Tag: acceptance

Sweet Surprise

Learning, life, Poetic
Unforeseen, unplannedβ€”
Life’s rich: men, events, chances
Bring moments of truth.

β€”

This evening I met up with two Saigonese friendsβ€” not planned, not predicted. We sent each other messages and found that we three were in Hanoi and decided to have dinner together.

OP’s coffee with milk, LP’s coconut coffee, my black coffee πŸ₯°

His message to me: β€œI’ll pick you up once you’re prepared”. Her message to me: β€œLet me know when you arrive at hotel, I’ll kidnap you”. And they both came in the same taxi with different intension. 😁

For years we have always wanted to meet in Ho Chi Minh City to eat south pho bo and life preferred pulling us together in Hanoi for north pho bo.

Hanoi pho – sweeter, no ngogai leaves (Javanese coriander) and slightly murky, good especially enjoyed with friends 😍

A happy rendezvous! All was good. The only minus was that I had much noodle as part of dinner. πŸ™ƒ See you in HCMC!

I hope to get other sweet surprises. Or at least I commit to feel good no matter what so any surprises will be sweet.

Salaam.

sweet surprise story shared to me: he was a medical doctor before a major accident that took away some of his physical ability and his job; now he is a part time historian bringing tourists to historical places in Hanoi in the evening and a full time employee in a pharmaceutical company in the day; recently he escorted a surgeon with his wife doing social work in Vietnam who happens to be in the same project with a Vietnamese surgeon who happens to be this historian’s roommate in medical school years ago; long story short what life brings is often unpredictable, hope for the best! πŸ™πŸΌ

Breathing

Learning, Poetic
Breathing, Beloved,
Dive with it slowly, knowing
It can blaze and burn.

β€”

So much swarmed in mind today. This brain was so busy processing unclear things that it could not process what truly happened within. All dots of thoughts felt like molecules bumping with and crashing each other in Brownian motion. The internal Brownian motion expanded externally and bad mood caused physical discomfort.

For around 12 hours the bad mood and physical discomfort was densely lingering. Reading, cooking, eating, drawing, writing, washing, watching YouTube, listening music, checking suitcase for next trip, taking shower, even sleeping didn’t help stabilise the emotion. Alamak I didn’t understand what was going on.

At dusk time I took a seat in one bedroom corner, closed eyes and paid attention to breathing. Very fastβ€” it was not my normal breathing speed. Then trapped emotions were found: unexplainable insecurity and anger. After around 30 minutes normalising my breathing speed, the bad mood was totally gone.

I’m sorry for ignoring you, breathing. It can’t be denied that my physical has given me signs of what happened inside. This physical has always reminded me about what emotions are dominating. The dominating emotion indicates what energy is attracted β€” positive or negative. Don’t ignore signs given by body; not even once!

Lesson learnt: Some dominating stuffs don’t deserve priority. Severe weather, bitter messages, false news β€”even if affecting meβ€” deserve to be smacked down! Don’t try me, bitch(es)! πŸ˜„

New week is gonna be nice! πŸ€“

Alfatihah.

another daruma sent as birthday gift with a script β€œfall down seven times, stand up eight”

Mood

Learning, Poetic
Bad mood is hunger
Draining mind and tainting heart.
Can food heal the pain?

β€”

Certain type of bad mood doesn’t go away easily. It can sit silently consuming emotion for almost 12 hours. Some can be cured with food, some can’t. We still need food anyway.

Unfortunately no one is responsible as the cause, it popped out just like that with the falling rain; yet the self is responsible to get through it patiently.

😌

from this – kepok banana –
both birds and humans love it
to this for late lunch – failed to quiet the mind
from this – Ipoh pomelo, the best one on earth
to this for early dinner – at least cooling the heat in heart gradually

Leaving The Thrones

Learning, Poetic

I dive
Every night
To where you are
And see no one
As
You are diving
To where I’ve left my throne.

When I’m back,
You’re back
To where you”ve left yours.

If we know the hours of each others’ departures,
We’ll meet at the crossroads
Where what’s left behind
Is forgiven, not forgotten

Tonight.

β€”

daruma tea canister where I wrote my wish to happen, leaving an unnecessarily thrones behind; ego is the strongest block, leave it!

Gifts to You

Learning, love, Poetic, This Person, Those People
These gifts, Beloved,
Peace and love hummed to loved ones
Living here and thereβ€”

β€”

One of the Javanese and Islamic teachings that I will never leave for the rest of my life is sending gift of prayer containing peace and love to my loved ones wherever they are, whether they are physically wandering on earth or spiritually gathering around life.

I believe that my passing-away ancestors are living in different levels of consciousness (call it hell, heaven or somewhere in between up to your liking) and they are watching their offsprings without being able to directly communicating with us. They deserve my gift as they have been my line to get the chance to be here now. They deserve peace and love as they have done the best they could to draw a meaningful family tree. Yes, some might have made silly mistakes but hey that’s what Buddhism calls β€œkarma”. Yes, some might have caused shameful stains on the family picture but hey that’s what Islam calls β€œalam syahadah”. Whoever and whatever they were, all of my ancestors deserve good wishes sung to them.

I also wish peace and love to those I love still breathing the air. Wishing all of them health and happiness. πŸ’

We Javanese Muslim will send gift by reciting some Javanese prayer closed with Alfatihah, a short chapter in the Quran containing peace, love, praise, forgiving, protection and guidance. A basket of beautiful wishesβ€”

How light this heart is to be sure that all whom I love are well.

Alfatihah to all whom I love. You’re loved. You’re blessed. Don’t shop too much. 😁

Happy weekend!

born as part of a nation doesn’t make someone higher or lower – being born a Javanese, Aborigine, African, Arab, Chinese, English, Indian, Japanese, Korean, Sundanese, Vietnamese or whatever is a gifted tool to contribute the best quality of culture in sustaining and respecting humanity – respect yourself, respect other human beings πŸ’•
if not respected (by you), your origin will be a boomerang (spun around hitting you) – be grateful for being born as you are, never wasted, fully loved, surrounded by beloved only if you accept who you are πŸ’•

Pleasure

Learning, Poetic
Pleasure, Beloved,
Sweet moment under the rainβ€”
Sunshine is peeping.

β€”

Today’s biking started at 6:30am and ended at 7:15am as the rain began earlier – weather forecast reported rain would fall at around 8am. We decided to fold the bikes in my home then drive to β€œKueh & Mee” for breakfast.

Conversation is never boring with this good friend. Any topics about her children are my favourite as those children give me inspiration to be always young in heart how old ever I am and optimistic about life how much low my mental is. Topic about her wanting to go back to work is never nice because that’s when she questions if she is capable of doing this or that; while she is one of intelligent friends I have β€”- she is an excellent chemist who lets her expertise hibernate and allows her husband to lead a brilliant professional success.

After today’s chatty laughing breakfast, she went home then picked up her husband in Changi Airport, arriving from a biz trip. A long list of tasks were still waiting for her, making me lose reasons to complain about life.

She is one of my favourite people inspiring me with their being ordinary the way they are.

Thank you, Mbak Eva! God bless you. πŸ₯°

one of Indonesian guilty pleasure, lupis πŸ€“
kopi tarik kosong (Indonesian/Malay pulled coffee with no sugar) + an empty paper cup of (eaten) hard boiled eggs

Heart

Learning, Poetic
Warm heart, Beloved,
Where flowers bloom in hot day,
Roots enjoy divingβ€”

β€”

I cooked cow heart for lunch. The taste of the heart was more special than before. Perhaps it was because I hadn’t eaten cow heart for more than 2 years. Or the heart was owned by a kind cow. πŸ˜‚

The dish reminded me of a joke among my circle.

A: Why don’t you eat beef?
B: How would you eat that whose eyes are so beautiful. They must have good heart!
A: But why do you pork?
B: &@$@?! Why don’t you eat pork?
A: How would you eat that whose look is so cute like Ms Piggy. Their heart must be romantic!

Weekend is almost here! Let’s enjoy it with warm heart!

πŸ’•

don’t β€œeat your own heart”, eat cow’s 😎 home cooking isn’t always healthful but it’s always clean 😍

Guessing

Learning, love, Map It!
Guessing, Beloved,
The least inaccurate points
Of mangosteen seedsβ€”

β€”

lovely sweet manggis (mangosteen in English) – no child at my time disliked this fruit, to eat and to play guessing game – we children liked to go to Nasikah’s house to enjoy free mangosteens in harvest time 😍
how many seeds are inside? 5? 6? 6 of 1 big, 4 medium and 1 small!
inaccurate! it’s 5 of 1 big, 3 medium, 1 small! πŸ˜†

That’s what we call β€œtebak buah manggis”, guessing game to decide whether the number of sections at the bottom of the fruit accurately matches the number of seeds inside. Mostly matching, yet this time it is not! πŸ˜† Life is sometimes unpredictable even with good database; anomaly is a rule whose patterns are not yet formulatable oops formulated by human beings β€” please excuse my English, I’m not a native. πŸ™ƒ

Like someone we love. We thought they are 6, in fact they are 5.

Fair enough to say: seldom expect accuracy in estimation; better be sufficiently into the least inaccuracy so it won’t drop one down to abyss when finding inaccurate things. I’m trying to be wise as myself for myself about myself. πŸ₯°

Oh dear, mangosteens!

Not About Others

Learning, Poetic
It is about me
Myself, not about others.
Jump. Spread these wings. Fly.

β€”

one of the girls was (like) me in my high school choir 😝 it’s hilarious to remember how our teacher shouted β€œarticulate well! articulate clearly! mouth wide open! breathe correctly! don’t laugh! sing!β€πŸ˜‚πŸ˜˜πŸ˜‚

Moses and The Shepherd

Learning, Poetic
In you, Beloved,
There’s Moses and The Shepherd.
Transfigurationβ€”

β€”

Like it or not, both are within.

Salaam.

are you Moses or The Shepherd?

πŸ€”

where are you Moses? where The Shepherd?

🀩

もしもし、this’s Moses and The Shepherd shape-shifting….

😁

Payday

Learning, life, Poetic
Payday, Beloved,
Crossroads to 4 directionsβ€”
6 o’clock, good bye!

β€”

Ah yes! I’ve been paid with how a group of people feel proud of achieving what they thought would never happen for my persistence and never-ending-annoying questions and reminders. I’ve been paid with sweet smiles for greeting the cleaning ladies and security guards and colleagues and neighbours. I’ve been paid with my family and friends’ laughter for the jokes that were not even funny. I’ve been paid with my colleagues’ flooding emoji for my β€œdrunken” fingers sending auto-correct silliness. I’ve been paid by many many of those I’ve never thought of making me so light hearted more than dollars and cents.

Hey! Don’t get me wrong! I’ve also been paid with bitter rejections and secret smirks for what I did wrongLY and/or I did inappropriateLY.

And hey! I’ve also been actually paid with wages and benefits for working in a company.

Everything is worth paying and everyday is a payday.

Never look back to what was wrongly spent, that’s my payday commitment!

Ah how I love my payday!

Of course! Who’s not?

May all beings be happy.

the best day is always today when life is at its best β€” believe me I’m not always right πŸ˜‚

What Are You

Learning, Poetic
Behind what’s seen,
What are you, Beloved?

Root of a tree
Who grows in in the dark,
Breathes with the creepy crawly,
Sleeps in none of seasons.
Silently grateful for
What’s not understood.

Cartilage of a human body
Who is not hard enough to be bone,
Not soft enough to be muscle,
Comfortably sits in between,
Catches messages delivered
By whisper, breeze and wind.

Jasmine sambac of the garden
Who is humbly tiny, clustering;
Blooms the whole year,
Leaves much fragrance to the day,
Deep meaning to celebration
Before she dries brown.

Helium of the sun
Light, low, odourless, tasteless, insipidβ€”
It’s peaceful to be low profile,
It’s more joyful and freer,
It’s easier to be me,
Closer to Gaia.

Yet no secret bandit among
The rascals in the block!

What?!

What what?!
Don’t ask. I can be anything
But
You.

β€”

Rainy weekend is good especially when just have to shortly reply β€œOk!” to a message saying β€œHeavy rain. Impossible to bike. Rain check ya.”

πŸ’

πŸ₯° can watch this forever! lovable rascals!

A Bridge

Learning, life, Poetic
A bridge, Beloved,
Transitioning melody
Between two islandsβ€”

β€”

It takes logical thinking to bridge the gaps β€” where she is, where she wants to be. And, honesty is the right logic to know how to get from one state to another.

?

Can anyone be dishonest to one’s self? Yes? How long? Long enough to sink before reaching the destination.

May all beings be happy.

Penang’s second bridge (Sultan Abdul Halim Muadzam Shah Bridge) – shortest way from Pulau Pinang to Batu Kawan

Playground

Learning, Map It!, Poetic
Playground, Beloved,
Where crickets find the shelters,
Light heart run aroundβ€”

β€”

Back to my playground β€” am I the crickets hiding from the stomping feet of the children playing? Or the the light-hearted children stomping their feet around?

Comfort comes in different ways to different people.

May all beings be happy.

Pulau Jerejak, a name in the bucket list forever and never getting approval for a visit from anyone meeting me in Malaysia β€” I’m sometimes a cricket in this playground πŸ€“

Feeling

Learning, love, Poetic
Feeling, Beloved,
Sparks from a crater deep down
Show that it’s alive-

β€”

Mikha’s voice! πŸ’

Listen

Learning, Poetic
It rings, Beloved,
Sweeping doubts, blooming glory.
The white loud whisperβ€”

β€”

listen to inner voice πŸ’ you can, only if you are willing to

Prime Time

Learning, Poetic
Prime time, Beloved,
The best time to bloom or dry.
Not her decisionβ€”

β€”

David and Goliath were enough lesson to learn that prime time isn’t always at one’s physical prime.

May all beings be happy

πŸ’

lost one bud because of the wind in the prime time πŸ₯°
her prime time is to tell the world that there is a phase called β€œearly departure” πŸ₯°
her prime time is when Mother Nature called her to appear when her friend dried out πŸ₯°

Falling Stars

Learning, Poetic
Middle sphere burns up
Rocks and debris falling fast.
Beautiful hazardsβ€”

β€”

Wisdom seeds start as human’s observation evaluated then get compiled as natural science then grow as knowledge then ripen as insight before finally be harvested as fruit called wisdom.

If she misses the points of natural phenomenon, she misses the point about her own self. And that’s almost everyday, missing many many points.

Read! Wisdom is scripted everywhere. Laugh! Her reading though is not always right. 😊

May all beings be happy.

make a wish!

Prime Crime

Learning, Map It!, Poetic
Partners in crime, Love
Sail from torii to torii.
A ship of good friendsβ€”

β€”

Fushimi Inari Taisha, our favourite shrine has its duplicate in Singapore 😘 being with partner in crime is always prime time πŸ˜‚ thank you!

Poem, Beloved and I

Learning, love, Poetic
Time is paper
With which poems are unrolled.

My beloved said
You need pens, I give you trees.
You need ink, I give you oceans.
Write love poems with love
Until you run out of paper.

I said
I need much paper
I want as much as I want
My love poems are trillions and more.

My beloved said
I won’t let you write forever
The last paper is not for you
It is for me to invite poets for a party
Where a special spread is ready.

I asked
How much paper will I get
Will you give me as much as I want
Will you let me write trillions of love poems?

My beloved said
Write as much as you want
I’ll give you as much as you write
You’ll get your paper for your trillions
As long as they’re yours.

My beloved said
Be dignified, write your own poems,
As the spread will be only for those
Not claiming from others’ names.

β€”

big lunch, mini spread for my hard work today – my parents’ message about how to enjoy luxury of life: be dignified to
β€œeat” what you’ve worked and share with love πŸ™πŸΌ

Little Bird

Learning, love, Map It!, Poetic, This Person
Little bird, dear love,
Telling her to soar then go home
To where her heart isβ€”

β€”

Home. Is it a what, a who, a whom, a whose, a which, a when, a where or a how? She knows hers and it doesn’t always the same as others’. πŸ’

shared rice with a little bird in Cointrin Airport before boarding for Amsterdam then home – a trip worth doing she should repeat πŸ₯° …

Nuance

Learning, love, Poetic
Nuance, Beloved,
Painting one heart in two hues;
Comparing two timesβ€”

β€”

Some songs like poem will stay in my heart and won’t die. One of them is Dewa’s Kangen.

Never getting bored of listening to itβ€” Weekend is the best music box! πŸ’

Once’s version sounds sexier πŸ’
Ari’s earlier version sounds sharper in heart. So young! πŸ₯°
Ari and Andra make it raw and pure!
live show – Ari’s version is still the best! πŸ₯°

Bluish Gold Dome

Learning, Poetic
Sky blue, Beloved,
Drawn in peace and protection
Under the gold domeβ€”

β€”

Today’s late afternoon sky showed much turquoise with the white looking like mosaics of peace and protection sacred words in the domes of blue mosques.

Thanks for the peace and protection.

Salaam.

RC Gorman’s work of art – Woman with Turquoise

Too Hard

Learning, Poetic
Too hard, Beloved
She tried climbing giant tree.
Too tired, she passed out.

β€”

tried too hard and came up ugly. this door is not for you. you’re a feral cat, not a Persian! not wanted, not wanted πŸ˜‚

Love & Trust

Learning, love, Poetic
What is love and trust?
Wind and water pushing boat
Sailing to a landβ€”

β€”

Yes, love can come mysteriously like Capt Nemo’s Nautilus suddenly emerged from sea surface. She might love one that she doesn’t logically expect to love at all. Love is an active emotion. If she loves, she does. If she doesn’t love, she doesn’t. Accept and embrace it with its pain and foolishness.

Yet, trust can promote or demote one to or from a position like how Capt Nemo finally trusted Aronnax, Ned and Conseil as his main crew in the submarine. Trust is a living action. Test and investigate it with loyalty and integrity. If she trusts, she’ll promote the one to an inner circle. If she distrusts, she demotes one to outer layer.

Aaah! Love is always sweet in wordβ€” just that some people don’t have sufficient vocabulary to express and to understand. Trust is always inevitable in number β€” just that some people are accustomed to data manipulating to look good and so hiding the fact.

Still loving you though πŸ’• πŸ’•

May all beings be happy.

(from Pinterest)

Surprise

Learning, Map It!, Poetic, Those People
Daruma city
You’ve witnessed left eyes were drawn.
Wish me the right ones.

–

A group of people in Takasaki wished me a happy birthday in an online meeting. A real surprise that made my day! I almost cried of happiness! πŸ₯Ί

This evening one of them went back to Tokyo and she sent me messages with photos taken in Takasaki station. Another sweet surprise!

γ‚γ‚ŠγŒγ¨γ†γ”γ–γ„γΎγ™, AWγ•γ‚“γ€‚γΎγŸζ₯εΉ΄γŠδΌšγ„γ—γΎγ—γ‚‡γ†οΌ

Looking forward to a set of daruma dolls of different colours I ordered from Amazon (because of cancelled plan to buy them in its original city). Not a real surprise but hope the dolls give me a little shade of surprise! 🀩

Salaam.

daruma doll in Takasaki station sent with a message β€œHappy birthday, Rike. Come on draw my eyes!” πŸ˜‚
β€œEnjoy!” another message with another photo πŸ˜‚

Dream Home (lunch break)

Learning, life, love, Map It!, This Person
Dream home, Beloved,
Sitting with all senses on,
Capturing momentsβ€”

β€”

Lunch break + very very heavy rain = early wish of birthday getaway to come true!

sitting here while writing a bunch of love letters to whomever I want – 2023
long chat in Ubud – 2024
tranquil nights in Angkor – 2025
ocean air breathing in Ninh Thuan – 2026
walking in the depth of souk – 2027

To be continued with more destinations in 2028, 2029, 2030, 2031, 2032, 2033, 2034, 2035, 2036, 2037, 2038, 2039, 2040, 2041, 2042, 2043, 2044, 2045, 2046, 2047, 2048, 2049, 2050, 2051, 2052, 2053, 2054, 2055, 2056, 2057, 2058, 2059, 2060, 2061, 2062, 2063, 2064, 2065…. As if I knew how long I will wander around here? I hope to live as long as time is mentally and physically enjoyable with family and friends without bothering them.

Long life, fresh and sane!

Then came the calculation part…. A lot of coins to spend to comfortably celebrate that way in those particular places. Easy! Just need a clover pendant to make it happen. 😝

4-leaf good luck charm immediately wanted!!! to make dreams come true πŸ€

Thanks for the rain and daydream. I know there is more than meets the eye! Life is so rich and I accept all the gifts.