Tag: life

The Power of Loss

Learning

I lost another cat of mine – Greece…. He is the cat coming to mom’s house in my latest visit to her. He came in early morning following our early cat, Greg who goes home every morning for breakfast. I sat on the front bench and Greece was shy, sitting under the bench – could not eat, too weak to do anything. He was skinny, with eyes closed and sticky with eye gunk all over….

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Even after cleaning his eyes were still full of eye gunk

 

My mom as usual is not so keen with cat but then I decided to adopt him. So, I cleaned his eyes, fed him with fish + soft rice, brought him to vet for general checking on his body, his eyes and for vermicide drops. The vet said Greece’s fur motive is pretty – like Bengal cat. And, we took care of him well from then on. My mom showed better welcome. She loves cats actually – just her old age makes her weaker to get another one to nurse….

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Ready for vet

 

I went back to Singapore – hoping to see Greece again in the near future – July maybe.

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Better condition, he looked happier – he slept with me during my stay in mom’s home – about 4 nights

 

But he passed away…. He passed away yesterday – May 23 at 12:45pm.

My mom was also sad – did not want to tell me because I know she would not want to see me cry as I did for Bob’s death last February. The last message from her was that Greece puked and did not show up for 24 hours. When he got back home he was weak and ready for vet – but mom should wait for motorcycle to go. After that no news…. Until yesterday 6:14pm she just replied me through blackberry-messenger only when I asked her “How is Greece?”

“Dear, Greece passed away at 12:45pm today….”

Then I felt the loss again – not so big as when I lost Bob but it is strong enough to stop my mood to work.

Greece is my beloved after Bob. Greg and Greek are the next….

I learn a lot about loss and have always felt the power over me. It gives me courage to dive deep into my soul that I am connected to all beloved surrounding. If not connected, why should I feel the grief? And, shoo I be connected, what am I gonna do? Sobbing? Moving on and forgetting the passing-away? Or, marking it as another milestone of this soul path? The choice is here now.

But at the same time loss teaches me what love is really is. Love is always releasing beloved to go, to reach the next phase of life – even if the next is death.

Greece, you were with us not so long but has taught us how to cope with loss and how to love….

Mom shared with me how sad she is when remembering you and Greek followed her to aunt’s house and went back home tailing her when mom said “Come, come babies, go home…”

Thanks, Greece…. Let’s happily meet on another day in paradise.

 

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Last condition before I went back to Singapore – healthier, happier, in fact ready to depart 

 

YCK Rd – May 24, 2014 – 12:36pm

 

 

Super Woman

Learning

How would you describe a super woman?

Strong like Wonder Woman? Or, like Supergirl? Or whatever American heroines in Marvel comics and movies? That can defeat villains in one blow? What a perfect description. I can’t deny but I wouldn’t 100% agree with that.

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My mom is a super woman, with all these ups and downs she survives, even she can share in her lowest level of condition.

She has had debt because she had to send all her children to school. Some children of hers were still under her responsibility: financially.

But, she is as strong as rock! With all those trials, she can even melt herself into a beautiful character that would be carved as one of the most valuable pedestal in this life. She is so tough, so precious, she is just as popular as Mother Theresa. Indeed her heart is sacred as that saint from India.

Yet, she is as soft as seaweed…. Imagine how wonderful her touch is to my heart, to her children’s heart, pets’ heart, the heart of those needy she’s been helping, the heart of God….

Rock and seaweed: Both survive in the sea water.

Do you know what she has done?

She takes care of three cats – stray cats which now become healthy and sweet pets in our home – Greg (formerly Mr. Grey), Greek and Greece after Bob passed away. More than that, she is also “taking care” of the mice which would come at night eating the left over of food our family throw away just before we lock our doors. She does think that good deed will never be wrong.

Would probably update what she has done in the future for all of Readers in the world 🙂

This might be something not highly special but my mom does that sincerely. Her love is always as true as her life.

I love you, ibuku…. Love live!

YCK Rd – May 20, 2014 – 1:17am

You, Me, Shadow?

Bob, This Person

opening the door,

will I see you?

or, is it only your shadow? pretending to be you….

did I live with you? or with your shadow?

is it now that you are real or shadow?

 

tears flow, flowing along the path pushing through the door at the end.

what end? is there an end?

or a start? what should be started?

 

are you there?

welcoming me or welcoming my shadow?

am I real me or just my shadow?

 

just the two of us….

staring at each other – shadow to shadow?

 

I just hope you are the one behind the door….

 

Hilton KL – April 30, 2014 – 12:49am

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Alun

Learning

Alun….

Mengalun di laut, menerpa angin, diterpa angin.

Matahari menghias riak di ujung-ujung alun, bahai beledu bertebaran di karpet biru dan hijau laut.

Alun adalah
nafas satu-satu menyambung harapan pada kehidupan
degup jantung menghitung rasa hati
jentikan jemari membersihkan kuku yang memanjang setiap hari
semua, semua yang datang dalam untaian bebatuan mulia dalam hidup ini.

Alun, di laut kau mengingatkanku

Untuk selalu bersabar memberimu jarak, biar tetap mengalun….

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Hilton KL – 27 April 2014 – 9:40 malam

Gambar dipinjam dari http://www.cepolina.com/sea-blue-turquoise-pureness.html

Forgiveness

Bob, Learning, love

Everybody makes mistakes…..

Can I deny that I do? The only thing I can do is to be able to forgive myself for all mistakes I have done in my life so far.

This is not easy to forgive others and even much more difficult to forgive my own self who have committed mistakes – many – of which part are planned. I don’t want to talk about the planned mistakes. Let’s just talk about mistake that is just mistake…..

My father passed away just one day before I got home. I planned to see him after so long I left my house for work in Jakarta. I was in a hard time adapting the cruel capital city that was blessing me with my first job after graduating from university. I was a secretary in a small company by then. My boss was a very pious person that treated all employees very well but then his company was not big enough to make me enough-paid to buy ticket to pay homage to my parents. So…. I had to save money for almost one year and of course to take a “decent” leave. I call it “decent” because I was needed badly to support other departments so that I did not dare to file for a leave at any chosen time.

That is my biggest mistake, it was almost unforgivable. I cease blaming on my self after so many years….. I cried when I remembered how painful it was to be poor and not able to pay a visit to beloved father who was sick and dying….. And, probably he was missing me so much. Please forgive me, oh my own self….

Then it happened again just this year.

Bob, my cat son was sick. I should have been able to pay him a visit. The ticket was affordable for me. It was just because the time did not allow. It took a long hour from Singapore to my mom’s house. From Changi airport I have to fly to Surabaya which is no problem at all, but from Surabaya to my mom’s house it would take 5 hours and so I have to spare at least 24 hours for the travel. I did not have that much time at that time…..

So, I let him die without me around…. This is almost unforgivable, too. I was sinking below all roots, could not see the beautiful flowers of my life in which those beloved ones nurtured before…..

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Then….

I reconcile with my self.

What should I do? All is over.

My beloved father and son passed away when I was away. That might be what they wanted. They did not want me to see them die. They wanted me to just see how happy their life was when I was around.

They have always wanted me to commemorate their good days. They have always wanted me to celebrate our togetherness in a positive way. Like they have been saying to me “Be happy, Rike. We are always happy with you…. Celebrate our life with your good memories. Don’t cry for us. Smile for us. We will meet again in the next life.”

So then I tell myself softly that I should forgive my own self because my father and my son have forgiven me. They will never hate me just because I never touched their bodies before they were buried. Their souls have been surrounding me from then on, so they are never away because of being separated by the container called physical body.

Oye, Self….. Please cherish the love. Never forget that the soul can be communicated with even when the bodies are cremated or buried or decayed in unknown places….. Ask the souls to talk to you, listen to your explanation and apology, sincere apology.

It is never too late to realise.

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Soul is always here. In the same matrix and ready to mediate.

So, please use the time while you are awake. Tell them how much you love them, how strong we are all connected and how big the sorrow will be if the forgiveness is not shared…..

Quezon City – March 4, 2014 – 9:37pm

Light

life, love

My body is lighter, when I sleep…. I can fly to all places I want to go and meet with anybody I want to encounter with. As long as I sleep well, I would dream and only then I will remember what I dream when I wake up later. Image

I should let myself be light, even lighter so that I can gain whatever I want to. I travel in my good sleep. I greet my beloved ones in my good sleep. I just need to sleep well to dream and at the same time to realise my dream. Image

I believe my dream is as real as the reality when I am awake. My reality in awake state is when the body experiences all things in life. But in dream is when my soul lets my body take a rest and it goes by itself experiencing etheric reality…. So, no matter what I dream I would thank that in the name of God I get what my body has dreamt of in the day. Oh…. how light I am  now, sleepy…. Need some good sleep and sweet dream. Let me meet my Bob, my late father and any other beloved ones living in the world, in this matrix…. I am sorry I am actually chattering….. Sorry but I feel so light and want to sleep to realise my dream….

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YCK Rd – March 3, 2014 – 11:18pm

I Let You Go To The Other Side

Bob, Learning, love

Bob’s leaving us from this dimension is still a pain for me – small pain but big enough to make me feel emotionally burdened, overwhelmed and cry. And, it is now time for me to release more significantly because the way I mourn gave my lovely son a negative energy and made him walk insincerely to leave this dimension to the next level of his life – in the cat heaven, some best friends of mine said it.

So, I keep saying to myself that Bob is fine now. He is free from any physical pain and is ready to be embraced by the eternal love of guardian angels. Bob is ready to evolve to become my guardian and he can do it only by seeing me smile, by witnessing me letting him go, by sensing my releasing heart, by kissing him heavenly kisses. I shall not mourn anymore. I am not sad because he is leaving me, not because we are apart physically, not because the way he died…. I am not mourning anymore.

I told him….

“Bob, go across the bridge. I know you need to go. You need to transform to be able to be my guardian. You belong to eternity. Angels are waiting for you with a crown and a pair of lovely wings…. I let you go…. I thank you for being my son. I am sorry if I did not take care of you all the time, but I love you…. My mom – Ibu – loves you as well… Please don’t be sad, smile…. Smile, my baby. Walk steadily, my son…. You can visit me and Ibu when you miss us. Just come to our dream, to our meditative level of brain. You may call us with your vibrating soul. Touch us, greet us gently like you kissed us, like you touched us, like you licked our skin, like you did in our contact….”

I will still write about you…. For sure.

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Press your soft paws to our cheek so we know when you are around. Please meow softly to us so we know that you are around. Let’s keep this love and fill the air with it. Namaste….

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This song is for you, Bob….

“To Where You Are” (Josh Groban)

Who can say for certain

Maybe you’re still here

I feel you all around me

Your memory’s so clear

Deep in the stillness

I can hear you speak

You’re still an inspiration

Can it be

That you are mine

Forever love

And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are

Beyond the distant star

I wish upon tonight

To see you smile

If only for awhile to know you’re there

A breath away’s not far

To where you are

Are you gently sleeping

Here inside my dream

And isn’t faith believing

All power can’t be seen

As my heart holds you

Just one beat away

I cherish all you gave me everyday

‘Cause you are my

Forever love

Watching me from up above

And I believe

That angels breathe

And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up

To where you are

Beyond the distant star

I wish upon tonight

To see you smile

If only for awhile

To know you’re there

A breath away’s not far

To where you are

I know you’re there

A breath away’s not far

To where you are

…..

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Yio Chu Kang Rd – February 28, 2014 – 9:12pm

Asylum

Learning

Who needs asylum?

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People who needs protection in one point of view, but considered disturbing in the other one. One group of people  who are considered doing bad things in one country could be one deserved to get an asylum in another country. One (considered) mad man will be committed to asylum because of doing dangerous actions in one society.

Oh, Asylum….

Are you well defined? Do those people really do bad? Or, just want to help the people in their countries to liberate themselves or even just want to help themselves to liberate their mind. Those mad men are probably people who are not well understood by the society.

Asylum is just one place that provide protection until the society can understand what the people and mad men have done. Their actions are just their unique love that will be proven as pure as what saints have showered to the human kind. Their madness is just a way to unravel the twisted knead in their concept of life.

They are not really wrong, they are not really disturbing. They are just lost in their confusion and nobody can accept and help appropriately.

Let’s help ourselves accept the people now living in asylums as they are. They are human beings like us who are waiting to be reborn and become the best light worker on earth.

Just in front of Bunderan HI, Jakarta – February 24, 2014 – 11:29pm

Picture borrowed from http://unhcr.org.au/unhcr/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=304:art-competition-2013&catid=53:wrd-art-contest&Itemid=110

Children of Our Time

Learning

Children are the mirror of their era.

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Are they happy? Or, are they miserable?

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Are they optimist or pessimist?

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Are they loved? Or ignored?

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Are they nurtured? Or tortured?

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Let’s love our children…. Like we love ourselves.

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But let’s love ourselves first then… ‘Coz if we don’t love ourselves, how can we love our children?

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And, all in all we are creating mirror of their time….

Singapore – February 22, 2014 – 3:58am

Mr. Gray

Bob, Learning, love

He used to be the biggest enemy of Bob in Bob’s earlier stay in my mom’s house. He was very skinny then, always trying to peep what Bob was having for meal. Bob would stay inside, not wanting to go out welcome by his evil stare.

Mr. Gray is a tomcat which is now occupying my mom’s terrace – one corner where a curling water hose is put.

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I am Mr. Gray….

He is there every single day, sleeping and curling, yawning and waiting for meal after Bob has finished the food on the plate. He is not so much evil to Bob anymore because he knows he will never replace Bob’s position in our heart. But he is trying to behave nicer by staying away from Bob – except at night when Bob is outside we sometimes hear they still quarrel over female cats…. Let it be, they are real cats.

Mr. Gray has become new member in our family. We won’t let him in though. We just spare a corner outside that we think still comfortable for him to nap. We give him meal every time Bob finishes with the breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner or supper.

Mr. Gray would shout at us if we forget to feed him…. So sweet….

We know it is additional energy needed to share but it is good to share, even only with a cat.

Seeing that Mr. Gray behaves less evil to Bob, we are relieved. That Mr. Gray is fatter, we are thankful. That Mr. Gray lives a bit happily, we are also happy.

Thanks, Mr. Gray…. For being a good fellow creature enjoying the blessing under the sky…. We know you always pray for our good so that you can get good things from us.

We love you, Mr. Gray…. Go ahead napping….

Yio Chu Kang Rd, February 15, 2014 – 6:16pm

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Mr. Gray is meowing: “Food, food…. I am hungry…”

Love’s Day – Why?

Bob, Learning, love, Poetic

 

 

I have so much love in my heart. I don’t need one named day to express mine to anyone. I can express it today, tomorrow, any days in the future like I did it yesterday, tester month, long long ago…. I just need love to do it. If I still have love in heart, I still have things to share.

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I might have no flowers for you, but I definitely send you fragrance of flowers in my love….

I might not have chocolate for you, but I save the bitter-sweet shape of love in every breath I take then give…

I don’t have symbols when giving love. I just do with all my heart.

Be it misunderstood as too much, it is not a problem for me.

I just love…

My love touches all… Only the one that can feel the touch.

If the love is not felt, hopefully my love can grow bigger so that it can reach the untouchable surface of heart….

 

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Life is so short.

How short it is, I don’t know.

It is not countable like the age.

But in the un-measured shortness, let’s appreciate it by doing things.

Doing things, the best manner we can.

No matter what, we have no choice but doing to be…. Being….

 

Doing the best

Being human,

In the shortness of life

Spreading love….

 

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Vibrating my loving soul to the universe….

I love you, mother.

I love you, sisters.

I love you, my dear Bob….

I love you all fellow creatures….

 

Peace be upon all the universe….

 

 

Singapore – February 14, 2014 – 12:19am

 

Flowers with Guests

life, love

Sometimes it is not easy to capture beauty…. It has become a rigid template so that many can’t understand why some people call some allegedly-ugly things beautiful.

Here is some beauty I captured through my humble heart. Happy to share with you with all my heart…. Peace be upon you all in this universe. Enjoy…

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Tulips in Aesop’s counter….

 

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Orchid in Indonesia Embassy in Singapore

 

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Frangipani in Gardens by The Bay, Singapore

 

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Cahaba lily in the Gardens by The Bay, Singapore

 

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Hibiscus in alun-alun (town square) Tulungagung, East Java, Indonesia

 

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Hibiscus in alun-alun (town square) Tulungagung, East Java, Indonesia

 

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Bud of water lily and a guest – Mr. Dragonfly

 

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Euphorbia in my mom’s house terrace

 

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Flowers of garlic chives and the guest – Ms. Fly in my sister’s garden

 

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Cat’s whisker in my mom’s house… Hey, if you are careful, two uncles Ant are there…

 

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Chrysanthemum in Changi airport, Singapore

 

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Oh…. the guest – Princess Bird – is trying to taste the nectar in an orchid stem….

 

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Bromelia in Gardens by The Bay – Singapore

 

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Hydrangea (five colour flower) in Changi airport – Singapore

 

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Adenium in Ina’s front garden – Tulungagung, East Java, Indonesia

 

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Bromelia in Changi airport, Singapore

Singapore – February 9, 2014 – 2:47pm

My Love Is Forever Growing

Learning, love

I am almost 40 years old. So happy, without reason — age is not a reason to be happy. I just accept the way I am growing old, physically and mentally.

I was born in a family of seven. My late father, a wise simple man. My mother, the beautiful Javanese woman who is nurtured by this grand nature to be a super patient lady. Two brothers and two sisters. We are seven in a package, with ups and downs and some knots in our journey of life. And, now I have one son called Bob (Robert de Niro is his full name), my dear cat I’ve adopted as a son several years ago.

One more grey cat – we named him Mr. Gray – sleeps every single day in our verandah; so, let’s call him another additional family member.

I can’t give something extraordinary to them except one. Love…

I have nothing that grows forever, everlasting and without limit except love. I send it to my family members every single second with or without realising it.

All my family is in Indonesia. I am in a small country, Singapore. Not really far but less accessible sometimes.

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When missing my family, I just open their pictures and send them my positive vibration. Or, I close my eyes, imagine their faces and send my energy to them.

It is a cloudy day, my love is still growing…. I am sending positive energy from Singapore to Indonesia, to cover my family or even all people there so that they feel the love that grows forever.

I also send my love to my dear Bob that has been so much lovely in his presence and absence to my physical. I love you, cat…

Mr. Gray, my love is for you. Be still, there coiling your fattening body until a plate of meal is served to you… Of course you should be patient until Bob is doing and you will have to have your meal together with him.

My love is also for all my neighbours, friends and all animals there… Be happy. I hope things go right… All violence is eradicated. You are living in happiness and peace…

To the world, earth and all the creatures in it… My love is growing forever for me and you… for us…

This love is precious. Never go away….

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Singapore, February 8, 2014 – 5:11pm

Love Across The Border

Bob, Learning, love

I am away from home.

I am far away from family.

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My closest family is Bob – a stray cat I adopted about five years ago when I was living in a rented room in Tangerang. Bob came to my landlady’s house every afternoon when I got home. I used to sit on one sofa inside or outside the house when he started to look at my chewing mouth.

“Are you hungry, cat?” From then on I never forgot to bring some food for him.

Now he is with my mom, in her village — 1,921 kilometres away from Singapore.

He is a spoiled son of mine. Almost all of my mom’s neighbours know that Bob is my “son” and they never dare disturb – if only all knew. Some don’t know and they would do things bad if they feel my cat (or any other cats) don’t behave… Oh man…. You behave please, a cat purely behave – you just don’t know.

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I post Bob’s pictures on my fridge’s body and on the board of my workstation. I will greet his face in the photos everyday when I am in town. When I am traveling I kiss and smile at his saved pics in my smartphone. I feel like Bob is never far from me. My love and care for him is just the same from the first time I trained him to get used to my skin by touching on my toes on his body until finally he is fond of being caressed and stroked.

I sometimes salute him a Namaste from here just to whisper to his soul that we are never apart. Oh, what a special cat he is. Yes, indeed.

Bob was the only friend of mine when everybody did not want to be with me. Bob was the one staring at me when I was crying alone in my house. Bob was the one reminding me when there was someone climbing up to my house rooftop and saved me. Bob was the one who reminded me that there is always a soul caring…. And, he is the one making me so much full of energy in earning money. I sent some money to my mom to buy some food for him and of course for my mom…. 🙂 So simple my motivation, it is just a cat and a woman.

This Chinese New Year I hope I can go back home again to see Bob. I will let him know that my love to him is across the border. Not just a river I can sail across but it is the sky that I fly across to find good life for him.

Hi Bob, thanks for being my dear son for the past five years. Please behave, be healthy and live long. I always miss you….

Yio Chu Kang Rd – January 17, 2014 – 10:13pm

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It was when he was sick before I went to a business trip for 3 days, I put him in an animal clinic that did not take care of him as well as I expected. Well, it was then…. Now he is ok with my mom and sisters.

Responsible Choices

Bob, Learning, love

Life is about choices, many people say. Not easy to choose the best one though.

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My life is also full of choices. Every single day is between what in one hand and what in the other. Always two: this or that, here or there, now or never….

Am I thinking too much when I remember the day when I was so nervous and sorry for having chosen wrongly. Choose wrongly? What have I done? Many.

Thought I chose the wrong man that we broke up even with no strong ground. The worst relationship was actually the mostly-hoped-to-be-long-lasting; the guy literally dumped me because he just told me through short-message-service that “it is over”. Painful?

Thought I worked to wrong boss because that very good friend turned to be the most wicked vixen on earth — no wisdom I found at all when she became a boss. I left the company bringing a bunch of regret and wounds. How could one of best friends treat people like shit?

Thought I made a mistake when taking this current job because I learned that the stress was very high and being perfection is like an occult. I felt the stress and just wanted to go home. Even 5-star facilities could not help. What I experienced was chains of pressure and  underestimation.

Thought I took care of myself the best I could. I thought I took care of my cat the best I could. I thought I did, I thought I didn’t….

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All I thought are now turning into what I personally call “my glorious ordinary” — something in daily life so ordinary but making me gain victory every single day, no regret only big lessons.

The unfair relationship has taught a girl to be a more mature woman that would never let any man to just do whatever he wants to pretend to love her. A mature woman who still believes that freedom is not only man’s privilege; it is also woman’s right. My choice is right.

Working in a historical office with unskilled boss would make an ex employee aware that to be a leader someone has to be able to lead one’s self. Management becomes very urgent. Never let others decide what you believe is right and do what you believe is right. That lousy boss has even strengthened one’s character. My choice is right.

Working in a place where people want to gain perfection is one of honorable positions. It doesn’t make people become better than the rest but at least it makes people believe that they have the right to do their best. No need to be shiny in the world and get the big name but of doing stupid things but just to be glowing in the heart by being useful to people. My choice is right.

Making choice should be responsibly.

Won’t ever let myself choose irresponsibly like torturing animals that have nothing but receiving whatever human beings want to do about this earth. Never. Animals are also fellow creatures. Let’s love them the way we love ourselves….. Why don’t we start stopping violence to animal by adopting stray dogs or cats? Or, even by buying product (including cosmetics) that don’t apply animal testing.

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Picture borrowed from http://viveashphotography.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/dsc_1303small.jpg

Won’t let myself make someone do things without any good reasoning. You want people to be good? What is good? Tell them why they should be that good. If they want, that’s good. If not, that’s good but there should be risk of not doing good.

Things are changing but no need to worry because change does not define us. Choice defines us.

Let’s choose with love. What is that? Choosing responsibly:

Choosing to not force our violent behavior to the weak. Choosing to amend regret by seeing the learning part of life steps. And letting fellow creature think of why we are choosing then letting them choose….

Life is full of choices and today I believe I choose the best way to express section of my  unconscious mind here now….

Singapore – January 11, 2104 – 1:42am

Gate

Learning

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When you are already standing in front of the door, please don’t stop too long doing nothing. Pray, do knock on it or just go away because someone behind you wants to get in or somebody is going to go out from behind the door in front of you.

 

Life is just like going into different doors – never ending chains until finally the ultimate gate is welcoming you at the end of this big journey – just to start the new bigger one. So, don’t doubt. Go in or just go away.

 

The door is yours, the journey is yours, the decision is yours so never bother to think of others’ approval anymore.

 

 

Singapore – November 16, 2013 – 16:25

  • picture of gate of 23 Love Lane – a boutique hotel in 23 Love Lane, Georgetown, Penang, Malaysia (taken just on November 13, 2013 by myself)

MY LOVE TO ANIMALS

Bob, Learning, love, This Person

My life changed

When I adopted a cat and named him Bob.

From then on I have loved animals more and more…

Be it cat, dog or other kinds

I will give my charity as I can

The best I can…

God, please save the life of the neglected animals

…

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PUISI KUCING

Bob, Learning, love

Kucing itu cakep
Binatang imut kusayang…
Bulu yang halus dan suara yang lembut….
Sangat menggetarkan…

Aku punya satu.
Bob namanya
Kucing jantan
Kunamai karena dua alasan
Karena nama lengkapnya Robert de Niro
Dan karena Bob adalah nickname pacarku, mantan….

Tadi ku nemu satu kucing lagi
Tapi tak kuadopsi
Karena masih bayi dua hari
Dan aku tak sanggup mengurusnya

Si kucing mungil
Maafkan aku karena telah menyentuhmu
Terlalu banyak menularkan bau tanganku pada tubuhmu
Sehingga simbokmu tak mampu menyentuh aromamu…

Maka kuseka aku dengan handuk baru dan meminta maaf
Padamu….
Simbokmu akan segera menjamahmu.
Lalu kamu menjadi kucing yang manis
Dewasa dan sehat…

Love catsy….

Garuda Lounge, Soetta Tangerang
July 7, 2013 – 7:08 petang

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BERKISAH TENTANG…

Learning, love, Poetic

Berkisahku tentang
Sesuatu yang nisbi ada
Yang berkelindan dalam rangkaian rantai hidup
Jika terputus bukan karena patah melainkan karena terhalang kabut….

Tiada yang kuragukan
Hanya sebatas diselubungi lupa dan alpa.
Jikalau ada waktu ku ‘kan temukan pintu, semua pintu
Menuju surga….

Kita berkisah ku
Tentang semua yang pasti… Di siang hari
Di bawah temaram matahari disaput mega,
Yang ada adalah cerita….

Berkisah ku tentang balada anak manusia
Yang tak kunjung siap meninggalkan mimpinya,
Menuju tikungan terakhir….
Menuju kekasihnya….

Changi – 11 Juni 2013 10:28 malam
Menanti Shanghai tiba

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INDIAN YANG MENERAWANG JAUH ITU

Learning, love, This Person

Di salah satu pencarian ke dalamku aku melihat seorang Indian berdiri di tanduk bukit dan menerawang jauh ke Padang rumput yang meluas dihuni oleh bison-bison yang tenang dan damai. Tidak bisa kuras akan apa yang sedang dia pikirkan, hanya menerawang jauh seperti mungkin…. Meragukan kelangsungan hidup dan kelangsungan bangsanya yang makin terdesak oleh sekelompok kulit pucat yang dengan tanpa belas-kasih merebut sepetak demi sepetak tanah ulayat yang mereka rawan dengan cinta dan kedamaian.

Apakah gerangan yang dapat dia lakukan sebagai anak muda yang telah dihina harga dirinya oleh penjajah berkedok modernisasi?

Apakah harus diam melihat bison makin terpojok dan akhirnya tinggal jadi pajangan di museum masa depan? Dan membiarkan serigala melolong lalu hilang dalam gelap lalu mati kehilangan semangat berkelana dan berburunya? Rajawali kehilangan rentang sayapnya dihajar asap kereta api? Cerpelai merana, kuda-kuda meringkik galau dan alam menangis…

Angin membelai rambut sang Indian muda. Matanya dirimbang air mata, sebentar lagi terjatuh membasahi pipi dan dagunya mengaliri leher jenjang dan mengering lagi diserap Jiwa Manitou yang Agung.

Telinganya menangkap kembali sebuah bisikan seorang dara yang baru kemarin memberinya senyuman. Bahwa perjuangan ini tak mungkin tanpa akhir. Mimpi ini harus diwujudkan. Semua kebimbangan harus diakhiri. Tiada yang boleh menghentikan lari jaman tapi tak ada yang mampu menggeser keteguhan jiwa….

Harus ada yang diterima sebagai tamu masa namun Jiwa Renta tetap harus jadi tuan rumahnya.

Singapore – Juni 9, 2013
11:57pm

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RESOLUSI 2013

Bob, Learning, love, This Person, Those People

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Kiamat yang seperti dipikirkan berupa huru-hara tak berjalan sesuai ramalan maka resolusi menjadi hal yang cukup menarik untuk menyemai harapan.

Tahun 2013 adalah tahun yang penuh energi positif dimanapun aku berada. Cinta akan tiba dalam bentuk yang paling sesuai dengan kehidupanku saat ini. Keluarga dan sabahat makin memancarkan sinar kasihnya ke penjuru arah tujuanku. Kehidupan cita-citaku juga menjadi lentera bagiku dan orang-orang di sekitarku.

Tak ada yang tak mungkin dengan kekuatan positif yang selalu dipancarkan oleh jiwa. Kulakukan yang terbaik; jika bermanfaat bagi banyak manusia, kurela.

Oh Hidupku, ijabahlah doaku…

28 Desember 2012 – 9:09

Once Upon A Time When I Broke His Heart

Bob, Learning, love, Poetic

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24 hours
And he didn’t come home
Calls were shouted
“Man, please come to me. I miss you a lot.”
But no sign…
He didn’t think I was important.
He broke my heart.
Really.

36 hours
He gave me a ring.
“I’m coming. Do prepare, I miss home already. Don’t let me down.”
He knocked on the door.
I went out.
But three musketeers were before him.
They blocked his way home.
Those three delicate creatures were kinda telling me and him that we could not be together that day.

The light in his eyes faded
Like an electricity black out.
He scolded at me in his silence…
Then walked away.
Again he looked back staring at me full of hatred…
Then walked away.

That was just yesterday when I broke his heart.

This poem is for Bob Kucing that could not enter my house because of three cats sitting at the terrace, wanting to be fed by me. Oh, Bob please hold your jealousy. You are always my number one cat. The rest are just orphans needing our help. I love you, Bob Kucing… 🙂

December 25, 2012 – 11:18pm
My small hut at Cisadane river bank

Fyi, Bob went home then and ate with mounting jealousy though he he he…

SUMPAH PEMUDA ???

Learning, love, Those People

Aku tak merasakan semangat Sumpah Pemuda tahun ini.

Seperti kehilangan api yang seharusnya meretih abadi. Bahkan bunyinya pun seperti tinggal tulisan kabur di tembok penuh coretan graffiti.

Kutilik lagi hatiku. Layu. Tak ada warna merah di sana. Putih pun tak kutemukan. Yang ada kelabu, pembusukan sistematis. aku tak sudi begini. Harus kuperangi kelabu hatiku. Harus kugubah lagu menjadikannya tumbuh kembali: merah, putih dan segala warna yang hidup.

Harus kuraih lagi
Harus kucipta jalan perjalananku
Bukan kau atau kau
Akulah pencipta hidupku!

Teks berikut diunduh dari wikipedia
Sumpah Pemuda versi orisinal

Pertama
Kami poetera dan poeteri Indonesia, mengakoe bertoempah darah jang satoe, tanah Indonesia.

Kedoewa
Kami poetera dan poeteri Indonesia, mengakoe berbangsa jang satoe, bangsa Indonesia.

Ketiga
Kami poetera dan poeteri Indonesia, mendjoendjoeng bahasa persatoean, bahasa Indonesia.

Sumpah Pemuda versi Ejaan Yang Disempurnakan

Pertama
Kami putra dan putri Indonesia, mengaku bertumpah darah yang satu, tanah air Indonesia.

Kedua
Kami putra dan putri Indonesia, mengaku berbangsa yang satu, bangsa Indonesia.

Ketiga
Kami putra dan putri Indonesia, menjunjung bahasa persatuan, bahasa Indonesia.

Sumpah Pemuda di rumah kecilku di bantaran Kali Cisadane

28 Oktober 2012 – 4:03 sore

HARI INI HARI BATIK

Learning, love

Tanggal 2 Oktober telah ditetapkan sebagai Hari Batik oleh pemerintah setelah UNESCO mengukuhkan batik kita sebagai kekayaan dunia dan seyogyanya kita menyokongnya dengan suka cita. Masih teringat bagaimana hingar-bingar pecinta batik kita berjuang dengan cara mereka sendiri ketika Malaysia mengklaim batik sebagai milik mereka.

Sekilas tentang batik
Batik adalah metode pembentukan motif pada media tertentu – awalnya hanya kain mori lalu berkembang hingga sekarang batik dapat diterapkan pada kulit, kayu, dll – dengan cara menutup bagian tertentu dengan lilin (malam) sebelum proses pewarnaan dilakukan. Awalnya batik memiliki motif tertentu yang dihubungkan dengan proses kontemplasi seniman batik pada jamannya yang biasanya menciptakan karyanya untuk kebutuhan kraton mengingat dulunya batik hanya bisa dijangkau oleh kaum ningrat. Maka terciptalah motif-motif batik seperti Wahyu Tumurun, Kawung, Klithik, Sido Mukti, Parang dengan berbagai variannya, Mega Mendung dll. Semua yang saya sebutkan adalah “batik pakem”
Di negeri kita ini hampir semua daerah utama memiliki batik dengan ciri khas tersendiri walaupun secara umum batik dibagi 2 kelompok besar: batik pesisiran (daerah pinggir laut) dan batik Jogja-Solo (pedalaman). Dua kelompok besar ini membuat khazanah batik Indonesia menjadi kaya luar biasa. Batik pesisiran biasanya menggunakan warna-warna terang dan aplikasi motif yang lebih ringan dan ceria serta menggambarkan objek secara gamblang dan nyata sedangkan batik pedalaman lebih didominasi oleh lebih banyak warna gelap yang lazim disebut sogan (coklat, hitam, kelabu) dan penggambaran objeknya lebih abstrak dan penuh simbol.

Batik Cirebonan adalah contoh batik pesisiran yang paling memasyarakat saat ini. Dengan warna yang gonjrengnya batik Cirebonan mampu menyelinap ke dalam hati para penggemar instan karena memungkinkan mereka untuk bergaya dengan batik secara lebih mudah. Ciri khas batik Cirebonan juga terletak pada objeknya: tanaman, burung-burung, langit berarak, matahari, dll dan satu lagi yaitu “tumpal”. Tumpal adalah aplikasi motif penyelaras di ujung kanan atau kiri kain yang biasanya diletakkan di depan ketika batik dipakai sebagai sarung.

Batik pedalaman atau Jogja-Solo lebih banyak bermain dengan simbol dan pemaparan ide secara abstrak dan mengedepankan kesan sakral dalam setiap motif pakemnya. Misalnya “jarik” Sido Mukti adalah ekspresi doa kebahagiaan, kemakmuran dan kelanggengan desainernya sehingga dipakailah batik ini sebagai salah satu pakaian pengantin. Sebaliknya batik bermotif Parang tidak direkomendasikan dikenakan dalam prosesi itu.

Proses dalam membatik
– memilih media
– memilih motif
– menggambar motif (mola)
– membatik (menutup bagian dengan lilin sesuai pola)
– mewarnai (nyelup)
– membuang lilin (nglorot) dengan cara merebus kain yang telah dicelup
– mengeringkan
– membersihkan batik dari sisa-sisa lilin yang menempel

Tidak terlalu sulit bukan? Tidak ada salahnya jika kita mau mencoba. Kalau ada waktu, silakan kunjungi Musium Tekstil di Jl. Karel Sasuit Tubun, Jakarta yang mengadakan kursus batik secara reguler. Anda akan bertemu dengan para seniman dan instruktur yang dengan suka rela berbagi ilmu, pengalaman dan kecintaan budaya.

Banyak istilah dalam dunia perbatikan yang mungkin tidak terlalu dikenal secara luas misalnya isen, semen, nitik, nyolet, dll. Namun itu bukan hal yang urgent bagi kita untuk mengetahuinya. Untuk saat ini mari kita mencintai dulu batik kita dengan cara memakainya baik setiap hari maupun pada acara-acara tertentu saja.

Kiranya tulisanku di Hari Batik ini cukuplah untuk memberikan penghargaan pada batik dan pelestarinya serta membagi sedikit pengetahuan bermanfaat.

Selamat Hari Batik
Mari pakai batik paling tidak sekali seumur hidup 🙂

Otw Blok M di Ekspres MC2636 – 7:45 pagi

JALAN LURUS INI

Learning, love

Berapa ratus kali dalam hidupku terderas ayat berisi Jalan Lurus ini? Shirotol mustaqim adalah konsep yang selama ini telah mengakar sebagai sebuah jalan yang sangat sulit dan kompleks membuat hidupku sangat berat. Jalan lurus adalah jalan yang jika tak ditempuh oleh orang yang benar maka akan tergelincir di jurang bernama neraka. Jalan yang terbentang setipis rambut dibelah tujuh dan setajam pisau berlian. Tak terbayangkan kecuali menimbulkan ketakutan.

Semakin saya telaah maka hasilnya hanya ketakutan dan penjauhan diri dari persyaratan-persyaratan demi keselamatan meniti jalan lurus itu. Hingga saya berjumpa dengan seseorang akhir pekan lalu.

Seorang wanita yang jika dia tak keberatan kuanggap sebagai salah satu dari guru-guru kehidupanku. Wanita sederhana yang jika orang bicara padanya maka meluncurlah deretan peluru-peluru penuh hikmah dari mulutnya.

Salah satunya adalah pemahamanku tentang Jalan Lurus.

“Jalan lurus itu ya jalan sederhana. Jalan yang nggak membingungkan kita. Lurus saja = sederhana saja. Jalan ini hanya perlu satu kemauan yaitu menjalani segalanya secara sederhana. Sederhana itu ya sederhana, simple nggak usah pusing-pusing. Sederhana dalam berpikir, menyederhanakan sama dengan menyempurnakan. Kau sederhanakan egomu maka sempurnalah pikirmu.”

Luar biasa!

Menyederhanakan.
Sedemikian rumitnya pikiranku dan menyederhanakannya adalah sebuah urgensi pribadi. Tidak ada orang lain yang bisa membantuku menyederhanakan pikiranku. Hanya aku dan aku saja.

Sederhana adalah kembali pada satu komponen terkecil yang sekecil kemampuan terkecilku yang kubutuhkan untuk memahami bahwa “segalanya hanya berdasarkan kesepakatan” maka jika tidak tercapai kesepakatan “jangan marah, diamlah dan nikmatilah hidupmu setiap detiknya”.

Hatiku tersentak dan tersentuh. Musik latar film masa kecilku “Little House in the Prairie” mengiringiku meneguhkan hati untuk menyederhanakan pikiran, tidak memperpanjangnya dengan emosi, menyempurnakannya dengan kemanusiaan. Sungguh kesederhanaan yang tak terlampaui rumitnya.

Jalan lurus adalah jalan sederhana.
Sesederhana keinginanku untuk tak peduli dengan apapun yang berbeda. Sesederhana kemauanku untuk berbahagia setiap saat. Sesederhana hari-hariku yang dimulai dengan ungkapan syukur dan ditutup dengan ungkapan syukur.

Jalan lurusku bukan jalan di mana sujud-sujud panjang menghitamkan dahi para pendoa, bukan jalan di mana dentingan koin emas merisaukan pada pensedekah, bukan jalan di mana rasa lapar dan dahaga ditaklukkan oleh para pelaku puasa. Jalan lurusku adalah sederhana saja: jangan marah dan maafkanlah…

Rumah kecil di bantaran Kali Cisadane
30September2012

BOB

Bob, Learning, love

BOBPlease introduce my cat named Bob Kucing..
He is almost 5 years old and might have a lot of offsprings around my neighborhood.
He eats fish as main dish and cat bites for snack.
He spoils me with his purr and manipulates me with his sickness. Hey, he has space for fleas that I work on in my spare time.

He is an adorable cat at least for me. Have a look at his sleep…

RINDU

life, love

RINDU

Apa sih sebenarnya yang menyebabkan rindu?

Ikatan antar jiwa kah?

Apa yang menyebabkan setiap jiwa terikat pada jiwa yang lain?

Adakah zat kimiawi yang menyebabkannya?

Atau inikah yang dinamakan spiritual?

Alangkah rumitnya rindu.

Rindu Bob Kucing

Phnom Penh, 17 Juli 2012 – 7:47 malam

Foto dipinjam dari http://www.fanpop.com/spots/maria-050801090907/images/27986990/title/miss-already-photo