Jazzy weekend starts
With a smile under the rain.
I’ve been missing you.
—
Tag: poet
Background
Background, Beloved,
Grass of meadow,
Water of lake,
Sand of desert,
Breeze of mountain,
Wave of ocean,
Trees of forest,
A spill of a secret.
Background, Beloved,
Without which
One can’t be
Fully described.
A signature
After yours truly—
—
Today’s call was with a not so close friend who found a Facebook account she suspected as mine after seeing the account commented in one of her friend’s Facebook post. Slightly not a welcomed call but a good one to learn to be sweetly sarcastic to a public enemy—
F: You should change the background photo. The current one if too plain.
Me: With what?
F: It should be a picture that describes you, the owner. You like flower, maybe you can put flowers? Or kitchen because you like cooking? Or books?
Me: This is not a personal Facebook account. Don’t own one; not needed. This one is for me to display gathering schedules and photos to family and friends.
F: An AirBnB wanna be?
Me: More or less but more a rendezvous place. Other ideas for the background photo?
F: Maybe Kraton Yogyakarta or its symbol. Or Merapi. Or Candi Boko. Anything associated to Yogyakarta well known tourist spots; your home can be one of a very interesting place for some people in that city, too. Eh, eh you can also put photos of Singapore landscapes as you’ve been living there; it is to show people that you live in both places.
Me: The home is a humble place, too petty to represent or to be represented by those grand things. I prefer screenshooting the map of the surrounding like now. You see the Jiwa Jawi Restaurant? That is my backyard.
F: Nice! But you should give some luxury touch so people will be interested to visit.
Me: Thank you. Hey! Your background photo is Eiffel Tower! You want to live in Paris?
F: No, just symbol of romance. that’s to show how romantic me and my spouse are.
Me: Maybe you should use Taj Mahal picture. I can give you mine. That’s more relevant.
F: Eiffel is more romantic to us. It represents modern romance.
Me: Oh, ok. (eyes rolled)
F: I like the name you give to your home. What’s the meaning? May we both visit and stay overnight?
Me: Thank you. The meaning is a door to those real or a door to those true. You may visit but I’m sorry not for staying overnight. I’ll invite you for lunch with other friends someday. Not so soon though. Wait until I have a decent kitchen and long dining table so no one touches each other’s elbows when eating
F: Would be glad to! May we both request special cookings?
Me: Ah! It is a friendly invitation not a paid lunch so I don’t accept request. The best will be served for sure.
F: Ah…. Unfortunately…. We’d like some western food if there is.
Me: Ah.,.. Mostly served are local foods from different islands in Indonesia or a few Asian ones. Never mind. I can invite you only for a house tour minus my bed room because you’re not gonna like it…. (smiled at the end of the line then excused myself immediately)
Boundary is important. We can be kind but not be fooled around.
Salaam.
The Space
She be, Beloved,
The space not the furniture,
Lets all come and go.
—
If only maturity could be implanted like nose or breast or whatever, I would still choose to get mature naturally through ageing and weakening although it takes almost half of century of struggling and pain to find only its gate. Damn late!
One maturity breakthrough of my life was when realising I should be more a “space human being” (my teacher calls it “room human being”) rather than a “furniture human being”.
Salaam….
Come True
Come true, Beloved,
Wishes colouring this life,
Bringing love and joy—
—
My mini daruma dolls package arrived from Japan. Now it is time to make wishes and draw the left eye.
May all beings be happy!
Luxury
Luxurious is tea,
Detaching from everyone
But not everything—
—
Rainbow
There’s a bow, my love
With which message travels down
On a boat of joy.
—
About Us
Your face gleams in stars
I look up alone at night.
Your words shine with suns
I search in far galaxies.
Your heart sits so high,
It’s frozen. Should I leave now?
Said I to my heart.
A line of white clouds stop me.
These feet are stuck here
Standing on dewy grasses.
It’s almost morning.
Maybe you’ll wake up, I’ll see.
It’s a bird story
Finding a place called a home.
She thinks home is far.
It lies in her heart meadow.
—
Penang – Oct 5, 2022 / 04:56am
You Be Jack (ranting)
You be, Beloved,
Truly. You know not, I do.
One moment owns you.
—
A teacher said, “What’s the most important thing in your car?”
No one said anything but everyone had one’s answer popping around one’s head.
The teacher continued “How do you think about jack?”
Everyone laughed. One of them said, “Almost not functional.”
The teacher giggled and said, “Yes! Jack will work only in unexpected situation almost accidentally, might be never if there is no emergency. How do you feel if your existence in society is like a jack? And what will you do?”
No one said anything. Most of them felt denial, not wanting to be jack in a car.
The teacher smiled and said, “You know a jack is a jack because it is a jack. What a jack needs to do is being a good jack. A good jack is a jack that can function well. Function well when needed! Anytime needed! What if a jack feels desperate of being a jack just because the jack is never used? The jack will give up functioning. The jack may let itself corroded, lose its credibility and accountability. One day the car needs a new tire in the middle of nowhere, jack doesn’t function, it doesn’t do its job, it lets the car stranded nowhere until another car with a functional jack comes by….”
No voice….
The teacher said, “So whatever your function now in society, function well, perform your best, as that is some part of the true you. Everyone has one’s own moment. If you think you’ve been a jack in a car, don’t stop functioning because someday you might be needed and you alone are needed and that’s when you become a super hero. Or if you ever be a jack that is never used, at least someday the owner will say ‘I never use this jack but it is a super jack, I’m sure it functions well anytime I need it’. Ok, Jack?”
Everyone laughed, feeling relieved of having been a jack in different moment.
One student said, “What about if no one knows I’m a good jack because I never meet a moment?”
The teacher smiled and said, “So what? That no one knows we are good at something doesn’t mean we are not good. Why is jack mostly painted red?”
“To be easily found!”
“Yessssss!” Shouted the teacher. “Might not be the best answer but it can be one best answer to answer your friend’s question. Where is red? You still call it red without knowing why it is called red. You still call it red although you don’t realise the existence of red except painted on a jack in this context. You said jack is red so it can be easily found. No one knows what is actually red but all of you know that red is good in jack that functions only in emergency so when needed it is easily found….. That is red— a quality in you that is taken for granted because people think a jack is mostly painted red; only when people think deeply then the quality is a good quality! Don’t cover your red jack with other thing, it won’t be easily found anymore.”
“Like him!” A student pointed his finger to a friend in a red shirt sleeping in the classroom.
The teacher said, “Don’t wake him up. He is a jack in a good ride.”
Everyone laughed. The boy in the red shirt woke up and joined the cheer with his loudest laugher.
“He is a jack functioning well!“ said the teacher.
How beautiful the life of a jack is! 😁
(based on a conversation with a jack of all trades and other jacks who are waiting for the moment to appear)
Brewed Tea
Brewed tea, Beloved,
Best sipped anytime with you
While counting the stars—
—
Certain music composition like good friends is like well brewed tea, suitable for any occasion.
Clear Sky (ranting)
Clear sky, Beloved,
Calm blue where clouds swim, birds fly
Under the warm sun—
—
Javanese live their life with meaning and that makes them “effortlessly” survive even in the hardest time. They pin meaning to everything they experience. I believe Javanese are naturally philosophers whose communal humble life is richly loaded with wisdom; unfortunately fading away by the time.
Meanings easily recognised by most Javanese are those pinned to batik method and patterns. Historically batik patterns were works of art composed by either scholars from padepokan (ashram in Sanskrit) or the royals (king, queen, prince, princess or royal artists). In fact, there were few batik patterns created by commoners such as batik nitik and batik kawung. Kawung is one of the oldest original patterns of Javanese batik which has existed since 12th century. Nitik was born younger, approximately in 19th century.
Fun fact about Javanese king: aside from courses of political knowledge, leadership, palace management etc, long time before his coronation a Javanese crown prince must completely compose 3 works of art and publicly present them to the board of senior royals then announced the art pieces to people in the kingdom. Those three are batik pattern whose batik is handmade by him, tembang/kidung (sacred Javanese song) sung by him; and bedhaya dance trained to the dancers by him (a solemn Javanese dance performed by a group of dancers).
While batik nitik was initially created as secret codes by commoners to circulate among them classified information kept hidden from unjust aristocrats at that time or from the enemies (some historians said though this pattern was composed by the royals); kawung was allegedly created by a mother to dress her son who was instructed by the king to join his exclusive team due to his outstanding skill of espionage and balanced state of mind (again the historians said this pattern was composed by the royals). The said mother made a sheet of kawung pattern for him before he left as a prayer that her son could keep his current quality even after he later lived among (socially, politically, professionally) higher rank people.
Kawung is the Javanese word of sugar palm (kolang-kaling). The symmetrical four half chambers in a fruit are used to symbolise balanced state among physical, mental, intellectual and spiritual. The clear colour of the seed is borrowed to symbolise clarity: of conscious mind, of conscious decisions, of intension, of purpose and of actions.
People also relate the word kawung to suwung that can mean emptiness: in this matter suwung is more about self alignment, absence of sense-driven wanting. A person in this suwung state in positive interpretation means someone who is already free from his/her craving for worldly interests, s/he is able to calmly and consciously prioritise among physical, mental, intellectual and spiritual proportions with no doubt or confusion. S/he is in high level of awareness of a “perfect” human being.
In Java region that kind of person is not necessarily a saint or a priest or a bikhu(ni) or a nun; s/he might be a farmer, a batik maker, a herbal seller, a taxi driver, an employee, a housewife, a leader etc, just whoever is willing to self align through what they do everyday regardless their professions. Not a few of them were “bad” people hearing the inner calling, deciding to quit their wrong doings and living “new” life.
At younger age, I met more of that type around us in my hometown. Now fewer and fewer people are interested to achieve that level because life pace is now becoming faster with the “tsunami of information” and life needs are “forcing” people to be constantly in alert mode with the high competition to “survive certain life style”.
Not much I can do this time. I try to breath more slowly, pay attention on shift of emotions through body reaction (my body will never betray me) then acknowledge the emotion whatever it is. Time flies like a wind sometimes like a storm, I choose to ride it, not to get dragged by it. Not easy but doable.
How light this head is after ranting!
Fun fact about the honourable batik makers:
- Once a batik maker pulls the “canting” filled with hot wax on a sheet of fabric, it will start developing lines or dots as the hot wax gets dry fast and block the fabric. That is why they work very carefully to avoid unplanned error. Correcting unplanned error is more tedious in batik making process compared to drawing the patterns with canting. Zero accident policy applies.
- Batik making is a highly contemplative activity (almost) like meditation. That is what makes many of batik makers especially those senior and/or with high quality artisanal works have good self alignment.
- Some batik makers don’t need to draw the planned pattern with pencil on the fabric. They are the highly skilled, the artist, the master of what they are doing.
- It takes approximately 5 months to complete a piece of two sided hand-made batik of 210-250cm long. Those batik makers also do household chores in between their batik making activities as they mostly don’t earn good money. If you buy hand made batik, please give extra dollars to share some comfort.
- Majority of batik makers are female. Very few of them are young.
(Im)Perfection
Imperfection, Love:
Perfection on the way. Back
To imperfection.
Perfection, Beloved,
Imperfection on the way.
Back to perfection.
—
No one is perfect as everyone is imperfection in perfect cycles.
How perfect you are, don’t boast. You are simply “rotten body in progress”. How imperfect you are, wise up. You are the soul “shining in progress”. Your body is deteriorating, your soul is rising.
….
Only if you are willing to slow down.
Enjoy the rest of this weekend!
💝
One Last Sign
One last sign, dear Love,
Closure of a long journey,
End of a battle—
—
Finally….
Silk Road
Silk road, Beloved,
A bumpy road to a heart
Laughing at a joke—
—
In a silk shop in Hanoi a conversation happened.
Me: (silently questioning whether the silk offered was truly silk from Dalat or “silk” from somewhere in China)
Shopkeeper: How do you like it, Madam?
Me: I love it. But to help me make decision, would you mind answering my question? I hope this won’t offend you.
Shopkeeper: Certainly, Madam.
Me: Is this silk truly from Dalat?
Shopkeeper: Yes, Madam. It is from Dalat, my parents’ hometown. Why, Madam?
Me: Not from China?
Shopkeeper: (laughing) We received the same question from another customer before. I am not surprised. Trust me it is Vietnamese silk, not Chinese product…. (She made a joke about “silk” then continued her long explanation of silk industry in Vietnam and her family business history and brought some samples of old silk that had been kept since her grand grand parents started production.)
She was able to convince me relatively well and my decision was buying one pretty white piece. White silk won’t go wrong to attend my nephew’s wedding in December! 🥰
May all beings be happy.
True Message
Thunders, Beloved,
Not sign of rain, but lightning—
Know their true message.
—
Some messages are exactly like how people play “karambol” (carrom board in English), the player may strike one disk to target another disk. The message is as if for A but actually for B. Or the message is like this but actually that.
Don’t get fooled, dear self.
Welcome, new week full of true messages. 😘
May all beings be happy.
Decluttering
Cluttered, Beloved,
Storing unprocessed info
Too much. Declutter!
—
I love jewelry and used to love purchasing them not because of its value but more because of sentiment to its historical, cultural or spiritual loads. And that was lots of money (to me, not to others who have millions and millions of dollars). My close friends and my mother repeatedly ranted and nagged to me to buy gold than those “meaningless” jewelry. Did I listen? Of course nooooooot!!!
Until one day I realised that those things are a fantasy in a hoarder’s spirit of mine. And so I decided to stop buying things if not helping me work/study better or making this journey lighter.
I should be decluttering more and more and giving more space to moving energy. My home should be filled with more expressive sweet love than with unprocessed memories. Unprocessed memories = info that is never escalated into knowledge then insight then wisdom = rubbish!
Dear Life, please let me be with you longer so that I can unlearn more and more wisely, embrace your true meaning more and more clearly and give meaning to you more and more sweetly.
*breathing for a while for the next task of today’s decluttering*
and other rubbish – give away or throw away!
Sweet Welcome
Welcome, Beloved.
Home is where gifts are opened,
Flowers are blooming.
—
Welcome home! said they. 💝
Wasted
Wasted, Beloved,
None. In life all’s by design
With scales and measures.
—
Good morning, Saturday. Thanks for opening the weekend gate. I’m flying back home soon; can’t wait for the sweet surprises!
Salaam. 🙏🏼
Feel Good
Feel good, Beloved,
No matter what. Stars still shine.
Moon and earth still spin.
—
Why are you nervous, my dear? Romance is within reach, just between breathing in and breathing out. Stars, moon and earth give you so much attention while you are ignoring them. They have done their jobs; you should do yours if you think it feels good.
May all beings be happy.
Salaam. 💝
Playful Not Player
Playful is the sun,
Gazing, not a player though.
The earth is smiling.
—
This worldly life is no more than play and amusement, no doubt; yet some situations are seriously needing “handle with care”. And so I believe feeling good no matter what is the best way to respond to what’s given. It is time to be playful.
This worldly life will not make this physical body live forever; yet there is part of me living forever and ever dwelling broader higher deeper dimensions. I wish to meet loved ones in a more meaningful and joyful state. It is not time to play around.
May all beings be happy. 💝
White Hair
White hair, Beloved,
Waves through the wind of white sword
Waved by white wizard.
—
In white hair, will I be as strong as Gandalf?
A Guest
A guest, Beloved,
Makes host happy yet confused.
Smile sweet and thank, too.
—
I’ve met hosts with different types of personality or characteristics. When the host is a person, it’s just about that particular person. When the host is a company, it shows me the company culture or local culture.
I’ve got a few “cute” treatment from some hosts.
One company in Koka was informed that I’m a Muslim. My colleague told them “Rike eats halal, please find the food source from now.” They didn’t clarify to me and just followed that pranking colleague blindly. And in my 3-day visit they fed me halal food they ordered online and had to be delivered long trip to that remote area.
“Is it good, Rike-san?” The host asked me on the last day.
“Do you expect honest or polite answer?” said I laughing.
“Be honest please ha ha…”
“I tried NN-san’s food from your canteen. I love your food much much better. This online food tasted good but didn’t taste fresh.” It was impolite like hell for most Japanese host I guess. 😂
“Our canteen food is not halal. I’m sorry about the online food.” He must have wanted to commit suicide after that. 😁
Then I started preaching what halal meant to me. And they said they would not order the halal food for me anymore and give me their canteen food the following years. 😂
—
The second was one company knowing I’m a Muslim as informed by the branch in Malaysia. So they knew I pray although they never knew I only pray when wanting to.
So they brought me to a small room to do afternoon prayer. I asked if they have Muslim employees so they had the room, they said it was prepared for me. They moved out table, chairs and other cultural ornaments. 🙇🏻♀️
The first day I prayed, the other days they asked if I would pray. I said no. Then again I preached what type of Muslim I was and they nodded heads looking confused— they might think how would a human being can be this obedient yet disobedient to her God.
—
The third is also about being a Muslim. I came with 6 other people for 2 days and the company gave me fruit salad while giving nice beef/chicken/pork, egg, vegetable, rice lunch to others. They said they only had salad as halal food and no restaurant near the industrial area cooks halal and non halal food separately.
My colleagues explained that I could eat this and that but “not pork only”. So the next day they provided my favourite Vietnam spring roll with “vegetable and pork” not “pork only”. I left the lunch box untouched and went back to the yummy salad. I’ll come back next year, please give me pho. 😁
—
Some people are so naive not knowing what to do and deciding to do their bestest best to respect the guests. God bless them.
I enjoy being a (not so good) Muslim. Misunderstood but still well treated by those willing to respect others. God bless you! 💝
Salaam….
Sweet Surprise
Unforeseen, unplanned—
Life’s rich: men, events, chances
Bring moments of truth.
—
This evening I met up with two Saigonese friends— not planned, not predicted. We sent each other messages and found that we three were in Hanoi and decided to have dinner together.
His message to me: “I’ll pick you up once you’re prepared”. Her message to me: “Let me know when you arrive at hotel, I’ll kidnap you”. And they both came in the same taxi with different intension. 😁
For years we have always wanted to meet in Ho Chi Minh City to eat south pho bo and life preferred pulling us together in Hanoi for north pho bo.
A happy rendezvous! All was good. The only minus was that I had much noodle as part of dinner. 🙃 See you in HCMC!
I hope to get other sweet surprises. Or at least I commit to feel good no matter what so any surprises will be sweet.
Salaam.
Romance
Romance, Beloved,
Turns her into a dreamer
Of a slow dinner.
—
Today’s dinner is the longest ever I have alone: sitting in the restaurant for almost one hour not only to eat but also to enjoy a sight of two old-aged lovers enjoying dinner at a table across mine. There was no obsession of showy loving, no romantically staring each other, no hand holding, only picking food from the shared menu on a plate and a bowl s-l-o-w-l-y almost meditatively — Hmmm I mean I still dream of doing the young romance but at their age all lovers will have become “private life historians” wanting to recount memories alone in the crowd. 😄
They spoke Vietnamese so I (almost) whispered to a waitress serving both of our tables to translate a chunk of the chat we both eavesdropped. A couple of hackers of very ordinary topics! 😊
When I left the table (they were having a shared plate of dessert s-l-o-w-l-y), I smiled and waved my hand to the lady. She smiled and waved to me, too. Silently I sent my prayer gift for their health and happiness.
I think my dinner was more romantic than theirs. What a beautiful evening!
Wakey, wakey!
Time to prepare tomorrow’s work! ☺️
Salaam.
Sweet
Sweet heart, Beloved,
Welcomes each day with sweetness
Flavouring what’s not.
—
Sweet heart can belong to a sweetheart or to anyone whose heart contains sweet things. Sugar daddy and sugar mommy not included— ☺️
Breathing
Breathing, Beloved,
Dive with it slowly, knowing
It can blaze and burn.
—
So much swarmed in mind today. This brain was so busy processing unclear things that it could not process what truly happened within. All dots of thoughts felt like molecules bumping with and crashing each other in Brownian motion. The internal Brownian motion expanded externally and bad mood caused physical discomfort.
For around 12 hours the bad mood and physical discomfort was densely lingering. Reading, cooking, eating, drawing, writing, washing, watching YouTube, listening music, checking suitcase for next trip, taking shower, even sleeping didn’t help stabilise the emotion. Alamak I didn’t understand what was going on.
At dusk time I took a seat in one bedroom corner, closed eyes and paid attention to breathing. Very fast— it was not my normal breathing speed. Then trapped emotions were found: unexplainable insecurity and anger. After around 30 minutes normalising my breathing speed, the bad mood was totally gone.
I’m sorry for ignoring you, breathing. It can’t be denied that my physical has given me signs of what happened inside. This physical has always reminded me about what emotions are dominating. The dominating emotion indicates what energy is attracted — positive or negative. Don’t ignore signs given by body; not even once!
Lesson learnt: Some dominating stuffs don’t deserve priority. Severe weather, bitter messages, false news —even if affecting me— deserve to be smacked down! Don’t try me, bitch(es)! 😄
New week is gonna be nice! 🤓
Alfatihah.
Mood
Bad mood is hunger
Draining mind and tainting heart.
Can food heal the pain?
—
Certain type of bad mood doesn’t go away easily. It can sit silently consuming emotion for almost 12 hours. Some can be cured with food, some can’t. We still need food anyway.
Unfortunately no one is responsible as the cause, it popped out just like that with the falling rain; yet the self is responsible to get through it patiently.
😌
both birds and humans love it
Blessed Day Reclaimed
Cold morning switched off the air conditioner.
Whistling wind wildly knocked on the glass door.
Windy rain greeted Sunday morning.
What dry hanging got re-soaked — a basket of potentially re-wash.
May kindness be absent for a while?
May a pinch of disappointment be sprinkled?
May a drop of despair be shared today?
A promise was wished
To smile,
To laugh,
Or to just close eyes in unbearable
And sleep away,
Or to make noise among fire, water and oil,
Or simply splash some ink on paper or wall—
Claimed—
That this noisy weather
Is less noisy than the kitchen.
And it turns back to a blessed day.
—
Sometimes it only takes some kitchen noise to save a Sunday.
Leaving The Thrones
I dive
Every night
To where you are
And see no one
As
You are diving
To where I’ve left my throne.
When I’m back,
You’re back
To where you”ve left yours.
If we know the hours of each others’ departures,
We’ll meet at the crossroads
Where what’s left behind
Is forgiven, not forgotten
Tonight.
—
Gifts to You
These gifts, Beloved,
Peace and love hummed to loved ones
Living here and there—
—
One of the Javanese and Islamic teachings that I will never leave for the rest of my life is sending gift of prayer containing peace and love to my loved ones wherever they are, whether they are physically wandering on earth or spiritually gathering around life.
I believe that my passing-away ancestors are living in different levels of consciousness (call it hell, heaven or somewhere in between up to your liking) and they are watching their offsprings without being able to directly communicating with us. They deserve my gift as they have been my line to get the chance to be here now. They deserve peace and love as they have done the best they could to draw a meaningful family tree. Yes, some might have made silly mistakes but hey that’s what Buddhism calls “karma”. Yes, some might have caused shameful stains on the family picture but hey that’s what Islam calls “alam syahadah”. Whoever and whatever they were, all of my ancestors deserve good wishes sung to them.
I also wish peace and love to those I love still breathing the air. Wishing all of them health and happiness. 💝
We Javanese Muslim will send gift by reciting some Javanese prayer closed with Alfatihah, a short chapter in the Quran containing peace, love, praise, forgiving, protection and guidance. A basket of beautiful wishes—
How light this heart is to be sure that all whom I love are well.
Alfatihah to all whom I love. You’re loved. You’re blessed. Don’t shop too much. 😁
Happy weekend!
Pleasure
Pleasure, Beloved,
Sweet moment under the rain—
Sunshine is peeping.
—
Today’s biking started at 6:30am and ended at 7:15am as the rain began earlier – weather forecast reported rain would fall at around 8am. We decided to fold the bikes in my home then drive to “Kueh & Mee” for breakfast.
Conversation is never boring with this good friend. Any topics about her children are my favourite as those children give me inspiration to be always young in heart how old ever I am and optimistic about life how much low my mental is. Topic about her wanting to go back to work is never nice because that’s when she questions if she is capable of doing this or that; while she is one of intelligent friends I have —- she is an excellent chemist who lets her expertise hibernate and allows her husband to lead a brilliant professional success.
After today’s chatty laughing breakfast, she went home then picked up her husband in Changi Airport, arriving from a biz trip. A long list of tasks were still waiting for her, making me lose reasons to complain about life.
She is one of my favourite people inspiring me with their being ordinary the way they are.
Thank you, Mbak Eva! God bless you. 🥰
rike jokanan 
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