Dear fellow earthlings, let’s enjoy this weekend as Mr and Mrs Fly are…. 😊
🍀
Singapore – November 29, 2014 – 2:39am
S
Tag: love
Haiku – Vibration
Touching my chest
I hear throbbing pulses there —
Sign of life.
==========================
Breezing wind
Sweeps my hair and curtain, flying —
Cool air.
==========================
Coarse sand
And soil cover my skin and hair —
Earth is here.
==========================
Today I just want to emit vibration of love to all animals and underprivileged people in the world to support them in silence. I love you, I love you, I love you. You are loved, you are loved, you are loved. You are safe, you are safe, you are safe….. Mother Earth is helping you, protecting you all from harmful human beings. Be strong, be strong, be strong….. I love you, I love you, I love you. You are loved, you are loved, you are loved. You are safe, you are safe, you are safe…..
Singapore – November 8, 2014 – 9:39pm
Collecting
I’ve been collecting things in my life — not so much thinking about their functionalities, just as hobbies. It’s like never ending craving for new types of the collected items. Fun, fun, fun!
When I was elementary schooler, I collected stamps – at least five albums & some un-albumed packs of foreign stamps before finally I gave up. Where are those albums now? No idea where they are, probably my cousins took care of them. I was fond of nail polish, bead necklaces and hair bands…. Yeah, so glad remembering that — I was feminine, yes I was….
Another I remember is pencil collection, it was when I was 15. Any types of pencil were nested in a big fancied cartons and cans – 200+++ until finally I gave up…. Where did they end their “life”? Cant remember, I thought I gave them away to anybody wanted to take them.
Longer list…. Turtle & tortoises figurines, batik sheets, overseas coins, natural stones, gemstones, crystals, orchids, refrigerator magnetics, socks, silver and other metals…. And, many more collecting thingy.
What are those all things for? Just to feed desire of having this and that, wanting this and that, the word need was forgotten and/or ignored. Did I need the used stamps? Economic value was never a concern; I’ve never considered myself a sales-person type. Did my two hands operated hundreds of pencils? Who takes care of those collections — I leave them in my house in Indonesia…. So sad. Just these very recent months I decided to stop collecting. My attention and action shall be more meaningful to more people rather than just making me contented or proud of having bunch of things.
Supporting animal rescuers (cats and dogs), and communities helping underprivileged people (health and education) are the best choices now. Not because of having so much money to donate, but it is more about how to allocate the capitals wisely. No rates of return expected except that I want to be less guilty of enjoying this blessing selfishly.
Thanks Universe, for waking me up, for opening my very eyes wide, for presenting the needy before me…. Now, the challenge is to work constantly hard and smart to be able to share more without feeling “being more”. My time to breeze…..!
Sweet disclaimer: probably the consistent collection is books ‘coz reading is like eating, without it I’ll die… Hope reading will be everlasting hobby of mine. Reading with eyes, reading with mind, reading with soul.
Picture borrowed from http://liquid-state.com/2014/04/25/people-buy-books-love-books-isnt-obvious/
Singapore – October 19, 2014 – 9:36pm
Hello, Humans
Hello, Humans….
How would you care about me? Animal that lives in the same planet with you…. Please respect me.
If you have to kill us, it is not because of your sense of violence. If you have to kill us, it is because we are the chosen in sincere and beautiful way. Please don’t make joke of us before killing us, don’t torture us before and when killing us. Please do it gracefully. Please….
Singapore – October 4, 2014 – 3:24pm
Shrines in Kyoto
Temples are scattered around Kyoto, Japan. I visited three of them…. Many remaining to visit in my next trip to Kyoto.
Bell
Mr. Stork…. perching on the roof of the shrine gate
The sky, blue….
Green and tidy….
Water from dragon mouth….
Lamp post, giant
And summer flowers are just decorating Kyoto street…. Sweetly greeting me.
Singapore – September 14, 2014 – 11:13pm
Water lily in Borobudur
A small terra-cotta bowl with water
And water lily plant is resting on it
Blooming; blossoms are happy under the sun
Emitting the spirit of eternity – living without dying, how? Spreading good deed and love to the globe….
The leaf is so near with the mud…. Living so close to the dirt – down to earth
The color…. so brightly graceful – ignoring where it grows.
See it close…. Details of water lily stun me.
Life is about composing a beautiful friendship by living to the fullest with the outstanding quality of each of the person….
There was a time when I was so enclosed, look so plain and insecure, hidden in my firm unreadiness to reveal my own self.
And, there was a time when I was so aware of my tainted body.
And, when all is done, who can deny the beauty?
Oh there was something, bothering? Sometimes…. But it was just a bug, a virus named insecure friend visiting once in a while to feel the revealing security.
Ooohhhhhh Ms. Sun, are you so radiant showering me so much light? Thank you….
All pictures were taken on September 7, 2014 in Borobudur Museum, Magelang, Indonesia.
YCK Road – September 8, 2014 – 5:49
One Year Older
Birthday has never been so important for me except (maybe) when I was 17 years old…. Sweet seventeen, not really sweet but sweet enough to celebrate it with my all classmates in my third grade of senior high; additionally, tandem with a boyfriend (a friend who was a boy) born on the same day but one year older than me.
Tomorrow (some minutes ahead) I’ll be one year older…. And, I don’t feel it special except (maybe) that I will fly to Yogyakarta then ride to Borobudur to trace back my soul journey.
Picture borrowed from http://www.dpreview.com/galleries/2249911620/photos/1723070/
My father was born near Borobudur temple and I think it is just serene to feel the breeze of that site in my early 39.
I feel so thankful, I feel so blessed for having been granted this life of mine. Being single – not as happy as the married women out there but I am still happy with so much time to take care of my self and to dedicate to my family and friends and many more. Idealistic, huh? Indeed, that is the only thing I can work on to live my life: crystalizing the concept from my scattered moments and spreading my concepts to all the monumental seconds of my breath.
I am not sorry to be current me. I’ve been going through ups and downs; the highest alps and the lowest abyss — my own scale.
Do you know that all my mother, father in heaven, sisters, brother, nieces, nephews and my beloved cats and all friends have been my biggest supporters. They supply me with their cabling energy that connect to me through my dreams and fantasy — their love has magically turn my imagination into reality.
So, I won’t leave them like those who never leave me….
Happy birthday to me. I love me. Long live me.
Yio Chu Kang Rd – September 6, 2014 – 12:03 / just after midnight
It is Lebaran Tomorrow
Idul Fitri – many of Indonesians call it Lebaran – is welcomed after Ramadhan. It is a happy day on which muslims have a big fiesta after fasting for one full month. We gather to pray together on the first day of 10th month of Hijriyyah calendar called Syawal month, have breakfast after that as a symbol of celebrating the victory of conquering the struggle within Ramadhan….
In Indonesia people have unique culture in celebrating this day. Many will arrange a “mudik” – going back to their home town to especially pay homage to family: parents, old generation, extended family. Mudik is generated from a Malay word meaning “headwaters”, the start of a river. So, mudik means going back to the start of a river – the place of origin.
Imagine millions of muslim exodus from big cities to small towns all over the country just to say hello and have small chit-chat once in a year. What a beautiful culture it is! People appreciate the high value of family bond or at least their bond with their “headwaters”. They try to remind themselves about where they come from…. Spiritually it is a symbol of tracing back the source of soul, tracking the journey that has brought us to this point.
After fasting for one month – just like caterpillar stop eating and starting to spin, becoming cocoon eating & drinking nothing – they start to realize that it is time to realize the beauty of soul like butterfly…. Butterfly taps its memory the phases of being egg, caterpillar, cocoon…. Mudik, tracing back the place of origin.
This might be not a make believe story but people in Indonesia are willing to get trapped with traffic jam for hours to be able to get back to hometown. In same cases they even cannot reach the hometown on the expected day but they are still happy on the way to home….
Ahhhhhh this is not easy to describe. But this Lebaran I have to stand by in Singapore for an assignment and can’t meet my mom in Indonesia.
I am ok as long as my mom ok but for sure I promise to myself that I have to mudik in Syawal month so I still can feel the spirit of Lebaran….
This is the feeling of longing for mudik – cannot tell properly how it feels but at least I shout it out here….
Mudiiiiiiiik!
Picture borrowed from http://www.meykkesantoso.com/2014/07/perkara-yang-musti-dilakukan-saat-di_29.html
Yio Chu Kang Rd, July 28 – 12:08am
Long Before
Long before I hug you under the shed of light, you have chosen me to do….
It is not my intention. It is your wish to do….
Wings folded,
Halo un-rung,
Down to me you flew….
To my life, to my heart, to get absorbed by my soul.
And,
Time to press the button:
Last day of your physical being to be with us….
They call it death, let’s call it gate….
You’ve chosen somebody else,
I’m okay.
Be safe.
Be great. Be the bearer of the light….
I never regret for being your human – tears flowing isn’t a sign of sadness. Allow me to cry when remembering you, it is a celebration of my pride of being a mom of a cat that is now waiting to be born as a human being….
Wherever you are, be loving, be loved….
Thank you, Bob….
Singapore – July 23, 2014 – 11:22
A Goose, A Kitten and A Bear
I saw a gracefully-moving goose, swimming…. Not swimming, she was paddling her feet below the water to show me that life is beautiful but with circulating movement of inner power. How do human being look so calm but struggling to reach the other end of their journey which is at the same point is the start of another trip….
Picture borrowed from http://ibc.lynxeds.com/photo/swan-goose-anser-cygnoides/swan-goose
I saw then played with a bear. The eyes are soft so intriguingly contradictory with his sharp claws and teeth. Oye, Mr. Bear…. Please hug me in your huge warm body to feel that your heart is distributing love to your real existence through your eyes…. Your claws are the only tools to survive from others’ attack. Your strength is ultimately powerful to pump your core of love to my life, your strong boundary shares my selfishness of being a spiritual being – I will never want others to dictate my spiritual journey. You take the honey from my hands softly because you know that I only have heart full of love for you. I have nothing but love…..
Picture borrowed from https://addons.opera.com/en/themes/details/sweet-bear/
For me this life is a group of circling boundaries set by Mr. Bear; boundaries full with claws that have been defeated by his loving eyes…. Take the claws and del the love.
And, I saw a kitten…. Kitten, my baby….. Thank you for staying with me for quite sometime. You accompanied me when I was sobbing and curling near the lake. You sat next to me doing nothing except staring at me with full of questions:
“Why are you crying?
Don’t you know I am your angel?
Don’t you realize that you are my guardian angel?
What do you know about us?
How do you produce your tears? Are they from the bottom of your soul? Would you please teach me how to cry sincerely?
Soul, don’t you know you are beautiful and deserve to enjoy this blessed life? Soul, do you know that I will always be with you?
How would you stop crying of missing the real one, while I am here with you? Would you please hug me and whisper to my ears that I am your loved one?”
….
The kitten, he is now a sacred soul with me in this very world…. Thanks for being with me when I was weeping by the lake. Thanks for whispering to my spirit that you love me truly. My dear kitten, you are opening your Life and my Eyes…. Live love, Love…..
They sat with me by the lake where I saw the reflection of my spirit….
My dear Bob, now he is living in a real heaven with full of love all his life….
Singapore – July 7, 2014 – 10:57pm
Busy
I am so busy with myself.
My friends — some — think I’ve been so ignorant to them.
Then they left me behind.
Not sure what they want form me. They want my attention maybe…. But they at the same time forget that I need to share my self with my own self. I’ve been giving them my whole attention and it is time to hold! Hold.
I am sorry, my dear friends….
Please move on. With your hatred to me. Or, with your ignorance to me. Or, with your disappointment to me. Or, with whatever you have or not have for me…. Place and time are yours, and mine is now and here. Let’s move on to our direction we’ve chosen with all our heart.
Let’s love our selves; because before loving the air, we should be able to love our breath…. Let me love my self now; that way I can show you truly how I do love you.
No matter how goddamn upset with me, please forgive me. Please go on leaving me. Please love your self. Please let me love my self…. Let’s breathe freely.
The light is at the end of the tunnel. You reach it at the end of yours and I do mine. That fair.
Thank you, dear friends…..
Shangri-La Kuala Lumpur – June 20, 2014 – 11:22pm
Picture borrowed form http://fit.webmd.com/teen/mood/rmq/rm-quiz-toxic-friends
The Power of Loss
I lost another cat of mine – Greece…. He is the cat coming to mom’s house in my latest visit to her. He came in early morning following our early cat, Greg who goes home every morning for breakfast. I sat on the front bench and Greece was shy, sitting under the bench – could not eat, too weak to do anything. He was skinny, with eyes closed and sticky with eye gunk all over….
Even after cleaning his eyes were still full of eye gunk
My mom as usual is not so keen with cat but then I decided to adopt him. So, I cleaned his eyes, fed him with fish + soft rice, brought him to vet for general checking on his body, his eyes and for vermicide drops. The vet said Greece’s fur motive is pretty – like Bengal cat. And, we took care of him well from then on. My mom showed better welcome. She loves cats actually – just her old age makes her weaker to get another one to nurse….
Ready for vet
I went back to Singapore – hoping to see Greece again in the near future – July maybe.
Better condition, he looked happier – he slept with me during my stay in mom’s home – about 4 nights
But he passed away…. He passed away yesterday – May 23 at 12:45pm.
My mom was also sad – did not want to tell me because I know she would not want to see me cry as I did for Bob’s death last February. The last message from her was that Greece puked and did not show up for 24 hours. When he got back home he was weak and ready for vet – but mom should wait for motorcycle to go. After that no news…. Until yesterday 6:14pm she just replied me through blackberry-messenger only when I asked her “How is Greece?”
“Dear, Greece passed away at 12:45pm today….”
Then I felt the loss again – not so big as when I lost Bob but it is strong enough to stop my mood to work.
Greece is my beloved after Bob. Greg and Greek are the next….
I learn a lot about loss and have always felt the power over me. It gives me courage to dive deep into my soul that I am connected to all beloved surrounding. If not connected, why should I feel the grief? And, shoo I be connected, what am I gonna do? Sobbing? Moving on and forgetting the passing-away? Or, marking it as another milestone of this soul path? The choice is here now.
But at the same time loss teaches me what love is really is. Love is always releasing beloved to go, to reach the next phase of life – even if the next is death.
Greece, you were with us not so long but has taught us how to cope with loss and how to love….
Mom shared with me how sad she is when remembering you and Greek followed her to aunt’s house and went back home tailing her when mom said “Come, come babies, go home…”
Thanks, Greece…. Let’s happily meet on another day in paradise.
Last condition before I went back to Singapore – healthier, happier, in fact ready to depart
YCK Rd – May 24, 2014 – 12:36pm
Super Woman
How would you describe a super woman?
Strong like Wonder Woman? Or, like Supergirl? Or whatever American heroines in Marvel comics and movies? That can defeat villains in one blow? What a perfect description. I can’t deny but I wouldn’t 100% agree with that.
My mom is a super woman, with all these ups and downs she survives, even she can share in her lowest level of condition.
She has had debt because she had to send all her children to school. Some children of hers were still under her responsibility: financially.
But, she is as strong as rock! With all those trials, she can even melt herself into a beautiful character that would be carved as one of the most valuable pedestal in this life. She is so tough, so precious, she is just as popular as Mother Theresa. Indeed her heart is sacred as that saint from India.
Yet, she is as soft as seaweed…. Imagine how wonderful her touch is to my heart, to her children’s heart, pets’ heart, the heart of those needy she’s been helping, the heart of God….
Rock and seaweed: Both survive in the sea water.
Do you know what she has done?
She takes care of three cats – stray cats which now become healthy and sweet pets in our home – Greg (formerly Mr. Grey), Greek and Greece after Bob passed away. More than that, she is also “taking care” of the mice which would come at night eating the left over of food our family throw away just before we lock our doors. She does think that good deed will never be wrong.
Would probably update what she has done in the future for all of Readers in the world 🙂
This might be something not highly special but my mom does that sincerely. Her love is always as true as her life.
I love you, ibuku…. Love live!
YCK Rd – May 20, 2014 – 1:17am
You, Me, Shadow?
opening the door,
will I see you?
or, is it only your shadow? pretending to be you….
did I live with you? or with your shadow?
is it now that you are real or shadow?
tears flow, flowing along the path pushing through the door at the end.
what end? is there an end?
or a start? what should be started?
are you there?
welcoming me or welcoming my shadow?
am I real me or just my shadow?
just the two of us….
staring at each other – shadow to shadow?
I just hope you are the one behind the door….
Hilton KL – April 30, 2014 – 12:49am
Alun
Alun….
Mengalun di laut, menerpa angin, diterpa angin.
Matahari menghias riak di ujung-ujung alun, bahai beledu bertebaran di karpet biru dan hijau laut.
- Alun adalah
- nafas satu-satu menyambung harapan pada kehidupan
- degup jantung menghitung rasa hati
- jentikan jemari membersihkan kuku yang memanjang setiap hari
- semua, semua yang datang dalam untaian bebatuan mulia dalam hidup ini.
Alun, di laut kau mengingatkanku
Untuk selalu bersabar memberimu jarak, biar tetap mengalun….
Hilton KL – 27 April 2014 – 9:40 malam
Gambar dipinjam dari http://www.cepolina.com/sea-blue-turquoise-pureness.html
Bob’s 40th Day
This is the 40th day of his leaving me….
My dear cat, my dear son….
40th day is when soul is finally ready to completely leave this physical world – letting go of all who are loved to be sincerely separated physically….
Bob is now fully releasing me. And I am, too… Thank you, Bob for being my beloved – you’ll always be. Be peaceful, seeing me from behind the curtain of light. Be happy to see me, I will see you…
Sampeyan wis seneng ya, le…. Kuburanmu ora entuk disekar karo sing manggon ning ngarepmu lho, le…. Wonge wedi he he he…. Wis, ndhak papa – tak dongakne ae malah luwih matoh.
Salam kanggo Bapak Jokanan dan Didang ya….
I love you, Bob…..
Yio Chu Kang Rd – April 4, 2014 – 11:30pm
Flow
At the end of a long contemplation, what can be found is a vast ocean of forgiveness….
Forgive ourselves,
Love ourselves…..
Harris Hotel, Batam Center, Batam – March 26, 2014 – 10:32pm
Orchids On Our Back Wall
This is orchid planted at the back of my small hut in Tangerang Indonesia. I bought this Cattleya orchid un-flowered. I did not even ask what colour it is when it blooms. At that time Cattleya was not my favourite.
It was approximately 4 years ago. After several months perching gracefully on the back wall, it exhibited its first flower. One orchid….
Then one year later two flowers….
And, on February 27, 2014 when I called on my beloved home I saw four flowers blooming…. When I was mourning about my son, my flowers gave me the positive side of our home.
Bob, our orchids bloomed again for us….. The universe is conspiring to make me happy at the right time.
Quezon City – March 6, 2014 – 12:12
Light
My body is lighter, when I sleep…. I can fly to all places I want to go and meet with anybody I want to encounter with. As long as I sleep well, I would dream and only then I will remember what I dream when I wake up later. 
I should let myself be light, even lighter so that I can gain whatever I want to. I travel in my good sleep. I greet my beloved ones in my good sleep. I just need to sleep well to dream and at the same time to realise my dream. 
I believe my dream is as real as the reality when I am awake. My reality in awake state is when the body experiences all things in life. But in dream is when my soul lets my body take a rest and it goes by itself experiencing etheric reality…. So, no matter what I dream I would thank that in the name of God I get what my body has dreamt of in the day. Oh…. how light I am now, sleepy…. Need some good sleep and sweet dream. Let me meet my Bob, my late father and any other beloved ones living in the world, in this matrix…. I am sorry I am actually chattering….. Sorry but I feel so light and want to sleep to realise my dream….
YCK Rd – March 3, 2014 – 11:18pm
I Let You Go To The Other Side
Bob’s leaving us from this dimension is still a pain for me – small pain but big enough to make me feel emotionally burdened, overwhelmed and cry. And, it is now time for me to release more significantly because the way I mourn gave my lovely son a negative energy and made him walk insincerely to leave this dimension to the next level of his life – in the cat heaven, some best friends of mine said it.
So, I keep saying to myself that Bob is fine now. He is free from any physical pain and is ready to be embraced by the eternal love of guardian angels. Bob is ready to evolve to become my guardian and he can do it only by seeing me smile, by witnessing me letting him go, by sensing my releasing heart, by kissing him heavenly kisses. I shall not mourn anymore. I am not sad because he is leaving me, not because we are apart physically, not because the way he died…. I am not mourning anymore.
I told him….
“Bob, go across the bridge. I know you need to go. You need to transform to be able to be my guardian. You belong to eternity. Angels are waiting for you with a crown and a pair of lovely wings…. I let you go…. I thank you for being my son. I am sorry if I did not take care of you all the time, but I love you…. My mom – Ibu – loves you as well… Please don’t be sad, smile…. Smile, my baby. Walk steadily, my son…. You can visit me and Ibu when you miss us. Just come to our dream, to our meditative level of brain. You may call us with your vibrating soul. Touch us, greet us gently like you kissed us, like you touched us, like you licked our skin, like you did in our contact….”
I will still write about you…. For sure.
Press your soft paws to our cheek so we know when you are around. Please meow softly to us so we know that you are around. Let’s keep this love and fill the air with it. Namaste….
This song is for you, Bob….
“To Where You Are” (Josh Groban)
Who can say for certain
Maybe you’re still here
I feel you all around me
Your memory’s so clear
Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You’re still an inspiration
Can it be
That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above
Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are
Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn’t faith believing
All power can’t be seen
As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
‘Cause you are my
Forever love
Watching me from up above
And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave
Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are
I know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are
…..
Yio Chu Kang Rd – February 28, 2014 – 9:12pm
Sweet Memory Starts
My son Bob was a cat with soft heart. He would never quarrel except another cat attacked him. He would just groan and groan and groan but did not move from his spot. Only if the other tomcat jumped to him, would he fight to survive.
He would have a lot of reason to manipulate me. He would kiss my forehead, my nose, my lips or my cheeks to wake me up from my sleep to get whatever he wanted: food, drink or door to open.
Or, he would slip under my blanket to slew comfortably, only some time then he would climb out of the blanket and sleep above me. He would snore and spread his purring beautiful sound bringing peace into my small bedroom.
When you grew older, you did not want to cooperate since you had better life outside with your fellow cats. You always scratched the door to go out and it was always at 1:00am…. But for the sake of love, I opened the door for you, Bob…..
You loved perching on TV as if you were the God of (modern) Cat…. Lovely boy! You are always able to steal my heart, Bob.
When you were sick, you didn’t moan. You just take a silent position and keep the pain in you. I could not help except giving you the best food and medication which was probably not really the best for you…. I tried hard to keep you next to me, your soul next to mine.
Then I had to leave Indonesia to pursue my dream…. I cried happy but sad…. I was given a chance to make my self more experienced in life but then I had to leave you. Could I? Who would take care of you, Bob? I had to make a hard decision. I brought you to my mom’s house – she did not have a soft spot for pets indeed.
I knew you were so sad, leaving your home…. But you trusted me that you would find another home. And, yes my mom fell in love with you.
I visited you when I had time to sneak out of my hectic days – some leave or long weekend really helped us to meet up…. You looked happy, Bob. We had good time…. I fed you, stroked you, kissed you, hugged you, cuddled you, took picture of you, took care of your body which grew older….
My mom always said “Bob is a human, he understands how to love, he is more loving than some humans who destroy others’ happiness. Bob has given us a lot of joy…. Thanks God for everything.”
He likes to daydream in the terrace, looking at the other cats that were enjoying his food left-over. Too much to throw away, good to share with other cats…. 🙂
There was a time, we really got angry because of how people treat him. So cruel…. Beat him, splash him with water, hurt him in any way they like just because those neighbours hated cats. But Bob was too weak to counterstrike. He just went home with the wound then we would lovingly treated him until he got well. We loved you, Bob and we do and will always do.
Then came a message that you were sick, puking all food you ate. Eating then puking two hours later; that was a pattern. My could not do anything. Nobody would help to take her to the vet. She lives in a village where people are busy taking care of their own poverty – there was no thinking of getting medication for animal.
Plus my mom was so busy taking care of my sick sister. I am sorry, my son Bob. We had been so occupied by our humane life that we did not take a good care of you humanely. I am sorry, we are sorry.
My mom said Bob stayed at home since Friday (Feb’ 21) until today when she found him dead on the floor of one cool bedroom – it is where I slept when I was still staying with my family. It is the coolest room in the house.
I don’t want to remember how he died. I want to remember how he lived.
He lived as a son of mine, bringing me joy and a lot of blessings. He has been sacrificing his free will to be my family member. He was so willing to share his pureness with us. He shared his sincere soul to grow among us. He inspired us with love and sincerity. He let himself be part of the madness of human in our life. You gave us love, Bob…..
I released you with all my heart.
I heard a voice calling my name last night “Rike” and I just thought it was you telling me that it is time. You called me to give a sign…. I should not have been afraid, I should have remembered you who was trying to open the door “home”…..
Now you are home, Bob. It is the real home. Your body is buried but your soul is forever, here guarding me from any not-loving and insincerity. Thank you, son. Thank you for being flower of my soul. I know I am so heartsick, ibu* is so sad, too…. You know it, right? We know you know it. But you smile because it was your time. Time to go home, where we will also go to be together. Play, boy…. Play with the fragrance of flowers among the cats that can fly high to reach the Source without mourning.
I am sad for I was not with you when you were dying. But I know you know how much I love you. The pictures above are tokens of our relationship son – mother of cat. Hope you care to share your joy with the other souls who have gathered in the other side…. Or, even you care to share with the Source how you have made us accept life as it is.
Bob, you are always in our heart. Even the sweet memories have just started on Feb’ 25 when I heard the message that the bodily Bob died and the soul is wrapped in silk and put in a pretty basket embraced by a pair of sacred angels to the heaven.
Jakarta (Grand Hyatt), February 25, 2014 – 10:21pm
Asylum
Who needs asylum?
People who needs protection in one point of view, but considered disturbing in the other one. One group of people who are considered doing bad things in one country could be one deserved to get an asylum in another country. One (considered) mad man will be committed to asylum because of doing dangerous actions in one society.
Oh, Asylum….
Are you well defined? Do those people really do bad? Or, just want to help the people in their countries to liberate themselves or even just want to help themselves to liberate their mind. Those mad men are probably people who are not well understood by the society.
Asylum is just one place that provide protection until the society can understand what the people and mad men have done. Their actions are just their unique love that will be proven as pure as what saints have showered to the human kind. Their madness is just a way to unravel the twisted knead in their concept of life.
They are not really wrong, they are not really disturbing. They are just lost in their confusion and nobody can accept and help appropriately.
Let’s help ourselves accept the people now living in asylums as they are. They are human beings like us who are waiting to be reborn and become the best light worker on earth.
Just in front of Bunderan HI, Jakarta – February 24, 2014 – 11:29pm
Picture borrowed from http://unhcr.org.au/unhcr/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=304:art-competition-2013&catid=53:wrd-art-contest&Itemid=110
Children of Our Time
Children are the mirror of their era.
Are they happy? Or, are they miserable?
Are they optimist or pessimist?
Are they loved? Or ignored?
Are they nurtured? Or tortured?
Let’s love our children…. Like we love ourselves.
But let’s love ourselves first then… ‘Coz if we don’t love ourselves, how can we love our children?
And, all in all we are creating mirror of their time….
Singapore – February 22, 2014 – 3:58am
Mr. Gray
He used to be the biggest enemy of Bob in Bob’s earlier stay in my mom’s house. He was very skinny then, always trying to peep what Bob was having for meal. Bob would stay inside, not wanting to go out welcome by his evil stare.
Mr. Gray is a tomcat which is now occupying my mom’s terrace – one corner where a curling water hose is put.
I am Mr. Gray….
He is there every single day, sleeping and curling, yawning and waiting for meal after Bob has finished the food on the plate. He is not so much evil to Bob anymore because he knows he will never replace Bob’s position in our heart. But he is trying to behave nicer by staying away from Bob – except at night when Bob is outside we sometimes hear they still quarrel over female cats…. Let it be, they are real cats.
Mr. Gray has become new member in our family. We won’t let him in though. We just spare a corner outside that we think still comfortable for him to nap. We give him meal every time Bob finishes with the breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner or supper.
Mr. Gray would shout at us if we forget to feed him…. So sweet….
We know it is additional energy needed to share but it is good to share, even only with a cat.
Seeing that Mr. Gray behaves less evil to Bob, we are relieved. That Mr. Gray is fatter, we are thankful. That Mr. Gray lives a bit happily, we are also happy.
Thanks, Mr. Gray…. For being a good fellow creature enjoying the blessing under the sky…. We know you always pray for our good so that you can get good things from us.
We love you, Mr. Gray…. Go ahead napping….
Yio Chu Kang Rd, February 15, 2014 – 6:16pm
Mr. Gray is meowing: “Food, food…. I am hungry…”
Love’s Day – Why?
I have so much love in my heart. I don’t need one named day to express mine to anyone. I can express it today, tomorrow, any days in the future like I did it yesterday, tester month, long long ago…. I just need love to do it. If I still have love in heart, I still have things to share.
I might have no flowers for you, but I definitely send you fragrance of flowers in my love….
I might not have chocolate for you, but I save the bitter-sweet shape of love in every breath I take then give…
I don’t have symbols when giving love. I just do with all my heart.
Be it misunderstood as too much, it is not a problem for me.
I just love…
My love touches all… Only the one that can feel the touch.
If the love is not felt, hopefully my love can grow bigger so that it can reach the untouchable surface of heart….
Life is so short.
How short it is, I don’t know.
It is not countable like the age.
But in the un-measured shortness, let’s appreciate it by doing things.
Doing things, the best manner we can.
No matter what, we have no choice but doing to be…. Being….
Doing the best
Being human,
In the shortness of life
Spreading love….
Vibrating my loving soul to the universe….
I love you, mother.
I love you, sisters.
I love you, my dear Bob….
I love you all fellow creatures….
Peace be upon all the universe….
Singapore – February 14, 2014 – 12:19am
Flowers with Guests
Sometimes it is not easy to capture beauty…. It has become a rigid template so that many can’t understand why some people call some allegedly-ugly things beautiful.
Here is some beauty I captured through my humble heart. Happy to share with you with all my heart…. Peace be upon you all in this universe. Enjoy…
Tulips in Aesop’s counter….
Orchid in Indonesia Embassy in Singapore
Frangipani in Gardens by The Bay, Singapore
Cahaba lily in the Gardens by The Bay, Singapore
Hibiscus in alun-alun (town square) Tulungagung, East Java, Indonesia
Hibiscus in alun-alun (town square) Tulungagung, East Java, Indonesia
Bud of water lily and a guest – Mr. Dragonfly
Euphorbia in my mom’s house terrace
Flowers of garlic chives and the guest – Ms. Fly in my sister’s garden
Cat’s whisker in my mom’s house… Hey, if you are careful, two uncles Ant are there…
Chrysanthemum in Changi airport, Singapore
Oh…. the guest – Princess Bird – is trying to taste the nectar in an orchid stem….
Bromelia in Gardens by The Bay – Singapore
Hydrangea (five colour flower) in Changi airport – Singapore
Adenium in Ina’s front garden – Tulungagung, East Java, Indonesia
Bromelia in Changi airport, Singapore
Singapore – February 9, 2014 – 2:47pm
My Love Is Forever Growing
I am almost 40 years old. So happy, without reason — age is not a reason to be happy. I just accept the way I am growing old, physically and mentally.
I was born in a family of seven. My late father, a wise simple man. My mother, the beautiful Javanese woman who is nurtured by this grand nature to be a super patient lady. Two brothers and two sisters. We are seven in a package, with ups and downs and some knots in our journey of life. And, now I have one son called Bob (Robert de Niro is his full name), my dear cat I’ve adopted as a son several years ago.
One more grey cat – we named him Mr. Gray – sleeps every single day in our verandah; so, let’s call him another additional family member.
I can’t give something extraordinary to them except one. Love…
I have nothing that grows forever, everlasting and without limit except love. I send it to my family members every single second with or without realising it.
All my family is in Indonesia. I am in a small country, Singapore. Not really far but less accessible sometimes.
When missing my family, I just open their pictures and send them my positive vibration. Or, I close my eyes, imagine their faces and send my energy to them.
It is a cloudy day, my love is still growing…. I am sending positive energy from Singapore to Indonesia, to cover my family or even all people there so that they feel the love that grows forever.
I also send my love to my dear Bob that has been so much lovely in his presence and absence to my physical. I love you, cat…
Mr. Gray, my love is for you. Be still, there coiling your fattening body until a plate of meal is served to you… Of course you should be patient until Bob is doing and you will have to have your meal together with him.
My love is also for all my neighbours, friends and all animals there… Be happy. I hope things go right… All violence is eradicated. You are living in happiness and peace…
To the world, earth and all the creatures in it… My love is growing forever for me and you… for us…
This love is precious. Never go away….
Singapore, February 8, 2014 – 5:11pm
Love Across The Border
I am away from home.
I am far away from family.
My closest family is Bob – a stray cat I adopted about five years ago when I was living in a rented room in Tangerang. Bob came to my landlady’s house every afternoon when I got home. I used to sit on one sofa inside or outside the house when he started to look at my chewing mouth.
“Are you hungry, cat?” From then on I never forgot to bring some food for him.
Now he is with my mom, in her village — 1,921 kilometres away from Singapore.
He is a spoiled son of mine. Almost all of my mom’s neighbours know that Bob is my “son” and they never dare disturb – if only all knew. Some don’t know and they would do things bad if they feel my cat (or any other cats) don’t behave… Oh man…. You behave please, a cat purely behave – you just don’t know.
I post Bob’s pictures on my fridge’s body and on the board of my workstation. I will greet his face in the photos everyday when I am in town. When I am traveling I kiss and smile at his saved pics in my smartphone. I feel like Bob is never far from me. My love and care for him is just the same from the first time I trained him to get used to my skin by touching on my toes on his body until finally he is fond of being caressed and stroked.
I sometimes salute him a Namaste from here just to whisper to his soul that we are never apart. Oh, what a special cat he is. Yes, indeed.
Bob was the only friend of mine when everybody did not want to be with me. Bob was the one staring at me when I was crying alone in my house. Bob was the one reminding me when there was someone climbing up to my house rooftop and saved me. Bob was the one who reminded me that there is always a soul caring…. And, he is the one making me so much full of energy in earning money. I sent some money to my mom to buy some food for him and of course for my mom…. 🙂 So simple my motivation, it is just a cat and a woman.
This Chinese New Year I hope I can go back home again to see Bob. I will let him know that my love to him is across the border. Not just a river I can sail across but it is the sky that I fly across to find good life for him.
Hi Bob, thanks for being my dear son for the past five years. Please behave, be healthy and live long. I always miss you….
Yio Chu Kang Rd – January 17, 2014 – 10:13pm
It was when he was sick before I went to a business trip for 3 days, I put him in an animal clinic that did not take care of him as well as I expected. Well, it was then…. Now he is ok with my mom and sisters.
Responsible Choices
Life is about choices, many people say. Not easy to choose the best one though.
My life is also full of choices. Every single day is between what in one hand and what in the other. Always two: this or that, here or there, now or never….
Am I thinking too much when I remember the day when I was so nervous and sorry for having chosen wrongly. Choose wrongly? What have I done? Many.
Thought I chose the wrong man that we broke up even with no strong ground. The worst relationship was actually the mostly-hoped-to-be-long-lasting; the guy literally dumped me because he just told me through short-message-service that “it is over”. Painful?
Thought I worked to wrong boss because that very good friend turned to be the most wicked vixen on earth — no wisdom I found at all when she became a boss. I left the company bringing a bunch of regret and wounds. How could one of best friends treat people like shit?
Thought I made a mistake when taking this current job because I learned that the stress was very high and being perfection is like an occult. I felt the stress and just wanted to go home. Even 5-star facilities could not help. What I experienced was chains of pressure and underestimation.
Thought I took care of myself the best I could. I thought I took care of my cat the best I could. I thought I did, I thought I didn’t….
All I thought are now turning into what I personally call “my glorious ordinary” — something in daily life so ordinary but making me gain victory every single day, no regret only big lessons.
The unfair relationship has taught a girl to be a more mature woman that would never let any man to just do whatever he wants to pretend to love her. A mature woman who still believes that freedom is not only man’s privilege; it is also woman’s right. My choice is right.
Working in a historical office with unskilled boss would make an ex employee aware that to be a leader someone has to be able to lead one’s self. Management becomes very urgent. Never let others decide what you believe is right and do what you believe is right. That lousy boss has even strengthened one’s character. My choice is right.
Working in a place where people want to gain perfection is one of honorable positions. It doesn’t make people become better than the rest but at least it makes people believe that they have the right to do their best. No need to be shiny in the world and get the big name but of doing stupid things but just to be glowing in the heart by being useful to people. My choice is right.
Making choice should be responsibly.
Won’t ever let myself choose irresponsibly like torturing animals that have nothing but receiving whatever human beings want to do about this earth. Never. Animals are also fellow creatures. Let’s love them the way we love ourselves….. Why don’t we start stopping violence to animal by adopting stray dogs or cats? Or, even by buying product (including cosmetics) that don’t apply animal testing.
Picture borrowed from http://viveashphotography.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/dsc_1303small.jpg
Won’t let myself make someone do things without any good reasoning. You want people to be good? What is good? Tell them why they should be that good. If they want, that’s good. If not, that’s good but there should be risk of not doing good.
Things are changing but no need to worry because change does not define us. Choice defines us.
Let’s choose with love. What is that? Choosing responsibly:
Choosing to not force our violent behavior to the weak. Choosing to amend regret by seeing the learning part of life steps. And letting fellow creature think of why we are choosing then letting them choose….
Life is full of choices and today I believe I choose the best way to express section of my unconscious mind here now….
Singapore – January 11, 2104 – 1:42am
Celebrating Beautiful Life
Picture 1. Butterfly
Butterfly is beautiful. The colorful feathers reflect the incredible process of natural art. Always perfect combination of colors is expressed on them.
But, would you think deeper than just beauty without processes behind?
Many of us know that before being butterfly, a butterfly have to undergo some processes starting from being a tiny “meaningless” egg, ugly no-sexy-guy-oh caterpillar, blanket of cocoon fasting the whole month suffering from whatever it is…. Such a long way to be radiant flying colors!
But how many of us want to think of how precious those processes are for us to learn a lesson.
Being a tiny meaningless egg is not easy although you just have to stick yourself to a piece of leaf. You become a stamp to a piece of leaf – identifying “hey, please see this leaf is as important as a letter that should reach the recipient….” The tiny egg should be appreciated with high respect, it is a potential to grow. The egg is dependent on the environment – it only has a potential but not yet transformed. Let’s appreciate our tiny weeny egg in ourselves. If we can’t appreciate the lying egg, there goes our dream but to vain.
Picture 2. Hey, I am a tiny weeny eggy….
Oh the no-sexy guy caterpillar is crawling, so disgusting…. No way! It is disgusting because of our misunderstanding of it. It gives you poison and makes you itchy all over when you touch that guy but of course…. The guy is trying to protect himself. Who’s gonna say “yes, please” without struggling if threatened by suffering or death? Even dying itself is struggling in either saying goodbye to current physical or accelerating to reach the next door of life…. So, the guy is protecting his life, his dream and his growing potential – he knows now that he will have stronger potential. But he knows only eating…. Yes, that is what he needs to do because the life is calling him to eat, eat, eat – craving for any single thing edible for him…. He knows he’s gonna be fasting, gonna be poor, so saving for rainy days he is.
Mr. Caterpillar, please enjoy this grand life. Eat all the leaves, eat all sweetness of life, eat, eat, eat…. Craving for all… Stay hungry, stay foolish – that’s what’s Steve Jobs said. And, by staying hungry & foolish somebody does not have other interpretations of life except for studying, learning, eating (a must). Mr. Caterpillar’s belly won’t burst for sure because….
Mr. Caterpillar feel some hair is growing. He keeps eating but feels that he is gonna die. He becomes weaker and weaker, wiser and wiser then stops eating and goes to sleep.
Picture 3. Oh…. I am sorry I just don’t have the gut to see the guy….
In his sleep, in the grand slumberland he is connected to himself as miles of thread covering him that make universe call him cocoon…. He does not want to eat because his mount is now evolving, he just accepts whatever happens to his fatty long body that dries and slims because of fasting. More silk is coming our of his back – not hair anymore…. The silk is weaving itself to what ever they are – sort of leaves? Oh, Mr. Cocoon starts to forget his being a no-sexy guy oh caterpillar. He just concentrate in whatever process is now happening to him – no nerve is let out, all acceptance of being molten into a new creature…. Days in a woven web of something coming out of his back.
Oh, Mr. Cocoon feels something in his body move. There are leaves on his back now that still wrap him in the dark but it is time to open himself. Flowing fluid is pumped into his long nervous tissue.
His leaves – feather – are expanding, pushing out themselves to open a door of “dead” Mr. Cocoon. Slim legs are digging out the cocoon bag. Nobody should should help because anybody’s help can kill the newly-born butterfly. Let the butterfly bear its own birth. Just watch, smile and we’ll see he is capable of going out of his own darkness.
Picture 4. Mr. Cocoon
And, here is a beautiful butterfly.
A short process discussed in Entomology but it is a long process for one tiny egg on a leaf to become a real magnificent butterfly.
Please appreciate every tiny potential on earth since we never know what it would go to be. Give love to any potential and it will grow to a butterfly.
Picture 5. Celebrating beautiful life
I am happy to have been a tiny meaningless egg, a no-sexy guy of caterpillar yeah, a weary cocoon for all those processes have made me who I am.
Singapore – November 27, 2013 – 2:33pm
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Picture 1 borrowed from http://www.deviantart.com/morelikethis/artists/210881601?view_mode=2
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Picture 2 borrowed from http://www.learner.org/jnorth/tm/monarch/egg_butterflies_gallery.html
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Picture 3 borrowed from (oh sorry….)
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Picture 4 borrowed from http://lifecycle.onenessbecomesus.com/cocoon.html
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Picture 5 borrowed from http://www.wallpaper.ge/view-beautiful_life-1280×800.html
rike jokanan 
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