Moon is shining bright.
A mosquito flies, exploring —
A space in a room.
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/2015/12/151207-astronomy-star-moon-planets-stargazing-night-sky/
Temasek – December 12, 2015 – 11:22am
Tag: life
Universe Is Part of Me
Things to ponder today: Universe is part of me
Not I am part of Universe.
I celebrate my life every day to make the Universe grow.
I radiate my positive energy to keep the Universe alive.
Universe only vibrates well when I send positive vibration to her.
It runs down if I ignore her.
Universe depends on me.
🙂
But I am leaning on her.
‘Coz she takes what I give and she bounces the positive energy back to me, after multiplying it first….
Universe is a multiplier.
Universe is part of me.
She lives inside of me.
She grows when I grow.
She shrinks when I’m ignorant.
So, I better grow so that the Universe goes shining inside of me.
So, I better be positive anytime so that the Universe continues spinning and moving to infinity.
Universe is part of me….
I never stop giving her positive energy,
And she multiplies the energy and bounces it back to me.
Thanks, Universe for being my multiplier.
Namaste….
Before Bunderan HI, October 11, 2015 – 12:00pm
Picture borrowed from http://guardianlv.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Was-the-Universe-Created-650×487.jpg
Feeling Lucky
I feel lucky because I can feel lucky. If I can’t feel the luck, I am not lucky anymore. So, let’s just bring luck by feeling lucky all the time —
- How?
- I feel lucky with everything I have and I don’t have.
That’s it.
Singapore – July 16, 2015 – 2:23am
Picture borrowed from http://solreina.deviantart.com/art/Yin-Yang-Cats-397173093
Life is Too Short….
Life is too short to hoard!!!
Waking up early this morning, I found that my living space looked very untidy. But is it really the untidiness the problem? Not at all…. Coz when I checked it once again, the reason is because there are too many things. Just way too many….
Books are just piling, out of the shelf. Clothes – some un-ironed – are stuffing the three-door closet; a closet with three doors mean too much for me since I used to have only one door or two before. Too many clothing. Boxes, paper bags, plastic containers, and so on and so forth please name it…. Huft!
I’ve been hoarding.
And I’ve gotta stop myself! Or else, my life will be full of unnecessary things.
I decided to throw some unused things away. Giving away second-hand things is the last option here in Singapore since I have to wait until someone requests the unused stuff is there. Believe it or not, a friend of mine threw away a piano, still working. And, just last week we threw away one washing machine – a functional washing machine – just because we bought a new one. Weeks ago I saw a very nice book shelf stood underground near parking lot for rubbish collection. People just don’t know whom to give things to.
I promise to stop buying more things coz I believe I have all things needed. I just ought to optimize their utilities. Ready? YESSS!!!
Ok, pack it up and go!
Singapore – July 12, 2015 – 7:45pm
Never Stay Put
Arriving from Penang yesterday, I’m now packing for another visit to Penang (again) tomorrow. Not being so keen to Penang (except the durian), having some fun in Singapore for weekend is preferable than Penang (doing some laundry, tidying up the room, hugging my dear stuffed animal dolls). Going back from Penang, I’ll be in Jakarta for a very short while (meeting some friends, seeing Moppy & others). After that I’ll be to a couple of other destinations before finally stationary in Singapore until mudik (visiting hometown) to my mom’s town, Tulungagung.
Some friends would ask me when to stop traveling. Should I stop? It’s an enjoyment to meet people from different places in which they are…. Maybe someday traveling will only be for visiting poeple needing my healing supports – but not now, not yet.
However, today I’ve been thinking of stopping for a while, doing nothing in a day or two, staying put in one official residence. But in vain…
Please know that I’m living on earth, a plane(t) that constantly travels around the Universe…. So why bother listening to those suggesting me to stay? We’re traveling together.
Singapore – June 20, 2015 – 3:42pm
Picture borrowed from http://ak7.picdn.net/shutterstock/videos/582571/preview/stock-footage-planet-earth-with-fire-trail-loop-able.jpg
Frog – A Transformation
So many years that butterfly is a symbol of transformation has been ingrained in my blood. From egg to caterpillar to cocoon then beautiful winged soft insect has been a cycle from a tiny little nothing to flying colors.
What about a frog?
Egg (Amplexus) then tadpole to froglet then frog
Isn’t that a cycle of transformation, too?
Yes, it indeed is.
But… What beauty can we extract from being a frog? Wait! It’s way too early to say no quality in a frog.
Frog is a sign of Spring — when life begins. Frog sings very loudly, invigorating the air of night, welcoming Summer.
A frog is a froglet losing its tail. What is tail for a frog, he doesn’t need (to) tail anymore. A frog is mature enough to take its way without tail(gating). So, are you a frog or a froglet?
And, a frog is one independent evolved egg that is able in detaching itself from the cluster wrapping thousands of eggs and escaping from the fish and other water predators. Ohlala…. You are a successful individual when reaching frog phase.
A frog is a froglet transforming from a water body to live in both water and land and ready to breed. It represents someone able to find the core of reality — being a physical cum spiritual being. Both needs to be developed and maintained; they weave and knit together to generate “haute couture” in a life time of a developed spirit. Balaced Yin and Yang: This happens as part of a frog’s being, our being.
So, human being transforms not only like a butterfly but possibly also like a frog….
Which do you choose as your picturesque analogy? You choose.
It’s just a thought pouring down in the middle of the night before a short sleep welcoming a new day.
- Picture of cat yin & yang is borrowed from http://solreina.deviantart.com/art/Yin-Yang-Cats-397173093
- Picture of frog life cycle is screenshot from http://www.planetozkids.com/oban/animals/animal-lifecycles/lifecycle-of-a-frog.htm
Singapura – May 19, 2015 – 1:07am
It’s About New Life.
And, when your soul is weary and asking what is to keep this life worthwhile? Listen to this song, and sing along….
Lyric below:
masshiro na yukimichi ni harukaze kaoru
watashi wa natsukashii
ano machi wo omoidasu
kanaetai yume mo atta
kawaritai jibun mo ita
ima wa tada natsukashii
ano hito wo omoidasu
dareka no uta ga kikoeru
dareka wo hagemashiteru
dareka no egao ga mieru
kanashimi no mukougawa ni
hana wa hana wa saku
itsuka umareru kimi ni
hana wa hana wa saku
watashi wa nani wo nokoshita darou
yozora no mukou no
asa no kehai ni
watashi wa natsukashii
ano hibi wo omoidasu
kitsutsuite kitsutsukete
mukuwarezu naitari shite
ima wa tada itooshii
ano hito wo omoidasu
dareka no omoi ga mieru
dareka to musubareteru
dareka no mirai ga mieru
kanashimi no mukougawa ni
hana wa hana wa saku
itsuka umareru kimi ni
hana wa hana wa saku
watashi wa nani wo nokoshita darou
hana wa hana wa saku
itsuka umareru kimi ni
hana wa hana wa saku
watashi wa nani wo nokoshita darou
hana wa hana wa saku
itsuka umareru kimi ni
hana wa hana wa saku
itsuka koisuru kimi no tame ni
Singapura – May 18, 2015 – 1:09am
Listen
Sometimes you are tired of listening to friends who keep saying they are tired of walking down their life path.
Sometimes you are bored of listening to people who keep thinking they are the unluckiest ones on earth.
Sometimes you are just wondering what those people are talking about and you just say “uh-uh” at the end of every sentence they say.
Sometimes you are just smiling at the end of the table to confirm that they just want to be heard and not really care whether you are really listening or not.
That’s fine….
Life is about enjoying.
So, let’s enjoy the listening part.
Open the ears wide, and more than that HEART wide to suffice what those people are craving: to be listened, to be care.
Because they feel abandoned in their own life, in their own self…. Without realizing that they are feeling that way.
But, willingness doesn’t come easy. It sometimes gets dragged aside by weak body and heavy days…. So, forgive yourself for not listening to every whining and complaining….
Oh…. What a beautiful life! What a beautiful journey! I think I know why I am here.
If only I can tell them to listen to their own selves.
Penang – January 21, 2015 – 4:46am
Picture borrowed from http://weheartit.com/entry/group/694625
Enjoy The Weekend….
Dear fellow earthlings, let’s enjoy this weekend as Mr and Mrs Fly are…. 😊
🍀
Singapore – November 29, 2014 – 2:39am
S
To Be Just Right
There are a lot of things left behind the schedule if I talk about my life plan.
http://www.globaldms.com/blog/bid/149727/Dodd-Frank-Act-Finds-Itself-Behind-Schedule
I plan to get married at 25 years old but happen to be single until 39. Plan to have a house by 30 but got it by 35. To have iPod, iPhone, iPad, MacBook as soon as they were launched but I could just got them all as one package two years ago — just right after I reached Singapore for a new job. To enjoy meditation years ago but being able to do it just three years ago. To do this and that, all with delay….
http://www.visionsforhr.com/2012/01/how-apple-changed-my-life/
But that’s life, to wait for things happen with real patience. When the time is just right, all will come. Needless to say, but like working on repeated actions requiring ergonomics, it takes good stance and poise to get all life plans done. Stance is focusing on priority, poise is doing the best.
http://www.boattest.com/Resources/view_news.aspx?NewsID=2997
To be just right is a main goal of mine now. To be at the point of understanding that I can only plan and work on my plans without extremely targeting when and how I should reach the dream. Dreams will come true, we should believe — as part of flame to keep up good things. But when and how…. That is just right at the end of the tunnel, we can only see the light without seeing the details of it.
Ahhh…. I’ve been so much treating my life seriously. Time to enjoy every tap of my steps and every tick of my second…. All is well and it can never be enough to say “thanks”. Anyway…
…. Thanks for everything, my Universe….
Muar, Malaysia – September 21, 2014 – 7:36pm
Shrines in Kyoto
Temples are scattered around Kyoto, Japan. I visited three of them…. Many remaining to visit in my next trip to Kyoto.
Bell
Mr. Stork…. perching on the roof of the shrine gate
The sky, blue….
Green and tidy….
Water from dragon mouth….
Lamp post, giant
And summer flowers are just decorating Kyoto street…. Sweetly greeting me.
Singapore – September 14, 2014 – 11:13pm
Water lily in Borobudur
A small terra-cotta bowl with water
And water lily plant is resting on it
Blooming; blossoms are happy under the sun
Emitting the spirit of eternity – living without dying, how? Spreading good deed and love to the globe….
The leaf is so near with the mud…. Living so close to the dirt – down to earth
The color…. so brightly graceful – ignoring where it grows.
See it close…. Details of water lily stun me.
Life is about composing a beautiful friendship by living to the fullest with the outstanding quality of each of the person….
There was a time when I was so enclosed, look so plain and insecure, hidden in my firm unreadiness to reveal my own self.
And, there was a time when I was so aware of my tainted body.
And, when all is done, who can deny the beauty?
Oh there was something, bothering? Sometimes…. But it was just a bug, a virus named insecure friend visiting once in a while to feel the revealing security.
Ooohhhhhh Ms. Sun, are you so radiant showering me so much light? Thank you….
All pictures were taken on September 7, 2014 in Borobudur Museum, Magelang, Indonesia.
YCK Road – September 8, 2014 – 5:49
One Year Older
Birthday has never been so important for me except (maybe) when I was 17 years old…. Sweet seventeen, not really sweet but sweet enough to celebrate it with my all classmates in my third grade of senior high; additionally, tandem with a boyfriend (a friend who was a boy) born on the same day but one year older than me.
Tomorrow (some minutes ahead) I’ll be one year older…. And, I don’t feel it special except (maybe) that I will fly to Yogyakarta then ride to Borobudur to trace back my soul journey.
Picture borrowed from http://www.dpreview.com/galleries/2249911620/photos/1723070/
My father was born near Borobudur temple and I think it is just serene to feel the breeze of that site in my early 39.
I feel so thankful, I feel so blessed for having been granted this life of mine. Being single – not as happy as the married women out there but I am still happy with so much time to take care of my self and to dedicate to my family and friends and many more. Idealistic, huh? Indeed, that is the only thing I can work on to live my life: crystalizing the concept from my scattered moments and spreading my concepts to all the monumental seconds of my breath.
I am not sorry to be current me. I’ve been going through ups and downs; the highest alps and the lowest abyss — my own scale.
Do you know that all my mother, father in heaven, sisters, brother, nieces, nephews and my beloved cats and all friends have been my biggest supporters. They supply me with their cabling energy that connect to me through my dreams and fantasy — their love has magically turn my imagination into reality.
So, I won’t leave them like those who never leave me….
Happy birthday to me. I love me. Long live me.
Yio Chu Kang Rd – September 6, 2014 – 12:03 / just after midnight
It is Lebaran Tomorrow
Idul Fitri – many of Indonesians call it Lebaran – is welcomed after Ramadhan. It is a happy day on which muslims have a big fiesta after fasting for one full month. We gather to pray together on the first day of 10th month of Hijriyyah calendar called Syawal month, have breakfast after that as a symbol of celebrating the victory of conquering the struggle within Ramadhan….
In Indonesia people have unique culture in celebrating this day. Many will arrange a “mudik” – going back to their home town to especially pay homage to family: parents, old generation, extended family. Mudik is generated from a Malay word meaning “headwaters”, the start of a river. So, mudik means going back to the start of a river – the place of origin.
Imagine millions of muslim exodus from big cities to small towns all over the country just to say hello and have small chit-chat once in a year. What a beautiful culture it is! People appreciate the high value of family bond or at least their bond with their “headwaters”. They try to remind themselves about where they come from…. Spiritually it is a symbol of tracing back the source of soul, tracking the journey that has brought us to this point.
After fasting for one month – just like caterpillar stop eating and starting to spin, becoming cocoon eating & drinking nothing – they start to realize that it is time to realize the beauty of soul like butterfly…. Butterfly taps its memory the phases of being egg, caterpillar, cocoon…. Mudik, tracing back the place of origin.
This might be not a make believe story but people in Indonesia are willing to get trapped with traffic jam for hours to be able to get back to hometown. In same cases they even cannot reach the hometown on the expected day but they are still happy on the way to home….
Ahhhhhh this is not easy to describe. But this Lebaran I have to stand by in Singapore for an assignment and can’t meet my mom in Indonesia.
I am ok as long as my mom ok but for sure I promise to myself that I have to mudik in Syawal month so I still can feel the spirit of Lebaran….
This is the feeling of longing for mudik – cannot tell properly how it feels but at least I shout it out here….
Mudiiiiiiiik!
Picture borrowed from http://www.meykkesantoso.com/2014/07/perkara-yang-musti-dilakukan-saat-di_29.html
Yio Chu Kang Rd, July 28 – 12:08am
Long Before
Long before I hug you under the shed of light, you have chosen me to do….
It is not my intention. It is your wish to do….
Wings folded,
Halo un-rung,
Down to me you flew….
To my life, to my heart, to get absorbed by my soul.
And,
Time to press the button:
Last day of your physical being to be with us….
They call it death, let’s call it gate….
You’ve chosen somebody else,
I’m okay.
Be safe.
Be great. Be the bearer of the light….
I never regret for being your human – tears flowing isn’t a sign of sadness. Allow me to cry when remembering you, it is a celebration of my pride of being a mom of a cat that is now waiting to be born as a human being….
Wherever you are, be loving, be loved….
Thank you, Bob….
Singapore – July 23, 2014 – 11:22
A Goose, A Kitten and A Bear
I saw a gracefully-moving goose, swimming…. Not swimming, she was paddling her feet below the water to show me that life is beautiful but with circulating movement of inner power. How do human being look so calm but struggling to reach the other end of their journey which is at the same point is the start of another trip….
Picture borrowed from http://ibc.lynxeds.com/photo/swan-goose-anser-cygnoides/swan-goose
I saw then played with a bear. The eyes are soft so intriguingly contradictory with his sharp claws and teeth. Oye, Mr. Bear…. Please hug me in your huge warm body to feel that your heart is distributing love to your real existence through your eyes…. Your claws are the only tools to survive from others’ attack. Your strength is ultimately powerful to pump your core of love to my life, your strong boundary shares my selfishness of being a spiritual being – I will never want others to dictate my spiritual journey. You take the honey from my hands softly because you know that I only have heart full of love for you. I have nothing but love…..
Picture borrowed from https://addons.opera.com/en/themes/details/sweet-bear/
For me this life is a group of circling boundaries set by Mr. Bear; boundaries full with claws that have been defeated by his loving eyes…. Take the claws and del the love.
And, I saw a kitten…. Kitten, my baby….. Thank you for staying with me for quite sometime. You accompanied me when I was sobbing and curling near the lake. You sat next to me doing nothing except staring at me with full of questions:
“Why are you crying?
Don’t you know I am your angel?
Don’t you realize that you are my guardian angel?
What do you know about us?
How do you produce your tears? Are they from the bottom of your soul? Would you please teach me how to cry sincerely?
Soul, don’t you know you are beautiful and deserve to enjoy this blessed life? Soul, do you know that I will always be with you?
How would you stop crying of missing the real one, while I am here with you? Would you please hug me and whisper to my ears that I am your loved one?”
….
The kitten, he is now a sacred soul with me in this very world…. Thanks for being with me when I was weeping by the lake. Thanks for whispering to my spirit that you love me truly. My dear kitten, you are opening your Life and my Eyes…. Live love, Love…..
They sat with me by the lake where I saw the reflection of my spirit….
My dear Bob, now he is living in a real heaven with full of love all his life….
Singapore – July 7, 2014 – 10:57pm
Drawing As A Therapy
When I get sick, I sometimes get confused if I have to visit doctor…. Too much medication will make me suffer: allergy, smelly urine, dizziness, etc.
Being a moron, oftentimes I forgot that I have my own way of healing myself. Meditation, sleeping (perfect meditation), drinking more water, working out, listening to music, drawing, etc.
I got constipation. Severe constipation I almost got poisoned because this body was overloaded with waste. I took medication and didn’t get better, I even could not sleep and my stomach and almost all part of my trunk got ached. So much burdened with unpredicted pain.
Then I remember something: draw something. I took my Faber-Castell watercolor pencils. Yellow, dark green and blue…. Lines, waves, curves, shapes of circles, a lot of color blocking and some words of positive affirmation. I imagined all those pictures are the representatives of my sickness as well as the curing & opening solution….
Amazing!
I got better… Really better, not 100% though. At least I know I am getting well.
Drawing is a therapy, yes it is.
Tips:
1. Focus on where the pain is coming from,
2. Take any color by reflect, don’t change color you like – let hand move to its slated pencil,
3. Keep focusing on the pain and follow the hand movement
4. Affirm that you are opening the door of relief to the sickness,
5. Change pencil as the hand wants to change the colors,
6. Affirm that the drawing is taking all the pain from the parts of body,
7. Calm down as the hand movement is feeling sufficient,
8. Thank to Universe for everything.
Thank you……
YCK Rd. – Sunday, July 6, 2014 – 4:19pm
The Power of Loss
I lost another cat of mine – Greece…. He is the cat coming to mom’s house in my latest visit to her. He came in early morning following our early cat, Greg who goes home every morning for breakfast. I sat on the front bench and Greece was shy, sitting under the bench – could not eat, too weak to do anything. He was skinny, with eyes closed and sticky with eye gunk all over….
Even after cleaning his eyes were still full of eye gunk
My mom as usual is not so keen with cat but then I decided to adopt him. So, I cleaned his eyes, fed him with fish + soft rice, brought him to vet for general checking on his body, his eyes and for vermicide drops. The vet said Greece’s fur motive is pretty – like Bengal cat. And, we took care of him well from then on. My mom showed better welcome. She loves cats actually – just her old age makes her weaker to get another one to nurse….
Ready for vet
I went back to Singapore – hoping to see Greece again in the near future – July maybe.
Better condition, he looked happier – he slept with me during my stay in mom’s home – about 4 nights
But he passed away…. He passed away yesterday – May 23 at 12:45pm.
My mom was also sad – did not want to tell me because I know she would not want to see me cry as I did for Bob’s death last February. The last message from her was that Greece puked and did not show up for 24 hours. When he got back home he was weak and ready for vet – but mom should wait for motorcycle to go. After that no news…. Until yesterday 6:14pm she just replied me through blackberry-messenger only when I asked her “How is Greece?”
“Dear, Greece passed away at 12:45pm today….”
Then I felt the loss again – not so big as when I lost Bob but it is strong enough to stop my mood to work.
Greece is my beloved after Bob. Greg and Greek are the next….
I learn a lot about loss and have always felt the power over me. It gives me courage to dive deep into my soul that I am connected to all beloved surrounding. If not connected, why should I feel the grief? And, shoo I be connected, what am I gonna do? Sobbing? Moving on and forgetting the passing-away? Or, marking it as another milestone of this soul path? The choice is here now.
But at the same time loss teaches me what love is really is. Love is always releasing beloved to go, to reach the next phase of life – even if the next is death.
Greece, you were with us not so long but has taught us how to cope with loss and how to love….
Mom shared with me how sad she is when remembering you and Greek followed her to aunt’s house and went back home tailing her when mom said “Come, come babies, go home…”
Thanks, Greece…. Let’s happily meet on another day in paradise.
Last condition before I went back to Singapore – healthier, happier, in fact ready to depart
YCK Rd – May 24, 2014 – 12:36pm
Super Woman
How would you describe a super woman?
Strong like Wonder Woman? Or, like Supergirl? Or whatever American heroines in Marvel comics and movies? That can defeat villains in one blow? What a perfect description. I can’t deny but I wouldn’t 100% agree with that.
My mom is a super woman, with all these ups and downs she survives, even she can share in her lowest level of condition.
She has had debt because she had to send all her children to school. Some children of hers were still under her responsibility: financially.
But, she is as strong as rock! With all those trials, she can even melt herself into a beautiful character that would be carved as one of the most valuable pedestal in this life. She is so tough, so precious, she is just as popular as Mother Theresa. Indeed her heart is sacred as that saint from India.
Yet, she is as soft as seaweed…. Imagine how wonderful her touch is to my heart, to her children’s heart, pets’ heart, the heart of those needy she’s been helping, the heart of God….
Rock and seaweed: Both survive in the sea water.
Do you know what she has done?
She takes care of three cats – stray cats which now become healthy and sweet pets in our home – Greg (formerly Mr. Grey), Greek and Greece after Bob passed away. More than that, she is also “taking care” of the mice which would come at night eating the left over of food our family throw away just before we lock our doors. She does think that good deed will never be wrong.
Would probably update what she has done in the future for all of Readers in the world 🙂
This might be something not highly special but my mom does that sincerely. Her love is always as true as her life.
I love you, ibuku…. Love live!
YCK Rd – May 20, 2014 – 1:17am
You, Me, Shadow?
opening the door,
will I see you?
or, is it only your shadow? pretending to be you….
did I live with you? or with your shadow?
is it now that you are real or shadow?
tears flow, flowing along the path pushing through the door at the end.
what end? is there an end?
or a start? what should be started?
are you there?
welcoming me or welcoming my shadow?
am I real me or just my shadow?
just the two of us….
staring at each other – shadow to shadow?
I just hope you are the one behind the door….
Hilton KL – April 30, 2014 – 12:49am
Alun
Alun….
Mengalun di laut, menerpa angin, diterpa angin.
Matahari menghias riak di ujung-ujung alun, bahai beledu bertebaran di karpet biru dan hijau laut.
- Alun adalah
- nafas satu-satu menyambung harapan pada kehidupan
- degup jantung menghitung rasa hati
- jentikan jemari membersihkan kuku yang memanjang setiap hari
- semua, semua yang datang dalam untaian bebatuan mulia dalam hidup ini.
Alun, di laut kau mengingatkanku
Untuk selalu bersabar memberimu jarak, biar tetap mengalun….
Hilton KL – 27 April 2014 – 9:40 malam
Gambar dipinjam dari http://www.cepolina.com/sea-blue-turquoise-pureness.html
Flow
At the end of a long contemplation, what can be found is a vast ocean of forgiveness….
Forgive ourselves,
Love ourselves…..
Harris Hotel, Batam Center, Batam – March 26, 2014 – 10:32pm
Forgiveness
Everybody makes mistakes…..
Can I deny that I do? The only thing I can do is to be able to forgive myself for all mistakes I have done in my life so far.
This is not easy to forgive others and even much more difficult to forgive my own self who have committed mistakes – many – of which part are planned. I don’t want to talk about the planned mistakes. Let’s just talk about mistake that is just mistake…..
My father passed away just one day before I got home. I planned to see him after so long I left my house for work in Jakarta. I was in a hard time adapting the cruel capital city that was blessing me with my first job after graduating from university. I was a secretary in a small company by then. My boss was a very pious person that treated all employees very well but then his company was not big enough to make me enough-paid to buy ticket to pay homage to my parents. So…. I had to save money for almost one year and of course to take a “decent” leave. I call it “decent” because I was needed badly to support other departments so that I did not dare to file for a leave at any chosen time.
That is my biggest mistake, it was almost unforgivable. I cease blaming on my self after so many years….. I cried when I remembered how painful it was to be poor and not able to pay a visit to beloved father who was sick and dying….. And, probably he was missing me so much. Please forgive me, oh my own self….
Then it happened again just this year.
Bob, my cat son was sick. I should have been able to pay him a visit. The ticket was affordable for me. It was just because the time did not allow. It took a long hour from Singapore to my mom’s house. From Changi airport I have to fly to Surabaya which is no problem at all, but from Surabaya to my mom’s house it would take 5 hours and so I have to spare at least 24 hours for the travel. I did not have that much time at that time…..
So, I let him die without me around…. This is almost unforgivable, too. I was sinking below all roots, could not see the beautiful flowers of my life in which those beloved ones nurtured before…..
Then….
I reconcile with my self.
What should I do? All is over.
My beloved father and son passed away when I was away. That might be what they wanted. They did not want me to see them die. They wanted me to just see how happy their life was when I was around.
They have always wanted me to commemorate their good days. They have always wanted me to celebrate our togetherness in a positive way. Like they have been saying to me “Be happy, Rike. We are always happy with you…. Celebrate our life with your good memories. Don’t cry for us. Smile for us. We will meet again in the next life.”
So then I tell myself softly that I should forgive my own self because my father and my son have forgiven me. They will never hate me just because I never touched their bodies before they were buried. Their souls have been surrounding me from then on, so they are never away because of being separated by the container called physical body.
Oye, Self….. Please cherish the love. Never forget that the soul can be communicated with even when the bodies are cremated or buried or decayed in unknown places….. Ask the souls to talk to you, listen to your explanation and apology, sincere apology.
It is never too late to realise.
Soul is always here. In the same matrix and ready to mediate.
So, please use the time while you are awake. Tell them how much you love them, how strong we are all connected and how big the sorrow will be if the forgiveness is not shared…..
Quezon City – March 4, 2014 – 9:37pm
Light
My body is lighter, when I sleep…. I can fly to all places I want to go and meet with anybody I want to encounter with. As long as I sleep well, I would dream and only then I will remember what I dream when I wake up later. 
I should let myself be light, even lighter so that I can gain whatever I want to. I travel in my good sleep. I greet my beloved ones in my good sleep. I just need to sleep well to dream and at the same time to realise my dream. 
I believe my dream is as real as the reality when I am awake. My reality in awake state is when the body experiences all things in life. But in dream is when my soul lets my body take a rest and it goes by itself experiencing etheric reality…. So, no matter what I dream I would thank that in the name of God I get what my body has dreamt of in the day. Oh…. how light I am now, sleepy…. Need some good sleep and sweet dream. Let me meet my Bob, my late father and any other beloved ones living in the world, in this matrix…. I am sorry I am actually chattering….. Sorry but I feel so light and want to sleep to realise my dream….
YCK Rd – March 3, 2014 – 11:18pm
I Let You Go To The Other Side
Bob’s leaving us from this dimension is still a pain for me – small pain but big enough to make me feel emotionally burdened, overwhelmed and cry. And, it is now time for me to release more significantly because the way I mourn gave my lovely son a negative energy and made him walk insincerely to leave this dimension to the next level of his life – in the cat heaven, some best friends of mine said it.
So, I keep saying to myself that Bob is fine now. He is free from any physical pain and is ready to be embraced by the eternal love of guardian angels. Bob is ready to evolve to become my guardian and he can do it only by seeing me smile, by witnessing me letting him go, by sensing my releasing heart, by kissing him heavenly kisses. I shall not mourn anymore. I am not sad because he is leaving me, not because we are apart physically, not because the way he died…. I am not mourning anymore.
I told him….
“Bob, go across the bridge. I know you need to go. You need to transform to be able to be my guardian. You belong to eternity. Angels are waiting for you with a crown and a pair of lovely wings…. I let you go…. I thank you for being my son. I am sorry if I did not take care of you all the time, but I love you…. My mom – Ibu – loves you as well… Please don’t be sad, smile…. Smile, my baby. Walk steadily, my son…. You can visit me and Ibu when you miss us. Just come to our dream, to our meditative level of brain. You may call us with your vibrating soul. Touch us, greet us gently like you kissed us, like you touched us, like you licked our skin, like you did in our contact….”
I will still write about you…. For sure.
Press your soft paws to our cheek so we know when you are around. Please meow softly to us so we know that you are around. Let’s keep this love and fill the air with it. Namaste….
This song is for you, Bob….
“To Where You Are” (Josh Groban)
Who can say for certain
Maybe you’re still here
I feel you all around me
Your memory’s so clear
Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You’re still an inspiration
Can it be
That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above
Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are
Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn’t faith believing
All power can’t be seen
As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
‘Cause you are my
Forever love
Watching me from up above
And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave
Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are
I know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are
…..
Yio Chu Kang Rd – February 28, 2014 – 9:12pm
Asylum
Who needs asylum?
People who needs protection in one point of view, but considered disturbing in the other one. One group of people who are considered doing bad things in one country could be one deserved to get an asylum in another country. One (considered) mad man will be committed to asylum because of doing dangerous actions in one society.
Oh, Asylum….
Are you well defined? Do those people really do bad? Or, just want to help the people in their countries to liberate themselves or even just want to help themselves to liberate their mind. Those mad men are probably people who are not well understood by the society.
Asylum is just one place that provide protection until the society can understand what the people and mad men have done. Their actions are just their unique love that will be proven as pure as what saints have showered to the human kind. Their madness is just a way to unravel the twisted knead in their concept of life.
They are not really wrong, they are not really disturbing. They are just lost in their confusion and nobody can accept and help appropriately.
Let’s help ourselves accept the people now living in asylums as they are. They are human beings like us who are waiting to be reborn and become the best light worker on earth.
Just in front of Bunderan HI, Jakarta – February 24, 2014 – 11:29pm
Picture borrowed from http://unhcr.org.au/unhcr/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=304:art-competition-2013&catid=53:wrd-art-contest&Itemid=110
Children of Our Time
Children are the mirror of their era.
Are they happy? Or, are they miserable?
Are they optimist or pessimist?
Are they loved? Or ignored?
Are they nurtured? Or tortured?
Let’s love our children…. Like we love ourselves.
But let’s love ourselves first then… ‘Coz if we don’t love ourselves, how can we love our children?
And, all in all we are creating mirror of their time….
Singapore – February 22, 2014 – 3:58am
Mr. Gray
He used to be the biggest enemy of Bob in Bob’s earlier stay in my mom’s house. He was very skinny then, always trying to peep what Bob was having for meal. Bob would stay inside, not wanting to go out welcome by his evil stare.
Mr. Gray is a tomcat which is now occupying my mom’s terrace – one corner where a curling water hose is put.
I am Mr. Gray….
He is there every single day, sleeping and curling, yawning and waiting for meal after Bob has finished the food on the plate. He is not so much evil to Bob anymore because he knows he will never replace Bob’s position in our heart. But he is trying to behave nicer by staying away from Bob – except at night when Bob is outside we sometimes hear they still quarrel over female cats…. Let it be, they are real cats.
Mr. Gray has become new member in our family. We won’t let him in though. We just spare a corner outside that we think still comfortable for him to nap. We give him meal every time Bob finishes with the breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner or supper.
Mr. Gray would shout at us if we forget to feed him…. So sweet….
We know it is additional energy needed to share but it is good to share, even only with a cat.
Seeing that Mr. Gray behaves less evil to Bob, we are relieved. That Mr. Gray is fatter, we are thankful. That Mr. Gray lives a bit happily, we are also happy.
Thanks, Mr. Gray…. For being a good fellow creature enjoying the blessing under the sky…. We know you always pray for our good so that you can get good things from us.
We love you, Mr. Gray…. Go ahead napping….
Yio Chu Kang Rd, February 15, 2014 – 6:16pm
Mr. Gray is meowing: “Food, food…. I am hungry…”
Love’s Day – Why?
I have so much love in my heart. I don’t need one named day to express mine to anyone. I can express it today, tomorrow, any days in the future like I did it yesterday, tester month, long long ago…. I just need love to do it. If I still have love in heart, I still have things to share.
I might have no flowers for you, but I definitely send you fragrance of flowers in my love….
I might not have chocolate for you, but I save the bitter-sweet shape of love in every breath I take then give…
I don’t have symbols when giving love. I just do with all my heart.
Be it misunderstood as too much, it is not a problem for me.
I just love…
My love touches all… Only the one that can feel the touch.
If the love is not felt, hopefully my love can grow bigger so that it can reach the untouchable surface of heart….
Life is so short.
How short it is, I don’t know.
It is not countable like the age.
But in the un-measured shortness, let’s appreciate it by doing things.
Doing things, the best manner we can.
No matter what, we have no choice but doing to be…. Being….
Doing the best
Being human,
In the shortness of life
Spreading love….
Vibrating my loving soul to the universe….
I love you, mother.
I love you, sisters.
I love you, my dear Bob….
I love you all fellow creatures….
Peace be upon all the universe….
Singapore – February 14, 2014 – 12:19am
Flowers with Guests
Sometimes it is not easy to capture beauty…. It has become a rigid template so that many can’t understand why some people call some allegedly-ugly things beautiful.
Here is some beauty I captured through my humble heart. Happy to share with you with all my heart…. Peace be upon you all in this universe. Enjoy…
Tulips in Aesop’s counter….
Orchid in Indonesia Embassy in Singapore
Frangipani in Gardens by The Bay, Singapore
Cahaba lily in the Gardens by The Bay, Singapore
Hibiscus in alun-alun (town square) Tulungagung, East Java, Indonesia
Hibiscus in alun-alun (town square) Tulungagung, East Java, Indonesia
Bud of water lily and a guest – Mr. Dragonfly
Euphorbia in my mom’s house terrace
Flowers of garlic chives and the guest – Ms. Fly in my sister’s garden
Cat’s whisker in my mom’s house… Hey, if you are careful, two uncles Ant are there…
Chrysanthemum in Changi airport, Singapore
Oh…. the guest – Princess Bird – is trying to taste the nectar in an orchid stem….
Bromelia in Gardens by The Bay – Singapore
Hydrangea (five colour flower) in Changi airport – Singapore
Adenium in Ina’s front garden – Tulungagung, East Java, Indonesia
Bromelia in Changi airport, Singapore
Singapore – February 9, 2014 – 2:47pm
rike jokanan 
You must be logged in to post a comment.