Iβm surrounded by animal lovers and rescuers. Every now and then I see how they struggle with animals in pain or death. Itβs not easy each time those friends have to say good bye but at the same time they learn again and again that the best end is by releasing sincerely and being released sincerely.
Happy journey, Dear. Thanks for all the lessons you have taught us.
Alfatihah πππΌ
bye, Item; see you across the bridge π₯° alfatihah π
A flower blooms, dries to fall off or falls to dry at time in place for a given moment. It lives then dies. It blossoms or prematurely drops.
Some flowers are admired, some are not even noticed. Some are vibrantly coloured, some are dead dull. Some are meticulous, some are straightly simple. Some produce edible fruits, some the poisonous.
Itβs about flower, the beauty in itself, although most view points perceive the look differently. Absolute beauty sits where it is, lingering forever as values and concepts. Relative beauty fades away through aging, some even without being remembered as memory or history.
Itβs about flower, the one in a palace and that in a lawn.
Salam. Alfatihah.
prominent, admired, blessedunnoticed, hidden beauty, blessedfall to dry, blesseddried and ready to decompose, blessed
Respect each other as all of us have become us with no choice but traveling the paths weβve agreed to sign up. Early termination doesnβt apply; life is about starting and completing whatβs written.
Sometimes a challenge or deadline is needed like fertiliser sprinkled on to the soil to trigger more chemical, biological, physical reactions from the root dancing in the ground to go deeper and healthier so that the tree grows even stronger and taller.
ι εΌ΅γγΎγγγοΌ
28-day writing challenge with some friends feels like a squid game π π΅βπ«
You can start the year on any day and call it a new year. You can use lunar or solar or any other possible cycle in the galaxy or even beyond the galaxy as you wish.
The only thing you need is making sure your start is well used.
I thank everyday for the second chance, the new day everyday, the new year everyday.
Happy Chinese New Year!
a video from a colleague in Taiwan, always one of my favourite buddies at work!!! ππ½ Gong Xi, Gong Xi, Tim!
Trust is what sheβs been holding tight because without it sheβs lost the grip against so much magnetic force around that will pull her into a gaping hole, where greediness can consume anyone till no end.
Thanks, Beloved, for giving me a life thatβs imperfect but perfectly humbling me in many ways.
I trust You; voluntarily or forcefully.
π
a song that touches my heart like a tiny leaf falling on a placid lake π thank you
I bought my first property at 34, a bit late from the original plan simply because I was broke. It was a small house in Greater Jakarta, that is now called βRumah Bobβ (literally Bobβs home) named after my cat Bob.
It is one tiny house in a small cluster, uniformly designed with minimum freedom to show βmeβ β the owner can only have it painted different colours, install different window sills, plant different flowers and design different garden, add different carport, or maybe buy different cars.
Apology – Some people (who helped search property for me) thought I was too much because for some of them a house is simply a place to live in comfort, while Iβve always dreamt to live in a home where I can express the true me and help my guests understand their true selves by visiting the home. A few of them sarcastically said I shouldnβt have searched through them if I didnβt have enough money β ohhhhhh some bloody stings!!! π Yet I did apologise to them for being so difficult.
I decided to buy a small plot of land in a greenery in Yogyakarta (my fatherβs home town) and build a home from scratch.
Architect – Itβs very important to choose the right architect. Not necessarily the most prominent as to me integrity and friendship is the most important thing – luckily my best friend recommended her student to work on my dream. Working with an architect who was artist had blessed me. She understood what was wanted by her clients but she never got satisfied even when the clients said the final draft was excellent. She would get back to me saying βMbak, I think I find which part should be optimised. Iβll get back to you with a new draft.β Thanks to Mbak Novi.
The Core – My home will never impress random onlookers from the outlook or those who think a good house is a luxurious building; they will simply think itβs a humble abode clean and fresh. It will only impress its guests, family and friends who truly relate with me as human beings with different kinds of engagements or those who know how to appreciate humanity and ordinary.
I wish to be granted health and prosperity to live long enough to enjoy being a sincere host in my true home to those who love life.
A dream come true! Alhamdulillah.
May all beings be happy. π
front door, greeting family and friends with all my heart and soul – no fake people are welcome
βm wishing the borders re-open soon so I can travel to meet my family and friends then have some chat with them while throwing sour jokes without emoticon or disturbed internet connection.
βm wishing the borders re-open soon so I can travel to see my base home starting her life.
βm wishing Iβm as fine as now if the borders donβt re-open soon. π
Borders re-opening means no quarantine applied π 10-day in a closed room -how much ever it is comfy- is truly a must-not-happen-experience-in-life thing!
βm praying that Iβll be saved from any danger and threats from any creature. Amenβ¦
Nagasari or Nogosari is rice cake filled with ripe banana, one βsnackβ included in Javanese praying ceremony. This food symbolises prayer to God for safety and security from any danger and threats from any creature; and so a Javaneseβs life can be blissful, joyful and gleeful.
Always sit next to the right window, dear Self. π
prayer of safety and security in a piece of ramekin π₯°modern Nagasari, should be wrapped in banana leaf but today it was steamed in a π instead
A group call with my brother and sister in law is mostly either stupid or crazy. Once we talked about the old time passing and our addiction.
How someone gets addicted to something is mostly started from a physical or mental exit of painβ either clinically prescribed or personally decidedβ followed by excessive dependency on the substances or the activities.
Iβve seen how people addicted to medicine (I was to pain killer), drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, etc have changed from beautiful human beings into ugly persons either physically or mentally. Itβs how awful co-dependency shapes someoneβs life. Moreover, there is no addiction in any history that brings true happiness or freedom.
Three of us then discussed about someone who was addicted to something unusual: spiritual drills. Having all resources, the person went shopping on various classes and workshops about spirituality and self help such as meditation, mindfulness, tapping therapy, money magnet and how to optimise it spiritually, how to activate chakra, yoga and blahblahblah, gemstones and their spiritual power, mandala and spiritual awakening, how spiritual life pull financial abundance, spiritual traveling around many places, etc. One had been in oneβs 60th class last time we met. One would be able to answer all questions in any possible ways. I called one βMr/Ms Know Allβ, a euphemistic nick name that might be loved by those addicted to power and authority. Some friends called this person βMr/Ms Spiritual Junkyβ.
What I remember about this person is that no one around was genuinely appreciated, everyone was just a βwho-are-you-you-think-youβre-better-than-meβ. One called most of oneβs friends βcantrikβ, a Javanese word that literally means follower/helper and would never be up to oneβs level (one called oneβs self healer and universe map reader).
How ironic! From someone who were full of compassion to someone who were full of envy and insecurityβ
I think many if not all people to some extent were once addict who learned the lessons and changed the patterns to be free from co-dependency. My brother was a heavy smoker, been stopping for around 3 years. My sister in law was a Korean drama freak and quit. I myself was addicted to those I fell for and heavily overthinking.
βI almost got addicted to someone again.β
βLet go! Let go! Let go!β said they to me like cheerleaders.
Definitely! Itβs a waste to wait for emotionally unavailable people to care that I care about them. Iβm ok to get soaked in love and compassion but not in addiction to people. π
Addiction, oh addiction.
Alfatihah to all of those who are addicted to anything in any situation. Be healed and blessed.
are they addicted to gadget or hugs? so clingy, damnβ¦. π
There is a proverb in Indonesian βada udang di balik batuβ literally βthere are shrimps behind the rocksβ that means there is a hidden (fishy) agenda.
Iβve received some invites from βunclearβ people in Instagram, most are men that I believe scammers trying to lure a victim whatever they are aiming at from me; maybe as simple as attention or most probably money. And how did I feel? Disturbed? Not at all. Scammers are equivalent with friends with hidden (fishy) agendaβ they are sources of entertainment either directly connected or just ignored.
God bless you all scammers. Youβll find a way to get a big money with your work, plus the logical consequences but not from me.
May all beings be happy.
barbecued pomfret – finally the fish (not from murky water) was served after some situational vegetarian period π₯°sambal dabu-dabu, a specialty from Manado, North Sulawesi, Indonesia – I can never finish the archipelago culinary experience π₯°
Donβt take too long a time to fix an issue. Time wisely travels with those willing to appreciate a journey through action taking along with wisdom harvesting. Otherwise, it will bulldoze whatβs not solved.
Dear January. I know youβll transform with me who doesnβt want remedial lessons next year.
Thank you, 2021. Welcome, 2022.
Bismillaahirrahmaanirrahiemβ¦.
π
nothing is forever, let go of all that are not serving for my highest good either interest or ambition
no one is perfect, accept the dark side of my own self and learn all lessons either pleasant or unpleasant
balance is feasible only when mental detachment and appropriate acceptance are achieved, I claim the balance
Christmas falls on Sunday so itβs replaced with a day off on the following Monday. I take 2 days of special shut-down on 23 and 24 soβ¦. It is a long weekend for 2021βs Christmas. Whoohoo!
As much as missing my family, I donβt have enough gut to go back to Indonesia which still applies 10-day quarantine in Jakarta while I still have to fly to Surabaya before meeting my mother.
βItβs fine, you stay safe there. Take good care of yourself,β said they. Thatβs enough as blessings to me.
So? Where to go?
Pulau Ubin by bike!
Al Fatihah to all celebrating Christmas and those enjoying holiday! π
Fasting is a very common practice for a Javanese. I started at six but saw the real benefits of fasting only at 20βs. At 30βs for around 5 years I skipped recommended fasting due to congested biz trip schedule before finally I realised of losing good healthy days.
Intermittent fasting has helped me a lot with heart health management. There are more benefits though for those who are in either good or bad health. Hundreds of journals and articles about it are easy to browse in the Net.
Side effects? For those not familiar with fasting, they will get lethargic or headaches in the first some days (for me not at all), dried lips (come on, you can put lip balm) or the worst probably people will get cranky when hungry π
To a rather romantic person intermittent fasting is a space where one can contemplate about life, love, problem before finally laughing or at least smiling with or without tears finding that everything is not coincidentally met. Everything is systematically designed, reasonably put, no coincident, no accident. And space is where one can see the broken pieces come into a big picture.
Just need a space. I respect your space. π
May all beings be happy.
todayβs breakfast in the intermittent fasting – lekker!
Ah, weekends of mid December! Work is slowing down on several days. Weekends feel like starting on Friday morning. I have some longer time to talk to the mirror and find that Iβm still there! A hidden innocent rascal nicely sitting behind layers of curtains
Flowers losing petals is a natural phase before plants are harvested for the fruits, the bulbs or other parts. Or, the flowers are the ones harvested to experience falling petals before they dry out naturally. Itβs an end of one cycle at the same time a start of another.
Online work mode has made people think creatively to minimize boredom including inserting some fun through dress code in online meetings. This time thanksgiving. Yay!
Iβve read some history and the development of that tradition, not a fans though because I am raised a Javanese who is supposed to thank every day βevery moment if possibleβ with whatever reason. If you donβt have reasons to be grateful, find one.
For being a human being. For being a female. For being one rascal in the family. For being a persistent colleague. For the abundance. For the scarcity. For being me now.
If it is still hard to thank for who you are, Beloved, just be you with the layers of fear, hope and awe.
Thank you! For everything π£
not a fans of costume but thanksgiving is not far from turkey, turkey headband is counted costume π¦βΊοΈ my hair! π
What is second chance? Once again? Or again and again like lily bulbs that come back every autumn and bloom beautifully until forever ends?
spider lily near cemetery
Mother Nature has taught me that mistake doesnβt come with punishment; it comes with lesson to be a better human being, someone who has purer intention and clearer attention. She consistently brings messages about acceptance that no one will be perfect as imperfection is an included package to realise and/or materialise perfection. That welcoming the next good day is doing the best today. That if the next now called tomorrow is here, the second chance has welcome me to be a better me. A me thatβs more me than beforeβ
I remember my Kyoto trip in 2014, my first encounter with spider lily. Fascinated, I sat down on the grass for quite long time in front of a temple with my camera until a beautiful Japanese (old) lady stopped by me.
βHana! Hana! Hana!β She said smiling, with her thumbs pointed to the lily then to my camera.
βYa! Ya! Ya! Thank you! Beautiful flowers!β
It was a surprise for me. A moment with no preparation. A short act with no anticipation. She just went away with her wise old smile.
That lady was probably sent to me as a second chance to re-define what possibly a Japanese truly looks like as the previous week I didnβt have a good experience with another one in Nagano.
I wonβt probably meet with her again, yet enough for me to know that when Iβm that age, Iβd like to be as friendly and warm as her. π
Thank you for everything that comes with second chance, even second chance after my second chance so that in the second second chance I realise that it is my second chance not to be missed.
Al-Fatihah for all those who miss the second chance and those who are waiting for a second chance.
Salaamβ¦.
spider lily at the rice field – I havenβt seen it in my country, worth trying
Todayβs discussion with some friends was about self worth. One head, one point of viewβ
My own understanding about self worth has evolved. Its turning point was in 2009 after a broken heart. World was ruined. Hope was (almost) zero. The worst was the way I was cut from the relationship; it made me feel of having no self worth. It was a time of emotionally shutting down like an un-charged computer; functional intellectually and physically but not emotionallyβ zombie in the making.
Dumbest young me!
I thought self worth was when I was do things better than others. Or, knowing more than others. Or, given a lot of things out of the blue as if winning lucky draws again and again. Gaining financial freedom and material things. Or feeling prettier than others (this one very seldom) at least prettier than Bob, my cat.
What is self worth in my system?
β self worth is about utilitarianism. Miriam Webster dictionary says utilitarianism is a doctrine that the useful is the good and that the determining consideration of right conductshould be the usefulness of its consequences; specifically a theory that the aim of action should be the largest possible balance of pleasure over pain or the greatest happiness of the greatest number.
If Iβm good. So what? What have I done for my own self at the same time for others by being good, smart, lucky, financially independent?
If being good, smart, lucky, financially independent doesnβt bring benefits to others; whereβs my worth? Is worth to self not enough, said someone. Not wrong; if the perspective of βselfβ is about taking. In fact, life is always about giving and taking, or taking and giving.
βThe best of people are those that bring most benefit to the rest of mankind,β said Islamic wisdom. It is equivalent with βurip iku urupβ in Javanese wisdom.
Lo! No matter what people perceive about me as long as I do good to my own self and surrounding with good will, so be it.
May all beings be happy. πͺΆ
books to be shipped to Yogyakarta, for one of my best friends who opens a library in a small village π Iβm happy that what I read will be utilised for othersβ good. π£
There is time when I regret of whatβs done and nervous about what will happen. Why did I do that? I should have done this. What if I fail again? I am not good enough.
I used to think money was everything with happiness but I prove that money is the biggest illusion in life that I misunderstood. Now I consider money should be merely a tool, never a purpose. Yet I still think of what if my company stock price decreases? π
I used to look for happiness and protection in a relationship. With experiences I become strongly convinced that only a healthy relationship with the self can help me cope with problems; moreover, without healthy relation with my self any relationship with others wonβt work well. Yet I still donβt heal from broken heart easily and still think whether or not I will meet someone I can share some simple happiness and shelter with.
I was between life and death situations more than once for some illness before, and so helpless about future. And gradually I realise that death can come anytime even when people are healthy. Yet I still hope I die when I let go of any confusion and live in clarity.
However, there is time when I know that only in the now I can accept everything. In the now I can shed tears with mixture of gratefulness for whatβs breaking my heart and blessings of whatβs boosting the quality of life. In the now I can smile just by seeing piling laundry waiting for ironing. In the now I can see the canvas is the door of self healing. In the now I can imagine sending a cake full of love for my loved ones who live in many different places, whom I cannot visit with many reasons. In the now I can see shades of real and true happiness in each and every experience from wake up to sleep.
Thank you for the now and now and now that form a strand of pearls called forever.
I live forever until the last now meets with the first now.
Al Fatihah to all of my loved ones across the oceans. I bless you happiness.
Salaamβ¦.
back on track, contemplating with coloursdo things with love, the definition of love? enjoying good things to the fullest or, in bad time enjoying the process with patience πthank you, Emily for the message πͺΆππ½
History of life. History of family. History of country. History of a nation. History of a continent. History of the world. History of human beings. History of the universe.
Whose stories?
History is written by the victors, said Winston Churchill. Is that right? It might be, politically.
Sheβd love to understand histories from those who have experienced life journey with heart and soul.
Eyes are a lagoon where tears are gliding through to the ocean of realities before evaporating then giving up whatβs not serving anymore and turning grief into spirit to achieve the next milestones.
Soul is whatβs peeping out through two windows, zooming in and out of what life presents to the self, finding the best view with accuracy and precision to gain clarity.
There wonβt be anything wasted. All is flowing, without stopping. Like rivers that keep moving from soft to fast flows before finally joining a vast ever-moving force named the sea.
May all beings be happy. π
an estuary in Sempu Island, East Java – a hidden gem, hope it stays (relatively) hidden π
She loves rain as much as she adores rainy days. It reminds her of millions of water needles sharply in high speed falling on earth, different parts of earth.
Heart rain washing a rainforest is a blessing, flood in Jakarta tortures many stray animals and the underprivileged.
Itβs not the pain, Beloved. Itβs whatβs left after suffering.
Someone canβt truly live without dreams. Dreams make days clear with focus and full of energy, nights calm with focus and full of serenity.
Simple dreams will do; as simple as doing daily gardening on a small courtyard garden and veggies garden around a house that is hosting simple rendezvous of family and good friends, cooking, teaching free language classes and life skill or tips of management or leadership to those who need, traveling light to places friendly to weaker body, sharing how life is so broad and deep with those who care.
Come true. Come true. Come true. π£
Wake up! All is still on paper. Go back to work! π
Distance, Beloved, Isnβt how far youβre from me. Itβs how soft the voice Can reach your heart. These whispers Slide through the space of the rain.
rike jokanan 
You must be logged in to post a comment.