience many different responses, or nothing at all if they are not either likeable or hatable. Both poles might respond to your change in contrary opinion: if you change in their favour, they will tell you you look better; if you shift away from their taste, they might tell you you could be better. Don’t worry if you are so so, they will ignore you and things go well.

I went to a supplier today and it was another first visit to the site since July when I was still “doing fine” according to their mindset. My colleague already hinted me of what comments I would get from the people from this particular company. She said I would be “audited”.

And, she was right.
Read through my conversation at lunch time – some details are omitted due to its level of sarcasm.

S (Supplier): Hey, Ma’am! Long time no see.
M (M): Hey!
S: What happened to you?
M: Nothing.
S: Your appearance?
M: Why?
S: You are off spec!
M: Am I a kind of laptop now? (laughing bitterly)
S: I mean you look better in previous style. I’m sorry just saying, not criticising.
M: Oh if that’s what you mean….
S: Bro! (calling his colleague who also knows me) What do you think of her? Better in previous or current look? Better previous, right? Right? (the other one smiled in embarrassment and said “before”). See, he said you are better in previous look! Aiyooo! What happened to you? Two people already said this! Why? Why? Why?
M: Thank you for your compliment. But more people said I’m better in current look.

I thanked God I finished my lunch when he interrogated me. If not, I would secretly sprinkle wasabi on his meal. I know he doesn’t eat Japanese food and it would make his day worse with wasabi in curry.

I walked back to the meeting room and still chuckled with the “You are off spec” 😂

Oh Love, I’m suitable working in an electronic company. God bless me…. 🥰😄

People won’t get it.
They don’t have to. Let it flow.
Life’s to experience.

Singapore – Feb. 9, 2020 / 21:11

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When I felt hurt, I would say to someone why he was so mean to me even when I didn’t do harmful things to him. I realised that I was not supposed to say that because he was doing it to protect himself, to serve his need, to love himself. I probably would do what he did in the same situation…. Hmm no, I wouldn’t though ☺️

Though feeling guilty, I won’t apologise because he probably doesn’t need my apology, he probably also understands why some statements bursted in such situation. Or the worst scenario, perhaps he doesn’t even want to have contact with me forever. It doesn’t matter, some people’s cave is just much deeper to reach in. All maybe….

Human beings’ Life is full of ups and downs that are only understood by the individual. Even the closest friends who know him/her won’t totally get it. So why do I have to persuade someone to explain oneself to me? I might not get it either just like my friends don’t get what’s truly my experience.

Dear Self, take a break. I’m tired of fighting. I want to float like all those stuff flowing with the river to the ocean….

May all beings be happy….

Namaste.

Isn’t it easy
To live in a good place where
You’re well protected?

Lower Seletar Reservoir – Feb. 8, 2020 / 9:30am

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I just wanna live happily although fish can’t be fished and entering area is restricted for the sake of my own protection, health and safety.

From my walking track today…