What colour is soul?
When the call is here, listen.
Skin colour is off.
β
Watching βSoulβ again and still finding it refreshing π
graphs of my Universe
What colour is soul?
When the call is here, listen.
Skin colour is off.
β
Watching βSoulβ again and still finding it refreshing π
Cleaning up the yard
From dry leaves and broken twigs.
Summer is coming.
β

Deaccelerate,
Accelerate on the road.
Life is not a race.
β
Fasting is a very familiar way of life to Javanese. Called pasa or poso, fasting in Javanese culture is always related to the effort to self align. Many Javanese like doing fasting with or without meditation (tapa brata or topo broto) depending on their commitment.
While Javanese Muslim do at least one month of fasting per year in Ramadhan, fasting in Javanese culture itself came even much earlier before Islam was introduced. While in Islam fasting is between dawn to dusk and the same restriction is commonly applied to all kinds of fasting, Javanese fasting is more varied both in term of period and restriction.
Fasting helps Javanese slow down the pace in their mind, regulate the speed of their ambitious behaviour upon life goals, train themselves to be patient.
There are several kinds of fasting in Javanese culture that are still practiced by relatively many nowadays.
1. Regular fasting
This fasting is done only from dawn to dusk like the Islamic fasting. This is a common practice, many Javanese parents use this kind of fasting to train their children about how to manage their immediate excessive desires and concentration in under pressure situation. I remember when we were elementary and high schoolers, we were instructed by parents to do fasting on Monday and Thursday during yearly school testing weeks. Yes, I felt more focused on my study as I had to prioritise tasks to save energy. Brilliant!
2. Mutih
Mutih is derived from the word putih (white in Javanese, Indonesian, Malay). During this fasting, a person is restricted to eat other than white rice and fresh water for 24 hours started either at dawn or dusk. Ordinary Javanese can do it for one day, three or seven. Yet more advanced (usually senior) Javanese would extend the period as per commitment.
3. Ngasrep or nganyep
Ngasrep is derived from the word asrep that means cool or cold; while nganyep from the word anyep means tasteless. In this kind of fasting the food and drink should be all cool and tasteless. The person is suggested to eat only boiled vegetable without adding taste (salt, sugar, oil, sauces, etc) and drink fresh water. It is mostly done in three days.
3. Ngrowot
Ngrowot is a word derived from the word krowot that means Javanese common carbo source except rice. The person who does this fasting will only eat carbo non rice like sweet potato, suwek (konjac), gembili, gembolo (English pleaseβ¦.), taro, cassava and other tubers.
4. Ngebleng
Ngebleng means staying in; so doing this, a person will do regular fasting but very limited food intake allowed without leaving room or house, not meeting anyone, just doing meditation or doing household chores without distraction from anyone. Someone can do it three and seven days and forty days. Not many are doing this as this is a challenging one: not easy to find a place. This fasting is quite heavy because it does not allow sufficient food intake for a long time.
5. Pati geni (pati: turned off, geni: fire)
It literally means βfire turned offβ. This is the highest level of Javanese fasting as the restriction applied really tests the personβs very high commitment: s/he is not allowed to eat, drink, sleep including fall asleep and see any light both artificial and natural. How long? The shortest is 24 hours, maximum unlimited. Note: if s/he sleeps or falls asleep, s/he has to restart the fasting.
There are other kinds of fasting in Javanese culture which were done by very limited people and have been left by many due to the impracticality such as pasa ngidang (from the word kidang or deer) in which a person is only allowed to eat raw foliage like a deer, pasa ngalong (from the word kalong or bat) only eating ripe fruit from the tree, pasa kungkum (bathing up to chin level either in the pool, river or shallow sea) without eating or drinking, etc. There are probably other kinds of fasting as Javanese used to be very creative in βfasting engineeringβ hahahaβ¦.
Javanese believe that with fasting they will connect better to themselves and inevitably with the ultimate power of the universe. They will usually become confident people without showing off. Those fasting committed people βif doing it right and without evil intensionβ will be a highly spiritual people and voluntarily dedicated to environment and people.
Javanese believe that this type of people bring blessings to the surroundings although blessings are not always tangibly seen. The blessings can be as simple as peaceful daily life with little conflict,
Do we still have many of them? In very silent villages around Java island we might still find a few. They are traditional farmers who feel the need to connect with the ultimate power as only that can help them manage their humble farming that is now severely industrialised and exploited.
Hope we still have them in silence. Amen.
Alfatihah.

River is flowing.
Stuck, it is lack of clean air,
Home of mosquitoes.
β
Keep flowing and feeling good no matter what. Some people think that is a suggestion to someone weak. Nope! That is a sentence to someone who knows that life is so abundant and doesnβt offer thing except feel-good. Kindly know. π
Yet those who donβt know interpret most things only from what the senses capture in the surface.
May all beings be happy.

See you, dear neighbour.
The old prays, the new welcomes.
Good memories stay.
β
One of my neighbours move to a new place as they need an apartment with 3 bedrooms after having a new baby. We met at the basement carpark when they were stuffing cartons and stuffs to the Lalamove lorry.
The wife gave me their new address that is near my office so it can be easy to visit them someday.
We pray for your nice warm new home. We bless our 4-year neighbourhood. Thank you.
Salamβ¦. ππΌ

A dream is shadow
Who is loyal to the light,
Acting as the dark.
β
Weekend is always the second best after everything even when it is cloudy and full of rain everyday. π

Letβs meet
Under a tree that we climbed when we were children.
The tree will say
βHere are the children who perched like birds the whole day to eat my fruit.β
Letβs meet
At the river whose bank we used to build sand figures.
The sand will say
βHere are the children who tap and slap me to look stunning.β
Letβs meet
At the crossroad where we departed to where our bikes agreed to go.
The road will say
βHere are the children who noisily negotiated which place to visitβ.
Letβs meet
Once again before the next once-again.
The rendezvous will say
βHere are the children who have refused to lose excitement in life and continued to be young in heart,
Even when age has taken some muscles away.β
β

What truly exists is whatβs tangible. Nope. What truly exists is stories. Nope. What truly exists is belief. Nope. What truly exists is interconnection. Nope. What truly exists is mind. Nope. So what truly exists?
Look inside. Layer by layerβ¦.
β
My mother said
You were a cute baby
Even when crying.
My mother said
You were a beautiful toddler
Running around,
Bubbling all words.
My mother said
You were a cheerful girl
Cycling around
Climbing up trees
Playing drowning in the river.
My mother said
You were a beautiful woman
Arguing every ideas from me
Showing me your strong desires
Moving to where life brought us.
My mother said
You are an adult woman
Enjoying life differently from me
Giving me what youβve promised to be
Loving what you love with no doubt
Living life with smiles and warm heart.
My mother said
I love you
I bless you
Wherever you are.
Youβre loved
Youβre blessed
However you are.
β
My mother called, we laughed a lot today. She said I laughed as I did when I was a baby. How happy I have been to be her daughter. Lots of hugs and kisses, Ibu.
Alfatihah.
π

Follow the cycles
As driven by wind through path.
Move with heart and soul.
β


The earth is loyal
To the sun, and vice versa.
A very good factβ
β
Note: A fact is a fact. It is neutral in its nature. Good or bad is a label given by human beings in their favour. The best option is to responsibly respond to the fact to stay in good mood.

Eyes see colour hue
Splattering on a palette
Ready to draw taste.
β
Excited for my kitchen will be! πππ



Blooming orchids show
Vibrant hues waited a while
Without counting time.
β
I think so much surprise comes to us because we just do without craving for the expected result. Not 100% correct, but that is most what has happened to me. βΊοΈ
Welcome, blooming flowers. You have been as stubborn as the gardener. God bless you! π
Sunday is full of cleaning, laundry and sweet surprises!
Salaam.

Bright Eyes are blinking
Lazily greeting the dusk
Hiding mister sun.
β

A path to a place
Is walked through trees and uphills.
A meadow is waiting
Opening another path
To a warm home filled with love.
β
My friend sent me three photos of our beloved βsimbahβ (those senior people who are considered wise or those who have grandchildren) – Javanese). Most people call these simbah βbatik makerβ because they make batik to earn a living. We both call them βbatik artistβ. More than that through what weβve seen and heard about them, weβve considered they are artists of their life. How they embrace their humble life gracefully and consciously has always amazed both of us. They live like calm river flowing to the sea. They donβt struggle against what others think about or do to them. They live as if there is no hindrance and disturbance in life.
When my friend told me some things about those three honourable ladies, I secretly harvested some lessons. It is very critical reminder for me who is still very much attached to a feeling of (accidentally) underestimated and (slightly) humiliated because of one petty case. These three artists of life have silently told me to let go.
What a loud shot in a quiet weekend!
No apology is needed. All is gradually let go through my own wish and willingness. This is my life and I only want to be the artist of my own life. π
Thank you, artists of life. Youβre blessed. π
Salaam.



The biggest secrets
Are sitting on the eyelids
Without disguising.
β


Where is peace on earth?
In deep sea, blue sky, green land,
Kind heart and here now.
β

I love
You
Without throbbing heart
I love
You
Without nervous mind
I love
You
Without going date
I love
You
Without touching each other
I love
You
Without intense conversation
I love
You
With the breeze of mountains
I love
You
With the wave of oceans
I love
You
With the dew of mornings
I love
You
With the sound of music
I love
You
With the hue of flowers
I love
You
With the flow of dreams
I love
You
With all whose reason is unseen.
How rejoicing and exciting.
(The Loverβs love to the Beloved)

Dark night starts early
In fall when red leaves sway down
To earth cooling off.
β

While normally talking about spirituality and self love, one day one bestie and I conversed about money. To me she appears much more calculating than all of us in the circle. She manages her money very carefully and (of course) influences her friends to do so.
βIf we feel ready with both predictable and measured emergency issues, we can feel good in more time than not.β 100% agree!
She is one of two besties teaching us to save at least 12-month income for emergency, fully pay all the loan the soonest possible, stay liquid rather than fixed (assets), not lend any assets to anyone anymore even with oneβs emergency reason. I stubbornly disagreed with last one.
And she said all should be done soon because 2023 seems gloomy.
I didnβt take her words until watching a bunch of YouTube videos about financial analysis and forecast by experts and practitioners for the past two years.
Not hoping the darkness happens but there is no harm to prepare the umbrella before it rains.
Please save us. Amenβ¦
Lines of orange trees
Tell stories of a city
With its bright fruit juice.
β

Opening the door,
She finds books and thesaurus
Stacked high to the sky.
β
What else is this life mainly but library? Read your books! π
βRead your booksβ is excepted from one Quran verse βRead your records (the word kitabaka can also mean your books or your scrolls). You alone are sufficient this day to take account of yourselfβ that implies self observation, self evaluation, self assessment, self correction.
Ouch! An internal audit it is β becoming the auditor and the auditee: acting different roles in the same place using different points of view. Doable and sustainable! π
May all beings be happy.


A hole curls sweetly
As a center of a whole.
Delicious truthβ
β

Steps measure long roads
Where historians write stories
Tracking their own mind.
β
History isnβt about whatβs written only but it is also about whatβs tied to myths and folklores. Reading history books by ignoring whatβs verbally circulated by people through myths and folklores is like describing a rose through picture: failing to experience the touch and the fragrance. People are always the actual sources of historyβ without them history doesnβt exist.
History versions are as many as heads on earth as all people have their own life history related to certain incidents in the world; not all of them though write. Many save their history in head and heart with different reasonsβ no time, no tools, no courage! My blog is my history book (that to some brilliant people looks like full of unnecessary complaints and cheap experiences). I love my history book how much ever people laugh at it. Hey! When people laugh at it, it means my comedy works. π
Salaam.





Loud enough and clearβ
Thunder strikes and rain begins.
Children play outside.
β
Your signs are well read, well noted, well understood. Wellβ¦. π

On your birthday, Love,
Magic sends sweet messages
And flowers and gifts.
β
Ibu turns 78 today. It is a 78 years of human beings, 54 years of a wife, 53 years of a mother of 5. 47 years of being my motherβ maybe the most annoying of facing this one rascal among 5 angels. π She might not be always happy being her but she is full of sweet smiles and words of encouragement.
If her life is a painting, it will be a colourful canvas full of fragrant tropical flowers and powerful herbs that can be concocted as medicines especially for her family and friends. Beautiful and full of healing for othersβ No wonder her family and neighbours highly respect her.
Ibu, I know you never like big celebration and thatβs why we only send stupid messages on your birthday. But I know you always miss us to annoy you and thatβs why we give surprises! Much love today and forever!
Salaamβ¦

Oct 9, 2022
River flows. Wind blows.
Birds perch on a twig and chirp,
Enjoying good food.
β
Life is not really WYSIWYG, there are layers that can be peeled off like peeling off onions layered skins.
What is seen in a river? Its flow. Whatβs behind the flow?
What is felt in a wind? Its blow. Whatβs behind the flow?
Whatβs behind the singing birds? Whatβs behind good food?
Something looking like nothing yet there are powerful layers of realities that wrap another deeper level of reality. At the end of the peeled-off onion, what is it? The eyes see βnoneβ that can be immediately ignored, the self sees βthe essenceβ that can only be understood through accepting in silence.
What an experience as a human being! Maybe this is a euphoria of being alive, or being aware? This is a good time and I will always feel good no matter what. π
Thank you for everything. π


Jazzy weekend starts
With a smile under the rain.
Iβve been missing you.
β
Background, Beloved,
Grass of meadow,
Water of lake,
Sand of desert,
Breeze of mountain,
Wave of ocean,
Trees of forest,
A spill of a secret.
Background, Beloved,
Without which
One canβt be
Fully described.
A signature
After yours trulyβ
β
Todayβs call was with a not so close friend who found a Facebook account she suspected as mine after seeing the account commented in one of her friendβs Facebook post. Slightly not a welcomed call but a good one to learn to be sweetly sarcastic to a public enemyβ
F: You should change the background photo. The current one if too plain.
Me: With what?
F: It should be a picture that describes you, the owner. You like flower, maybe you can put flowers? Or kitchen because you like cooking? Or books?
Me: This is not a personal Facebook account. Donβt own one; not needed. This one is for me to display gathering schedules and photos to family and friends.
F: An AirBnB wanna be?
Me: More or less but more a rendezvous place. Other ideas for the background photo?
F: Maybe Kraton Yogyakarta or its symbol. Or Merapi. Or Candi Boko. Anything associated to Yogyakarta well known tourist spots; your home can be one of a very interesting place for some people in that city, too. Eh, eh you can also put photos of Singapore landscapes as youβve been living there; it is to show people that you live in both places.
Me: The home is a humble place, too petty to represent or to be represented by those grand things. I prefer screenshooting the map of the surrounding like now. You see the Jiwa Jawi Restaurant? That is my backyard.
F: Nice! But you should give some luxury touch so people will be interested to visit.
Me: Thank you. Hey! Your background photo is Eiffel Tower! You want to live in Paris?
F: No, just symbol of romance. thatβs to show how romantic me and my spouse are.
Me: Maybe you should use Taj Mahal picture. I can give you mine. Thatβs more relevant.
F: Eiffel is more romantic to us. It represents modern romance.
Me: Oh, ok. (eyes rolled)
F: I like the name you give to your home. Whatβs the meaning? May we both visit and stay overnight?
Me: Thank you. The meaning is a door to those real or a door to those true. You may visit but Iβm sorry not for staying overnight. Iβll invite you for lunch with other friends someday. Not so soon though. Wait until I have a decent kitchen and long dining table so no one touches each otherβs elbows when eating
F: Would be glad to! May we both request special cookings?
Me: Ah! It is a friendly invitation not a paid lunch so I donβt accept request. The best will be served for sure.
F: Ahβ¦. Unfortunatelyβ¦. Weβd like some western food if there is.
Me: Ah.,.. Mostly served are local foods from different islands in Indonesia or a few Asian ones. Never mind. I can invite you only for a house tour minus my bed room because youβre not gonna like itβ¦. (smiled at the end of the line then excused myself immediately)
Boundary is important. We can be kind but not be fooled around.
Salaam.

She be, Beloved,
The space not the furniture,
Lets all come and go.
β
If only maturity could be implanted like nose or breast or whatever, I would still choose to get mature naturally through ageing and weakening although it takes almost half of century of struggling and pain to find only its gate. Damn late!
One maturity breakthrough of my life was when realising I should be more a βspace human beingβ (my teacher calls it βroom human beingβ) rather than a βfurniture human beingβ.
Salaamβ¦.

Come true, Beloved,
Wishes colouring this life,
Bringing love and joyβ
β
My mini daruma dolls package arrived from Japan. Now it is time to make wishes and draw the left eye.
May all beings be happy!


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