Too good to be true,
Yet too long to be untrue;
A dangling long dreamβ
β

graphs of my Universe
Too good to be true,
Yet too long to be untrue;
A dangling long dreamβ
β

Ocean welcomes all,
River flown and rain fallen.
Friends in a friendshipβ
β
A meet up with my first mentor training me in my current profession almost 20 years ago. He and his wife are in Singapore to celebrate their 10th wedding anniversary and spend this whole day to meet up with me: shopping in Orchard Road Apple Store, browsing around looking for my favourite Japanese restaurant that was found closed down since 2021, having lunch (Indonesian food in Singaporeβ¦.? Oh my) walking around Orchard Road, taking MRT for fun, enjoying evening coffee in Starbucks Bugis Junction before our farewell.
This wise couple gave me a bunch of advices to be this and to be thatβ¦. How lovely this life is to have friends who are willing to share their (personal) experiences for precious lesson learning.
Thank you, Pak Donny and Mbak Maya. See you in Jakarta! πππ½
Alfatihah to my dear friends.

Thereβs only one way to leave a forest: its edge. Throw away the doubt.
β

Cold breeze blows softly
On weekends, and on the leaves
Rustling about me.
β
Not answered questions:
Those to be pinned with meanings
By them questioningβ
β
Surabaya did sum up my medium-length end-of-year holiday of mine. Hosted by one best friend, this 32-hour visit meant much to me: a lot of chat and enough food.
With this best friend open discussion is a routine. Last nightβs discussion while driving around the city was everything about money. We both treat money differently. She is a better financial planner, I am a learner.
We used to be curious about what money truly was. Money discussion had always been a hot topic before and last night we both finally agreed that money can be defined as anything according to the one managing it.
We know different types of friends and their behaviour towards money. There are friends who meticulously count money (stingy), friends who think money is a symbol of welfare (social status), friends who consider money is everything (arrogant), friends who consider money is treasure (stupid), friends who consider money is nothing (careless), friends who donβt believe that money is a thing (maybe almost dead), friends who have little money (poor), friends who constantly borrow money (lazy). Complete experience. π
What is money to us? We both donβt have special place for money at the same time we have special space for money. It is a tool. It is the replaceable at times, the irreplaceable at others. It is what it is with given context. We both agree that a question of βwhat is moneyβ doesnβt need an accurate answer; it just needs honest response. Answer is too rigid and feels like a reaction; response is more flexible and almost a wisdom. Example? If having money makes us think we are more respectable than others, that is an accurate answer. If having no money makes us think we are less than others, that is an accurate answer. If having money makes us more functional as human beings in some situation, that is an honest response. If having no money makes us less complaining and harder working, that is an honest response.
We both donβt expect to be in forever comfort by having so much money yet donβt want to live uncomfortably because of having not enough money. We simply want to have sufficient amount as what is needed in life.
This visit puts me back on track that βlife is just like thatβ at the same time βlife is worth fighting for and beautifully livingβ with good will and a small touch of power from money.
Before driving me to the airport, she commented on my eyes.
BF: Have you put eyeliner?
Me: No
BF: Told you to always put eyeliner. You have one?
Me: Ya
BF: What colour?
Me: Brown
BF: No, no. Try blue.
Me: (frown on my forehead). I donβt have blue one.
BF: Try this. (handing a blue eyeliner to me)
Me: (reluctantly putting blue eyeliner on both eyes)
BF: Look at that! Brighter eyes! Ok, take it. Wear blue eyeliner more.
Me: Ok, as long as not green that turns me to a green-eyed. How much is it?
BF: I am not selling it to you. A tiny token of friendship. Not everything should be paid with money. Thanks for the birthday gift, too.
Thank you. Happy birthday, Madam Scorpio.
See you again.
Salaam.

Manusia mengembarai langit
Manusia menyusuri cakrawala
Tidak untuk menguasainya
Melainkan untuk menguji dirinya
Apakah dia bertahan menjadi manusia,
Tidak untuk hebat kuasa atau perkasa
Melainkan untuk setia sebagai manusia.
(Emha Ainun Nadjib)
β
Good morning, Surabaya. You did a lot of moulding to this human being. Thank you!!! π
Off days on the move
Between cities, finding me
Missing one cityβ
β
This evening we sat down in a cafe which is never my favourite to do. A new friend said βSingapore is the least favourite city of mine.β and I didnβt mind. Yet suddenly something knocked on my heart; it triggered me to miss a home.
The orchids that greet me with no complaint. The books that wait for me patiently. The laundry that stand by until I let them sit nicely in the cupboard. The floor that shines after some mopping. The air that hugs me through rain and shine. The warm feeling of safety and security.
How I miss myself in a home which I officially call a home. A weird feeling about Singapore that is truly now to me a home.
See you soon, my humble abode. π
Salaam.

Garden of the death
Where pray and wish are whispered
To eternityβ
β




Hello, dear friendship.
This ship is sailing smoothly,
Storms donβt ruin our cruise.
β
Four are (fake) backpackers. One is (true) camper. We all sail together in a ship called friendship.
Alfatihah.
π



Donβt let anything and anyone be a happiness snatcher even if they hurt you unintentionally or intentionally.
β
Feel good is successfully deciphering the codes in my life.


The green yard behind
Is where greets and smiles soft-land
On the plate and glass.
β




Wondered about home.
Has wandered finding a home.
Sheβs learnt sheβs a home.
β
Feel good is feel home wherever she is.



Good chirp of two birds
Fill the air with random songs
Above golden trees.
β
Time flies when we spend it with those we love. How would I not thank this life for giving me abundance of them? Good to have a holiday at home before spending more holidays outdoor faraway from them after this. π
I am blessed. π

Excitement rises.
A dog runs after food bag
Full of dental sticks.
β
If you donβt feel good, walk a dog and run with it when it runs for food. Youβll feel a real excitement. Trust me.
Wishing to feel good every single second like a happy dog. π Prepare good saving of energy!

About a nation
Thatβs almost collapsed and dead.
Life has a cycle.
β
Holiday is always a time to have a small discussion about trivial facts that grows to a more serious discussion about bigger things like a damaged bridge topic growing to a discussion about a nation that starts to collapse slowly and surely.
Nothing is forever. Even if you think you are better, smarter, swifter and richer; it will end either with your fall or your death whichever comes first. How cruel! No, thatβs just a cycle.

Sweet smile always blooms
To season and deck each day.
Keep it, donβt waste it.
β

My world lies within
Wrapped by the senses without.
A hidden heavenβ
β

Colours make a day
Worth celebrating. Live it.
Donβt regret a bit.
β

Terraced hilly fields
Build levels, reduce runoff.
Beautifully strongβ
β


How good is friendship?
As good as age of a friend
Whose food transforms taste.
β



Good roots are strong roots
Supporting those on the soil.
They wonβt be betrayed.
β
This trip is incredibly beautiful. Meeting best friends is more than anything. We talk. We laugh. We eat. We visit places. We engage with people.
One of my best friends who will be my neighbour in my humble abode is one of best human beings Iβve ever known. She lives to humbly serve humanity. She dedicates her life to help the underprivileged. She is so patient about what others do to her and always in understanding mode. She is so passionate in doing what she is doing to help others.
Among all her non profit projects that are my favourite is opening library in a small village that is functioning as youth center at the same time and supporting buruh gendong (traditional female labours who are paid to carry things either by sellers or buyers in Yogyakarta traditional markets, most of them are senior) in some traditional markets in Yogyakarta. If time allows me to live as long as I wish, our agreement is I will teach free classes of English, Japanese, leadership and management system in her youth center, while occasionally going with her from one market to another to greet the buruh gendong. Yet as an artist she is also teaching (mostly) women on how to make artistic products for sale to support themselves financially.
In this trip we discuss a lot about what we should do to ourselves and others but we canβt because of immovable blockages. We also talk about how we can feel good no matter bad a situation is. We talk about what will happen if the youth are not aware of what lies in their future at the same time we concern about how children around us get mature faster than we did before. And all always last long although with only a glass of tea, a cup of Javanese coffee and some pieces of local snack.
Life is too precious to focus on what doesnβt serve us good anymore. Life is too short to lament of any loss that is truly never loss. Life is too grand to just be sad of how that that we love disrespects us. Life is just too beautiful to consider what is not real.
So thankful for how real my best friends are in helping others. So thankful to be part of their spirit. So thankful that we are ordinary people in this grand life. So thankful that we are a grain of sand in the vast shore. So thankful that we accept who we are. So thankful that we are strong roots for each other.
Thank you, dear friend. It is good to always have a question βso what is our plan and action?β π
Alfatihah.

What will you do on one bright day? Anything but feel no good.
β

Always love this city
Where work is in moving cars,
Finished in toll gates.
β
What is Jakarta about? Heavy traffic? Better in some way. Flood? Better in some way. People? Always happy, optimistic and witty no matter what!
Nothing beats feel home. π


Ripples break the face
On the lake. Beauty remains
In the loverβs heart.
β
A teacher asked whether there could be two Layla for one Majnun.
Everyone in the class knew the answer. There is only one Layla for one Majnun. That Majnun and that Laylaβ
Salaam.
What colour is soul?
When the call is here, listen.
Skin colour is off.
β
Watching βSoulβ again and still finding it refreshing π
Deaccelerate,
Accelerate on the road.
Life is not a race.
β
Fasting is a very familiar way of life to Javanese. Called pasa or poso, fasting in Javanese culture is always related to the effort to self align. Many Javanese like doing fasting with or without meditation (tapa brata or topo broto) depending on their commitment.
While Javanese Muslim do at least one month of fasting per year in Ramadhan, fasting in Javanese culture itself came even much earlier before Islam was introduced. While in Islam fasting is between dawn to dusk and the same restriction is commonly applied to all kinds of fasting, Javanese fasting is more varied both in term of period and restriction.
Fasting helps Javanese slow down the pace in their mind, regulate the speed of their ambitious behaviour upon life goals, train themselves to be patient.
There are several kinds of fasting in Javanese culture that are still practiced by relatively many nowadays.
1. Regular fasting
This fasting is done only from dawn to dusk like the Islamic fasting. This is a common practice, many Javanese parents use this kind of fasting to train their children about how to manage their immediate excessive desires and concentration in under pressure situation. I remember when we were elementary and high schoolers, we were instructed by parents to do fasting on Monday and Thursday during yearly school testing weeks. Yes, I felt more focused on my study as I had to prioritise tasks to save energy. Brilliant!
2. Mutih
Mutih is derived from the word putih (white in Javanese, Indonesian, Malay). During this fasting, a person is restricted to eat other than white rice and fresh water for 24 hours started either at dawn or dusk. Ordinary Javanese can do it for one day, three or seven. Yet more advanced (usually senior) Javanese would extend the period as per commitment.
3. Ngasrep or nganyep
Ngasrep is derived from the word asrep that means cool or cold; while nganyep from the word anyep means tasteless. In this kind of fasting the food and drink should be all cool and tasteless. The person is suggested to eat only boiled vegetable without adding taste (salt, sugar, oil, sauces, etc) and drink fresh water. It is mostly done in three days.
3. Ngrowot
Ngrowot is a word derived from the word krowot that means Javanese common carbo source except rice. The person who does this fasting will only eat carbo non rice like sweet potato, suwek (konjac), gembili, gembolo (English pleaseβ¦.), taro, cassava and other tubers.
4. Ngebleng
Ngebleng means staying in; so doing this, a person will do regular fasting but very limited food intake allowed without leaving room or house, not meeting anyone, just doing meditation or doing household chores without distraction from anyone. Someone can do it three and seven days and forty days. Not many are doing this as this is a challenging one: not easy to find a place. This fasting is quite heavy because it does not allow sufficient food intake for a long time.
5. Pati geni (pati: turned off, geni: fire)
It literally means βfire turned offβ. This is the highest level of Javanese fasting as the restriction applied really tests the personβs very high commitment: s/he is not allowed to eat, drink, sleep including fall asleep and see any light both artificial and natural. How long? The shortest is 24 hours, maximum unlimited. Note: if s/he sleeps or falls asleep, s/he has to restart the fasting.
There are other kinds of fasting in Javanese culture which were done by very limited people and have been left by many due to the impracticality such as pasa ngidang (from the word kidang or deer) in which a person is only allowed to eat raw foliage like a deer, pasa ngalong (from the word kalong or bat) only eating ripe fruit from the tree, pasa kungkum (bathing up to chin level either in the pool, river or shallow sea) without eating or drinking, etc. There are probably other kinds of fasting as Javanese used to be very creative in βfasting engineeringβ hahahaβ¦.
Javanese believe that with fasting they will connect better to themselves and inevitably with the ultimate power of the universe. They will usually become confident people without showing off. Those fasting committed people βif doing it right and without evil intensionβ will be a highly spiritual people and voluntarily dedicated to environment and people.
Javanese believe that this type of people bring blessings to the surroundings although blessings are not always tangibly seen. The blessings can be as simple as peaceful daily life with little conflict,
Do we still have many of them? In very silent villages around Java island we might still find a few. They are traditional farmers who feel the need to connect with the ultimate power as only that can help them manage their humble farming that is now severely industrialised and exploited.
Hope we still have them in silence. Amen.
Alfatihah.

River is flowing.
Stuck, it is lack of clean air,
Home of mosquitoes.
β
Keep flowing and feeling good no matter what. Some people think that is a suggestion to someone weak. Nope! That is a sentence to someone who knows that life is so abundant and doesnβt offer thing except feel-good. Kindly know. π
Yet those who donβt know interpret most things only from what the senses capture in the surface.
May all beings be happy.

See you, dear neighbour.
The old prays, the new welcomes.
Good memories stay.
β
One of my neighbours move to a new place as they need an apartment with 3 bedrooms after having a new baby. We met at the basement carpark when they were stuffing cartons and stuffs to the Lalamove lorry.
The wife gave me their new address that is near my office so it can be easy to visit them someday.
We pray for your nice warm new home. We bless our 4-year neighbourhood. Thank you.
Salamβ¦. ππΌ

A dream is shadow
Who is loyal to the light,
Acting as the dark.
β
Weekend is always the second best after everything even when it is cloudy and full of rain everyday. π

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