The Need of Grounding

When it feels like levitate, unrooted from the foundation…. This body invites to realize that these broken pieces need to be collected for the thousandth time….

Keeping the matrix composed.

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Temasek – February 16, 2015 0 4:51am

Exchanging Blessings With The Gentle Giants

I went to Oslob, Cebu, Philippines — for whale shark watching last week. Butanding is the local language for whale shark (Rhincodon Typus). I wanted to exchange blessings with them.

With Michelle and Jerry – a tour guide and a driver – I left Mactan at 5am.

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Deciding not to plunge in to the water, I didn’t bring any swimsuit. Ok, a boat was rented….

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The boatman is part of the conservation team…. See the T-shirt worn.

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Many people already swam around something…. A group of butanding enjoying their breakfast

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The gentle giant was peeping below my boat. Please let me offer you my love, dear butanding….

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Look at the spots on the body….

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…. on the tail

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He is deeply, seriously giving his blessings…. Or her blessings….

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Blessings to the feeder on the boat….

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To the onlookers on and beneath the water…..

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And, to me….

Before I finally left the site, I put both my feet into the water and prayed in my heart, telling huge blessings then leaving them into the sea. Thank you, butanding…. For the blessings we exchange.

Singapore – February 15, 2015 – 4:48am

For more information about whale shark, please go to:

http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/fish/whale-shark/

Beautiful Greek & Handsome Greg

It is not Greek from the Europe.

She is our beautiful Greek and our handsome Greg – two cats our ours raised by my family.

The most beautiful girl and handsomest guy in our humble abode….

One female and one male felines that share their happiness and joy with us in life.

Greek, thanks for your cheerful hello when we get up, for your quick snatch when we throw the rope, for innocent look when we don’t give you enough, for your touch with the fur when you want even more rubs, for everything making us smile and (pretend to be) upset….

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Mew…. Your soft voice, Greek….

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Saw her and her caretaker last holiday

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Meow! Wow, stronger voice: that is Greg, the one replacing Bob

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enjoying day after lunch

Greg, now one-eyed has been a tough guy in our family – his right eye was attacked by virus and late treated. He’s been with us since Bob was still here.

Greg behaves calmer than Greek. He won’t hop or jump or run in front of me. He is just sitting, licking his whole body over, mewing strongly and more loudly. And, he eats more easily even finishes Greek’s leftover. They have different plates for sure but the same bowl of water.

Greg doesn’t sleep at home. He is a tom and strays around at night for female feline; he stays home when it rains very heavily — dining chair is his favourite. Greek is staying home almost 60% of her day — sometimes at the porch, beds, chairs, corner of mom’s study.

Both are loved as loved as the human around…. And be thanked as thanked as the whole Universe….

Thanks for the humans around who take care of them        🙂

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under the shade of drying frame

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Bob, the grand predecessor 🙂

Singapore – January 11, 2015 – 2:10pm

The Birds

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Goura Cristata (crown dove)

These birds —

They never sing false notes. Humans slip their tongues now and then.

Where did the birds learn to sing? How did they master the sounds without flaw?

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A silent crow

Oye, Birds…. Would you tell her? Would you teach him?

To sing beautifully, to talk flawlessly?

Or, at least I using the real voice of theirs…. Be it chirping, be it crowing, be it cooing…. So be it, as long as it’s their real languages.

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Three geese at the lake

Temasek – December 10, 2014 – 2:55am

I thought

I thought of living as human peacefully, without thinking of how other creatures spend their time and place – that’s it.

I thought animals are only subordinates living being….

But now I change my mind. Both human beings and animals are living thing, the fellow earthlings. Plants are also the same. I respect them and love them equally, living peacefully is not the ultimate goal. My goal is to live peacefully IN HARMONY….

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Scooby the dear beagle and me

Temasek – November 0, 2014 – 6:34pm

Maru and Hana

Just logged in to youtube and found that mugumogu uploaded another video of Maru and Hana just three hours ago. This pet owner has uploaded many of Maru the cat and Hana, Maru came earlier and Hana joined the gang just recently. Seems that mugumogu treats those cats like her own kids.

Those two cats have brought joy to this life, showed humans how fellow creatures should live together in harmony, enjoyed now&here to the fullest. Not easy (for me for sure) but it’s doable.

Here is the latest post meant…

Makati SRL, November 23, 2014 – 5:56pm

 

Haiku – Vibration

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Touching my chest

I hear throbbing pulses there —

Sign of life.

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Breezing wind

Sweeps my hair and curtain, flying —

Cool air.

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Coarse sand

And soil cover my skin and hair —

Earth is here.

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Today I just want to emit vibration of love to all animals and underprivileged people in the world to support them in silence. I love you, I love you, I love you. You are loved, you are loved, you are loved. You are safe, you are safe, you are safe….. Mother Earth is helping you, protecting you all from harmful human beings. Be strong, be strong, be strong….. I love you, I love you, I love you. You are loved, you are loved, you are loved. You are safe, you are safe, you are safe….. 

Singapore – November 8, 2014 – 9:39pm

Long Before

Long before I hug you under the shed of light, you have chosen me to do….

It is not my intention. It is your wish to do….

Wings folded,

Halo un-rung,

Down to me you flew….

To my life, to my heart, to get absorbed by my soul.

And,

Time to press the button:

Last day of your physical being to be with us….

They call it death, let’s call it gate….

You’ve chosen somebody else,

I’m okay.

Be safe.

Be great. Be the bearer of the light….

I never regret for being your human – tears flowing isn’t a sign of sadness. Allow me to cry when remembering you, it is a celebration of my pride of being a mom of a cat that is now waiting to be born as a human being….

Wherever you are, be loving, be loved….

Thank you, Bob….

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Singapore – July 23, 2014 – 11:22

A Goose, A Kitten and A Bear

I saw a gracefully-moving goose, swimming…. Not swimming, she was paddling her feet below the water to show me that life is beautiful but with circulating movement of inner power. How do human being look so calm but struggling to reach the other end of their journey which is at the same point is the start of another trip….

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Picture borrowed from http://ibc.lynxeds.com/photo/swan-goose-anser-cygnoides/swan-goose

 

I saw then played with a bear. The eyes are soft so intriguingly contradictory with his sharp claws and teeth. Oye, Mr. Bear…. Please hug me in your huge warm body to feel that your heart is distributing love to your real existence through your eyes…. Your claws are the only tools to survive from others’ attack. Your strength is ultimately powerful to pump your core of love to my life, your strong boundary shares my selfishness of being a spiritual being – I will never want others to dictate my spiritual journey. You take the honey from my hands softly because you know that I only have heart full of love for you. I have nothing but love…..

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Picture borrowed from https://addons.opera.com/en/themes/details/sweet-bear/

 

For me this life is a group of circling boundaries set by Mr. Bear; boundaries full with claws that have been defeated by his loving eyes…. Take the claws and del the love.

And, I saw a kitten…. Kitten, my baby….. Thank you for staying with me for quite sometime. You accompanied me when I was sobbing and curling near the lake. You sat next to me doing nothing except staring at me with full of questions:

“Why are you crying?

Don’t you know I am your angel?

Don’t you realize that you are my guardian angel?

What do you know about us?

How do you produce your tears? Are they from the bottom of your soul? Would you please teach me how to cry sincerely?

Soul, don’t you know you are beautiful and deserve to enjoy this blessed life? Soul, do you know that I will always be with you?

How would you stop crying of missing the real one, while I am here with you? Would you please hug me and whisper to my ears that I am your loved one?”

….

The kitten, he is now a sacred soul with me in this very world…. Thanks for being with me when I was weeping by the lake. Thanks for whispering to my spirit that you love me truly. My dear kitten, you are opening your Life and my Eyes…. Live love, Love…..

They sat with me by the lake where I saw the reflection of my spirit….

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My dear Bob, now he is living in a real heaven with full of love all his life….

 

Singapore – July 7, 2014 – 10:57pm

You, Me, Shadow?

opening the door,

will I see you?

or, is it only your shadow? pretending to be you….

did I live with you? or with your shadow?

is it now that you are real or shadow?

 

tears flow, flowing along the path pushing through the door at the end.

what end? is there an end?

or a start? what should be started?

 

are you there?

welcoming me or welcoming my shadow?

am I real me or just my shadow?

 

just the two of us….

staring at each other – shadow to shadow?

 

I just hope you are the one behind the door….

 

Hilton KL – April 30, 2014 – 12:49am

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Bob’s 40th Day

This is the 40th day of his leaving me….

My dear cat, my dear son….

40th day is when soul is finally ready to completely leave this physical world – letting go of all who are loved to be sincerely separated physically….

Bob is now fully releasing me. And I am, too… Thank you, Bob for being my beloved – you’ll always be. Be peaceful, seeing me from behind the curtain of light. Be happy to see me, I will see you…

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Sampeyan wis seneng ya, le…. Kuburanmu ora entuk disekar karo sing manggon ning ngarepmu lho, le…. Wonge wedi he he he…. Wis, ndhak papa – tak dongakne ae malah luwih matoh.

Salam kanggo Bapak Jokanan dan Didang ya….

I love you, Bob…..

Yio Chu Kang Rd – April 4, 2014 – 11:30pm

Forgiveness

Everybody makes mistakes…..

Can I deny that I do? The only thing I can do is to be able to forgive myself for all mistakes I have done in my life so far.

This is not easy to forgive others and even much more difficult to forgive my own self who have committed mistakes – many – of which part are planned. I don’t want to talk about the planned mistakes. Let’s just talk about mistake that is just mistake…..

My father passed away just one day before I got home. I planned to see him after so long I left my house for work in Jakarta. I was in a hard time adapting the cruel capital city that was blessing me with my first job after graduating from university. I was a secretary in a small company by then. My boss was a very pious person that treated all employees very well but then his company was not big enough to make me enough-paid to buy ticket to pay homage to my parents. So…. I had to save money for almost one year and of course to take a “decent” leave. I call it “decent” because I was needed badly to support other departments so that I did not dare to file for a leave at any chosen time.

That is my biggest mistake, it was almost unforgivable. I cease blaming on my self after so many years….. I cried when I remembered how painful it was to be poor and not able to pay a visit to beloved father who was sick and dying….. And, probably he was missing me so much. Please forgive me, oh my own self….

Then it happened again just this year.

Bob, my cat son was sick. I should have been able to pay him a visit. The ticket was affordable for me. It was just because the time did not allow. It took a long hour from Singapore to my mom’s house. From Changi airport I have to fly to Surabaya which is no problem at all, but from Surabaya to my mom’s house it would take 5 hours and so I have to spare at least 24 hours for the travel. I did not have that much time at that time…..

So, I let him die without me around…. This is almost unforgivable, too. I was sinking below all roots, could not see the beautiful flowers of my life in which those beloved ones nurtured before…..

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Then….

I reconcile with my self.

What should I do? All is over.

My beloved father and son passed away when I was away. That might be what they wanted. They did not want me to see them die. They wanted me to just see how happy their life was when I was around.

They have always wanted me to commemorate their good days. They have always wanted me to celebrate our togetherness in a positive way. Like they have been saying to me “Be happy, Rike. We are always happy with you…. Celebrate our life with your good memories. Don’t cry for us. Smile for us. We will meet again in the next life.”

So then I tell myself softly that I should forgive my own self because my father and my son have forgiven me. They will never hate me just because I never touched their bodies before they were buried. Their souls have been surrounding me from then on, so they are never away because of being separated by the container called physical body.

Oye, Self….. Please cherish the love. Never forget that the soul can be communicated with even when the bodies are cremated or buried or decayed in unknown places….. Ask the souls to talk to you, listen to your explanation and apology, sincere apology.

It is never too late to realise.

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Soul is always here. In the same matrix and ready to mediate.

So, please use the time while you are awake. Tell them how much you love them, how strong we are all connected and how big the sorrow will be if the forgiveness is not shared…..

Quezon City – March 4, 2014 – 9:37pm

Light

My body is lighter, when I sleep…. I can fly to all places I want to go and meet with anybody I want to encounter with. As long as I sleep well, I would dream and only then I will remember what I dream when I wake up later. Image

I should let myself be light, even lighter so that I can gain whatever I want to. I travel in my good sleep. I greet my beloved ones in my good sleep. I just need to sleep well to dream and at the same time to realise my dream. Image

I believe my dream is as real as the reality when I am awake. My reality in awake state is when the body experiences all things in life. But in dream is when my soul lets my body take a rest and it goes by itself experiencing etheric reality…. So, no matter what I dream I would thank that in the name of God I get what my body has dreamt of in the day. Oh…. how light I am  now, sleepy…. Need some good sleep and sweet dream. Let me meet my Bob, my late father and any other beloved ones living in the world, in this matrix…. I am sorry I am actually chattering….. Sorry but I feel so light and want to sleep to realise my dream….

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YCK Rd – March 3, 2014 – 11:18pm

I Let You Go To The Other Side

Bob’s leaving us from this dimension is still a pain for me – small pain but big enough to make me feel emotionally burdened, overwhelmed and cry. And, it is now time for me to release more significantly because the way I mourn gave my lovely son a negative energy and made him walk insincerely to leave this dimension to the next level of his life – in the cat heaven, some best friends of mine said it.

So, I keep saying to myself that Bob is fine now. He is free from any physical pain and is ready to be embraced by the eternal love of guardian angels. Bob is ready to evolve to become my guardian and he can do it only by seeing me smile, by witnessing me letting him go, by sensing my releasing heart, by kissing him heavenly kisses. I shall not mourn anymore. I am not sad because he is leaving me, not because we are apart physically, not because the way he died…. I am not mourning anymore.

I told him….

Bob, go across the bridge. I know you need to go. You need to transform to be able to be my guardian. You belong to eternity. Angels are waiting for you with a crown and a pair of lovely wings…. I let you go…. I thank you for being my son. I am sorry if I did not take care of you all the time, but I love you…. My mom – Ibu – loves you as well… Please don’t be sad, smile…. Smile, my baby. Walk steadily, my son…. You can visit me and Ibu when you miss us. Just come to our dream, to our meditative level of brain. You may call us with your vibrating soul. Touch us, greet us gently like you kissed us, like you touched us, like you licked our skin, like you did in our contact….

I will still write about you…. For sure.

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Press your soft paws to our cheek so we know when you are around. Please meow softly to us so we know that you are around. Let’s keep this love and fill the air with it. Namaste….

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This song is for you, Bob….

“To Where You Are” (Josh Groban)

Who can say for certain

Maybe you’re still here

I feel you all around me

Your memory’s so clear

Deep in the stillness

I can hear you speak

You’re still an inspiration

Can it be

That you are mine

Forever love

And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are

Beyond the distant star

I wish upon tonight

To see you smile

If only for awhile to know you’re there

A breath away’s not far

To where you are

Are you gently sleeping

Here inside my dream

And isn’t faith believing

All power can’t be seen

As my heart holds you

Just one beat away

I cherish all you gave me everyday

‘Cause you are my

Forever love

Watching me from up above

And I believe

That angels breathe

And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up

To where you are

Beyond the distant star

I wish upon tonight

To see you smile

If only for awhile

To know you’re there

A breath away’s not far

To where you are

I know you’re there

A breath away’s not far

To where you are

…..

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Yio Chu Kang Rd – February 28, 2014 – 9:12pm

Sweet Memory Starts

My son Bob was a cat with soft heart. He would never quarrel except another cat attacked him. He would just groan and groan and groan but did not move from his spot. Only if the other tomcat jumped to him, would he fight to survive.

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He would have a lot of reason to manipulate me. He would kiss my forehead, my nose, my lips or my cheeks to wake me up from my sleep to get whatever he wanted: food, drink or door to open.

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Or, he would slip under my blanket to slew comfortably, only some time then he would climb out of the blanket and sleep above me. He would snore and spread his purring beautiful sound bringing peace into my small bedroom.

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When you grew older, you did not want to cooperate since you had better life outside with your fellow cats. You always scratched the door to go out and it was always at 1:00am…. But for the sake of love, I opened the door for you, Bob…..

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You loved perching on TV as if you were the God of (modern) Cat…. Lovely boy! You are always able to steal my heart, Bob.

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When you were sick, you didn’t moan. You just take a silent position and keep the pain in you. I could not help except giving you the best food and medication which was probably not really the best for you…. I tried hard to keep you next to me, your soul next to mine.

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Then I had to leave Indonesia to pursue my dream…. I cried happy but sad…. I was given a chance to make my self more experienced in life but then I had to leave you. Could I? Who would take care of you, Bob? I had to make a hard decision. I brought you to my mom’s house – she did not have a soft spot for pets indeed.

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I knew you were so sad, leaving your home…. But you trusted me that you would find another home. And, yes my mom fell in love with you.

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I visited you when I had time to sneak out of my hectic days – some leave or long weekend really helped us to meet up…. You looked happy, Bob. We had good time…. I fed you, stroked you, kissed you, hugged you, cuddled you, took picture of you, took care of your body which grew older….

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My mom always said “Bob is a human, he understands how to love, he is more loving than some humans who destroy others’ happiness. Bob has given us a lot of joy…. Thanks God for everything.”

He likes to daydream in the terrace, looking at the other cats that were enjoying his food left-over. Too much to throw away, good to share with other cats…. 🙂

There was a time, we really got angry because of how people treat him. So cruel…. Beat him, splash him with water, hurt him in any way they like just because those neighbours hated cats. But Bob was too weak to counterstrike. He just went home with the wound then we would lovingly treated him until he got well. We loved you, Bob and we do and will always do.

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Then came a message that you were sick, puking all food you ate. Eating then puking two hours later; that was a pattern. My could not do anything. Nobody would help to take her to the vet. She lives in a village where people are busy taking care of their own poverty – there was no thinking of getting medication for animal.

Plus my mom was so busy taking care of my sick sister. I am sorry, my son Bob. We had been so occupied by our humane life that we did not take a good care of you humanely. I am sorry, we are sorry.

My mom said Bob stayed at home since Friday (Feb’ 21) until today when she found him dead on the floor of one cool bedroom – it is where I slept when I was still staying with my family. It is the coolest room in the house.

I don’t want to remember how he died. I want to remember how he lived.

He lived as a son of mine, bringing me joy and a lot of blessings. He has been sacrificing his free will to be my family member. He was so willing to share his pureness with us. He shared his sincere soul to grow among us. He inspired us with love and sincerity. He let himself be part of the madness of human in our life. You gave us love, Bob…..

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I released you with all my heart.

I heard a voice calling my name last night “Rike” and I just thought it was you telling me that it is time. You called me to give a sign…. I should not have been afraid, I should have remembered you who was trying to open the door “home”…..

Now you are home, Bob. It is the real home. Your body is buried but your soul is forever, here guarding me from any not-loving and insincerity. Thank you, son. Thank you for being flower of my soul. I know I am so heartsick, ibu* is so sad, too…. You know it, right? We know you know it. But you smile because it was your time. Time to go home, where we will also go to be together. Play, boy…. Play with the fragrance of flowers among the cats that can fly high to reach the Source without mourning.

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I am sad for I was not with you when you were dying. But I know you know how much I love you. The pictures above are tokens of our relationship son – mother of cat. Hope you care to share your joy with the other souls who have gathered in the other side…. Or, even you care to share with the Source how you have made us accept life as it is.

Bob, you are always in our heart. Even the sweet memories have just started on Feb’ 25 when I heard the message that the bodily Bob died and the soul is wrapped in silk and put in a pretty basket embraced by a pair of sacred angels to the heaven.

Jakarta (Grand Hyatt), February 25, 2014 – 10:21pm

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Mr. Gray

He used to be the biggest enemy of Bob in Bob’s earlier stay in my mom’s house. He was very skinny then, always trying to peep what Bob was having for meal. Bob would stay inside, not wanting to go out welcome by his evil stare.

Mr. Gray is a tomcat which is now occupying my mom’s terrace – one corner where a curling water hose is put.

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I am Mr. Gray….

He is there every single day, sleeping and curling, yawning and waiting for meal after Bob has finished the food on the plate. He is not so much evil to Bob anymore because he knows he will never replace Bob’s position in our heart. But he is trying to behave nicer by staying away from Bob – except at night when Bob is outside we sometimes hear they still quarrel over female cats…. Let it be, they are real cats.

Mr. Gray has become new member in our family. We won’t let him in though. We just spare a corner outside that we think still comfortable for him to nap. We give him meal every time Bob finishes with the breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner or supper.

Mr. Gray would shout at us if we forget to feed him…. So sweet….

We know it is additional energy needed to share but it is good to share, even only with a cat.

Seeing that Mr. Gray behaves less evil to Bob, we are relieved. That Mr. Gray is fatter, we are thankful. That Mr. Gray lives a bit happily, we are also happy.

Thanks, Mr. Gray…. For being a good fellow creature enjoying the blessing under the sky…. We know you always pray for our good so that you can get good things from us.

We love you, Mr. Gray…. Go ahead napping….

Yio Chu Kang Rd, February 15, 2014 – 6:16pm

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Mr. Gray is meowing: “Food, food…. I am hungry…”

Love’s Day – Why?

 

 

I have so much love in my heart. I don’t need one named day to express mine to anyone. I can express it today, tomorrow, any days in the future like I did it yesterday, tester month, long long ago…. I just need love to do it. If I still have love in heart, I still have things to share.

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I might have no flowers for you, but I definitely send you fragrance of flowers in my love….

I might not have chocolate for you, but I save the bitter-sweet shape of love in every breath I take then give…

I don’t have symbols when giving love. I just do with all my heart.

Be it misunderstood as too much, it is not a problem for me.

I just love…

My love touches all… Only the one that can feel the touch.

If the love is not felt, hopefully my love can grow bigger so that it can reach the untouchable surface of heart….

 

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Life is so short.

How short it is, I don’t know.

It is not countable like the age.

But in the un-measured shortness, let’s appreciate it by doing things.

Doing things, the best manner we can.

No matter what, we have no choice but doing to be…. Being….

 

Doing the best

Being human,

In the shortness of life

Spreading love….

 

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Vibrating my loving soul to the universe….

I love you, mother.

I love you, sisters.

I love you, my dear Bob….

I love you all fellow creatures….

 

Peace be upon all the universe….

 

 

Singapore – February 14, 2014 – 12:19am

 

Love Across The Border

I am away from home.

I am far away from family.

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My closest family is Bob – a stray cat I adopted about five years ago when I was living in a rented room in Tangerang. Bob came to my landlady’s house every afternoon when I got home. I used to sit on one sofa inside or outside the house when he started to look at my chewing mouth.

“Are you hungry, cat?” From then on I never forgot to bring some food for him.

Now he is with my mom, in her village — 1,921 kilometres away from Singapore.

He is a spoiled son of mine. Almost all of my mom’s neighbours know that Bob is my “son” and they never dare disturb – if only all knew. Some don’t know and they would do things bad if they feel my cat (or any other cats) don’t behave… Oh man…. You behave please, a cat purely behave – you just don’t know.

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I post Bob’s pictures on my fridge’s body and on the board of my workstation. I will greet his face in the photos everyday when I am in town. When I am traveling I kiss and smile at his saved pics in my smartphone. I feel like Bob is never far from me. My love and care for him is just the same from the first time I trained him to get used to my skin by touching on my toes on his body until finally he is fond of being caressed and stroked.

I sometimes salute him a Namaste from here just to whisper to his soul that we are never apart. Oh, what a special cat he is. Yes, indeed.

Bob was the only friend of mine when everybody did not want to be with me. Bob was the one staring at me when I was crying alone in my house. Bob was the one reminding me when there was someone climbing up to my house rooftop and saved me. Bob was the one who reminded me that there is always a soul caring…. And, he is the one making me so much full of energy in earning money. I sent some money to my mom to buy some food for him and of course for my mom…. 🙂 So simple my motivation, it is just a cat and a woman.

This Chinese New Year I hope I can go back home again to see Bob. I will let him know that my love to him is across the border. Not just a river I can sail across but it is the sky that I fly across to find good life for him.

Hi Bob, thanks for being my dear son for the past five years. Please behave, be healthy and live long. I always miss you….

Yio Chu Kang Rd – January 17, 2014 – 10:13pm

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It was when he was sick before I went to a business trip for 3 days, I put him in an animal clinic that did not take care of him as well as I expected. Well, it was then…. Now he is ok with my mom and sisters.