graphs of my Universe
When the road meets its end,
I wish
That this heart is letting go,
These steps are finished
So this soul flies in joy
To
You.
I want a pillow
That is white,
Soft,
Strong,
Wise
From
You.
My time will adjust to
Yours
That is as fast as light,
As fluid as water,
As peaceful as a night
With
You.
—
♥️
How do you feel loved?
Not so much effort,
It's just a smile,
Or a cuddle from a dog.
I'm loved,
I'm loved
Just because
Life loves,
Love lives
Here
Now.
—
before going back to Singapore, i visited my friend in Lod Tunduh – she has 2 dogs and both love me so much, wherever i sit, both will sneak around like this!
About love
That throbs like screaming wound,
Craving for nothing but
Its own
Genuineness,
Clarity,
Loyality.
No reciprocity
No repayment
It hurts.
It hurts.
Yet it is noble
And true.
It is endless overflow
Of spring water
To the river
Flowing
To the
Sea.
—
the driver drove me these 2 days has 3 kids; 1 is pursuising police education, 1 is studying to be a technician, 1 is 10 years old
he and his wife work super hard to make their children’s dreams come true — they have double jobs and spend most of their time working
that old man and his loyal wife truly have reflected what love is, reminding me to my parents and what they did for their children
thank you for the love lesson that makes me believe how love changes things
❣️
Perfect, Beloved?
Universe dancing pattern
With risks and blessings--
—
there is no need to be perfect to be beautiful — it is just about expressing one’s self genuinely
picture from Pinterest
Now here, Beloved
Is the best nowhere to go.
Breathing, close your eyes.
—
gethuk sukun with grated palm sugar 💕 for today’s breakfast! long weekend will be full of home cooking and some fun now and here
happy long weekend fully home…. no no fully home, maybe biking or walking too
waking up hungry, i went to kitchen this morning; re-steam the sukun then put one big slice in the mortar
yesterday aunty cleaning service knocked my door and showed me a big sukun (breasfruit) saying “Ma’am, would you mind cutting this into 2, one for me and and for you” — she promised me to give some sukun harvested from a tree at the green swimming pool; of course i did it happily! thank you very much, Aunty! 💕
i loved to eat it steamed or fried back home — can i grow it in my backyard? 😍
About sukun
I’m amazed
Of the days
Passing by like trees on a street marching fast when I ride a car,they’re forgotten.
But you came like a red tree bending down
Telling me “Stop! I remember you.”
I’m amazed
Of the days
Passing by like white clouds in the sky swimming when I look up, they’re adored.
But you came like silver cloud sprinkling light
Telling me “Yess…. We will meet again.”
I’m amazed
Of the days
Passing by like regrets deep
down in this heart when seeing a name, it’s untouched.
But you came like a saint forgiving me
Telling me “Take care and be safe.”
——
I remember that day when I took care of 2 dogs in a construction site near my office — now they both are relocated to other construction sites 💕
a very good friend said he remembered that I used to visit dorms whose residents took care of some dogs — I’m glad that someone remembers me that way 🙏🏼 thank you so much
I am not taking care of dogs anymore, but only donate to no-killing dog shelters where stray dogs have their days free as dogs without abuse and starvation — may all dogs be happy 💕 and may the one reminding me of a good memory with the two dogs near my office be happy
sincerely ♥️
When someone says cheese,
It doesn’t always mean cheese.
It is just cheese said,
Not cheese tasted.
——
they thought I took picture of theirs after a long walk, actually they were wrong 🤭 they wasted some cheese 😃
This path is smooth,
Many have traveled on it.
A lot of hearts were here
Singing hopes through time.
When sun goes down,
This path is glowing.
Many souls were here
Whispering love through space.
Sun will rise again,
Another day will come.
This heart is here
Promising to grow with the flow.
This heart is deciding
Every step is counted
And dedicated to grow prettier,
Making the path smoother.
——
what’s broken can be amended and still beautiful
seeing how life is generous, I can fall in love with the same face again and again; yet when health is getting from bad to worse, I feel this heart is broken now and then
yet life is still generous, so I decide to fall in love everyday 💕
It hurts when released.
In heart.
It hurts when kept.
In all.
And so I released.
All.
——-
I sent blessings and prayers to those passing away not known by their family — whoever and wherever you are all, I am one of those remember you as a family member 💕 May all beings be happy
I believe they are released from any unhappiness
🙏🏼
It is not out there
What is searched is here waiting.
A centred spark—
——
keep centred — thanks, Beloved for all the blessings
💕
no one can shake an ancient rock
Luxury, my love
What makes one feel fortunate,
Feel responsible.
Luxury, my love
Not brand, not price tag. It’s mind
Bursting new spirits.
Luxury, my love
You can bluff but you can’t trade
With a true spirit.
Luxury, my love
What you’ve failed, what you’ve too learnt
About the deep wounds.
——
not the Aman Jiwo Hotel making it luxurious, it is Borobudur temple, Menoreh Hill and all the Javanese villages and tradition conserved as surrounding is the real luxury
You are not a star.
Never.
A star brightly rises.
A star magnificently sets.
You might be upset
As a star is what is adored
By many.
Don’t be a star,
It is born,
It dies.
A seen star is thousands years of its history—
Illusion.
You are the earth.
Always.
Who lets the sun rise
And lets the sun set
Sincerely.
The earth is loved
By many.
When I see the earth
I see a present moment
Of everything about it.
I am grounded to earth.
It is where I live, love and laugh
Sincerely.
You are
A star not.
——
a star is a dream; the earth is where I live, love and laugh sincerely
Note: picture is from Pinterest; I wanted a Java island on the earth with stars above yet could not find any 🙂
It’s salt and pepper
Seasoning life with some taste.
Spicing up the dreams—
——
salt and pepper
The bow that launches
Is the arrow that is shot:
An exhibit by the
One
That honour is inevitably
Gorgeous
For that
Respecting
From that
Witnessing.
Salute to the bowstring.
——
I have learnt how to genuinely respect my teachers and other human beings even more after learning meditation in Bali Usada — I humbly thank you, Pak Merta Ada. I bow to the divine in you and all my fellow Tapa Brata participants 🙏🏼
it was a sunny day so Pak Merta Ada invited us all to end the Tapa Brata with 1-hour meditation under the blessed bodhi tree — hope health and calmness be granted to all of us ♥️
Pak Ishak giving his testimony about the noble silence, Ibu Lady his wife video shooting him — the oldest participants in this Tapa Brata 2 we all cordially respect
canang under a tree as a daily respect to it for being part of the environment protection
torch ginger is the most grown herb in Bali Usada meditation center — yummy and fragrant when cooked
💚
Three of us stayed in bungalow #4 for 12 days of which in 1st-11th we didn’t talk to each other. We just took turn of using bathroom, switching on/off light at 3:30am and 10:00pm, making sure towel racks were sunbathed, replenishing toilet tissue, cleaning bathroom. All were done in silence in between meditation sessions, physical exercises, meals and lectures. Only at the last night after Tapa Brata was officially summed up, we could not stop sharing about our life journey until 2:00am.
Tami is 32, Fitri is 33 and I am 48: I am the oldest but I am the baby in meditation — they meditated 1.5 hours without changing position, I did but could not stop “ngereog” in the last 5 to 10 minutes.
My age doesn’t mean anything with these 2 ladies of harmonious mind.
See you again, my little sisters! Anicca! 💕
ngereog literally means performing reog dance; Tami used the word to describe someone’s intense movement during meditation due to muscle stress 😂
Ibu Lady, Srimurni and I showered by the morning light right after morning meditation and no shower (yet) — Srimurni was one of those could not stop talking to me after the Tapa Brata 😄
pure friendship is such a magical bond 💕
Once again
Is a bonus
Becoming allowance
As it is
Again and again.
I wish another
After another
Again
And again
Until it is
Time to end.
——
‘M 48th tomorrow. ‘Ve never thought I would reach this age.
When I was 9, I almost died. When I was 24, I almost died. I thought I would die at 44. It’s been huge blessings to be given another year.
another door before another door, 48 means a door to victory
My wish is simpler this year. After all failures and broken hearts, I wish for a warm home and a good job. Those two mean happiness to me. With a warm home, I can host my family and good friends. With a good job, I can leverage my role to help others around me improve their well being.
Amen.
Thank you!
Life spiralling in
Revisiting same axis--
Deep understanding
—-
Javanese dragon (nogo, naga, makara, makoro) is described as a magically strong creature. It is a giant snake. It wears a crown adorned with gemstones and hair. At times Javanese dragon is pictured as wearing jewelry like dangling earrings, necklace, ring at the tail.
Not only Javanese mythology has dragon in its mythology; Chinese and European do, too . Although in general Javanese, Chinese and European dragons are all mythologically the same natural roles and functions, each of those three is unique in itself. Javanese dragon has no feet and wears crown and jewelry. Chinese dragon has four feet and long moustache above its mouth. European dragon is more like a giant long-necked lizard with big wings.
The most dragon in Javanese mythology is Antaboga or Sanghyang Antaboga, a meditating (sleeping) giant snake residing beneath the earth.
modified Antaboga, the most wellknown dragon in Javanese mythology — the wing is occasionally off
Antaboga (useful link, I prefer to out this one among many because this does not include too much unnecessary foreign culture): https://id.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antaboga
Sanghyang Antaboga, in Javanese leather puppet (wayang) with no wings
In Javanese culture dragon is a symbol or fertility and blessings. It is considered as water creature that is able to optimize the water quality and make the soil fertile. With the fertile soil, agriculture the inland part Java’s most popular life sector has been benefited and blessed with the good quality of water and soil.
Dewi Sri (Javanese goddess of fertility and agriculture) is mythologically alleged to be the incarnation of one of Sanghyang Antaboga’s eggs.
Dragon also signifies protection and patronage. Protection is more about physical security. Patronage is more about mental and spiritual security. Dragon carvings are commonly found at around old building gates, entrances, stair banisters to protect the buildings from those entering.
Sanghyang Antaboga is said to be the protector of the weak and the good. He is crowned as the lord of underworld in Javanese mythology.
dragon in the stairs flight in Candi Kidal
Talking about dragon….
I just received a new batik sheet from Ibu Tien. The pattern is called Parang Nogo. Parang Nogo is a batik pattern combining parang as the background with nogo (Javanese dragon) as “ceplok” or highlighted/clustered pattern.
Parang as recently discussed is about not giving up, sustainability, agility, noble ideals and loyality. Nogo itself as earlier introduced is about protection, patronage, fertility and blessings.
So Parang Nogo is a pattern that is intended to combine the spirit of all those values into one work of art.
Parang as recently discussed is about not giving up, sustainability, agility, noble ideals and loyality. Nogo itself as earlier introduced is about protection, patronage, fertility and blessings.
Sultan Hamengkubuwono X in Parang Nogo (the Yogyakarta Sultanate cum the Governor of DIY Yogyakarta)
As a “batik larangan” (batik with sacred pattern that can be worn only by royal family for certain occasions/function), Parang Nogo was meant to be worn by king and his family as a reminder to hold and practice the values attached in the Parang Nogo. Their behaviour and attitudes could give assurance to the people that the kingdom was managed and protected by trusted human beings. Yogyakarta king still wears batik Parang Nogo in some occasions; probably to assure the people that things are well managed under his governance.
Parang Nogo – handmade, my collection from Ibu Tien
Makara, the sea dragon with a lion in its mouth in Candi Borobudur
How would you greet the dragon within you? The coiling coloured energies sleeping to be awaken–
Salaam.
How many stones, Love
Do I have to leap and count?
I’m happy. To home—
——
my days are like stepping stones to leap for home
A limit is lines
Where start and finish collide.
Saved energy mode—
How do you call you
Loving expecting no pay?
Only the mother—
——
today i called her after she said that she could not sleep remembering Vito, the grandson who just passed away
this lady is impressively patient and loving her grandchildren; losing him has never been easy
she tried to hide her cry from me but her voice could not lie
if i can tell anyone about someone to never forget, it must be about mother
love her, don’t disappoint her ever again as there might have been a lot of troubles from us when we were younger
i love you, Ibu
This life’s pilgrimage
Spiralling in to the core
Of old house within.
——
a mosque in Tokyo — Tokyo Jamii (Camii)
entrance — assalamualaikum, Tokyo Camii
mosque area – 2nd floor
i still know how to do sholat tahiyatul masjid (praying to respect mosque), recite QS Arrahman that is full of gratitudes and praises so i did it
the feel was exactly like when i pray in the temples and shrines
a feeling of home 💕
then a beautiful sister helped me with photo taking — she made me much taller, slimmer yet less me 😁 thank you 💕
time to fly home — thank you, Tokyo 💕
you make me love myself more and more, with all the wounds and scars
Rain has no regret.
It’s sharp needles jabbed to earth—
Wildly seeped for life.
——
even wrong decision tasted nice! trust me the chili didn’t even have heat in it 😊 no regret at all
There are two gateways
To enter one gallery
Full of works of art.
——
my left side of face is sadder, bitter and negative with which i’ve been made more and more accepting to unwelcoming sides of life 💕
my right is happier, sweeter and optimistic that has persuaded me to be more and more letting go of what is not working after some good deed 💕
whatever unpleasant and pleasant things others say about me, i feel complete with some gap that might not need to be bridged simply to show that imperfection is a perfect gift in life 💕
Note: the picture at the bottom is batik scarf designed by Dudung Aliesyahbana, a batik maestro from Pekalongan, Central Java
Dark sky reveals stars
That gleam sending signs of life
That glows silently.
——
rawon aka dark soup that has become the most delivious soup on earth
i left it in the fridge to fly back to Indonesia on Jul 30 and today arriving home my first after unpacking was heating it up for my lunch and dinner 💕
amazingly yummy!
A pair of strong wings
Bring me to a land of thoughts
Where hope shines the light.
——
landed home after burying hope to grow with flowers and spreading love with billowing incense smoke
This heart is leaking.
Droplets of love are dripping,
Fertilising life.
——
About wedang uwuh
wedang uwuh, a favourite beverage in breezy night of Jogja
inside wedang uwuh
A rope might help
To travel to the other side,
Yet it might be not.
Being in the other side
Is not always wise
As a wise is
That that means
Decision for the right.
Right time
Right place
Right person
That might be
Not right:
Not always right amount
Not always right distance
Not always right calculation.
This rope is right
Only when it is about
Knowing that pulling or releasing
Are both hurting
Right where and when it is decided to.
this?
this one is wiser for now 💕
might not be the right one, yet being relaxed and easy is sometimes the right one for now — i just don’t want to think too much; wisdom is not always hard 💕
I won’t, Beloved
Take you from what completes you.
Your here now is that, not this.
This garden with lemongrass
Is my here and now I love.
——
Ibu sent me this picture that she took by herself after forever saying “I can’t take good pictures like you, don’t ask me any” — 3 slices of some cake I bought online (sold through Twitter) and delivered directly to her ♥️
she said “thank you for the ‘spikoek’, it is amazingly yummy”
my mother’s love is so huge that i don’t realise like seeing a sheet of paper from 1 millimeter away 💕
i am enough with a few humble friends that truly understand me so i won’t anymore beg friendship from that not even wanting to know who i am 😁
Ants wake up each day.
I do,too. The sun sees us
To bless a restart.
——
one busy ant in one bright morning
Surprisingly
Life throws one surprise
After another
Of all types
To me who is cushioned
Only by submission
And genuineness.
How generous
Life is!
How intriguing it is
At the same time!
Dear, Life.
I don’t want any other way to love
You.
——
Life is full of astonishments to me. The most recent one was when I met the architect of my Jogja base home in Jazz Gunung Bromo without planning. I happened to know that she has been the bamboo stage designer of the annual jazz festival for the past 15 years! Yes, she is an architect cum bamboo artist.
We decided to ride a jeep together to see the sunrise the next morning before she returned to Jogja and I enjoyed my jazzy night.
A short fun meet up with a friend it became.
Thank you!
🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
feeling so blessed to have met so many humble human beings in my life and it has made my life even more wonderful
Morning
My only time
That can be broken
But not damaged
Day and night
My only time
That can be merry
Without celebration
Life
My only time
That can kindle hope
Sweeping hatred away
——
the red in the tip of east side 💕
old jeeps to climb up to 3 spots to see the daily sunrise, this one is the lowest spot
Mount Bromo and her neighbourhood in one bright morning
the other side of the sea of sand
vertically
rike jokanan 
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