Friendship, Beloved A vast ocean and its waves Sweeping all debris—
———————————————————
A friend visited me at my lunch break. A short talk made the day.
About her retirement plan to hop from one city to another from one country to another with her husband, future visit to my home base, future visit to Ubud, her sons and the menace, my future plans, health and healthcare, vaccination, and everything….
Our longest talk after 2 years of not going someplace together! She brought our favourite kue from Bengawan Solo! 💝
Couldn’t believe it could happen only in one hour. We must have talked as fast as flash!
⚡️
Bengawan Solo jajanan pasar delivered by a friend today
Is she that clean though? No! Flower blooms from rooted trees. Dirt, bugs surround her.
————————————————————
Human being is human being. No one is perfect. No one is clean. If someone looks perfect, it is just the lenses are focusing on one’s good parts or the lenses are damaged unable to see all details or one is just in a lucky blind spot. What a blessing to look perfect! — whatever the cause is
Making mistakes is a perfect description about human being. The perfection overdoes though when the same mistake is repeated — too many times will kill!
*sigh*
May all beings be full-bellied. 💝
burnt mackerel, salty veggies soup and cutie buns with some ants is a set of perfect imperfection I cooked today
Time runs, Beloved Not flies. Its feet touch the ground, Planting you deeply To the journey. Feel the pace, Beloved. The end is good.
————————————————————
Today’s video call with 6 best friends was at least 2 hours of stupidity in the brink of wisdom.
The talk of health of some of us and overall healthcare in our country has become both joke and contemplation.
One of us said that as a father of two he doesn’t want to be selfish thinking about his health too much. He wants to give the best to his children and if he has to leave them forever, his family won’t suffer of having too little. This oldest of all of us is always the funniest yet the wisest.
One of us said that whatever medical complaints she has, she wants to handle them now. She said she’d better know the diseases how much ever bad they are and do possible treatments soon rather than later when she is older. What a good anticipation!
Another said that he still enjoys everything freely. He called while chewing donuts with heavy chocolate and sugar toppings! What a joy!
Most of us don’t have serious medical issues except that the pandemic in the country is more happening that fear of it is more deadly than the virus itself.
Blahblahblah and hahaha continued when we talked about religions. Those who are religious made fun of us who are “not clear”. And we teased them who are “too clear-cut”.
Fun 2+ hours! Mood booster to welcome another week!
Hope we are all completing everything well.
Take care, crazy good friends! You’re blessed.
Sure we’ll still meet again in a better time! So sure!
💝
just-put-them-in leucadendron and pink striped daisy is ready to welcome the productive week 😎
How perfect you are, 99. I’m the 1 completing the reality. And so we are completed, 100!
Life is blessed when the heart is loaded and bedazzled with three gemstones of the beautiful names and attributes of God: the amethyst of Ar-Rahman (the beneficent), the emerald of Ar-Rahiem (the merciful) and the rose quartz of Al-Latif (the subtle one, the most gentle).
It’s a personal interpretation; don’t quote me.
People say that the quality of God can’t be bounded with the beauty of any but at the same time it can in order to attribute God with something sensuously beautiful at the same time symbolising some characters. I chose gemstone. Why not flowers, why gemstones? Let it be
The three qualities are those projected to be. Someday —not sure when— I’ll acceptably be. Not sure when….
Enchanting those three attributes without thinking what religions I’m holding has been helpful to cope with many challenges especially facing those contesting and/or underestimating. Forgive them, love them and keep gentle in the heart— how much ever tough the argument is, be gentle in the heart; how much ever confrontation to be tackled, be gentle in the heart; how much ever firm intonation to be uttered, be gentle in the heart. At the end it is not winning an argument that’s important; it is accepting the learning process the bounties. Gorgeous and precious as gemstones—
So thankful to be a human being, being able to wildly interpret what might be rigidly believed by others, being able to move meaning from where beauty is rigidly defined to wherever a defined beauty can be criticised. That’s a privilege only for those who have enough space for being humane — take learning step, one by one….
In this crowded world, the safest sanctuary is being one’s self where those that I know don’t really care and those that I care don’t really know.
If young Indonesians don’t sing those songs, let them rot in hell. 🎼 At least three of those songs, guys! No worry about your out of tune — just sing! Or hum! Ok, sing in silence! 😩
I’m a torch no more. I’m a morning for my day To be. Am I free?
————————————————————
Just one click! Then the monitor shows something brighter and full of hopes! Vast ocean of happiness—
Why is it so blocked to be optimistic? Take a mirror, unlock just one sweet smile, look into the smiling face more deeply a little bit longer and know why…. Dear, Love. Just one click!
Where are you, oh dear? Mountains and oceans are passed By with beauty glued As memory. Beloved, Where’s the next stop? Peek a boo!
————————————————————
When I was young; I joined spiritual workshop, class, training; read spiritual books, journal, articles; listened to spiritual preaching, cassettes, radio programs; name more —mostly informal, some non-formal, one formal not finished oh I’m blessed that It wasn’t. Whenever I was asked why I did, I would say “I wanna know God.”
Hopeless popus!*
Has anyone experienced this looking-sophisticated-but-actually-comical thing? Thanks God (s/he’d like to be censored actually) I’m not alone in this zero to zigzagging journey— from being very excitedly curious to being a drunken master. 🤪
What a blessed journey it was! If I’m supposed to tell that young me when starting through the reading of those looking-sophisticated-yet-actually-comical random materials, I would say “Hey, Lady Haha! You should have a map but a destination is paramount!”
And I still feel so blessed!
May all haha moments be deciphered. 😊
* refer to the video of “How To Dad” in “How To Teach A Kid Curse Words”.
Bruised and scarred she is; A stained-glass window to see Both sides of her world.
————————————————————
22:22 / Sunday – June 6, 2021
I thought all of those were wounds and warts until observing carefully. I’ve been living with a beautiful stained-glass window which puts colours and gives unique perspectives when seeing inside and outside. As long as it doesn’t derail from being a human being, I think I’m blessed.
When moments collide,
Time slows down, space enlarges.
A coincidence?
——————————————————
Based on solar calendar, it is my father’s birthday today. Based on lunar calendar it is his death commemoration.
Mathematically the two calculations are crossing, astronomically celestial bodies are in moving in harmony, momentarily it’s just a coincidence. To his family it’s a special moment— celebrating a point when an important human being’s life in the world is started and ended.
God bless you, Bapak. Happy 0th birthday! Are you watching me? Thank you. But no need, just take a rest, I’m safe now. 😘
Cold weary corner
Keeps things alive. It’s a choice
To put some colours.
—
Often time one puts everything in one place and let the other space vacant because it is easier to get whatever within reach. It is good, yet sometimes one should follow the heart to reach out those beyond spatiality.
Re-arrange and better manage one’s self.
The right side of my table is always packed with everything. The left side is almost empty….
An old man’s waiting
For the sun to rise. He moans
At the moon. “Dark night,
Pull away. You block me from
Beauty.” — Life’s a mentalist.
—
Who is the true beauty? The moon or the sun? Debatable! It’s a matter of played tricks of layered lights— light upon light with darkness in between. How would it be not cozy hiding under a cool calm night while patiently welcoming morning? How would it be not fun playing in a warm radiant day while cheerfully welcoming dusk?
Ah…. Why should one be getting old while constantly denying what is….
I want to love you
Like loving a song. It's free,
Everyone’s happy
Without jealousy, they sing
In joy.... While you’re still mine, Love—
What a luxury to love someone who’s been the favorite of many…. Sharing joy in silence….
Like this humble song from me to you…. A Javanese love song whose meaning is deep and joyful; filled with prayer and admiration to the beloved – whoever the beloved is meant by the singer.
Sugar cane party
Triggers childhood memories.
Fresh, sweet and crunchy
I loved to eat sugar cane when I was a kid. We would get the sugar cane from the backyard garden but the best sugar cane was from the sugar cane field which was guarded everyday. So we as the kids of the area had to make political decision between stealing the cane or begging the cane from the guards, we mostly did the first option as we didn’t have good negotiation skill that could win over the guards’ rudeness and body size. Trust me they were as big as rhino while we were tiny kids with one small knife to cut one cane at the edge of the field.
One long cane wouldn’t harm the guards. They without doubt knew we stole one stick of sugarcane but they never chased us. Some expressions that chased us away with the stolen commodity were mostly “I know you, I’ll tell your parents!” or “If you come back, I’ll catch you!” or “Little rascals!” or if we were lucky the guard would say cynically “Why only one? Why not bring a truck?” Now I know that those guards would never do anything harmful because they knew how little the cane we took and how weak we were compared to them.
We didn’t do it often though. Maybe once a year. Sometimes we would stand in front of our home when it was time for the sugar canes to be harvested and the trucks transporting the crops passed by the street. We would pull the canes protruding at the back of the truck running slowly.
I was one of the luckiest. My father’s friend would send us a “kolong” of sugar canes (kolong is a bunch or around 10-20 sugar cane tied together with bamboo knots). Then we would untie the knot and give some to our neighbours and friends.
What a beautiful childhood memory!
Nowadays not many of our children might do what we did. My nephews and nieces love to hear my stories about it. They might not know that we peeled the sugar cane using our teeth. Wow! Magic! Hahaha…. No…. Just a show off around the kids!
I miss home….! 🥰
my sugar cane today, not as good as my childhood’s but good enough to remind me of a good time
What’s life, Beloved?
Contribution, not duration—
How much not how long.
Once an engineer working in a battery manufacturing asked me why my mobile phone battery was almost always fully charged. I didn’t know people observed my mobile carefully.
He said “I don’t see many applications in your phone so the battery might not get drained quickly, Rijk.”
“You’re right, Sir. The activities I do in those few applications already take a lot of energy. More apps, more energy, yet mostly those apps are not used often. So….”
“Ahhh! A good choice to contribute better than to be a jack of all trade eh? Try this trick!” He told me some secret of how to keep phone battery live longer. “…. That way battery will stay strong, live a little longer than expected plus you’ve got the endurance you wish. Tell me if it works.”
He also said that it doesn’t apply only to battery. It is about how life is dedicated for. Some people feel satisfied with having a lot and enjoying long life in luxury. In fact, some people live to contribute more to their surrounding, not having so much —just enough to stay content and happy— and die meaningfully.
I don’t know if that senior citizen is still alive. If he died, I’m sure he died happy. Once his colleagues said his life was blessed because of his kindness and generosity.
Alas! I still want to live longer contributing more. Oh, greedy self me! 🤪
Rolled dice, Beloved
Can cheat or give you luck. Choose
When to stop or lose.
Pandhawa Lima (5 brothers of Pandhawa) and the Kurawa (100 = 99 male and 1 female, all born from one time pregnancy), both were since childhood to maturity in a forever competition, rivalry and finally Kurusetra war!
I first read Mahabharata, Baratayudha when I was 10 years old. Comic series by R.A. Kosasih. I bet you’ll like them – unfortunately only in Bahasa Indonesia.
I always interpreted the rivalry between those two clans as a battle between good and evil. That everything happening between them was because Pandhawa wanted to eradicate evil, celebrated the good, wanted to make sure the kingdom was well governed, people were well protected with good welfare. Hmm…. I mean yes it was…. But is that the only angle to picture the stories? What was the cause of the war?
Until one day…. My brain was twisted and started to re-read between the lines. Since then I have agreed with those thinking that what Pandhawa had done was to fight for the right of one beloved woman, Drupadi. In Javanese culture Drupadi was the dear wife of Yudhistira (the oldest of the five) and the sister in law of the four (Bima, Arjuna, Nakula and Sadewa).
Drupadi was harassed by Dursasana in a betting party where Yudhistira let her the ultimate bet after he had spent everything the kingdom had in the game. Yudhistira was a highly respected king yet his weakness was one of them his liking to betting and gambling.
So, the epic war between the good Pandhawa and the evil Kurawa is to show how men respect and defend the women around them.
How would those who have read this epic story can’t see this significant line?!
I’m blessed to be a woman. And I hope someday I’ll be with a man who has the dignity to take a side of me when I have no one to defend, has the courage to respect a “weaker creature” when he has other options not to.
Happy International Women’s Day
It is not a one-day holiday or celebration, it is an everyday celebration to stay dignified and loving at the same time as a woman.
I’ve been told to pray for the ancestors, overall those in the family tree who have been deceased. We will trace back from my late father to his parents to his parents’ parents, up above to the very first regardless traceable or not and trace back from my mother’s parents to her parents’ parents, up above to the very first regardless traceable or not.
In old Javanese tradition people will do the prayer for ancestors in a simple yet sacred ritual – while some people will go to the graveyard or monument to do it, many are doing it at home. No altar, put thing on your table and pray.
However, four components shall be thoughtfully prepared: the day, the prayer, the food, drink, and (sometimes) cigarettes, and the flowers. Each of those has meaning.
As a reminder, here is the meaning. Please don’t quote me as my knowledge is the result of my personal contemplation mixed with very limited knowledge that I read and hear from many sources.
Chosen Days All days are good, all time is precious. We are the one giving them meaning by putting some more attention and creating the moment on particular days. So choosing the day is a decision to give meaning to particular time so that it becomes a beautiful moment that boost our mood to connect with our beloved and respected members “above”. The day you are born must be your favourite day.
People will do it at night; many choose to do it at Thursday night before Friday morning breaks, others choose to do it on the day they are born (Sunday to Saturday combined with one of the Javanese 5 days. which is Paing, Pon, Wage, Kliwon and Legi — so if you combine, it can be Thursday Kliwon, Tuesday Legi, etc which are astrologically calculated in a very complicated system. Don’t ask me further about Javanese astrology – I’m zero!
By the way, people traditionally do the ritual ancestor prayer once in 35-40 days or on special dates/occasions but nowadays most people do it twice in a year: around Ramadan and in Javanese new year (lunar calendar). Me? Don’t ask…. 😂
Prayers To me chanted prayer is a set of (poetic and romantic) line to synchronise the emotions through all senses with the inner self by focusing on what are uttered or sung. Chanted prayer improves concentration. It helps achieve the oneness within self. So, make sure you understand what you are saying in the prayer. Otherwise, you become a talking parrot.
In Javanese old tradition people recite some “tembang” the Javanese songs which reflect wishes and philosophical thought. Young Javanese used to be taught how to sing those songs in elementary school but now that lesson has gone from the formal education and replaced by popular music lesson as a result of modern culture massively affecting and marginalising the local potential.
While Dhandhanggula verses are commonly chosen to be sung softly by those who are good enough to be heard by the wind and human beings — oh please excuse my out of tune; other Javanese songs (Mocopat) can be the alternatives. People can only use the tembang’s tones or tones and verses. There is no rigid rule for that.
Some others will use Quranic verses containing universal prayers — Javanese culture has been merged and amalgamated with many different religions (Hinduism, Buddhism and strongly with Islam) and so Quranic verses are inserted or substituting some items in the culture. Many will choose QS Yaasiin allegedly the “heart of Quran” or QS Arrahman that contains a lot of heavenly joy to reflect our prayers that all ancestors’ souls are living in heaven. Many people also use QS Alfatihah allegedly the “mother of the Book” or the “mother of Quran” which is much shorter than the other two.
Why Quran is used in many aspects of Javanese? There is a lot of synchronicity between Javanese thinking tradition (Kejawen) with the Islam spirituality (Sufi) and that has developed mutual functionality between those traditions.
If you live in Java island especially central to eastern part of the island for just a while (one week maybe), ou will shift understanding about the Islam which you might have perceived as a rigid teaching originated from Arab land. Islam in Java is different at an almost extreme level of characteristics from Arabian culture. No, no I don’t hate Arab or the “Arabian Islam”, I just don’t want people to wrongly think that all muslims are rigid and narrow minded just by some wrongly-defined teaching or hatred-based perception made by some irresponsible Orientalists. Please don’t judge my language. I don’t mean anything but “Islam isn’t like what you think it is, You should travel more to know more.” Ok, I rest my case.
The other group will just say nothing at all, their prayers are uttered silently in the secret language that can only be understood by those praying.
What do we pray for? We pray for the joy of ancestors’ soul — I myself like to whisper in English “Dear beloved and respected Ancestors, may you be living peacefully in the heart of green birds in heaven. May you be blessed with good sight of seeing us remembering and praying for you. May you be greeting us too when we realise that we exist after and through you.” Then we pray for our own selves — whatever good prayer we want to chant. What is good prayer? My goodness, any prayer for your happiness and success! 😊
Semar – a character in Javanese shadow puppet whose prayer is always “thank you” for all given by Life. Many Javanese idolise him for his humble yet respected life.
Preparation of Drink and Food If you know ancestors’ favourite drink and food, prepare them. If not, take your most favourite and remember to always prepare the best ones.
I never know what my ancestors’ favourite food but I know my father loved “kue lapis” – that with layers of coloured rice cake. So kue lapis is always there accompanied by others.
And the beverage is always kopi tubruk and teh tubruk because those two types are the favourite of all in Javanese tradition. Kopi tubruk is plain brewed ground coffee – we don’t filter it, no strainer no no, some people let the coffee powder settle at the bottom of the cup but some will drink the black black coffee with some coffee paste in it, and don’t forget sugar! Teh tubruk is the other one: you just throw dried tea leaves into a cup, pour boiled water, let the leaves drown down, then sip it up with or no sugar!
Cigarettes? I am sorry, dear Ancestors. Smoking isn’t healthy as cigarettes nowadays are made of those hazardous chemicals that will harm your health. So, please excuse this decision. 😁
Yummy! My mother said I am not supposed to eat it after the prayer, but I do….Good “kopi tubruk” and “teh tubruk” for the beloved and respected ancestors
Flowers What flowers are used? The key is always “what’s you ancestors’ favourite?” As I am not sure what my ancestors’ favourite flowers, I just refer to what flowers are commonly used in the tradition. Jasmine, rose, ylangylang and magnolia alba are the ones. As I could only find rose then rose it is! I plan to use sunflower, lily or orchid next time as they re my fave!
Why flower? Flower is always associated with fragrance. Fragrance symbolises the good deeds that were dedicated by our ancestors in their life time that will be eternally carved as a sacred key to connect with their bloodline. It also symbolises our good deeds to connect with ancestors. Only when we do our good deed and preserve ancestors’ good deeds, will we connect strongly with the powerful blessings from ancestors.
Being a modern human being should not stop me from remembering that I can only exist with “the good heart and help” of those up above the branches and trunk in a family tree. Hey, we might be a part of a giant family tree – Homo Sapiens whose ancestors are the same. So, next time I’ll probably pray for everyone’s ancestors.
I never want to hurt myself, I just didn’t know who you are. I got hurt by a cactus in a desert Who pricks little fingers, Who just want to touch this life softly, Not hurting, not taking anything away.
Wounded, I decided to blame stupidity: Why did I have to have to have to have to have to just touch cacti? I should have left that arid land long before I touched a prickly spirit.
A delayed regret is less important than a lesson learned but it always gives a story the most significant pivot.
Now I’ll just admire from here From where I stand With millions of prayers For a secret journey. Yet I know you are a ghost days and nights.
Someday when I pour down the rain, You’ll know. Love is as sweet as water in drought— Maybe— If it is not late....
It’s been quite long I haven’t posted anything in this site. Too busy? Or not able to manage the time? Oh my goodness, how life lasts long yet runs so fast that it rolls in like a useless scroll.
Alas!
What will I give to Life?
Nothing?
Ya, nothing as I have nothing.
Yet, I still do things with my nothing.
Life,
Please guide me through my nothingness to the Light at the end of the scroll.
I met Moppy last Monday in Jakarta. Hugging him for about 10 minutes at one time plus several minutes after that…. The sensation was he was saying “I am ok, never mind. It’s all right now.”
I felt that it would be my last time seeing him. The coming weeks would be a very hectic time and won’t probably good space to fly in to Jakarta again. That’s why I forced myself to meet him this week; whatever it takes to do…. But if he still wants to spare some time to be hugged, I’ll take his lead.
I feel a lark lingering around. She is singing songs telling me a handsome boy named Moppy is the messenger who brings messages to each of warriors around him – to keep striving for perfection in life. The songs are like flowing river, going to the ocean – ocean of growing love.
The lark is singing while perching, while flying – it’s a sign that the messages are constantly delivered – never stop even the warriors are focusing on something else.
Moppy, if it’s your time, please don’t wait until the warriors are stopping to sit with you. Please take the lead and the warriors are following your way. The warriors are here to stay, deciphering the messages you have brought to them. Even some messages you bring are now not read, those unread would be found in time.
Moppy, throw away your little worry. The warriors have made their pledge that they would be faithful to their missions. That they would be on the right path until they meet you in the other side.
It’s a beautiful chance to be with you in life for just several hours. Been a precious time to hug you and to sing some songs for you….
My heart is filled with love and gratitude and forgiveness that may lead our way to the Light.
Sending my love, blessings and forgiveness to a handsome boy named, Moppy. Be comfortable…..
Prayer is a bunch of energy circulating through words, imaginations, deeds to materialise. So, when we’re praying we are changing the energy into materials which can be seen, heard, tasted, smelt, touched with our physical senses.
But is it only physical that gives the sensation? No, there is something un-seen, un-heard, un-tasted, un-smelt, un-touched but still can be felt…That’s why 6th sense exists.
After six, then there is 7, 8, etc? For sure…. But I want to say that that 6 covers all above 5.
So, if our prayer won’t materialise the energy into those five physical sensations, it means the energy is lingering as the 6th sensation. You still can feel it.
Pray. Even if it doesn’t happen as the eyes want to sense, ears want to sense, tongue wants to sense, nose wants to smell, hands want to sense; your heart never fails to sense it.
Pray.
Pray.
Pray.
Materialize!
Dedicating this prayer to Moppy, the dog that is traveling from Palembang to Jakarta to be cured. I love you, Moppy…. Cured, cured, cured….
rike jokanan 
You must be logged in to post a comment.