Was madly in love,
Still am…. Realm is the limit.
…. With you, Beloved—
—————————————————————
Where is the end of love journey? Either hopelessness or time 💝
Alfatihah 💕
Madly In Love
Tag: 5-7-5
Fish Of Murky Water
Murky, Beloved,
That pool’s full of mud and smell.
Enough to kill fish—
—————————————————————
There is a proverb in Indonesian “ada udang di balik batu” literally “there are shrimps behind the rocks” that means there is a hidden (fishy) agenda.
I’ve received some invites from “unclear” people in Instagram, most are men that I believe scammers trying to lure a victim whatever they are aiming at from me; maybe as simple as attention or most probably money. And how did I feel? Disturbed? Not at all. Scammers are equivalent with friends with hidden (fishy) agenda— they are sources of entertainment either directly connected or just ignored.
God bless you all scammers. You’ll find a way to get a big money with your work, plus the logical consequences but not from me.
May all beings be happy.
Storytelling
Once upon a time:
A phrase introduced early,
Permanently stayed—
—————————————————————-
When I was a child, adult people around me would tell kinds of stories especially under the full moon, and they always started the tales with once upon a time.
Although knowing that the tales were fictional, we children would still believe that those characters lived at the same time with us, it was just a distance apart, and that the lessons ought to be seriously taken by us— the naive little human beings. We have grown where making mistakes (formulated by moral values) is a shame, we were afraid of becoming those antagonist with unhappy endings in the stories told to us.
Storytelling is powerful indeed. How would I believe that behaving to parents without saying no is paramount in a human being’s life if it was not because of “Malinkundang” tale.
It took me years and years to understand that being well behave can be by saying no to anyone possible; and it was also because of listening to “Malinkundang” from different point of view.
It is at the end the sovereignty that frees human beings from their own toxicity. And it all starts with free questioning and responsible reasoning.
Wisdom isn’t about saying yes or no, it’s about saying yes or no in an appropriate way with respect to self and others.
Hey! I can’t say no to being vegetarian until I run errands and feed my fridge. 😁
Cane And Root
No cane, root can be.
Woods’re a case where food’s stored
Use your axe and fire.
—————————————————————
My fridge had not much for me to cook. There was only green here and there. Alamak! What to do?
Limitation is where creativity waits to be picked. Let’s do the experiment. Just don’t burn the kitchen.
Ahhhh! My roasted potato and pumpkin soup turned to be exactly the same as those served in 5-star restaurant. Really? Might not be but…. Sorry, my tongue comments what my tongue tastes. 😁
Alhamdulillah. May all beings be happy.
Complete Life
Swear me, Beloved,
Taste the life as a package.
Or else you don’t live.
———————————————————-
High blood pressure is my best friend who always visits me after lamb party. It knocks on the door and slips into the bedroom then dances, swirling like a dervish. 😵
Lamb is good and gives me a beautiful headache! A complete package to sleep soundly.
🐑
Alhamdulillah….
My Doors
A door, Beloved,
Reflects a host. Open, shut,
To which wind sources.
Or affects a host? Can be.
Decision and reflection—
————————————————————
Know your door, Beloved. Some winds are good and calming, some strong and disturbing. Not all winds should be welcomed. Close your door if you’re not ready with cleaning and tidying in your home.
😎
These five senses are doors, too.
Welcome, Tuesday! I’m welcoming you with warm heart because you’re a nice wind to this home.
🍃
Dream Team
Dream team is unique—
Bright, with little craziness
To keep all intact.
——————————————————-
This dream team isn’t ideally perfect. The members argue and debate. We confuse and get confused at some turning points before clarity. We can be tired.
It is a perfect fit though for me. We fight for what we believe is right. We silently inspire each other. We don’t fit in others’ squares, are strongly reasonable and on point though. We don’t easily give up. We can accept wide spectrum of ideas and behaviours.
When everyone sings and the composition is clear in hand, no one can deny the unison in a choir. Ya, there is always one Snoopy-ing with its unknown tunes that (believe it or not) always makes other singers happier, more energised and the whole team glued and valued. That is how a dream is shared without discrimination. Snoopy being Snoopy is always needed for laughter and contemplation! That’s my dream team!
I don’t need perfect team because a dream team is not about a group of perfect people with perfect behaviour. It is about a group of imperfect heads with open mind and progressive appreciation sitting together to perfect a common goal to the right direction.
Holiday is going to be over…. Ready to sing again. Let’s wait what is the song and who is willing to be Snoopy-ing next year — ya, take turn, take turn ya…. 😁
May all beings be happy.
Red Leaves
Red leaves, Beloved,
Are red yet the eyes might catch
Different reds. Normal—
————————————————————-
My red is a red no matter how red is mine compared to others’ reds. I respect others’ reds by not questioning their ability to perceive a red. In fact I only care about the reds of those in my inner circle in order to live harmoniously; and, those working together in order to ensure that the red is articulated precisely with no misunderstanding by all work partners.
Alhamdulillah.
May all beings be happy in this Christmas Eve. 💝
MacRitchie National Park
Green, lush forest trail
Where fresh air infuses life
With hopes and good vibes.
————————————————————
Today’s 4-hour walk in MacRitchie National Park gave me full stock of tropical vibes that will last for a year ahead keeping me positively motivated.
Wish there are more and bigger places like this in more countries especially in South East Asia so that people can find sanctuaries to breathe in cleaner tropical air for a while after busily working in populated buildings where air is conditioned or in factories where excessive chemicals are used or made.
Thanks, Singapore for keeping some managed greeneries which keeps the oxygen happily circulated.
🌳
Pulau Ubin
Sail by a bumboat
To linger where nature’s mixed
With preserved good life.
——————————————————-
Finally I visited Pulau Ubin, the only place in Singapore where there are no apartment buildings, malls or highways. It just a kampung (village in Malay language). Cool and green!
Wikipedia: On 3 June 2005, the Singapore Government ordered that all the farmers rearing poultry on the island were to ship them to mainland Singapore and rear them in government-approved farms by 17 June 2005, in the wake of the avian influenza. In exchange, the local inhabitants were offered HDB government housing packages, although they could choose to live on the island. As of 2012, there are only 38 people living on the island.[8]
Wikipedia: Pulau Ubin’s wooden house villages and wooden jetties, relaxed inhabitants, rich and preserved wildlife, abandoned quarries and plantations, and untouched nature make it the last witness of the old kampung Singapore that existed before modern industrial times and large-scale urban development.
Thanks, Singapore for teaching me a lot of paradoxical loads of experiences.
Holiday is real! 🤩
Merry Christmas, Long Weekend
Wish you, Beloved,
Sent with white heart through the air
And short holiday
——————————————————————
Christmas falls on Sunday so it’s replaced with a day off on the following Monday. I take 2 days of special shut-down on 23 and 24 so…. It is a long weekend for 2021’s Christmas. Whoohoo!
As much as missing my family, I don’t have enough gut to go back to Indonesia which still applies 10-day quarantine in Jakarta while I still have to fly to Surabaya before meeting my mother.
“It’s fine, you stay safe there. Take good care of yourself,” said they. That’s enough as blessings to me.
So? Where to go?
Pulau Ubin by bike!
Al Fatihah to all celebrating Christmas and those enjoying holiday! 💕
Some Healthy Days
Fasting, Beloved,
A space where you’re meeting me
To interpret life.
—————————————————————
Fasting is a very common practice for a Javanese. I started at six but saw the real benefits of fasting only at 20’s. At 30’s for around 5 years I skipped recommended fasting due to congested biz trip schedule before finally I realised of losing good healthy days.
Intermittent fasting has helped me a lot with heart health management. There are more benefits though for those who are in either good or bad health. Hundreds of journals and articles about it are easy to browse in the Net.
Side effects? For those not familiar with fasting, they will get lethargic or headaches in the first some days (for me not at all), dried lips (come on, you can put lip balm) or the worst probably people will get cranky when hungry 😁
To a rather romantic person intermittent fasting is a space where one can contemplate about life, love, problem before finally laughing or at least smiling with or without tears finding that everything is not coincidentally met. Everything is systematically designed, reasonably put, no coincident, no accident. And space is where one can see the broken pieces come into a big picture.
Just need a space. I respect your space. 😎
May all beings be happy.
Where Will I Go
Nature, Beloved,
Speaks to you about a path
Where wings be North Star
Which gives signs and directions
Only when you walk.
—————————————————————
Only when you know your destination, Beloved, and are willing to take the walk, all signs, symbols and directions become relevant.
Salaam…. 💝
How To See The Self
Mirror on the wall,
I’m the prettiest of all?
It cracks up. Masks gone—
————————————————————-
Ah, weekends of mid December! Work is slowing down on several days. Weekends feel like starting on Friday morning. I have some longer time to talk to the mirror and find that I’m still there! A hidden innocent rascal nicely sitting behind layers of curtains
Masquerade on break!
🤡👻🤖👽😈👹👺🎭💩🎃👾🤠
🥰
May all beings be happy! 💝
The One
Unclear, Beloved?
You’re still the one. You don’t know?
I think you don’t care.
Such a funny thing. Apart
Yet close. Burst the bubble please.
—————————————————————-
Misunderstood language of life endangers the only link connecting the lover and the beloved: vibrating in silence.
It looks like an internet: the network is there, it simply needs to be connected. It might be hardware or software malfunction? Anyway it’s a matter of choice, fix it or ignore it.
🖖🏼
You, Air
Air— warm, hot or cold
Glides through all cavities
Of bodies for life.
—————————————————————
I want to forget you for the rest of my life and in the next life and the next next next ones but these senses are too intelligent, able to capture the most minuscule amount of signs and symbols that you’re around.
Let me celebrate your noise everyday. Thank you for knocking on all senses doors.
Salaam…. 💝
Thanksgiving
Thanks for everything
Not only abundance, but
Also scarcity.
—————————————————————
Online work mode has made people think creatively to minimize boredom including inserting some fun through dress code in online meetings. This time thanksgiving. Yay!
I’ve read some history and the development of that tradition, not a fans though because I am raised a Javanese who is supposed to thank every day —every moment if possible— with whatever reason. If you don’t have reasons to be grateful, find one.
For being a human being. For being a female. For being one rascal in the family. For being a persistent colleague. For the abundance. For the scarcity. For being me now.
If it is still hard to thank for who you are, Beloved, just be you with the layers of fear, hope and awe.
Thank you! For everything 🐣
Old Rabbits Eat Wisely
Green leaves and grasses
Blanket black soil with freshness.
Good food for rabbits—
————————————————————
Greenery is enjoyed through many ways. Today’s best is chewing the texture and tasting the fragrant freshness.
Year of Tiger is coming soon. Old rabbit should eat more wisely.
May all beings be happy. 💝
Slow Down
Crickets’ night singing,
Fireflies’ lighting will be back
When brain work slows down.
————————————————————-
Night is here, time to rest the grey matter.
Picture borrowed from https://www.nytimes.com
Generous Nature
Lily bulbs come back
Among red leaves in autumn.
Second chance from Her—
—————————————————————-
What is second chance? Once again? Or again and again like lily bulbs that come back every autumn and bloom beautifully until forever ends?
Mother Nature has taught me that mistake doesn’t come with punishment; it comes with lesson to be a better human being, someone who has purer intention and clearer attention. She consistently brings messages about acceptance that no one will be perfect as imperfection is an included package to realise and/or materialise perfection. That welcoming the next good day is doing the best today. That if the next now called tomorrow is here, the second chance has welcome me to be a better me. A me that’s more me than before—
I remember my Kyoto trip in 2014, my first encounter with spider lily. Fascinated, I sat down on the grass for quite long time in front of a temple with my camera until a beautiful Japanese (old) lady stopped by me.
“Hana! Hana! Hana!” She said smiling, with her thumbs pointed to the lily then to my camera.
“Ya! Ya! Ya! Thank you! Beautiful flowers!”
It was a surprise for me. A moment with no preparation. A short act with no anticipation. She just went away with her wise old smile.
That lady was probably sent to me as a second chance to re-define what possibly a Japanese truly looks like as the previous week I didn’t have a good experience with another one in Nagano.
I won’t probably meet with her again, yet enough for me to know that when I’m that age, I’d like to be as friendly and warm as her. 💝
Thank you for everything that comes with second chance, even second chance after my second chance so that in the second second chance I realise that it is my second chance not to be missed.
Al-Fatihah for all those who miss the second chance and those who are waiting for a second chance.
Salaam….
Both pictures are borrowed from https://www.japanvisitor.com/japanese-culture/seasons/higanbana
What Kind of Neighbour Am I?
Dear mango flowers,
Bloom when I’m home, have some fruits.
Let’s visit neighbours.
—————————————————————-
If you do good, your neighbours will be good, too. Really?
Not always. Sometimes however good you are, your neighbours will be not so good. Yet still do good, just give fewer mangoes to them.
Good discount should be given in some special occasions, right?
Hey, Neighbours! 🍀
Younger and Braver
Dry leaves fall or fly
Away from a tree, decay.
Absorbed by the tree—
———————————————————-
What will I tell the younger me if I meet her?
Be you, bravely.
Dream even bigger. No one can stop you without your permission.
One more thing…. You know more than you’ve ever thought, you just don’t see it clearly; adjust the view finder and open your very eyes!
So much love,
The older you 🐣
Love Lives Life
This breeze blows gently
Sending a dowry of Life
From Love, sincerely.
—————————————————-
Breathe…. It’s what Life has shown that Love still wants to live.
Salaam. 🙏🏼
Aromatic Evening
Coffee and cacao
Who won’t love their aroma?
Combined, it’s greater!
————————————————————-
After a full day, I decided to try a recipe that has invited me since forever. Steamed cake – coffee, cacao with a bit of cheese!
I’m not a fans of cheese and coffee but chocolate has been the love of my life since I didn’t even know chocolate was concocted from cacao seeds whose trees were grown in the front yard of Bu Har, the Art teacher in junior high school.
It’s always exciting to find sweet memories in bits of your work.
Tada!
Forever
A strand of white pearls
Harvested in the deep sea
Bedazzles her neck.
————————————————————
There is time when I regret of what’s done and nervous about what will happen. Why did I do that? I should have done this. What if I fail again? I am not good enough.
I used to think money was everything with happiness but I prove that money is the biggest illusion in life that I misunderstood. Now I consider money should be merely a tool, never a purpose. Yet I still think of what if my company stock price decreases? 😁
I used to look for happiness and protection in a relationship. With experiences I become strongly convinced that only a healthy relationship with the self can help me cope with problems; moreover, without healthy relation with my self any relationship with others won’t work well. Yet I still don’t heal from broken heart easily and still think whether or not I will meet someone I can share some simple happiness and shelter with.
I was between life and death situations more than once for some illness before, and so helpless about future. And gradually I realise that death can come anytime even when people are healthy. Yet I still hope I die when I let go of any confusion and live in clarity.
However, there is time when I know that only in the now I can accept everything. In the now I can shed tears with mixture of gratefulness for what’s breaking my heart and blessings of what’s boosting the quality of life. In the now I can smile just by seeing piling laundry waiting for ironing. In the now I can see the canvas is the door of self healing. In the now I can imagine sending a cake full of love for my loved ones who live in many different places, whom I cannot visit with many reasons. In the now I can see shades of real and true happiness in each and every experience from wake up to sleep.
Thank you for the now and now and now that form a strand of pearls called forever.
I live forever until the last now meets with the first now.
Al Fatihah to all of my loved ones across the oceans. I bless you happiness.
Salaam….
Healing Roots
Trace back history
Deeply buried in the dark.
Strong trees start from roots.
————————————————————-
History of life. History of family. History of country. History of a nation. History of a continent. History of the world. History of human beings. History of the universe.
Whose stories?
History is written by the victors, said Winston Churchill. Is that right? It might be, politically.
She’d love to understand histories from those who have experienced life journey with heart and soul.
No right or wrong
May all beings be happy.
Rain of Lights
Lunar and field lights.
One beams, the other ones glare.
Runners run in peace.
—————————————————————
Harvesting Generation (ranting)
Harvest is to reap
What’s nurtured from the nature.
Good plans might not work.
————————————————————-
Last weekend was one of the merrier offs. Meet up with friends in different places + online conversation with best friends did draw interesting facts about how they apply parenting.
I’m against those who consider children as investment. This mindset is broadly believed where I was raised. This old concept has poorly discouraged many of us to grow as we are.
Many children from my time feel that their success should be to fulfil what their parents want as the investors who often time consider financial support is paramount, not to actually use their own ideal dreams to contribute to society as an individual with their unique ID and personality.
No, I don’t deny how important formal education is for modern human beings. And so financial support -normally from parents in my society- should be highly appreciated by those who enjoy the privilege. Yet the financial support should not make children become economically vulnerable against their parents.
In the other hand children must know parents -assumed as the major or primary support before living independently- get old and need support in their retirement and so those elderly should be well taken care of. This should be a form of respect and responsibility, not an abusively forced task.
Good parents should know it is a responsibility to prepare children to be responsible human beings; good children should know it is a responsibility to support parents in retirement time. 💝
It is not easy to deal with parents who don’t give room or give very thin chance to bridge gaps of many topics. One of the significant result is these children fail managing their own future plans: losing the chance to work in a dreamed place, missing the chance to live abroad, getting married with someone they don’t love or being single for not getting approval to get married with the loved ones, and so on and so forth. I’m one of those 😝
When one best friend said she wanted her son to be so and so but the son shown his rebel, I couldn’t resist myself to not say “Do you remember why you are now still there?”
She laughed and said,”Ok, ok thanks for reminding me. But you are not married. haven’t been a parent, haven’t had children that’s why you can say that easily…..! You would be disappointed if your children grow not up to your expectation. You would never want them to live below your standards. They should be the one materialising parents’ dreams that are missed. What would you say, my dear?”
Damn! She might be right!
However, how would parents expect children to be what the parents failed to be? Don’t they think children will fail to do so as well with the same style of parenting parents copy from grandparents (who failed in the first hand)? 😫
Please forgive me, best friend. Can’t always agree with but respect your stance. If I have children, I won’t lazily apply the dictatorship or transactional relationship. 👍🏽😘
I thank God to be single in this situation although I have smaller hope to “harvest my own next generation”. I’m quite happy that my brothers (and some crazy good friends) allow me to love their children as an open-minded aunt cum good friend when they need to have fun smart discussions. 🥰
May all beings be happy.
The Beach Breeze
Covered with white sand,
A beach lies behind mountains.
The breeze that is missed—
—————————————————————
Unfolding map of South East Asia, getting travel gears with excitement
South East Asia, a truly loved place of mine where human beings are created humble and friendly in nature. Nature, please always make us that way. 💝
Salaam….
The Estuary
Rivers change their flows,
Meet salt, join tides, become sea
In an estuary.
—————————————————————
Eyes are a lagoon where tears are gliding through to the ocean of realities before evaporating then giving up what’s not serving anymore and turning grief into spirit to achieve the next milestones.
Soul is what’s peeping out through two windows, zooming in and out of what life presents to the self, finding the best view with accuracy and precision to gain clarity.
There won’t be anything wasted. All is flowing, without stopping. Like rivers that keep moving from soft to fast flows before finally joining a vast ever-moving force named the sea.
May all beings be happy. 💝
rike jokanan 
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