Beautiful number Not angelic, not structured- It’s just your number. 10102020
What’s Your Number? – haiku
Tag: life
Time of A Poet
Time in a poet’s hands is a marching group of Morse code ready to decipher…. (throwback silence of February 6, 2015 at 11:59pm)
Loss & Found – haiku
Loss and found. That’s life. Like it or not. Come and go. High and low. Enjoy.
May all beings be happy….
Signs – ranting
When sign means nothing,
She’s maybe illiterate
Or dead desperate.
—
I had a conversation with a good friend, the topic was “sign”. This particular friend cannot read most of non verbal signs and hints from her spouse clearly. What her spouse shows non verbally won’t trigger any curiosity from her; except when he expresses it verbally then she will understand. Facial gestures, body language, more seriously mental vibration won’t do her any ring anymore.
I thought it was strange as a couple should be able “to read” each other’s feeling or idea with a blink of an eye! At least that’s my ideal couple goal.
Then after a while I can relate to what has happened to me.
I’ve been living away from family for more than 25 years; the 7 of which I’ve lived totally home alone (cats and other pets not counted). And that 7-year period is when I think I’ve lost the ability to read what my family is trying to communicate to me. We either don’t understand “the language” or we just can’t accept “the reasoning”. When it comes to language, I feel that our ability to read kinds of personal or cultural gestures have diminished either with my ignorance to their loving and caring behaviour or with their insensitivity to my practicality and logical thinking. We just don’t know how to match things in many occasions and usually we’ll just tolerate each other by saying “no worry, as long as you are happy and healthy”.
When I asked what happened to my friend and her spouse, she said “I just don’t know what language I should use to communicate with him”. Hmm exactly what I experience with my mother and siblings.
“Why don’t you try guessing whatever you see from him? Just to show that you care?”
“I’ve tried but it looks unnatural. He asked me why I did weird questioning and guessing.”
“It is ok, unnatural at the beginning but will be natural when you find the click”.
“We won’t find a click anymore. We are not happy and not meant to be.”
Eh?
At that point I couldn’t say anything. I think she is not illiterate, she’s seriously desperate.
Gosh! Life is a mystery! We, her close circle have always thought they’re the happiest and I’m the lonely. Now I think it is time to be thankful just for a minute to be happier even than the happiest.
May all beings be happy…..
Mirror – haiku
If she’s not ready
To see herself. Stop giving
A mirror. Give gin!
—-
Sometimes you lose your confidence to tell your friend what you truly know about what happens to one; not because you are afraid of losing a friendship, but just because you know that one will lose one’s confidence by seeing one’s own true face.
Ya, sometimes you will sacrifice your position – before someone you keep doing yourself a stupid idiot (please excuse my language to myself) who will only act as a yes-friend to make someone get more and more drunk with fake realities.
A good friend, are you?
May all beings be happy….
Blind Love – haiku
Dear Beloved, I’m
Imprisoned in blind Love
Who taught me colors.
Singapore – July 23, 2020 / 22:54
May all beings be happy.
I’m Less Than A Dust – haiku
I’m less than a dust
But bigger than galaxy.
Would you please accept?
—
Some people just wanna stay at one point, forever good, forever winning. Two chances: impossible and improbable combined in a giant jar of lottery
Can you just accept that some people can’t accept your being a dust? Others can’t accept your being galaxy and the other small portion can accept you swinging between these two realities. Take the last group to be your true friends coz they will know when to speak bitter truth to see who you are and when to just throw you sugar-coated appraisals to cajole you in challenging situation.
Be dust and be galaxy
Never forget that you are dust in the galaxy at times,
And galaxy full of dust at others….
May all beings be happy.
Messy Like Heaven – ranting
Messy like heaven.
After cooking I feel tired
Of all the dirty
Pots, plates, spoons, knives and rubbish.
Full without eating—
—
I am naturally a picky eater, but trying my best to eat every thing served as long as healthy and non poisonous. I even let myself eat those I’m allergic to – just to prove to this weak Self that this body can bear the poison though has failed now and then.
Today I cooked one traditional food from Java island of beautiful archipelago, my dear Indonesia – buntil.
It is stuffed cassava leaves wraps, you can also use papaya leaves. The content can be as cheap as grated young coconut only or added with anchovy or meat or any protein that you wish to have in the meal. This time I make a fusion – buntil stuffed with Korean stir fried anchovies with pumpkin seed and walnuts. The fusion is just because I could not find the seed that originally cooked in the Java island, we call it “petai Cina” (please use your freedom to find what it is in Google). I bought the Korean side dish coz I don’t know how to make it.
This is cheap and humble dish that is traditionally eaten as side dish with rice. But it has become a rare food where I live now – even people from Indonesia might not find it interesting anymore. Not sure why but alas! Everybody has one’s own liking. I’m so grateful that the cleaning lady knocked my door and brought some earth products that I’ve missed dearly – bamboo shoot, banana flower, cabai rawit and cassava leaves! So why not making food that I’ve missed so dearly, too.
I’m happy with the result, knowing that there are details of ingredients and still a good success. But the after cooking was not so happy seeing piles of dirty containers and cooking utensils that I had to wash by myself…. Heaven!
Anyway! Let’s see the happy scenes! Unhappy scenes of cleaning and tidying up the shelves and cabinets are off the records!
Welcome next good week!
May all beings be happy….
Slowing Down Footsteps – ranting
Slowing down footsteps
Pace along an ancient route.
Trace back your soul path.
Now here
—
Thought sometimes gets puzzled why thing happens to the Self, while logically she has made best possible efforts to control it not to emerge into events. At times emotions pour like heavy rain or they numb all nerves.
Then the Self realises that all is about tracing back the soul path: paying one’s karma, optimising one’s dharma.
Dear, Self.
You’d better pass major lessons in the current life. You shouldn’t want to fail the same lessons: acting lame or repeatedly meeting lame spirits wrapped in different physical planes, or both at the same time.
Dear, Beloved.
If it is not done,
Don’t let me slip from Your hands.
May all beings be happy….
You’re Different, My Love – haiku
You’re different, my Love.
Don’t turn your full life to none.
Keep your head. Alone….
Singapore – Jun. 26, 2020 / 22:31
—
I won’t let you change your life just to be with me. Fly, dear Self.
As you wish
‘Coz you’re the master of your own Life.
May all beings be happy.
Stumbled On Music – haiku
Stumbled on music,
Ears hum into melody.
Life is always good.
Singapore – Jun. 24, 2020 / 21:11
—
Life is always good with music.
May all beings be happy.
Eyes Are Partying – haiku
Eyes are partying.
Sleepless night is back online.
Is lockdown over?
Singapore – Jun. 24, 2020 / 12:45am
My desk misses me so much!
Pardon, your bed misses you so much?
No. It’s the bike misses me so much!
Oh? You mean the couch misses you so much?
May all beings be happy.
Picture borrowed from Shusama Patel Thank you….
When The Rain Hugs Her – haiku
When the Rain hugs her,
Sun is weaving Light spectrum.
Does she see the arch?
Singapore – June 22, 2020 / 23:32
—-
I love the rain as it warms my heart and waters my hopes.
May all beings be happy.
Morning Greets Sweetly – haiku
Morning greets sweetly
Eyes that open lazily.
Love is truly blind.
Singapore – June 19, 2020 / 21:40
—
Only human beings own the ability to manipulatively respond to anything, while other beings will always respond honestly as they are. Morning will always present bright colours either with the shining sun, cooling rain, wrapping cloud, awaiting meeting, and other possible hustle-bustle of the job; yet people will not always smile in the morning. There are those choosing to start the day with heavy burden and drudging steps.
If you wanna see what true love is, find the love shown by the nature and learn through it.
May all beings be happy.
Listen To The Masks – haiku
Listen to the masks
Hanging ear to ear. Take one,
Let the party start.
Singapore – Jun. 17, 2020 / 19:45
—-
You need your masks, not to hide but to show the kindness of a human being even if you have to suffer in the dark.
May all beings be happy.
Awake While Asleep – haiku
Awake while asleep:
Concocting cocktails of dreams,
Or mocktails of facts—
Singapore – Jun. 15, 2020 / 18:30
—
If you think your life is too crazy, drink some mocktail. If too plain, add a bit of cocktail. Don’t let any concoction make you either 100% asleep or fully awake.
You get that, dear Self?
May all beings be happy.
The Lost Paradise – tanka
The lost paradise
Found— By whom? Where? When? And how?
By you, here, now….. Halt!
Between two heart beats, you see
The realm of a peaceful mind.
Singapore – Jun. 10, 2020 / 21:45
Layers of Self – verses
There is time when Mr Grey is reluctant to evaluate others’
Actions,
Motions,
Emotions,
Notions—
For as much as the head’s dullness, true colours won’t lie
And untrue intentions will reveal.
In the mode of working class,
Putting layered of dignified masks in silence,
Enchanting intelligent chorus in public,
Smirking in the dark.
Beloved dedication
Decorated with
Stabbing behind—
….
Doesn’t it matter?
No—
Take a time
As long as Time wishes to be with you:
Hiding behind true Smile,
Singing in the Heart,
Reciting poems in the Soul.
Someday
When the floor invites you to dance,
Offering the best music of Life,
Then down to the floor!
Dance until the Light fades away
Which is never.
Now
Observe all the moves
Of the masks around you
Which will undo themselves
One by one.
May all beings be happy.
Singapore – Jun. 9, 2020 / 21:58
Some Dream Grow So Fast- haiku
Some dream grow so fast,
Move on a lane full of pain–
Like a lil bamboo?
Singapore – Jun. 6, 2020 / 11:19
It Says Thanks To You – haiku
It says thanks to you
For showing true and untrue
Through this emotion.
Singapore – Jun. 1, 2020 / 22:15
—
Realising that a gift is not merely about a special thing wrapped beautifully but more about the true among the untrue is a gift itself. No matter how it feels inside until now, I still thank you.
What a beautiful Life!
May all beings be happy….
Maru & Hana – my mood
Cats and river sound:
A bit of tranquility—
What a piece of peace!
Singapore – May 30, 2020 / 21:21
May all beings be happy….
Time’s Bringing Good Acts – haiku
Time’s bringing good acts.
Places add good vibes to it.
How I miss your peace.
Singapore – May 25, 2020 / 22:29
—-
I miss two places the most right now: Bali and Ayutthaya. Once this circuit breaker is exited, those two will be my destination.
May all beings be happy.
Rendang for Eid – my mood
What is one of the most delicious food in the world?
Rendang!
People think it is of Malaysia original. NO, it is not. It is originally an Indonesian food, more exactly from Padang, a place situated in Sumatera. Is it that important to debate where food is coming from? Not at all…. Yet I think I would be gracefully proud to tell people that I’m successful to cook one of the most delicious food from my own country rather than that from neighbouring country.
I present this rendang to all Muslim wherever you are…. Eid Mubarak!
All my cooking is always started with “Browse the Net, dear Self!”
Let me boast my knowledge about spices and the rest of the “squad”: nutmeg (powder), turmeric leaf, cumin seed, coriander seed, cloves, lemongrass (I love this piece), tamarind, ginger, galangal, kefir lime leaves, red chilli (small and big ones), shallot, garlic, coconut milk (instant though).
I normally use traditional stone pestle and mortar but this high quantity of herbs will hurt my hands so allow me to use the food processor. Such a sin haha
My rendang is accompanying me in this Eid — no home country visiting this year, no gathering in the Embassy, no friends will be visiting due to the Gov policy of social distancing. It is fine. Hope this pandemic is over immediately and leaving good memory for the rest of my life….
May all beings be happy….
Singapore – May 23, 2020 / 12:08am
Nina Simone – my mood
You don’t know what love is
Until….
Even when I have lost love that yet never dies, I still don’t know what love is….
And so I’m blessed for not knowing what love is.
🥰
Smile – my mood
With just a smile
You’ll change every single of your day into a joy!
May all beings be happy….
Celebrate your days! – haiku
Celebrate your day!
Every day! For all blessings
Poured down to your life.
Singapore – May 5, 2020 / 00:52
—-
Dear Self,
Every day is counted blessing, none of which is unworthy even if you experience unworthiness.
Never underestimate small detail. A piece of missing puzzle will break a big picture.
Thanks for all the blessed days, dear Life!
May all beings be happy. 🥰
What Is New Normal? – haiku
What is new normal?
A set of taboos maybe
Or ancient practice—
Singapore – May 1, 2020 / 20:00
—
I feel an acceptable level of my new normals after two months of flexible work arrangement and no business trip. I wake up almost at the same time everyday – in my old normal I woke up in different time almost everyday because either of my flight, the pick up time or time zones.
I did my groceries very rarely; now regularly and enjoyably! Oh my god, I feel like going picnic in fact just going to either wet market or to Cold Storage 😁
I used to cook only at the weekend or holiday – sometimes not even because I would prefer going to my home country for short trips to meet my family and friends; now I cook literally every single day and I love it!
I did my laundry sometimes if it wasn’t done at the hotel; but now I handwash my clothes twice a week – big fabric like towels and bedsheet will still be thrown to washing machine.
I used to wear casual or sometimes dress for work; now I wear pyjamas, rompers or even just underwear when working as long as there is no conference call for the day!
And my plants have become happier – blooming orchids and growing rhizomes. 🥰
If these are new normals, would it be my normal even after the outbreak is cured? Might not all be….
I wish I have a better life after this circuit breaker and can keep some of the good and enjoyable things as my forever normal.
May all beings be happy.
It’s My Life – my mood
🤩
Universe Moves Us – haiku
Universe moves us,
Forcing life between two poles—
Swinging pendulums
Singapore – Apr. 23, 2020 / 18:00
—
We are constantly in motion, tracing lined-up momentum among extreme points in life.
If we think we stand still, that’s a momentum on which we meditate before pushed to the next vector.
A split second stillness,
An infinite balancing.
May all beings be happy.
Have You Seen A Saint? – haiku
Have you seen a saint
Walking on earth with no sin?
Yes? What a non sense!
Singapore – Apr. 23, 2020 / 00:30
—-
No saint—
There is never a saint.
What there is
Is someone whose soul is awakened,
Whose life is eaten away by humanity
Whose heart is shining
Through it.
At least those are saints I believe having lived in human form.
May all beings be happy. 🙏🏼
rike jokanan 
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